Member Since: January 6, 2005
Answers: 90
Last Update: January 30, 2005
Visitors: 4718
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Well, My friend and i were just in a fight and recently we just made up. I still feel I don't trust him and that I kinda don't want to be friends anymore. He ALWAYS hurts the one he loves the most and then regrets it. He has done it to me way to many time and it has gone to far. Should I end the friendship because I don't want to get hurt again or should i keep with the frienship. I kinda feel like I am being used for advice, Help, support, and love and I know that is the meaning of the friendship but he expresses it in a different way... I know I said to him that I never wanted anything to come between us and never to have brake a relationship and I have always been the one keeping the friends together.. Should I stay friends or Not?? (link)
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Doesn't sound like much of a real friendship anymore to me, at least not a 2-way one anyway. Since he has broken your trust in him so many times, it might be time to step back and take a break from the closeness of your relationship. Depending on how long the friendship has been and how deep it has been, I'm not sure ending it would be a good idea until you have a chance to look at from a more objective point of view. You might write the pros and cons of your friendship. What does he bring to it? What do you bring to it? What is good about it? What is not so good about it? Then weigh it. It wouldn't be a bad idea for both of you to do it individually and then together, that is, if you are really interested in saving this friendship. If he doesn't see anything wrong with it, then it's up to you. It's tough, but it may be the best in the long run. Good luck.
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im in my upper 30 so it is not like im a teen my boyfriend that i live with is not giving me what i need (passion) tried everything well that is except cheating on him to get what i need my problem is if i get caught he will leave me or throw me out i want to have all the passion but i dont wanna get thrown out for it what should i do i have not had it for 4 yrs (link)
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In trying everything, does that include talking with him and asking him why he hasn't given? Maybe the passion has gone out of the relationship. How long have you lived together? Sounds like you've been together for a very long time to not have had much, if nothing, for 4 years. Could he possibly be cheating (just food for thought, and I certainly hope not!)?
You really need to talk this out, if at all possible. If he doesn't want to talk, then you have the option of leaving. Don't give him the opportunity to leave or throw you out -- YOU take that step; it might be just exactly what you need. And I know how hard it is, but in a relationship that is going nowhere, why stay and stagnate? Hope I helped some.
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my friend jessica is going out with some guy that is 27 and shes only 12(shes been sleeping with him too)!!! my friends and i keep telling her that its considered rape and that he probably wants her just cuz of her body and just wants her for pleasure, cuz what would a guy that old want with her? we tried to explain it to her a lot, but she wont listen...what should we do? (link)
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This is not just rape, this is child pornography, child sexual abuse, child molestation. This is true Law and Order SVU material. Her mom's reaction is unfortunately a very real and incorrect one because that is only driving Jessica to this guy.
I think your next step is to talk with a counsellor at school or any adult and MAKE SURE they follow through with legal or some sort of action. This is extremely serious stuff you are talking about here and it needs to be dealt with immediately.
Hope I helped. Kudos to you and your friends' concern about Jessica.
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i have this friend and she wants to kill her self bc she thinks she doesnt deserve to be in this world and she is like always tellin me and her other friends that she is gonna kill herself and everytime she goes in a room she looks for sharp stuff to kill her self with and i get freaked out.. so if you have any advise plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz tell me i need help! me and her other friends are tryin to make her eat, not kill her self, think positive but nothing is workin plz help (link)
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It is absolutely essential that you report this to an adult, teacher or counsellor IMMEDIATELY. This must be handled now. Do not worry or hesitate. If you love her, do not pat her hand or tell her not to worry or try to get her to eat or try to get her a boyfriend or anything like. If anything, DO NOT LEAVE HER ALONE. One of you stay with her while one of you go talk to an adult. Stay with her while someone takes care of this. I am not kidding. We lost two students, one faculty and one staff member to suicide last year, all within one semester (three of them within a month) because they were left alone for less than an hour. DO IT! Keep in Touch. shelbyjunebug072@yahoo.com
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ok well this is something that i have already told my mom, and she said that she gets that to sometimes, but there is nothing that she can say that will stop it... but i really think there is something i can do! ok so here is the problem: i know that you get a little bit of white stuff that comes out "down there" but i always get ALOT of white "gunk" down there, it is always al over my underwear, were i have to wipe it out, because it smells, and i also get this irritation almost irritated pain down there to! is there any thing that i can do to treat it? i dont think it is a yeast infection though... but any help...thanks in advance! (link)
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GO TO A DOCTOR! Do not try to self-diagnose or self-medicate. A lot of white "gunk" that smells and irritates is probably a yeast infection or could be worse, so seeing a doctor, especially a gynecologist is very necessary.
