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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
ok look. ive been having periods for like over a year now. and like. every time i use a tampon i leek with in 30 min to an hour... even if i use the super ones. and its not like i bleed a whole lot either. just regular.
am i doing somthing wrong?
The Answer
You are probably not loosing too much blood. That is just silly. Chances are the blood is just flowing too quickly for the tampon to absorb it all.
First off, double check that you are inserting the tampon all the way into your vagina. You shouldn't be able to see anything but string. You might be leaking just because it's not far enough in.
But leaking a bit, especially during the heaviest flow days isn't really unusual. On those days you might want to wear a really thin pad as well as your tampon to catch any leaks.
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The Question
My boyfriend & I have been together for almost a year. We haven't had any kind of sex, but it's getting to the point where that's the only place to go. I'm not ready and there's a few reasons still. I don't love him yet and I'm very self-concious. When we're in the mood and getting passionate, I really want to but I stop myself and feel like I'm teasing him. Should I really wait or give in to my temptations?
The Answer
Of course you should wait if you don't feel ready. Sex isn't something you do just 'cause you've done everything else.
But you also really should talk to your boyfriend about this and make sure your intentions are clear. Also ask him if he is feeling teased and dicuss the lines that you aren't willing to cross with eachother. That way everything is out in the open and there shouldn't be any bullying or expectations beyond what you both have decided on.
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The Question
okay so maybe im just crazy but lately, everything my parents have ever done for me has suddenly come crashing down on me like a wave. like now im trying to have them do the least for me because i feel just so...i guess i could say sad because i don't want them giving up everything for me. like i regret doing and saying bad things. and i know when they are gone im going to regret everyhting and i won't be able to say im sorry. what can i do to feel better about this?
The Answer
Well they aren't gone yet right? Then you still have time.
Lately I've been hit by how supportive my parents are as well. They aren't perfect people and I'm not perfect either, but they love me and have been wonderful to me and I am grateful.
Call your parents or write them a letter explaining how you feel. You could also make them a nice dinner, or buy them a gift certificate to a restaurant, or clean the house or mow the lawn or something to make their lives easier as a small thank you for all they've done.
There is no reason for you to feel guilty. Your parents probably don't feel the slightest bit bad about making sacrifices for you. You are their child and they want you to be happy and have a good life. I do think a lot of your sorrow will go away if you just take the time to thank them and let them know you love them.
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The Question
MY friend is like relly relly relly skinny I mean she's thin right. My other friend is pretty thickish..I mean she has huge boobs and she's um overweight 4 sure. The problem is my friends, esp the thinest one, complains about her stomach. I'm overweight...and I kinda luk it in my school uniform.
They always complain "oh I luk so fat" "my stomach's getting huge" "oh if I eat chocolate i'll get diabetes" and it sorta sucks.
I'm not jealous of them because my stomach isn't huge it's jus a lil fat. It makes me feel bad because sometimes I'm down and they complain and complain and I get so upset. Plus I'm relly RELLY emotional.
Is there something I should do or should I jus act like I don't carE???
The Answer
By all means ask your friends to stop, not because their discussion makes you feel bad (that isn't a very good reason really) but because the constant discussion of ones weight is a waste of time. This is what I often say to my female friends "Look, if you want to loose weight and talk about working our and eating healthy I would LOVE to listen and support you, but if you just going to complain, please stop. Surely we can think of better things to talk about."
In the end your feelings are your feelings and not their fault. If you are really emotional, then that is something you have to work on for yourself, not something they have to tip-toe around. However, girls who constantly complain about their weight tick me off too, so go ahead and ask them to stop. If they don't, ignore them or steer the conversation away from their weight. Make it clear it isn't something you have the slightest interest in discussing.
(Getting diabetes because they ate chocolate? That is the dumbest thing I've heard today. New studies actually suggest that dark chocolate might reduce the risk of developing diabetes. Sure if she is already diabetic avoiding chocolate is smart, but she isn't going to catch it from an O'Henry for goodness' sake.)
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The Question
I am about to run for Sophomre class President at my school. We are permitted to post no more than 20 9'' x 12'' posters. I want these to stand out, so I was wondering...
What colors make you stop and look?
Does big font attract you?
And any other information that you think would be beneficial to me. If you have any further questions, please submit them to my inbox-- Igotamonopoly.
And also, pleease note that I don't care what your favorite color is. Automatic one if you just tell me your favorite clolr without justification.
Thank you so much for helping me with my campaign!!
