Dear Readers:
I think my life experience is what qualifies me to write this column. I made every mistake imaginable. But have learned from them. Most important I still remember what it was like to be 12, 13, 14, 15, and so on. Currently I am a single mom, I have two wonderful boys. One in college. We are all happy emotionally. We love life, and know that you can too. I try to be the kind of parent that understands. I know that I can help you to understand where you parents are coming from, and help you get over the difficulties of being young. You can even have your parents write to me and I will help them to get over their fears and at least respect you and your feelings. I have been married and divorced twice, so I have experience in that field also. But now I own my own home, and my own business and am successful. Lots of luck to you! Hope to hear from you.
Website: Ask Michele
E-mail: cobweb2@comcast.net
Gender: Female
Location: Connecticut
Occupation: accountant, internet marketing, creative writing
Age: 56
Member Since: March 22, 2005
Answers: 1331
Last Update: June 20, 2010
Visitors: 84210
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i need bigg help. i got in huge trouble awhile back & my mom moved out to my grandmas house in the country. and my mom gives me chances to prove her i can move back with her. but every time i get a chance i fuck it up. like last time i came home drunk. && she says i`m to wild. i have a boyfriend up there and i love him to death. i wanna move up there but i need to change before august. i dont see what i`m doing wrong. i`m the average teenager. yeah, i party, i drink, and i hang out with guys. but who doesn`t. i used to not be like this until i got in high school. how can i change ? someone please help (link)
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I'll tell you who doesn't hang out and drink and party....girls who want to gain back and keep their parent's trust. Your mom sees that you are headed for trouble and she doesn't want any part of it. That is not how you gain someone's trust back. You also said that you want to move back up there because there is a boy there that you just love to death. It's obvious to me that it is not your mom that you care about and want to see. And most likely it is obvious to her too. So many kids think that we adults or we parents are stupid. SO you want it both ways. You want your mom to just indulge you and give in to you, just because that is what you want....and you shouldn't have to do anything special to get your way. YOu don't have to behave, you don't have to show respect and you don't even have to be trust worthy. Well real life doesn't work that way and your mom is doing the right thing by trying to teach you that at a young age. It is so much easier to learn our lessons when we are younger. No one BUT your mom is going to give you a break in the real world. The adult world we're you'll be fore you know it. And I have been here in this adult world for a long time, and I have yet to find someone who will pay me to drink and party and hang out. I have yet to find an employer who employs people who think drinking and partying and hanging out are more important than showing up on time and doing a good job. Maybe your mom wants you to make something of yourself. Maybe she wants you to have a better life than she did. Maybe she wants you to take advantage of that free education that the government is trying to give you, and even go to college and become a professional, and gee, make a lot of money and support yourself. Or you can just stay where you are.
Michele
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I've been watching my weight. When I get really hungry, I eat grahm crackers or sometimes I eat them with 1% milk. Is that a good snack? I know it isn't compared to fruits & veggies, but you can't have that all the time. Thanks! (link)
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Yes graham crackers with 1% milk is a good snack it is very low in fat, and the graham crackers are made of a whole grain, and they have fiber. Just don't eat too many, Another low fat snack is pretzels, and micro popcorn, the 90% fat free kind.
Michele
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is it true like if your in a bath or the lake your period will stop? (link)
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Yes I have found that to be true. I wouldn't count on it though, I don't know if it would work so well on the first day or the heaviest day.
Michele
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Hi, my name is david and age 25, i was masterbuting from last 3 years,due to this my penis has increased and shrinked, my testis has dropped about 2 inch from my penis, when i see my testis i feel like very very depressed as going to do suicide, please help to me with this matter, i am very worried about the appearance of my testis and penis (link)
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This could just be your normal body. I have never, never, ever heard of a man's or boy's penis changing shape or whatever, because the masterbated. My boyfriend has a large scrotom and his testis hang low too, and he as never had that thought, and yeah he masterbated a LOT. Every man is shaped a little differently. Nothing can stretch your skin, or make you grow more skin in that area.
