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For What It's Worth!
Gender: Male
Age: 34
Member Since: July 21, 2006
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Last Update: February 28, 2017
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Sabine
Ok here's the thing, I no I'm not a lesbian because I get turned on by guys and I love to "hook up" with them, but I do things with girls and I get just as turned on... I don't like dating girls I just like having sexual incounters with them... I think it is a stupid question but I wanna know.


--Syd (link)
If you enjoy sexual intimacy with both male and female partners, then that's pretty much the definition of "bisexual." So, yes, that does mean that you're bi.

As for why you prefer dating guys to girls, that's really not that surprising. Our society is pretty much based on the idea of men and women forming couples, and that includes the dating scene. It is simply a lot EASIER for a hetero couple to date and have a good time together than it is for a same-sex couple. Consider: if it were possible for you to date another girl, hold hands with her in public, do a little limited PDA, send and receive flowers, and everything else WITHOUT any social stigma, might the idea be more appealing? I'm guessing it probably would.

So, in a nutshell: if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's a duck! If you like sexual encounters with either gender, you're bi!

Remember, though, that's just a label. It's not an identity. You get to decide when and how it applies to you.


Over the summer I was in a relationship with an older man, and while I was away serving with my church...my dad found my cell phone bill and called my guy. My dad basically said that my guy should never talk to me again. Do you think that this was right for my father to do?

Thanks,
Jenn (link)
It depends on how old you are. If you are over 18 and an independent adult, then it's none of his business and he acted wrongly. If you are still a minor and part of his household, then he has a duty (both legal and moral) to protect you.

He probably could have handled it better, but if you were keeping it a secret from him, he probably suspects that there is some reason why you think he would not approve.

Whatever you do now, keep in mind that he's acting out of love. It is your right to question his actions, but do not question the motives.


AH! People on this site who ask for help frustrate me. Not all people do this but several do. Advice is where people from all different points of view give the honest answer they think even if it's brutal. Yet when some people do give honest answers, the questioner, who doesn't like the answer, decides to give a 1 for not getting a sugar coated answer. If we all said "Yeah, you're right, this and that" blah blah than those arn't advice...so I guess I'm asking why do people do that and is there any way to clarify to people that advice is not always sugar coated and that giving a 1 because they don't like the answer is just a;skljga;lkjg? (link)
The solution is simple: Don't attach any importance to your ratings.

I happen to have a fairly decent average, which I am grateful for, but when I give advice it is not with my eventual rating in mind. I give it because it feels good to help people, and if they don't want to be helped... that's unfortunate, but I'm generally more concerned with the fact that they're sabotaging themselves than with a poor rating. The ONLY time I ever reported one of my ratings was when my answer was a matter of fact rather than opinion, and it was rated low because it wasn't what the questioner wanted to hear.

And, of course, we must always bear in mind that perhaps we occasionally deserve the low ratings. It may be an uncomfortable truth that WE need to hear.


why do guys think lesbian action is so hot? why do they get turned on when girls touch each other and stuff? yet im a girl and i think its gross when guys touch each other/makeout.. i dont get it (link)
There are many reasons, some of which are universally true, and some of which depend on the guy:


1: MORE IS BETTER

Simple math - if one girl is good, two is better. This one definitely falls under the "universally true" banner.


2: ACTION WITHOUT MEN

The problem with male/female erotic imagery for many straight guys is that the men get in the way; we don't particularly want to see them! If it's a women-only event, that problem is eliminated.


3: WOMEN KNOW WHAT WOMEN WANT

Men sometimes imagine (and perhaps with some justification) that women can satisfy each other sexually far above and beyond what we poor males are capable of - and that being the case, lesbian women enjoy sex more than their straight counterparts. For most men, there is nothing more exciting than a woman who enjoys sex. Therefore, lesbians are exciting. This theory is in direct contradiction to...


4: THEY JUST NEED A MAN

A man sees two women getting it on, getting hot, and knows that if they only knew what a man felt like, they'd be twice as hot for him. I should mention that this is, of course, only true in Fantasyland; in real life, most of us are smart enough to know that it doesn't work that way.


5: THE TEASE

Like it or not, when it comes to lesbian sex, a man can never really participate - he can only watch. By definition, if he gets involved, it's hetero. And therein lies the ultimate tease.


6: FORBIDDEN PLEASURES

Any sex act that society considers deviant or taboo becomes that much more exciting.


As for the difference with men and women, insofar as why men like to see women getting it on but the reverse usually isn't true... I can only repeat what I've heard. Studies have shown that many straight women ALSO get aroused by images of lesbians. The suggested reason for this is that when men view an erotic image, they imagine themselves JOINING the person or people in the scene. Women, however, tend to IDENTIFY with one of the people in the scene. Therefore, men see two women getting it on, and think about joining them; women see it, and think about becoming one of them - and since they see a woman who is excited, it makes them feel the same way. On the other hand, if a woman sees two men in sexual contact, there is no one she can identify with, and so it doesn't work for her.


i just downloaded Gimp and i have NO idea how to use it!! does anyone know how to make layouts or icons? or a website that will teach me how and is easy to understand.

rate 5 for good answers =] (link)
I typed "using GIMP" into Google and got a number of good results. The most comprehensive manual seems to be the one on the official site:

http://docs.gimp.org/en/

If you prefer, there is an actual book you can buy:

"Grokking the GIMP"
http://gimp-savvy.com/BOOK/index.html


I bought an older computer with Windows 95 on it. I took it and Formatted and partitioned it successfully using a Windows 98SE boot disc.But when it comes time to setup,it just won't do it. It keeps telling me it's a bad command. Is there something else I should be typing in there?
Thanks,Cujo (link)
Boy, it's been a while since I installed 98SE!

Make sure you formatted the drive using FAT and not NTFS. If you used Fdisk to do it, then that part shouldn't be a problem.

You should be able to boot to the CD to install Windows 98SE. If you're not getting the option to boot to the CD, try adjusting the settings in the BIOS. To do this, you'll have to hit a key on startup; every computer is different, so you'll have to look at the screen to see what to hit (on DELL machines, it's F2; on some others, it's F10 or the delete key). Once you're in the BIOS, make sure that the computer is set to boot from the CD and not the hard drive. Oh - and make sure you have the floppy disk removed, or it will go there first.

Here is a very useful website with instructions for many different ways of installing Windows 98:

http://www.windows98.windowsreinstall.com/

One word of warning: Windows 98SE is NOT a secure operating system. If you use it for internet, you can count on downloading viruses and spyware that you will not be able to remove. Make absolutely sure you have no critical information on the computer, like a social security number or a credit card, and do not use the computer for making purchases over the internet. If you want a secure OS, you will need to go to Windows 2000.


ok i have a nokia 6101 with t-mobile and im trying to send a picture from my phone to my email address and it keeps saying message sending failed or something like that...why is this happening? could it be that im sending too many pictures? in the past week ive sent 5 to my computer this is my 6th...can someone please help me! thank you very much xox (link)
It could be a number of reasons. As an IT guy, here is how I would go about diagnosing it.

(1) Is your e-mail box full? Pictures are large files, and you may have reached the limit on your inbox.

(2) Is there a problem on the sending end? Try sending a message to another address that you can check, like a friend's.

(3) Can you send any kind of E-mail to your address, whether it has a picture attached or not? Maybe there's some reason that your e-mail can't receive.

(4) In IT circles, we use the acronym CTSS - Check The Stupid Stuff. Are you spelling it right? Are you remembering to attach the picture to the message? Are you sending the right file? Many times, the solution is so simple, we later kick ourselves for having missed it.

All these things are possible solutions, but I'm betting it's #1 on the list, especially if you've successfully sent five pictures already.



Ok..I'm a redhead 15/F and i really like this guy. Well he seemed to be diggen me or whatever soo one night i texted to see if he wanted to do something tom. He texted me back and said he is not attracted to redheads and that if i like him more than that than its not gonna work because he doesnt like me. I was heart broken. I mean red hair is kind of rare and i mean im not ugly at all..and i dont have the pale skin like one either. I look a little different but still i have red hair. My question is..in your opinion is red hair ugly and why dont guys like red hair? (link)
This guy is displaying remarkable immaturity and idiocy. It's got nothing to do with how he happens to feel about red hair; for him to dismiss an entire group of women based on a single, unimportant physical trait is just plain stupid.

Some guys prefer certain hair color, eye color, skin color, etc. on girls. However, there are FAR more important qualities when it comes to dating someone. I'm not saying that looks count for nothing - obviously, they are important when it comes to first impressions and such. In the long run, though, these things do not and should not matter. Even in the short run, looks are less important than personality, intellect, and common interests.

All that having been said, rest assured that many men find red hair to be irresistible (I am one of them!). I like it in part because it is unusual - I find beauty in rare things, whether they be physical or part of someone's personality.

Please, try not to let the thoughtless words of this stupid jerk trouble you too much. If he is the sort of guy who chooses who to like based on the way they look, you are better off not being his eye-candy. It will be far more satisfying for you when you find a guy who likes you for your personality and character, and who sees your red hair as a bonus.


Just curious, is Sabine your wife? (link)
Yes, she is. How did you happen to piece it together? I don't think either of us ever mentioned it.


can they tell if u have aids in a normal blood test or do they need a special test to know . plz help (link)
They have to perform a specific test in order to find it; it's not something that they would just "happen to notice".


i have a group of really close friends we are all girls ages 13-14. we have known each other since we were 5. there are 5 of us and we are always together. we have never had serious relationhships with people we like and have been told we are intimadating to be takled to. we need your opinion. we all look pretty good and are sweet as can be, but is it intimating to guys to come up and talk to one girl while all her friends are around her? if you like a guy and wuold really like to get to know more about him adn let him know you like him without embarrassing you or him how could you do this. P.S. i am extremely shy, but all of us arent. please answer as soon as possible we've gone 13 years we need to know.

(link)
It is seriously intimidating for a guy to approach a girl among a group of friends and ask her out or do anything else along those lines. Guys don't want to get shot down, and it's infinitely worse if it happens in front of witnesses. Also, they don't want the presence of your friends to influence your answer, either positively or negatively. So, if you want to be asked out, set yourself up so that he'll be able to talk to you in relative privacy. You don't have to meet in a dark alley or anything like that, just try to make it so he can catch you by yourself for a few minutes.

As far as how you can approach a guy, I can only tell you what would have worked on me. Smile at him for no particular reason, stare at him and let him catch you doing it, "accidentally" brush his hand when you walk by, that kind of thing. How he responds to stuff like this will give you some clues on whether he's interested.

Shyness is something you'll need to get over if you want to attract guys you want to be with. A shy, quiet, intimidated girl is not generally one that guys will approach, because they will assume you don't want to talk to them or date them. You need to be sufficiently outgoing so that they get the message, "I'm interested in meeting people. I have something to talk about. If you go out with me, I won't spend the entire evening being silent and nervous; instead, we'll have a good time."


ok well im gonna be grounded probebly in a few days because i fail one of my finals (it really stinks) and what are some things i can do to entertain myself? i done think ill have phone, tv, computer and maybe music privlages. what can I do so that im not completely bored?? besides homework or cleaning. thanks (link)
This isn't going to be an answer you will like, but consider it anyway: Take the time to do a little reading up on whatever subject it was you failed the test on.

You might wonder, "Why should I do that? I've already failed the test - it's not like it'll do me any good to study for it now."

Reasons:

(1) The material could conceivably come up again on another test (this depends on what kind of class it is and whether you're going to continue with the subject).

(2) It may be worth learning for its own sake.

(3) There is a chance that you might be able to take a make-up test, especially if you can show the instructor that you have been studying with due diligence (however, if this was a college-level course, then this WON'T be an option).

(4) Your parents may insist that you do this anyway, so you may as well jump the gun.

(5) It beats staring at the walls.

Most Important Reason: Being grounded isn't about giving you motivation to find creative ways to entertain yourself - it's about forcing you to think about what you did wrong. If you actually use that time to try and correct the problem, it shows responsibility and maturity. Your parents will probably recognize this and give you early parole, so to speak.


I stumbled across this site by accident. I seriously doubt many of you have the qualifications to give real people proper advice. After reading some of your responses to people's inquiries i was quite astonished as to how teenagers find they are able to give quality advice and information to real people in need with such little life experience. If you ask me you are not in a place to give your "personal opinion" when people truly believe you are giving them the right answer simply because you claim "people think i give really good advice". (eg. i am still at a loss as to how a 17 year old girl thinks she can give advice to someone regarding conceiving a child) I know you try to come across as a "godsend" to poeple who are in some sort of personal crisis and need a fast easy answer but the truth is, in the cases where it really counts, there rarely is one; at least not from you. (link)
I am 34 years old. Not all of us are kids.

But that's irrelevant. All we are trying to do here is lend a listening ear and a helpful voice. Truth is not determined by the age of the person telling it; I've heard some pretty sage words from my five-year-old daughter. I acknowledge that I've seen some unwarranted egos in here, but very rarely do I actually see bad advice.

This is a website where people freely help other people. I can't think of many causes more noble than that. Do not presume to put these people down - they are doing far more good by giving their advice than you are by berating it.


Okay, so this 19yr old guy is a foreign exchange student from Germany (duh) Haha, anyways he's really cute and seems uber cool. I'm 14 btw. Anyways, I want to talk to him more but I don't know what. He's in my math and gym class but other than that, there's nothing much to go on. Any ideas of what I can say or do to get him to notice me? Don't lecture me about age difference!!! Haha, but he sucks at math and in gym, we have diff. teachers so we don't see each other much. (link)
Here's a way to get his attention: Learn to speak German. I guarantee he'll take notice.

And bear in mind, even if the age difference means nothing to you, it may mean a great deal to him. When I was nineteen, I wouldn't even have considered dating a 14-year-old, no matter what. He may feel much the same way.


16/f
OK well whenever I go to a sleepover, my friend and I always give eachother breat massages (she is also a female) under blankets and stuff. We aren't lesbians, we both have had boyfriends and like guys right now. However, this doesn't make me a lesbian right? And also, the same old rubbing of the breat gets boring, how can I make the breat massages better? (without making it too noticable that I am touching her breast?) (link)
The first thing you must do is learn how to actually spell the word "breast". It has an "s" in it.

Second - no, it doesn't make you a lesbian. Actions are not what determines sexuality; desire is. So if you find yourself sexually aroused by the idea or the act of rubbing your friend's breasts, then there is some part of you that finds lesbian activity to be a turn-on. But you can find some pleasure in touching another girl without having to define yourself as a lesbian.

You seem to be in a certain amount of denial here about something, though. Your message is peppered with things that make me think you're trying to dance around the idea that you really do enjoy doing this. For instance, you say that you both like guys "right now"; which begs the question, do you foresee sometime in the future when you will actually prefer women?

You say that it gets boring after a while. Well, for my own part, when I get bored doing something I generally stop doing it. I can't help but think that there's some reason you keep it up even though it's repetitious.

You want to make the massages better, but without making it too noticeable that you're touching her breasts? Heck, if you can figure out a way of touching someone's breast without her knowing about it, every horny guy in the world will pay you whatever you want for the secret!

But seriously, what do you mean by "better"? It really depends on what you're both getting out of this, which means it's time to admit whether it's sexual or not. If it's not sexual, then I'd say the best thing to do would be to try rubbing her shoulders or other things besides the breasts, because then it's more of an all-over massage which is enjoyable on many levels. However, if it IS about sexuality and you can bring yourself to admit that, then... well, use your imagination. And your lips.

I think you and your friend need to have a little talk about this, and find out what you're both getting out of it and whether it's a good idea to continue. The fact is, even if you aren't a lesbian, there's a chance she is one - and you'll need to deal with that at some point.


Finally, I feel the need to point out that in all honesty I'm not sure I totally believe you. I think there is a possibility that you've written the above question just to see what kind of responses you'll get. However, I'm giving an honest answer anyway, because you may be telling the truth and there may be other girls (or guys) who have similar concerns about their own sexuality.


well im a bit confused about things..well there is this guy at school that likes me right and he asked me you and i had said yes.....well i do like him too but the day after he asked me out i had to tell him that i wasnt really ready for a realtionship becuase of wat had happend to me in the past and know i realize how nice and carring this guy really is and i regret it....what should i do in this case.. should i talk to him or tell him the way i feel about him? (link)
There's a limit to how much you can play yo-yo with his feelings. You should only talk to him if you're prepared to accept his invitation to go out with you - otherwise, it's best to leave things alone. He probably doesn't want to hear anything like "It's not you, it's me" or "I'm not ready for commitment." He just wants to hear yes or no, and if the answer's no, he's already heard it and to say it again would be rubbing salt in the wound.

If you DO want to change your mind, then you will need to do a little explaining. Tell him that you are feeling confused and a little scarred from your past relationships (how many details you give him about that is up to you). Be up front and candid that he'll need to be a little patient with you and that it may prove difficult for you to show trust right at first. If he's a decent enough guy, he'll give you a chance. It will then be up to you to give HIM a chance, and remember that he doesn't represent what happened to you in the past, but what can happen in the future.

Good luck!


e has not had much experience when it comes to dating. The only other girl friend that he was ever had only lasted 12 hours. There were two other girls that he went on dates with but never actually hooked up with as a boyfriend. I was the first real girl friend he has ever had a relationship with but his parents have had a problem with every girl that he has dated, including me. The first time that I had noticed that they were going to be a problem was on weekend that I had stayed at their house with Mike. Mike went hunting and no one else was there but his mother and I. We were talking while he was gone but the next day Mike said i'll be right back. He was gone so long that I just assumed that he went to the store or something. He came back and he said that we needed to talk. His father had talked to him about me and told him about what I had discussed with his mother but everything was highly exaggerated. Another thing was that I had told his mother that I was going to have to get use to him being gone when he went to Afghanistan(he's in the Army) but some how that lead his father to ask him if we were engaged and he said that we were moving too fast. We had been together for 9 months. I tried to give the benefit of the doubt at first but I wondered how the things that I was saying was a big enough of a deal to go from me to his mother to his father to mike and back to me except the story was changed by the time it got back to me. I told him what had really gone on but he tried to assure me that it was his father that was up to that and making it a big deal but his father was not even home when the conversations took place so it must have been a big enough of a deal to be repeated in the first place.

I noticed very quickly that his mother was the kind of person who would act just as nice as could be when it was just the two of you but then once there was an audience she would be very rude. She seems to do this to everyone except for her husband and second son, whom Mike claims is the favorite. I also noticed that every time I saw her, she was always talking about how she told so and so off, usually about how they had done something unintelligent and she was smarter than them or how dumb someone else was.

Later on in our relationship as I had gotten to know his family better, they continued to stretch or shrink the truth about something that I had said or did and then his father would fuss at Mike about it.

His mother seemed to lighten up on the rudeness when she found out that I was pregnant however did not stop with talking bad about me. I felt like my wedding day was ruined because at our reception his parents were complaining about how I was behaving with my side of the family(I was actually being my self because when I am around his parents I am usually quiet because of my learned lesson and because all they talk about is guns, the military,the weather, their jobs, and people that I don't know) and told Mike that he needed to fix it. Mike would make a point to make sure that I got near his parents enough for them to hear him fuss at me. I calmed down some just to be nice but it still wasn't enough. He just kept taking me "aside"(which means near his parents) to fuss about my behavior. I got mad. We ended up fighting when it was just him, the photographer and I. He said that his parents were fussing about it but that he was sorry because he agreed with me about how I should be aloud to be my self at my own wedding reception but once the pictures were done he started back with the fussing in front of his parents. This bothered me so much. Not only did my new in-laws not like me, but I got into a fight with my husband on our wedding day at the reception! My behavior was unacceptable but it was okay for his parents to bring cases of beer to my dry wedding and for his father to leave 4 beer cans under his seat from the wedding ceremony! Not only that but made what they call a "Better than Sex Cake" and tell everyone, including children the title of the cake. I feel that they should have just called it a cake and that their behavior at my wedding and reception was inappropriate. Not only that, but even when planning the wedding, there were a few things that I had suggested that he didn't like but once his mother suggested it, it was a great idea. I didn't even get to have the kind of wedding that we had always talked about because he was too afraid of what his parents would think.

Now we have been married for 5 months and his parents were constantly trying to pry into our marriage and control how things were done between the two of us. They are also always criticizing the kind of wife I am however they have never came over here just to visit. The only times that they have ever been here was when they were bringing the rest of Mike's stuff from their house and his last living arrangement(the barracks) and one time when his mother gave me a ride to the doctor but she was only inside for a minute when she came to pick me up. His father only came over once when they were bringing stuff over so how could they possibly know how good or bad of a wife that I am? When we go to their house or when Mike talks to them on the phone they are always criticizing me for something, even if they have to turn nothing into something by making something that wouldn't normally be bad into terrible or making something up. Mike says that his father is the only one that does it but his phone is so loud that I can hear what is being said on both ends, even if I am not even right next to him. Sometimes he likes his father but sometimes not but of course he is in love with his mother because she's "perfect".

He kept telling me not to say anything because he was scared that they would get mad but I could not take it anymore. He had just told me another lie that his mother had told about me(she always says that I did or said something that is a lie when I see her and Mike is not around) and was criticizing me to Mike over the phone. This time he had finally told me that she had said it. I think it was the first time. But I couldn't hold it inside any longer, I had to confront them. I was going to call her but Mike refused to listen to the conversation and I didn't want him to be hearing more lies so I decided to text message her so that I could have proof of exactly what I said. At first I was going to be pretty rude about how they need to mind they're own business but Mike told me not to say that so I erased that. He told me to just ask them what they're problem with me is and that's exactly what I did. I text messaged her from my phone but instead of texting me back, she called Mike's phone and fussed at him because I asked her that but once he started talking to me, I could tell that he was on the phone with her because he started acting like he was mad again because she could hear him, even though I did exactly what he told me to do. So he gave me the phone and I tried to be polite but she just kept being rude to me and saying that I needed to be more specific but almost every single sentence I tried to say, she would interrupt(which meant that she had an audience and was trying to act like I couldn't tell her what I meant and therefore, she would look as though she had done nothing wrong and I just wanted to fuss at someone.) and she kept saying that I was raising my voice when I was not. I finally started to be a less polite, not as mean as I wanted to be but not kissing the butt. I told her that Mike does tell me the bad things that they say about me(which actually he always claims that it was his dad even though I often over heard his mother doing it) and that it didn't matter how good or bad of a wife I am it's none of their business. That's pretty much all that I could say because his mother because she would not stop interrupting. Eventually his dad snatched the phone from his mother in the middle of her sentence and told me to let him talk to Mike. So his father fussed at him about how he needed to set me straight, be the man in the relationship and take control over me(but this was not the first time his father has ever said that to him). I kept asking to get the phone back but Mike wouldn't give it to me. His mom go back on the phone and talked more trash about me and he just acted like he was on their side and I was wrong for asking what the problem was and then for "being mean" to his mother even though he told me what to say. She got off the of the phone before I got a chance to talk again and he told me not to call back).

He just kept claiming that I was wrong and saying that I should have been polite. I said that he shouldn't tell me who was being rude and who was not when he was on the other side of the apartment because he didn't want to hear the conversation. He slipped up and said that he could hear some of what she was saying back that and I told him that it just confirmed that she was yelling. His phone is loud, but not loud enough to hear what someone else is saying on the other side of the apartment if the person is talking with a regular volume. But still, he continues to tell me how wrong I was. One day the next week, he finally said that I was right, that he does let them walk all over him and that he was going to put a stop to it but never really followed through. He keeps making it out like I am the one who doesn't want to work things out(the whole point of asking what their problem with me was was to understand what they thought I was doing wrong and to see their point of view.) but they have never called me or came by to try to work it out and I keep bringing that up. However he just keeps saying that it was only one time(which is more than they have ever tried) and that I needed to try more to work things out. To him, this is all my fault and I should just let them do whatever they want. It really frustrates me because he used to tell me to talk to them but stop me everytime I told him that I would. Now he is mad at me because I told him that he could spend Christmas with them but I am not going, I will be seeing mine instead. I do not want to get into a fight especially when his brother, sister, neices and nephews will be there but I cannot take any more of their control and criticisms. It is causing problems in our marriage but he does not seem to care.

So how can I get this mama's boy to see my point of view sometimes instead of him defending his mother like I just tried to kill her. He acts like she's God but it would be nice for my husband to not be against me sometimes.

(link)
Bottom line is, your husband owes you support. If he continuously allows himself to be influenced (or bullied) by his parents and never takes your side, then he is a bad husband. To be brutally honest with you, I think it was a mistake for you to marry him.

As it now stands, your marriage is in jeopardy. It cannot last under these circumstances. If you want to save it, you will need to get into counseling and really work through this problem.

If you do decide to end it, then bear in mind that he and his parents have a history of bad-mouthing you or telling outright lies, and they will not hesitate to do so before a judge. If you suspect that a divorce is in your future, start documenting your side of things now. Keep a journal (obviously, make sure he doesn't find it!) and write down the occasions upon which he fails to support you or puts you down. Keep a record of how often his parents call and how much of the conversation is about what a lousy wife you've been. It will be painful, but it will also help your case. Get an attorney lined up for yourself now, if this is the path you intend to take.

Consider this: according to the timeline you've given above, there either is or soon will be a baby in the picture. If you think it's been tough having Mike and his parents loudly disapprove of you as a wife, imagine what it will be like when they start casting doubt on you as a mother. I can almost guarantee that your child will become a pawn in this game, so for his/her sake if not for your own, start taking steps to either save your marriage or end it. You will NEVER gain his parents' approval, and you can't go on this way.


hey well i have my boyfriend(thomas) and we go to the same school and all but we like never talk. i feel like were just friends i havent kissed him or anything we've only hold hands once and we have been going out for a month and 8 days and i just dont know wat to do should i give it more time and maybe things will change or should i just break up wiht him and the worst thing is that we are going to christmas break today and i wont c him till three weeks so i dont know wat to do some one help me pls... (link)
Some guys don't want to appear as too aggressive in a relationship, so they overcompensate by not making any move at all unless you initiate it. Thomas may be one of those guys.

However, he's really being extraordinarily distant. To go out with someone for over a month and still not have kissed is pretty unusual. It wouldn't be so bad if your relationship were progressing in other ways, but if he's not talking to you either, then what have you got?

You need to sit down with him and tell him what you want out of a boyfriend, which will probably include conversation, emotional connection, and at least a little physical intimacy. If he's unable or unwilling to provide it, then end it. No need for hard feelings - it's just not working, and that's all there is to it.

It's your choice insofar as whether to have this conversation before or after the holidays. It would probably be better to do it before, but if you suspect that it will be very painful for either or both of you, then perhaps it can wait.


This really cute guy kissed me 4 months ago out of blue. We've been friends for a while, and I always have crash on him. After the day he kissed me, he didn't talk to me for 4 months. (neither email or any form of communication)
Now, we start to talk through emails, but he acts as nothing ever happened. What does this mean? What's going on? What do I do? (link)
The only thing you can do is ask him, straight up, if that kiss meant anything to him and why he avoided you afterwards. He might have gotten the impression, somehow, that it was unwelcome - and is therefore feeling guilty about it. He may also think that you have been avoiding him. He may have a crush on you, but after that one moment's bravado he's scared to pursue it further. Or he might be gay.

Clear the air. If the two of you are or have been friends, you should be able to. And forgive his confused feelings, if that's all it was.


15/f

Is there any way to make me look more feminme?
I have issues with my appearance. I want to look like a GIRL.

I want to feel confident. But I don't think I look like a girl.. Every other girl looks beautiful. To me, I'm not a girl but I'm not even a boy. I have no gender in my eyes?

People have said that short hair fits me perfectly but I don't think my face.. would work with it. I have a boyish features yeah?

Pictures--
http://i17.tinypic.com/2qwft3c.png

http://i13.tinypic.com/4bnyoat.png

I'm growing out my hair.
I just want a new look but I don't know what to do.

Nobody calls me ugly or that I look like a boy (they did before- due to uberrrr short hair)
It's just me.. (link)
35/m

First of all, let me acknowledge that I am old enough to be your father, so rest assured that what I'm saying is not in the context of whether I would date you myself - I'm rather more attracted to women twice your age. :) On the other hand, I'm also a professional photographer who specializes in high school events such as Proms and Homecoming dances, as well as studio portraiture, so I've seen a LOT of girls your age at a time when they're made up to look their best. Therefore, consider the analysis below as a professional one.


I don't see boyish features in your face, to be totally honest. I think your eyes are quite feminine, and the dark (almost black) color gives you a mysterious, smoldering look.

You have very full lips as well, to the point that if you were to wear makeup I would caution you to use a subtle lip color so that they didn't stand out too much. This is also a very feminine trait.

As for your hair... the length in the first picture does indeed work well for you, but it would also work well it it were longer. I wouldn't cut it any shorter than that first picture; the "framing" effect of your hair in the is flattering and you wouldn't want to lose that.

The lighting of the first picture also makes it appear that your hair has highlights. I can't tell if it really does, but that might be something to try. You might also think of using a VERY subtle auburn color, to give it just a hint of red.

Remember, femininity takes many forms. You're not a blonde blue-eyed cheerleader, true, but you do have a sensuous look and - in spite of what you may think - very deep and very womanly eyes. The raw material is there, and I suspect that as you progress through your teen years, the female in you will come through more and more.

As for practical advice: try going to a professional stylist, who can do your hair and makeup for you, and give you some tips. The makeup won't make you more feminine, but it might give you the ability to see yourself that way, and that's the key.

Hope I helped!

(By the way, the second picture was taken with too short a focal length - a telephoto lens produces a much better result.)




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