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To the ladies...
so im 17/m and in highschool. not to brag or anything, but usually, i get all the girls i want, even if they dont like me to begin with. as you all know, its the end of the schoolyear, and i've had feelings for this hot, sweet, innocent math teacher for quite a while now. she's the only woman who can make me nervous. when i first realized i liked her, i made an oath to get closer to her, no matter how much of a distance she keeps btw her students and herself, and luckily, i have. so we play around and everything, but today i made the mistake of touching her. not inappropriately at all, or violently, but i sort of caressed her face for a second, which i could tell she wasn't comfortable. even though it happened quickly, she kind of pulled her face away, but i did it anyways. i dont want it to be awkward tomorrow, and i dont want to REassure her i like her, so can you ladies give me some tips on what i should do.how would you feel, and what might she be thinking? should i ignore her, or should i apologize? thnx
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I think you should appologize to her. Obviously you made her feel uncomfortable. She probably felt so uncomfortable because she is your teacher and it is against the law for her to be with a student due to age difference and because it could interefere with her job. You sort of did over-step your boundaries by making even a slight move on her and you really do owe her an appology. Make sure you acknowledge you know there is a problem with what you did and let her know your sorry for doing so. Reassure her that it will not happen again and that no one else is going to find out it happened.
I know you say you like this woman, but shes your teacher and it would get her into trouble being with you. I don't think you want to ruin her career to satisfy your crush. Sorry!
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I'm surprised someone as cocky as you seem to be is actually asking for advice. Congratulations.
Anyway, you made her uncomfortable. Talking about what happened will probably just make it worse. I strongly suggest you abandon the idea of any future with her, and pretend it never happened.
Teacher/student relationships NEED to have a wall in the middle. She's too old for you, dude. You're 17, she's probably at least 22 if she's student teaching, and if she's your actual teacher, she's probably even older. Not to say "she's an old woman" or that big age differences don't work, but there IS a limit to that, you know?
It shouldn't be awkward tomorrow unless one of you makes it that way. Don't mention it. Don't suggest anything, don't flirt with her, if you have been.
I'm guessing she has enough common sense to know to ignore your advance.
I'd feel awkward, I think, if I was rejected by my crush and I had to see them every day, but personally I would push it out of my mind and pretend the rejection never happened.
Good luck
-Siren =)
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Well if you were a young man the same age as her, I would say that you need to apologize. I know that young kids today are more free, but it is never ok to touch someone else, except maybe shake hands. You should apologize, but if you try to get her alone again, she may run as fast as she can in the other direction, yet if she is trapped, that is not good either. You may think that this is all innocent and stuff, but it could cost her her job, and career and her profession. She is, in no uncertain terms, supposed to get "friendly" with students. NO WAY. And there is so much in the news about this stuff lately and some of these teachers are going to jail. Some are loosing their jobs and have no hope of finding work as teachers again, because they have been arrested as sex offenders.
That may sound drastic to you, but parents can sometimes be crazy about this stuff.
I am sure that she is flattered by your attention, and I can certainly understand why you are attracted to her. But please, this could ruin her life. Please avoid her tomorrow and be satified in the fact that you probably flattered her, but I think right now she is scared. Scared someone else could witness your conversation and read the wrong thing into it. I hope, for her sake, that NO ONE saw you caress her face.
Maybe some day in the future when you are over 21, and you are still thinking of her, you may have a chance at a relationship, or a friendship and see where it goes. But please do not even attempt to apologize. Not yet. I'll bet she is a nervous wreck about you approaching her tomorrow and is afraid that someone will see you both, and think that she did something to invite your attention. This would bring her more trouble than she can handle.
Please consider what I have said. It may be innocent in your eyes, but you have to imagine what other peole would be thinking.
Michele
RESPONSE TO FEEDBACK - I AGREE WITH YOU, IT CAN BE LOVE. BUT DESPITE WHAT IT SAYS IN THE MOVIES, LOVE DOES NOT CONQUER ALL. MINORS DON'T SHOW UP IN THE NEWS OR ON TV JUST FOR THAT REASON, THEY ARE MINORS, AND THEIR IDENTITIES ARE PROTECTED. YOU'LL SHOW UP ON THE INTERNET THOUGH AND EVERYONE IN YOUR TOWN WILL KNOW. AND I DO BELIEVE YOU THAT YOU ARE IN LOVE, AND MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU, BUT CAN ANY LOVE THAT MAY DEVELOPE BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU SURVIVE ALL OF THE NEGATIVE ATTENTION THAT IT WILL BRING TO BOTH OF YOU. CAN IT SURVIVE IF SHE GETS ARRESTED AND SPENDS TIME IN JAIL. IT WILL NOT MATTER TO THE AUTHORITIES THAT YOU INVITED, INSTIGATED AND PERSUED HER. SHE WILL BE PUNISHED. IF SHE UNABLE TO FIND WORK IN HER FIELD, ARE YOU CAPABLE OF SUPPORTING HER. IF SHE CAN NEVER DO WHAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN HER DREAM....TO BE A TEACHER, WILL YOUR LOVE BE ENOUGH TO KEEP HER HAPPY. REAL LOVE MEANS NOT THINKING OF YOURSELF, BUT WHAT IS BEST FOR THE PERSON YOU CARE ABOUT. THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME FOR A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU.
I BEG YOU, IF YOU REALLY DO CARE ABOUT HER, LET IT BE. YOU ARE 17, YOU DON'T HAVE LONG TO WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE AN ADULT, BUT I THINK IT STILL WOULD BE BEST TO WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE 21, THEN NO ONE CAN INTEFERE.
MICHELE
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