I would tell you not to worry, but I don't think you'll listen. But I can tell you that most partners DO NOT compare the looks of penises.
I think you will be OK>
Michele
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ok so when you go on the pill, how long does it take until you are actually protected? Like how long do you have to use it before you have sex?
k thanks. (link)
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Well, the other advisor is right, it may take longer if you are not on the right dose for your
chemistry. Usually, you have to be on the pill for one month. Once you start the pill, there just could be an egg in your ovary waiting to be fertilized. After you have your next period no more eggs should be formed or dropped down to your uterus for fertilization. But if the does you are on is not strong enough for you, that could still happen. One way to tell is if you spot blood during the month, while you are on the pill. That means the dose is not strong enough. You'll need to tell the doctor is that happens so he can increase your dose.
It is not a bad idea to use condoms anyway. The pill does not protect against STD's, unless you and your partner have been together for a long time.
Good luck to you, and good for you for going on the pill, that shows how responsible you are.
Michele
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i hope this doesnt offend anyone. my family is catholic, but i live in a place where almost everyone is baptist. all my friends go to this one really huge baptist church. and i guess at this church they believe that catholics arent really christians and wont go to heaven. i know people have different beliefs and im fine with that. but sometimes people will say stuff that really hurts me. like once i was showing my friend and her mom my baby pictures and there was a picture of me in my baptism gown. and her mom started telling me how my church is wrong to baptize babies, and how shes so glad her daughter was baptised the "right" way. and then last night i was at a sleepover and there was this girl there that i didnt know. she asked me what church i go to and when i told her, she said "oh. well, catholics arent the strongest christians." there was this big silence and no one said anything for a long time, and i didnt know what to say. i dont blame people for believing what their church and family teaches them, but i dont understand why they have to say mean things that would hurt someone. and i dont know how i should react when people say that kind of thing to me. has anyone been through something like this? and how did you handle it?
(link)
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That really sucks. ANd you know, it is not the "religion" it is the person. Because I know catholics that act this way. So it is just the person. I really believe that extremely religious people are all hypocrites, no matter what religion they belong too. There are a few things you could say, some will alienate people, others may not.
You could say. That is not very Christian like. I though Jesus Christ loved everyone.
OR: You know I might be interested in learing more about your religion, but your comments make it seem more like a cult than a mutual gathering of people of faith.
Your religion preaches intolerance, God preaches tolerance. Jesus gave his life for everyone, not just Baptists.
You could also remind them that Jesus Christ was a Jew. That always gets them. Jews who believed in Jesus created Christianity. AFter Jesus died on the cross. It was a small movement at first, but it began to grow because it promised a better life than the one that people were living on earth at the time. Come to think of it, that would go for a lot of people living on earth right now. Did you know that Christianity is the fastest growing religion in AFrica? Also, Christianity was born in the MIddle East, and there are many Jews who believe in Jesus Christ.
The orthodox jews are still waiting for the Messiah to come. They don't beleive that it was Jesus. And one last thing, Jews, Christians, and Muslims all belive in the same God. The muslims to believe that Jesus existed, but only that he was a profet, and not the son of God.
TO me religion is a facinating subject. One good way that you could shut those people up is to show them that you know more about their religion than they do. Can't be hard. Find out someting about the Baptist religion on line. I'll bet one of their commandments is to love their neighbor.
Anyway, try to live by the golden rule, that sort of covers everything. And never be ashamed of what you believe in. Just believe in something.
Good luck to you.
Michele
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What are some inexpensive salon-quality hair products that I can pick up at a CVS in order to make my hair less frizzy and more straight? For example, something to put in either after showering, or before or after using a flat iron. (link)
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Something really cheap that does work is to add oil to your hair, like olive oil, or corn oil. Poor in into your hair. A lot of it. DOn't make a mess! Wrap it in a warm towel. You can use the micro wave to warm the towel. Just 1 minute should do it. And leave the towel and the oil on your head for 1/2 hour. Then wash as usual. Don't use harsh shampoos, use gentle ones, and don't use hot air to dry., Let it air dry or use cool air. Yes it takes longer, but eliminates frizz.
