ask ellamouse9



read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators



I look like my mother in this picture...is that a good thing?! Lol.

I often feel like I have been through far too much for my age. I've battled depression (several times), emotionally abusive relationships, men walking all over me, an eating disorder and a suicide attempt and I still pulled through. And if I can then you can too.

I'm a great listener, so feel free to ask me anything, I WILL reply to you. Be warned though, my advice is very blunt and I'll say exactly what I think! But then 9 times out of 10 people need to hear the truth rather than be wrapped in cotton wool!
Gender: Female
Location: Bournemouth/ Lincoln, UK.
Occupation: Student
Age: 21
Member Since: February 3, 2006
Answers: 72
Last Update: February 26, 2006
Visitors: 7876

Main Categories:
General Sex Questions
Love Life
Friendship
View All

Favorite Columnists
Vikki27
lucretia
yeah, i know there's alot of questions about Valentine's already, but most are all asked by girls. but does anybody have any good ideas for a guy to get for his girlfirend? She's pretty close, and has a good sense of humor. Please try to stay away from cute/fuzzy stuff (sry, but i cant stand giving that). Thanks
19/m (link)
You're right, V-Day is sickening enough without having to get slushy presents lol. Classic cool gifts for girls are underwear (get the size right for god's sake!), jewellery and flowers (can't really go wrong there). However if you want something a little more personal how about tickets to see her favourite band play? My ex once bought me driving lessons for V-Day. Or if you're on a budget, I once bought a friend a cool bag and filled it full of tiny, inexpensive trinkets, like sweets and cute notebooks and things with her name on. Or for a special, personalised touch how about a keepsake box of her favourite band or hobby, or even a little box of memories of the two of you - with photos, poems and the like in? (Guaranteed to make her go 'awwwww'!). Hope these ideas help!


My best friend just broke up with his girlfriend and it made me really happy, does that mean that I like him? Or do you think that I'm just happy because now he'll give me more attention? (link)
That's a really tough one! How you test me lol. That can depend on a lot of things. If she was a total bitch, or he completely ignored you when they were together then yes, you are probably just happy to get your best friend back. But if you have had romantic thoughts or feelings for him then you probably do like him - though if this is the case, post break-up would not be a good time to make a move. If you ask me it's probably the first option as I reckon you'd probably have known sooner if you liked him - but if you find that you really do have feelings for him and want some advice on how to deal with it then feel free to drop me a line :)


I'm really bad at science and have a huge test! Last test I got a 41% which hurt my grade alot! I really need to do good, and I'm also on the basketball team so I need to keep my grades up. I have the notes I just can't rember and make sense of them. Any study tips anything please help. Thanks. (link)
I know how you feel - there's always going to be one shitty subject that drags down your entire average. The best thing you can do is to talk to your teacher - they may be able to arrange extra tuition for you; the very fact that you've gone to them for help means that you really care about your grades and are willing to try, and any teacher worth their salt will note this and try to help you. I highly doubt your basketball practices will have to suffer - but if you have to miss one or two practices just until this test has passed then so be it, but the main thing is to stay positive!!!


hey, do any of you know really good ways to get relaxed besides drugs? and if you do, give exact details and steps. (link)
My idea of relaxation is to have a long hot bubble bath with candles and calming music playing - in my humble opinion theres nothing better! But try not to fall asleep! :P


hey

i want to buy a new dress, and ive tried looking in stores like macys, bloomingdales, and betsey johnson, but i cant seem to find anything

Do you no of anywhere else that i can look for a dress, like a dress for a teen, nothing like prom, just a dress for sweet sixteens (link)
Unfortunately I can't help you with stores to look at as I'm from the UK. But a website I absolutely swear by is eBay - you will be absolutely amazed about the stuff you can find! I once got a beautiful red dress for what might be the equivalent of around $8. It's good as you can search by size, style and colour to find something that you'll like. Also if you're any good at needlework, or you know someone who is, you could always make it yourself - that way it can be as individual as you are!

