14/f
I've been asked out more than plenty of times in my life (I'm not going to complain about it) but I've never said yes to anyone. I never actually thought that the reason why was because something didn't feel right...until awhile ago a boy a really liked asked me out. And I totally blew it by the way... I totally freaked out when he asked me...I told him maybe and then I let it off for like a week...and then he told me he was moving so it would be too hard. So that was like a total slap in the face...
I think I might have commitment issues. I think my problem is that I'm really afraid to be in a relationship with someone, as much as I would love to. All my friends go in and out of these wonderful relationships and everything, and I'm so jealous of it...but even though I've had more chances than all of my friends' put together, I've turned down everyone (with that one exception...).
I don't know what to do about it. I seriously would love to have a boyfriend but I'm just too...scared. And the weird thing is I'm really good around guys, too. It's just when relationship stuff comes up...yeah....
Can anyone help me? I'd really appreciate it.
I think the issues here are are and inexperience. First relationships are usually weird because you don't know what to do or how to act. It's completely normal for someone that's only fourteen years old to not be ready to commit to a full relationship. Don't push yourself to do things that you're not ready to do; even if it seems like your friends are in and out of wonderful relationships all the time. If their relationships were so wonderful, they wouldn't be out of them so often.
If you really want a relationship and are just scared, all I can tell you to do is go for it. You'll never know unless you try it. You're only fourteen, it's not like if you say yes to a guy you'll be stuck in the relationship forever. If it's not working out for you, just break things off.
Like I said, it's completely normal for you to be nervous or scared with your first relationship. The next time you really like someone and they like you back, just go for it. It's one of those situation where you can't really look before you leap or you'll psyche yourself out.
Once you're in a relationship, you'll see that it's really not as great or scary as it seems. Especially first relationships. They're just more of a learning experience, and they can be great if you're learning with a guy that is learning the same things as you. If you guys are compatible, you'll get comfortable with him and those scared feelings will fade with time.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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Alright. So I'm a 16/F and this is what happened. My boyfriend and I were at a party the other night and we ran into trouble. There was this one other guy there (we'll call him J) and so J, me, and this other girl were just chilling on the couch while my boyfriend was off playing pool or something. So J takes my hand and starts leading me away from the couch and I'm just kind of like okayyy... because I mean, I didn't really know this kid too well but I was just like whatever, he probably just wants to get some food or something. Well he starts taking me back towards this room and I stop outside the door and I'm like "What are you doing?" and J says, "Come in here with me." I started babling like an idiot "What? No, my boyfriend- I- huh?- why?" and he leaned in real close, put his hand on like the small of my back (because I was trying to back away) and whispered "It'll be fun just come on." Weeeell, as you can guess, this looks a little shady. I mean, this guy is still holding my hand, he's whispering in my ear, got his hand on my back, and we're standing in the doorway of a dark room. Which is GREAT timing for my boyfriend to look over and see us. So my bf storms over and he's like "What the he** are you doing?" And I had already pulled away from J but J shoves me behind him and is all like "What's your problem, dude? I'm a little busy right now." Ha, yeah, let's just say that REALLLY pissed my bf off. He gets all up J's face and says "Yeah, with MY girlfriend. Now get the f*$@ away." Well, I myself would walk away right about now, but J's got the doorway blocked so I'm kind of just standing there like a worthless bag of poo, trying to get out when, oh goody, J makes it worse and said something like "Well your girlfriend is obviously a slu* if she was about to come in her with me" and before I could say "I wasn't going in there with you!!", my bf punched J in the face. They start getting into it right there, and a few other guys pull em off of eachother. They both got a little beat up, and the girl throwing the party got all pissed and was like "Get out of here!" So yeah. We got kicked out of the party... I felt HORRIBLE. I mean, like, I just felt so bad. I know I wasn't the one getting into the fight, but I just felt really guilty. Not for getting kicked out of the party but because my bf had like a blackeye and gosh, I just feel horrible, I feel like its all my fault. I mean, like jeez. I apologized like a million times to him, and his parents because they were all "What happened!?!" and ugh. I just feel so bad. My bf says its no big deal and he doesn't get why I feel so guilty but he got hurt and I feel like its my fault. What can I do to make it up to him? Am I being stupid for feeling like this?
