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I Do not have any photos of myself available yet, so my seven year old is filling in for me. Isn't he cute?
The best advice I can give anyone is leverage the power of the internet. If you are just looking for answers to a homework question or seeking business ideas, the net is the place to start. Not only does the net provide information, it can also be leveraged to make anyone lots of money.
Hi, my name is Tammy, I am 32 years old, I live in Las Vegas, Nevada with my son and his daddy. I love helping people with their problems and I also really enjoy getting to know new people. So, look around my column. Maybe I have given advice that you could use someday!
Looking forward to helping you!
P.S. If you are interested in knowing how I am leveraging the net to build my fortune, please e-mail me!!
advice
I'm 15 And Pregnant I Just Found Out And I'm 14 Weeks And My Mom Wants Me To Get An Abortion But Yes I Don't Want The Abortion But The Thing Is... I Haven't Told My Dad Cause He'll Kick Me And My Mom Out Of The House And We'll Have No Where To Go? No Family We Have Here Where We Live So It's Hard On Us She's Really Mad At Me And The Father And The Baby's Daddy Is Still In The Picture And Wants The Baby No Matter What But My Mom Wants To Put A Restraining Order Against Him Since He Is 17 We're 2 Years And 8 Months Apart And She Wants To Get Him For Rape Which Isn't True, But Me And The Father Want The Baby It's Just My Parents Opinion. And If He Gets Put Away Again It'll Be For 6 Years I Don't Want That For Our Baby And Not Have Our Baby Grow Up Without A Dad Or Aleast Knowing His/Her Daddy. What Can I Do??? :|
Dear "What Can I Do When I'm 15 An Pregnant?.....",
Protect that baby with your life! I would get out of your house and away from your parents.
It is against the law for your parents to force this one you. I checked and if you get Child Protective Services involved, they will remove you from your parent's custody, immediately. Not tomorrow, not next week, but immediately. You can stay in a maternity house, or possibly request to be placed in the custody of your boyfriend's parents.
I contacted the government and I was told that since the sex was consensual, and both of you are minors, your parents cannot legally charge your boyfriend with rape. He is not 18 yet. I was also told that all of the advice I have given so far is accurate, by law.
You can save yourself and this baby. It is against the law for your parents to force this one you.
They need to be told that.
Even if they force you into the abortion clinic, the doctor cannot abort the baby if you tell him that this is forced on you. By law the doctor must stop what he is doing and contact the police on your behalf.
Tell your mother that you are having this baby, with or without her blessing. Tell her if she tries to stop you, force an abortion on you, or abandon you with an unborn baby, you will call the police and have both parents arrested for child endangerment. Tell her you have already talked to a 'legal' counselor about this.
She is responsible for your actions until you are 18 years old. She will either support you until then, or she will go to jail. If your father tries to kick anyone out, he will go to jail too.
Here are a few links for you to browse regarding important choices that you will have to make for your baby. Make wise and informed choices and your baby will be happy and healthy.
Bill Gates talking about killing billions of people with health care and vaccines in this link . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ET0UAdzQkpQ&feature=related
Riki Lake produced a movie called "the business of being born."
You should try to acquire this movie from Netflix, or some other source. It will explain to you why you do not want to have your baby in a hospital.
Here is link that will explain birth contracts, social security contracts and the like.
http://fskrealityguide.blogspot.com/2008/06/birth-certificates-social-security.html
Protect your baby from the government too.
http://www.rumormillnews.com/cgi-bin/archive.cgi?read=32559
http://forum.davidicke.com/showthread.php?t=141840
Peace and love be with you and your new baby.
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
Okay so I'm a 15 year old girl. I am involved in many sports and I love being active! But within the past hm let's say, 2 or 3 months I have been extremelyyy paranoid & having anxiety beyond a normal point. The reason is because I met this boy this year & we started doing things (sexual things) that I do deeply regret..he wasn't the only one though.it was anothr boy also..I never ever ever had sex though!! He tried havin like Buttsex with me but it hurt so bad & it was in there for like not even a second & I told him no this isn't happeneing. (that was only with one of the boys) but since then I have gotten all of my periods except for 2months ago I jut had like brown spotting (I didn't do anythig b4that period tho bec I stopped talking to him) & then this month I got it normal but it was like 4 or 5 days late just as it Always is. I know u can't get pregant w/out having sex but I'm just so paranoid that I am pregant even tho I took 2 preg tests one night around 6. I'm just wing really paranid about it all. I used to do abb wrkouts all the time but I haver done them in like 3weeks ao now when I do like a backbend there's kinda a tiny tiny lump in between my uterus & belly button So I just don't know if it's fat (bec the lump is just soft skin) or something else!! Also, my period just ended about 5 days ago & I'm having mild pains in both of my ovaries. I am also hungry a lot bec I don't eat that much anymore bec I'm sonparand about my stomach getting bigger.. Any idea what's going on?