Hope this helps
Michele
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15/f/va
i have been having major household problems and i need to get out of my house. but even though i dont think she cares, i dont want to hurt my mom or offend her by leaving. and even if i did, i dont know where i could go. i dont have any friends and my boyfriend's family won't take me in.
where can i go? what can i do? can i legally get emancipated? (link)
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I have heard of teens being emancipated, but it is not easy. You have to be able to prove that your folks do not take care of you, or neglect you. Or that you are being abused. But that could also bring DCF and the State to your house, and if you have siblings then they might take all of you away and make put you in foster care. That does not mean that I don't think that should happen. If kids at home are being abused, hurt, then maybe the State should get involved. But lets just say that you want out because you are unhappy, you would have to prove that you can take care of yourself. Support yourself, but I assume you are not working. In CT, you can get a job at 15, but you can only work 15 - 25 hours per weeks, and that is not enough for you to pay your own rent and utilities and stuff. Is there an aunt or something you can go to for the summer.
How about a working camp. Is there a US Girls Scout Camp Near you. Some of them are overnight camps. And Girls Scouts is relatively cheap as far as camp goes. And if you qualify to be a counselor, may you can stay overnight for two weeks or more and get away. How about applying to an overnight camp near you. Some of them have scholarships that allow some kids to go for free. Your parents may have to help with the forms.
I feel very bad for you. I know it is hard. I ran away from home when I was 15, I came back but ran away again. I was lucky I guess. I knew some older kids in another city and went and stayed with them. I soon found work and made my own way. But it was hard. Luckily I did not get caught up in drugs and sex, but soooo many girls do. You'd be surprised what you will do when you are hungry,.
There is this place called the Covenant House. There take in runaway teens, no questions asked. There are located in all the major cities and MExico and Canada. Check out their website.
www.covenanthouse.org
Read the stories there of the kids who did run away. what their lives were like at home, and what their lives were like on the street until they found covenant house.
IF that changes your mind, maybe you need to find some work to do for the summer to get you out of the house. Is there a day care in the neighborhood that you could volunteeer at. A library? Just getting out and finding things to do that make you feel better about yourself will help you to forget what is going on at home. What is going on at home is no way your fault, but if you can find away to hold out until you are 18, and you have gradated from high school, you will have a much easier time being on your own. AS soon as you turn 16, get a job and save your money. I hope you make it. Good luck to you.
Michele
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So I've had a problem my whole life with going poop. I guess I never really realized it was a problem until recently. I only poop every week and a half or so. It doesn't bother my stomach at all, but I know it can't be that healthy. When I finally do go, it takes like 20 minutes and I go very little.
I drink at least 8 glasses of water a day. I eat lots of fiber and I take fiber pills. I've even tried taking laxatives and nothing helps. Is it healthy and if not, what's wrong and what should I do? (link)
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NO it is not healthy. Your stool is full of toxins, and the longer it stays in you the more of it your body absorbs. The least you could end up with is bad skin. I wonder if you have that problem now. Anyway there are a whole host of problems that you could get from this. I also wonder if you have a Type A personality? Meaning you are hyper and always on the go, and find it hard to relax. I know a person who was like this and had the same problem. Her doctor told her to get up 1/2 hour earlier in the AM. eat a bowl of high fiber cereal, relax and read the paper or something ,and the urge will come naturally. It worked for her. Also I find that caffene from a cup of coffe in the AM does the trick, and it works for millions and millions of Americans every day. I have also seen this work, reall fast. warm apple cider. Maybe you should try the combination of get up early, bowl of high fiber cereal, warm apple cider, relaxe read the paper or magazine, and see what happens. Or try caffene instead of warm cider.
