Hi everyone, my name is Ediemarie and I am only here to help. I offer this help to anyone who needs objective advice. Don't be too embarrassed or proud to ask me anything. I will answer all questions. If there is something that you just want me to answer, just email me and I promise I will get back to you as soon as I can.
No question is too simple or silly.
Check out my blog on blogspot! (Chattin With Libra Rajani)librarajani.blogspot.com
Website: Chattin With Libra Rajani
E-mail: librarajani@gmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Midwest
Occupation: homemaker/writer
Member Since: August 13, 2008
Answers: 206
Last Update: April 22, 2010
Visitors: 14121
Main Categories:
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my life is crazy when it comes to guys. i can't seem to settle down with just one, so i feel the need to talk to many. ive been talking to one of the guys for over 6 months, he really likes me. and i like him too. but then again i think im falling for my best friend. also, there's new guys that come into my life. im out of control. i dont really go on dates with them, or hook up with them much. i just talk to them constantly. sometimes i hang out with them. and they do kiss me or so, but its nothing big. i think im like this because my past relationship really scarred me. i dont trust guys. but i dont know what to do anymore. help? thank you (link)
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Hi,
well at least you know why you're doing it. I say go for it. You're young, you're not looking to get married. If you feel like you want a change, do it. Make sure you try to tell whoever you're dealing with that you're not looking for anything serious. You're just trying to figure things out. That ways no one gets hurt.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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There are two really cute guys that like me and i like them but I cant decide!!! There both friends and on the same team my friends say go for the cuter one and my other friends say who you like more, but i dont know who!!! And worst of all i'm a cheerleader so i see them after school and cheer for them both how can i know who to pick. (link)
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Hi,
that is a tricky situation that you are in. Are you sure you want to come between guys that are friends? It may cause trouble for you down the line. I think that's the first question you should think about.
They're probably talking about which one is going to win you over. Most guys in that situation do that considering their age.
Whoever you choose, be cautious of the repercussions. You may be setting yourself up for heartache. Just something to think about. I hope this helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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When my boyfriends sucking me it feels so incredibly good yet I always am making him stop its like the peasure is too intense. What could be the reason? (link)
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Hi,
try suggesting that he slow down and then pick the intensity back up. It's also great foreplay. That might help.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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I tend to break out on my cheeks alot. My face is clear everywhere but there and nothing seems to help. I've tried different washes and spot treatments, and they just won't go away. Does anyone have any recommendations for good products that have helped? Or any home remedies too? Thanks! (link)
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Hi,
try Proactive. It really seems to be the cure for a lot of people, plus it gets delivered right to your door. You can also choose which product you like. Try the basic products, cleanser, toner, lotion for now. I hope it works for you.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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me and my best guy friend liked each other for a long time but didnt tell each other until last year. he was with his on again off again girlfriend at the time though but it wasn't a good relationship. they've been "together" on and off for about 4 years and i absolutely hate her. not because she's the girlfriend of the guy i like but
A) she makes him miserable
B) i can't stand her personality
Everyone knows that we can not be in the same room together.
anyway he finally broke up with her in october and then we got together unofficially a week later. we were together for a month(unofficially). he said i was 'his girl' and he was 'my guy' but we werent boyfriend/girlfriend. People thought of us as the married couple, just two people who are completely best friends, argue and fight but completely love each other and it just worked. we all knew we were perfect for each other and it was the most amazing undescribable relationship i've ever had. then it ended unexpectedly when he felt it was weird because we were friends. to this day his explanation feels a little sketchy. i dont know how anyone could feel weird after a month of kissing and being together daily. But thats not the point. after we "broke up" our friendship got really weird. and he was my absolute best friend so it was really hard to deal with that because i couldn't go to him like i normally would.
so now its been three months after the 'break up' and we're slowly getting back to what we used to be but he's back with that girlfriend so it's hard. i'm 95% over him but i miss him SO much. we havent hung out since november and i haven't had a real conversation with him since then either. He was such a perfect boyfriend.
he would bring me all over the place to show me off and introduce me to his friends. he would text or call me at all hours of the day to tell me he loves and missed me. he took care of me when i was sick, made me breakfast, supported me in anything i did, knew all of my favorite songs and would play them when we were in the car together.his favorite thing to do was sit on the couch and hold me in his arms for hours. not to mention his family absolutely loved me and would have planned the wedding at any moment.