Dear "I regret doing sexual things",
No vaginal sex and two negative pregnancy tests is a pretty clear sign that you are not pregnant.
Having anal sex is an art, and unless the male is skilled, it will hurt. However, if done right, anal sex is just as good as vaginal and oral sex. The key is to start slow, continue very slow, and use tons of lubrication.
You should not regret the things you have done. They should be lessons learned, not regretful mistakes.
As for the 'lump'; hormones, not eating, and worrying a lot will increase belly fat. Your body is in a constant state of change. Your growing up, and out. Part of what you are experiencing is a growth spurt, with possible growing pains.
Your body will start storing fat because it thinks you are starving. Worrying increases your energy output by 10 fold, that is more than exercising. Your body is actually trying to compensate for no food, changing hormones, and increased energy output.
The mind has the amazing ability to bring to life the things you think about with high emotions. It is called 'the secret'. Here is the link to the site that explains it better.
http://thesecret.tv/
Here is a link that will help keep you form getting that belly lump when you worry, and discontinue your workouts. In fact, this information will tell if the workout you are doing is good for you or not.
http://www.dadamo.com/typebase4/typeindexer.htm
Your periods will be affected by this behavior as well. You can make yourself physically ill by just worrying about things. I have known women that were so paranoid about being pregnant, that they actually missed periods, without being pregnant. One women even had tender breasts, morning sickness, bloating, and weight gain for three months.
She convinced herself that she was pregnant and her body responded with physical symptoms of pregnancy. It was all in her mind.
My advice is to calm down about this, get back to your normal workout, and use protection when you have vaginal sex. Oh, never let a male put his penis in your vagina directly after anal sex. You can get bacterial infections from that. Make him wash after sex.
Sex is not something to be afraid of or worry about like this. My first and second experiences with anal sex were harsh and painful. Then I met a man who knew how to penetrate without pain. WOW!
I love it now. The point of my story is that you should not let one bad experience stop you from trying again. However, you must protect yourself too.
However, I do recommend seeing an OBGYN if the pain in your ovaries gets any worse. You may have a real condition.
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
My fiance will be leaving for Navy bootcamp in a little over a month. By the time he leaves we'll be married. But all I think about is how much I'm going to miss him. I know I should think about spending as much time as possible together but I'm a planner type of person. It gets to a point where I'm just really depressed. I don't know if you call it depression or not but he's not even gone yet and I'm already freaking out about it. I just want to know what I can do to fix this. I don't want to have to take any anti-depression pills so that's out of the question. I just don't know what to do. Thanks!
Dear "Depression over military deployment",
I can give you been there and done that advice.
The Navy has a saying on the subject of family.
"If we did not include it in your sea-bag, we did not want you to have it."
I was in the navy, and when I got out, I married my sailor boyfriend. Two different experiences.
While I was in the military, I was treated like a guinea pig. They hand out Ibuprofen and morphine like it is candy. I was exposed to deadly chemicals and was never told so.
As a spouse and dependent, most military wives are treated like a nobody who the military does not want around. The members get paid for the number of people in their family. The less they have to pay for family members, the better.
I would like to advise you NOT to marry the NAVY. You will not be marrying your fiance, you will be marrying the NAVY and rarely see your man. His job will ALWAYS come first. When he graduates from boot camp, his Oath to the USA overrides all other vows, including marriage vows. Kind of the way Obama's Oath to the constitution and people of America is trumped by his Oath to his Masonic Order. When it comes down to it, you mean nothing to the Government.
I say, have your man claim hardship and annul his contract with the NAVY right now. Do not let him marry the NAVY. He can change his mind. College money, stable pay, and any other benefits that come from the NAVY are not worth the damage that this choice could do to your lives.
I am speaking from not only my own experience, but from seeing the various US military branches ruin a countless number lives, and end too many marriages.
Joining the military is not a noble cause. I weep for the ignorance that causes people to think so.
Do not get me wrong. I do not dislike the military. I just dislike what it is being used to accomplish.
I have seen both sides. I speak bluntly here with no disrespect intended. It takes more courage to make a living in the civilian world than in the military. The military hands the members everything they need as soon as the vow is finished. I took the easy way out when I was 18. I joined the NAVY instead of getting a civilian job. So speak from experience.
However, I will tell you how to survive being a military wife during deployments, separations, boot-camp, etc.
While he is away at boot camp, he may get phone privileges a few times, and mail weekly, unless it has changed. He will be gone roughly 8 weeks. He may or may not get to come home right away to retrieve you. He may get sent straight to his first command. If he goes overseas, you had better have your passport in order. Otherwise it will be a few more months or even years before you see him.
Once he is full active duty and assigned to a ship you will not be able to reach him regularly, except through e-mail and snail mail; and even then, getting it depends on accessibility. When the ship is in port, he will probably be home every non-duty night. When they are out of port, sometimes the ships go out for 6-8 months at a time and only get hooked up with mail once or twice. Secret ops can be a pain in the communication systems between the Government's Property(your man) and civilians(you).