Well, you definitely could have handled the situation better right off the bat. If I was at a party with my boyfriend and a guy grabbed my hand period, I would pull my hand away, tell him I have a boyfriend and walk away. You shouldn't have let him lead you all the way to the entrance of an empty room. You probably just got nervous or something, but for future reference, things like that can be avoided if you stand your ground right off the bat before things get weird.
In the meantime, it sounds like your boyfriend's going to be fine. Yeah, he has a black eye, but that will clear up within a week and all will be well again. It's not technically your fault that they got into a fight because your boyfriend is the one that threw a punch, but as I said, that all could have been avoided.
Your boyfriend has already said that it's no big deal, so I'd just let it die away. Don't keep bringing it up. You can ask him how he feels tomorrow or whatever, but just leave it alone after that.
You should go out and see a movie or go to dinner tomorrow. That will make things less weird then if you just didn't talk about it for a week, then tried to hang out again. If there's a movie out that you know he wants to see, ask him if he wants to go with you. If dinner and a movie isn't your thing, take him for a walk somewhere quiet and romantic. A beach, lake, the park; depends where you live and what's around. Or if there's a location that you know he likes to hang out that he doesn't get to go to very often, offer to go there with him. The whole thing will blow over, just don't be weird about it and bring it up all the time.
Darby(:
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Ok, so i am a day dreamer and lately i have been day dreaming about this gorgeous guy that i made up and now he is all i can think about. I draw what he is supposed to look like. I think about him CONSTANTLY. Well, earlier today i saw him. It sounds crazy because i made him up, but i saw him a party. And he looked at me like he knew me but he didnt know from where. When i saw him i thought i was dreaming but i wasnt. It turned out we are going to the same school in fall so i went to talk to him but after that i couldn't find him and someone told me he left. What should i do? Should i pursue him in the fall and try to date him or do you think it was my mind just playing with me?
It's probably just a strange coincidence that you met a guy that looks like your dream guy. If you see him at school in the fall, there's no reason not to get to know him. The guy was probably really there since someone else at the party saw him and said that he had just left. If your 'dream guy' is the typical tall dark and handsome, it would be easy to find a guy that looks similar to that. If your dream guy is a scene kid, it would be nearly impossible not to run into someone that looks similar to him because most of the 'scene' guys look extremely similar.
Darby(:
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is pot and weed the same thing?
Yes
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15/f so i was sick for about five days and went to the doctor and got some blood work done - everything came back negative. then i got an ultra sound and they found out that i have gallstones and sludge in my gallbladder, so i have to get my gallbladder removed next week. its really rare for kids to have problems with their gallbladders so everyone is baffled by this including me. i am actually underweight, so my eating habits obviously did not affect this. they have no idea how this could have happened. along with that i've noticed that there has been some brownish redish stuff coming out of where my period comes out of, but my period doesnt come for a couple more weeks. but its not like blood at it its way more brown so its not my period and its really weak and i just find it in my underwear sometimes. could this have to do with my gallbladder? its never happened before i dont know what it is please help.
I had to get my gallbladder taken out when I was sixteen. I'm underweight too, at the time I think I was 5'7 and weighed around 90 pounds. They had no idea what could have happened to mine either. It just stopped functioning. Maybe it has something to do with being underweight? They told me they never saw kids in there that had to get their gallbladders taken out. They were baffled about mine, too.
As far as the spotting between periods, that probably doesn't have anything to do with your gallbladder. Your period could just be out of wack since you've been sick. You could bring it up to your doctor when you go in for your surgery. He/She would know for sure if that's a side effect, but I really don't think it is. They would probably just have you go to your gynecologist if it continues.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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here is this guy who has had a crush on me for two years minimum. He got up the nerve to ask me to dance (at my Bat Mitzvah) and, as I was having a mental breakdown at the time, I said no. Even if I weren't having the mental breakdown, I would have said no, but without the snarl at the end. As I am thirteen, I think that relationships are stupid at this age. Most ages, really, since guys seem to be lacking in the intellectual department. Anyway, this guy is friends with my friends, and they have been nagging me ever since. That is a LONG TIME!!!! So how do I get them to shut up?
Just explain to them once and for all that you are not interested in this guy and you are not going to date him. Tell them that you're honestly sick of hearing about it and that you would greatly appreciate them leaving you alone about it.
There's nothing wrong with not being interested in dating guys when you're thirteen. I thought being a guy's girlfriend at 13 was silly, too. Your friends shouldn't be bothering you about it, but it's just a maturity thing. If you guys were older, they wouldn't even mention it twice.
Just try telling them in a very serious tone that you aren't going to date him and that you're done talking to them about it. If they bring him up again, just don't respond to that particular subject. Once you tell them that you're not going to talk about it again, there's nothing wrong with enforcing that by changing the subject or ignoring comments that are made about him.
Darby(:
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So, I got linked to this site and I'm basically on the last thread of my sanity, and thought ,"Hey why not." The bottom line is I cheated on my girlfriend. It was a terrible situation, where we weren't together, but turned into more of a blackmail when I got back with her, "If you don't sleep with me again I'll tell." After a few times of destroying my morals even more, I put an end to it, and sure enough, my girlfriend was told about what I had done. I have been with many chicks, had many heartbreaks, but this is one I can not leave behind. I have never been more sure about anything in my entire life, unlike a lot of people who ask advice on here. I have exhausted a lot of time and effort into trying to find resolution with us for months (and I know she's still in between on the idea of giving me another chance), and I would give anything in the world to obtain it. What should I do? A lot of things I read on here about cheaters are very close-minded, and leave no cushion for the human error, or even the possibility of an honest change. Please help.
It's true that a lot of girls follow the 'Once a cheater, always a cheater.' rule. But it's a good sign that your ex is at least trying to decide whether or not she should give you a second chance.
The first thing you need to do is not make excuses for cheating on her. Don't say, "Well, she said I had to have sex with her again or she'd tell you that I did it once!!" Do you even realise how awful that sounds?
You need to admit to her that you did it, that you shouldn't have done it, that after you did it once, you should have told her, and that you should have never done it more than once. I'm guessing you've already tried these things, so you need to do something much bigger and nicer that she'll remember and will really open her eyes up.
You should surprise her with something really nice. No, you shouldn't try to buy her love, but dinner at a nice restaurant followed by a romantic walk along a beach, lake, or in a park would be nice. It would also give you a chance to talk.
You, of course, know her unimaginably better than I do so you know what she likes and dislikes. Think back to the beginning of your relationship and do something having to do with that. The first place you went on a date, an inside story, or something that you know she's always really loved will work wonders.
You're going to really have to work your ass off to prove to her that you really are sorry and that it will never happen again. Write down how you feel about her and memorise that so you can tell her in pretty little cleaned up sentences. You don't want to just babble about what happened and how bad you feel. Your conversation needs to have strong aim and direction. If you need help planning that, you can inbox me.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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so i have this 'step-mom' who isn't actually my step-mom i just tell people that she is. she is actually my fathers girlfriend whom he has a child with who is therefore my half-brother. so even though her and my father ar not married i call her my step-mom and ive known her for about three years. anyway, she used to be really nice to me, like even a couple weeks ago she was still nice to me, but lately she's been a complete bitch. i'm really sick right now and im getting surgery in a couple days, and when she gets home from work she comes in and yells at me for not doing anything and about how everythings dirty and how i didnt do anything all day and i just sat there and watched tv. what am i supposed to do, im freaking sick and i cant walk!!! she doesnt even look at me anymore, never talks or anything. my dad hasnt said anything about it either. she left on a trip with my half brother about an hour ago and didnt even let me say bye to him, and she didnt even say bye to me, she just left. what did i do to her? i dont know what i should do anymore, i try to be nice any chance i can but she blows me off. any suggestions?
I think you should talk to her and your father about it. It's not fair that you have to deal with her being rude to you, especially when you're ill and about to get surgery. You really shouldn't be stressing out about things like that right now.
To be honest, there are just people like that. I don't know if she's always felt like that and is just showing it now or what. But I know a lot of people that get mad when they're at work and someone else is at home. When I lived back home, my father would get mad at me if I was at home when he got home from work, even if I was only how because I had a day off of work. She might just really hate her job and has misplaced anger that she's putting on you.
Either way, it needs to stop. So if you're not comfortable talking to her about it at all, try talking to your father first. Tell him how she's been acting (even if he's already seen it first hand) and ask him if he'll talk to her about how she's been acting.
In all honesty, you probably didn't do anything to her to deserve a reaction like that. She probably just upset because you've been sick and laying around the house while she's at work. It's stupid, of course, but as I said; she's probably just got misplaced anger.
It might clear up once you get your surgery done and get back to moving around and helping around the house. You should still talk to her or your father about it though, even if it is just for future reference.
If you decided to talk to her about it, approach her with it when she's calm and relaxed a while after she gets home from work or on one of her days off. Say something like, "We've always gotten along really well, but since I got ill, I feel like you've been angry with me. What did I do wrong?"
It will be straightforward and you'll get a direct answer back. She might not even realise that she's been acting like such a wench to you. If you bring it to her attention, she'll be able to figure out where her anger is coming from and put the blame on the right person or situation.
Darby(:
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hey guys, im sure you have all heard of the new movie coming out, District 9. Well I heard that there was a secret district or something that is owned by the government, and they do really secret testing there and anyone that tries to get in is shot on the spot. I forget the name of the district. Does anyone know what Im talking about? Any info? thanks
The person below me is correct. Area 51 is a military base located in Nevada. The government owns it and they're very hush-hush about it. Most of the times I've heard about it, it's been about either the secret testing you're talking about or UFO sightings.
Here's a couple sites:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Area_51
http://www.area51.org/
Darby
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14/female, my boyfriend is 18/m
okay, well on august 13th, my boyfriend is going to jail for 6 months, minimum...and I decided I'm going to stay with him while hes in, anyone gone through this before ? any suggestions on how to make it work ??
thanks :)
I've had boyfriends go to jail for a month or so before, never six months though. I don't think you understand how difficult that will be. It's not like he can call you up to see how you're doing or hang out with you or anything. Going to see him in jail will just make it harder for both of you because you'll see what your relationship is missing out on.
I'm not even going to get into the part where you're a fourteen year old dating an 18 year old that's in legal trouble. You're old enough to know the situation and why that's bad.
The only thing you can do to stay together is write each other often. He can get a calling card while he's in there, if he has the money to. He can talk to you for a few minutes that way. You could also go for visits, if you want to. I'm not sure how it will be looked upon for someone in jail to have their fourteen year old girlfriend coming for a visit.
Basically, just write each other often. Tell him what you've been up to and don't fall for anyone else while he's in there.
Darby
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how many people love their life no matter what happen or happened in your life??i do even through my ups & down im happy to still be living =)
I can be a bit of a cynic at times, but I don't think it has much correlation between the things that are happening in my life. Half the time I feel like I'm in the game and the other half I'm fairly detached from the things and people around me.
As far as loving life though, I'm cool with it. I wouldn't say I hate it or love it very much. I'm somewhere in between all the time no matter what ups or downs I'm going through.
Darby
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Ok...Me again..hah
In May I wrote this guy a letter pouring out every single feeling i have for him. We didn't talk for 2 weeks...and then talked again like nothing happened basically. And when I asked him what he thought about what I wrote, he say he was confused and I ask about what, nd he just say confused. (Hes never say anything about liking me, not liking me, or us just being friends >
He's probably still talking to you because he enjoys your friendship and company. If he liked you as more than a friend, he probably would have admitted that after he read your letter. It's possible that you went overboard in your letter and felt overwhelmed for a couple weeks. That could be why he felt 'just confused' about the whole thing. It's hard to get bombarded with someone confessing their innermost feelings; especially if he had no idea beforehand that you liked him as more than a friend.
If I were you, I would just leave it alone for now. First of all, you're going out of state to college in a couple weeks. That means it's an awful time for you to try to get involved in a relationship where you're living now. Also, because your friendship is so good right now, you don't want to mess anything up by pressing the issue more.
On the other hand, it's possible that he felt confused because he likes you, but you're about to go out of state for college and he would have to have a long-distance relationship with you. Long-distance relationships are hard enough without adding all the stress of college life on top of it. Either way, I'd say it's best to leave it alone for now. You'll be far away from him and you will be meeting new people all the time. It will be much easier to try to get over him now while you have a good opportunity to be away.
Darby(:
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Why is it that this is turning into a site for just teenagers? All they know about is boys, and sex, and makeup, and periods, and discharge, and tampons,etc. Why aren't there more sensible people here?
There are probably a few reasons why this site has mostly teenagers on it.
First of all, teenagers browse things like this more often than I would assume adults would. When they have questions about sex, boys, periods, ect.. they search advice on the internet and this site pops up.
Maybe you haven't noticed that most of the questions are about sex, boys, makeup, periods, ect.. According to you, that's all teenagers know about. So, in turn, isn't this site perfect for teenage advicenators?
As far as teenagers being sensible, I'm seventeen and would consider myself to be more than fairly sensible. I've also seen a lot of columnists on here that give good advice, use correct grammar/spelling, and clearly know about more than the few things you mentioned in your 'question'.
Darby
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i'm 19 years old, female.
i guess i've always had it easy, in a way. i've always been told i've been a pretty girl, and i do have confidence but i think it hurts me a little bit when it comes to guys.
i've been close with this guy for a couple years now. and i still never have the courage just to text him and say "whats up" or anything like that, i always try to come up with a reason to text him.
for example. last night me him and my cousin were watching a movie. he took up the whole couch and i was like okay well i'll just lay on the floor then. and he was like no we can share the couch. and so his head was on one end and my head was on the other end. well i was on the awkward end where i had to turn my head and my back was starting to killl after a while so i asked him to switch spots with me, he didnt. hes stubborn like that.
anyways late last night when i got home i texted him and said "i cant go to sleep because my back is killing because of you!" and he was like "i didnt do anything to your back" and i was like "you didnt switch spots with me when i asked you! whats up with that? i thought we did things for each other" and he was like "you asked at the end of the movie" and i was like "no i asked in the middle, but i'll remember that for next time" and he was just like "lol alright"
just things like that when i look back at it, i look SO stupid for saying that???!
why cant i just act normal around him. i feel like i whine alot around him, because in a way i think its flirty but i know its annoying but i cant help it.
how can i stop this!? suggestions?
Well, I'm not too sure about your taste in guys to be honest. Most of the guys I'm friends with would trade me spots the second I asked them to. It's just the polite thing to do. Stubborn is just another way to say he's a jerk.
He seems like a guy that's hard to talk to. Typically when you make a joke like that, guys will play along and joke about. If, for whatever reason, they refused to switch spots with you when your back was hurting, they would apologise for it if you brought it up in conversation later.
How close are you and this guy? If all he said was 'lol alright' and the conversation just died right after, it would seem that you guys aren't so close.
Anyway, I don't think that's such a stupid thing to say. Most people wouldn't think that's stupid, I don't think. He probably just doesn't have a sense of humour or didn't understand that you were messing around. It is sometimes hard to tell those things through text message.
As far as acting whiny, I wouldn't do it. I can't say what guys would think about it, but if any person was whining to me constantly, I'd be fairly annoyed with them. It's flirty-ish to do it every once in a while. But doing it often is probably a bit much.
Good luck(:
Darby
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I'm in a long distance relationship, and sometimes my boyfriend and I go silent. It's happened like 3 times during our 3 month relationship, and we'll both agree to leave the conversation and talk tomorrow when we're feeling more talkative.
But after we leave we both end up worrying that the other person is upset with us. And I'm tired of this. NOTHING is wrong, I've tried to explain to him, some days I am just quiet. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to stop (mainly his) our worrying? It's like we both know nothings wrong, that we're just being quiet, but we still worry hahaha. Please help, thanks!
The only thing you can do is explain to him when you guys are talking that you do get quiet at times. Then, when you have a day where you're both being quiet say, "Sorry. I'm not upset or anything. I'm just in a quiet mood."
That's as straightforward as you can possibly be about this subject. Maybe if he hears you say that you're not upset and that you're just not talkative that day, he'll be able to put his mind to ease.
It doesn't happen that often, on average once every month. It's okay to not constantly talk. When things are starting to get like that, just sign off or hang up before it gets to the point where there has been a weird ten minute silence. Just say, "Well, I'm going to go (whatever you're going to do when you end up signing off/hanging up). I'll get a hold of you later, okay?"
Darby(:
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I am a 28 year old male, and I am still letting my parents control my life. They demand alot of my time, and have no consideration for the fact I am now a man, and have a family and career of my own. Recently, My dad expressed to my three year old daughter that he did not want her around, then proceeded to tell my wife that we may think our daughter is the greatest thing since sliced bread, but she's not. This made me extremely upset, and I have not gone back to my parents house or spoke to my father since that happened three weeks ago. They are not interested in reconciling with my wife or daughter, but want things to be the same. I don't want that. What do I do?
What you need to do is set some ground rules. It sounds like your parents feel that they should have no boundaries when it comes to your life, but they clearly should considering your age and life situation. Your father definitely, definitely should not have spoken to your three year old daughter about not wanting her around. That's the first thing that needs to be straightened out. You're right to be upset about it. You need to tell your father that until he apologises and straightens up, you're no longer going to be able to come around with your family.
That doesn't mean that you should never see either of your parents, but I'd advise against taking your daughter to his house again if he's going to treat and talk to her as though she's a full-grown adult. It's not healthy at her age to hear things like that, as you well know.
I think you should find a time to go speak with your parents alone. A time when they're both going to be there and you have some time to explain your side of things and what needs to happen in the future.
Whatever they're doing wrong now should be laid out on the table during that conversation. If they're constantly calling and checking up on you or demanding that you come over more often, let them know what you will do and when you will do it. Make it well known to them that you're a full grown adult- and a father/husband.
Tell them that they are not welcome to discuss your child to your wife in a negative light, as your father did recently. Tell them that if they do not want to see your granddaughter, they will be missing out. It's their house, so you can't force them to let her come around. But let them know that if they do not act more appropriate and respectful to your daughter and wife, they'll be seeing you dramatically less than they are right now.
Once you set your ground rules with them, discuss anything that needs to be discussed and answer any questions they have. The most important thing is to stick to the boundaries you set. Don't be a pushover and let them treat you or your family poorly. You've got a responsibility as a husband and, most importantly, a father to protect your family from harmful people. If they're going to continue to treat you all like dirt, you should continue to keep them at a much further distance than you have been.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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okay soooo i'm going out with this guy and hes nice and funny and pretty hot, but i think the only reason i might be going out with him is so i can get over my ex!! The reason y me and my ex broke up was because he was going out of town for the whole summer and we wouldnt see eachother at all. I think i still have feelings for my ex and not my new bf wat do i do??
plus my new bf is in Hawaii right now in a surf competition and im afraid if i break up with him he'll do bad!!
WAT DO I DO???
You should break up with him when he gets back. It's disrespectful to break up with someone over the phone or through texting anyway. You're right to want to end things with him. It's only fair that you end things if you don't really have feelings for him. But do it when he gets back.
Darby(:
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Im sorry for making this long but i would REALLY REALLY appreciate your help
Ok well im 17 and my girlfriend was 15. She broke up with me because she's to scared to lose me. She said when were together she feels like nothing can go wrong. But we don't get to see eachother as much as we want to and she starts missing me. She thinks alot and it always ends up ending what we have (its happened before). I love her but she says she wont be able to handle it when i leave for college. Which is only a couple of miles away, but we wont be seeing eachother at school. I tried to convince her that everything would be alright but she wont trust me. She said she wants to be friends so nothing will go wrong and she wont have to worry.
We see things very differently. She wants to be close friends and i dont. I see it as im looking at someone who i care about more then a friend but cant have. And she sees it as someone that she had a good relationship with.
I dont know what we are or what we are going to be. But i want us to be together, i want her to trust me. But i dont think thats going to happen. I dont know if this would change anything but she said that she's unhappy that i dont talk to her family alot.
My question is what do you think about this? What do you recommend that i do? And how is she feeling?
We broke up a couple of days ago and i think it was on the 3rd day that i agreed to being friends. Which i usually do after we break up. There's alot more to this question, ive been writing to vent. And i realized that she really doesnt love me. When we were together i was happy but it took us breaking up and me having the time to think about our relationship to see that.
Some of the reasons
. She would do stuff that would bother me even though they would bother her if i did them (such as talking to her ex which she's used as a excuse to breaking up with me)
. Push me to changing things about myself (being more talkative to other people, gaining more weight). I know it doesn't sound bad, but she said she wasn't happy with me not having those things.
I know she doesn't love me but i still miss her. Like i told you ive been writing alot. If she were to say she wanted to get back together do you think i should bring up my writings even if they might be hurtful? Or just forgive and try to forget?
Okay, I'll take this in parts.
To sum everything up, it sounds like she's just immature. Which makes sense because she's fifteen. She's probably confused and stressing herself out over nothing because she doesn't understand how relationships work. Typically, you just have a relationship with someone and don't worry about the future unless you're at an older age. It doesn't make sense to me that she would be so worried about you going to college if it's two miles away. Just because she won't see you at school? Do you spend all seven hours of the school day together? You have every class together? Probably not. You probably see each other an hour total at school.
It sounds like she's just insecure and immature. She seems to be insecure because she's so anxious and worried about something going wrong. She's so worried that you guys will end up breaking up, that she'd rather just break up with you? That doesn't make a lot of sense.
I'm not trying to sound harsh here, and I'm sure you care a lot about her, but the only reason she would be acting like this is because of a lack of experience in relationships. It's not fair that she's dragging you around and breaking up with you for doing things that she's doing, too. (talking to exes) But it just a matter of maturity.
My honest advice to you is to let her go. At least for now. She's just not mature enough. You're not that much older than her, but those are two crucial years and she'll probably grow up a lot during them.
But, you probably won't take that advice. So my answer to your last question is, you probably shouldn't show her the writing. It might be too hurtful for her, especially since you're already broken up. BUT, there's nothing wrong with writing things down and trying to explain them to her when you guys are talking. Explain to her that it's not fair that she can talk to exes and you can't. Explain to her that you going to college won't be as big of a deal as she thinks. I know tons of people that are in college that I still hang out with all the time.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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I like 4 guys..A LOT! One guy is really athletic, good looking, nice, and we have soo much in common. Also, his sibling said he had a crush on me. The other guy is nice, not that good looking, but funny and fun to b around. The third guy I havent seen for a long time but he's funny, athletic, hot, and we share the same hobbies. The fourth guy lives in a totally different place and sometimes he writes letters to me. He said that I'm pretty, he's really hot, atheltic, kind, nice, and sweet. I like them all...WHICH ONE SHOULD I CHOOSE?! or should I just let them all go and pick someone else?
Out of the four short descriptions, it sounds like the first guy would be best. You like how he looks and you have a lot in common. Plus, there's a big possibility that he likes you too. The second guy seems like a good choice, except for the fact that you don't find him attractive. Usually, if you have a crush on someone, you find them attractive, even if they're not attractive by society's standards.
The third and fourth guy aren't good options. The third guy probably lives away from you too, considering the fact that you haven't seen him in a long time. And the fourth guy would definitely be a long distance relationship, which is hard work, especially as a young teenager (which I'm guessing you are).
Bottomline is, you need to do what you see best fit. From what you said, the first guy sounds the best, but if I knew them, my opinion might be completely different. Just step back and think about the pros and cons of each guy. Think of which one you would really rather have a relationship with. Which ones you think of as a fling and which one you think would last longer.
If you can't narrow it down to one guy, none of these guys are probably right for you.
Darby(:
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my best friend and I have known eachother for like 2 years. I've been hanging out with other people and all of a sudden she starts hanging out with other people but I always try to make time for her. I have just been realizing our friendship is dying. I try talking to her but it seems like shes upset with me or not intrested. What should i do?
Well, if you're hanging out with other people, she's probably upset about that. You're upset because she's hanging out with other people, so why wouldn't she feel the same way? Especially because you're initiating the change in friends. There's nothing wrong with hanging out with other people, and that's what you need to explain to your friend. But you should both make time for each other, too. Tell her that you don't want to hang out with her less, you just want to meet other people too.
Don't start the conversation by accusing her of anything, because then she'll definitely be uninterested or upset. Just be calm and tell her that you miss hanging out as much as you used to.
Good luck,
darby(:
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