Sorry I couldn't be of more help, but I hope you'll look into these possibilitites! :)


For valentines day, i want to attach lyrics to a love song on the card i'm giving to my boyfriend. I dont kow what song to use though. Does anyone know any cute songs that has a meaning of loving some one more than anything? Thanks so much (link)
This might sound really weird but the first lines of a song by a British Dance goup called Faithless always tug at my heart strings! It's called We Come One (and in my opinion these lyrics are better than some slushy love song!!!:


We Come One

All the subtle flavours of my life are become bitter seeds and poisoned leaves without you,
You represent what's true,
I drain the colour from the sky and turn blue without you.

Let me know if you like them! :)


ok, me and my friend took the new york specialized high school admissions test, or SHSAT. My friend also auditioned for LaGuardia. I passed the SHSAT and made it into a specialized hs, while my friend didnt pass the test OR make laguardia. I feel really bad, and I cant really comfort her becuase I made it in. She really wanted to get into a specialized hs...what can I do to comfort her? (link)
I too went to a specialised school in the UK - a Grammar School that you have to pass a test to get into, so I know for your friend to have been sitting these tests in the first place she can't be stupid! She or her parents are unlikely to set her up for failure and a lot of it proabably came down to nerves on the day, or simply that she wouldn't be prepared enough. I imagine you can appeal on one or both of these tests, or even re-sit them? If your friend really isn't as bright as you then it's probably a good thing she didn't pass - as life is hard enough without having to struggle with classwork and homework right? The sad reality of specialised schools is that they are very competitive and your friend would be in danger of falling behind if she isn't as smart. On the other hand if she IS a bright girl and it was just bad luck she failed these tests, then just remind her that she'll probably be one of the brightest people in whichever school she does end up at...and that's ALWAYS a good feeling :) Hope this helps!


i am 13, and lets just say i gotta some extra junk in the trunk, or baggage in the belly... and i would like it lose some of it before bathing suit season? does anyone have some simple tips, that wont take too much time, but are effective?

anything would be much appreciated (link)
Those suggestions are all really good ones to help lose weight - BUT! If you're only 13 years old I really shouldn't worry too much about having a few extra pounds. You'll have only just started puberty and those few extra pounds are more than likely to be puppy fat, so really just don't worry about how much you weigh right now - there may well come a timme in a few years or so where you find yourself too skinny!!! But if you really do want to shed a few extra pounds then the absolute best way to do it is some exercise every day - it worked for me! I go to the gym and play rugby about 3 or 4 times a week and by doing just this I lost about 6 pounds in 3 weeks. This also means you get to eat pretty much whatever you want (yay!), you'll feel healthier, plus you get nice and toned for the bathing suit season, which in my eyes is far more important than a bit of extra weight. Hope this helps :)


I have a terrible friend who thinks shes cool and hates me and my friends. She always hangs out with us and then talks about us behind our backs to US! I got into a fight with her(because Im the only one who will stand up for myself) and I hate having people hate me so i appologized and she just forgave me like that! (She said "I forgive you, HUG!") It bothers me and now were back to her using me and my friends and she thinks shes popular. What should I do? (link)
Five words honey - SHE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND! Think about it, would you treat any of your friends like this? No, neither would I. She is simply using you for whatever reason she sees fit - you wouldn't let a guy treat you like this so don't let some girl push you around! Ditch this loser - if she bitches constantly about you and your friends she can't want to be friends with you at all!


In your opinion (meaning that if you tell me what you think you'll get a 5), do you think that people should miss out on church in order to do yardwork, study for an exam, play in a soccer tournament, etc? I just want to know what qualifies as an acceptable excuse for not going to church. What other good reasons are there for missing church? -no I'm not trying to avoid going to church-

Thanks! (link)
I'm no Christian, but in my humble opinion you don't need to attend a place of worship to show your faith. Quiet praying and comtemplation by yourself should (in the eyes of God) serve the same purpose, as just because you don't attend a communal place of worship it doesn't mean that your faith is any less strong. It's hard to live your life to the full these days and still find time to go to church, so if you ask me anything that is important to you inn life is an acceptable excuse; for instance God wouldn't want you to mess up an exam cos you had to attend Church instead of revising, now would he?!


