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April 29, 2008Answers:
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This is our cat Duke. He has donned his crown for this photo shoot.We are here to help make the world a better place to live in, one question at a time.
-- Stay Honest
advice
i beg your pardon if this is too long
well, i'm 16 and my best friend is 16 and we're both girls. at the beginning of the year, she was this innocent girl. never cursing (perhaps because of her muslim religion) no boys (same), good grades, good writer. everything was fine. we got pretty close. I then noticed her apparent obsession with herself. how she would look in the mirror so attentively and stare at herself and go "i'm sooo gorgeous"..i dont have a problem with that but it did seem like she had a narcissistic problem. she grew cocky over the next couple of months and all of a sudden..this new version of my friend..more cockier, confident..badder..appears. and i dont like it. she begins neglecting school work to text and talk on the phone. detentions...she gains an interest in boys..and one particular guy ..which her muslim dad nearly finds out about. and i've been helping her so she doesn't sink. but that self-love has been SO FREAKING OBVIOUS. her arrogance is astonishing! in fact, we've remained good friends up till today. i'd print stuff out for her in school, i'd call her, console her when the guy dumped her..give her advice. generally, i was there for her. all of a sudden...she meets these group of people..and in less than one week, she's telling me how much she loves them and how theyre her best friends. and she ignores my texts, doesnt say hi..goes over to them. doesnt care about me anymore. i feel used, betrayed...like ive spent my time with her and helping her for nothing. but that apparent cockiness...bothers me. we got in a fight and she called me a dumb fucker. after all ive done with her. how am i to deal? thank you in advance.
Your friend is obviously out of control.
At this point she is not your friend anymore, she's become a different person and you need to stay away from her. Focus on your schoolwork and stay away from her influence, stop doing things for her. If she asks, be honest, let her know that she's out of control and ruining her life and that you're not interested in participating in that with her. Then leave her alone.
Find new friends.
Unless she has been physically assaulted recently, she's using some type of drug and it's seriously affecting her moods and reactions.
If you're any kind of friend you'll let YOUR parents know that you're concerned about your former friend.
Be completely honest with them, this is no time to pass on unclear information. This girl needs help immediately.
Recommend that your parents contact your friend's parents to let them know she's not been on the up and up and that she's having a very rough time and needs special consideration.
Suggest that they purchase a home drug-test kit off the internet or locally and surprise her with it.
She will definitely be upset that you've keyed her parents into what's going on. She will also be very grateful if she wises up and straightens back out, which is what we're going for.
Should she not "Straighten Up", be prepared to see her pregnant, drugged out, dropped out or worse before graduation rolls around.
You are a true friend for asking for advice so unselfishly and I commend your loyalty to this girl.
Above all, be completely honest. If she comes to you with "you ruined my life", remind her that her situation is a direct result of HER choices, not yours. She'll either come around or she won't, either way YOU'VE done the right thing.
-- Stay Honest
okay , so you know how sometimes you get feelings and like no one can change your mind?? like a pathological fear. You cant be talked out of it. Well i have one of those feelings about this boy. He lives in IN but i live in KY but i go up every 6 weeks, this summer for 3 weeks.
You see he thinks im cute and everything, but he has a girlfriend, (which i know IS wrong, but yeah i wouldnt do that to someone). But he got put on quarintine at his house and he is on like lockdown because him and his brother (18 that got put in a detention center) got in a fight because some kid pulled a knife on him and was going to stab him. So this summer we was supposed to hang out and people say oh he is a player bc he likes you while he has a gf, but i dont think thats true. I just feel like i know him, and I mean, i dont know i just get this feeling, i cant really explain it. I just i dont know, can you help me??
He has a girlfriend. Leave him alone.
1) It's a long distance relationship and you're not in a position to handle it.
2) It's a long distance relationship and it doesn't sound like he's in a position to handle it.
3) You, like many people your age these days (not your fault as you've not been raised any different), seem to have an issue with integrity and honesty.
Be honest with yourself. Now be more honest with yourself. Now be even MORE honest with yourself.
Keep it up and apply it to those around you as well. Keep it up for a year and you won't need to ask questions like this one. :)
I know from personal experience that it is extremely difficult to understand this type of advice from your current position. I assure you that you need only make the decision to do it and stick to it, even after failures. Persistence is the key to happiness in this endeavor.
Everyone always says "The truth shall set you free", let me tell you that it is often extremely difficult to do and that the rewards are much greater for doing it than you can possibly imagine.
I wish you much determination on your journey as you have many tough and richly rewarding times ahead of you.
-- Stay Honest
Everything was great on Monday. My boyfriend was really sweet, as usual. He hugged me, kissed me, told me nice stuff..and i felt really nice around him. It's not love, but it could be.
Anyway, i knew stuff at home wasn't great for him...his mom and him fight a LOT soo..i never bothered asking him cause he'd get REALLY ticked off when i gave him advice or inquired about it. So Tuesday comes and he begins to ignore me. Like as if i'm not there. Just completely changed. I thought about it...and decided that maybe he needed some space or something...perhaps his mother made him really upset...so i ignored him too.
It was then that he suddenly spoke up, claiming that he was really confused and everything was a blur in his head. I noticed how depressed and upset he got in just two days. His face was all..bitter...and he didn't smile or anything.
It was as if he lost interest in me. He then asked me if i would be completely devastated if we broke up. Of course, i said yes..we've been together for four months and it's a pretty big deal...and it just makes me SO SAD that there could be a chance that he's suddenly losing interest in me.
However, i don't know whether he's confused about EVERYTHING right now. It's all unclear and he still claims to be confused and feeling depressed and crappy and horrible.
I don't know what my next step should be. I haven't dealt with this before. Has this happened to anyone? Why would he be confused all of a sudden just out of the blue like that?
=(
Hello,
Yes, I have had something similar happen to me when I was 20. My boyfriend of 8 months became suddenly confused about things and had issues to deal with. I gave him his space. A few weeks or so after we split, I ran into a mutual friend who said "I just want you to know that I think you are much classier and better for Marcus than that trashy blonde he's with now." I was devastated. I loved him beyond any love I had known.
After we split he kept coming around me. He kept saying he loved me but..... and would never say what was bothering him. I knew he had moved on to another girl, but why did he keep returning to me in this confused state? He complained of his life being a blur and not being able to eat. He ended up feeling weak, depresses and anxious because he wasn't sleeping at night. Turns out he had cheated on me, a one night stand, and she ended up pregnant. His friends influenced him and he made a mistake that cost him his true love. I saw him several years later at a fair. he had the cutest little blonde boy with him. He was alone, just him and his son. I hope he and his family are well.
This may or may not be the case with you. The point is that whatever he is dealing with is stressful enough for him to remove you from his life. Weather he has interest in you is irrelevant if he is trying to do the right thing by someone else. If he doesn't give clear answers, or gets angry easily when you want to know what is wrong, then he is not being honest about things. If that is the case then you are better off without that in your life. If he cannot be honest with you then you need not waste your time with him. 4 Months is long enough to know if he is good for you or not. Sounds like the issues he has with his family will pour into your relationship if you stayed together anyway. Guys and their moms have a special relationship that will never come before you. He sounds as if he is one of those guys. The truth is that you will NEVER be happy with this guy and you would always be fighting or competing for attention with his mother.
Even though they fight, he will be the first to defend her if you disagree with her about something. Usually when someone is in the state of mind he is in, it is better to leave him alone to resolve his issues himself. You will only get hurt if you continue this relationship. The best thing for you to do is think about what skills you want to learn this summer and go get a job in that field. Save up all your money and go to Europe for your birthday next year. Concentrate on yourself and you will only become a better person. Before you know it, you will be attracting successful, money making guys that do not have issues in life. This may take you a long time but it will be well worth it when you are out on your own and paying your own bills.
If you need to talk or just let some frustrations out please send your thoughts and feelings our way. We are here to empower you and help you.
Although, this guy and his family may just be eating the wrong foods. Depending on the blood type there are foods that cause the symptoms he's complaining about. Mood swings, confusion and lethargy. Although he is tired he cannot sleep either. Foods can do that also. He needs to change his diet and start telling the truth about everything.
-- Stay Honest
Okay i have a boyfriend and his name is Kyle and i love him so much but after 3 months of dating me and my friend was doing a test on him and she made up a name and started flirting with him becasue i told her to and so she asked him if he had a gf and he said maybe but he dont know if he should dump me because of her and he dont even know her but before that he cussed my sister out and asked her if she was horny and everybody keeps telling me not to date him but i really like him and i dont care about the looks i care about the personality but like i really like him but then i dumped him after he dsiad that to my friend about the dumping me part and he said it was just a joke and he keeps telling me that he loves me and that he is sorry but now he wont even answer my calls or talk to me on myspace and i really want him back but help me please of what to do
Hello,
Honesty is always the best policy. You set him up to fail. Tricking him with your friend was low and I would be very unhappy with my son if he remained in a relationship with someone who would try to trick him into being dishonest. You need to re evaluate your issues and see that he feels like he cannot trust you. No one wants to be around someone who is manipulative and deceitful. Shame on you for doing dirty deeds.
I am more concerned for you. Who in your life says these things are ok to do to other people? You have acted in a morally wrong manner and should be ashamed of yourself and anyone else who does things like that.
You need a double dose of honesty classes followed by a lesson in moral values. Your dishonest actions did this. The only way to fix it it to face what you have done. Admit that it was a very bad thing to do to someone you say you love and apologize to your victim. In fact you should also apologize to your friend for influencing her to be dishonest. Two of the most important character trait that anyone can have is honesty and moral integrity. You have displayed a lack of both with this little test.
Start being honest right now! Later in life, doing something like this could land you serious, life threatening situations - all this because you were not an honest person.
Good luck
-- Stay Honest
So, my boyfriend and I have been through some really rough times and he screwed up a lot. I really do love him and for awhile lately he doesnt believe that I truly do love him. Maybe I hold a deep down grudge and he gets that vibe but bottom line is I really do care about him. Question is--how can I show him I love him (we are not teenagers) without writing it in a card or letter or getting him a gift. It doesn't seem like enough when I just say it. thank you very much.
Hello,
The advice you have been given is good advice.
However, I believe it will take more than cleaning up after him and making his favorite meals. I know that you need to change what you are doing, right now.
Instead of giving him small pecks or quick kisses, give him a long sensual kiss every time he walks by or you pass him. Rub his back every night.
Take candlelight baths together and rub his feet.
Material things will never take the place of action.
My idea is to get him that card you spoke of and write "Let me show you how much I love you!" and attach a string for him to follow into the bedroom or where ever you are waiting, horny and almost naked. (or just attack him when he walks in the door}
Make your relationship fun again by focusing all your attention on him. Call him often and say "I miss you, I love you and can you come home early, I am horny as heck!" Even if you are not horny, it will make him feel wanted by you and thus he will feel loved by you. He may not always be able to come home, but it makes his day having you horny at home, wanting him. Men who are treated like this rarely stray and become happier with their mates.
He doesn't believe you love him because of the way you show it. The less physical you are with him the less he believes you. The less you stroke his manly ego the less he knows of your love.
Buy a book called 'The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands'. Google the name and read the book. I know it will save you and your relationship.
-- Stay Honest
ok theres this red squirrle in my yard and like last year heal eat the robin eggs so how can i scare him away without scarin the robins?
Hello,
My grandmother had the same issue only it was another type of bird. The other answer was good but truth is that even if you catch it and release it somewhere else, another one will take it's place. The squirrel only eats the eggs because it is hungry. If you keep the squirrel fed well, it won't eat the eggs. If you domesticate it, it guards the tree and the eggs. (squirrels are very territorial) Crazy world, but it works.
Good luck!
--Stay Honest
My best friend told her brother that i thought he was cute and that i liked him! (i did think he was really cute) But she was just playing. Then i find out that he likes me.(as my friend says) Well I start to like him. Ok, I usually see him in school only about 2 time, but today i saw him 4 times! He was everywhere I was. I didnt look at him because i was shy, but my friend said that he was looking at me and smiling. My friend also said that her bro dont like shy girls! Well im super shy around guys cause im not that exprienced, and i want him to still like me! How do i not be shy! ( i hate it)
Repeated acts of courage are a sure way to overcome your fear.
The best way to not be shy is to be honest, forward and scared to death. If you are nervous, tell him, "I am so nervous talking to you right now." Then tell him what you like about him.
The other advice is right, get to know him. Go have a movie and popcorn, pizza and video games or meet in a study group. The point is, the more you communicate the easier it gets to talk to poeple without being scared to death.
If you are too shy to approach him, that my be telling him that you are afraid not nervous. you like him, just swallow your fear, let courage take you to him and say "hello, how is day so far?"
He will tell you about it, and you will listen.
Do you think that skydivers don't need to be nudged out of the plane the first jump?
Just jump! The worst that could happen is you fall in love with him and he breaks your heart. You live, you learn from it and you get back out there and do it again. Above all, be honest.
-- Stay Honest
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uuhhhh! I hate feeling like this! OMG! When i look in the mirror sometimes i like what i see and sometimes i dont! I've tried and tried to love myself but its hard! There is always this little voice in my head telling me im ugly! I know im not ugly, but i feel ugly. People tell me how pretty i am, and it makes me feel good about myself. I dont ever believe adults when they say im beautiful cuz they just say that! but anyways is there anyway i can feel good about myself all the time and not sometimes? I want to love myself so bad but its hard for me!
All of the advice given is good and you should definitely consider everything.
I can give you a bit of additional advice that will help you in this and nearly every other aspect of your life.
Be as honest with yourself and everyone around you as possible. Do this while improving the skills you have and working to gain new skills. This is a lifelong process that brings great happiness on the way for you and the people that you'll meet. Be prepared to see no results for months and months before you begin to see benefits.
Get yourself some testing for autism related and other mental health issues. If you seriously have problems about feeling good about yourself and it isn't because you're dishonest all the time, you may have problems that are beyond your control without counseling and possibly being medicated.
Definitely look into 'Eating for Your Type', (do a search for it) and start by cutting out all of the 'bad' foods for your specific blood type. That will make sure that you're not having any mental issues magnified by food you shouldn't be eating.
Above all, have fun! Work to be the best that you can be at the skills you do best and try to gain one new skill each year!
Remember that happiness is not a destination or place you can get TO... it's the state of mind created as a byproduct of:
1) The quality of the goal you're reaching for
2) Your honesty in life and your relationships
3) The amount of effort you put into what you are reaching for
If you're not reaching for anything and not working to improve anything in your life, you're not going to be happy about much. Only when we are actively in pursuit and pushing our limits do we find the happiness that everyone is searching for in life.
-- Stay Honest
ok so i broke up w/ my bf recently and i really miss him and now him and my bff is about to dte him but i dont want to tell her wat do i do
What a situation you are in right now. I agree with the other advice given. I also think that you are a good friend for not wanting to interfere in your best friends love life.
There were reasons you are not with him anymore. What are they? Think about that for a moment. If you got back together with him, would these issuses still be there.
Wish your friend luck with him and focus on yourself. Your main focus in life should not be boys, but your own skill set. It may seem important to you right now that you still love him, but in ten years you will see that you have wasted your time and should have been studying and preparing for your future. There will be other bff's and bf's.
There is only one you and you only get one life.
Stop whining and start living!
15/f
i got my first period this past november on thanksgiving. i got it december onm the 21st again then january on the 22nd. in february i got it the day after i got back from a cruise which was like the 24th but it only lasted for about 2 or 3 days and was very light. i haven't gotten it since. is that normal, considering i haven't had it for that long, or should i be worried?
Hello 15/f,
The other advice given was right, unless you had sex on the cruise. Then you should probably get a pregnancy test.
If you are still a virgin then you are going to be just fine. You are normal.
-- Stay honest
i cant sleep at night at all and im always tierd.what can i do to sleep better.nottake drugs or anything like that? pleaseeee help
I have read all the other replies to make sure that I do not repeat them. (That would not be useful to you, now would it?) Although all those answers were very good advice, I highly suggest looking at your diet.
What did you eat for dinner? Did you eat breakfast?
Some foods cause things like fatigue and insomnia all in one. Your energy level is also a direct result of the food you eat.
Google search a book called 'Diet for your type'. This diet is for everyone, not just over weight people. You will need to know your blood type, a simple test from a doctor will tell you that. Giving blood would be a good way to find out what type you are as well.
Follow the diet for your blood type for a month and tell me if you are still having problems sleeping.
If you are still having these issues we can look at other things that may be causing your insomnia. The good thing is that by following the diet you'll be able to think more clearly and will have eliminated that from the possible causes.
-- Stay Honest
i seriously am going to eat myself to death.
i am getting fatter everyday
right now it 11:07 , its a thursday night
I just ate a footlong sub!
and i wasnt even hungry
I keep going and going,
this weekend i have a family party
and im going to keep eatnig!
I do not know what diet to go on.
I am like 20 lbs over weight , not good
IT DEFFINTITLY shows !
I need help loosing belly fat.
and thigh fat.
Please list tips
oxox
First, take a look into WHY you're overeating.
It may be mental and it may be physical (You may be very ill). Stop it now before 20lbs turns into 200lbs. I know, I have been there!
No matter the cause, you should definitely look into a diet that I've watched work wonders for people of all kinds. (Not a diet that only works with a few types of people)
Google search a book called 'Diet for your type'. This book explains that what you may be eating is attacking your bloodstream and slowing your metabolism. Are you male or female? It matters because of your metabolism.
This diet will be a life long thing and will only be good for you but first you need to know your blood type. A doctor can tell you that with a simple test.
Once you do that, try to follow the diet as closely as possible. If you can't, try to eliminate at least the foods on the 'Bad List' for your blood type.
You will see significant changes in how well you are able to meet the challenges of the day around you and you won't be eating out of boredom anymore.
-- Stay Honest
Okay so Im getting the chocolate cellphone and i was just wondering does it waste minutes to listen to your playlists? and does it cost to download music??
HELP PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!
You'll be happy to know that listening to your playlist is only limited to battery life. :)
I don't know of any free music downloads and would imagine everything would cost.
If you have access to a computer, you may want to look into using it to transfer music to your phone without "Downloading" it from your carrier.
(If you don't know how this can be done, drop by the computer lab in any high school or college and they'll have information on who you should talk to that can help you out)
-- Stay Honest :)
it keeps saying "the file size was too big" I dont know what that means. How do I make the picture smaller?
If you need to resize images on a regular basis, I can recommend a free program called irfanview.
http://www.tucows.com/preview/194967
Here's a handy couple of steps to help you use it to resize images too...
http://www.somewhere-in-time.net/tutorial/irfanview/
We've used irfanview for over 8 years now and it's a very stable and friendly program.
I have been looking forward to superlatives in our yearbook this year, but also dreading it. I am very smart, pretty and some other stuff, but there is always someone who is going to be picked for being smarter and prettier. It really burns me up, because no matter how much I study and work on my make-up and hair, there is always someone better. I just want to be the best, in one thing at least. I am reasonably popular, so that is not the problem. How can I just be the best in something?
There are many strong urges in life that you'll need to learn to work with.
Always keep in mind that the best rewards in life are gained by doing things that don't bring you instant rewards.
Keep being yourself and working to improve the skills you know. Always work to gain new skills.
You'll find life to be much more rewarding.
:)
-- Stay Honest
me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years and i love her sooo much you know it wasn't that first sight love it was that first kiss that made my world change just that first kiss and all of a sudden she doesn't love me for no reason after she has done everything bad to me and all i have done is love her, her friends hate me and put things in her head all the time, i just want to take her and leave and be alone and happy forever just the 2 of us and just start a new life i love her and i dont know what to do i have done everything she has asked lost firends everything you can think possible and now i have nothing but her i just don't know what to do
Until you are totally and completely honest with yourself and everyone around you, you will be unhappy the way you are now.
Love is about growth and compatibility, not hate.
When you have been honest with yourself for over 6 months, ask yourself if you're in love with her then.
-- Stay Honest
what is your motivation for giving others advice here?
Nearly everyone knows information specific to a topic that is useful to a great number of people.
If one can take a minute and quickly help with a topic they know well, more power to the rest of the folks that find it when they need it.
The lack of ethics, empowerment and education in the world has created some huge disinformation zones to grow up in.
Do your part to reverse the trend, eh?
when i click on word to open it says, " word has encountered a problem and needs to close...."
how can i fix this!!!!!!!
This is a common problem and most likely can be solved on Mac the same way as on windows.
(At the very least it won't make things worse)
Look for a file called Normal.dot
Rename it to Normal.old or something else.
Now try starting Word again. If it works, you're golden. If it doesn't work, look for the re-install disks.
-Stay Honest