Lessthan3ofgod's advice column

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Q: My boyfriend always ignores me. He complained I was clingy and we argued for about three days over it. And then made up. But still, I felt weird when we hung out, scared almost. I was scared to say or do certain things in case I came off as clingy. We went through the day just fine. And afterwards he didn't even call or text and every time I give him space he doesn't bother to answer.

I mean first the relationship was perfect. And then it just went downhill... He said we'll fix it but he isn't doing his part and whenever I text or call to talk about it, he ignores me. My mom said to ignore him even if he ends up contacting me, but I just wanna get it over with. Should I break up with him or go with my mom's plan?

I mean even if you don't want to mention it to him one more time about him doing his part. If you talk to him about it though make sure it is in person. Don't ignore him because that will just make things worse. Talk to him about how you feel and to be honest i would break up with him because I wouldn't be capable of dealing with that. You don't need that kind of stress and it's not good to constantly worry about your relationship. You shouldn't have to worry about your relationship. You two aren't right for eachother, and a clingy boyfriend is not good because eventually he gets too protective and he will start to control you and that is very unhealthy. Break up with him and move on. You don't need the stress. Move on with your life and don't go back to him even if he begs because you will end up the same way eventually. Just be careful and be safe, and good luck my dear.

You deserve the best. (:

Q: I have two small tares in my vaginal lining just above the opening to my vagina, I noticed some irriatation after having sex with my boyfriend a few weeks ago, but over the last week the pain has gotten worse,and unbearable and it burns when I urinate, I decided to get a mirror and check down there and found the two tares... I have no medical insurance so going to the doctors is out.. Is there anyone who can tell me what I can use to heal the tares and to stop the pain, I am at wits end please help

Maybe ask your mom? Depending on your age it doesn't even matter. If you don't have health insurance she can still help with figuring out the issue.

Maybe go to store and find something for irritation. Like the other person that had commented, save up to go to the doctor because that is not safe. I mean go to the doctor and save to pay for the bills, because if its getting worse it's just going to continue and that is unhealthy and unsafe.

Don't wait my dear, or you'll be sorry :/

Good luck.

Q: How do I deal with a break up, I dont know if hes forgotten me I dont want to forget him because our break u wasn't abotu soemthing bad but I always text him and he responds as if he doesn't want to talk to me and i really dont know what to do . And I am also loosing two of my closest friends one of them is named Jenny she didn't like my boyfriend and they had gotten in an arguement and put me in the middle. Now she thinks I am talking smack about her and saying she was the reason why we had broken up but that is a stupid rumor . My other friend is named Alfredo he is upset withe me because he says I have betraded him I did I do admit I did and he has every right to be upset but I just want him back .

I have been in the same situation. I lost my boyfriend and a friend out of it.

You two broke up for a reason and like everyone has told me, "never date an ex." You should never date your ex, because you broke up for a reason and if you go back its not going to be the same. I wouldn't text him if i were you because then they become even more irritated and you become more desperate looking. You now lost your boyfriend and I am sure you have been friends with your friend Jenny a lot longer, so try and fix things with her. You will have better luck if you try fixing things with her and move on from you recent ex. The faster move on the happier you will find yourself with a new life of being single. (:

Good luck(:

Q: ok um this guy (just turned 16) and he really likes me(im 15 going on 16) and i dont really like him but i wanna be friends, but to him its either date me or noting else. the reason why i dont is cus we already dated and there was to much drama and the day after we broke up i asked him whats up? and he said fucking me!!! also he pretends to be my one of my friends just so he can talk to me (the friend was a guy who likes me too and hess my ex best friend)..so my question is do you got any ideas on how i can deal with this hes my friends cousin

So its either date me or nothing?
Don't feel pressured into dating him, i have been pushed into relationships and all it does is end in feeling bad for what happened.

He is not even worth it if he doesn't want to be your friend. Just stop being friends and he will feel bad for what he was doing possibly.

You will feel better if you just move on from the situation because at your age you don't need that kind of drama or pressure. Just walk away from him and the situation and don't even confront it anymore.

Good luck.

Q: i am a 15 year old female wondering if you could get pregnate from jacking off your boyfriend then fingering yourself?

Yes you can get pregnant from that, only if he ejaculates onto your hand, and if the sperm comes in contact with your vagina.