At some point in his career, he will be assigned to a sea going vessel. Expect to be separated quite a bit throughout his career. Having kids is not a good thing in the military. Daddy is never around, and it puts a lot of stress on your relationship. Wait to have kids until he gets an officer's commission, or reaches second class petty officer. At these ranks, he will have the money to afford kids, and may even get to choose his commands.
Ombudsman are the dependent's contacts when the ships is out, unreachable, and communication is needed. If you have problems coping with being alone, contact the ombudsman and tell them about it. You should get the contact information with a welcome aboard package at each new command. You can ask for help from other spouses too.
If the pooh hits the fan, call on a Chaplain. They move mountains when the military drones treat you like you a nobody.
He is not even gone to boot camp yet and you are freaking out. I still say the best fix is to talk him out of it, but I will also answer your question as if that is not an option.
Do not focus on him being gone. Do not focus on missing him and do not focus on spending all your time with him before he leaves. Focus on your wedding day and honeymoon. After that focus on creating a home for him that is peaceful. A sanctuary that is all his at the end of a nasty day.
Use 'The Secret' http://thesecret.tv/living.html to accomplish things while he is gone. You are his rock, no matter what his career choice may be. It is going to be you that keeps him going.
Most important is honest and frequent communication. When he is gone, he needs to be reminded of you or your essence will fade. Keep fresh photos sent to him, ones he keeps to himself and others he can show to his pals. He is a man and will have a lot of sailing girls around that need to know he is taken. Make your presence known, support him, and you will be fine.
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
I think way too much and I can't help it, I've been doing this since I was a little kid. I overreact to the most stupid things. For example, I have trouble falling asleep because I'm up worrying about college and I'm only a SOPHOMORE in high school. My mom yelled at me for being late for school today and I wanted to cry about it. And, my friend didn't say bye to me when I left school and it got me in the worst mood. My mind immediately jumps to the worst scenario, like "OMG she didn't say bye because she hates you!" and I freak out about it. Sometimes I wish I could turn my mind off, because now I'm getting in these terrible moods and yelling at people because I worry too much. I always think that people hate me but I know that's not true. Ugh I wish I could just stop. And right now I'm worrying about worrying. Ahhh. Any suggestions on how I could just get myself to calm down a bit and stop thinking about everything? Thanks.
Dear "I worry about everything.",
Thought stopping may help keep your thoughts under control. However, it important for you to know why you have these thoughts.
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/generalized_anxiety_disorder.htm
Meditation, and I mean a lot of meditation, should help; along with thought stopping, understanding GAD, and maintaining a positive attitude at all times.
Good Luck and peace of mind to you.
Doktor Tammy
i dont know if i am depressed or not. i have symptoms such as:
1. cant sleep till at least midnight(sometimes 2)
2. hate takling to people(friends)
3. hate being around people
4. worry about EVERYTHING
5. suicide thoughts all day long
does anyone know what causes these???
Dear "what are these symtoms called? Is this depression?",
All these symptoms would cause depression, but these are not symptoms of depression.
General Anxiety Disorder
http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/g/generalized_anxiety_disorder/symptoms.htm
I hope this link helps change your mind,
http://changingminds.org/techniques/conversion/thought_stopping.htm#sto
Do not be afraid to talk to your mom. Show her advicenators if you are too nervous for talking.
Love to you and Peace to your thoughts.
Good Luck
Doktor Tammy
i've been with this guy for almost a year now,i love him a lot but i feel like i'm not the right person for him,he wants a lot & at times i feel like i'm incompetent.
we fight about small things,things that don't really matter,things like him not being able to reach me because my phone is off,reason-network problems,& he knows that...
we fought yesterday morning & the day before,i have a boil at the mouth of my virgina & i told him about it,he said to me my blood is dirty.i then asked him if my blood is dirty how can the SANBS let me donate blood if my blood was dirty, then he said to me i have an sti...
ican't take it any more..what should i do?
Dear "I feel like I am not the right person for him"
I think a better way to put it is that he is not right for you.
If he loved you, he would help you with your problems, instead of attacking you with nasty comments and degrading accusations.
I doubt that the blood banks would allow you to give blood if you had an STD or an STI.
I believe this link will help you.
http://www.blurtit.com/q204805.html
As far as your man is concerned, I feel that he is insecure and needy, as well as immature and mean.
Forgive him for being ignorant, and making ignorant comments. However, I feel that he is wrong for you. His energy is weak, and scattered, while yours is strong and focused.
You have only been with him for almost a year. The two of you should still be all over each other with affection and curiosity. Instead, I feel an imbalance of energy causing problems.
I say let go, and move on. You need energy to match your own. However, I do not love him the way you do. Ultimately, you will decide what is best for you.