The Answer
Neon colours certainly make me stop and look, but I find em really hard to read and just ... obnoxious, but yeah it is the most eye catching. If you can, I'd invest in stronger paper then normal, it looks better, lasts longer and is bolder.
Most people wont look at a poster for more then three seconds, so you need to make sure the really important information is really clear; your name, what you are running for, and maybe one point you support. So yeah, big text is good, no one will read a bunch of tiny bullet points.
Normally, after a person sees a sign once, they never really look at it again, that's why I think it's a great idea to have a few different signs that are all united by a theme (the colour, the size or the text) so people know they are all yours, but look different enough to attract attention again.
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The Question
There are these kids on my bus and they talk about things that are just egregious like “hanging all of the n****r*”, “shooting all of the f*g*”, and lighting living animals on fire and watching them suffer. How can I let them know that this behavior/ talk is unacceptable? I don’t care where you come from, this behavior is insane. It makes me feel uncomfortable and upset. There is an African-American boy on my bus and it is just so terrible to watch all of this happen in front of him. These kids are about 12 to 14. I didn’t know that people could be so wicked at all, let alone so young. How can I handle this situation??
Thank you
The Answer
Tell your principal.
Hate speech, threats and violence against animals are not protected as freedom of speech or expression. I find it absolutely ridiculous that anyone suggested that they are.
You have a right to ride the bus in a safe, pleasant and law-abiding environment, but you don't need to approach them yourself. It's not your job to discipline your peers, it will only make them focus on you. It's your bus driver's job and your principal's job to ensure behavior like this doesn't take place. Go to them, with your parents and any people on the bus that you can trust as well.
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The Question
is it true that after 2 hours of dinking baking soda and water that it will hide the use of meth in a persons system if so how does it work
The Answer
Absolute Nonsense. If you end up setting something on fire while making meth, then yes, water and baking soda is a good thing, because it neutralizes that reaction better then water alone. But the same thing does not hold true inside the human body.
Actually, most methamphetamine and cocaine are cut with baking soda to make them absorb quicker into the body and increase the effects.
Certainly, drinking a lot of water will help to flush your system and make you behave more like a sane person, but it doesn't get the meth out of you and wont fool a drug test, not by a long shot.
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The Question
Long story short a teacher who taught me last year (but i still have to see around)has never liked me and vice versa as she has a nasty habit of picking on students in a ridiculously childish and unprofessional way. Well I've always refused to be intimidated by her and although I've never been rude I've always stood my ground.
Now she knows I won't be intimidated she's taken to spreading false but relatiely harmless rumours to my teachers behind my back. And just today I found out she's been telling people I've changed my mind about a university place I've accepted which I certainly haven't. I have no idea where she gets these things from or if she just akes them up but I've had enough and really want to say something to her about this incident in particular (as obviously if it gets back to the university it will not look good).
Any suggestions as to what I should say that puts an end to it without being rude?
I'm leaving school in a few days if it helps.
Thanks for reading
The Answer
Nothing you say to her will put an end to this nasty behavior. Next year will bring this woman a fresh new batch of possible victims and she will simply continue doing what she does, like many teachers who tell their class the same joke year after year and pass it off as new and clever.
I have to imagine you are more angry then afraid. Realistically, if the rumor got some crazy unexplainable way back to your University, there would be nothing they could do about it. Their offer to you and your acceptance of it are a legally binding contract, they can not withdraw or alter the offer on the basis of hearsay. Beyond that, I doubt they would actually care about such a rumor at all. They have your acceptance, until you contact them that binds you and you become responsible for paying them fees, if a student fails to cancel an offer properly, university's do not hunt them down. They just give the space away and collect the tuition and fees that are owed to the University. Unless you are some high profile athlete they are trying to seduce, no one at the university will take any notice.
Your best bet is to go to your Principal and ask them about formally filing a complaint or at least informing them about the teacher's behavior. They are her immediate supervisor and are responsible for all discipline and performance reviews. Just like when a sales person who is rude to you; you go talk to the manager. A conversation with the principal will probably be far more effective in the long run then trying to speak to her.
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The Question
How do I know if what my parents are doing to me is child abuse? They hit me really bad, but it never leaves a mark. They do throw stuff at me and yell and scream and hit me. They verbally abuse me and say God didn't know what he was thinking when he put me on this earth, and they tell me I'm never going to have a job, a husband, children, or friends and they say I'm going to go to jail. They say they love my sister more then me. They say it to my face. What would you recommend doing? Calling child abuse or reporting it. Is what they do to me considered child abuse?
