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how to answer questions from kids
Hi all I am 28 years old and I have a daughter who is going to be 9 this year and she has been asking me how babies get into the tummy and what pads are for and I am having truble getting the right way to say it...As I dont remember my mom talking to me about it...But I wont to be the one to tell her so she will be able to talk to me about anything....I was not comfertable talking to my mom and I wont my daughter to be able to talk to me.......if anyone could help me please do.thanks
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Weeell, I was about your daughter's age when my mom told me. She basically just told me everything straight up, and she got me a book. (She read the book with me though) and I definitely think its better for her to hear it from you, just make sure you tell her she shouldn't tell other people about it. :D the second i learned everything i grabbed my book and took it for show-and-tell. not a great idea!
but yaa just be direct and honest, dont make things up, and theres the book store too. or you could always wait until she gets her first period which shouldnt be to far away.
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if i were you, i would wait a little longer until you tell her. she's to young and needs time to grow. plus, you don't want her running around school telling evry1 wut she has learned. if you want to tell her now though, i would sit her down and explain to her the short versoin. and as she gets older, you can gradually expand wut you have told her. hope this helps. :)
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I know this is a very awkward question and the one that pretty much every parent dreads from the second they give birth!
The trick is to just make it as simple as possible and work out what you will say beforehand so she sees that you are comfortable with it. The problem is that we have all been raised to believe sex is a taboo subject and it's difficult to talk to people about it freely.
First tell her about the different male and female genetalia and give her the proper names, so she feels comfortable with them straight away. Try to avoid the 'When a Mummy and Daddy love each other very much...' speech but perhaps change it to man and woman who care about each other a lot. Then just explain, as plainly as possible, exactly what happens.
I know it's embarrassing but she needs to learn all of this from an early age. Studies have shown that there are great benefits to teaching children about sex at an early age. For example, they are aware of sex and feel less concerned about raising the subject with you, which in turn means they're more inclined to come to you with their sex and relationship related problems, instead of trying to work it out alone and getting it wrong.
Don't worry. As long as you tell her the facts and tell her if she ever needs to know anything else that she can come to you, it will all be fine.
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It's great you want to be open with your daughter but it is hard to know where to start. You could begin by just answering her basic questions, children just want the answers to their immediate questions, so there would be no need to get too involved at this stage.
If she wants to know more, there is a great range of books available that you can read together, 'where do I come from' etc. You can ask at most book stores or on line stockists.
If you are open with her now, she will know she can come to you with any problem and that is a huge advantage these days.
Good luck.
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Well your daughter is getting of the age when shes going to get her period. You must explain to her what it is and how to take care of it early so she's not learning when she gets it. She will still be learning but atleast she'll get the basic consept of it. About the whole baby in the tummy thing, my mom said this when I asked "I asked god for a baby and he gave me one, but you have to be a women to ask for one." And explain to her that she's not even close to being allowed to have a baby yet. Because "GOD" won't let her if she asks.
Goodluck.
Netsirk07
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Hi
It's funny...my daughter is nine years old too, and I just finished having that exact talk with her.
She is old enough to hear the truth. At this age, if you sugar coat it, it's not going to do any good.
Even though my daughter looked at me like I was from another planet, I told her how a girl becomes pregnant. I figure, I want her to know, so she can take the appropriate steps to protect herself in the future.
As for the pads...I also explained to my daughter about periods, and although she was a little horrified to find out that women "bleed", she understood. Now she will be ready for her first period.
I'm like you....I want my daughter to be able to talk to me about ANYTHING, and being open and honest with her about life's little mysteries is the first step to open communication.
Good luck,
Brenda
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If she is nine years old then I am will to bet that she has heard quite a bit of "playground talk" and is coming to you for the real facts. You need to tell her, and don't baby the facts for her. It's hard to believe, but a lot of girls are getting their periods around 9 or 10 these days, she needs to know exactly what to expect for herself. If you are uncomfortable then have the conversation while you are doing something else (like driving or shopping) to take the pressure off. Really, this is very important and you don't want her to go off with wrong ideas, even sex shouldn't be a taboo topic at this age. If you don't tell her everything she needs to know then she'll get warped information from her friends, and I think that is what leads to very young children becoming sexually active- not understanding the implications AND not being able to openly talk the their parents about sex and ask questions.
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I think you should just tell her. 9 years old is old enough to start getting the basic facts, and quite frankly, I'm surprised some kid at school hasn't told her by now. Sorry if this doesn't quite mix with your values...but I think I found out around 6, which is a little too young, but still leads me to think 9 isn't a bad age to find out. The period stuff really shouldn't be an issue. She's about to start puberty in a year or two and she has a right to know what's going to happen to her! If it's still really awkward they make a ton of books that explain periods for girls her age in a very not scary, easy to understand way.
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Tell em the truth!
Or do what they did me.
give me a dictionary and told me to look up all the words I was using.
then they gave me Dr. Spocks to read.
Cold as Hell
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It really is hard to know what to say, I know where your coming from. The easiest thing for me was to read a book with my kids. If you read outloud, it's more interactive and gives an opportunity for questions, which then you can reference the answers in the book.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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(I want to apologize for disappearing on you in the chatroom, my computer flipped out on me.)
My littlest sister, when she about 6 years old asked my mom "How do babies get in the lady's tummy?" My mom turned bright red and stammered for a moment before my 10 year old sister informed her "They grow there."
"Thanks!" said the six year old and ran off happily.
I tell this story just to illustrate my point. I think the best way is the simplest way. The birds and bees talk, given all at once, is pretty overwhelming. If you want your child to be comfortable, give her the information she asks for in a simple comfortable way. She might not be ready for the explanation of the act; "They grow there." might be a sufficient answer for her right now (although she is a good bit older then my sister was). If she wants to know more, encourage her ask you follow up questions so that she is an active participant in the discussion, not just the recipient of a whole bunch of confusing information.
I particularly liked the advice offered on this site, [Link](Mouse over link to see full location), it covers a lot of other things, but also suggests a book my mother left sitting around the house most of my life called PERIOD, which, by my memory, you might find to be age-appropriate. If you want more sites like that, a google search "talking to kids about sex" turns up a good bit. Good luck.
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