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way behind.
my boyfriend and i have been together for about a year. yet we havent really done anything. we are both mature and all, but im not sure. i like just talking to him more than doing stuff. we arent shy around each other or anything, he knows i never want to. but i feel bad for making him miss out. even though he says he's okay with it, he would just like to do more. eh :/ what do i do?
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To be quite honest, people in relationships shouldn't have sex until they're married, but that's my standard and I can't hold people to it.
My brother and his girlfriend have been together for about 1 1/2 years, and they have yet to do anything sexual together. In fact, they've both vowed to be virgins until they're married [and I'm sure they'll get married one day].
My sister and her boyfriend have been together just over two years [25 months or so now], and they, too have yet to do anything sexual.
My point is that you don't have to follow the rest of teenage society and just lose your virginity. If you're not ready, then don't do it. You really shouldn't until you're completely ready to face the consequences and such. When you feel ready, without pressure from your boyfriend, friends, school peers, etc., then go ahead, but you shouldn't do anything until you know 100% that that's what you WANT to do.
--Jack
(16/m)
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If you aren't ready you aren't ready plain and simple. Never have sex to please someone else or if you feel uneasy. Obviously, there's no problem here as he really does love you and is fine with waiting. If he wasn't he would have moved on.
Take him at his word. He's telling you the truth. Don't feel bad at all as you owe him nor anyone else nothing. If you don't feel ready for sex yet that's perfectly fine. He respects that. It's being responsible. You don't need an accidental pregnancy in your lives.
Also, sex isn't a competition just because you are a year in to your relationship and other people you knew "did it" by now doesn't mean you should. Relax, and when it comes time to have sex you'll both know. He sounds like the type of guy who will wait until you're set.
In the meantime you should keep an open dialogue with him about sex and sexuality. Read about it, get informed and learn about birth control and being safe. Right now if your gut says not to do it trust it.
That said there's many safe ways to experience pleasure together that doesn't involve intercourse or anything sexual. Cuddling, massage, caressing etc. Believe me, he doesn't feel as though he's missing something as he's with you and happy. If it was about sex for him he would have moved on long ago when you told him you weren't ready yet.
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Don't do it if you're not ready. You will regret it. You aren't behind for not doing sexual acts and he isn't missing out. If he says he's ok with it, he's ok with it. And if he wasn't okay with it, that wouldn't mean you should do it anyways.
Talking with a guy will get you much further in a relationship than anything physical will. A relationship must be built on trust and understanding, not on sex. Your relationship is probably much more stable than your peers'.
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You don't have to do anything. You're not "behind". Just because you're not doing sexual things does NOT, by any means, mean that you're behind in your relationship. It is perfectly fine to have a relationship without sex or anything like that.
You shouldn't feel bad for making him "miss out", and he should understand that you don't want to do anything.
-Laura. (16-f)
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Well. If you're curious and you want to try stuff, go ahead. If he respects it and you're worried he wants more, just believe him, because you have to trust him. If he says he's okay with it and he hasn't broken up with you, then he's okay with it, and you don't need to worry about it.
Just do whatever you feel okay with. =]
Hope I helped, let me know. =]
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Don't do stuff. You aren't "way behind" and I think it's cool that you two are able to appreciate each other for who you are as people. Don't worry about him "missing out", because he isn't missing out at all. He's dating a great girl who wants to really know him and be there for him. How is that "missing out"? It seems to me that the only thing he's "missing out" on is a boring, stereotypical relationship. But, let me tell you, those relationships aren't half as meaningful.
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