HOpe this help
Michele
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SO AS a mentioned before.....
my parents are divorcing. my mom took all ehr anger out on me and YELLED at me. told me things i shouldn't nor want to know. and made it as if it was my foult. then i cried. she apoligized i did nto frogive. called me next day apoligiing... i didnt forgive. now i feel really bad i know it wasnt technicoly her foult shes under a lot of stress i know she loves me but i cant forgive her, i jus cant i dont no why! like my body wont let me. how do i forgive her? what to i say without soundign to cheesy/corney. im not like htat. (link)
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I understand how you feel and I would find it hard to forgive her also. We expect our parents to behave better than friends and aquaintences. And we don't expect them to take things out on us that are not our fault. You still feel the pain of her words and they are not easy to forget.
You don't have to forgive her now. Take your time. Eventually you may forgive, but not forget. If she never does it again, maybe in time, you will forget also.
If this is not her normal behavior, and she is just VERY upset over the divorce, it may be understandable. But this is advice for you, it is going to get harder for her before it gets better. This is obviously going to have a big affect on your life. The next time she tries to apologize, I would say to her, Mom, I am finding it real hard right to to accept your apology, but it might help if I new how you felt when you lashed out at me, so that I can better understand what you are going through and maybe I can help."
And believe me, your understanding will be a great relief her. It is too bad that your parents are divorcing and I hope you don't get caught in the middle. I suggest that you refuse to take sides, but be a good listener.
Good luck to you
Michele
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I want to become a model. I know many people who are models and they are on websites and everything. How do I become one? (link)
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That is very difficult, Many many girls have dreams like that. Not all of them are realized. I will give you a little advice though. There are many kinds of models. The ones that are famous and we see on TV are "runway models". To be a runway model you have to be at least 5' 8". Tall, long legs and thin. You have to have a face the make-up artists can work with. You won't look at all like yourself after a make-up artist gets through with you. But you'll be beautiful. You have to have good hair. They don't like girls with tans, and they don't like girls who overpluck their eyebrows. Your teeth need to be straight and white. (Don't drink colas or teas or coffee.)
There are also print models. They are the girls you see in cataloges that advertise clothes, or the weekly circulars that come with the newspaper each week, from say SEARS or JC Penny. Those girls can be shorter, and even look more like everyday people. At first many models just work for the clothes that they get to model. No PAY. If you stick with it though, eventually you will make money. You may need to pay to have your "portfolio" done, and that can cost you up to $1,500.00 But be sure and find a photographer who will GIVE YOU ALL THE PROOFS
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so im 17/m and in highschool. not to brag or anything, but usually, i get all the girls i want, even if they dont like me to begin with. as you all know, its the end of the schoolyear, and i've had feelings for this hot, sweet, innocent math teacher for quite a while now. she's the only woman who can make me nervous. when i first realized i liked her, i made an oath to get closer to her, no matter how much of a distance she keeps btw her students and herself, and luckily, i have. so we play around and everything, but today i made the mistake of touching her. not inappropriately at all, or violently, but i sort of caressed her face for a second, which i could tell she wasn't comfortable. even though it happened quickly, she kind of pulled her face away, but i did it anyways. i dont want it to be awkward tomorrow, and i dont want to REassure her i like her, so can you ladies give me some tips on what i should do.how would you feel, and what might she be thinking? should i ignore her, or should i apologize? thnx (link)
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Well if you were a young man the same age as her, I would say that you need to apologize. I know that young kids today are more free, but it is never ok to touch someone else, except maybe shake hands. You should apologize, but if you try to get her alone again, she may run as fast as she can in the other direction, yet if she is trapped, that is not good either. You may think that this is all innocent and stuff, but it could cost her her job, and career and her profession. She is, in no uncertain terms, supposed to get "friendly" with students. NO WAY. And there is so much in the news about this stuff lately and some of these teachers are going to jail. Some are loosing their jobs and have no hope of finding work as teachers again, because they have been arrested as sex offenders.
That may sound drastic to you, but parents can sometimes be crazy about this stuff.
I am sure that she is flattered by your attention, and I can certainly understand why you are attracted to her. But please, this could ruin her life. Please avoid her tomorrow and be satified in the fact that you probably flattered her, but I think right now she is scared. Scared someone else could witness your conversation and read the wrong thing into it. I hope, for her sake, that NO ONE saw you caress her face.
Maybe some day in the future when you are over 21, and you are still thinking of her, you may have a chance at a relationship, or a friendship and see where it goes. But please do not even attempt to apologize. Not yet. I'll bet she is a nervous wreck about you approaching her tomorrow and is afraid that someone will see you both, and think that she did something to invite your attention. This would bring her more trouble than she can handle.
Please consider what I have said. It may be innocent in your eyes, but you have to imagine what other peole would be thinking.
Michele
RESPONSE TO FEEDBACK - I AGREE WITH YOU, IT CAN BE LOVE. BUT DESPITE WHAT IT SAYS IN THE MOVIES, LOVE DOES NOT CONQUER ALL. MINORS DON'T SHOW UP IN THE NEWS OR ON TV JUST FOR THAT REASON, THEY ARE MINORS, AND THEIR IDENTITIES ARE PROTECTED. YOU'LL SHOW UP ON THE INTERNET THOUGH AND EVERYONE IN YOUR TOWN WILL KNOW. AND I DO BELIEVE YOU THAT YOU ARE IN LOVE, AND MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU, BUT CAN ANY LOVE THAT MAY DEVELOPE BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU SURVIVE ALL OF THE NEGATIVE ATTENTION THAT IT WILL BRING TO BOTH OF YOU. CAN IT SURVIVE IF SHE GETS ARRESTED AND SPENDS TIME IN JAIL. IT WILL NOT MATTER TO THE AUTHORITIES THAT YOU INVITED, INSTIGATED AND PERSUED HER. SHE WILL BE PUNISHED. IF SHE UNABLE TO FIND WORK IN HER FIELD, ARE YOU CAPABLE OF SUPPORTING HER. IF SHE CAN NEVER DO WHAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN HER DREAM....TO BE A TEACHER, WILL YOUR LOVE BE ENOUGH TO KEEP HER HAPPY. REAL LOVE MEANS NOT THINKING OF YOURSELF, BUT WHAT IS BEST FOR THE PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT. THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME FOR A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU.
I BEG YOU, IF YOU REALLY DO CARE ABOUT HER, LET IT BE. YOU ARE 17, YOU DON'T HAVE LONG TO WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE AN ADULT, BUT I THINK IT STILL WOULD BE BEST TO WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE 21, THEN NO ONE CAN INTEFERE.
MICHELE
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I when over to my friends house, (A). She asked if it was ok if she smoked in front of me. I said no, it's ok, i guess. When she sis, i just stared. I've heard of smoking, duh, but never have I seen it two feet in front of me. So, stupidly I asked to try. (A) said no. I kept asking out of curiousity, knowing that it'll still hurt me. Finally, (A) said, ok. I tried it and it was terrible! I hated it. I started coughing and choking. Well, after a cuple mintues Me and (A) sat down and watched a movie with her soon to be step brother. He pulled out a cigarette after a while and smoked. He offered it to (A) and she took it willingly. Then he took it back and smoked again. (A) told him to let me try again. I said no. (A) said hey, you know you want to. I said no. (A) kept saying you know you want to, so I tried again, but i didn't inhale it. (A)'s brother caught me not inhaling and said, "Hey, you didn't inhale!" I felt emmbarressed, but gave it back to him. The next day when I woke up. (A)'s brother came back in the room smoking again. he offered, this time I said no and gave him a look that said no, and that's it. He never asked again. What should I do? My friends are acting funny around me now because I told them. PLEASE HELP! (link)
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Please, you tried it, you didnt' like it, so don't go there again, no matter what they say. You will be better off and they will get over it. They are not going to judge you long term, just because you don't smoke, or didn't smoke at their insistance. If they do, they are not good friends. Also please remember this, you can get just as sick from inhaling second hand smoke as you can from smoking yourself. There is medical proof. So if EVERYONE you hand around with smokes, and you don't, you are still not taking the necessary steps to avoid lung cancer.
Also this, I can't beleive how expensive cigaretts are. When I was 16 they were .55 cents a pack! I know llloooonnnggg time ago. But today they are like $5.00 a pack. Most people who take up smoking at a young age, are smoking three packs a day by the time they turn 20. So, assuming the price doesn't go up again between now and the time your friends turn 20, they will be spending $15.00 a day, $105.00 per week, $455.00 (some people pay that much for rent evey month) $5,460.00 per year, and for 60 years will have wasted $327,600.00.00. If you put that money away in the bank each day,you would have enough to buy a mansion.
So, I guess what I am trying to say is....don't start smoking.
Michele
Hope this helps.
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my best friend is mentally challended, and has accidentally killed a young women. if i turn him in he will spend the rest of his life in a mental hospital where he will probably live a sad and fearful life. but if i run away with him he might do the same to someone esle and this would make me an accessory to a crime and both of us will be fugitives of the law-- wanted for murder. but if i kill him i will spare my friend the pain of living a cruel existence in a mental hospital. he is my only friend and i will not see him get hurt what should i do. (link)
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No Mercy killing is not justified and is against the law in this country. Human life is sacred, even that of your friend. Even though he accidentally killed someone. If he is mentally challenged as you say, he will not be convicted of murder, he can plead guilty buy mentally impaired. YOu need good lawyer, but I know that costs money. So would running away and hiding him, and supporting him for the rest of your lives. And what if something happens to you. Who will take care of him then. He will be so dependent on you.
I don't know what state you live in or how much money you have. Maybe you can go to legal aid. The less money you or he has the better. Is he an adult in the eyes of the law? Then legal aid may represent him based on his income. I know you say that you will not see him hurt, and I want to say, (but not from experience) that the justice system won't hurt him, but he will be scared, and you can be there for him. This is a very difficult case. I just checked on-line and each state has their own Legal Aid offices. They have websites and hotlines. YOu can call and ask questions anonymously. You need more information to make a better decision. I don't know how you can be so sure that the police won't solve this "unresolved death". IT is better that you are prepared to help. Than it would be if the police just came and arrested him, and then they don't have to allow you to help, or allow you to see him and they may not believe your side of the story, because you held back the information. And right now, because you have information on this crime and have not come forward, you are with holding information, which is a crime. I don't blame you for not trusting the police, and I don't blame you for being scared. That is why you need a lawyer first. A good one.
Good luck to you.
Michele
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So, I like this guy. And I've liked him for a while, but he isnt interested in a relationship right now. He's looking for hook-ups. But, he did tell me that he would be interested in a short, free, relationship. So, I asked him if he wanted to have one of those relationships. This turned into him wanting to be friends with benefits. I stupidly agreed, and now we've been going on dates. He really wants to make out with me. Here's the problem, folks- I DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE OUT WITH SOMEONE. I've never done it before. I've had boyfriends, but they havent pressured me to do that. Now, dont get me wrong, I like the guy, and I want to make out with him. Can someone just tell me how? PS: i'm 15/f (link)
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Ok, here's my advice and you won't like it. Ditch the guy who just wants "friends with benefits". Making out comes natural, especially when you and the boy really really like each other. YOu won't need instructions.
Wait until you meet someone who really wants to be with you and make you happy.
When this guy has used up your benefits, he is going to find a new friend with benefits. And it won't feel nice. I give him credit for being honest, but that is all the more reason to avoid him. It is going to hurt when he dumps you before you are ready, and there's not much you can do about it because you agreed. If it's not working, it's because there us "nothing there". YOu want more from a relationship. Don't settle.
I hope you follow this advice. And it doesn't matter to me what you rate this advice, I know it is good.
Michele
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I'am a 30 yr old male and she is 27 yrs old. I have been dating a girl who is bipolar and everything seems to be going great. I'am nervious about her condition. But I really want to know if this relationship will work and how I should handle the relationship. Thanks. (link)
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This is a big responsibility. Being Bi-polar can be very debilitating to her life. But she told you about it, so she is not hiding it. And you need to know if she is on medication. And how she feels about being on medication. Is there any way you can find out more information about her from her family and friends? How did she handle relationships in the past? Why happened to the male in those relationships? This is not to be nosy, (although that is what they will think, so you must be very discreet) Use the information to make an informed decision. How does she act when she gets upset about something. It doesn't have to be with you, it can be about something trivial.
You also don't say how long you have been dating. So if it is early in the relationship, well heck, everyone is on their best behavior in the beginning. A person does not have to be Bi-polar to be all wrong for you. It is going to take some time to be sure. This much I know is true, the best relationships or marriages, are the ones where the couple spend a long time getting to know each other. Became friends. Love comes and goes, It is not strong every day. But respect and friendship can keep you together when things get rough.
And here is the final question should ask yourself does she or you want to have children some day, and can it be passed on. CAn a pregnancy make it worse. I think BI-polar conditions come in all different sizes. Some are managable, some are not. YOu can find lots and lots of information on the internet. Try googling this questoin: Living with Bi-Polar disorder.
Good luck to you.
Michele
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My graduation is coming up and i bought those fake manicure nails to glue over my real nails. They are kind of long and the problem is im going to an amusement park the next day. Should i keep the nails on? On the roller coasters i would be gripping the handle so would it make a difference? Also, it doesnt say it is waterproof, so when i go in the water park what should i do? Keep it on or take them off?
Thanks (link)
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Well what will happen if you do lose one? Because you will. Can you fix it on the spot. Are you going to bring glue and extra nails? And are your friends going to wait for you while you try to fix it. I think you should not ware them to the amusement part the next day. You'll be having so much fun, you'll forget you have them on, and the next thing you know.....
I tried those when I was young, and I had lots of friends that did too. We would lose them from doing something far less physical than going to an amusement park. Leave them home and have a good time.
Michele
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I wish Tania would quit - she replaced Bruce (our former manager whom all my coworkers loved). Tania is our Manager for six months now and lives two an half hours away - she travels five hours a day. She is very moody. In addition she micromanages (controlls every detail and has no respect for anyone). I dress really well, professional and in style. She called me in to her office yesterday and asked me why was I wearing pants that were showing my ankle. And why was I wearing navy pants with a purpley plum blazer with a blue (royal blue and sky blue) blouse. Then later on she called me into her office to tell me that I shouldnt socialize with my coworkers, they are busier than I am. When she is there my coworkers and I all we do is work. She is constantly calling in people to our office to chew them out for nothing earth shattering. Also we cannot go next door to get coffee or something to eat unless we are on our lunch break. She acts more like a warden or pincipal, then a manager. Everyone in the branch now hates working in this branch. Also the two big bosses (the Division Head and the Regional who Tania reports to) were supposed to come and meet with Tania and our AM's, but the big bosses havent come to our branch due to other things they have to attend to. The Big bosses told Tania and the AM's it is a sales meeting, it doesnt make sense. What do you think? Also yesterday one of my other coworkers told me that Tania made her change her jacket - my coworker had on a beautiful cordoroy jacket and Tania told her that is a no-no. What I am questioning about the sales meeting is it really a sales meeting or is the Division Head and the Regional sick of Tyroon and how we are being managed. I am sure there are many complaints. Someone I am sure is complaining about her. One of my coworkers (Tom) came to work at our branch because he used to work for the Regional and I think Tom will be our Branch Manager soon. I am sure Tom tells our Regional what happens in our branch and how Tania is. (link)
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I feel for you. Tania has some serious emotional problems. She is a miserable person, probably lives a miserable life, and has a need to take it out on everyone else. SHe is not the first person in a place of power to act like this. (And here's a clue, you sound young, and you can bet that she won't be the last boss that you have who is like this during your career.) I know that ignoring these kinds of bosses is impossible.
I can't believe she had a problem with you showing your ankles, and what is wrong with a corderoy jacket? She will be a tough nut to crack. I can only hope along with all of you that she is going to be replaced soon. But I have seen people like her keep their positions even after dozens of good people have left on account of their boss's sicko personality. You may not want to transfer to change jobs, but I hope you are looking anyway. Something good may come along, and it is easier to find a job when you have a job. I do have one suggestion, you could try this, it worked for me with a co-worker who was just like this. And "our" relationship became better, and it was easier for me to work with her, but it didn't get better for anyone else, and other people started coming to me to complain, figuring that since I got along with her, that I could do something about it. (I couldn't, after 8 years I did leave).
Pay her a compliement. Appeal to her ego. Tell her something you admire about her. (Even if you don't mean it, and I know you won't mean it.) People like her think they work SO HARD and NO ONE understands them or their dedication.
Compliment, her work, or her hair, or a piece of jewerly she is wearing. Or try saying something like, "you work so hard. I hope the bosses appreciate you." Or a good thing is to show that you recognize her dedication by how far she travels every day. Marvel at it. Yeah it sounds phony, but if she is as sick as I think she is (desperate for acknowledgement and acceptance) she'll suck it all up.
THen maybe your work life will become more tolerable until she leaves or you find a better job.
good luck to you
Michele
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hello people have been tellin me rumors that they have seen my boyfriend behind a 7/11 makin out wiyh a girl but he said thats so stupied why wud i do that if the 7/11 is right next to your house than i heard that he fingered and made out widd his ex gf a couple of saturdays ago but he told me he wud never cause he hated her b/c when they went out she cheated on him many times and the day they broke up she told him so he hate her for that than this friend of mine met my bf the other day and said he was huggin and beling all over his friend andrea that i am even chill with and i dont know cause chris likes me and i dont know if he was tryin to break me and mike up but he yelled at chris and said why are you lien to my girl and sayin stuff thatt aint tru... but like every day he tells me how much he loves me and how he wud never cheat on me cuase he said he said he knows wat it feels like to be cheated on cause it has happend to him and i told him to never cheat on me and jus break up widd me if you like another girl i am really!! confused and i need help or adivice?!! (link)
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WEll time will tell. Sounds like you are going to have to trust him until you catch him. AFter all, you would want him to trust you. Trust is very important. But if you DO catch him. Don't ever trust him and again and break up with him, because now his is a cheater and a liar.
Use your head, listen to everything he says. Read between the lines. People who lie and cheat always get caught. IF he is cheating, he won't be able to keep it a secret for long.
Michele
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I heard somewhere that Marilyn Manson was planning on using some subliminal techniques in his upcoming movie.Could someone give me a website or something that explains what effect this has on people (or explain yourself,if you can),and point me to some movies that have already done it? (link)
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I can explain what they are. I can't direct you to a website, but I think you'll be able to find one. Subliminal techniques have been used for years. They were common on television, but I think they were banned. When you look at movie or TV show there are lots of "frames" thousands of them, and they go by so fast, that you don't see them as frames, you see them as a moving picture. Imbedded in say a show about monsters or cars or whatever, will be one frame that shows a sparkling cold glass of coke. You don't see it, but your brain sees it. The image did go from your eyes to your brain. And what happens to you, is suddenly, you are thirsty for a soda.
I can't image what images Marily Manson may put in his movie. You may know better than I. I don't think they will allow him to put suggestions that people kill someone, or take drugs. It might be something as simple as Go BUY MY CD.
Which means that he got the best of you. It has been proven. That if he did this, a percentage of all those people who see the movie and the image, will actually go and buy his CD.
So that's it in a nutshell.
Why not google Subliminal messages in movies
Michele
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