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Best guy friend....
I have found myself falling for my best guy friend. I did not have these feelings a while back, but now I totally do. When I would hang around him, I'd act totally cool and casual, but now I find myself nervous. When we talked on the phone it was the worst. I'd never been so nervous! I really want to get my message out that I have feelings for him, but I don't want to straight forward tell him. I really think I have a chance, and there's even times when I feel like he has feelings for me too. How do I let him know, like how do I flirt with him? I'm SO confused!
-Fallen for her best guy friend.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Why be coy? This guy has been your friend for a while, you know each other well, and there is already a certain level of trust and understanding between you. Just be straightforward about it.
Hints and flirts aren't going to work. Even if he does pick up on them, he will assume he's reading something that isn't there - after all, a while ago, he would have been right! He may be open and even enthusiastic about a deeper relationship, but he's not going to jeopardize the existing friendship for it unless he's sure. Think of how awkward it would be if he kissed you, and you didn't actually want him to - it would ruin everything. Of course he's not going to make a move!
The best thing to do is to be honest - but you don't want to put him on the spot either! If he realizes how you feel, but doesn't feel the same way himself, he might go through the motions anyway to avoid hurting your feelings, which wouldn't be good in the long run for either of you. So, the trick is to test the waters without jumping in.
First, tell your other friends. They can help you with your plan to win his affections, and you don't want someone innocently setting him up with a date and ruining everything!
One way is to start complimenting him and making it clear that you think he's a hell of a guy. Say things like "You would be the kind of boyfriend a girl likes to show off" or, "I wish more guys were like you." If he responds by chuckling lightly and joking with you, then he's just a friend; if he gets quiet and thoughtful, then there's potential for more.
Start getting a little more physical. Hug him when you see him and hold on for just a little longer than you need to. Make an effort to sit next to him when you're having lunch or going to movies with friends. Stare at him and get caught. If he plays sports or anything like that, start attending ALL his games and cheer for him. Let your hand brush his when you walk. Ask him to rub your shoulders. Rub his shoulders. That kind of thing.
If he's responded positively to all this, then it's time to move more proactively. Be alone with him for this step - you don't want peer pressure in the way, so set up a study date or otherwise get together with him (this is where having your other friends in on it can really help; you can set up a date as a group, and the rest of them can conveniently not show up). After a little while, turn the conversation towards kissing - ask him how he likes to be kissed, or some such thing. If things go well, you can eventually ask him to "show you". He may be nervous or hesitate; approach the matter lightly, as if you just want to try it and see what it's like (NOTE - if he's really adamant about NOT wanting to, don't force the issue.) But he will probably agree.
Enjoy the moment!
Assuming you DO enjoy the moment, you will probably find yourself somewhat overcome with emotion. This is the time to let that show, and it is also the time to tell him all about your new feelings. Feel free to confess everything and tell him that you've been deliberately sending signals and building up to this. And, most importantly, insist upon honesty from him. Tell him that you hope he feels the same way, but if he doesn't, he needs to tell you right away or it will hurt more in the long run. There is a risk that he will declare his undying friendship and tell you that there can't be anything else, but it's better you hear that now instead of later.
He may need time to think about it. Give him twenty-four hours, maximum. If he's still thinking about it after that point, he's not thinking about having a relationship, he's thinking about how to let you down easy.
If you would rather make use of a shortcut... Christmas is coming! Catch him under a mistletoe.
Relationships that start as friends are usually the best kind. Good luck to you!
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Honey think of this: would you like to make your friendship awkward by expressing your feelings toward him, keep him as your friend for life, or just ruin the friendship by going out?
Guys are obtuse--most guys-- when it comes to hinting them that gils like them. For all they care you could be stripping in front of them and they still wouldn't get the clue that you like that =D
But really, if he only sees you as a really good friend (If you've stepped into the friend zone) and you hint that you like him and he finds out for sure, it's going to get really awkward. Also if you do go out with him, you're bound to break up and that would just wrekc the friendship. Just wait a while and sort out your feelings and make sure it's not your hormones that driving you to feel like you like this guy because it could be just an infatuation.
If you wanna flirt with him, give him hugs, link arms, suggest you guys go to the movies together (alone), talk on the phone to him a lot just like you're talking to your girl friends -just don't being to talk about the femal anatomy- and be yourself and confident.
Good luck
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