Member Since:
November 23, 2007Answers:
519Last Update:
July 8, 2014Visitors:
35408Favorite Columnists
xosodapopx3
JustJessOx
Jackieee
about
advice
HI 14/f
Ok, me and one of my very close guy friends likes me. His names Joey.We are very close because we use to date, last year we did. Well, we had a bad break up and he went out with my friend, i warned him she's not right for him and she will cheat on him, and she did. He felt bad for not believing me. Well that's when he started liking me.At that time i didn't we went to the movies together, as friends, and we are very close. I just found out a month ago from his best friend and MINE that he secretly liked me. I don't know why he didn't tell me himself. Finally i asked himself myself if he did, and he said yes he did, but he doesn't want to date anyone right now. Well, i think that's because he just broke up with his recent girl friend (she dumped him :/) , but he's actually happy about it because he didn't really like her, so his best friend said. What i want to know is when will we date? I REALLY truly like him, and want to be his girl friend, and he really like's me to because every time we look at each other and lock eyes, it stays like that for ever it seems♥ Boy, he's amazing.
Thanks for the help.
Hey there,
You will only date when both of you are ready. And for him to be ready, you have to give him all your support, be positive around him, tell him "when you are ready, im ready." Be patient, give him his space when he needs it, and show him that you are there for him if he needs anyone.
It is so cute that you can have that connection with one another :) I am sure it will work out. When the time is right he should come to you. If he doesn't, you can slowly and gently go to him. But give him time.
Good luck
iv been smiling like a giddy idiot all through work today haha
(i posted this question a couple of days ago)
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=570025
its the same girl, except after a few hours today i finnaly grew a pair of nuts sucked up my shyness and tried to talk to her. it went great! her personality is as beutiful as her style.
her slightly aussie accent is really cute too
i dont think any one knows that i like her im trying to hide it a bit so i can get to know her better. thing is though iv been thinking out a long term (sort of) plan to get to know her a bit better
after we'v talked in work and if all goes well then how do i think of a cute way to give her my number so that it makes it really obvious or slightly obvious that i like her. im not affraid of rejection .. at least i hope im not.. iv been alone for 6 years and am really rusty at this :s
any advice on anything else you can think of would be appreiciated.
thanks again all of you
Hey,
You are such a sweet guy :)
If you want to let her know that you like her, smile, look into her eyes, touch her arm or shoulder to let her know you want to be with her, compliment her, make her laugh, send her a wink every now and then, drop her a cute note saying 'you are ____' (fill in the blank) and slip it in her pocket OR you can slip her your number with a smily face or heart, and most importantly be yourself!
19f
so my best guy friend, we've been close for about 6 years now or so got in a fight last night.
he's a really popular kid, all the girls want him, but he never let that get to his head. he currently broke up with his girlfriend of a long time and now feels the need to be a player! and still hang out with his ex at the same time?! i don't want him to be like that! he's my best friend!
so i heard from people what he was doing to girls, like saying he'll hang out with them and then at the last minute say oh i have to go to my uncles, and then go hang out with his ex.
so i confronted him last night, well in a text, maybe not the best way to go buuuuut, this is what happened...
i was like i heard what you're doing to girls! it's not nice! and i told him how i heard about ditching a girl to hang out with his ex and lying about it and he was like what? and then i was like stop being a player mister! and he was like what are you talking about? and i was like don't play dumb, you're playing girls and it's not right. and he was like i don't know what you're talking about and neither do you. and i was like yeah i do! and he was what the hell are you talking about? he was like ok whatever linds. and i was like don't get mad at me! you don't have to hide this from me, so much for being best friends. and he was like ok sure yeah i know. and i was like ok smartass, maybe we should just not be friends anymore since you're going to act like this towards me..
and he never texted back! and then i find out he was with his ex! that boy, god i don't know! i just want whats best for him because i care about him as my friend and don't want him to be known as a player who hurts girls.
before he never treated me like this, like a jerk! ever since he hasn't been "officially" with his ex he's acted weird towards me and i hate it. and now, i don't even know if we're friends anymore? and now he's lying to me, acting like he doesn't know what i was talking about when he knows EXACTLY what he did.