Okay well I like this girl and she's a junior (yes I'm a girl too and I'm in 8th grade) but she has a boyfriend. I need help because I want to know if there's anyway I can forget about her because I know she'll never like me like that. But I really need help because I'm friends with this girl and I see her a lot so I need to stop thinking about her like that. Okay any advice would be cool and if you're only gonna say how girls liking girls is gross wrong etc don't cause ive heard it before and you can't change my mind. (link)
Unfortunately for you, girls your age can't seem to understand how you can be attracted to people of the same sex. It's fantastic that you can willingly accept yourself at such a young age, but be warned that not everyone else will be able to accept you this way, so it may not be a good idea to confess all. The best way to move on from someone is to start seeing other people (if you're bisexual it helps as you have more choice lol), or if this isn't possible then you should throw yourself into your schoolwork or extracurricular activities. If you can manage it too I'd suggest you didn't see this girl for a while until you have something or someone else to occupy yourself. Hope this helps :)


okay my boyfriend (we were dating for 6 months) and he broke up with me saturday! well he already has another girlfriend! and i want him back because i am sick of crying every night and i miss him! how do i get him back he already misses me he said but he said that he likes the other girl too! and so i want ihm to break up with his girlfriend now and go back out with me how do i make him realize he should break up with her for me? and how do i make him realize how much he misses me!? (link)
Simple answer? You can't. If he can't choose between a loving girlfriend and some other random girl then he's clearly not worth your time. Don't take any of his shit; go out and have a good time - it'll remind him what fun you were and what he's missing. And IF he comes running back, make him grovel - you don't know this won't happen again!!!


First off, I've been single for a really long time. Last week I met a really great guy. I have really high expectations and he met almost every one of them. Anyway, I know I kinda brought it upon myself but I sent him one of those typical surveys about "what you would do" and "do you like me" types of things. He marked that he wanted a fling with me but not an actual relationship. Should I go for the fling, do what a I want and have a valentine this year or just stay friends and be alone for a really long time? If it helps, I go to an all girls high school & see guys.. never. I'm 15 & female. thanks! (link)
Well I went to an all-girls school too, so I can completely relate to how you feel, it really sucks huh? Flings are fine at that age, but it depends on how far you're willing to take it. I mean I doubt you'd be ready to have sex with a guy you've only known for a week, but unfortunately most guys see no-strings sex as a definition of a fling. You won't be alone for a really long time, but I can understand that you want to grab this chance while you have it as boys are a bit thin on the ground in your school! My advice? By all means have a fling but never do anything you're not comfortable with. This boy will certainly not be the last one you meet, so save yourself for someone special.


I really hate saying this and even admitting to myself that I have feelings with the same sex as me...a girl..not really a girl but a boyish one. Maybe i started to like her because she's really a caring person and is sensitive to other's feelings. When we talk, I feel as if my problems would go away and feel alighted. But then the problem is aside from the gender, she does have a relationship with another girl. I don't know when she think that i might have feelings for her but she did at one time. When she somewhat think, she showered me with many attention..but I think with my head than my heart, I know it's wrong so I kind of avoided her. When she talks to me, I don't have the same enthusiasm as before. By what I did she maybe realize that she "mistakenly" interpret my feelings. There was a time I really avoided her. but when she was absent I had a tantrum and I miss her. This is wrong I know it. That's why I wish people could help me on what should I do..I think avoiding is not a solution. Saying it either is a big mistake. (link)
Don't forget there is different levels of feeling for someone of the same sex. I'm straight but I am attracted to girls - I even slept with one once! But I know I'm not bisexual because I simply don't really wish to repeat the experience. By all means experiment with this girl if she feels the same (though maybe not while she has a gf). Experimentation is pretty much the only way that you'll get to know your true self, and remember - there's nothing at all wrong with the way you feel about her. If you're a lesbian or bisexual it's in your genes anyway so there's nothing you can do about it. Just enjoy life and enjoy who you are...


