Sweet_LiL_Angel's advice column

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Q: My mom always complains about me never being home. She says that she thinks that i dont love her and only want to talk to her when i want something. (im sure everyone is gonna say that their mom is like that too), but are there any ways that i can 'hang out' or spend time with my mom with still being able to be as social and hang out with my friends as much as i do? please give me some ideas to have fun with my mom (i know that sounds lame) but i know it would help me to be able to do more stuff.

Do like movie night. or cook a dinner together. shopping?

Q: i had sex for the first time today...and well my b/f new i was a virgin and everything...it hurt so bad...and i started bleeding really bad...im guessing it was my cherry...but from everyone i have talked to...there isnt that much blood...there was blood all over the condom all over my legs...and everywhere...it was soo nasty...was it just my cherry...or was it sumthin else??

it was your cherry everyone is different and with it being your first time you probably has some tearing as well.

Q: Hi. I'm 16/m and I went to this party last saturday. I dont know what to do now really because it's embarrassing. I was hanging out with this one girl and we were drinking. I know I drank too much and I shouldn't have kept at it but everyone else was doing it and I guess I wasn't thinking. Anyway, we were kissing and fooling around a little but I didn't want things to get serious by leading to sex. The other guys ended up leaving us in this room after awhile and we were alone but by then I was pretty drunk. She took off her top and it was nice to see so we did keep fooling around. Then I think she took advantage of me because I was so drunk. I mean she had been drinking too but I told her at one point that I didn't want to go further. My thing reacted to some stuff she was doing (like she was stripping and it seemed sexy?) but I could not control it to get it to go down and stop. She ended up having sex with me but I remember telling her I didn't want to do it. I remember that but then the rest is kind of hazy and I ended up waking up in a bed in another room all alone and without my clothes on. It was... kind of obvious I had had sex.

Now everybody knows we had sex because she told a lot of people we did it. I'm embarrassed becuse she was my first and nobody knew I was a virgin and I really think she just... raped me. I told her I didn't want to before we were doing it and when she was doing stuff to me. I was so drunk I couldn't stop her. I know I'm such a wuss and I feel like such a loser. I am ashamed. I feel so bad and USED by this girl. I can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I'm trash.

What do I do? I know you see on tv where they say to go to the cops but I'm a guy and I don't want them to think I'm lying. I'm not lying. I really think it was rape. I didn't want to have sex. I told her I didn't want to do it. I was just drinking and having fun w/my friends. I didn't think it would lead to something like that and I remember making myself clear about not wanting to do it. What do I do now? If I tell everybody is going to make fun of me for whining about having sex. I didn't want it though!

I think you should go to the police and explain to them what happen tell them you had been drinking tell them what she was doing tell them you asked her to stop but she didnt and you think youve been raped.

Q: I'm having my first baby (a little boy) in a month and I still haven't picked out a good name for him. I'd like something popular that can go with 2010. I'm not into the old fashioned names very much and I thought maybe somebody here could give me a few trendy suggestions that actually sound nice. Please?

I had a baby girl but we were going to name a boy Lane.

Q: My boyfriend wants to see my vag and I told him OK and planned to take a few pics of it. I kinda told my bff who was like I shouldn't do that cos somebody can hack his phone && get my nude shots later. How safe do u think it is to take pictures of my vagina && send them to his cell phone?

no i do not think it is safe and it could be embarssing to your self if he send the picture to other people and it can be hacked.

Q: I just started having my periods like 3 months ago and I was wondering if that means my cherry has popped? I read when your cherry pops that you bleed. Does that mean my cherry is popped since I bleed every month or what? My best friend wanted to know if my cherry was popped and I was confused because I never really thought about it but I guess it is since I get my period now and I'm a woman now. Thanks

No. Your cherry popped is when you have sex for the first time.

Q: I've been married to my beautiful wife for 3 years now. I told her I'd do anything in the world to make her happy and to please her. About a week ago she confessed to me that she wants to experiment with other men. She wants to actually have sex with another man to see what it's like since she has only been with one other man before our marriage. I can't really overcome this and it makes me feel like a bad husband. I told her I'd have to think about a lot of things first. She said that it's the only way she'll be completely happy in this marriage. What do I do? I feel like if I say yes then I am degrading myself and this marriage, but if I say no then I'm holding her back from what will truly make her happiest in this world.

Honestly if being with another man will be the only thing that will make her completely happy you do not deserve a woman like that and all. 3 years is a long time to throw away but you deserve better then that.

Q: My boyfriends ex girl friend will sometimes text my boyfriend and tell him that she wishes things would have worked out differently in their relationship & that she misses him. She'll also tell him that he isn't truly happy with me & that he's just using me as a rebound. He won't change his number due to work reasons, and he keeps telling her that she needs to stop texting. This is really upsetting me because I dont want him to listen to her & start thinking that he really isnt happy with me & he'll take her back. He says that he would never do that to me & I believe him. Its just the fact... Should I confront her myself or leave it to him to handle?

Believe your boyfriend. Ask him to just ignore her and give him a hug or kiss. Dont let him see it bothers you

Q: I'm 17 years old and am currently a senior in high school. So, there's this guy that I've been talking to a lot lately but have known him for a long time now. We go to church together and have developed a pretty good friendship, but I want us to be more than friends so badly. The only thing keeping us apart is the age difference. He's 22 years old. But, I can't seem to get him off my mind no matter what I do. I'm pretty sure that the wanting a relationship feeling is mutual but I'm not legally able to be with him. He's told me that we'll have to wait until I'm 18 to get into anything serious, but I'm impatient and feel strongly enough about him to look past the age difference. I would like some advice on what I should do...wait or get the guy I've been wanting for a year now??

I think you should wait. Yes age is just a number I am 19 and my husband will be 24 in a month. You are religious. I take it both of your families are religious. I would wait. Go to the movies as friends. Its going to be worth the wait and your relationship will mean more if the two of you can wait for each other. and defintly more romantic.

Q: I really don't know what to do anymore. This year started out a little bad at school, but I started pulling up my grades and doing better and I'm almost done making up the classes I failed last year and I'm doing this mostly because my mom wants me to. (No, I'm not doing this for myself, otherwise, I wouldn't be doing it at all.)
My mom only nods and says 'good job'. Nothing much else. If she's not off on her own, she's screaming at me, which doesn't help.
And (Yes, I posted something a while ago about a doctor's appointment) now my arms are going numb, from the wrist to the elbow. I know writing all day every day for the past 5 years has something to do with it, but I think the stress is adding to it. My school friends aren't helping at all either and in fact making it worse.
I really don't know what to do and I've been thinking some things that I really don't want to think about. I really need help, please!

Think of this. You have to do your school work for your self before you do it for someone else. It is impossible now a days to find a job. Its even hard with just a high school diploma. School sucks yes I know but you have to give it a shot. I was 15 when I had a baby. I wanted to give up on high school so bad. But I stuck with it I even graduated early. Its hard but you can do it. I know I dont know you but i believe in you and I believe you can do it.

Q: Hi, Ive broken up with my boyfriend recently (about 2 months ago) and im having a really hard time dealing with it. He has a drinking problem and is not very "trustworthy" when it comes to faithfulness. Of course he's begged for second (and third) chances, all which ive given to him, and now he wants another one. Im being firm by saying no, and now he is turning it around on me saying he's "tried" and thats it. All he ever wants to do is "SAY" he's sorry. He never wants to "DO" anything to show me. He said nothing he ever says is good enough for me. Please help :(

Hun it is not your fault and dont let him abuse you by telling you it is your fault. You have gave him chances and he didnt want to grow up enough to respect you. I dont know you but any girl whos man treats them like that deserves better than that. Hang in there. Stay firm. Hell get the picture and leave you alone and honestly if he doesnt id fill a harsment report with the police. because its not going to be easy for you to move on with him harassing you.

Q: ive been cheated on and lied to and promised it wouldnt happen and i dont know if it is happening, i dont know what to do. i just want things to work after 3years. i feel like if he wanted to be single and do his own thing he has the option and yet it seems like he stays and doesnt tell me everything and i don't how to trust and let go. i really want to, i want to try but its hard.

It is hard. My husband lied to be. talked to his ex on the phone. etc. I sat him down and I told him if the lies did not stop if he didn't start telling me the truth then I was done with our marriage and i was going to move out. I told him if things still didnt change i wasnt going to try and work things out. You cant make someone change if they dont want to. it does not matter how hard you try. tell him how you feel tell him you want to trust him you want to believe him but you dont feel he is taking you seriously. then you have to try hard to not accuse him because if you do he wont try. if you truely have a gut feeling after trying all of this it just isnt worth it. 3 years it alot to throw away but its a lifes lesson

Q: how do i dump an acquaintance who just won't leave me alone. I don't want to hurt his feelings because we see each other frequently in the group of friends we share. How can I tell him that I want nothing more than to have a cordial relationship. No dinners with our spouses, no golf games, no drinks after work. We are both in our 50's.

Thanks.

I think you should just tell him how you feel. I would start it off as I dont want you to take this the wrong way but.. i hope i helpped a little and good luck

Q: I am 16 years old female. It's my sophomore year of highschool and I am becoming depressed. I have a younger brother and sister that are twins. They are freshman in highschool and i hate it. Exspecially since my sister is like a mini me, only people think shes prettier and it just seems like shes better than me at everything. Like school, sports ect. We both hangout with the same type of friends. Sometimes I feel like my friends like her better than me. During my freshman year in highschool the upperclassman guys all thought i was really cute and were trying to get to know me and stuff. Now it seems like they would rather talk/hangout with her and not only is it embaressing but it really hurts. I am already selfconsious about my looks as it is. I even left school one day crying because someone tried to give me a compliment but it turned into a bigger insult by saying alot of people think my sisters prettier than me. It's making me want to disapear. I dont know what to do anymore. Please help me :'(

Dont be depressed. High school is supose to be fun. Think of it this way. Your little sister looks up to you. She may succeed a little better at stuff but that is only because she watched and learned from you. Dont worry about how many guys like you. Trust me I am 19 and have been through high school. The guys will be your past. focus on your friends that is what really matters alot of them stick with you for a long time. guys come and go until you find mr right. being self consious dont be if you dont like something about your self make your self like it. run everyday. find a hair style you like on your self. try differnt ones hair grows back. practice your sport you are in. dont be jealous of your sister i wish my brothers and i were closer and i doubt it will ever happen and you will want that to trust me.