Hey,
How do you know for sure that he is playing girls? It could just be a rumour! When a person sees a guy with another girl, it seems they always USuaLLY assume a guy is cheating. EVEN if it is not true.
The conversation you had with him, sounds pretty convincing that he wouldnt cheat.. Did you even listen or ask about his side of the story? He could have a reasonable explanation. Such as he really did have to go to his uncles, then his ex called him, so he went over there for a while.
This said, he should know to stick to his previous plans and tell his ex that he is meeting someone else and that he could spend time with her later. Or just tell her that they are over. Obviously he still has feelings for his ex that he hasn't got over yet, otherwise he would not keep going back to her. Most guys just move on right away once they are 'over' a girl. Where he seems somewhat attached to his ex yet.
It IS possible he has feelings for both girls. You can fall in love with two people at the same time. He may be slightly confused with who he wants to be with.
He acts weird towards you because he could be unsure of what to do himself. Guys can be clueless and not realize what they did. He probably has NO IDEA what he did. Guys are generally senseless to others feelings AND maybe he didn't want to discuss this with you because he knew you would think of him as a bad guy or not let him have a word in.?. cuz he knows what he is doing is wrong.
DID you know your facts before confronting him?
You should talk to him in person, ask him what is going on. His acting weird towards you could mean he just wants you to understand him and be there for him. Just talk to him about it, and most importantly... listen.
Unless you know that he has cheated on girls before, is a smartass, plays dumb, and lies, you shouldnt assume anything.
You know him better than anyone else.
Hi 14 f
Okay, me and my friend Joey are close. We dated before, and i felt t that we were a good couple. We broke up though, well i found out from his friend chris(tht also is my friend) that he likes me. He told me he can so tell and and everyone else can. My friend shaila told me JOEY told her tht he like me to, but he said not to tell. Well, it seems like he really really likes me, he stares at me talks to me makes me laugh, sits by me every time he gets the chance, today even he joined himself in our reading group haha. he sat right next to me and he was playing with a wire behind me, that rubbed up against me. hahah it tickled. My friend called him and asked him out and he said no. i dont know what is up. Maybe i will have to ask him out? I think i had to the first time, i asked him on Myspace whats going on. I hope he reads it and replys.
Help me OUT please!
Thanks:)
Hi,
If he is staring,talking,trying to get near you,making you laugh,sitting by you.. he obviously likes you! He most likely rubbed the wire against you on purpose to flirt and gain your attention AND he probably wants you to react to the attention he is giving you :)
He probably turned the other girl down, because he wants you to be his girlfriend. Joey does not necissarily want you to ask him out, he just wants to make sure you like him the same way so he does not look silly asking you out and getting turned down. Therefore, you CAN always ask him out if you want to. Joey also may have turned her down, because she is your friend and if he likes you it wouldnt be right to date your friend right in front of you while still having feelings for you. In other words, he respects you.
Try to get him alone in person and ask him how he feels, if he says he likes you, tell him you like him too. If he doesn't say that he likes you, just flirt with him a little and hint that you do and he will catch on ;)
Me & Seth are best friends and have been for 3 years now. He's 18 and a senior in high school, I'm 15 softmor in high school. I've had my heart broken before Seth was there and comfurted me. I'm nervous that my last heart break(march '09) might have affected me liking him. Either way I like him, what should I do?
-Quinnie
(female 15, usa)
Hi,
You should not let other guys get in your way of what is right or how you feel for someone. If a person broke your heart, you have to try and move on from him right away. He obviously did not care, because if he did he wouldn't have done what he did to you. He isnt worth your time.
It does not matter what anyone else thinks. If you like Seth and know him well, go for it. And if he is a sweet guy, he will understand what you are going through and no matter what, accept you. :)
Basically 4 different guys liked me. All of my friends thought this was like perfect, but i hated every minute of it. I only liked one of them "in that way" and now he barely talks to me because of these other guys. I have explained over and over that i only like him. We have kinda made up now but we dont speak half as much as we used to. when he kinda "ignored" me for a week or so, i didnt contact him at all, i thought if he wants to be like that then ill leave him to it. then he soon came back to me!! He said he still really likes me, but he never calls/texts/emails me. I have imed him online before and he ignored me twice, but when he sees me he always acts like nothing is wrong, and telling me how much he likes me. except he imed me and said "hi beautiful how have you been?" i imed him back saying im good etc, and he didnt reply? and he always does this. I dont understand at all!