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
i am a teen, im an emo and i have been feeling depressed for the past 2 months. but in the 9th week i started getting suicidal, well mostly suicidal thoughts and i have been writing suicide notes and Wills for when i commite suicide. i am crying out for help on the inside. but i dont want anyone i know to find out about me. my parents would kill me themselves instead of getting me help, i want a painless way to die and a quick way to die. if anyone has suggestions than please tell me. i dont wanna live like this anymore. i CANT live like this anymore.
Dear "i want to die and i don't know how",
I do not think that the consequences for helping you kill yourself are worth it. I do not believe that you will get anyone to give you the type of answer you are looking for. Assisted Suicide carries a hefty penalty. Instead, I think you will get a lot of people telling you seek a doctor's help.
I will not help you kill yourself, and I will not tell you to seek a doctor. I will say to you what I think you need to hear.
I am in the older generation, so to speak. So I had to look up the usage of 'emo'. Are you saying you are an emotion or are you referring to the music genre?
Depression is the result of your environment; such as diet, peer and family influences, social manipulation, and Very Low Frequency Weapons.
Some music and movie genres include VLFs in their songs and soundtracks. These frequencies induce emotions such as depression, violence, chaos, and mayhem. However, movies and music are just two ways VLFs are used on us.
I know you feel like life is not worth living anymore. Trust me, you have not lived long enough to learn that this feeling will pass. You must believe that. I am convinced that if you change some things in your life, that your feelings will change as well.
First you must be able to have clear thoughts, so diet is important. Here is link that will take you to a list of foods that will improve your thinking and clear up those moods. Essentially, foods that are beneficial, act like medicine for your body.
http://www.dadamo.com/typebase4/typeindexer.htm
Next, you must be aware that the feelings you are having may not be your own.
http://empathicperspectives.blogspot.com/2009/12/empaths-hypersensitivity-anxiety-coping.html
Here is another link that may explain another reason for your depression.
http://lowertheboom.org/trice/infrasound.htm
Depending on the pitch, VLFs can cause physical pressure, fear, disorientation, negative physical and mental symptoms, explode matter, incapacitate, and kill. For example, in World War II, Nazi propaganda engineers used VLFs to stir up anger in the large crowds that had gathered to hear Hitler. The result was a nation filled with anger and hatred.
and another . . http://www.earthpulse.com/src/subcategory.asp?catid=1&subcatid=4
and another . . http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Energy_weapons
My point is that there are forces greater than you and I using silent weapons on us. Food, man made drugs, pollution, and HAARP are all tools used against the human race in order to control them.
You can improve your quality of life by simply being aware of how you are being manipulated. Then adapting and making changes, remember nothing stays the same, except change.
These last links are because you need to know. We are POWs in world war three,
http://www.examiner.com/human-rights-in-national/fukushima-highly-radiated-united-states-water-food-cover-up-by-feds-continues
http://waronyou.com/topics/fukushima-cover-up-unravels/
http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2011-03-23/fukushima-engineer-says-he-covered-up-flaw-at-shut-reactor.html
http://www.examiner.com/human-rights-in-national/scandalous-collusion-gov-t-nuclear-industry-planned-fukushima-cover-up
http://edition.cnn.com/interactive/2011/03/world/slider.japan.photos/index.html
Be strong. Peace and love to you.
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
What does it mean when my boyfriend pulls me towards him & places me on his lap? I don't mind this but I'm just curious though why he does it.
female 17
Dear "Sitting on his lap",
Males operate physically, females operate mentally. Men show their affection physically. It is obvious he wants you, and that is how he shows it.
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
Okay, so my parents are insanely overprotective and it's driving me nuts. My mom literally won't let me do anything. She gives me no freedom. I'm 14 and she still won't let me have a facebook even though EVERYONE I know has one, she won't let me go shopping with friends, see movies with friends, or walk or bike anywhere without her. It's embarrassing when my friends ask me to do something fun and I have to explain that my mom won't let me do it. I live in a wealthy, safe neighborhood where nothing ever happens. I'm so sick of following her rules and don't see how I can handle another four years before college with her. Also, her overprotectiveness is backfiring. It's making me rebellious. Little does she know I have ridden bikes all over town with a friend, seen a movie at a mall with a friend, created a facebook and done countless other things she would never allow me to do. I'm not ashamed of any of these things, in fact those times of freedom were the most fun i've ever had. They would be more fun, however, if I didn't have the fear of being caught and killed. How can I get my mom to be less overprotective? I've sat down and talked to her about it, told her everyone gets freedom, and nothing will change her! I'm going insane! Help!
Dear "Overprotective Parents",
You say you have no freedom, yet you have done the things she wished you not to do. Are you caged in your room all the time?
That is not having freedom.
You are comparing your life with others. If everyone you knew went jumping out of airplanes without a parachute, would feel deprived of your freedom to jump if your mom stopped you?
