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Stay With Him?
19/M
My boyfriend and I have not been dating for long, but we have known eachother for a couple of years and we both really like eachother. The only issue is that his mother detests homosexuality. It somehow came up in a conversation they were having, and she said that she would rather him be dead than gay. We used to be able to hang out when his mom was at work, but her schedule changed and we are no longer able to hang out. He harldy texts me, and we never get to be alone anymore. I love him, so much. But I don't know if it will work with his mother acting like this. We have talked about him not trying to talk to me much, but nothing has changed, and I miss hearing from him because he is perfectly fine with going a day ithout any communication and I am not. I just don't know if this will work or not. Any advice?
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Dear "Stay With Him?",
Forgive her for her ignorance. She has been programmed by society. Unfortunately, she knows not what she says, for love knows no bounds. She is not a happy woman, it shows in her attitude.
I would say that your boyfriend is in worse place than you are at right now. His own flesh and blood mother, would rather see him dead and straight, than alive and happy. She has some serious programming ingrained in her core. You cannot compete with that kind of power.
Your boyfriend is hurting more than you can imagine. He needs your support right now. Maybe he needs more than a boyfriend, maybe he needs his best friend to support him and help him with the psychological issues that are going to surface. Regardless if his mother knows he is gay or not, this will destroy him if he does not have her unconditional love.
Prejudice comes in all forms, and all forms are programmed behaviors. On a more sinister note, her comment shows her feelings towards her son, and can be grounds to have him removed from her custody. However, the comment does not mean she will harm him over this issue.
What ever you do, be understanding with him. He is dying inside from her blasts on gay characters.
She is ignorant and inwittingly damaging her own son. So be sure to communicate with him as if he were emotionally broken. I think this is why you do not hear from him as much. He is hurting and cannot show it. He has regressed into himself in an attempt to hide his true nature. You represent his true nature.
He needs your help to get through this. Do not abandon him. Tell him you understand what he is going through, and you are here for him. It is going to hurt for a while, but soon you will realize your hurt is nothing compared to his right now.
Good Luck!
Doktor Tammy
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