I am an advice hound. I love to give advice, get advice, read advice columns. I love telling people what to do ; D
Truly, I have a love for people and an honest desire to see every individual excel and succeed in their personal lives, to shed themselves of as many burdens as possible and enjoy this strange and terrible and wonderful gift that is LIFE
Location: Los Angeles
Occupation: advice guru and life coach
Member Since: June 9, 2009
Answers: 900
Last Update: February 5, 2012
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So, long story short..(Well, I'll try my best). I dated my ex for about 6-7 months when I was 16-17. I broke up with him because we were fighting and we didn't know how to talk it out and he kept pissing me off.
Few weeks later, I told him I made a mistake and we were going to casually date and just see how things goes. Well, then he started dating a friend of mine (we are no longer friends) and they broke up.
I am now 19 years old and he is 20. I messaged him probably about 4-5 months ago to see how he was doing. I don't know if I loved him, but I know I did have strong feelings for him. He was my one mistake. So after telling him how I felt, he would come up with every excuse in the book why we couldn't hang out. I know he was just getting over his ex and wasn't expecting anything from him but he thought otherwise. I guess I understand.
So one night, I just up and asked him if he had feelings for me. He nicely explained that he did and quote "You fool me once, shame on you..you fool me twice, shame on me." I explained to him that I wouldn't hurt him and that we were just kids when we did date and didn't know how to talk it out. Well, I guess I had that one coming.
Well, that was months ago. I haven't talked to him since. I know he's going through a rough time with his family, both of his parents are ill and everything else is put on his shoulders.
Out of the blue, he messages me on facebook and we talked til 3:30 this morning. I'm not even kidding. I recently lost my grandmother and with my mom having a hard time with it (which I understand) I just been kinda down in the dumps if you know what I mean. Talking to him last night made me so happy. He has always been a person I could talk about anything to.
So, anyways we were talking/flirting/etc. And a couple of hours in he says "Hey, I just want to apologize for what I said the last time we talked." And I said "What did you say?" And he says "About me not having feelings for you anymore, I feel like it hurt you and I apologize." And I said "Don't worry about it. :)" And I was kinda wanting to drop the subject and he says "I just wanted to apologize." So, I said "No, thank you for telling me the truth. You have nothing to apologize for, but thank you for saying that. It wasn't needed but thank you."
Well, something along the lines of that. I just played it cool.
Well, when he said that, it kinda felt like he was making sure I knew that. And he probably meant it that way. So we kept talking for hours. We asked what favorite romance movie was and he said Top Gun. I said "I haven't seen it." He was shocked and I just told him to bring it over sometime. Well, luckily today...he doesn't have college classes or work. I get out of class around 10:30ish. And I told him to bring it by today so I could see it.
Nothing's going to happen between us. And I'm glad he messaged me last night, it kinda made my day. He is a wonderful person. And I know I still have feelings for him. He was the one person I shouldn't have let go. But I learned better, right? Lol.
I don't know, I asked him why he messaged me and he just said "What, I can't talk to you?" And I said "Well, we haven't talked in months..." He changed it to where just because he hasn't talked to someone in awhile doesn't mean he can't talk to them. I told him I didn't mind but I wanted to know why the change all of a sudden.
I guess I'm trying to ask why do YOU think he messaged me? When we dated, he loved me. I think I strong feelings for at the time. Like I said, I don't know if I loved him, but I do I did have feelings for him. We did not lose our virginities to eachother, so it's not that. The most we ever did was oral sex.
I guess I'm confused and I'm not getting my hopes up because even if I can't have him as my boyfriend, I want him as a friend. He's a great guy and I don't want to lose him again...Losing him as a friend 3 times kinda sucked. I don't want to do that again.
So what do you guys think of the situation? And I'm sorry it's so long but it's so complicated!! If I have any updates if he comes over, I'll add it. Thankss in advance. :)
-Ginguhh (link)
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I think you shouldn't think about it so much, relax, and just let things take their natural course. Enjoy the movie, enjoy the guy, and enjoy the thrill of knowing anything can happen when you leave your heart open.
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Hi!
I'm Mikki and I am having a lot of problems with friends lately. Its a really long story and I understand if you dont feel like reading it.
My (ex) best friend, "Pam", and i had been best friends for about 3 yrs. She is very obnoxious and super confident. She thinks she is super pretty, popular and that everyone loves her. She claims that she nevers talks shit about others and she says that she will always be unique and never do anything to fit in with the crowd. The truth of the matter is that she is chubby, not attractive, NOT popular, talks so much shit about others, and will go to any lengths to fit in with the crowd. Being her best friend, i could never tell her this, and so i would do everything to make her feel good about herself. Towards the end of our friendship, i was getting super annoyed by her personality and was going to go talk to her about it after we finished our Haiti relief dance show on "that" sunday. During dance rehearsals, we were having some issues because she wanted to always be in the front, and she wanted to wear the best outfit. I never said anything. She decided the steps, the outfits, everything. When i was picking my outfit, she decided that she and our other friend "kate" would have the best outfits, and i would have the trashy, leftover one. I said no problem, i will just get an outfit from my house. Friday - the day of the dress rehearsal. At school, everything is fine; we laugh, we joke, we talk...just like usual.. Then, after school, before rehearsal, she calls me up and asks if i will bring my outfit to rehearsal. I said of course, why wouldnt i? she says that she need to approve it so its not better than anyone elses and if it is she should wear it b/c she starts off the dance. i sweetly said that i am borrowing by moms skirt and since its expensive only i can wear it.. she said she understands... Five minutes later, right before i was leaving for rehearsal, her mom calls and when i said hi/how are you, she says she needs to speak to my mother immediately. I gave the phone to my mom and instantly heard yelling so i picked up the other phone and listened in. her mom was yelling at my mom, saying that i talked rudely to her daughter and made her cry. She said that if some one makes her daughter cry(which a lot of people do b/c she is so over dramatic) she picks up the phone and does something about it. Her mom said that i am an ill mannered, mean, liar who has so many secrets and that my parents havent raised me right because all i do is lie to everyone. I was like what the hell is she talking about? She said i was so difficult to work with and be friends with. She said Pam was so nice because kate and pam never wanted me in the dance and i forced my way in and so they didnt want to hurt my feelings and kept me in. She said kate and her mom hate me too. She said that my parents dont know anything about my real life and that they are way to strict with me. (she thinks my parents are crazy because they keep me "socially locked in" since i dont date or have a facebook/ cell phone)my mom told her to calm down and tell her the reason why she called and started insulting me. She said that i didnt let pam wear the outfit she wanted. my mom asked her how she knew kate hated me and she said kate told her. She told my mom to call her and ask. So thats wat i did and kate said she swears to god nothing like that happened and that she didnt say anything like that.(so did her mom) Kate and her family come from a small town and are very nice people so i was shocked wen i heard that they were talking shit about me. Why did pam/her mom do this to me?
At the rehearsal, pam looks at me apolegitcally and her mom looks at me like i'm some villain, so i looked at her like she is fat monster.. as i was going on stage she grabbed me on the arm and told me if i mess with pam i mess with her and that if say anything to or about her she will tell my parents all of my "secrets" ....I looked at her as if she were a psycho and told her to go ahead and tell my mom she is standing rite over there. I told her, that my mom and i have a super close relationship and that i had nothing to hide. She said that was fine with her and i was like wat? i then told her that she just said i couldnt talk to her beloved daughter anymore..sooo...ya..Then she calls over all my friends whoe were at the rehearsal including pam and kate, excluding me. i heard her telling them all this shit about me and how they shouldnt be my friend if they see somethign they dont like...Can u believe it? A grown up lady acting like a child?? WOW...So watever.. the next day at our orchestra festival Pam completely ignores me and everytime i was talking to someone she would pretend i wasnt there and pulled them to the side and started a brand new convo... SAme thing on the day of the Haiti show.. it's been a month now, and every day... EVERY DAY i try and talk to any of my friends she comes and pulls them away...if i sit at our usual lunch spot and all my friends are coming to sit with me, she runs to the front and leads them to sit somewhere else, so i end up sitting alone. Sometimes when she sits with my (or as she likes to claim "her") friend's group, she talks so loudly when describing going to the mall/movies with her "best" friends, or going to a study session that "everyone" has been invited to, or to the track meet or fotball game that everyone has been inviting her to. Sometimes i feel like telling her to lower her voice because i am pretty sure the school now knows what she is doing everyday this week....I dont say or do anything about my "pam" problem...
What should i do? i have no idea and sometimes, since i have kept this frustration bottled up inside of me, i feel like breaking down to tears... Please, Please PLEASE, just help me.... if you end reading all of my venting, thanx...
regards,
mikki (link)
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Wow! Please forgive my language here - what a BITCH! Pam AND her Mom! Listen, Pam obviously has issues that can be traced directly to her mom. It sounds to me like her mom is trying her best not to grow up. She wants to be a teenager like her daughter and so engages in teenage behavior . What the heck was she thinking calling your mother like that?! These people sound like the most ridiculous people on the face of the earth. You should pity Pam's mother. She is a woman who is jealous of your youth and your confidence and that is really, really sad. I'm willing to bet she's a bit of a joke among her own friends.
To be honest, I'm not even sure how to advise you here. I mean, your friend is a liar and whiner and a bully. If it helps, I'm pretty sure all her loudness and bossiness is a sign of a very insecure girl who want to be liked by everyone. If its so easy for her to lead your friends away at school during lunch and other times, I would question wether those people are really your friends. Seriously, do you really want to be with someone who would choose that loud, obnoxious, bully over you?! Pam is obviously jealous of you, and of anyone who dares to have a little confidence in themselves. You need to try to surround yourself with other people who are more like you. I know it hurts to feel alone and betrayed right now, but you're going to realize soon that toxic people breed toxic situations and you don't need that in your life. So just keep being yourself. Be confident in who you are. What's going to happen is that people are going to tire of your fake friend and decide they want to be around more positive people. In the meantime, make an effort to participate in other activities that you enjoy. Reading? Join a book club. Acting? join theatre. Volunteer somewhere (oh, that will REALLY tick off Pam!), just find something. The point is, once you start doing other things you enjoy, you'll get to know some different people and make new friends. It will help you to not feel so isolated. Look, your (ex) friend is a hag. There's not much you can do about that except learn from it and vow not to treat others so poorly and disrespectfully. You'll pull through this. Stay calm and collected, don't stoop to her level. People will respect that and you'll find you attract more genuine friends that way. Chin up!
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I am 17 and sexually active.
I have been on birth control since I was 14 and a half and I recently got put on the pill after a year of the patch well I wanted to get put back on the patch because the pill was hurting my belly so I have been off birth control since January and have had unprotected sex. Ever since then I have been having week long periods to 2 week periods. Always around the same time of the month. Well Recently I had a period 2 weeks late and it lasted 3 days. My stomach had been hurting and my breast have to. I had my womanly visit to the doctor about 3 weeks ago and I went there a few days ago asking if anything came up weird and she said it was all normal and I didn't have a UTI. So what could be wrong with me? (link)
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Did you explain your symptoms and long periods to the doctor? Did you tell her you've been having unprotected sex? If not, you need to go back and tell her the whole truth. They don't do EVERY test during regular visits, but if she knows you've been having certain problems, she can do more specific tests and have better answers for you, or at least can reassure you that nothing is wrong. Go back and make sure you give her ALL the information. Its private, so don't feel embarrassed to be honest. Doctors are bound by law to keep your information private.
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like i love my girlfriend with all my heart but its hard 4 me to trust her but i really do love her but anyways my girlfriend been bringing up dis new guy that goes to her school and shes like he annoying and stuff but i believe she keep thinking about him because she likes him cause like she saids he is annoying when he is not evening doing anything to her and he doesnt even talk to her so i believe she likes him but she wont tell me i ask her lots of times and she gets all mad saying i only love you and i only want you i really need some help and no disrespect but please dont say if you really love her you should believe her i cant cuz it doesnt add up :( (link)
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Then go with your gut. I think your gut has already given you an answer.
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Ok so Im dating this really special guy named Angel. He used to be my bestfriend till we started messing around at my house and started dating.We have been dating for almost nine months now.Im really happy and he seems to be too,we do alot for eachother.Only trouble is...I feel that I love him but Angel has had a bad relationship that scared him(with the onlygirl he loved)she lied to him and snuck around and yeah now he never wants to be in love or say those words ever again...Idk what to do about this because I love him n he knows it but if i say it im afraid I will upset him cuz he hates those words.But Lately like today he was telling me how much he likes me that he really really really likes me and that words cannot express how much he likes me....Does that mean he loves me but doesnt want to say those words? He has been saying this alot lately and im glad im making him happy...I just wanna know if you think he loves me or i shud give up on the hope that he will or does and will say it to me?.....Im used to everyone else falling in love with me but me never falling for them. Never had this situation before. Please help (link)
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"he was telling me how much he likes me that he really really really likes me and that words cannot express how much he likes me....Does that mean he loves me but doesnt want to say those words?"
Sounds to me like that's what he's trying to say. Do this. Next time he says something like that, you say "I need to hear you say it, the thing that you're trying not to say. I need you to say it once. And then I won't bother you about it again. Say it once, or don't say anything at all". Geez, that sounds like something out of a movie. But try it, or something like it. Maybe he just needs a little nudge, just a little sign that its ok to step out on that ledge. You're going to be there to catch him.
P.S. - Got your feedback. Awwww.... I'm so glad that worked out for you... and you didn't even have to say anything! That's awesome. Enjoy the feeling. I hope you two have a long and prosperous relationship.
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ok, i've always gotten the general idea of what would be considered plagarism but then some people have told me different things so now i'm always nervous i'm going to plagarizing something.
anyways.
i love to paint and so i always want to paint things for friends who'd like something done (i basically just charge them for the canvas and like, ten extra bucks for me doing it). well a friend wants this character (frank the rabbit from donnie darko) painted and so i would have to go on google and draw the image onto the canvas based off the picture. then i was going to give it my own design for the background and whatnot. so i just want to ask for this and future reference: would that be plagarizing? i've heard some people say as long as i write wherever i got it or who took the picture, etc. on the back then i'm fine. others have said that if you change it around enough it's considered your work and it's fine.
i can visualize what everything i want to paint looks like in my head, but then when i try to draw it it just looks bad so i like to use google images and stuff for references and then play around with it from there. (link)
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This is a good question. Plagiarism is when you copy someone else's work and then take credit for it. Here's the thing - you should always be letting people know, either by writing something on the picture or on the back, that the original image is belongs to someone else. That's just being a responsible artist. As long as you don't profit on a large scale, its fine. You're just doing stuff for your friends, so no one is really going to notice that. But if you choose to take your work to an art fair or sell it online or even start selling it locally, you need permission from the artist to use their images. Sometimes it costs A LOT of money, sometimes it costs nothing. But it you profit from these images and they find out, you can be sued and banned from selling any more of your creations. So just be wise. Little things for your friends and family are fine. If and when you decide to venture out into the larger art world, you'll need to have official permission.
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I've dated my ex gf for 4yrs. Just recently about four months ago i had her bf come to me and tell me what she knew. Turns out most of our relationship my ex had been cheating. Well cheating ever since i went into the military after that things were different. So my ex wrote me about a week ago saying she's sorry and wants me in her life. I've met a new girl lately but i tell her Im not ready to be in another relationship but i just don't know what i want i think Im still in love w my ex. How should i respond my exes email? (link)
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I think you already know the answer to this question. Your gut is telling you this girl had her own interests at heart, not yours. It hurts. You didn't deserve it and you can't just turn off your feelings overnight. However, the more space you put between yourself and this girl, the easier it will get, I promise. Next time she emails you tell her you appreciate her apologies and you don't want to spend your life being angry at her. Then tell her you hope the next time she finds a guy as loyal and devoted as you were that she'll learn from this experience and treat him a lot better than she treated you. Then walk away and concentrate on feeling better. Its very mature of you to tell the new girl you're not ready for a relationship. However, there's nothing wrong with just getting out there a bit and hanging out with friends and enjoying yourself. It will help distract you from the backstabbing cheater you let yourself love.
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15/F
So, I've always had very soft, clear skin. But since this school year, I've been having problems. All throughout the winter I would always have at least one issue on my face. It was always between my eyebrows or somewhere near there. And my skin in general was feeling unhealthy. I went to Florida 2 weeks ago, and while I was there my skin thrived. I had color and was completely clear and soft. I came back home, and now I have a small patch of rough, pimple-prone skin in between my eyebrows. Some days it gets red and others it's less noticeable but it won't really go away. Now that I'm not getting as much sun, I feel like my skin is slowly getting worse again. I don't know what it is..in hot weather even my hair gets thicker and healthier. And my skin now isn't necessarily bad but I don't have acne, so I feel that it would be possible for me to achieve completely clear skin. Any suggestions at all? I just want it clear all over.
Also- what's a good way to prevent slight itchniness on my face in the morning? (link)
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You're learning that your body changes as you get older. That's just life. However there are some things you can do to help. Skin and hair can feel healthier from (limited) sun exposure because the sun provides Vitamin E. Luckily for you, if you can't find the sun, you can find Vitamin E easily at any pharmacy. Its just like a regular Vitamin you take every day and it will help your skin and hair. Be careful not to get TOO much sun exposure once summer hits. Too much sun can have the opposite effect and dry out your hair and skin and give your skin that leathery look. Yuck! Plus you'll get wrinkles earlier, and you don't want that. Also, drink lots of water. Its the best way to keep your skin naturally moisturized and it will flush out all the toxins in your skin. Try to stay away from pop and syrupy treats as much as possible. Those also add to your pimple issue. And last, find a nice, light moisturizer. Oil of Olay or Clinique have nice products. Make sure it has a small amount of SPF to protect your face daily from harsh UV rays. But no more than 15 or 20 SPF. Any higher than that starts to get greasy and heavy. You just want something light to put on after you wash your face daily. Hope this helps!
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i have a boyfriend that i have been seeing for about two months. we dated a long time ago and he really hurt me when we broke up. now my family is mad at him and wants nothing to do with him and tells me to do the same. are they just mad at him still or are they seeing something that i am not? (link)
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Maybe a little bit of both. You have to understand, your family love you more than anything in the world. Think of the person in your family who is the most important to you. Wouldn't you angry at the one person who hurt them? Would you want to see your family member with that person again? The truth is, its your life, and they can't tell you who to like and who not to like. But try not to be too hard on your family. They have your best interests at heart and they just don't want to see you get hurt again. And maybe they do see something you don't. It hard to look at a person that you are in love (like?) with objectively. So why don't you have a personal chat with someone you are close to in your family. Someone you can trust to be fair and kind. And ask that person why they don't like your boyfriend and why they think he is not good for you. Listen with an open heart. If anything they're saying is true, your gut will tell you. And if they just say they don't want you to be hurt, say thank you for looking out for you, but if you're willing to give him another chance, can they? Maybe they can't. Then you just have to respect that and they have to respect you. Good luck. I have a feeling you're going to find the answers to some pretty serious questions very soon. When those answers come, don't push them away if they're not the one's you're looking for. Good Luck!
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hi well this is hard for me but im 16 and have had sex with 14 mabe 15 people how high is my risk for an std. is is possible to me addicted to ask everytime i get mad or sad i always feel the need to have sex like its almost like i have to to feel better what do i do how i make my addiction go away. and also how high is my risk please i need help. (link)
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Your risk is sky high. SKY. HIGH. At this rate you will most definitely contract an STD. The statistics say so. But there is more at work here than just a sexual addiction. You need to seek professional help. You need to figure out why you seek comfort through sex. There are many reasons why girls your age turn to sex - many girls have been molested and this is their way of seeking the only thing they know as love, some are looking for a man to replace the father that abandoned them, some are looking for approval. When you are better able to identify your problem, you'll have a better chance at quitting this destructive behavior. You can start by seeing your family doctor. Tell him/her about your fear that you may be addicted and ask if they can refer you to a counselor. If you can't do that, try doing an internet search for crisis counseling centers in your area. Many community centers and organizations offer free counseling to young women in difficult situations. Whatever you do, you can't continue on this path. Its encouraging that you chose to reach out on this website. It means you know in your heart you have a problem, and that's the first step to recovery. The next step is to seek help. Don't be embarrassed. There's no room or time for that. This is your future we're talking about. This is your life.
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Well hi..to start off I love my boyfriend with all my heart, and I care about him and respect him and I would never do anything to harm him at all.I'm very faithful and loyal to him. I had all these issues arising a while ago..my friends lil sister thought she saw my bf kissing another girl..which I went over with him and he told me hoenstly he never did anything like that. Well and the next day..he hoenstly told me tht he started having feelings for his best friend..it hurt me and it hurt him WORSE..because he got so upset over it..he was crying and i was trying to talk to him on IM..He told me he doesnt want to hurt anyone..especially me..nd he said he was going to kill himself..than he got off IM..so I started panicing.. and crying because I didnt want anything to happen to him. I kept calling and calling..trying to get ahold of him..my mom called..left messages..finally my mom called..and got him on the phone..nd we spent a couple hours just crying..and working things out. :/ After that it was alright..and were ok now..but his best friend..always comments on his stuff..writes on her status tht" she loves her best friend lou lockhart." ...I know i sound like the jealous and overprotective type but things like this get to me..he tells me he only loves me and wants me..he chose me over her twice now. He's very good to me..he comments on her stuff on fb to..I'm just worried if there is anything going on..what should i do to stop worrying.. over this and just relax? (link)
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No, you are not wrong or jealous to be worried. You boyfriend told you he has feelings for someone else! Of course you're worried! And I think you should be. It is very rare for men and women to be "best friends" and not develop feelings for each other at some point. Not that SOME people can't be just friends, but just check out the other questions on this website if you don't believe me. Half of them are "I'm in love with my best friend" questions. Its only natural to develop feelings for someone of the opposite sex that you spend a lot of time with them. I'm assuming he didn't actually kill himself that night. Its my guess that saying dramatic things like that is his way of manipulating the situation. After all, how can you be mad at him if he's suicidal? Its a distraction for him from the real issue. And the real issue here is this - He cares for you, but he likes his friend. He doesn't want to hurt either of you. But that's a selfish choice. Really, what he's saying is "please don't think I'm a bad guy, I don't want to be the bad guy". I think there is more here than he is letting on. You sound very young, so I know its hard for kids your age to just be brutally honest, but you need to sit down with him and be as honest as you can. Try your best not to be emotional. Be calm, be reasonable, make sense. Ask him, calmly, if he needs some time apart to explore his feelings for his friend. You have to be willing to give him the space to do that if he says yes. It will hurt, but in the end it will all work out for the best. He may say he needs space and then realize that you're the one he TRULY wants when you're apart. You never know. But start by asking him if he needs space. And assure him that you don't want him to feel guilty or bad, you only want the truth, because that's what you deserve. I think you'll learn a whole lot more about him and his feelings depending on the way he answers the question. Good Luck.
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For about three weeks my vagina has been very itchy and irritated. I figured it was just irritated from sex so I would often use this cream that I had used from a previous yeast infection. Well, the irritation contiued and then I discovered I had a light greenish discharge, but not all the time. I used a yeast infection test and it said I had a yeast infection. I inserted the medicine for the yeast infection on two days ago but today I noticed the greenish discharge.
Is this just from the yeast infection or is it something that I should be worried about?
Thank you! (link)
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Your description of it as "greenish" makes me think it may be a little more than a yeast infection. Go see a doctor. You may need something a little stronger than an over the counter cream to knock this one out.
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hi im 16,im a female nd i am pregnant from my boyfrien which i have been with for four years. when i was 1 month pregnat he left to mexico but promised to come back nd im 6 months he calls me mostly everyday to see how im doing...nd i just got back from visiting him like a month ago. he wants me to go live in mexico with him because he has no passport or anything to cross the border so he would have to cross ellegaly but i dont want to because i want to finish high school here. and sometimes i just feel like not talking to him anymore to see if it makes him come sooner so should i still wait for him to see what he decides to do?
thanks for you time.!
(link)
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You are in a very difficult situation. You're a young girl and now you need to make adult choices. That's just the way it is. So I'll tell you what a responsible adult would do in this situation. An adult would finish what they started (in your case, high school). An adult would do what is best for the future of their unborn child. The best thing for your baby would be to have two parents who are planning a good, stable future. Its hard to be apart right now, but there are too many risks for your boyfriend to get here right now. I'm sure its not because he won't, he just can't come. So try not to take it out on him. What if he were deported or put in jail? What would you and your baby do then? Stay here, finish school. Let your boyfriend work on coming here LEGALLY, so he can be a father that can be a good example for his child, by obeying the law and working hard to get the things you all need. You got pregnant way too young. Now you are dealing with the harsh consequences of that decision. An adult accepts the consequences of their actions and pushes through the tough times in order to have a better future. I promise, you can make it through this. Once your baby comes you may have a better idea of what you need to do. For now, sit tight. Keep working on school, and don't put any more pressure on your boyfriend than he already has. I'm sure he hates being away from you just as much as you do (after all, he does call you every day, right?), but he has no choice. You can do this. It will be hard, but its the hard times that makes us who we are. I wish you the best. It seems impossible right now but I promise everything will clear up soon. A lot of things are going to change once your baby is born. Just be patient and see how you feel after that. Good luck!
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hello i have been knowing a guy for almost all my life and i truely believe i am in love with him. we dated all through junior high and we would have dated all through high school most likely if he didnt move away during 10th grade. Anyway that was 4 years ago and i thought that i moved on but we recently got back together and i still feel the same way about him that i did all those years ago. is this love or is it just a highschool crush that never got resolved? (link)
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Well, you'll never know unless you give a chance. Don't think too hard about it. Just let things unfold, see how it goes. Eventually you may discover that your highschool crush is nothing more than that, or you may find that your feelings are real. Either way, you'll have learned something important about yourself and you'll never have to wonder "what if". Relax and enjoy yourself. Good luck!
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I am the person who loves to be creative and unique. I like doing my own thing..as long as its different from everyone else. But A LOT of people tend to copy me. From buying the same outfits as me..to..copying my profiles, quotes, ideas, etc. I know it's supposed to be a compliment. But like i said, i just like being original and dont want anyone copying me or ripping off my stuff. Any suggestions on how I should deal with this? (link)
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Imitation is the highest form of flattery.
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This has been a busy week for me and today I got ready to go for dinner, on the wrong day! I’m a hard working busy high school student and usually I turn down these things but I was like, “Hey why not! I’m anti-social and for once I’m going to give it a try.” But things didn’t turn out as planned and I couldn't get a drive home at all and spent like a long time getting dressed up! A nice lady working at the hotel offered to drive me home.
I was stressing for school and I have these entire deadline to meet this week and on the invite I thought it said today Tuesday but it's actually next week Tuesday and I just feel ashamed and embarrassed.
I'm forever thankful of the lady that offered to drive me home but I'll feel so embarrassed when i see her there again next week (she's a clerk). And I'm not letting my efforts today go to waste so I'll just re-wear the whole outfit next week.
But I've wasted 4 hours (almost 2 hours waiting outside for a ride in the cold) of my time when if it wasn't for my stupidity I could have gotten one of my projects completed! People make mistakes but, I just can’t seem to focus on anything because the only thing I keep hearing in my head is STUPID STUPID STUPID and I'm going to be haunted by it for a week and I just feel so humiliated! Is there anything at all that I can do to get away from this? It's so depressing. (link)
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You need to forgive yourself. This won't be the last time you have a "senior moment"! That's life! Don't be so serious about it. This is a funny story! So instead of keeping it to yourself in case you are humiliated, tell someone! Make it a funny story. "Oh, you'll never guess what I did last week....thank goodness for the nice lady at the hotel. Geez, I'm such a space cadet sometimes!" You'll be surprised how much less embarrassment you feel when you tell it in a humorous way. And you'll be even more surprised when others will be inspired to start telling you THEIR embarrassing stories. As for the lady at the hotel. No need to be ashamed. Bring a little thank you note with you. If you see her, smile and bring her the card and say "Thank you for your help last week. Would you believe I actually had the WRONG day! Gosh, I felt so dumb!" Again, I bet you'll get encouragement and not humiliation. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Simple mistake. But you can turn it into an asset by letting it become a "story" in your little bag of stories you'll inevitably need to pull out in social situations as you get older. Its OKAY! This is a funny thing, not a stupid thing. Embrace that and move on. And enjoy the dinner.
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19/female.
So I'm currently in my second year of college but I have a good friend who i've known for like 5 years now in high school and he's graduating this year. Well me and him have always had a strange realtionship, we're more than friends but not in a relationship. Anyways I feel obligataed to go to his grad party but there will be so many people from his high school (he went to a different one than i did) because he is a popular jock. he plays football hockey and baseball so basically everyone from his school will be there hahaa and I just think it would be awkward for me becasue I won't know anyone and I feel like all the girls will be staring at me like whose this girl and his ex girlfriend who he is still close with will be there obviously and it's just awkward for me with her there too. He's my cousins next door neighbor so i'd know my cousin and I'd probably bring my friend that this guy knows, but I still really don't want to go. Me and her would be sitting there by ourselves bascially while everyone talks and we feel awkward. He'd be so mad at me if I didn't go so I know I will have to go at least for a little bit because I'm going for HIM but how can I make it so I don't feel so awkward because you know how high school girls are - judgemental. Any suggestions?? (link)
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Until you make it up in your mind that you don't care what other people think of you, you're always going to feel awkward. But if you go in there with the idea that you're there to support your friend and have a nice time no matter what, most people will respect that eventually. And you'll have a friend there, so you'll have someone to talk to and keep you company. Just make a plan to pop in for 30 minutes. Surely you can handle a half hour. Then, if its not so bad, you can leave. But if its too weird, well, you've said your hellos and socialized a bit and you can leave knowing you did your part. Good luck.
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My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. He was going through a depression and cut off all connections with everyone. He says he needed time alone and that he was no longer happy with anything. First he stopped talking to his best friend. Then all other friends, then he broke up with me. I tried to still be there for him and told him to call me whenever he needed me. But after a couple of weeks of roller coaster emotions and not being sure if he was going to call or not, i decided to end the whole thing. He kept telling me that he will come back one day and that I just need to be strong and move on for now. So thats what I told him that I needed to move on and not to call me anymore unless things were going to be different. he told me he didn't know if he loved me anymore. because he doesn't know how he feels about anything anymore. He said that his depression was getting worse and needed to find jesus. So we said our finally goodbyes last week and haven't talk since
-Other details:
we were really in love and didn't have a bad relationship. Even planned marriage
he was in a depression when we were both in freshman year. He stopped talking to all of friends then too and then later regretted it and tried to get back in contact with them a year later when we started dating.
we are both seventeen and are in our junior year of high school. We were together 9 months but have know each other for 4 years. We liked each other freshmen year but he became very depressed because he was backstabbed by his friends and his first love cheated on him. He cut off all connections with everyone at school then to. He moved schools our 10th grade year. We didnt talk all school year but I texted him out the blue during summer and we began to have a relationship. He tried to get back in contact with the friends he cut off because he regretted doing that to them.
I REALLY MISS HIM AND IN YOUR OPINION DO YOU THINK WE WILL EVER TALK AGAIN?
he was my best friend and i was his. We talked about everything
Please do not tell me i need to just move on. Because i am doing that. When i am ready to date again. I will do so. But I just really want him in my life again... .. or do you think it would be weird if i wait a couple of months give him his space... then call him to check on him?
i will do anything to have him in my life again... even if its just as friends
& please excuse any misspelled words and my grammar I wrote this in a rush..Thank you in advanced (link)
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From what I've read here, I believe, if you give it some time and space, you will be in each other's lives again. But your ex is sick right now, and he needs to get better. Good for him for recognizing that and caring enough about you to cut you loose before he really hurt you. It hurts, I know, but you're going to have to give this one some time. Just think of how much more fun it will be to be around him when he is feeling better in his mind and his spirit. But dragging this relationship out by staying in constant touch will hurt his efforts to get well by keeping one foot in the past. So, as hard as it may be, back of for a little while. Try to fill your time with other distractions. If you don't have one already, start a journal. Its a great way to express your feelings privately and it will help relieve some of the pressure. I have a good feeling about this if you do this right. Even though I don't know you I can tell this is all going to work out for the best in the end. You just have to be patient.
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I just broke up with my long-distance boyfriend 2 days ago because I couldn't handle the distance. I really do still love him, and I'm not handling the break up well.
We decided mutually to be friends, but it's not really working. He's being unusually mean to me (which is to be expected I guess, since it's only been 2 days). This is too hard on me, and every time I end a call with him I end up crying. My feelings for him are still strong, but I do want to stick with my decision. Today we planned to chat at a certain time, and it's about 2 hours past & he's nowhere to be found.
My question is: should I cut off all contact? I really would like to be friends, but I can tell it is clearly going to take me some time. Also, if I do decide to cut all contact..should I tell him or just do it?
Btw, I'm leaning more towards the 'just doing it' option, without telling him, because after I talk to him it usually leaves me wanting to talk to him again. If I just stop contact, I won't have a chance to talk to him first. My only concern with this option is that when I am ready to be friends (maybe a month or so down the line), he won't want to speak with me/be my friend because I did the no contact thing without telling him. Ahh, please any advice would help!! I just want to be happy again. Thank you.
(link)
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Its admirable that you still want to be friends. However, its unrealistic to think that will happen right away. You guys are still emotionally attached. You need to go with your instincts on this one and cut off all contact. Its the only way the two of you will be able to heal. He's being so mean right now because he's hurting. He will probably calm down with a little time and space. So quit the calls and emails. They're really not helping. Now, as to just doing it or telling him ahead of time, my thinking is just do it. He obviously doesn't really want to be in contact with you right now. He may not even say anything. But you know the situation better than I do. You may think its better to let him know. If you do, just send an email explaining that you don't want to hurt him any more than you already have, but you see that being in contact is making things worse for the both of you. Tell him you won't be calling him or emailing him for a few months, and ask him to do the same. Listen, he's going to be hurt. It can't be avoided. The best thing you can do for him is treat him fairly and the FAIR thing is to give him time to heal. Good luck.
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It's been a year since I met someone on an online dating site. It started off with a nice friendship, which got stronger and stronger and eventually, I started to develop feelings for him, and he gave me strong signals that indicated the same thing. Eventually, we decided to meet in person. I went to meet him, and we had a wonderful evening, which ended with him kissing me and us sleeping in the same bed together (intimate, but nothing involving me actually "sleeping with him")...we did the same thing the next day, but after that, he rarely spoke to me, which I told myself was due to him being very busy at work, but deep down, I knew he was avoiding me...then he got a girlfriend and basically vanished. I know it sounds strange, considering we met only once, and only previously talked through e-mails and online chat but I felt very, VERY strongly for him, AND as I said, he had given me *very strong* indications that he was interested in me...especially our first meeting...so of course, I felt confused, betrayed, used and very angry...it's been almost 6 months, and I can't seem to find complete closure. I still can't listen to certain music or watch certain films, or read certain books without getting very sad...I know I will probably never see him again, and I'm not sure I even want to. I want *so* badly to believe that he didn't just use me, but I know he probably did...I want to move on and find closure, but I still can't seem to mend my heart completely... (link)
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Maybe he wasn't really using you. Maybe, just like the movie, "he's just not that into you". Maybe you met and had a nice time together, and when you parted, he realized maybe the same chemistry wasn't there that you had before. Sometimes a very passionate affair via email and Internet can fizzle out in person. Something about being separated adds to intrigue. Its obvious this guy has moved on, and it most likely had more to do with his own needs than who you are. But you still need closure. You need to close the door on that chapter so you can open another one. So sit down and write him a letter. You will never send him this letter. You will never email him the letter. This letter is for you only. To express yourself, ask questions and say goodbye. It sounds cheesy, but it will help, I promise. It gives you an outlet for your feelings and simulates talking to him without having to contact him. You may never get answers to your questions, and that's ok. You need to be ok with that. But you can at least express how you feel. So write the letter, then do something symbolic to destroy it. Burn it, put it in a bottle and throw it out to sea, rip it into a million little pieces. The idea is that you're letting go of the pain that the letter represents. Then chalk this one up to one of life's experiences and move forward in your life. Good Luck.
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