Contrary to popular belief, deodorant pads are NOT a good idea because, although they can possibly TEMPORARILY stop the smell, they can also make the situation worse by irritating you more. Stop wearing thongs and/or bikinis for awhile -- quite awhile. You may hate this, but French cut or hi-cut briefs are comfortable and are not actual briefs and eliminate that horrible thigh line. Also, cotton underwear, NOT satin or nylon, because it allows the body to breathe. Are you ready for this one? Can you handle not wearing undies or anything below the waist to bed after the infection is gone for awhile? My gyno recommended it to help "air out" my insides after a day of "constriction" and I stopped having problems. Hoped I helped.
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Ok look this is a serious question how do you know when you're gonna start your period i mean i know you get cramps but other than that whats your signs and how long will you have them untill it starts
lots of love,
friends4eva
(link)
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Sometimes you'll get a discharge, it may be slightly colored and it may give off an odor. Another symptom is some breakout on your face. A third is an intense craving for certain foods, often chocolate, sometimes greasy (like french fries). Another one that girls don't notice is water weight gain. You feel puffy. This usually happens 4-7 days before the start. How about irritability? I'd start snapping at the slightest thing or breaking into tears -- guys would turn tail and run at top speed in the opposite direction for about 10 days, then peek around the corner to see if I was "normal" again (usually based on my smile). Hope it helps.
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I don't know why, but my stomach always hurts. It hurts at LEAST once a week. And it's not cramps, it's just like a stomach ache. But I get them all the time! I hate it, and I don't know what to do. The other day I got one in school and I had to go to my next class and I was afraid I'd get sick. I mean, I never do, but it feels like it. Does anybody know what this is, and what I can do? (link)
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Advice from others: Go see a doctor. Also, it sounds like a stress situation. You could have the makings of an ulcer, which is often stress-related. This can be helped with medication, but you should also talk with a counsellor, so your mom is really necessary at this point, too. Do you keep your emotions bottled up inside and not tell people how you are feeling about something? Your mom, believe it or not, can be very helpful. Parents are more understanding than we give them credit. They've been through a lot more than we'll ever know -- ask her/them.
Seriously, though. Talk with your mom. Ask her to take you to a doctor -- or a counsellor -- or both. Hope I helped.
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I have lots of pimples and well does anyone know any good good creams or anything like that. cuz i tried some and it didnt work I thougt maybe im eating to much chocolate and im not so please help I'm really pretty but with these pimples i feel so ugly inside. HELP i rate high (link)
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Chocolate does not create pimples. Milk products has been known to create pimples, but frankly, you should just wash your face twice daily. My daughter uses Clearasil Advanced which helps her pimples disappear really well. When you wash your face, do not use soap (like deodorant soap-ugh!). Neutragena or some of the clarifying cleansers they have out are today are good. Be careful not to dry out your skin. If it feels taut and shows some flakes, find a moisturizer that does NOT have any oil in it but will make your skin feel fresh.
Pimples are part of growing up, for the most part. Cleaning your face twice a day plus moisturizing, masquing once a week (if you want, I never could, skin was too sensitive), cutting back on your oily foods (and it has been discovered that 1% or 2% milk is food), and getting 6-8 glasses of water daily will help keep your skin healthy and lessen the pimples.
One more things: Don't try to pick them. I can't convince my daughter not to, maybe I can convince you not to.
