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If we dont have money, why are you gambling it all away?
My family moved into a really nice house in December 05, and after a few months we realized we coulden't afford the $6000-a-month mortgage. Along with the mortgage, we have to pay $12,000 a year on taxes. We would be fine if we didnt have any other bills to pay. To help my dad, my mom started working. But she works on commision; Some paychecks are not as good as others. So to help her out, I got a job at the same place she works at. But what kills me is that both my parents gamble a lot! They gamble at least once a week, and have never won anything over than $500. And thats if their lucky. Two months ago, we went to Las Vegas and they lost $8,000 and tomorrow their going back to Vegas and I know they are going to lose even more.
If we cant afford our house, why are my parents gambling?! I feel like I have no right to tell them what to do with THEIR money, but if we cant afford the house to where my mom and I have to get a job...shoulden't I say something? I need to know how to approach my parents, or if I should say anything at all.
I really like this house and it would suck if we had to move. Thanks.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Don't worry about your Mom working to help pay the bills, that's perfectly okay. If you are a dependent minor, you should not be working to help pay the bills simply because they are not responsible with their money. That's almost reversing roles, you as the parent and them as children. In this case helping is not really helping, it's hurting them.
Honestly, it might take the loss of a nice home or the loss of everything before they stop gambling. You may like your house yes, but if it is a struggle from day to day to live there..it's just a house and not a home. A home is happy..no matter how little it costs. As you are aware by watching them gamble, money doesn't buy happiness.
I don't think you can or should approach your parents. But, you can call someone trained in addictions to help. I would say anyone who loses that kind of money and risks everything else has a problem. Perhaps a counselor can do an intervention and convince them to seek help before it's too late. If not, you of course will have to take the fall with them, but hopefully they will eventually face the music!
See this site for info:
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If you are old enough to worry about this situation, understand the details, and get a job to help out, then you are old enough to at least voice your concerns.
Gambling with money that is needed to pay debts or for necessary things like food and shelter is a definite sign of a physiological addition to gambling and you aren't doing your parents any favors by not bringing this up.
You can do this without attacking or blaming your parents, try is like this:
Tell them, together or separately that you love them and are worried.
Tell them exactly what they are doing and how it makes you feel: "I am scared when you leave to gamble in Vegas because I feel we might loose our home." (Use 'I' statements not 'You' statements. Just say "I feel angry when you gamble." not "You make me angry."
Make sure to listen to what they have to say, you don't need to argue with them, but when they are done tell them what you would like them to do. ie. seek counseling for their addiction, or stop gambling with money needed for the mortgage.
They might not listen to you but it's important for them and for you that you take this step. If possible, talk to your grandparents, aunts or uncles, other adults who love you and your parents and might understand and be willing to back you up. Research local support groups for gamblers and see if they have any advice for you as well.
Last of all, I'd suggest you stop giving them the money you make. As long as you give them that money you are condoning the way they choose to use it. Save it, for yourself, or to treat your family to the things you choose too.
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Maybe your parents have an addiction, what you need to do is let someone you trust, like a counsular, or someone you know can help them.
Becaucse you are right, if they cant afford it you could lose your house! I dont know why they are doing it, but I do know its addictive..
You are really smart to be aware of this all, you definitly should say something!
The best thing to do is to ask your parents if you can talk to them, tell them how you are feeling.
I hope everything works out hun<3
message me if you have anything else!
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