i had a boyfriend fo 2 years we went through a lot he stole my phone i called the cops he put a restraining order on me because he thought i would press charges after all that and not talkng to him for 3 weeks i still love him and will look past it to be with him. he talked to me when hehad the restraining order on me sayinghow much he loves me and wants to be with me. He said he wanted to start talking to me but then he started being a jerk like he used to be and we would fight and he would say not to talk to him anymore. its hard to move on i dont want to and i dont want to give up should i look at the logic because after all hes done anyone would move on or should i stick withmy heart because i love him and i know he loves me we just argue a lot and take things way too far
People always talk about the head vs the heart, but I am of the opinion that that is an ignorant way of thinking. The heart does not feel. It pumps blood. The brain does everything. Thoughts and feelings are not separate. They are two extremely important parts of decision making.
Emotions should never be ignored. Thoughts that are not based on your feelings are not really your own thoughts - they are information or advice that you have collected from others that you insist on repeating over and over to yourself regardless of weather or not it applies to you and your situation. This is why many people squirm over following their head - they aren't following their head, they are following someone else's.
Real thoughts are based on your feelings. The entire concept of thinking is to take your emotions and analyze them. This is a thought. Rejecting your feelings and doing what others call logical is not thinking. It is just being a sheep.
That being said, if you love the guy and he loves you, you should probably try talking to him about it. You obviously have some issues with honesty (he stole your phone) and with getting alone (all of the arguments), but if you want to be with each other, it is possible to work through those problems.
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I have been studying for many years on the subject of the effects of diet and health. About 1 year ago I decided to do a website to help any one who had a need or desire to be healthier. I have found tons of facts that absolutely prove a poor diet will make you sick in some way. The problem is to this day my site is rarely visited, I have found great cook books that deal with healthy living and great organic products. Why is it that no one is interested in this info. I can tell my home page is clicked but not many stay long enough to actually find out what my site is about. Don't sick and anemic people actually want help? www.healthfix4life.com
Of course they actually want help, but the first impression your site gives off is that you are trying to use these health issues to market products.
When I was depressed, I often looked for websites that might give me ideas on coping with it. If I saw one with multiple headlines and links to other websites that allowed me to purchase something (the way yours does), I immediately switched websites. It always seemed to me that if I was going to be paying for something, it would be a real therapist (as opposed to some online self-help tapes, etc.)
So, that may be your answer. People who come to your site are most likely looking for information, not an online cure. While useful information is in abundance, it is set up to look like a "For Sale" sign.
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I'm kinda hating my life right now... Before, when I still had school, I would be depressed and mad a lottt. I think it's just cause of people. It's kinda hard to explain but I'll try my best. It seems as though each year (starting with 4th or 5th grade) I keep losing friends. You know, those really close bffl's. In elementary school, I was sad but I guess I didn't mind much and I moved on. Though now that I'm in middle school it's much worse. I'll be starting 8th grade soon. I always lose like my closest friend(s) I have. :[ It sucks! I don't know why! I don't know why they don't want to be best friends, or even friends with me anymore!!! ;[[[ They make it seem like they're bored of me, and think they're new friends are "better." I feel like I have no close friends, except maybe 1 or 2. Except one of those friends is annoying me right now. She has close friends on the computer. And she has one close friend too. She makes it seem she's her "bestest friend in the wholeee widee world" though I think it's ridiculous since they met on the computer. (I know you can have really good friends on the comp :]) But it seems like she's saying that CURRENTLY. I'm her best friend too. She invited me to play some game "Maplestory." I did, and she was "happy" She doesn't even talk to me on there. She kinda ignores me. All her friends that log on, she's like "wbbbbbbbbbbbb (welcome back) ________
It's good that you are so in-tune with your emotions. People that actually are willing to look into their emotions and bother expressing them are rare. Congrats on trying to sort through your feelings.