For anyone who's read Twilight, he was my Edward.
So i miss him so much and all i want is our friendship to get back to the way it was. I date and go out with guys its not like im waiting for him to come back to me. i just dont know how to make our friendship better. (link)
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Hi,
unfortunately that's what happens when best friends try to make the relationship romantic. That's a chance that you take.
I don't know him personally, but he probably felt that since the two of you got along so well and cared about each other so much, you would be terrific romantically.
I guess when he felt it wasn't working out the way he thought and he didn't know how to handle it.
It becomes awkward and it's hard to get back what you had. It takes time because you've done things that friends don't do. His girlfriend may also be playing a part in this. If she knows about the two of you, it can be a problem.
I would suggest talking to him about it saying exactly what you've said here. I'm sure he misses you too and wants the friendship back. I hope I helped you.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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before my current boyfriend, i had slept with two guys.
one guy twice, and one guy once, so only 3 times.
my boyfriends good in bed, but even though its feels good,
i never orgasm from him.
i've actually never orgasmed during sex...
am i doing something wrong or what?
i don't want to say anything to him because i don't want him to think he's doing a bad job.
any help would be much appreciated. (link)
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Hi,
you're right. It's not necessarily his fault. Most guys, especially young ones don't bring a woman to orgasm. Most of them don't even know where it is.
The best thing you can do is to tell him where it is and he can either manually stimulate it for you or make sure that he is in direct contact with it during sex. Sometimes that can be difficult.
However, if you choose to do it manually, it can be quite fun and it will make the sexual experience much more fulfilling. Try it. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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I am returning to my country late in Feb.
Girl 1
Met on family trip. Spent day together walking around town, sharing looks, smiles, going "click". My father said he could see it even while around her parents.
Lives far away, so I haven't seen her. No English, and I am a slow writer, but we've shared short "Hey it's ... Remember me?"
"Yes, perfectly, I'm well..." messages.
I told her that I wanted to see her again before I leave, and she said O.k.
I won't see her for at least a year maybe longer before I come back from my home-town.
Girl 2
Found me (Going to my town for exchange study). Said she wanted to practice English, but speaks in her mother-tongue to me. Not reaching ignition. Been around her plenty, but don't feel like I can get near her personal space. Has come over several times for dinner, but we don't end up talking about personally important things. Stagnating, and don't want to turn the basis of our relation into inviting her for dinner. Hasn't invited me to her place. Only initiated one meeting, but it was on Christmas day, to give me a present of a personally-annotated novel (which I'd joked about ages ago). Annotating it must have taken ages, but I don't know if it's a friendly "I'll help you learn" thing, or an "I like you, look what I did for you" thing.
Only free time I have to visit Girl 1 is 10-20 of Feb.
Likes me in return. I could go be with her over Valentines day, but then I am throwing the day away in relation to Girl 2. It could be the death-knell of potential I have with her, and extremely awkward if she asked me to be her Valentine.
Considering asking Girl 2 to be my valentine to see if I can make the "relation" a "relation-ship", but will become awkward if she says no, and hurt potential for development. If she says yes, I would feel terrible seeing Girl 1, but I just want to so much.
a few sure days, or ambiguous long-term potential.
What do you think I should do?
Thanks (link)
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Hi,
I think you should follow your heart and go with girl 1. It seems to me that girl 2 is a bit stand-offish. I wouldn't waste my time.
Girl 1 seems like she is definitely worth it. The fact that you don't want to hurt her is a clue. don't you think. You already have feelings for her, even if it is unclear where you are going.
Girl 2 already told you that she wants to practice her "English"?
Figure out who makes you feel happy? Who do you think about? Hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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Okay , so i lost my virginity on the 16th and since then ive had pains where girls usually get pains when or before you get your period and also everytime i get up i feel liquid come out and its like alot and it hasent stopped and its been 2 days but the pains are on and off. Is this normal ? (link)
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Hi,
This is very normal. When you are about to start your period, your body goes through hormonal changes and you have a discharge especially before you are getting ready to start.
I don't know if you used protection or not, but if you didn't, you could be discharging sperm. This is also normal.