Your Mom sees dangers that you do not see. You should listen to her, and respect her wisdom. Facebook has made many murders possible. Girls like you have ended up hooking up with bad people and paying the price with their lives.
Your mom loves you very much, otherwise, she would not care if you had a facebook page, went out by yourself, or followed her rules. No rules, no love. That is right.
Going behind your mom's back shows that you cannot be trusted. I am sorry if this hurting you to hear, but it is how you have behaved. Regardless of how you feel about it, you have acted in a way that would make any mom keep a tight leash on their kid. Maybe that is why she does not let you go anywhere by yourself. She feels your untrustworthy or not mature enough.
Dishonest behavior is a sure sign of immaturity.
Trust is a curious thing. Parents need to know they can trust their children. Going behind your mom and being dishonest is not going to get you any freedom. It will get you less freedom.
My suggestion is to ask your mom to take you and some friends to the movies, the mall, anyplace you choose. Have her along with you and your friends like a chaperon. She can sit a couple rows away in the theater, or walk a few paces behind in the mall.
The point of this is to get your mom confident that you can be trusted with your friends. She needs to know she can trust your friends not to influence you into trouble. That is what peer pressure is. When everyone around you is doing it, you have pressure to do it too. She understands the dangers of this society and wants you to grow up with your eyes open.
Do not go against her wisdom. Embrace it. Spend more time with your mom. Trust me, you will be a better person for having learned all you can from her about life; before you are turned loose in this world to live life without her wisdom.
I wish I had someone sharing wisdom with me when I was your age. I could have avoided a lot of heartache and pain over the last 30 years.
Your mom is not holding you back. You are holding you back. You need to stop being dishonest. You need to spend a lot more time with your mom so that she can see you are mature enough to handle things without her around.
She will come around, but you have to forgive her for being this way. She is worried about you when you are not around. She needs to know that you will make the right choices when presented with bad situations. That's all. To get her past this insecurity, you must show her, not talk, that you are mature enough to be honest, and make good choices. Going behind her back is a bad choice.
The quickest way to get past this is to spend all your time with her and follow her rules. Include your friends too, she is just as insecure about them as she is about you. Getting past this is as easy as giving up the fight with her about the rules. Respect her rules, go with the flow, and show her that you are mature enough to be out without her. Honesty is the best policy.
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
Is there such thing as pre-cum
Dear "sex",
Pre-cum is the clear liquid that seeps from a man's penis when he gets aroused. It is actually a natural lubricant.
This link will best explain it. There is some question on getting pregnant from pre-cum. This doctor explains that is very unlikely that anyone can get pregnant from this pre-cum, as it would have to have sperm in it. Sperm are only released upon ejaculation. Since pre-cum forms before ejaculation, it is highly unlikely that anyone will get pregnant from a little pre-cum.
http://www.oralcaress.com/pre-cum.htm
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
The doctor said that he doesnt have long to live. He just lays on his couch everyday looking sick and he has gotten really skinny. My family brings him tons of food everyday. He doesnt eat anything, he says he doesnt have an apetite and the food doesnt taste like anything. He also says he's in pain everywhere and he falls if he tries. I don't want my favorite unlce to die :(
Dear "How can i deal with a uncle dying of cancer?',
I had to watch my uncle die as well. He was a hero in the service of the people, as a result, he contracted 15 different cancers.
Ultimately, it was not the cancer that killed him. It was the treatments given to him by the doctors. The radiation kills all cells, not just cancer cells. It is like Russian roulette, there is no guarantee it will kill the cancer before it kills all of the other cells.
DUE TO RECENT LAWS AND LEGAL AGENDAS_THIS ANSWER HAS BEEN EDITED TO REMOVE MY WORDS THAT SPEAK THE TRUTH
http://ricksimpsonhempoil.blogspot.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjhT9282-Tw
So, my boyfriend has had an issue with escaping into gaming and porn. It got so bad at one point, that he would turn me down on a fairly regular basis, but was jerking off daily at work in the bathroom.
We had a lot of fights/tears over this, I asked him to cut back and every time he said he would, but if I looked at his phone, he hadnt. He told me I can check any time, but of course I'm sure he can edit his history. He has always told me he would never edit his history.
Recently, we had such a huge fight over all of this, to the point that I was very upset and sick about all of this, and wondering whether I could live this way. He promised that he would do his best to stay away, that he would massively cut back.
Just the other night, he volunteered straight up that he "cant remember the last time he masturbated". And I havent checked his phone, or computer, so I wouldnt know, as I have been trying to trust in what he says and not focus on that.
Today, I come home from work, and while we usually spend the mornings together, he had a whole hour and a half without me. So as he had said I could, I opened up the computer.
Unfortunately for him, he wasnt smart enough to realize that if you edit your internet history, you should probably close the history tab, and click "done editing history". So its google chrome, so I immediately click "new tab" and "recently closed" and sure enough, he'd edited out looking at porn.