The Answer
Yes, what you are describing fits the definition of physical and emotional child abuse.
You can call a support line like the Children's Help Hotline or, if you live in the US, call the National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453). If you call the Abuse Hotline you will not be removed from your home immediately. The authorities will investigate first, then they *might* choose to remove you. Also, your parents can't find out it was you who reported them. You could also choose to go through a teacher, social worker, or doctor. Those people are required by law to report cases of suspected child abuse.
If you are a teenager, things are going to be a bit more difficult. From my own experience, a lot of people just assume that the teenager is being difficult and the parents are being driven to abusive behaviors (utter nonsense.)
You can find a definition of child abuse, a bunch of other numbers to call and some good advice reading through this: http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ovc/publications/infores/help_series/pdftxt/whatyoushouldknow12_16.pdf
Good Luck and if you need anything else drop me a line.
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The Question
i am really intrested in being like a lighting guy for like tv and bands like the guy who makes the lights go a different color and move and stuff
anyone got websites about it please give them to me ill rate
sam
The Answer
Well, if you are looking for an education path you can go a few ways, into radio and television arts or film, but if you want to design for bands or fashion shows or live presentations you would be better to find a theatre program that had a lighting design specialty. Lighting for television and lighting for movies both use the same technology but in totally different ways. Although a lot of people learn to do both, but it's easiest to find training in one and then learn the other.
These websites have a ton of information on lighting design for the stage: http://www.mts.net/~william5/ and http://www.theatrecrafts.com/lx_home.html
In film the person in charge of lighting design is generally called the Director of Photography. Check this out for a description of that job: http://www.turtle-island.com/dp.html
Even if movies is your end goal, see if you can volunteer with your local stage crew or community theater, that's a great way to learn about the fixtures and physics you'll need to know later on.
Good Luck.
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The Question
13.f
can anyone diagnose what's wrong with me?
sore throat, popped ears, abrnomaly heavy discharge, feeling extremely tired.
could this just be because im expecting my period any day now? im not sure since ive only had it for a year and a half. any advice apreciated.
The Answer
No one here can diagnose you with anything; we aren't doctors so that would be very irresponsible of us.
Your symptoms don't sound too serious to me though, tired, sore throat and popping ears could just be a sinus cold and heavier discharge is not abnormal as you get closer to your period.
If they really worry you or wont go away, then see a doctor to get diagnosed.
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The Question
in school the other day me and a head of the guidance office. Got into a argument over if i was cutting A period. I told her i was in the school but didn't sign in right away because i didn't want to go to the detention room (T1).i told her i was at school in the cafe room. she keep telling me im lying to tell her the true. i started to yell and told her i know where the hell i was at. she kept saying in know what i saw but she had here times mixed up and when i told her about it she corrected here self. now at home i lost my computer right. my mom say i have to tell her im sorry for the way i acted but i feel that i didn't it in my own self defence. But this is not the only time she tryed to get me to lye or tell here were i was at.
The Answer
Being right is great, doesn't mean you don't owe her an apology. Saying sorry doesn't make her right, it means you recognize the way you behaved wasn't perfect.
And you weren't perfect. You yelled at her, and you circumvented the system of your school, which isn't there just to punish you, but also there for your own safety. You should have signed in and you must be smart enough to you know you should have. It sounds like you've had run ins with this guidance counselor before for not being where you were supposed to be or for fooling around while you should be in class. So, you definately aren't perfect.
It doesn't mater what another person does to you. If you wrong them, you should apologize because that's what an intelligent, moral human being does when they make mistake.
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The Question
I got a sewing machine for christmas and I still haven't really used it for one reason: most things require serging. I cannot afford a serger. I tried searching online and can't find much. When it says "serge this...blahblahblah" in a pattern's instructions, what should I do since I don't own a serger?
thanks much.
btw, my sewing machine is a newer machine.
The Answer
Serging is really not as necessary as most patterns will make you think, it makes for tidier seams, and can stop fabric from fraying a bit but it's not the end all and be all of sewing.
In most cases you can just use a wide zigzag with short stitches just outside of a line of straight stitches to achieve the same effect then trim as closely as possible to your zigzag stitching. (When seam's need to pressed open you must zigzag on both pieces of fabric, not the two together.)
You can also use a bias bound edge, or a rolled hem if the edge is going to be seen, take a look at what I mean by that here: http://www.sewing.org/enthusiast/html/el_biasbinding.html and http://www.sewneau.com/how.to/rolled.hem.html.