I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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Hi, ok so i am a 20 year old female, and i just found out im pregnant. i know who the father is. we have been together going on 3 months. i used to love him but dont really love him anymore. we have many issues and just dont seem to work very well anymore. he loves me to death, and i know he does. he wants to be with me and spend his life with me.. but i dont.. and the issue is.. so im pregnant now. but i dont want to stay with him. he wants to move in together.. be there for me and be the father... be involved in everything. and i have no problem with him being involved.. but i dont want to live with him or be with him.. and i dont know how to tell him. i have tried but he doesnt listen.. and there is more.. and bigger issues.... im not from here (the usa) i am from mexico. i always had plans to go back home (mexico) but things always came up and so i wasnt able to go home. and now im pregnant. but i dont want to stay here.. i want to go back home and be with my family and friends..but its so wrong leaving.. because he is the father and he has a right to be in this babies life.. but i dont want to stay in the USA.. and there isnt a way for him to go to mexico.. he says he can.. but i dont want him living with me at my house.. he doesnt speak spansh so wont be able to work... so no way to pay for all his expenses for him and for our child.. i dont know what to do... =/ if i stay here im leaving my family and friends and my life.. and not going to be happy at all.. i dislike it here so much and dont want to be here.. but if i go home (mexico) im taking him away from his child which is wrong so much... i have no idea what to do.... =( (link)
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Hi,
I am sympathetic to your situation and I feel for you. You have to have a heart to heart with him and tell him the truth. You have to make him understand how you feel and why you feel that way. Tell him the same thing you wrote in your letter.
There are plenty of ways for him to stay in your child's life. You can work anything out if you want it bad enough.
The only thing I'm not sure of is his rights to visitation if you leave the U.S. Things could get tricky. Make sure you check into that.
If you don't do what makes you happy, you are going to regret it and make yourself miserable. You have to think about your child as well. I hope this helped you.
I wish you good luck,
Ediemarie
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Well. Theres this guy and omg he is just amazing. But theres one problem i like him but im really confused because i talk to him on yahoo messenger and myspace etc. and like i get along with him on there more than i do in person. We dont really talk in person. And his friends told me he's gonna ask me out on Valentines Day. But idkk. How can i start talking to him in person? Because everytime i try to he just like ignores me basicalyy. (link)
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Hi,
Humm, that sounds kind of weird to me. The only thing I can think is that is just as nervous as you are when it comes to talking to you in person. A lot of people are that way. They find it easier to express themselves when they are writing. That way they don't have to give you eye to eye contact. It's just insecurity.
The only way you can do it is to break the ice and start talking. Say to him, "I guess the both of us are kind of nervous in person. That should do it and get you off to a good start. Hope I helped! :)
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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14/f
freshman
okay so im 160 and 5'4
i know thats overweight but im seriously working on it and improving. i honestly dont think im ugly,but i know im not beautiful. i get a lot of comments on my green eyes. so thats good. oh and i have brown and (with a cute haircut:). okay so my problem is last year in eighth grade i had 2 bestfriends and we stopped being friends for whatever reason i dont even know. so this year im stuck with very few friends. and i really want more, a lot more. but the thing is im super quiet and shy unless i get to know you then i cant shut up. so my first question is how can i get more friends and be less quiet and shy?!?!?
alright my second problem is i dont have ANY guy friends and i want a boyfriend SO BAD! you dont even know... so like how can i get guy friends or even boyfriends?!?! like the only guys numbers i have are reletives.. and im 14! thats rediculus...
well the only time guys talk to me is to ask me a question on school work or something because they think im smart just cuz i have glasses. but im getting clear contacts in march(:
so i mean its hard because i want all of this so bad! what do i do. and i cant talk to my mom because i dont live with her, and im a total daddys girl. and he will like chop me up and eat me for breakfast if i even mention dating (well i think) cuz he thinks im a super good girl.
sooooooo ya please help me, im desperate!! (link)
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Hi,
you sound very cute. There are a lot of young girls in the same situation that you are in. I was one of them. The only thing you can do to overcome your shyness is to be more comfortable with yourself and that takes time. You have to be more confident in who you are and have pride in that. That doesn't happen overnight. I assume this has a little to do with your insecurities about your weight. You have to stop telling yourself that you are not beautiful. If you don't think it, no one else is either.
You have to put yourself out there in social situations and just be yourself. There's nothing wrong with standing back and checking out who a person is, but put yourself out there too. Let people see the real you; show them that you can be fun and have a good time. The more you do that, the better you will become at it. You will soon be a social butterfly!
As far as guys are concerned, I wouldn't worry too much. That will also come in time. You will become more comfortable with them in social situations and friendships will form. You will find one that you like and the right one will like you in return. I hope this helped.
Good luck
Ediemarie
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My friend is having an affair with a married man. I found out he is also having an affair with another woman at the same time. Should I tell my friend? She keeps suggesting this man loves her and will leave his wife for her; however, I know he is giving the other woman the same line. He bought my friend a clock radio for Christmas, he bought the other woman a brand new Mustang. What should I do??? (link)
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Hi,
you should definitely tell your friend that she is making a costly mistake and to end the relationship. First of all, they never leave their wives. It's just a line to string her along. The fact that he is cheating on his wife with who knows how many women shows his character. Ask her if she is sure she wants to be with someone who is so disrespectful. Her self-esteem must be really low for her to be involved with such a person.
She deserves to be with someone who only has her on his mind. Definitely tell her what you find out. It may hurt her now and she may even call you a liar, but she will be better off in the long run and she will thank you for it. You owe it to her to tell her the truth. I hope this helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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Alright. This will be long. Brace yourselves. I started seeing this guy over the summer and it started out as a fling. I am a senior in high school and he is a senior in college. He lives 10 minutes away from me, but he goes to college across the country. When we first started seeing each other, both of us thought it would be just a fun hook-up thing, and nothing more, especially because of our 4-year age difference. We both thought when summer was over, that would be that, and we'd never see each other again.
Turns out, we liked each other more then we expected. We texted and messaged daily for the past few months while he was away at college, and we told each other how we couldn't wait to see each other again. A couple of weeks ago he came home for winter break. We hung out almost every day, and he even met each other's families. Plus, he wanted to introduce me to his brother and friends which I see as a good sign. We admitted to each other that we like each other a lot. He isn't one to say cheesy or corny things and he is always honest, so when he says he likes me, I know he means it. I love seeing him and he loves seeing me. The age thing doesn't phase us anymore, either.
We'd go out and have fun and we'd stay in and have fun too. We basically can't get enough of each other. He left a few days ago to go back to school and it made me sad. I even cried a little, but not in front of him. Neither of us like saying goodbye. We're still contacting and I assume we will every day just like before when he was away. He will come back in a few months for spring break and then again for summer vacation not long after. I'm assuming we will still be seeing each other throughout all of that time.
Don't get me wrong, though, we are not technically dating, like boyfriend and girlfriend. I guess you would say we are seeing each other. Maybe dating. Just not "officially". Because of this, I don't know if he is hooking up with other girls or not. He doesn't know if I'm hooking up with guys either. I wouldn't, though, and I don't think he would either. It's kind of an unspoken thing. I just... trust him. And since we're not technically dating, I guess I couldn't get mad if he hooks up with some girl anyways.
Sorry, I'm getting a little off track. The thing is, I really think I am falling for him. I have learned from experience not to put my heart on the line and jump into things, so for me to say that I am falling for him is a pretty big thing. I look at guys at my high school and i just have absolutely no interest. However, I'm going to college next year, and I want to have fun. I'm not saying I want to go and hook up with guys nonstop, but I want to have the fun college experience that everybody should have. But, at the same time, I don't want to ruin my chances with him. I'm worried that I'll decide to forget about him and have fun in college and then realize that he is the only one I want to be with. I don't think I could forget about him, though.
Also, I don't know what he is going to think when I go to college. I don't know if he will assume it is over or what. I want to stay with him but i don't want to miss out on college experiences. It's so hard! I need help. I know it may have seemed unnecessary for me to include all of that text, but I think background info. is important. Thanks so much. I appreciate it! (link)
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Hi,
I completely understand your dilemma. That's a tough situation to be in. For me, I think the first thing you should do is to get clear with each other. You can't do or assume anything until you find out where you stand. Sure, it's fun and exciting to keep doing what you are doing. However, you are right when you say that you would have no voice if he were to start seeing someone else. You wouldn't have a leg to stand on. On the other hand, neither would he if it were reversed.
You could always agree to have an open relationship, where you see other people. There could be a number of different ways to play it.
If you want to enjoy the college experience, you should; especially if that includes seeing other guys. If you really want that and don't do it, you will regret it and you can't get it back.
If it's meant to be, maybe the two of you will hook up at another time.