That being said, I have no idea how to make you feel less "empty". I myself feel the same way a lot of the time. I do know that I would never advise you to "read" "work"or "hang out with friends", because those things are just as trivial as sitting at home doing nothing. Nothing is really all that relevant, and chances are, no matter what you do, you will still feel empty. I guess all I can say is that when you are looking for purpose and meaning in a frivolous society, you are bound to be disappointed. All you can do is take pride in the fact that you are one of the few people who are actually aware of the emptiness - most people don't notice, and when they do, they don't talk about it.
I do have a piece of advice concerning your friend who is constantly chatting with her e-friends instead of you - tell her how you are feeling. If you are her best friend (which you are, regardless of her online friends), she should take the time to listen.
Good luck =)
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Ok. I'm 14 year old girl and i'm going into highschool this year. I'm over weight, (Trust me, I know i'm over weight. I'm NOT one of those girls who are really skinny, or normal and say they're fat. My doctor even says to lay off the food because of my cholesterol, and weight. Even my parents agree.) But that should'nt matter because of course, they should like you for who you are, not your apperance. Am I right? Well, i'm wondering if i'm wrong, and it really DOES matter, because you see, my friends have boyfriends and they have perfect bodies. (I know that happiness does'nt come from dating, but I can't help it.) I guess you could say i'm jealous, but thats not the point. Does weight really matter? And, if it does or does'nt, does anyone have any good tips for the pounds to start lowering? I am really, REALLY bad at diets. The longest i've ever stayed on a diet was for a week. I keep trying and trying, but I can't break my old eating habbits.
No, weight does not matter when it comes to dating. Different guys have different preferences when it comes to body shape and size. Besides, looks aren't the only factor for guys when they like someone. There will be plenty of people willing to date you, who find you beautiful and fun to be around.
That being said, if your doctor thinks you should lose weight, you probably should. Not to impress guys or change yourself for others, but for health reasons.
Ask your doctor for a meal/exercise plan or something.
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15/f
i have a boyfriend of 9 months who really, i love. he loves me too. the thing is recently my friend and his friend started dating and they already had sex so now i feel pressure even though he's not pressuring me. i'm not ready to do that yet and i know my boyfriend will respect it. one of the only reasons i'm hesitant on having sex is because i have really low self esteem and i feel like he'll think i'm fat or we'll do it then he'll dump me or soemthing. he is a really good guy and he wouldn't do that so idk why i always think it. how can overcome this self esteem problem so i can be more open to things like this?
thanks
Not wanting to have sex has nothing to do with low self esteem. Honestly, where do you people get this stuff from?
The part of this situation which indicates a self-image problem is the fact that you are making important decisions (to have sex or not to have sex) based on a friend's relationship.
It's time to figure out what you want for yourself.
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How Can I break if off with my boyfriend! I love but not that much, I am talking to another guy who is in love with me, and I am getting to him , Plz help me , I am stuck between 4 guys but 2 of them fight over me and u know the bloody nose and stuff and the one Im into is so sweet and boyish and my boyfriend dosnt like to fight what do I do???!!!??? My boyfriend said he'd die if I break up with him!! he even punched a huge! hole in his wall because we got in a fight, PLZ help me!!!!!
Tell these guys to grow up, and stop treating you like their territory. They are acting like immature animals. Then, do your best to work things out with your current boyfriend. I'm sure you can fall in love with him again.
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Whats going on?
ok me and this guy started talking 2 weeks ago, we started talking on aim and on the phone, we would talk to eachother for 6 hours a day on aim and we would sleep in 5am i kinda had a crush on him he's funny and nice. and we were flirty too in a way, and one day we were sharing secrets all the time and he said tell me something that i dont know and i said umm im a natural flirt and he was all haha i knew it and he became a little quiet and he began to talk again, and next day he was okay but he becoming quiet again and he signed off at 2am but he usually stay on till 5am and the next day again he texted me saying "wheres my lunch? haha im at mcdonalds" cause we bet on it and then after that he didnt talk to me on aim like he ALWAYS do cause he always im me right when i get on but now he wont anymore is there something wrong? whats going on?