Although both of those techniques are called hems there is no reason they can't be used inside the clothing in order to prevent fraying, just make sure your fabric can deal with the added bulk.
I'd also suggest you invest in Reader Digest's Complete Book of Sewing, it's really easy to pick up second-hand and every sewer should have a copy.
Good Luck.
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The Question
so, does being sexually active, in a doctor's opinion (like they ask you when you go), specially mean HAVING SEX, or does it mean having any kind of sex (ex. manual or oral)?
The Answer
Sexually active tends to mean any kind of sexual activity involving another human being. Manual and oral sex can affect your health in a lot of the same ways that vaginal sex can even though the risk of STD's and pregnancy are lower. So, even though I am not a doctor, I would think that yes, sexual active means any kind of sexual activity, even oral or manual.
It's always good to be honest with your doctor and tell them any information they might need. You have no idea what might be relevant, they can't tell anyone else what you tell them, and they only have your best interests at heart, so just tell them what there is to tell.
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The Question
Hi all I am 28 years old and I have a daughter who is going to be 9 this year and she has been asking me how babies get into the tummy and what pads are for and I am having truble getting the right way to say it...As I dont remember my mom talking to me about it...But I wont to be the one to tell her so she will be able to talk to me about anything....I was not comfertable talking to my mom and I wont my daughter to be able to talk to me.......if anyone could help me please do.thanks
The Answer
(I want to apologize for disappearing on you in the chatroom, my computer flipped out on me.)
My littlest sister, when she about 6 years old asked my mom "How do babies get in the lady's tummy?" My mom turned bright red and stammered for a moment before my 10 year old sister informed her "They grow there."
"Thanks!" said the six year old and ran off happily.
I tell this story just to illustrate my point. I think the best way is the simplest way. The birds and bees talk, given all at once, is pretty overwhelming. If you want your child to be comfortable, give her the information she asks for in a simple comfortable way. She might not be ready for the explanation of the act; "They grow there." might be a sufficient answer for her right now (although she is a good bit older then my sister was). If she wants to know more, encourage her ask you follow up questions so that she is an active participant in the discussion, not just the recipient of a whole bunch of confusing information.
I particularly liked the advice offered on this site, http://www.millville.org/School_Pages_html/Elem_Schools_f/CFC_f/earlychild/early_whacked/sex.html, it covers a lot of other things, but also suggests a book my mother left sitting around the house most of my life called PERIOD, which, by my memory, you might find to be age-appropriate. If you want more sites like that, a google search "talking to kids about sex" turns up a good bit. Good luck.
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The Question
My family moved into a really nice house in December 05, and after a few months we realized we coulden't afford the $6000-a-month mortgage. Along with the mortgage, we have to pay $12,000 a year on taxes. We would be fine if we didnt have any other bills to pay. To help my dad, my mom started working. But she works on commision; Some paychecks are not as good as others. So to help her out, I got a job at the same place she works at. But what kills me is that both my parents gamble a lot! They gamble at least once a week, and have never won anything over than $500. And thats if their lucky. Two months ago, we went to Las Vegas and they lost $8,000 and tomorrow their going back to Vegas and I know they are going to lose even more.
If we cant afford our house, why are my parents gambling?! I feel like I have no right to tell them what to do with THEIR money, but if we cant afford the house to where my mom and I have to get a job...shoulden't I say something? I need to know how to approach my parents, or if I should say anything at all.
I really like this house and it would suck if we had to move. Thanks.
The Answer
If you are old enough to worry about this situation, understand the details, and get a job to help out, then you are old enough to at least voice your concerns.
Gambling with money that is needed to pay debts or for necessary things like food and shelter is a definite sign of a physiological addition to gambling and you aren't doing your parents any favors by not bringing this up.
You can do this without attacking or blaming your parents, try is like this:
Tell them, together or separately that you love them and are worried.
Tell them exactly what they are doing and how it makes you feel: "I am scared when you leave to gamble in Vegas because I feel we might loose our home." (Use 'I' statements not 'You' statements. Just say "I feel angry when you gamble." not "You make me angry."
Make sure to listen to what they have to say, you don't need to argue with them, but when they are done tell them what you would like them to do. ie. seek counseling for their addiction, or stop gambling with money needed for the mortgage.
They might not listen to you but it's important for them and for you that you take this step. If possible, talk to your grandparents, aunts or uncles, other adults who love you and your parents and might understand and be willing to back you up. Research local support groups for gamblers and see if they have any advice for you as well.