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is being a vegetarian a bad thing?? my friends think it`s like being anorexic or somthing! (link)
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NO, being a vegetarian is NOT bad!!! Your friends obviously don't understand that you can get your protein from something other than meat. That's what they're worried about.
Tofu, eggs (which you probably don't eat), and protein drinks, as well as vitamins help supplement anything that might be missing when you go without meat. But let me tell you so you can tell your friends, for the most part, Most vegetarians are actually HEALTHIER than meat eaters. Let them think about that.
Hope that helps.
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Theres this girl whos my age and stuff. I'm 14/f. And my best friends grandmother just died today so she wasn't in school, and this girl actually told people she was glad her gram died. and I FLIPPED. One of her friends was like, you shouldn't flip out, it's not like it's your grandmother. & I'm like dude wtf I know, but she's my best friend, its not like I'm just going to let her say that. I'm doing the right thing, right? I'm not going to tell my best friend what happened because I don't want to get her upset. But, yeah. Thanks (link)
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OK, there are several sides to this problem.
1) Did her grandma suffer from cancer or stroke or was she lingering and suffering? In that case, your friend might have been happy that she was at peace.
2) Saying she was glad her gram died might be a coverup for how she was really feeling. She just might be one of those who would prefer to keep her pain and hurt to herself.
I remember when my grandmother died and I asked my sister how she felt. She said she wasn't going to cry anymore because she was already over it and she could get on with her life. I was totally shocked because it sounded so heartless, but we all deal with things differently. Personally, I felt like slapping her. I'm not condoning what your friend said, I'm just pointing out that there might be something deeper than just what she said.
If you feel you should ask her about it, by all means do so, BUT DO IT GENTLY. You might get a reaction you wouldn't expect -- be careful. Kudos for your concern.
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alright, my friend is gettin really paranoid. he keeps thinkin that there might be "side effects" from masturbation. he's 15 and he says he's like addicted to bangin himself. so are there any "side effects" from too much masturbation? if so, what are they?
thanks (link)
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No side effects in the sense that you mean. However, he might be careful about possible infection -- it does happen sometimes. Otherwise, believe it or not, at 15, it's a phase that he'll progress out of. Tell him to relax, paranoia is only going to make it worse.
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i'm running for class of '07 student council in two months and some other leadership positions! and i need to start being extra nice to everyone (im usually nice) how can i do it without sounding or looking too fake?? (link)
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Being on student council is not a matter of being nice. It's a matter of being serious about getting things done that are for your class and for the school. You need to make sure that you can put out to your class and other classes AND the faculty that you will follow through on whatever you say you will do AND THEN DO IT. If you are nice (and who's to say you aren't?), then keep being that. Now it's time to back up your niceness with some leadership qualities. Being a leader does not mean being extra nice or extra nasty or pushy. Being a leader means you will do what you will say and try not to step on people while you are doing it.
However, it's a good idea to remember that faculty (i.e., teachers and principals) are an important part of student council meetings, so don't alienate them, either. Hope I helped (can you tell I'm a teacher?).
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I have a friend and he is mad at me but I don't know why. and he got the guy I like mad at me too. But the guy I like I have gone out with him already but I like him again. But then he told me he used me what do I do. I really like him but he is mad and he will not say one word to me. please help me. (link)
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Geez, you got advice from polar opposites. Which do you choose? I wouldn't know!
Seriously, as hurt as you are, you could try to find out why, but you'd probably wind up getting more hurt, simply because both guys refuse to talk to at all. At this point, it's probably your best bet to keep smiling at them when you pass them in the hall but otherwise ignore them. Don't seek them out, don't try to make conversation with them, don't try to stand out so that they'll notice you. Believe me, they know where you are and they're looking for your reaction. Cultivate your girl friendships for awhile instead. Play it safe for now. Chance are they'll come around. If they don't -- and I know you don't want to hear this because no one believes it, but you should anyway -- they don't deserve you. You're way too good to waste your time on their pettiness. Move on and find someone worthy of your time and love. Hope I helped some.