Q: Hello ,

So I have this situation , I go to the gym , and there is this guy that works there , and so , we use to eye eachother , he works there by the way , and later on he said ''hey'' to me one day , and the next time he was like ''whats up'' and as he came back hes like '' I always see you here , your here like 24/7'' and stuff , and then now he says ''hey'' to me or ''smiles'' to me and stuff , and I want to get to know him more , what should I do ? Should I ask him to hang out?

PLEASE HELP

Thanks.
BETTY

yeah go for it. its 2010. woman ask men to hang out or catch a movie or what not.

Q: this guy i work with gave me his number and wrote it down and left it on my windsheild. he said that he would give it to me if i wanted him to work my shift this week b.c im working a lot. but he didnt when he left and i was glad b.c i have a boyfriend of 2 years and yes we might not be on good terms right now but i would never text another guy no matter what he was doing im deeply in love with him so when i found the number i thought it was cute he did it like that but i dont want it so i threw it out. i dont want to tell my boyfriend and start shit because i want to be with him and not break up. did i do the right thing?

you dont have you tell him. little stupid things like that its better to just not cause conflict. ecspeciallt if the two of you are on bad terms.

Q: Well i used to be really really jealous and me and my boyfriend of four years broke up because of it, because he kept lying to not hurt me, and it bothered me when he watched porn and stuff, but later he begged me back and he said he loved me & wanted me back. So now that we were together i asked him not to look at porn and if he wanted pictures or something i would send him some and even though i'm trying to get un-jealous like before i wouldn't let him go out without me(yeah i was psycho lol) but now i let get him get away with a lot but i still have jealous thoughts every once in a while, so the day before i wanted my moms number that he had on his phone and i had just gotten a new phone so i asked him for it and he didn't want to give it to me so i got suspicions? And i was like are you doing something wrong? Later he admitted he had porn on it, and i got kinda upset in my head, and later i couldn't stop thinking about it and i was sad and basically said told him i know it's because they look better or you fantasize about other girls but i was saying it not asking it.It was really supposed to be a rhetorical question. And he said well i do fantasize about other girls cause you're the only one i've been with, ( i told him he wasn't supposed to answer and he said he didn't know) and that hurt me really bad and i was like so you'd go with another girl and do her and he said "i just want to" and i was like so you do want to, and he said yeah. Like is that normal? Should i be mad or break up with him? Like now it disgusts me cause we're not even married like i know that happens to married people that have been together for a long time, but us i'm young i have the same body as the porn stars except without the fake big boobs mine are real so i just don't know how to react or what to do. i Just hung up on him cause without saying anything cause this happened right before he went into work so he didn't call back.
Please just tell me your opinions.

fantasizeing about being with another girl is wrong but i think watching porn is alright my husband and i watch porn together.

Q: How do you add someone on facebook?

Go on their profile at the top of the page it will say add as friend.. if you are wanting to search for someone you type their name in as the search bar on your facebook page and search through that name until you find the one you are looking for.

Q: 14/f
One week ago, I got scratched by a rose bush on my right leg. I was wearing long pants but I guess it went through. I had two long scratches on my leg as a result. Well, now it has evolved into more. I have two bigger wounds now where there wasn't even a scratch before and they hurt. Another one of those is starting to form. And now even more are showing up out of no where. I have another one that looks like a big bug bite. Also, numerous small ones that look kind of like razor burn.. Not sure if this is dangerous or I should just let heal on its own. What are your recommendations?

I think you should go and see a doctor. it may be posion ivy to. does it itch? and when it happen did you clean it our with like peroxide

Q: me and my boyfriend have been dating for a couple months now. and all of a sudden hes asked for a naked pic ( i wont and havent given him one) i told him i deserved more respect than that, and he didnt seem to care that he hurt my feelings.
so school starts tommorrow and i will see him again. io want to break up with him and have waited till now to do it face to face.
how do i break up with him.
he wont care when i do, i doubt he even had feelings for me.
so suggestions?

i dont know you but i am proud of you for having that kind of respect for you and honestly i would just tell him your really disrespected me and didn't care that you did it and tell him its over.

bio

My name is Ashley. I am 22 years old. Ill be celebrating my 3rd 21st birthday June :) . I had my first child at 15. I got married at 18 and had another child shortly after. They have two different fathers. I am currently going threw a divorce. I moves states after we seperated ( ugly seperation) but I had no family in that state. I left everything except my beautiful babies and our clothes. I found a job up north and things are going good. I am dating. I have been in abusive situations. I am going to college for psychology and sociaology. Im here to listen help and give you advice ive been in alot of different situations and can relate to a lot.