Even if it doesn't go in, you can still get pregnant if it is near.

Think about what you are doing and take extreme precautions. You are too young to have a baby so be careful, because you childhood/teen years are over, and you won't be capable of doing the things that you love.

Be careful my dear. I suggest a condom even if you are just jacking him off. Better safe then sorry.

Good luck!

Q: lastnight i had a dream of my ex boyfriend. just me and him were hanging out in my room (as friends) with nothing sexual going on. we were play fighting and just talking about funny things. it felt so real, and it made me miss him alot more.
i never got to see his face much in the dream, but i heard and recognized his voice, so i knew it was him. i'm trying hard to get over him but all i want is to be with him again.

why am i having dreams of him?

My ex was my everything and after we broke up i was devistated. I had dreams about him all the time, whether we were being good friends or hated eachother.

I think you are just viewing the good things that were in your relationship and the things that went well.

Eventually they will go away. Mine went away once I moved on. (:

Don't take them too seriously. Besides you guys are still dating for a reason right? Just try and move on because you will be a lot happier than you are now? Try getting out, and doing things that you love to get over him.

If you just sit around and do nothing that isn't going to help you in any case, because then you are constantly thinking about the situation. Find a way to relieve stress, but never think too much because that has a ton of downfalls. Just get out, have fun, and move on. You'll be happier in the end. (:

Good luck!

Q: well i broke up with this guy for another guy that i had liked for 2 yrs and now i feel like i messed it up the one guys name is caleb and i really really like him but i think he hates me now i was textn him the other day and tld him how i felt about the sittuation n he was like well ive been through it and itll get better trust me and i dont think it will i think i just lost the guy im inlove with can someone please help me asap ..
~alysaaaa

I had a similar situation.
I liked a guy while I was dating another guy, and told that guy i would dump my boyfriend for him. My boyfriend and I broke up and i thought the world had ended because I loved him so much. Your ex may be hiding what he is feeling but it is too soon to fix anything because that will make him change his mind even faster. Let him mend his heart and let him think about the situation. You had already let him know how you felt, so now leave it alone and don't push it. I did that and my ex was done with me. So let it be and the only thing that can heal your heart and his, is time. Just be careful with what you do, because if you push it too often and let it show that it is bothering you may make you seem look desperate. So just be careful about your actions and just give it time. In the end you will see which was better for you.

You may be better with him or without, but you will only find out in time. (:

Good luck hunny.

Q: Why do I feel soo full after I eat or drink the littlest things?? Also, why so I get so bloated looking like I'm pregnant?!

The reason you get so full so fast is because you are not used to eating so much.

But the reason you may be getting bloated is probably because you aren't eating the right things. Eat healthier things, because fatty acids in foods may be causing your bloating.

If this doesn't change, i suggest you call your doctor, or going to a nutritionist. (:

Good luck!

Q: I have a question..i am getting my cartilage pierced this saturday and at walmart. But before i do, i want to know if there r any cheaper places and if it hurts a lot. Some people say it hurts like hell, others say they dont feel a thing....I just want to know all the facts before getting it done. thanks :)

Go to Claires, most of their locations have ear peircing. I had my cartilage peirced twice in the ear, and it was just like a pinch and instant headache. It just aches a little bit afterwards, just make sure to clean it 3 or more times a day, or the pain won't go away for it to heal.

But it also depends on what type of person you are. It may hurt, and it may not. Don't be too worried. Just close your eyes and its over, just take some aspirin afterwards to help(:

Good luck!

Q: My boyfriend and i have a lot of fun together. We hook up sometimes but this time I want him to think I'm ULTRA sexy. I want to do something different that will turn him on INSANELY. any ideas on what could turn men on? Is there a certain way to touch his penis? Is there a certain thing I should do/dress? Any ideas!? I will try all your guys' ideas and i will rate the one that works the best a FIVE:)

Ask your boyfriend about his fantasies.
Fulfill them!
Maybe try being in control, and being the boss in bed and see how he likes that.

Do something completely out of the ordinary, something that he would never expect from you!

Surprise him!

Good luck!

Q: If I jerk of before sex will that help in making me last longer when I recover

My suggestion to you is to masturbate a few hours before planning on having sex, that usually will help you last longer since you have already relieved yourself at one point, and your point of excitement won't cause you to cum immediately. Trust me you don't want to short out, your gf or friend will not be satisfied. My ex came after 30 seconds, because he got too excited.