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This is a serious question, so please don't joke about it. I know it's long..but if you read it, I'll really appreciate a decent answer. My friend and are both 13 and female. Yesterday at lunch my friend wasn't eating. She usually doesn't eat lunch, but I hadn't really caught on until now. I asked her why she wasn't eating and just said "I don't know". I asked her when she had last eaten a full meal and she said it was about a week ago! Only a couple of her close friends know this, but I was the most recent one to find out. Why aren't her friends doing anything about it? I've been thinking about it all yesterday and today. I had a long chat with her online last night about it and she answered some questions that I asked. One: I asked her (again) why she hadn't eaten in the last week. She told me it was a way to relieve "stress". She also said she thought of doing this, since it is better than cutting herself. Her parents are divorced so she says to one parent that she eats at the other house and vice-versa. Basically our whole lunch table knows this about her, so one of my friends buys her a snack everyday. We try to make her eat it, but she just turns her head and shuts her mouth. She said that she won't let it go that far. I told her that this is going to become a bad habit for her and she needs to start going back to her regular eating before it gets worse. I never would have expected this to happen to her. She's not fat (and she doesn't think she's fat either), she's NEVER sad (always happy and hyper), I just don't know. I know I have to tell someone about this. But I didn't think I would ever be in a situation like this. It scares me. She told me not to tell her parents or anyone else. I want to tell so badly..but at the same time, I just want to let it go! If I tell, I'm so scared I will lose her as a friend. I need someone to help my friend and me. Please. (link)
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I just read the advice given by the four before me and they give some good ideas.
You and your friends really need to get together and make a decision about your friend who is not eating. This is a problem that is far beyond you. Make an appointment with a counsellor at school. Talk with him/her about the problem and ask him/her to please not contact the parent(s) yet until you've had a chance to talk with your friend. Granted, counsellors are obligated to talk with parents, but not until they talk with the student first. You could go to the parents, but that might feel like the extreme betrayal on the part of your friend. Whatever your decision is, it's probably a good idea that you do it with the other friends; strength in numbers will help. At this point, you cannot force her to do anything, but you can ask an adult for help.
Keep in touch if you'd like -- I'm a mom, too.
shelbyjunebug072@yahoo.com
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I cheated on my husband for over a year it all stared because he had slapped me and I couldnt forgive him. He tried everything to get me back and I was being a bitch and unwilling to hear anything he was saying. After a while I came to my senses and wanted my famly back, but now he can't forgive me for the affair, but he has recently started seeing someone. Its so confusing because we have a daughter together and even though hes been seeing this other person we have still been sleeping together and now I'm pregnant again (its his) Now he's telling me to be patient and that he hasnt been speaking to her anymore and that she hasnt been coming around, but I don't believe him. I really want to save my marriage and I don't know how to go about it. We dont live together and I just want to be at home with my husband and daughter. What should I do? (link)
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Walk, don't run, to the nearest marriage counsellor. If you are church-going or God-fearing, seek a minister. Both of your betrayed each other's trust. He committed the biggest sin by slapping you and he needs to deal with some issues immediately. The suggestion that you seek counselling individually is excellent; do so BEFORE seeking it as a couple.
Kudos to you for wanting to rebuild the relationship, especially since there is one child and another on the way. I'm sure it hasn't been too healthy for her at this point, either. As a matter of fact, it wouldn't be a bad idea for her to get a little counselling, too. It's tough on the couple, but it's even tougher on the child/ren. Hope I helped, and Good Luck.
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All of a sudden, I've become EXTREMELY emotional. I just watched Titanic, and I cried and cried and cried. I watched Homeward Bound the Incredible Journey with a kid I babysat with, and when the animals came home I was choked up. What's wrong with me? 13/F (link)
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If you laughed through these movies, there'd be something wrong with you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, other than you are growing up. I watch Extreme Home Makeover every Sunday night just to cry into 2-3 Kleenexes and I'm not abnormal. Actually, it's healthy to cry, as long as it's not uncontrollable. Hope I helped.
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I'm very confused.