Like I said, whatever you decide, you have to find out if and what kind of relationship the two of you have. You can't decide anything on assumptions. You need to make an educated decision. I hope this helped you.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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well lately i've been watching like lesbian porn. ones with just females in it or just one female herself. & I enjoy it! A LOT. thing is though I absolutely love MALES! like everything about them . well not everything about them. yeah though . like sometimes it freaks me out about dating a female but if it freaks me out why do I like lesbian porn?
sorry if this confuses . i'm just saying what's in my head (link)
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Hi,
you didn't say how old you were, but either way it just sounds as though you have a normal curiosity. Lots of things turn people on. Just because you like looking at it doesn't mean you are a lesbian. Sexual things turn us on no matter what the sex is. It's normal. I wouldn't worry about it.
However, if you feel like you want to be with a woman in the future, then that's something different. In any case, be true to yourself and be proud. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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15/F
I've always had this icky gooey stuff coming out. Like, all the time. I have to wear a panty liner every day and change it at night and stuff because so much comes out!
I haven't smelled it and I'd rather not try to. It's always clear but if I don't change my liner for a few hours then it'll leave behind like a yellowish tint I guess, and it comes out on the toilet paper after I go potty and stuff :X
But I have good hygeine, trust me. Like I use little wipes and stuff, usually the Always kind or Fresh n' Up. And I had an infection down there when I was really little and I'm SO NOTT about to go in for a "check up".
Does anyone have any idea as to how I could fix it a bit, or make this situation a bit more comfortable? Thanks! (link)
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Hi,
I'm not absolutely sure about what you may have because I'm not a doctor. However, since it's clear, it doesn't sound like it's anything too serious. Most of the time a normal discharge will dry yellow.
Each woman is different and so is their discharge. Some women have more than others. I don't know when your last doctor's visit was, but maybe you should go just to give yourself piece of mind. I don't think it's anything to worry about.
If I had to guess, it could probably be a yeast infection since you have to change your liner so often. This is easy to cure. Don't worry. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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Well my question is about calories.
I've been working out at the gym for quite some time now but I don't really see much progress so I want to try a diet.
Now could somebody advice me how many calories I can consume if I work out for about 2 hours a day(including sauna in those 2 hours,if that matters)
And also : when I drank some coke today I saw this displayed on the can : 0.5 kcal
Now I'm in a science education and I know k stands for calories.
So that means there are 500 calories in that coke?(not diet or anything,just a regular coke)
I mean,isn't that really really much? :|
I've heard of diets where you can only consume about 1000 calories a day,so that's equal to 2 sodas,and that's equal to MADNESS!! (link)
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Hi,
first of all I would like to know what kind of coke you are drinking that has 500 calories because I am going to make sure that I stay away from it.
Most soft drinks only have about 120 calories. You did say it was a regular can, right?
As you probably know, losing weight is burning more calories than you take in. If you haven't seen the results you want from the gym, you are still taking in too many calories.
Try to start keeping a daily log of what you eat and what the calories are. Try to burn more than that with your exercise. Also, diets always work better when you combine them with exercise. Working out builds muscle which burns calories even when you're not working out. Try to cut one thing out of your diet like coke for instance or chips or bread. Drink more water throughout the day to keep you full. These are just a few suggestions. I hope I helped:)
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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I met a really great guy through a friend. I was on a trip and roomed with her and got to hang out with him everyday for about 3 days. Then, the next week I got to hang out with him for a whole day because we had to sing in a concert together. He was really sweet and I started to think he liked me. Whenever we were with everyone, he would talk to me and we'd kind of drift away from everyone else. We had some really good intellectual conversations, and we have a lot in common. He'd let me wear his sweatshirt if I was cold and hugged me a lot. I had only known him for a day and he asked me for my number. He goes to a different school, so I never see him, but we used to text each other. Then things went bad. There was a picture of us on facebook, and some of our friends were joking around and commenting things like, "oooohh look at the secret lovers" and stuff like that. Then one day, I log in and we're suddenly not facebook friends anymore. I think he might have blocked me? It might have because now things are awkward because of the picture? What should I do? I really miss him and want to be friends again. He was the closest thing to a boyfriend I've ever had. (link)
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Hi,
since you're not facebook friends, you mentioned that the two of you use to text each other. Have you tried that? Why don't you try that and ask him was there something that went wrong between the two of you that you aren't aware of? If there is, what can the two of you do to work it out. Tell him that although the two of you haven't known each other for very long you enjoyed and valued his friendship. See how that works out. If he doesn't respond, I would just chalk it up to something that didn't work out. It would be pretty rude of him not to respond. It doesn't seem like you did anything wrong in the first place. I hope it works out for you.