All you need to do is ask him. I DON'T think he's losing interest in you. I just think that not everyone can stay up until 5 am every night. Maybe he's just getting more comfortable with being your friend and doesn't feel the need to jump all over you anymore. Regardless of the reason, I think the best thing you can do is tell him you miss your long chats. Tell him what you are feeling.
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im so frickin nervous i screw it up with every girl and i really want to keep this one but its too nerve racking cause ill be ahead in the game then i screw one little thing then its all downhill and i just turn into a big douchbag, i dont know what to do to keep her interested
When you're dating someone, it's not your job to "keep her interested". It's your job to be there for her, to care about her and to try and get to know each other. Just focus on being with her. If she is dating you, then it is her job to keep herself interested. Honestly, how can you control someone else's loyalty?
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I'm 24 years old, going on 25 and I've never had a boyfriend, I've been on dates, if you want to call taking me to McDonald's as a date...anyway, everytime I see my friends or even relatives smooching or cuddling with their significant other it puts me down, it's like a slap in the face. I've never even experienced my first kiss yet. Everyone knows how I feel and everytime they say again and again "Don't worry, you're turn will come", I am so fed up with hearing that! Any advice you can give me?
I agree with helloxdear13 - you need to get yourself out there! Don't feel down about yourself because you haven't been with anyone yet. Dating isn't about ego - you don't need to feel "[slapped] in the face' just because you haven't gotten to know anyone yet. There are tons of guys who would love to be with you. They just don't know it because, well...they don't know you yet! Just be yourself, take a deep breath and go meet some people.
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ok so 15/f/usa
So my cousin has this friend....and i recenly met his friend. ive talked to him before texting, but i ment him when my cousin had him over. it turns out he likes me alot. he's 18. he's afraid of the age difference...and because if we were to be in a relationship, he doesn't want my cousin..who are best friends, he doesn't want to ruin friend relationships. But I really like him. I got a chance to really connect with him yesterday. :] he said i have a shot, it's just that he wants to take it extremely slow. but i am so confused! i feel like i'm in a relationship and that we have something special togeter..we cuddled ok? and he feels bad, i have no idea what to do. cause i really really really like him. help?
It looks to me like you two have a lot of talking to do. To be honest, the age difference isn't so bad. The only thing you would have to look into is the laws on sex, age of consent, etc for your state. Three years really isn't that big of a difference.
Still, it seems like he doesn't feel the same - he still feels nervous about dating you. Talk to him about it, so that you guys can sort out the issues and get together =)
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isnt it good when a guy youve been talking to lately is always keeping it real?
but where is line that he crosses when you know it will never be the two of you because he's too much.. of a real guy.. like you know if your talking to someone you like and likes you back dontchu think that sometimes its good to lie for good because YOU WANNA TRY TO COME OFF AS A GOOD GUY OR ADORABLE ETC, you get my point.. but what if.. this guy starts to say i gotta go poo or like something like that.. hes being "too real" and that means youll never be together coz he doesnt even bother making up an excuse for his "i gotta go" moment like why cant the guy just be like "i gotta go wash the dishes" or something like dat
so my question is
IF A GUY ACTS LIKE THAT, DOES IT MEAN THAT HE DOESNT LIKE YOU?
or he does but he's just really like that.. [but dont peole wanna come off as like a good person or humble??]
I don't think it is any indication of his feelings for you as a girl. All that it means is that he is feeling more comfortable around you. When someone gets comfortable, their true self starts to shine through. For example, I would never tell someone I needed to go for a number two no matter how close we were, regardless of if I had romantic feelings for them or not. However, I'm not shy to tell my boyfriend if I need to go for a number one, and my feelings for him are through the roof. When someone gets comfortable, they say what they are thinking, short of talking in a way that THEY deem inappropriate. This has nothing to do with his opinion of you, it's just his personality. He thinks talking about that stuff is okay.
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I met this guy when i was 14 ... and i lost my virginity to him. We lasted almost 3 years, but as time went on things went sour. We argued alot, and i did some bad things. Now i'm talking to this guy again, i must admit i was truly in love with him. And i still think about him time to time, the feeling i get is undescribable. Anyways, i broke up with him because i (thought) i lost my feelings for him, but after a couple months ... i noticed i just wasn't happy nomatter who i was dating at the time. I recently met this guy, he just got out of prison not to long ago. Right from the get go he said he loved me. And he wanted a relationship and so on. Need i remind you he doesn't have a car, he JUST got a job, and we argue over the littlest things, and i'm being honest when i say i don't start the arguments. He gets mad when i even look at a guy, and most the time makes a big deal out of it. He also asks me "why" i put on makeup which isn't very often. Hes so scared hes gunna loose me to someone else, and he talks about my exs more than i do. I really want things to work with us, but i miss my ex too :/ Me and this guy argue so much, even more than my ex did. And i'm doing everything to just have a healthy relationship. He also doesnt let me talk to anyone on the phone, and he knows that i don't talk to anyone yet he still asks me "who'd you talk to today" when he comes home. This guy is also 23. He told me he didnt have a kid, but i recently "heard" this girl (heather) had a baby and has pictures of him on her myspace... that by the way i have not yet seen. I'm torn between the two. Please help me in any way shape or form
x - thuglove
This new guy sounds a bit sketchy, to be honest. It sounds like he isn't always truthful with you. If you are going to stay with him, I suggest you keep honesty as the focal point of your efforts within the relationship. You guys really need to be more open with each other.
As far as your ex goes, if you want to be with him, why not? Have you talked to him about it? Find out if he feels the same way.
Good luck with whoever you pick.
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my boyfriend is active and outgoing. he likes to go out and pretty much do anything. uve gone on dates to the park movies dinner golf but what else can i do with him to make our relationship to where he likes it? he likes sports as well but he likes everything lol!
Ask him. Every guy is different and only he knows what he would like.
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my boyfriend is making me meet his family and friends it has only been 1 week into our relationship at the time.
now he wants me to meet some more friends and his sister and its been 21/2 weeks into our relationship
im coming off as shy because i dont know what to say or how to talk to them because i feel like we are rushing it. he on the other hand doesnt think so
how can i open up to his family and friends more.
what can i talk to them about or say because i want to be around them bc i really do like this guy so please help as much as possiblE
Just try to relax. It's a compliment that he wants you to meet them. That being said, there's not a lot you can do except know that however you act around them is fine. Coming across as shy isn't so bad. Don't beat yourself up about it. Most people are shy around people they've just met. You'll loosen up eventually.
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okay so my crush asked me if we could hang out together just the two of.....and he knows i like him i told him so.....but him and his gf just broke up like two days ago but even before they broke up he knew i liked him but anyways
i just wanna know what we could do were gonna be at his house so what are some things we could do???
ya see hes not all torn up about him and his breakup so can you someone tel me what i could do to like you know tell him that i wanna be more than just friend????
specifics would be great and like things i could say or they way i should act would be awsome!!!
please and thank you!!
There's nothing like being direct and honest. Most girls try to play games. You stand out the most if you are just blunt and real. Tell him what you are feeling.
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my boyfriend and i have been together for about a year. yet we havent really done anything. we are both mature and all, but im not sure. i like just talking to him more than doing stuff. we arent shy around each other or anything, he knows i never want to. but i feel bad for making him miss out. even though he says he's okay with it, he would just like to do more. eh :/ what do i do?
Don't do stuff. You aren't "way behind" and I think it's cool that you two are able to appreciate each other for who you are as people. Don't worry about him "missing out", because he isn't missing out at all. He's dating a great girl who wants to really know him and be there for him. How is that "missing out"? It seems to me that the only thing he's "missing out" on is a boring, stereotypical relationship. But, let me tell you, those relationships aren't half as meaningful.
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So me and my fwb (friend with benefits) have been hooking up since last week. Sorry, this question might be a little long :/
He's 17/m and I'm 16/f.
We used to hookup earlier (around january) but I really messed that up by getting with someone else and just recently he's forgiven me. His close guy friend tells me the reason he got so angry was because he liked me (During then I couldn't establish between him liking me or just wanting some) I was pretty stupid because he would come down every weekend for me and I still couldn't tell that he liked me. After the whole thing I asked if he wanted anything and he said no. (I meant like hooking up, but I did want a relationship with him) Now every since we've started hooking up again I've had to make all the effort to hangout with him. I'm really falling for him now and I know he's not getting with anyone else, but I'm not sure if he wants a relationship and I'm afraid he's just keeping me around to mess with. He's sending so many mixed signals, for example:
- We usually text every day and since my phone is messed up, I somtimes don't get his texts. So after a day or two he'll usually write me something like "Hey, way to respond to me" (joking)
- When we see each other we usually don't talk for awhile. His guy friend says he's really shy.
- I always have to make the plans to hangout. I don't know if it's just that he wants me to come to him or he's too shy to ask.
- Whenever we start kissing, it's always me that leans in.
- When we hangout, we usually only do something for a little bit. Eventually, we end up having sex or messing around. This is mainly why I feel somewhat used, but to be honest I don't mind it because I like him so badly. We only see each other maybe once a week which is why when we do see each other, we want to do stuff.
His shyness yet willingness to do stuff just has me so confused. I feel like it's too early to ask him if he likes me since we've only hooked up once since the whole ordeal. But at the same time, I don't want to continue on doing this If I'm only going to end up hurt. Does he seem like he likes me or am I just wasting my time? And what should I do? Thanks :)
There's only one thing you can do: talk to him about how you feel. If you want a relationship, then asking him if he wants one too is clearly the smartest move. Leaving things the way they are will either a) hurt you or b) cause you and him to like each other secretly. Why keep your feelings hidden?
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well hi scooter....
so there is this guy, and i told him how i felt about him even though he had a girlfriend and he said i wanna tell you how i feel about you and he did he said he wished we could have gotten to know each other more...
well we would just talk on emails over myspace and thats it until just recently two days ago from today he asked do you wanna hang out with me.....well we never did cuz of the timeing bbut the next day we talked more, ust over emails and he told me that him and his girlfriend just broke up!!!!! but the thing is we never talk about him and her and whats more he told i didnt even bring her up!!!!!
well anyways i asked why they broke up and he said it was because
.....she thought he was cheating on her with ....ME!!!!!!!!
and thats not true!!!!! so i wrote back saying im sorry i should have just left you alone i feel really bad now.....heres the part youve been waiting for......his girlfriend requests me as a friend on myspace and she says.........listen yurr not the reason we broke up things were just going down hill for us so its not yurr fault!!!!!
WTF!!!!!!!!!!! why in the world would he tell me that i was the reason!!!!!!???????
does anyone know why!!!
cuz im pretty sure he likes me or at least has feelings for me so why would he tell me they broke up cause of me??????
help me please!!
Wow, that does sound confusing. I suggest you ask him. He's the only one who could tell you why he would say that. Maybe he doesn't know why his girlfriend broke up with him and just assumes it was because of you. Ask him what is going on.
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I need ideas for my boyfriend. I want to do something romantic and memorable. Im 19, he's 20.
When he was in high school, he had a hotel room. His prom date and him went there, he surprised her with the room and some food. He forgot "something" in the car and went back. When he came back into the room, she had his tux and tie on which was really "hott." So he found that to be memorable and romantic.
Sadly yes I asked about the story bc i wanted to hear it!
How do I top this?
Thanks in advance everyone, this means a lot!
Don't try to do something similar. You can't top something by imitating it. Think of something completely different. I doubt many people's idea of "romantic" is a hotel room anyway.
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Okay so I've been awake for going on 48 hours here. I'm a tiny bit tired but everytime I try to go to sleep I just lay there for hours. I'm not into the whole taking sleeping pills thing so what other things can I do to fall asleep fast?
Don't say exercise, change your diet, don't eat heavy meals, and don't drink caffeine before going to bed because I've already tried all that. I just can't sleep. :/
Keep a journal or talk on the phone before you go to bed. Sometimes people have built up tension from the day that keeps them awake at night. It feels good to let it out.
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