My two best friends are starting to treat me like I'm a little kid or something because I haven't gone as far as they have, because I haven't had a boyfriend in a little while. Which I think is fine because I'm only a freshman, and my life doesn't revolve around that stuff. But it still annoys me that they act like I'm immature or something because I haven't gotten fingered, and because I didn't approve of my friend having sex with this guy for revenge. They also make fun of me for being really straight edge which I don't think I am. They think they are really cool because they hang out in a specific neighborhood in brooklyn sometimes.I don't know, I guess it just annoys me that they think they are much more mature because I don't get shit drunk and coked up all the time, and I refrain from making out with bunches of people. But I don't want to yell at them or make them think I don't want to be friends with them anymore. What should I do? (link)
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Face it, honey. You're the one who's mature. They just don't see it because of the peer pressure today. Please please please don't buckle into it. You are on the right path. Sounds to me like you know what you want and how you want to get it and how not to get it. Alcohol and drugs and sex will NOT get your dreams any faster; in fact, you will probably NOT achieve them at all.
So stick to your guns. And if your friends decide that "you're too young to stick with them" then, remember, you're just too strong for them to handle you.
It may sound lonely, but you can handle it in the long run. I wish you all the best. If you need to talk, shelbyjunebug072@yahoo.com
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i'm 13/f and i weight 115!! i want to lose 15 lbs. and FAST, i already skip meals and sometimes i even make myself vomit... i know it's not healthy but i see myself as the fattest person on the face of this earth. i gained like 15 pounds over the summer and i have no idea how! i have a boyfriend that i havn't seen since the begining of the year and when i see him again i don't want to be all fat. but thats beside the point... does anyone know how to stop food cravings.. besides diet pills cuse i have no idea how i'd get those, and my friends said they don't work. help please (link)
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I'm assuming you've read most of the advice offered. 115 is NOT fat. Losing 15 lbs FAST when you are that close to your ideal weight (even though you think it's not) just will not happen. Skipping meals will actually gain weight. Why? Because your body will go into starvation mode and start storing everything you feed into it when you are eating, so you are defeating your purpose when you don't eat all three meals. Vomiting? Good God, child. Do you want die? Yes, I'm not Kidding. This is the start of a serious eating disorder called Bulemia -- check on Internet what it does to everything in your body, including your throat, tongue, mouth and teeth. It's not pleasant.
Stop food cravings? Try drinking 6-8 glasses of ICE water a day. Chew sugarless gum. Limit yourself to one candy bar every 2-3 days. Do regular exercise -- 45-60 minutes every day (walking is ideal and easiest to do). Diet pills are stupid and you're right, they do not work. Neither do any of those over-the-counter drugs you see on TV or read about in magazines. They're just a waste of money.
Start enjoying being 13 and start looking at your beautiful face, hair, eyes, smile, curves. Take a look at your mind (through your grades), look at your friends (what do they see in you? are you warm and helpful?). Look for the goodness in you rather than the "fat" -- your problem is dwelling on the negative and it overpowers all the positives I know you have. Look at them. ENJOY YOU! LOVE YOU!
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If I were to make-out with someone with braces and I have braces would anything happen? Like would the wires get stuck together?? Thanks! xox! (link)
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Chances are very very small that your wires would get stuck together. That's something they put in movies to create humor.
If you still hesitate, ask your orthodontist -- he can give you the straight answer (sorry about that rancid pun).
Hope it helps.
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how do u become popular and have alot of friends (link)
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You know, it's funny. I always wanted to be popular when I was in high school and never thought I was. I came to find out later that I was more popular than I ever thought I was. The only thing I can really tell you is that you should always be yourself and be genuine. Be kind and ready to listen to others. Don't always feel you have to offer advice but do offer a shoulder to cry or an ear to listen. Parties are not always the thing to go to or have. Cozying up to the "popular" crowd can sometimes get you into trouble. Why do you think they are popular anyway? Do they do drugs or alcohol or sex or are they jocks or cheerleaders? Personally, I think the best types of popular people are the ones in high school who shine in special ways, like studies or talents (music or theatre) and are kind and don't backstab.
Hope I helped. Just be yourself. And don't worry so much about how to be -- just be.
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