Alright so Im kinda skinny and people tell me alot that if I put on some weight id be alot prettier.

so my question is. what is a healthy way i can put on some weight. I want some junk in my trunk and some nice legs and all of that. Bigger breasts and all (link)
I agree you should see a doctor or a nutritionist. But also it will depend on how old you are. Many people go though puberty late, even if you're 16/17 you still might not have filled out properly - scientists say we don't stop growing till we're 21!!! So bear this in mind, as all you might need to do is wait a few years :)


hey my name is jess i really like this kid john. He told me that he liked me but also this other girl. I told him i liked him and ive been waiting for him to make the next move. Im scared that if i let ut my true feelings to him he will say that he likes that other girl more. its soo hard sitting hear waiting for him to actually tell me if he likes me or not. i dont just wanna ask him because its wierd. someone please help me
thank you,
jess (link)
Yeah, you could get someone else to ask him. Yeah, you could sit around waiting for him to come to you. But you're worth more than that. This guy should be CHASING you. Sounds to me like he wants to keep his options open in case one of you says 'no' to him. Forget about him and find someone worthy of your time!


ok so im a 14 year old girl. and i know i have a lot of time to get a boyfriend but here it goes..

there are these two really obnoxious girls in my grade and the guys always swarm over them. i really dont even understand why. they are really fake and agressive like always touching them and stuff and they wear so much make up and like brand name clothes and stuff like that. they are also both really concieted so i dont understand why the guys would like them. like im friends with the guys too but thats just it im FRIENDS with them so none of them would even see me as being their girlfriends. i cant help it i dont know why i keep being in the position as the "friend" never the "girlfriend". i mean im kind of shy and im not the kind of girl who will just throw myself at the guys. thats not who i am and i dont want to be a fake person.

also when these two girls are talking to the guys i dont know what to do. i mean i dont want to just go over there because it would be akward and like the girls would give me looks but like these girls are with the guys liek 24/7 and the guys are always together as one group so i dont want to like shut myself out from talking to them either because then nothing will every happpen. ill never have a boyfriend!!

ugh. please help =(
(link)
There's a girl like this at my work. Loud, obnoxious, pretty, wears loads of make-up, bitchy, bleached blonde. When we all sit together at lunch the guys fawn all over her. But you know what? Not many of them actually like her. You have the upper-hand honey. It shows that guys like your personality - and that's FAR better than being someone you're not. Plus, you just don't know that these guys don't like you...have you ever asked one of them out? Don't worry about what these girls think of you - as a female you're automatically the enemy to them but that shouldn't stop you from hanging out with your friends.


17/f
My boyfriend's favorite animal is a cow, and we have inside jokes about it. I was thinking of getting him a stuffed cow and chocolates for Valentines Day. But I was wondering, do guys like getting stuffed animals from girls? I mean he's kind of like a "man's man." And I've been dating him for 5 months, so do you think chocolates and a stuffed cow would be enough? Or should I get him more? Or maybe make him dinner along with the stuffed cow and chocolates? Or would that be too much? Help! (link)
He may be a "man's man" but deep down he's more likely to be just a big softie. I think it's a fantastic idea - and I'm positive he'll really appreciate the sentimentality of the gift. But I think he should be taking YOU out to dinner! :P


Is it common for girls to not be attracted to guys (age 14)? They all seem too immature in school and I'm not like those other girls that think every dude is "hot". I'm not concerned about this, I don't care If I have a bf or not but I was just wondering if this is common (and I'm not gay, I know that). It's a bit hard to explain in detail but in short, guys aren't intresting... At least not yet. (link)
Sounds to me like you're wise beyond your years lol. It's kinda like me...everyone says being a student is the BEST - going out and getting drunk and partying all the time. But you know what? I am B-O-R-E-D of it! I did it for two years and now I finally graduate in 6 months to actually do something worthwhile with my life. And it's like that - we're both too grown up for all this rubbish. Seems odd doesn't it? But be glad you're not one of the many who finds every guy "hot" and winds up a teenage mum. You're doing good kid, and one day you will find someone that is worthy of your time.


ah ok.. i know this might not be such a "wonderful" question but i've been wondering this for like ever. ok i have big nipples..[i know your like ew..but yea] i feel so self-conscious about them and i hate it! is this normal..does every girl have it? do guys like bigger ones or? i feel like im the only one and it bothers me so much.. ah.

thx for any help! (link)
Well I don't know whether you're at the age to be sleeping with guys or not but let me assure you...as long as you're naked a guy DOES NOT CARE about the size of your nipples! They will be too busy absorbing all the nakedness lol. And you certainly won't be the only one to have big nipples - they come in all sizes! There's absolutely no reason to feel self-concious so please stop worrying! :P




read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker