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The One Guy I Should Have Never Let Go...Please help asap!!
So, long story short..(Well, I'll try my best). I dated my ex for about 6-7 months when I was 16-17. I broke up with him because we were fighting and we didn't know how to talk it out and he kept pissing me off.
Few weeks later, I told him I made a mistake and we were going to casually date and just see how things goes. Well, then he started dating a friend of mine (we are no longer friends) and they broke up.
I am now 19 years old and he is 20. I messaged him probably about 4-5 months ago to see how he was doing. I don't know if I loved him, but I know I did have strong feelings for him. He was my one mistake. So after telling him how I felt, he would come up with every excuse in the book why we couldn't hang out. I know he was just getting over his ex and wasn't expecting anything from him but he thought otherwise. I guess I understand.
So one night, I just up and asked him if he had feelings for me. He nicely explained that he did and quote "You fool me once, shame on you..you fool me twice, shame on me." I explained to him that I wouldn't hurt him and that we were just kids when we did date and didn't know how to talk it out. Well, I guess I had that one coming.
Well, that was months ago. I haven't talked to him since. I know he's going through a rough time with his family, both of his parents are ill and everything else is put on his shoulders.
Out of the blue, he messages me on facebook and we talked til 3:30 this morning. I'm not even kidding. I recently lost my grandmother and with my mom having a hard time with it (which I understand) I just been kinda down in the dumps if you know what I mean. Talking to him last night made me so happy. He has always been a person I could talk about anything to.
So, anyways we were talking/flirting/etc. And a couple of hours in he says "Hey, I just want to apologize for what I said the last time we talked." And I said "What did you say?" And he says "About me not having feelings for you anymore, I feel like it hurt you and I apologize." And I said "Don't worry about it. :)" And I was kinda wanting to drop the subject and he says "I just wanted to apologize." So, I said "No, thank you for telling me the truth. You have nothing to apologize for, but thank you for saying that. It wasn't needed but thank you."
Well, something along the lines of that. I just played it cool.
Well, when he said that, it kinda felt like he was making sure I knew that. And he probably meant it that way. So we kept talking for hours. We asked what favorite romance movie was and he said Top Gun. I said "I haven't seen it." He was shocked and I just told him to bring it over sometime. Well, luckily today...he doesn't have college classes or work. I get out of class around 10:30ish. And I told him to bring it by today so I could see it.
Nothing's going to happen between us. And I'm glad he messaged me last night, it kinda made my day. He is a wonderful person. And I know I still have feelings for him. He was the one person I shouldn't have let go. But I learned better, right? Lol.
I don't know, I asked him why he messaged me and he just said "What, I can't talk to you?" And I said "Well, we haven't talked in months..." He changed it to where just because he hasn't talked to someone in awhile doesn't mean he can't talk to them. I told him I didn't mind but I wanted to know why the change all of a sudden.
I guess I'm trying to ask why do YOU think he messaged me? When we dated, he loved me. I think I strong feelings for at the time. Like I said, I don't know if I loved him, but I do I did have feelings for him. We did not lose our virginities to eachother, so it's not that. The most we ever did was oral sex.
I guess I'm confused and I'm not getting my hopes up because even if I can't have him as my boyfriend, I want him as a friend. He's a great guy and I don't want to lose him again...Losing him as a friend 3 times kinda sucked. I don't want to do that again.
So what do you guys think of the situation? And I'm sorry it's so long but it's so complicated!! If I have any updates if he comes over, I'll add it. Thankss in advance. :)
-Ginguhh
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I think you shouldn't think about it so much, relax, and just let things take their natural course. Enjoy the movie, enjoy the guy, and enjoy the thrill of knowing anything can happen when you leave your heart open.
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