Last of all, I'd suggest you stop giving them the money you make. As long as you give them that money you are condoning the way they choose to use it. Save it, for yourself, or to treat your family to the things you choose too.
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The Question
me and my husband are trying to have a baby...but my best friend of seven years called my mom behind my back and was telling her that she doesnt want me to get pregnant, and that she doesnt want us to be together and that when she gets home shes gonna do everything in her power to split us up...she even said she was gonna bring a bunch of guys around me and stuff to try and get me to leave him to go with these guys so...i told my husband about it and he got mad and said i shouldnt even talk to her anymore...so i wrote her a letter telling her how i felt...i told her that it was selfish for her to want to split us up when i am happy she should be happy for me so she called me and said that i was selfish because i didnt want to come to mississippi to see her and stuff and that was selfish of me so she evidently thinks its ok for her to do what she did because i couldnt just up and go to mississippi to see her...what should i do?
The Answer
Ignore her.
Your 'friend' is out of touch with reality. If this is the way she is going to behave each time she doesn't get exactly what she wants (i.e. you visiting her) then she is absolutely no good.
Chances are she wont actually do anything to split you up. I mean really, you and your husband are adults who are happily in love, it doesn't matter what guys or girls she sends around does it? What a pitiful threat.
If she continues to call you or your mother to harass you, then block her number or call the cops, but for now, she isn't worth your attention. Ignore her temper tantrum unless it becomes abusive.
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The Question
If you smoke Chronic ^Marijuana laced with Cocaine^ is there a possibility that you will become addicted to cocaine alone or both marijuana and cocaine?
Please help i'll rate high for good answers!
The Answer
Both substances are addictive. Cocaine even more so then marijauna. Both result in physical changes in the brain, which ends up creating an addiction.
Using either of them, together or separately, in any amount, can cause you to become an addict. You might only ever use them together, that is just a preference, like the difference between smoking something and snorting it. The end result will be you'll be addicted to a drug, and with chronic use, most likely to both drugs. The cocaine addiction will be far harder and more painful to break.
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The Question
what if i put panties back in draw or hamper after im done they wont know. and i still can continue enjoying their scents. we will visit enough so i can get them back w/o getting caught
The Answer
Although not getting caught will let you avoid their anger and embarrassment, it does not make what you are doing any more acceptable.
Look, I do understand that this is what feels good for you. I am a rather sexual person myself and I appreciate the intent, but the bottom line is you are FORCING THEM WITHOUT THIER CONSENT TO PARTICAPATE IN YOUR FANTASY.
What you are doing is not different from installing a camera in their bedrooms and watching them without their knowledge. Both are flat out wrong. Sexual acts involving two people (and yes, even just one person and the other persons scent or property) must be consensual. That’s why naked photos taken of people below the age of consent, or without the consent of the subject, are illegal. It is the same principal.
Unless they have given you their consent to enjoy their panties, what you are doing isn't right. Hell, for all I know they'll be perfectly fine with what you are doing! If they are, then it is consensual and you are free to do as any two consensual adults are with their bodies and property.
Your fascination with women who are close to you and their panties might be something you want to see a counselor about. Please understand I’m not saying your fetish is wrong at all, I don’t believe that, but the way you are choosing to act upon it is. You need to stop rationalizing and excusing your behavior. A therapist, especially one specializing in sex might be able to help you find healthy and proper ways to indulge in your fetish.
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The Question
i wear my mother-inlaw & sister-inlaws clean & scented panties.ihave plenty of my own,& my wifes pairs just dont do it. i want to tell them before they find out that i been in their draws &hampers.i dont wnat them to get mad or upset so im trying to find a way to let them know what im doing before they find out,especially my mother-inlaw.
The Answer
They are going to get mad.
It doesn't matter if you fess up before they find out. You have invaded their privacy for your own sexual gratification. They will be upset, insulted and probably feel victimized. They will be absolutely right to feel this way.
There are plenty of places online for people with your fetish to purchased panties used, and even more places for you to purchase new ones. Invading the privacy of your in-laws in not an option. Put whatever you took back, hope to hell they don't find out, and find your enjoyment elsewhere. There is nothing wrong with you fetish or enjoyment of panties, but your in-laws are off limits unless you feel like destroying any relationship and all trust you have with them.
Currently what you are doing, taking their panties without their consent, is not only very selfish and immoral, it's illegal. Stop it now, if you find you can't make yourself stop, then you have a sexual addition and need to seek professional help with it.
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