Good luck,
ediemarie
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17/f-- I have acne on my shoulders and chest. What are some products that you have tried that worked? There dosn't seem to be as many prodcuts for body acne than face acne, and they are not really advertised, so I have no idea what to go for. I use Neutrogena for my face and it really works, Its not perfect but its a big improvement, so I tried the Neutrogena body acne wash, and it helped only a little bit. But its normal to have a little acne on your face (for a teenager), plus you can cover that with makeup, but the amount I have on my shoulders is embarrasing. Plus on my face, I have like small pimples/blackheads, but on my chest it is like fairly large pimples which is just discusting. So, what products?? (besides Neutrogena- tried it.) (link)
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Hi,
you are not alone. Many teenagers and adult have this problem with acne that also involves the chest, shoulders, and back.
I had it myself when I was a teenage and still have occasional breakouts. I am currently using Proactive. I hear it doesn't work for everyone, but it has worked pretty well for me. They also offer a body wash. It might work for you as well. I think the key is you have to use the wash in conjunction with applying the cream to the affected area as well. I hope it works. Acne is a pain in the a**
Good luck,
Ediemarie
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i had a tab (speed based) friday night around 10 and it was my first time. i didnt go to sleep that night and my jaw all the way up to my temples hurt really bad! is it from chewing gum for many hours? and then saturday night i went to a party and got drunk and my jaw still hurts! it hurts to the point where i cant eat so i havent eaten an actual meal since friday afternoon. i have to be really careful when i shampoo my hair and it hurts when i open my mouth wide. it hurts really bad like sore wise.
why is that? and when will it go away? (link)
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Hi,
it sounds like you have a problem with the muscle around your jaw bone. It could also be caused from grinding your teeth at night. In either case,it is easily rectified and you should see a dentist so that he can help you feel better. Don't worry, the pain is actually worse than the diagnosis. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Edidmarie
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First off, I'm 26, and been single for about 5 years. I have great friends, most of them females all of which I trust with my life. I care for these females, I know, deeply so why do I continue to hurt them emotionally. To keep it short, I use women. I don't like doing it but for some reason I just can't stop. These women are really good friends with me and I've been there for them when ever they needed me. They take good care of me and vise versa. I've become emotionally attached to everyone of them, 6 to be exact. Every time I try to reduce the relationship to just being friends it never works, we always windup back sleeping together. My friends tell me that I'm living the dream. I call a girl up and she's willing to do whatever for me. But I get tired of it and want to be left alone. I like solitude and at the same time I love the attention these women give me. But the attention gets to a level where I begin to get irritated and I snap for no reason at the smallest thing they do wrong. Now, I don't hit women and never will, but for some reason I constantly abuse them mentally. I hate myself for doing it, but why do I continue to do it, I don't know. It's killing on the inside and I don't know how to stop it. I've tried talking to the females I mess around with, but they just keep coming back to me. I don't want to just move away and loose them forever, but I don't want to keep hurting them the way I do. I need help, why do I continue hurt these women the way I do. My life growing up was great and It's great now. I have my own car, apartment, and a good job, but for some reason I still have an emptiness in my life that just can't be filled. There's no reason for me to be doing this. So why do I continue to mentally abuse the women I sleep with, why? (link)
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Hi,
I think that it is at least good that you are admitting that you have a problem. The first thing would suggest is that you go cold turkey. I know that it's easier said than done, but you have to be the one to make the first step, obviously they never will.
Some people say that you are attracted to who you are. I think this is the case with you. They are not going to leave you because they are just like you and probably have the same insecurity issues that you have.
The reason you are abusing them is because you are getting something from it. It is making you feel good in some way. If it weren't, you wouldn't be doing it. That's what you need to figure out for yourself. If you care about these women the way you say you do, you will not want to hurt them in this way.
You should take a break and be alone for a while. Take some time to make yourself happy. Whether you want to believe it or not, you are not happy inside. Once you are, you will treat them better. I hope this helped.
Good luck to you and your special friends,
Ediemarie
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