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BFF trader
Help! My BFF already has a BF but she's flirting w/my crush! She knows i hate that but she wont stop. And I think he likes it! what do i do?
-Broken Heart
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First it doesn't matter if he is your crush he is still single. Second why don't you try flirting with your crush more while she is flirting and talk to her about it and let her know how you feel. Tell her flat out.
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If he's your "crush", and not your boyfriend, then you don't have any claim on him. If your BFF stops flirting with him, someone else probably will start. Keep that in mind.
However, that doesn't mean that what she is doing is all right. It's cruel of her to tease you like that, and it's also rather disrespectful of him. He would probably be rather upset to know that she's flirting with him just to get a rise out of you.
You should tell your best friend, in no uncertain terms, that what she is doing is hurting your feelings. Put her on the spot and ask her why she's doing it. Don't let her laugh it off or tell you that you need to take a joke. Also, don't let her say something like, "I'm just trying to get you to make a move." If she wants to help you do that, then this is not the way, and as your friend she needs to understand that she is hurting you, not helping.
If she just doesn't get it, then you will have to make a couple of choices:
(1) Decide whether this guy you're crushing on is just a crush, or potentially something more. If he's just a crush and you know deep down that's all he'll ever be, let him go to save yourself the heartache. If you think he could be something more, then it's time to make your move before your so-called Best Friend ruins it for you (you might mention to her that she IS ruining it for you, and that is she cares about you at all she'll cut it out.)
(2) Decide whether you need to start distancing yourself from this friend. She'll eventually ask why - the answer is, "Because you seem to enjoy hurting me, and I don't need friends like that." It doesn't matter if it's harmless flirtation; what matters is that it DOES hurt your feelings, and she thinks it's funny.
(3) Decide whether to tell your Best Friend's boyfriend what she's been up to. This action may cost you your friendship, so don't do it unless you're prepared to take that consequence.
Good luck.
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Is it noticable things that she's doing?
Obviously she's not much of a friend if she's going to ignore you and hurt you to just get what she wants.
Tell her that she's making you really mad and angry and sad over this and that you really want her to focus on her bf and not flirt with other people.
I mean that's just as bad as saying "Look I have a bf but I don't care about him. I'm just gonna steal my BFFs crush!"
If she doesn't stop, tell her BF that she's flirting with another guy...hey, you warned her.
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