You know, I expected him to cut back, not become a nun. He knows that. If he's now editing though, I cant trust he's even cutting back, just that he's lying to me and humoring me. I fear if I asked over the next couple days, I would get a similar response of not remembering the last time he did it, or some such nonsense.
My question is this. Am I just supposed to find a way to accept it? I'm having a lot of trouble with this. I love him, I want to be with him, but I have a real issue with the way porn has affected our relationship, and want it at least mostly out of the equation, at least for a while. But now he's editing his history and still looking.
Do I accept it, or keep fighting? Is there even any point in fighting something when he can hide his tracks whenever he wants? I cant trust that he wont edit it, at this point.
Dear "Porn in monogamous relationships",
In most cases with porn, it is the issues between the partners that send one of them to resort to this type of release.
I would be thankful that he is only enjoying porn instead of your best friend, or neighbor. The key is to get into his hobbies with him. I know this sounds odd, and maybe because of your programming, even wrong. In order to get him to do what you want, you need to be what he wants. You need to be more entertaining, more sexy, more appealing, more erotic, etc...
Porn and gaming are an out for people who are not completely satisfied, and even bored, with what they are getting from the relationship at home.
He is trying to edit the history to avoid another argument. He wants to please you, but he is not getting from you what he needs, so he is turning to porn. This is common, more common than anyone thinks. Unfortunately, it can easily turn into a hard habit to break and causes break-ups.
I too, have a man that loves porn and online gaming. When I met him, he was isolated with Ever-quest and porn, 24/7. However, He does not spend all day playing games or watching porn anymore. Why?
I took the same advice I am giving you. Fighting will only hurt your relationship and cause him to go further into porn and gaming and result in his lying about it and trying to hide it.
Forgive him for being a man with a large libido. Then thank him for not cheating on you in order to fill his needs. Ask him to forgive you for trying to change him. If you love him the way you say you do, then get involved with him while he is engaged in his porn excursions. Break loose and have some fun, otherwise, it will get to the point that you leave him over this, and he gets further involved in them.
You can find the happy medium. Treatment is a big issue with men and women. Neither sexes seem to understand what it takes to feed their needs.
Here is a start. This book helped me in other aspects of the relationship as well.
http://blogcritics.org/books/article/ten-things-to-take-from-the/
My man never looks at another woman, he rarely uses porn without me anymore, and gaming is almost non-existent in our lives. This will take time, but soon, before you know it, things will be great. Go with the flow, and learn how to feed his needs. You have amazing power over him, but first you must be willing to submit to his basic needs. When you are able to do this, you will see a man that needs only you.
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
I've had very bad breath for as long as I can remember(LONG time!!)...I brush twice a day and floss once. I also scrape my tongue but my tongue is all white and when I scrape I can't seem to get all the white to ever come out? Everywhere I go I always have gum in my mouth cuz I know it smells bad. But my bf wants to make out with me and I'm afraid he will smell or even taste the bad breath please help!! I'm to afraid to tell my dentist:(
Dear "Stink Situation:(",
There are several causes of bad breath.
One is definitely diet related. If you are eating foods that are damaging your chromosomes, and attaching your DNA, you will get all kinds of stinks.
Here is a link for that;
http://www.dadamo.com/typebase4/typeindexer.htm
You must keep in mind that your parent's types will effect the food you eat as well.
Have you rules out gingivitis? The TV propaganda tells us that it is the leading cause of bad breath.
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
19/M
My boyfriend and I have not been dating for long, but we have known eachother for a couple of years and we both really like eachother. The only issue is that his mother detests homosexuality. It somehow came up in a conversation they were having, and she said that she would rather him be dead than gay. We used to be able to hang out when his mom was at work, but her schedule changed and we are no longer able to hang out. He harldy texts me, and we never get to be alone anymore. I love him, so much. But I don't know if it will work with his mother acting like this. We have talked about him not trying to talk to me much, but nothing has changed, and I miss hearing from him because he is perfectly fine with going a day ithout any communication and I am not. I just don't know if this will work or not. Any advice?
Dear "Stay With Him?",
Forgive her for her ignorance. She has been programmed by society. Unfortunately, she knows not what she says, for love knows no bounds. She is not a happy woman, it shows in her attitude.
I would say that your boyfriend is in worse place than you are at right now. His own flesh and blood mother, would rather see him dead and straight, than alive and happy. She has some serious programming ingrained in her core. You cannot compete with that kind of power.
Your boyfriend is hurting more than you can imagine. He needs your support right now. Maybe he needs more than a boyfriend, maybe he needs his best friend to support him and help him with the psychological issues that are going to surface. Regardless if his mother knows he is gay or not, this will destroy him if he does not have her unconditional love.
Prejudice comes in all forms, and all forms are programmed behaviors. On a more sinister note, her comment shows her feelings towards her son, and can be grounds to have him removed from her custody. However, the comment does not mean she will harm him over this issue.