Good Luck!

Q: There is a lump in the middle of my right shin bone. I've had it for a year, but I only manage to notice it when I've gotten a bruise on my leg. You can't see the lump as far as I know, but you can feel it. It's hard. It doesn't hurt - though it certainly felt a little irritated after I spent a few minutes pressing on it to see if it was squishy or if it separated from the bone at all.

What could this be?

Well depending on the time it has been there it could be shin splints like the other person had said but if it has been there a while then it may be totally different.

I have a bump on my wrist bone and it is also squishy, I was told it was just a cyst and there is not much you can do about it, that or calcium deposit. If you are not too sure of it and you would rather have further answers, go see your doctor. (:

That will get you the best possible answer.

Q: Hi, I'm Gracie and I'm 13 and I noticed that whenever I'm done crying I get really sleepy and a awful headache. Why? And why do my eyes get red and puffyish?

This is perfectly normal.
The reason you are so tired is because your body is releasing a certain horomone and the reason they turn red and get puffy is because its a chemical reason, and there is salt in your tears.

So when this happens it's perfectly normal, take a nap or get some rest, and maybe when you wake up but a cold spoon under your eyes or wet tea bags.

Don't freak out, it happens to all of us. (:

Hope this helped. (:

Q: 16/f
I have the worst time trying to fall asleep.
It's been worse over the summer but even before I just couldn't fall asleep and it'd take me an hour or 2.
I think it started my sophomore year where I couldn't fall asleep. I'm going into my senior year and it's still bothering me. I mean it wasn't every night because I did have some good nights where it'd only take me 20 or 30 min to fall asleep.
I was thinking maybe I was making it into a habit. So I just tried going to bed at 10 or 11 but wouldn't fall asleep till like 12 or 1. I had to wake up at 5:30 for school but my body was used to the hours I slept so it didn't affect my grades or anything.
So I've tried different sleeping times and tried to get used to them but that didn't work. I tried reading before going to bed because people usually fall asleep during that time but that didn't work. Drinking milk didn't help lol. I would just lay there, for hours, just thinking about anything and everything. It's like my mind was still wide awake no matter how tired my eyes were.
I tried writing in my journal to let everything out, but even when I had nothing particular on my mind I couldn't sleep.
Now it's horrible, because last night is where it was really bad. I tried going to bed at midnight but I was laying there forever so I started reading. I read till about 1 or 2. Then laid back down and did not fall asleep till about 6. That was so bad.
When I fall asleep, I'm out. So I didn't wake up till like 1pm. I hate sleeping that late. It's so bad.

When I'm really drained, this isn't often, but I can naps very easily. But when I wake up, I feel sick like I'm going to throw up but I know I'm not going to. It's just my stomach feeling like it's twisting. Soo what's up with that?

Sorry that this was long but it's really starting to bother me and I can't have it be this bad during my senior year.

Well one question is have you ever tried an intense workout before to make you more tired. If that doesn't work and you have done all that you are capable of doing to get to bed, then this is most likely a medical problem and seeing your doctor as soon as possible is the best possible thing to do.

Good luck
& GO SEE THE DOCTOR. (:

Q: Okay so I'm a 13 year old girl and I love touching myself down there.... I mean I like putting my finger in my vagina and I do it every chance I get... I haven't started my period and I have even put tampons in just to do it. It doesn't even feel good but I want that real good sensation. I haven't had an orgasm and I really want one... Any tips? Is there any way that I can speed up the process of starting my period? I really want to.... Thanks.

At 13 this is perfectly normal. You are completely curious.

It is a bad idea to put tampons in when you don't have your period.

1. You can get infections and irritation from pulling it out dry.
2. You can get shock syndrome, meaning if you put it in too long your body will react to it in a negative way causing your body to go into shock.

You can not speed up the process of you period, and I am pretty sure you don't want to start it because it's not fun at all. You can get sick and crampy and feel like crap all the time. So let that come on it's own and do not hope for it. It is also very normal to have a lot of discharge, it happens and may be a sign of your period but not a recent sign typically.

As far as the sexual favors, just do what you are doing and leave it at that because eventually you will get the things that you want, just be careful doing it too often. It may be healthy for a while but you may get irritated.

Hope this helps.

Good luck hun.