Hey there,
I believe this guy is just thinking that you are interested in the other three guys and so why would you want to be with him. He is a typical guy that thinks you arent interested, because you have so many other guys wanting you and therefore he probably isnt better than all the rest. You have to show him he is different.
Guys dont catch on that you like them. You either spend quality time with him alone and flirt a little to make him know he is special or you just kinda hint (or flat out tell him) that you like him. Remember to give him a little space though. He obviously likes you! and would like to get to know you better :) Tell him you would like to spend some time with him alone one day, talk about what is happening, and say you do miss talking to him ;)
Sometimes, he is thinking the same thing as you. Such as, "why isnt she texting me back? If I wait, hopefully she will come to me if shes interested". If he does not reply right away, don't worry. He may be helping his family, taking a shower, or hanging out with his friends. Just doing something that distracts him for a few minutes. He could also be trying to think of something to say, because he is shy, unsure what to say, or thinking he might say the wrong thing.
Text him or email him every now and then (not too much though) saying that you would like to get together, hang out, or just say hi and ask how he is :)
He WILL start talking to you more, hanging out with you more, and get to know/understand you better the more you talk and spend time together. Eventually his love for you will be even clearer. He will only give you every chance that you give him. He does sound like a great guy.
Be yourself, smile, communicate, and you will be on your way in no time :) He is probably only as confused as you are ;) Keep smiling at him
I met a boy on holiday, yeah I know typical. I’ve never had any experience with boys (16/f), but with him i was defiantly comfortable and so was he. When it came to intimate stuff, we could talk openly about things, for example, whenever we tried to lock fingers i couldn’t do it properly and we laugh about it and stuff like that, he is a gentleman. We spent four hours on top of a hill, talking. Hugging. Nothing else. We were alone and he didn’t try a thing. He didn’t want to scare me away, infact he told me all of this.
We have an amazing connection – we both like the same football team – we even went to the same game, he fishes like i do, he goes horse riding like i did, just things like that – these aren’t lies because he showed me pictures and videos of him fishing etc etc, so its not him trying to fool me etc.
He is in the year below me but I am only three months older. We get on so well. He broke up with his gf in January and they went out for a year and a half, so he has pretty had a lot of experience and stuff. We just get on so well, and even though i don’t have a lot of experience with boys, i know i really like him, and that he really likes me. He lost his mum when he was 13, my mum was diagnosed with a disability called MS when I was 6 – so we both share some sort of similar pain.
The only problem is he lives and hour and half away from me. Its not too hard to get there and stuff but I wouldn’t know how we would juggle things – me with work and college and him with his GCSE’S. Last year, this happened to my friend but in the end he didn’t give a shit about her. I don’t want that happening to me but if anyone is making a bigger effort its him. He sent me a message on facebook an hour after we said goodbye and sent me a text message to wake up to. Little things like that – my friend’s “summer” crush never did that. Infact she was the one making the effort. I know he is making and effort and I know I want to.
Should I give it a try or should I leave it, on a high?
Hey there,
I would say, give it a try. You don't neccisarily have to have a bf/gf relationship, but you could start becoming even closer friends. There is nothing wrong with long distant relationships, they work out just fine. It is the equal effort that will help you make it through everything. Most relationships rely on 'things in common', so it is good you have alot in common :) But don't tell him everything right away or he won't have anything more to discover about you.
If at any time you feel as if something is wrong, that is a sure sign that you should probably not be with him or just watch your back. Trust your instincts, they will help you the most. Give it a try and good luck!
My parents are divorcing and it's really hard. I cry all the time. I don't want them to divorce and not be together. They're always yelling now and fighting over really STUPID stuff! I hate it. It's making me really depressed. Mom says Dad doesn't listen to her and Dad says Mom doesn't seem interested in him any more. It sounds like a big bunch of garbage now and I just want this to be fixed. What do I do? How do I cope?
Hey there,
My parents are divorced, and as hard as it was,there were many things that helped me get through it.
Hobbies or anything that keeps your mind occupied help, reading, music, and talking to your friends/people you trust help the most. It is always okay to cry. Crying helps you let it all out and cleanse your soul.
You should try to live your life as you normally would and spend time with your friends as much as possible. Friends are the best medicine, they can make any day brighter. Ignore the noises you hear,it is between your parents and they will work it out.
Keep you head high no matter what, smile through it all, keep living your life, and it will be alright. You will always have both your parents and they will always love you the same. Sometimes things cannot always be fixed,just mended well.
Hi Guys,
It seems like lately me and my friends are drifting apart. I knew this would happen when we all started new colleges and we are meeting new people. I have met some amazing people at my college, but I still love my old friends. I still speak to my old friends every day and I see them reguarly. But it seems like we don't have barely anything in common anymore.
I love going to parties and meeting new people and I am much more confident than I was a year ago. But my old friends aren't into this sort of stuff. I don't know what to do because my old friends are my best friends. I want them to come to parties with me, but if they don't want to come then I feel bad for going with one of my new friends.
I feel like I am the only one who has changed and all my other friends have stayed the same. I don't know why but it's made me feel so lonely and slightly depressed. And that's not who I am at all, i'm usually happy all of the time but it's been getting me down lately. I don't want to stop seeing my old friends, because they're my best friends, but they are not into the same things as me.
Please help...xoxo
Hi,
No matter what happens, your friends are always going to be there for you. You can always spend time with your old friends at some time and then spend time with your new ones later. Ask your old friends if they want to go to the mall or hang out one on one to catch up with the past days. Once you start a conversation, you usually find that things that were forgotten are things you still have in common. Send them hand written letters, those usually hit home the best. Say things like, remember when... and start creating flashbacks. You may be a little depressed because you just need to know that you are spending time with everyone. Im sure if you casually ask 'do you mind if I come with you to.. someplace' they wont mind and you could join in on something they like and visa versa. You could always find something none of your friends have done and have a big get together to do it or to have one big party with old and new friends;everybody included! There are always a ton of things everyone has in common... you just have to discover what they are and pounce on them! Good luck! :)
Okay, theres this guy? And like four weeks ago, we dated? and then now he likes my best friend and bad part about it is she likes him too, and he was dating her cousin its like WTF! and i really do love him, and he told me he wants to put me back in his life? But i've tried letting him before and all he does is break my heart all over again and move back to someone else.. and i'm trying to make him realize what he did was wrong, and im telling him things to make him realize that he CAN'T have me right now, and maybe never? and he makes things worst? and i just love him and wanna be with him but i can't stand the things he does? So what do i do??
Hey,
If a guy breaks your heart,moves on to someone else and then wants you back; that is NOT treating a girl right. You are not a toy to be played with! Its good you try to make him realize what he did was wrong, he should know better. Talk to him and explain to him he cannot continue doing what he does if he really wants to be with you and that he should learn how to respect. Keep hinting every now and then that you really like him and want to be with him, but assure him you wont be with him unless change happens. Eventually, if he changes for you then you could tell him that you love him. For when a guy is willing to change himself even a little for someone else, it shows he is interested.. and worth your effort ;) Good luck!
okay so ive liked this guy for a few months. he used to like me since 5th grade (basically since we met).im not sure if he currently does..but i keep getting signs that he might. we stopped talking after entering high school pretty much. but, now i do like him, back then..i dont know..i just didnt have feelings for him. anyway i found him on myspace, added him, he accepted, etc. so i commented him and said hi. he messaged me back and we talked for an hour. after, i asked for his number..he gave it to me. we havent really texted but once i was on myspace and aim, and he messaged me asking for my aim..so i gave him it and without me asking..he gave me his. he IMed me once, 3 days ago, and we talked for like 30 minutes. then 2 days ago..i decided to IM him first this time. so i was happy i was talking to him, but i was coming up with everything to say! he had a lot of one word reply's. it was boring for me, basically. you know? so then finally..in like the middle of the conversation, he started talking more after i brought up something about the past.. then it just went back to being boring. i said i had to go, and said bye. i waited for a few minutes, and he didnt respond, so i jsut logged off. that was the last time i spoke to him. a few hours after, he updated his profile..saying he had an interest in spanish girls? im not spanish..so i got confused with why he ever liked me? i mean, a lot of people mistake me for being spanish..although, i am white haha. but, ever since 2 days ago, he hasnt even tried talking to me? i mean, whats up with that? he makes it seem like he likes me then just doesnt even try to talk to me? ugh. anyway, so i go on myspace and i see how he commented on a bunch of different girls profiles calling them hot and sexy. =/. when hes talking to me..he acts like a total gentlemen. its soo weird. i dont know why he's so different around me? basically i just want some answers to all of this. im 16/f hes the same age. oh, and do you think i should even try with this guy? im so confusedd! thankyou
Hi,
Hmm, this guy seems interested,but unsure of a relationship. When he doesn't IM you back,he is probably waiting to see if you will IM him because he is most likely checking if you are interested enough to come back. But you should not be IM'ing him several times a day or it will seem overdone, try IM'ing him only a few times a week and not in a row,unless he contacts you.
You didn't say if you live close by eachother,or else you could ask him casually to come hang out one day or watch a movie. Some guys arent good conversation starters,so if the convo goes boring,try to pick it up with a sport or activity he likes doing or play twenty questions! He could just be tired and therefore has not much to say :/
When he mentions Spanish girls it could be that he thinks you are Spanish,maybe he is trying to make you jealous,or he is just saying that to change his profile and see how many Spanish girls hit him up (One of them could be you,you said you may appear Spanish..?.)
As I said earlier,he probably wants you to start the convo and He (obviously) changes how he acts around you because he wants to appear more mature around you,then when he is with his buddies being childlike and immature. He wants to impress you. If he wasnt interested he would not be changing how he acts/looks. He probably thinks that you are into more mature guys and so he changes himself to fit your 'ideal guy' that he sees you with. If this isnt what you want him to see you as,hang out with him and show him the real you :)
Yes! I know you should try. The main thing is that he changed himself for YOU. He doesnt care about what anyone else thinks. Comment his funny pic on his MSN,find his interests and talk to him!
You may think you are confused,hes probably thinking 'what do we have in common?'. Show him what your interests are,be yourself, and just GO for it!
Good luck!
i wouldn't consider myself "loose," (i'm 17) but i certainly know i can be tighter. i know all about the kegel exercises, and have been doing them. my question is, when you masturbate by rubbing your clit and you cum, the vaginal muscles contract. alot. so if you masturbated a few times a day by rubbing your clit (not inserting anything, that'll make it looser) and having your vaginal muscles contract in orgasm, will that help strengthen your vaginal muscles and make them tighter? i think i did it last summer...but not on purpose. so now i'm wondering. because my then boyfriend i was having sex with noticed i'd gotten tighter. was it because of that? please help haha. i want to "tighten up" again. fast. 17/f
Masturbating does help strengthen your vaginal muscles an extreme amount and it does tighten your vagina,but only for a short while. It is the getting 'turned on' part that tightens your vagina (contractions),such as when you had sex with your boyfriend.
No matter how loose you think your vagina is, your boyfriend wont ever notice you being lose/tight,its hard for him to tell. And no matter how much you masturbate, your vagina has a natural "tightness" that your vagina will always go back to. You cannot forever keep your vagina stretched or tightened. So if you just want to tighten up for good sex, masturbate during ;)
um.....hey i have brown eyes omg but i soo dont know what to bring them out with i use eye liner well black eye liner and i dont know what else to put on and. By the way im 14years old i dont whant like to much make up on and ya thank you very much bibi
Hey,
Try using different shades of eyeshadow on your lids, use brown liner instead of black, and/or use the new mascara that is specially made to bring out your natural eye color. It is called "Lash Blast Luxe" and has a tinted shimmer. Try to use products that enhance not blend in your natural eye color :) Hope this helps! Good luck!
I am a freshman and there is a senior that goes to my school that I have liked for a while. He is really cute, sweet , smart and funny. He seems to stare at me a lot. He looks at me over his friend's shoulders. When I catch him staring he holds the eye contact for what seems like forever. He 'accidently' touches my arms, hands, shoulders and lower back. He walks really close to me in the halls when we pass. i like him a lot and want to know if these signs mean he likes me back.
Hey,
Yes! I would say he is totally crushing on you, subtly :) Any pause and holding of eye contact is a sign, touching in any way is a sign, and trying to get nearer to you in the halls is a sign! This guy is really sending you signals, you lucky gal! Try talking to him, compliment something he is wearing, send him signals back, spend some quality time together, and get to know one another one on one ;) It sounds like you are on your way to a sweet relationship :) Good luck!
My cat used too use the litter box and then I started taking him outside and he usally goes to the bathroom when hes outside and now I am trying to break him up doing that and start using his litter box again,but for some reason,he refuses to use it.I keep clean cat litter in it and keep litter box itself very clean,any suggestions?
Hey there,
When trying to get a cat to go in its litter box again, you should try putting the litter box outside in a place you know your cat goes (since it already knows to go outside) to do its duty, then see if it goes in the litter box..if it goes in it, move it back into the house WITHOUT cleaning it. You DO NOT want to clean it, for a cat tends to go to the bathroom in the same spot and if the litter smells familiar the cat will aim for that spot to go. No matter what,put the box in a noticable place for your cat. Another thing, is if you have the box in the house and you see your cat going to the washroom outside,put a bit of litter on the spot where it peed outside and then scoop it back into the litter box or scoop some of its poo in the litter box. That way,the litter box will smell like it, and the cat will be more likely to notice the box and "go" there.
Hope this helps :) Good luck!
i feel completely lost and hurt and i really dont know why i feel so bad. to start with im 16 yrs old. i really like this guy who is 17 lets call him alex. we have been friends for over 2months now and basically since day 1 we have been attracted to eachother. we have kissed etc and a few weeks ago he told me he really liked me. and i told him i really liked him too =]
any way the past few days he has been really moody with me. i have tried to speak to him about it but he either ignores me or says hes in a mood so doesnt want to talk.
his friends all say he likes me, and he just goes through phases where hes in a mood with people. i dont believe this though and i dont think he likes me. if you like someone you dont ignore them do you ?
do you think some guys are just like this ? also what should i do, i dont want to keep trying to talk to him if he is just going to ignore me ..
Hey,
Yeah, it can seem difficult at first..
I think he is a lil moody,at the moment. Just as you have your bad days, he will have his,and when he does, you should try to give him his space, speak to him nicely, and tell him that when he is not in "the mood" to give you a call or message you so you can talk, just the two of you.
It may take time, but be patient, he may have a lot going on in his life at the moment or there is something he is just frustrated about in his life. He may also just be shy, and isnt ready or comfortable to confront you just yet.. He probably really doesnt want to ignore you,but when he sees you he freezes and loses his words.
Some guys are shy and ALL guys have thier "moody" days.
Give him time. But,while you do.. just keep polite, smile at him, and approach/talk to him slowly, until he is ready.
Good luck
I have been with this guy for a few months and we've friends for a few years. Our relationship is different from most people our age,we don't play games and we both know that we'll always be together. I really love him but a lot of things have been happening lately that I'm worried about. Tell me what you think;
He gets mad really easily and says that he's not good enough for me and he's an idiot and all that.
When he gets upset he really hurts me, he'll just leave without saying goodbye and he won't come over.
He always thinks that I don't care about him as much as he cares about me and that he shows me how much he loves me but I act like I don't love him.
HELP! Has anyone ever been with a guy that does these things?
Hey there,
Sounds like he is really thinking about the relationship. When he gets mad easily and says hes an idiot, he is probably thinking that you show how much you love him all the time and that he doesnt give you as much love as he thinks he should. It sounds as if He would like to be the leader and just have you trust and follow him, with you in his arms. When he leaves without saying goodbye, he just needs time to think 'what just happened' over by himself.
What i think you need to do, is find a way to SHOW him EVERYDAY that you love him no matter what. Its the little things that really count. Leave him a sticky note on the bathroom mirror saying "I love your ______" every morning; changing the words in the blank (and be SERIOUS about what you choose). Bake him some heart cookies, cuddle with him while watching his favorite movie, know what his favorites are, go to a spa or get a massage together, just rent a movie for the two of you, make him a meal, go for a walk in the park together, give him his space, invite some of his friends for a party, Always find time to spend with him! AND, look him in the eyes and tell him you love him no matter what everyday! Love is hard work, but with time... love comes easily.
Good Luck!
sorry if this ends up being long but i have two questions kinda...
17/f
ive never understood why society made it so bad for teenagers to have sex. i mean people 13 and even younger were having babies in the past, and that was considered acceptable? In fact if a girl WASNT married by 17 she would be considered too old...
i just dont get why its SUCH a horrible thing for someone my age to have sex if they are ready. and i know about sex. i know that it should be done only out of love, and only if youre mature enough to handle it, and only if you can take on the responsibility of sex and protecting yourself to avoid pregnancy. but if everything is perfect, then whats the big deal? thats my first question if someone could explain that to me...
the second ???? is more personal.
ive been dating my bf for a month, and weve been talking for two. hes already said he loves me, and hes proven it. but then again i can never again trust someone so blindly and im not sure its even possible to love someone after only going out for a month. (i havent said it back btw)
and i asked him how long he would be able to wait because im a virgin and i wasnt planning on having sex anytime soon so he should know that. he looked at me and said "i dont want you to have sex with me until you can look me in the eye and tell me honestly that you love me". That was great to hear, but of course i still get paranoid sometimes. because we started having oral sex and sometimes we get so into it we both just want each other, and i feel like i really wanna do it. BUT i know i shouldnt yet and want to wait longer...just that he forgets about what he told me about sex in the moment as well, and im understanding of that. I asked him if he remembered what he told me later and he said "yeah, but its easy to forget when youre in the moment" which is true because it happened to me as well. i guess my question is...can someone give me a reason why i shouldnt have sex with him, becacuse im running out of reasons... i already told him to get tested before we even had oral, and im going on birth control next week for acne issues so pregnancy wont be possible. and i really feel like im falling for him, and he shows that he loves me everyday....so...y wait? can you have love without sex for an extended period of time? im turning 18 this year btw...
Hey there,
You sound like you understand how making love should be.
The main reason that teens shouldn't have sex is because you could end up with a child. I am not saying children are real bad, they are just a lot of work. Teens should not have children because they are usually not ready to raise a child and able to take care of it inbetween school, your friend life, work schedule, and free time. With a child,if you did have one,would take away time from every single one of these things. Most of the time,a teenagers parent is stuck to care for thier teen daughters child since the teenager is not able to balance all the activities I mentioned above with a child. There is no free time,you would constantly have to be with your child 24-7. I can see where you are coming from though, and these are only a few of the several reasons why pregnancy can be a big deal.
The only reasons why kids are ever having children that young is because in certain countries the life expectancy is very low, and therefore to keep thier society alive the kids have to have children young before they die. Also because of the little awareness that young people have in our world today about the precautions to take when having sex. Therefore they end up with a child since they have never learned or heard of protection and truly understood what sex can do.
About your second question..
I think if you are not ready for sex, and if your boyfriend truly loves you, he will understand and respect your wishes of not having sex until you are ready. One month is a short time for someone to realize they really like a person, but love does come at different times for different people. When you are going to give oral or anything sexual, continue to remind eachother that you don't want to go to far, or just don't do anything sexual at all if you feel you won't remember to stop. At least until you have told him you are ready and love him.
There are three simple reasons that should be reason enough for ANYBODY not to have sex, and those are: because you are not ready, you are afraid he will dump you after you have sex or because you do not want to become pregnant. Those are the main three. The second one I mentioned most likely does not apply to you. So, if you feel you are protected enough and can handle a child if you do become pregnant (for there is a slight chance) and you have both been tested, then I do not see why you should not have sex for any other reason.
And YES! You can have love WITHOUT SEX! for an extended period of time, or forever..
There are so many things that represent love! Things such as: holding hands, taking walks along the beach, smiling at eachother, cute flirtacious actions, giving eachother massages, making eachother handmade items, looking into eachothers eyes and thinking the same thing, going to movies together, giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek then looking away as if you never did it ;) , baking him cookies, making him breakfast in bed, telling him something you love about him every day, going swimming together, cuddling on the couch, watching a romantic movie at home, dancing together, kissing, touching eachother, feeding eachother chocolate dipped strawberries, making eachother love notes to find on eachothers pillow, and warm bubble baths together.. there are so many things you can do, these are just a few.
Its the little things that truly matter, and that a person will remember forever :)
Days from now, when you play the 'remember when' game, there will be so many things you will have done that you can look back and laugh at together, and that mean more than any sex will.
I hope I have inspired you to do more loving things in your relationship. Keep it going
15/f
i used to cut but recently i've been having urges to do it and i find it hard to ignore them. have any suggestions on how to make the urges stop? i've tried scraping my arm with a pen so it doesnt leave any marks but that doesn't seem to satisfy the urges.
thanks
Hey there,
I really hope you can help yourself to stop.
God loves you, your mother loves you, your friends love you.. the list goes on.
Dont ever think that no one loves you, or that you can't get over something that is frustrating you. You have good power and strength to overcome anything! You are Beautiful, don't let anyone tell you otherwise :)
Please scroll down a little on this site and read the peoples stories:
http://www.43things.com/things/view/52116/stop-cutting-myself
I love you
i met this one guy on myspace a while back. he is now my boyfriend. whenever i hang out with him i have to lie to my parents about who he is.
we have hungout alot. but he doesnt drive. and i dont have my lisence yet and he lives about 30 minutes from me so his friend picks me up with him and drives us to his house and then drives me home.
i tell my mom im hanging out with some guys from a different school around here. and yesteday i told her that one of my friends is friends with a guy from about 30 minutes away (which is my boyfriend) and she told me next time i hangout with him she wants to meet him.
im getting my lisence soon and i have a car so i was thinking about going to pick him up and bring him back here.
but shes being lame and wont let me. so i threw a huge fit and i told her i guess she wont ever meet him.
anddd i told her what school he goes to. and according to my parents its a school for 'bad" kids. so that makes things ten times worse. but he doesnt seem bad to me at all. hes so sweeet. and the thing that mkaes it even worse is hes white. and ghetto. and my parents think that i shouldnt put myself down to that level and i can do so much better. but i look beyond those kinds of things. and it hurts me. becuase im happy and they suck at tthis hole thing. oh and they dont know hes my boyfriend. they think hes a friend.
i need advice on what i should do and stufff and how i should talk to my parents about letting me see him. and dont tell me i shouldnt meet anyone on myspace. i dont care what you think about that.
and sorrry if its confusing and long.
ps. i was thinking of seeing him thursday and friday cause i have no school. what should i tell them cause they wont let me drive down there
Hey there,
Sounds a bit troubling.. but, what I would recommend the most is telling your parents the truth about your relationship with him. Let your parents meet him, and if they do end up saying they dont like him, tell them they need to see past all the little things and start seeing the whole picture. I do agree with you. It does not matter if a person is ghetto, or white, or what school they come from. What matters is if the person treats you with respect, is honest, will make time for you, communicates, and loves you for who you are. All these aspects are what make a realationship. Your parents should be able to see past all the simple things and realize your true feelings for him.
But remember, he may not be who he appears to be, since you never truly know a person until you have hung out with them for a period of time. If things do ever seem to get strange, you can always take a step back for a few days and then get back together after when you discover what he is really like.
I think you should tell your parents the truth no matter what. If they dont accept him and you know this guy is for real, tell your parents he really is a sincere guy, have him hang out at your house in front of your parents just once and prove to them that he is a decent guy. Let them meet his parents if they want, then go visit him on your own on the weekend. Give your parents his number and say they can call you if they need so that they arent too worried. Calmly tell them you are old enough to know whether a guy is trustworthy, and that you really like him.
If your parents do not accept who he is after they meet him, then maybe you can go to his house and hang out there more often. I dont think you have to settle for anything more or less. You are who you are, what you appreciate reflects your personality, and your personality is what makes you unique :)
Good luck