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Help! My BFF already has a BF but she's flirting w/my crush! She knows i hate that but she wont stop. And I think he likes it! what do i do?
-Broken Heart (link)
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If he's your "crush", and not your boyfriend, then you don't have any claim on him. If your BFF stops flirting with him, someone else probably will start. Keep that in mind.
However, that doesn't mean that what she is doing is all right. It's cruel of her to tease you like that, and it's also rather disrespectful of him. He would probably be rather upset to know that she's flirting with him just to get a rise out of you.
You should tell your best friend, in no uncertain terms, that what she is doing is hurting your feelings. Put her on the spot and ask her why she's doing it. Don't let her laugh it off or tell you that you need to take a joke. Also, don't let her say something like, "I'm just trying to get you to make a move." If she wants to help you do that, then this is not the way, and as your friend she needs to understand that she is hurting you, not helping.
If she just doesn't get it, then you will have to make a couple of choices:
(1) Decide whether this guy you're crushing on is just a crush, or potentially something more. If he's just a crush and you know deep down that's all he'll ever be, let him go to save yourself the heartache. If you think he could be something more, then it's time to make your move before your so-called Best Friend ruins it for you (you might mention to her that she IS ruining it for you, and that is she cares about you at all she'll cut it out.)
(2) Decide whether you need to start distancing yourself from this friend. She'll eventually ask why - the answer is, "Because you seem to enjoy hurting me, and I don't need friends like that." It doesn't matter if it's harmless flirtation; what matters is that it DOES hurt your feelings, and she thinks it's funny.
(3) Decide whether to tell your Best Friend's boyfriend what she's been up to. This action may cost you your friendship, so don't do it unless you're prepared to take that consequence.
Good luck.
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There is this girl at school.Today she showed me a piece of paper with "Do you think Linda is too loud?Do you want her to control her voice?"I wrote no.Most people wrote yes.I think that this happened because they just want to rebel against something.I doubt any one actually has a probblem with the loud girl.If you have any ideas about what I can get this girl to rebel against.She will also forget about the loud girl. So, it works out for everyone. (link)
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So, if I understand correctly, someone circulated a petition/survey for the purposes of criticizing someone.
Thats is frankly pathetic. I think that whoever started it could stand to learn a few manners, and I hope Linda never sees it. At least you marked "no", but the most decent thing to do next time a survey like this is put in front of you would be to push it right back without any comment at all, and if anyone has a problem with Linda, they should have the maturity to just say so instead of circulating little petitions.
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The guy I love and I have been fighting a lot lately. We both decided it was best if we take a break to get our heads straight. He said he is willing to wait as long as I want to be with me. Today I was going to tell him I wanted to be his again but he wouldn't talk to me at all. He would talk to all his friends and they'd tell me but he wouldn't talk to me. After an hour of crying I asked him to talk to me and tell me why he wont talk to me and he said he has fallen for another girl...Of course I started crying. I am begging to be his again and I don't know what else to do, I don't want to hurt myself like I'm known to do. I really love him a lot and he means more than the world itself to me. I don't know what to do to calm down or how to get him back. Can someone please give me any advice on how I might get him back or what to do? Thanks in advance (link)
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You won't be able to get him back through any action you take. That is an unfortunate fact.
He really should have handled this differently, and shown more regard for your feelings, but what's done is done. His biggest mistake was promising to "wait as long as you want" which is a promise that one simply cannot guarantee to keep.
It's possible that he will come back to you, but you cannot make it happen by crying or begging. If you actually succeeded using those methods, what kind of relationship would it be? Certainly not one that anyone would want. The only thing you can do is go on without him and hope for the best, and bear in mind that the "best" might be for you to remain an ex-couple.
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so in seventeen magazine this girl was like to make my hair soft shiny and healthy, i comb olive oil through it, leave it in for an hour and rinse it out twice a month. so i did that last night and today my hair was like wet looking or extremely greasy looking or something and it felt so gross and now i can't get rid of it like i keep washing and drying and nothing happens... does anyone know what i could do?! (link)
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If it just won't come out, it may be time to try something drastic: dishwashing detergent.
Use Palmolive or something else like that that's "gentle on hands". It may damage your hair somewhat, but it won't do any permanent harm.
For shiny hair, try raw eggs next time. They rinse out a lot easier than oil.
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one of my very good friends has had this MAJOIR OBSESIVE CRUSH on this guy in our grade. shes liked him for 5 years now & has hardly said 2 words to him. i've become very good friends with him & gotten to know him very well. he asked me if she liked him [because it was totally obvious] and i said yes. she is really worried now that he likes me not her & is starting to get frustrated. i'm sick of hearing all of her drama about this boy & i really think she just needs to move on with her life, but how am i supposed to tell this to the most shy girl in our grade. she has cried on the phone to me for 5 hours before, when he didn't ask her to dance at our 8th grade graduation party. i'm just stuck we're sophmores in highschool & shes still obsessed with him. how do i tell her to move on without breaking her heart even more? (link)
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You don't deserve to be their go-between. It's not fair to you. This is their problem, not yours.
"Shy Girl" needs to buck up and either get over her crush or do something about it, and soon. You might tell her that the next time she starts going off on you about this guy, you're going to call him and put her on the phone so she can tell him all about it instead. Being a friend and a confidante is fine and good, but there are limits.
As for the guy, I really don't blame him for not wanting to approach a girl with a MAJOR OBSESSIVE CRUSH on him. Contrary to popular belief, this is not an attractive quality; it's scary! Who wants to be the target of an obsession?
However, he does have the power to break the tension, and you might consider asking him, as a favor, to do so. He knows how you friend feels about him; it would be the gentlemanly thing to do for him to let her know how he feels about her. Just make sure that YOU aren't there for that conversation; this is between the two of them.
Finally, there is indeed the possibility that he DOES like you instead of her. Be aware that if this is the case and you take him up on it, you will lose your friend, simple as that.
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I have a serious problem, I always get boners in the middle of class and i have to get up alot and i dont want people to see me. I am not getting hard because the teacher is hot either because, beleve me, she is NOT! Does any else have this proble, how can I fix it???? Any bit of info will help!!! (link)
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You don't say how old you are, but I'm guessing you're in your early teens. Basically, there isn't much you can do about it. Spontaneous erections will happen whether there is a cause or not, starting at around the age of twelve and going through eighteen or so. The good news is that this is normal and it means that everything is working the way it should, even if it's socially inconvenient.
As far as practical solutions, the best I can offer is tight briefs and loose pants, and if you ever get one that you just can't hide, fake a sudden leg cramp and drop to the floor.
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Ok so a lot of people tell me i am too thin. I've done those online calculators and they say i am, but you can't really trust those things because they don't take in to consideration a lot of important factors, you know. So, I thought if people could look at my pic site and give me their honest opinion? Thanks. http://www.picturetrail.com/photos/blondina75 (link)
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You're too thin. See a doctor and find a good nutritional and exercise plan that works for you.
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one of my best friends recently has completely distanced herself from me. idk why but i think it has something to do with her new boyfriend. hes a nice guy and all but i think hes introduced her to the not so good life of drinking & sex. she seems to always be in a biochy mood & not wanting to talk to anyone, even mr. romeo. idk whats gotten into her but i miss the old emma. help? (link)
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People change. It may be no more than that.
However, there's a red flag here, which is that she is changing after having gotten into a life of "drinking and sex". It's possible that there are drugs besides alcohol involved. If her personality changes have been sudden and seem unpredictable, she may be involved in more than you realize.
I suggest you try the straight approach. Ask her to get together with you alone sometime, nothing ominous or earth-shattering, just a lunch between friends. Tell her that you feel she's slipping away from you and that you value your friendship too much to let that happen. Don't blame anyone for it, especially not the new boyfriend; just tell her that you feel it's happening. She may not even realize it.
Stick with her, if you can. This may be just a phase, but it could also be the point at which her life begins to fall apart, and you don't want to be looking back at this years from now and thinking, "If only I'd done more."
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I don't understand this. Many people are beginning to say X-mas. Well, the whole point of Christmas is because it is the birth of Christ. Isn't calling Christmas X-mas taking the whole point of Christmas away? (link)
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The whole point of Christmas was lost a long time ago. It's my guess that people understand on some level that the commercialized racket that goes on nowadays has virtually nothing to do with Christ, and so they take his name out of it to reflect that. There is also a tendency these days to abbreviate one's speech whenever possible, largely due to the influence of text-messaging and other forms of rapid communication. People simply speak less formally than they used to. Take a look around this very website, & u will c many xamples.
Side note - the "X" in Xmas isn't actually an X from the English alphabet, but a letter Chi from the Greek alphabet, long used as a symbol for Christ for the obvious reason that it represents a cross. Therefore, the name is still essentially there, but since many people don't realize that, it may as well not be.
Those who think of Jesus Christ at Christmastime will continue to do so, and will continue to call it Christmas.
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Okay,
so i have super thin hair, it's hard to do things with it, like even in a ponytail because then it looks stupid. Any tips on how to make hair thicker? (link)
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If there were a way to do that, then millions of men would not be going bald. You do have the advantage in that millions and millions of dollars have been spent researching this problem, but they really haven't come up with much so far as I can tell.
Essentially, you have four options:
(1) Go to a really good professional stylist and let him/her give you some options on hairstyles that create an impression of volume. My wife had thinning hair around the time of our wedding due to medication she was on, but you'd never know it from the photos, and she credits her stylist.
(2) Try Rogaine or some other medication. No guarantees on whether it'll work; my guess is that, much like anything else, it works for some but not others and never as good as they say.
(3) See a dermatologist. Maybe there's something wrong with your scalp that can be fixed.
(4) Wig.
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OKay, i've liked this guy for quite some time now, but i dont know if he likes me back or not. So far ive told all the guys i liked and i freaked one out, which i dont want to happen again. The guy that i freaked out said "oh shit" when i walked through the door at a pool party once. Clearly that didnt work out. But i like someone else now,hes really cut and sweet how do i tell him without freaking him out like the other guy. That was really embarrassing. WHAT DO I DO!!! (link)
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The fact that the other guy "freaked out" is his problem, not yours (unless you told him about your feelings by jumping naked out of a cake or something, in which case he's justified in being a little freaked).
A lot of the answer depends on how old you and the guy in question are. The way to approach a 22-year-old and tell them about romantic feelings is very different from how it's done when the participants are fourteen. There are some general rules of thumb, however:
(1) Get him alone, if at all possible. Peer pressure is a big factor in causing freakouts.
(2) Don't be too cute about it. Sending little notes from a "secret admirer" and then daring him to meet you is going to make him very nervous indeed.
(3) Don't be too aggressive. Suddenly sitting in his lap and running your tongue up his neck will probably not get this relationship off on the right foot.
(4) Start by flirting. Wink at him, go out of your way to be close to him, brush his hand when you walk by, stare at him until you get caught and then smile shyly about it, that kind of thing. If he calls you on it, say, "I was hoping you'd notice."
My guess is that the guys you've told have freaked out because you naturally have a very honest, direct approach. Do not ever think that there is anything wrong with that! When you find the guy who will appreciate it, you will have made a major catch, because he will deal with you the same way - and in my humble opinion, honesty in a relationship is even more important than love. Don't lose that!
Good luck!
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There is this guy I had HUGE crash on, recently kissed me(by the fact he kissed me, I thought he somehow likes me). But for some reasons we didn't see each other since. (for about 4 months) I finally put in all my courage to asked him out early this week. He said yes, and we even pick a place and time to meet already.
In the morning of date we suppose to go out, he called and cancelled it. No reason really given.
What does this mean?
(link)
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It could mean anything. He may have been blowing you off, or he may have had a very good reason; he may even have had a good reason for not telling you why (maybe he had a really scorching rash and didn't have time to think of a good lie, for instance).
Bottom line is, he owes you an explanation of some kind. You don't mention how long ago this happened, but if it's been more than two days and there's been nothing from him, that's a pretty big strike against the guy right there.
If I were you, I would give him ONE chance to explain himself. Be prepared for an honest answer that you may not want to hear - for instance, he may have simply decided that he doesn't want to go out with you, and that's that. (If that's the case, you should tell him that he should not have said yes in the first place, that your feelings are hurt, and that you would like to be treated with more respect in the future.)
If he does have a good reason and seems genuinely apologetic, then give him another chance. However, the ball's firmly in his court to ask YOU out to make up for it. Do not ask him out again, as this will make you seem desperate.
Don't hold your breath that this will work out, though. It sounds to me like he's not a very thoughtful person, and you might do well to consider the cute guy in your Math class instead. :)
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A long time ago i did "stuff" with this boy.
But i seem to think about it alot.
Do you think he feels the same way?
(link)
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Honestly, you're going to have to be more specific about what "stuff" is. I assume you mean something sexual, in which case just come out and say it (you don't have to go into all the details, but if you had sex, say so).
In any event, he probably does still think about it, because teenage boys (I hope he was at least that old) think about "stuff" all the time. But that doesn't necessarily mean he has feelings for you like love and affection. He may simply remember it as a turn-on.
The best way to tell what sort of feelings he has for you is through conversation and emotional connection, not physically making out. If he likes talking to you and spending time with you, then he likes you for who you are; if he just wants to make out, then it's a physical thing only.
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why do people say that bulimia can kill you i dont get it?? what if i have been doing it for the last couple of years in my life but i stoped can it still affect me? (link)
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There is one major reason why bulimia can kill you: constantly stimulating oneself to throw up is very hard on the heart, and can lead to sudden heart attacks.
Other risk factors of bulimia aren't immediately life-threatening, but carry a major health risk nonetheless. Every time you throw up, you are bathing the esophagus and your teeth in stomach acid, which will eventually erode them both. Malnutrition is also a problem, in that one is not holding onto food for long enough to get the most vital nutrients out of it (it doesn't matter if you're not getting anorexically thin; malnutrition isn't always accompanied by weight loss). Severe muscle spasms, organ damage, and swollen glands ("chipmunk cheeks") are also common.
Since you stopped doing it after a couple of years, you probably avoided permanent ill effect. See a doctor, come clean with him about your former habits, and see what he has to say about the current state of your health. If there is damage done to your system, you may be able to do something about it now.
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I have this really suicidal friend called jazz and she keeps cutting her wrists and trying to kill herself because she is depressed i have tryed to help her but she keeps making me feel depressed, i told her to go to the doctor she say no i say talk to school she say no so what do i do? (link)
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Here's the reality of the situation: she's not actually trying to kill herself. If she were, she would have succeeded. Killing oneself is really very easy; all it takes is a rope and a hook. What she is seeking is attention, and she's probably getting it from you.
But you can't just walk away, or she may actually go through with it. Furthermore, if she keeps this up, she may accidentally succeed - or maim herself permanently in the attempt. What you need to do is go to her parents, right away, and tell them absolutely everything. If her parents are not a viable option for one reason or another, go to a school official. You may lose her as a friend, but that will happen anyway on the day that she cuts too deep.
This is not something that either of you should have to deal with alone. Since she will not seek help, you will need to do it for her. Confidentiality between friends is important, but her life is on the line, and it's time to intervene.
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considered a slut if she has sex on the first date? (link)
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Strictly speaking, I would say that INDISCRIMINATE sex is "sluttish" behavior, and one isolated incident doesn't necessarily imply that. I would say that a girl who consistently has sex on the first date has more or less earned her status as easy and loose, but not one who does it just once.
However, tarnished reputations aren't built on facts, they're built on gossip and rumor. Whether it's on a first date or not, getting intimate with someone who is not entirely honorable can wreak havoc on one's reputation. I would argue that it is impossible to get to know and trust someone well enough on a first date to be able to know whether or not they will feed the rumor mill with the details. While one night of indiscretion might not TECHNICALLY make a girl a "slut", she does run the risk of being labeled as such.
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ok well...dont u really have to be skilled to shave pubic hair? i mean girls dont really make it a big deal cause if i ever wore a bikini, i dont really wanna...um..get cut? cause that would suck..any thoughts? (link)
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I'm a guy who shaves. It's not for my wife, it's for me; I like the enhanced sensitivity and I don't like the itchy hair.
When you do it, start by taking a shower or warm bath. This softens and smooths the skin, making the razor slide across it more easily.
Use a new, sharp razor. This is not the place to save money. I use a Gillette Mach 3 and change the blade frequently. Disposable plastic razors are insufficiently sharp and will cause ingrown hairs.
Use a shaving cream for sensitive skin.
Lather up good, and go to work. Pull the razor slowly and let it glide across the skin - don't exert pressure. When you do it for the first time, don't try to get every last hair; that will necessitate dragging the razor across the skin several times, which will make it raw.
When finished, clean thoroughly, and (this is important) apply a thin layer of Neosporin antibacterial ointment. This will prevent razor burn better than anything else I've ever seen.
Curiously, I find that sensitivity is at the maximum the day after shaving. Plan accordingly! ;)
Once you've shaved, it's best to keep doing it, or you'll start to get stubble which is a major itch. I find that if I shave again every four to five days, it keeps it under control. Every day is too much.
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do guys like it better when your completely shaved down there? thankss. (link)
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I do, as it happens. And it has nothing to do with making her look prepubescent; I find that idea abhorrent.
Really, though, it's the kind of thing where some guys are really into it, and some find it seriously repulsive. There is the advantage that you can try it once, and if you don't like it, it's pretty much self-correcting.
However, there is the problem of ITCH. Genital stubble is about the itchiest, most uncomfortable thing on the face of the Earth, and so if you do decide to shave and then let it grow back, be prepared to deal with at least a week of discomfort. Hydrocortizone will help a little.
Try it once and see if you like it. In other words, do it for you, not for the guys.
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okay so this year i started taking a speech class, the thing is..i used to have such A GREAT CONFIDENCE when it came to giving speeches, everyone always says im awesome im always proud of myself after a speech, i know i was funnier and more interesting than everyone else.. (like not to sound conceited or anything, but giving speeches is pretty much what i do!) but i gave my first speech, and my messed up teacher gave me a C and EVERYONE else an A. And it completely screwed me up, after that, when i had to give a speech in english or some other class.. i'd get so nervous and completely screw up and get a bad grade. And now im like afraid of talking! and ive been skipping school soooo much because i fear giving speeches.. so i just told my mom about this, and she said.. its up to you, you can drop out of the class if you want to..
here's the thing though, a part of me is saying.. i should keep going, i mean i already wasted half a year on it, and there's only 12 more hours of it until its over, and i might even end up with a B. You know? it feels kinda pointless to quit..
but then again, you guys dont understand how much i cry over this, its got me all anxious and nervous and everytime i think "Im gonna go tomorrow, and give the best speech ever and prove everyone wrong!" i checken out, last minute.. i start crying.. and run home. I dont know hwy im so affected by this.
im not sure because this can go one out of two ways.. like if i quit, ill be stuck with this feeling of failure, and ive already developed a fear of giving speeches (something i used to be great at!) so maybe it will stick with me forever if i dont go and make it better, get my grade up!
OR it could do what it has already done, mess up my confidence..even more, I TRULY FEAR walking in to that classroom! i cringe at the though of it!
what do you think i should do?? please help, i know its silly but you dont understand how much this has affected me and how much of a big deal this is.. its really hard on me for some reason. its sooo hard for me. help. (link)
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You have allowed one failure to outweigh years of success. It's unfortunate the way in which this seems to have shattered your confidence.
It seems to me that a talk with your instructor is long overdue. You need to meet with him (her) and determine exactly WHY you got a lower grade than everyone else in the class. It seems rather strange that the WHOLE CLASS except for you would receive an "A", especially since you claim to have been very good at public speaking in the past. What, exactly, were you being graded on?
Once you determine that, you can plan how to overcome it. Until then, you probably won't be able to regain your confidence.
Most teachers are more than willing to help a student who shows genuine drive to improve. Ask if you can give him a fifteen-minute speech outside of class, after which he will give you a brief critique.
It sounds to me like your previous confidence may have been based on shaky ground. Give it a firmer foundation, and it won't be so easily swept aside. Perhaps you've had a raw talent for public speaking that never really had to be refined until now. Take the time and practice to refine it, and you'll get your confidence back; and it will be well-earned.
Don't drop the class. You will likely regret it later.
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ok so this guy that i REALLY like likes me back, and at partys and dances and such i will look for him (discreetly) then i will start dancin, my friends see him and they can tell that he watches and wants to dance with me, but he never does and keeps his distance...whats goin on and wut do i do?!
and its not that im not a good dancer, cuz im pretty much known 4 takin over the dance floor, and i dont think hes scared of not "measuring up" to me, because when i c him i try to dance a little simpler and more i guess u could say easy to dance with (link)
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I think he may be slightly intimidated. When you're dancing and drawing an audience, he certainly isn't going to interrupt that and ask you to dance with him. You obviously love dancing, and he probably figures that when you "tone it down" for him, he's making it so you're not having as much fun.
Based on that assumption (that he's intimidated), you need to set up a situation where he won't be so much. Here's what I suggest: Arrange to have a SLOW song come up at a moment that you'll be prepared for, and make sure you're right next to him when it starts. At that moment, turn to him and look him in the eyes, and see if he asks you to dance for that song (or, ask him; no need to wait for an invitation!).
If it doesn't work - for instance, if you can't find him at the right moment - you can still make it work after the fact. When you talk to him later, tell him how the slow song came on, and everyone started dancing to it, and you were just (sigh) SO disappointed that he wasn't anywhere to be found at the time...
He'll get the point. If he doesn't, then he's probably not as into you as you think he is.
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