What ever you do, be understanding with him. He is dying inside from her blasts on gay characters.
She is ignorant and inwittingly damaging her own son. So be sure to communicate with him as if he were emotionally broken. I think this is why you do not hear from him as much. He is hurting and cannot show it. He has regressed into himself in an attempt to hide his true nature. You represent his true nature.
He needs your help to get through this. Do not abandon him. Tell him you understand what he is going through, and you are here for him. It is going to hurt for a while, but soon you will realize your hurt is nothing compared to his right now.
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
I love animals -- and I've always loved animals. Now, I have a kitten and he's absolutely sweet, and adorable though he likes to bite and scratch me sometimes.
Regardless, I honestly just feel like hurting him but I don't know why! All sorts of things come into my mind on how I can hit him, or kill him.
And I've already a couple of times, roughly thrown him or shoved him off of me when he was jumping on my hand/fingers to bite.
I mean I also get these thoughts about my family members from time to time as well like my brother. I love him, but even sometimes I want to kill him and I get really odd thoughts like wanting to stab him while he's asleep, or this one time when I was renovating my closet.. I felt like bashing his head with a hammer while he was alseep.
I don't know what's wrong with me (besides being crazy)!
Dear "Desire to hurt my kitten and my family members",
Intrusive thoughts plague us all.
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-intrusive-thoughts.htm
Why do we get intrusive thoughts?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQAbL654PPk
http://www.lawfulpath.com/ref/sw4qw/index.shtml
Food for thought!
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
every one is full of crap because just because you feel like a nobody does not make you a nobody everyone is someone but when you are a abuse survivor it is hard to believe and
I wish I could die tonight
Dear "how can one summarize this",
Sometimes our problems seem so small when we compare them to the world at large. You are an abuse survivor, that means you have a different perspective on life and may feel down on yourself for any reason. Everything you experience builds your character. You simply need to take the rotten lemons that you have been supplied, add sugar, and make wine.
So much confusion, so much separation, so much anger builds up, and we as humans tend to turn negative and forget that we are all here together; for just a blink of an eye in the vast Cosmos of birth, life, and death.
We are all connected but are led to believe that we are separate from each other. The society that we live in is opposite of human nature. Human nature is togetherness, peace, harmony, love, and most important, forgiveness. Society is about separation through competition, chaos through war, disharmony, and hate.
Forgiveness and love bring people together.
Dying is not the answer. How you feel about yourself talks louder than your words. The energy you put off is better communicated to others than any verbal language in existence. When you feel like a nobody, your energy is actually telling others you are feeling like a nobody. Others will pick up on this and assume you 'are' a nobody.
Do not blame others, or yourself. Forgiveness for everyone is a must. When your energy is oozing with forgiveness, everyone will pick up that warm and fuzzy feeling, and be attracted to you. Love cannot live where there is no forgiveness. When you are filled with the feeling of forgiveness and love, there is no room for 'nobody feelings'. This is because positive and negative 'feelings' cannot occupy the same space.
It was hard for me to learn to forgive anyone, being an abuse survivor as well. You are better than you are feeling now. We all feel this way at times. You are not alone, "I am he as you are me and we are all together."
Love the people that are full of crap. Forgive them for being full of crap. The energy you get from forgiveness and love will give you the power to live and love life. Remember, we are all in this together, now go make wine!
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
my 29 gal. tank has been set up for over a year now. randomly, all my fish have died off but four of them. one of these, has been swimming vertically (head up) but he can swim normally just fine. when he goes back if i look closely it looks like hes shaking. ive done water changes etc why is he doing this and is he going to die?
Dear "Aquarium fish dying",
Some of the possibilities could be mollies do this because the water has dropped in it's oxygen supply
It is possible that there is a Nitrate & Ammonia imbalance.
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
Basically, I have had a facebook stalker for a good 4 months. This person would send me flirty messages, and bother me. Finally, last night they are on chat. I begin mind fucking them into telling me who it is. Things like, im so excited to know, etc. He says -
Me:do you like me or whats going on
9 hours agoPete Psa i do like you but dont wnt a relationship im more for friendly encounters i thought maybe you would want to have some fun online thought maybe you get bored sometimes
9 hours ago ME wow thats not thinking very highly of me
thats just a tiny fragment.
It continues until I find out just who it is. It is my best friend's boyfriend of three years/ one of my very good friends/ my ex's best friend. I asked him how long he has felt like this, he said he cant put a number on it. Long story short, I already lost one of our homies after he came on to me in the backseat of the car my boy at the time was driving, so I told "pete" that im not interested, and if he thinks so highly of me he should have a little respect and say something instead of jump to the busisness. I told him I am not trash, and am not sure if I will be keeping this from my bestfriend.
i have known him much longer than his girlfriend, but i am very great friends with her. ive already lied for him once. she has helped me through SO much in the passed year, i mean really this has been a very rough time lately and she is ALWAYS there. she is the only person i can count on, and i dont think i can look at her again if i keep this secret.
but i also really would rather not hurt her, they are like a married couple and have been together for 3 years and he really is the perfect guy in a sense. i just dont know whats more important, her being happy with him or her knowing how he feels about me.
Dear "Bestfriends boyfriend, being a creep",
You have gotten great advice so far. If he is flirting with you, and involved with another woman, he is not perfect, or in love with the other woman.
If he does this to her, he will do this to others. I was with a man for ten years, then I found out about his 'online adventures' that eventually led to hook-ups.
Save her now, before she spends another 7 years of her life on him and ends up having children with him. Children do not need a dad like him. He does not respect her, and he has disrespected you.
He is relying on you to keep quiet. You have once before. So he figures his girlfriend will never know since you can keep his secrets.
Be honest with everyone involved. Yourself included. Always treat those around you the way you would want to be treated. What would you have one of your girls do if the shoe was on the other foot?
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
I'm 15 and I'm going into 10th grade I've been in high school for a year now and I go to a VERY small school...and everyone except for 3 people hate me because of one mistake I made 2 years ago. And I can't really apologize to someone because its everyone who hates me because of it. I don't want to go another 3 years with everyone hating me..I know there's always gonna be someone that hates me but I don't know what to do. I've always had very low self esteem and I've always thought I was really ugly and I don't know how to change it. I've gone to councilors and they haven't helped at all. I go in my room almost everyday I think about that mistake and I often cry about it.I don't know how to fix it and I don't know if I even can fix it!?!
Dear "Will they ever forget the Past?",
We all make mistakes. How big the mistake is, seems to be the only difference. People hold onto hurt like it is glued to their soul. It is too bad that more people do not have love in their hearts.
If your mistake hurt a lot of people, then you need a way to apologize to a lot of people. If you feel that you need to apologize to the entire school, then apologize to the entire school.
With the technology that we have available to us today, you can send a message to millions of people at once. Does your school have a website? Does your school have a school newspaper? You can do anything if you really want to do it.
Sitting around for 2 years sulking about this mistake has not been good for you. You have focused so much emotional energy on something very negative that you are destroying yourself.
You must FORGIVE yourself for the mistake. Forgiveness is the key to having love in your heart. Love comes from the ability to forgive. In order for you to love yourself, you must forgive yourself. Once you forgive yourself, then others can forgive you as well. Energy is a funny thing, and your happiness is riding on your ability to forgive and move on.
The rest of the school is not losing sleep over this, but you are for sure losing more than sleep.
Your fix is to forgive yourself. Then find a means to apologize to the entire school.
No one has been harder on you than you have been on yourself. There at least three people who do not hate you.
Another three years with everyone remembering your apology, forgiving your mistake, and not hating you is better than the alternative.
Apologize anyway you can. Fliers all over the school, place an ad in the school paper, or even make a youtube video.
My point is that this grand mistake has your spirit in distress. If apologizing is the only way to de-stress, then you must find a way to apologize for the mistake.
If you think you are ugly, then everyone else will see you that way. Most people are attracted to a person's karmic energy. You are giving off "I am ugly" energy, therefor others will see an ugly you.
I was fat and ugly by the time I was 13 years old. However, I had girls picking fights with me because their boyfriends liked to hang out with me, instead of them. I learned that attitude is the key to beauty, not cosmetics, thin bodies, and tans.
A positive forgiving attitude is the key to beautiful karmic energy. See the good in everything, starting with yourself.
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
17/f
On the bottom half of my two front teeth, I have these white spots or stains. My mom says that I have them because of flouride and swallowing toothpaste when I was younger. They never bothered me because I had braces for 7 years and you couldnt see them. But now they are really noticable and I absolutely hate them.
If I try to whiten my teeth, sometimes they blend in but other times theyll really stick out, so now I just brush my teeth with baking soda before the paste to try to make the rest of the teeth whiter.
So my question is, is there anything I can do to fix thix or make them less noticable myself? Im a teen mom with two working parents, so I hate taking the time to go to dentists/doctors unless its urgent. If the only way is to go.to the dentists, what should I ask them to do?
Thanks :)
Dear "White Spots on my Teeth",
The internet is an amazing tool. For the first time in our history, we have thousands of years of information available at our fingertips.
Here are a few links I pulled for you to browse.
I included as much info as I thought might pertain to causes and treatments.
http://www.dentalfind.com/go/general-dentistry/article/white_spots_on_teeth.html
ttp://askdrellie.blogspot.com/2009/03/white-spots-on-teeth.html
http://users.forthnet.gr/ath/abyss/Dental-Fluorosis.htm
http://www.ehow.com/how_5104089_fix-dental-fluorosis.html
http://www.uiowa.edu/~c090247/ENAMEL_HYPOPLASIA.pdf
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy