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Overprotective Father
Over the summer I was in a relationship with an older man, and while I was away serving with my church...my dad found my cell phone bill and called my guy. My dad basically said that my guy should never talk to me again. Do you think that this was right for my father to do?
Thanks,
Jenn
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"You are the most overly opinionated person that I know...my goodness you don't even know me. I am not living at home, and I do not look to men as providers...in fact I tend to provide for them. Get your facts straight."
You DON'T know me, remember, just like in that same sentence it is true that I don't know you. However, the information you do or do not provide is the basis for the opinions that will be generated. So, you "tend to provide for (men) them?" That is interesting...and vague and lacking in detail, leading to all kinds of speculation about what and why and how you a 20 year old woman would be "providing" for men. But, like you said...I don't know you, and so the mystery of what and why and how you provide for men must be left to one's imagination.
The "facts" are up to YOU to provide, remember?
Opinions are only that, opinions, and it helps if the one ASKING for opinions gives enough details to make her situation CLEAR. Otherwise, the gaps have to be filled in the best we can based upon our experience with countless others that sound very much the same. Hurray for you that you are not living at home, but you did get extrememly defensive about it, which is always a dead giveaway that something is amiss. Why would your daddy have your cell phone bill if you live on your own and pay your own bills??? Did he break in and go through your things? Obviously, it is not "right" for a father of an independent adult child to behave thus, and that is why instead of jumping to the conclusion that your dear old dad is psycho, I reasoned that the most likely story given your lack of facts was that daddy feels entitled to act like your his little girl, because you have failed to assert yourself as a woman and make good adult decisions for yourself. Either daddy is off base or you are, or maybe you both are...who knows? I don't care if your new stud looks like Brad Pitt, it is NOT normal or healthy for you to be with someone that much older. Even half that age difference would be pushing it!!! This is for YOUR benefit, so if I ruffle your feathers or you feel the need to lash out, then so be it.
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i agree with bonnie
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i dont think so. i dont mean to jump to conclusions, but it seems like your father went behind your back and tried to sabotage your relationship with this guy. he should have come to YOU first and talked to you about his feelings about your relationship before calling him up and trying to end it.
thats just my opinion though.
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If you are under the age of eighteen, then YES - its correct for your father to do. He is legally, emotionally, morally responsible for you. If anything were to happen - he would also be in trouble
If you are over the age of eighteen, you're responsible for your own actions and you need to talk with him. (Unless he pays for your cell, then the answer is yes again)
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It depends on how old you are. If you are over 18 and an independent adult, then it's none of his business and he acted wrongly. If you are still a minor and part of his household, then he has a duty (both legal and moral) to protect you.
He probably could have handled it better, but if you were keeping it a secret from him, he probably suspects that there is some reason why you think he would not approve.
Whatever you do now, keep in mind that he's acting out of love. It is your right to question his actions, but do not question the motives.
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Your pops definitely sensed something not right about your relationship and acted in a way that he should have- he was protecting his daughter.
I don't know him, I don't know you, I don't know the whole story so I can't say whether it is right or wrong but at least it shows that he cares about you and who you associate with. I also think there must be some kind of reason for him doing it- it wasn't just out of the blue I am sure.
Guys come and go..but you only get one father, he's just looking out for you.
EDIT: No I don't have MSN Messenger...feel free to ask an Inbox question to me though.
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this is NOT okay tell your dad how you feel and if you really like this guy you should keep up your relationship.. good luck
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