Q: k so im 16 and still a virgin, i masterbate all the time but only with my fingers...i want to use a vibrator because im scared that when i do it the first time the penis wont fit, so do you recommend i use a vibrator and if i use a vibrator does that mean im not a virgin anymore??? Please help!!

I was only 17 when I lost my virginity and too be honest it was wayyyy too soon, and it ruins a lot for you and takes a tole on your emotions and body, especially when you may not be with the person you had sex with for a long time.

I was the same way when I was younger. In most places you have to be 18 or older to buy sex toys. The fact you are not 18 you can use simple things around the house but make sure the object is sanitary. Otherwise stick to your fingers it's healthier. You are still a virgin whether you use something in the house, a vibrator, or you fingers. No matter the tightness of your vagina, the penis will fit because the skin fits to it and stretches to the shape and size.

Do some research online or ask your mom or parents about sex, even a sex ed teacher. Don't be embarrassed because in the end being educated about it is all worth it. (:

Good luck!

- bwest

Q: I'm Almost 5 months pregnant and I'm 15, me and the baby's father want the baby it's just my parents don't? They know and want it gone cause their ashamed... I want the baby so bad, just like the father does and were very responsible and he Wanta to take care of us both and support of everyday possible physically and emotionally!(: I'm from Texas. If that helps and I'm Wondering Can I get An abortion? Can they force me too? Anyway me and my boyfriend (the father) can we do anything? any advice anyone? Anything will help thank you...

Since you are not of age, your parents have the right of putting their input on whether or not you should have the abortion.

However, this also depends on whether you are capable of taking care of the child, and your parents are most likely watching out for you and your future and whether or not you are emotionally capable of taking care of the child.

In my opinion I would suggest adoption, you should not have a child at your age. You are very young. Yes, the child is a blessing but it's best for you and the child. You won't be capable of doing the things you are going to want to do in the future teen years, and after highschool years. Even an open adoption is a choice. You will be able to visit and see your child but another family will have legal parental rights to that child. Think about your future and the childs future.

Good luck my dear, and God bless.

- bwest

Q: My boyfriend suffers from multi-personality disorder. We almost broke up last night but finally he told me what was going on even after he told me I deserve so much better than him. But somehow I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

He told me his disorder causes him to have different personalities. When we first started dating, he was all over me and complimenting me and showering me with love even when we weren't with each other in person. And then just suddenly he changed and I felt like he lost interest in me. But he told me this person he is right now "doesn't feel like talking, doesn't feel like fixing things" and if he isn't accepted as he is then we're not going to work out, and eventually if I give him time and space he'll be back to normal and he loves me very much. I thought it'd be wrong to break up with someone for something they can't help. He didn't asked to have this disorder. At first I thought it was just an excuse but I know now it took a lot to fess up and tell me. I know now he really trusts me. So I have decided to give him time and space and see where it goes.

Still, I don't know if I made the right decision... What do you think?

In my opinion I wouldn't date him. You may love him but you have to let go of what you love for your benefit an his. Personality disorders change a lot, and could put you in danger, especially if he is not taking any type of medication.

If you return to dating him just be careful of what you say or do because you can never tell when his personality may change.

Do what you need to mend your heart.

Good luck my dear.

-bwest

Q: i've always wanted to get married in a beautiful cathedral. i found a great church, but i'm not catholic and neither is my fiance. my question is, are we allowed to get married in the catholic church anyway? i don't have to use the priest there, i can use my own pastor if that's the case. i just pretty much want to rent out the cathedral for the day, i'm not looking to have a sacramental catholic wedding. thanks!

Yes you are capable of doing this!
Have a beautiful wedding(:

Good luck!

-bwest

Q: What does it mean when my boyfriend pulls me towards him & places me on his lap? I don't mind this but I'm just curious though why he does it.
female 17

This kind of gesture can be good or bad.

Good: he wants you close and wants to show how comfortable he is with you and is trying to be cute in a way.

Bad: he could be doing this to start a sexual act, my ex would do that. So in that case be careful if that is not what you have in mind.

Either way enjoy it or be careful.

Good luck sweetie(:

- bwest

bio

All I care about is helping people and explaining my experiences to others to get the realization of life. (:

Ask me questions and you won't regret it, because either way I can give you an answer.

Tell your friends about Lessthan3ofgod. (: