Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
Gender: Female
Location: San diego
Member Since: January 18, 2005
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Last Update: June 30, 2016
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Dragonflymagic
adviceman49
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I'm 23/f and I started talking to this new guy (he's 24) and we really connected we joked and there was some major sexual attraction as well. Last weekend we went on our first date and it was awkward of course but he was a perfect gentleman, but at the end of the night there was no kiss. At first I thought, no big deal, maybe he's not as into me as I imagined. Then he later informs me that he wanted to but he was too scared. So then this whole week we were texting back and forth and more and more he'll fall into this kid-like way of talking. Like I'll ask him if he had a good day at work and he'll respond with "Yeah but I'm so seepy now!" Or we'll talk about going out to dinner again and he says "Yeah can't wait to get the food in my tummy I'm hungee!" And if he has talked this way when we first met I wouldn't have tried to start any kind of relationship. I know some girls think thats cute but I'm not one of them. Last night was the nail in the coffin when I said goodnight and he responds with "Yeah I'm going to bed I'm such a sleepy puppy." It seemed like all my attraction just died. He's a sweet guy, but I don't want a puppy, I would like a man. How do I let this guy off easy? I don't want to hurt the puppy. (link)
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I dont totally agree with dragonfly on this one. i feel if your going to cut things off at least TELL the guy what it was you didnt like. I dont think its right to leave him hanging and wondering if he did something wrong only for him to beat himself up about it because he liked you way more than you know.
I have guys friends and ive had to be there for them when a girl did that to them and i dont think its ok. When it comes to relationships, its my belief that you need to be clear and let them know what you like and dont like, just try to be nice about it.
Its better that you be honest, they usually appreciate that further down the road later and thank you for it.
Tell him you dont get the baby voice thing and thats not your thing but you appreciate him trying to be all lovey dovey and what not but he really doesnt have to do that with you.
other then that because we dont know more about him as a person thats really the only thing i can give here advice wise.
good luck.
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Last summer I told my crush that I liked him. He was like oh cool and he still talks to me back then and we chatted daily. Until the school started. We wouldn't talk in real life and its awkward, but we will still message each other after school. That made me really happy because he didnt ignored me after i confessed. So my friends also know i have a crush on him, and if my crush and i passed by tgt, my friends would make noise and he told me he doesnt like it. so one day he got really mad at me becuz my friends "teased us" but i got pissed and ignored him. soon i found he unfriended my through fb so i blocked him. i still think i like him but i dont want to what should i do? i cant even talk to him rn... (link)
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Ok, heres MY idea and i dont know if your brave enough but ill make the assumption you just might be.
What i would do (because i did this as a teen) is i would tell my friends that i DO like him and i dont care what anyone thinks and that if they are my friend they will stop acting all immature and "get a grip". ((let me just throw in here that i was a very strong willed, people person and wasnt afraid to stand up for myself when i was a teen))
I dont know your personality obviously but you "could" shame them into not making fun of you like THAT. Take the high road, and they might just respect you more if you stand up for yourself and put your real feelings out there. No one says you have to do this with everyone else, just your close friends that were doing this so that they can see that you will NOT be disrespected when it comes to your feelings and "how would you like if i did that to you over a guy?!" type of attitude towards it with them.
Theres probably guys they like too, theyve just been too shy to say anything to any of the other girls including you. Their still in "im gonna follow what everyone else is doing and saying" mode and not in the "im going to think and feel and act for myself" mode yet and you ARE because your more mature and theres nothing wrong with that.
Now, with the guy in question. All you can do now is try to be nice to him, do not put yourself in a position where your friends or his can continue to tease, and i would try to message him in whatever way you wanna do that privately and say, im sorry about my friends their just immature and jealous most likely and if you dont wanna talk anymore thats ok and i will respect that but i would still like to at least just be friends because i dont want this petty little thing to end such a good thing.
call it "a thing" too. dont put a label on it right now because he might not be totally sure of how he wants to view the relationship and you might scare him off.
If he decides to talk to you again (but privately) maybe let him know that you dont care what anyone thinks of you or him and he shouldnt either.
hope that can help, idont know, thats just how i would do it i cant say that this will work out for you or not but ive done it before in the past. Other teens usually will respect you more if you hold steadfast to your feelings about something and your verbal about not letting anyone change your mind because their still figuring out who THEY ARE as people and its easier to be a follower then a leader and youll look like a leader if you try this way.
good luck! ; )
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Today I find out my ex girlfriend is 10 weeks pregnant with my child. We have one child together already but we broke up. It wasn't working out. I was confused on how it even happened because we only had sex when she was on the depo. shot. She is considering having an abortion but I don't know how to reply to it. I am just lost on what to do. It's hard to really type all of this but it's the best I could do to sum things up. (link)
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consider your place in life right now. ask yourself a few questions first.
am i ready to help raise another child?
Do i have the money to support another child?
If shes willing would she just give me the child to raise like adviceman said? (not too many women are just gonna give up what they just spent so much time and effort growing inside them but its not impossible either so its still a valid question)
you really just need to take some time to think about where you stand on this. Do you think you would be able to live with yourself deep down if she DID abort....knowing the rest of your life that you could have had a second child but didnt. (not here to guilt trip you just honestly asking)
are you at a place in your life mentally, emotionally, and financially to carry this weight. Children are wonderful but ive always felt they should be brought into a world that was planned as much as possible to may way for them. I myself was an accident and a surprise because they couldnt tell what i was until i came out! ; )
but i turned out to be the strongest, most capable one of my family and personality wise the best thing that could have happened to them because the rest of them arent like that at all. im known as the one that "gets things taken care of" so that should speak for itself. lol.
so just think about where the both of you are, see if maybe you can sit down and talk to her in sensible and logical terms so that your both clear with one another and that you will try to be there for her as much as you can even though things didnt go as planned.
Thats the best answer you can give a pregnant woman who is growing your child inside her and is fearing she may have to do this on her own with no help. She'll at least be able to say that your trying your best to do what you can even though that may not always be enough. It takes two people to create a child so this is also on her as well.
This is as much advice as i can give since we dont know more about your situation and if your in a place where you can do this, if your even of age, and have a place or at least a job or your own.
i hope it works out and theres no reason to think you cant do it if you put your mind to it. You already have one little person who is looking to you AND its mother for guidance in this life, so another one shouldnt be too much harder if you handled the first one ok. ; )
good luck
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I am f/25, he is 30.
We met in November. This guy was super super sweet but I had no idea whether he was interested in romance or friendship so I stuck around hoping it would develop into more. Well, it had been over a month and it still didn't progress past friendship, but since I could really start liking him, I said something. Turns out he did like me romantically (hurray!) he just likes to take things super slow. Fair enough.
We became exclusive in February. Whether it was done on purpose or not, he made a point to passively mention every time we hang out things like "wants to keep his independence and have different interests", "moving in no sooner than a few years after meeting", "one date a week is good enough", and similar slow-timelined things. Whatever, no big deal, I'm not really in a rush, and I kinda assumed as much when it took more than a month for him to even hold my hand! But at the same time, I had some slightly different views, like wanting to see my 'boyfriend' more than once per week, but since most other points were pretty similar I decided not to say something and let things ride their course.
Since then everything seems to be on fast forward. Not in a bad way, but very much different to how it started. We see each other a minimum of 2-3 days per week and we've had numerous deep conversations about marriage, kids, religion, life goals, financials, and living together. I assumed most of these were simply "need-to-know" conversations in order to gauge the relationship direction in terms of compatibility. I've mentioned my whole "want to be married to have kids (ps: i want kids!)", "want to be married for a few years before starting family", "want first kid by age 30", "want to be engaged before living together", etc. Since then, we've said I love you (took me longer to say it back!), we've made love, and we can't not talk to each other every day. I love this. It's great. But so different from what he said in the beginning. He's mentioned (in passing of course) that he wants to move this year because he's getting bored of his apartment (rumour has it that it was a shared place with his ex) and then keeps saying things about how great my place is, and if it weren't so far from his work he'd stay over more. Part of me is excited that he's [potentially] thinking about that, and yet I still can't help but worry that I don't want to be living in a dreamworld only to find it shattered because 'things are moving too fast' and he walks.
Is it normal to move this fast as you get older? My last relationship took over 4 years before any mention of 'future' didn't get him all up in [angry] knots! And is it super weird that I would totally say yes if he proposed, yet not-so-much to the idea of him moving in? It's not a commitment thing, because he's basically perfect and I know he genuinely loves me to pieces. I often imagine our life together (house, wedding, kids, the whole bit!), but the idea of him moving in with me scares me to death. I mean, he hasn't even met my family yet! (link)
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Yup, i agree. The 4 year relationship with no talk of the future was the weird one not this one.
He probably figures that "well since your together now you need to talk about the future" so i see nothing wrong with this part.
Him still wanting to make sure that he can have his own hobbies and interests i dont see anything wrong with either because as a couple as they say "if your going to be together forever" then youll still need to maintain of sense of self, and not wrap your whole life up in your partner because when you do that theres a VERY high chance that youll always be let down because they didnt turn out to be everything you wanted them to be. Some people will start to hold their partner to TOO high expectations with things and THATS whats not healthy. So it really just sounds like he wants to prevent that from happening and that sounds ok to me.
Alot of women have a tendency to put so much into their relationship that they lose everything in the process, friends, hobbies and interests etc because they become what people will start what becomes the old "their joined at the hip" syndrome.
This often will make friends think "well now i have to worry about what HE thinks of me when i talk to my friend about things too" and people feeling like they cant just spend time with YOU anymore because you have to consult your man about every choice you make first before you can turn sideways. lol
It sounds like hes trying to create the foundation for a long term, HEALTHY relationship with you by saying the things hes said so far and these things will also benefit YOU as you will be able to exercise your freedoms as well so it goes both ways.
the only thing i see here thats "odd" is the not living together until your engaged thing, i think thats honestly a bad idea. You dont REALLY know someone until youve lived with them because thats where any kind of games stop and the curtain is pulled back for you to see who they really are day to day. ((AKA any bad habits you dont like about him you can nip in the bud NOW before its too late and you have to discover it one day)) imagine the horror! ; )
I wouldnt consider it "abnormal" once you start a relationship to start talking about the things youve mentioned no. You obviously have ot make sure your compatible with each other in EVERY aspect, so thats not odd.
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Hi there. You answered a previous question about how I could try different things so I could get the look that I want. Your the only one to give me any useful advice, so I wanted to ask; I'm going to try buying a little bit of natural makeup today, but how can I use it without my parents finding out. I am homeschooled and the only person I trust completely with keeping this secret is my best friend. She wears natural makeup regularly. She also lives about 40 mins away, so it would be hard to let her hold the makeup to where I can still use it. When I go to college, there should be someone that could hold my makeup for me so I can use it at school without my parents finding out, but I still have another year of high school before college, and want to get some natural makeup before summer. So far I've been able to get lip color without them noticing because I've had a history with very chapped lips and people would always say it looked like I was wearing lip stick. So wearing a little lip color wasn't very noticeable to my parents. The reason they don't let me wear makeup is because of the religious group we are in. Years ago, the people of my religion wouldn't wear makeup or cut their hair, but not since times are changing every girl in my religion does it. My parents are the only ones who won't allow it. They know everyone else is doing it, and just looks down on them for that fact. But sometime in the morning I have dark circles under my eyes, because I have often suffered with extremely bad insomnia. My two dogs and my neighbors dog has kept me up a lot, but lately I've finally been able to sleep normally. When I do have trouble tho, I have dark circles under my eyes, and parts of my face seems redder than normal, and once in a while I'll have a small red speck on my face. Also, in the morning, I only have a very few freckles, but they become noticeable in the mornings. Come noon, everything is fine again (most of the time), but I don't want stuff on my face whether I'm going somewhere that morning or not. How can I buy the makeup without my mom or sister catching me looking at it today (since we will be in the same store, just split up), and how can I keep the makeup hidden from my parents? (link)
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Ok well since your home schooled you probably done leave the house that often then right? so who would there be to wear make up FOR besides yourself? make up is usually to make yourself look presentable for others. i wear it and honestly it can get expensive so its best to just wear it when your about to go out to see people or to a party.
do your parents look through your purse or bag alot? is there a secret pocket inside the lining of the bag you could keep it in so even if they took a quick look they wouldnt know? you could always buy a purse while your at the store with them and just say you need a new purse and your old one is messed up and filthy looking and then split off while at the store and go look for one that has dark or black lining on the inside of the bag and then see if it has a small secret pocket that has a zipper. Thats your best chance at being able to buy make up PERIOD and be able to have some place at your house to keep it. just make sure no one knows about the secret pocket.
if you cant find a purse that has one then you can cut the lining at the top of the purse yourself at home and youll have the whole purse to store make up in between the lining instead of just a small secret pocket. ; )
i have the same issue with it looking like im wearing lipstick because i have notoriously chapped lips all the time. you could buy a lip gloss to enhance the color to your lips you naturally have already and youd be able to pass it off as chap stick.
theres some make ups like foundations that disquise themselves as "sunscreen" for the face. tell your mom that you need a sunscreen that can go on your face thats not really oily like reg. sunscreen is and is gentle and wont make you brake out. that alone would be a good reason for going into the sunscreen isle at the store with her if you have to, then just continue to insist that your NOT looking for make up your looking for sunscreen for your FACE and that you dont really have a choice on walking into the make up isle because thats where they keep it. thats no ones fault thats just how they stock the store. thats out of your control, so she will have no reason to complain or say your trying to buy make up.
have you ever tried wearing regular sunscreen on your face?? its oily, and thick, and when it gets hot and runs, it can get in your eyes and burn really badly. tell her that. and that regular sunscreen isnt meant for delicate facial skin. ; )
you dont have to be "into make up" to just buy some decent sunscreen that is meant for you face. just because your in that isle doesnt mean youve all the sudden turned on your religion. if you have to put your foot down by telling her that your refuse to wear reg. sunscreen on your face then do it.
but for you situation the purse thing would be the best way to go if you need to hide make up. Just make sure your parents from fly off the handle and go try to search your room and then suspect the bag because if they inspect in too closely they may find the make up youve purchased.
while your split off from her in the store go buy the make up you want and then throw the bag and the receipt away and put the make up in the new purse before you meet back up with her. Your "just gonna go check out the purses because you need a decent one and youll be right back"
just make sure she doesnt want to look inside the bag when you meet back up with her of she'll find the make up you just bought.
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Should I call her?? Or text her??
If I call her she might be asleep at midnight so she might not answer her phone or if she answer it she might get annoyed at me for calling late at night . This is the first time I'll do this to a girl I have a crush on...so bear with me (link)
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i would say a text since its late and youl have the proof of knowing you did it right at 12 midnight and that you got to say happy bday first!
say "hey its midnight!! so happy birthday!! and i got to say it FIRST on your bday muhahaha!"
be playful. girls usually like that.
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I'm beggining to hate them...
Here's the story
My bestfriend and I had this project in electronics, we spent four whole weeks graphing it, and buying all the parts needed in order to make it, and another 5 weeks assembling it. I promise, we did our best, but by the time we were going to pass it, one of the circuits broke down and the transformer burned down. So he bought a new one and he said he'll try to do it at his house. In the afternoon, he had this huge problem, the circuits of the new transformer was different from the one on our design, so there was no choice but to spend the night with him, and so it all began.
I asked my parents if I could spend the night at his house. They said no. So I cant do anything but persuade them, they legit said the rudest things. They said that I cant ever sleep in anyone of my schoolmates' houses because everyone there cant be trusted, they said my school had a bad reputation and everyone is immoral except me. At this point, I imagined all the parents including my bestfriend's who treated me so nicely when I went to their homes, and my parents are directly bashing them without any information. But there's something worse...
After that, I told them that I have already proven that my friend's arent stereotypes. Then what did they say? "You're friend is gay, you'll be sleeping under one blanket and I know he'll do dirty things on you! He's a fag."
Ok, before i rage, let me give you a few infos. I'm 17, my bestfriend's 16. The reason why they think he's gay is only because he acts childish. He hasnt matured yet, making him too polite. I've done everything to make them proud, I have a high position at a religious organization, my grades are all the highest, and i have treated them with upmost respect...
I knew if I raged, I would've made everything worse, so i just killed off one of the characters of the book im writing to express my feelings. Please help me, I texted my bestfriend and he told me we can try to make it before our teacher arrives, at 6 in the morning... So I went here and typed out my grief instead. (link)
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Let me just say that your absolutely right to feel the way you do right now and theres no arguing that.
Your parents are very narrow minded, and because they are a couple AND most likely very religious from what it sounds like, they naturally will re-enforce each others closed minded theories on simple things like spending the night at a friends. It might not even be about all that, it might be just that they wouldnt be able to monitor and control you who knows.
Its really sad that they cant trust YOU enough to be able to take care of yourself SHOULD something like that happen if they are so sure of it (and i would mention that) their basically telling you that they dont trust your judgement at all and that you cant make your own choices as a person even though you are almost 18. I wonder how they expect you to be able to care for yourself as a man once you get older if you cant even be trusted to take care of yourself NOW? interesting isnt it?....
I would ask them things like this (in a calm manner of course)
They arent "protecting" or "preventing" anything from happening to you by doing what they are doing because if this young man WERE the way they claim and youve already been hanging out with him then something would have happened by now wouldnt it have?? and it hasnt so....
say things to get them to THINK for themselves, you might try talking to them about this stuff when you are alone with them separate of each other as well because one might be more dominate over the other and talking to them separate might help to break down the mental walls a little if you can say things to them ALONE that will force them to think. They arent always going to be on this earth to protect or prevent something from happening to you if your going to a school or living in an area where its bound to happen anyway right? at some point they will HAVE to step back and "have faith" that you can make your own choices and that theyve done everything they can do to raise you accordingly but now its time to back off a little and let you test your wings as a young man or else how are you ever supposed to fly?
say things like that to them, and this will over time break them down. no matter what happens STAY CALM, you cannot argue with what is right now a brick wall. Fight using logic and intelligence. cooler and collected heads and logical thinking will ALWAYS win.
If it were me i would let my parents know that ill be letting the teacher at school know about the awful things they have said about your friend and his family and that your final grade will suffer because of this and i hope that they will be prepared for the teacher, head of the school, or CPS calling them over this matter and that you wont be sparing any details of what they said either.
If they are as close minded as they are yet trying to play like they are a clean cut good religious family then this would expose them and they will no longer be able to hide behind religion, on this one.
If you DO choose to tell the teacher when asking her for some sort of extension then do it AWAY from your friend and talk to them teacher ALONE when you do it out of earshot of your friend. He doesnt need his feelings hurt by this. just tell him youll speak to the teacher alone about all this drama and see what you can get her to do. then tell her about it.
good luck.
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So, I'm in my third to last week of classes at university and for the last, maybe, two months a guy friend of mine had been asking to hang out. I commute, though and work a lot so whenever he asked me, I would always be busy. Last night, his friend was leaving his apartment and I was on campus from getting dinner with my girlfriends so I asked him if he wanted a ride back to his place since it was a long walk and it was pretty late and he said yeah. So I drove to my friend's apartment and went upstairs to get him. Our friend answered the door and he was shocked to see me there so he invited me in to which I was a) greeted by a bunch of his friends that were over and b) informed me that they all just got back from the bar a few minutes ago so he was pretty drunk. He kept telling me though that he wasn't that bad (believe me, I've known him for about two years so I believed him when he said that since I have, indeed, seen him black out drunk before). So I stayed for a little, we talked, listened to music, I haven't seen him at all that semester so it was nice to catch up. But it wasn't just he and I, since he had a lot of people over, he was working on trying to keep all of them happy and keep his apartment in one piece.
After his friends started to leave to either go back to their places or go back to the bar, he finally sat with me. Just us, people would come over and tell us bye, but he and I finally had a one on one conversation. Finally everyone left and it was just he and I in the entire apartment since his roommate was gone for the weekend. He leaned really close to my ear since music was playing and told me how happy he was that I was finally able to meet up with him after weeks of trying. He didn't even let me finish talking before he kissed me. I kissed back. It wasn't like he was trying to do anything else because after a few minutes of making out, he pulled away and said he just wanted to lay with me and cuddle so we did and continued to talk. A song I liked came on and I was singing to it and he asked if I was lying about that being my favorite song because that's one of his favorite songs too. Then a rap song came out that I knew so I rapped a part of it and he was shocked and told me how awesome I am that he didn't know I could rap (it's really only that song that I can, lol.)
After more of just talking and laying together on his bed, he kissed me again and then he pulled away and shyly smiled and buried his face in his pillow and he isn't a shy person at all so that was kind of out of the ordinary for him so I asked what that was about and he said nothing, don't worry about it, he didn't want to say. So I let it go. We talked more, I was laying on his arm while his other hand played with my hair and he was about to say something but stopped himself saying how he didn't want to say whatever it is again so I moved away from him and told him to say it. It took a couple minutes for me to finally win that one, but after him telling me he's fairly certain that I already know what he is going to say, he finally told me that he likes me. We laid there for a few more minutes and then he kissed me again and smirked and said again "I just really like you a lot."
There's a few things that make me feel like he was just being a silly drunk when he said that, because he normally doesn't get very feelings-y. His best friend that I was also supposed to take home that night (but decided to go to the bar, because he later told me that it was all a scheme for me to go to the apartment on purpose) told me that when he's drunk, he hits on everyone. He even told me when we were laying together that his body count is seventeen.
But there's a few things that make me kind of iffy about it, like when he told me his body count and I didn't say anything after, he got nervous and asked me if I looked at him differently and kept telling me he got checked three times and he's clean. It's also the fact that he told me it twice. If he was drunk and didn't mean it, or was kidding, why would he tell me twice?
I don't know. I don't think I'd do anything about it anyway, we have two weeks left in the semester and then he goes home and I go home and we live two hours away from each other.
So, my question is to obviously get your input on the subject that if he meant it or was just being drunk. And even if he was being drunk, do you think it holds true that drunk words equal sober thoughts in this situation? He wasn't drunk that he was stumbling over things but he was drunk enough that I could tell with the slur in his words and how he was acting but he was conversing well, wasn't losing train of thought or anything like that.
He is 21 and I'm 20. Thanks for any input! (link)
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so what your saying is that he was intoxicated enough to where you feel his true feelings were coming out in those moments right??
That is always a definite possibility here, when your drunk or loosened up enough to talk about matters of the heart, it tends to be true. It also depends on his personality though. Even though he said those things and they are true, is he willing to face those feelings sober to you?
I think that should be the big question here. Its your option to either ask him if all those things he said were true or not bring it up again and then see where things go after that. He might have been to tightly wound to really tell you sober so he chose now to do it.
its your choice where to take things from there. good luck.
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My boyfriend and I have been going to the same gym for quite some time but just recently (~3 months) started going out. We actually have the same model cars so I let him drive my car while we went somewhere the other day. He offered to drive since I had uncomfortable shoes on. But he was driving so slow I said "if you want you can go fast" but he SLAMMED on the gas to the floor! I said "without killing it" but dont think he heard, thank god the light turned red. Then I drove back but fast too just to show him I can too, I said I go fast too but I do it gradually without strain you see. And he knows I usually drive fast. I leaned on the gas pedal gently slowly building up speed as always. After we're in front of the house boom my car starts overheating, he put antifreeze and it made to the next morning. Next day I get stuck on the highway boiling engine, I bought it to the mechanic. He said leave it 3 days to diagnose.
I left it, I told my boyfriend hey I think you broke my car and most likely its a head gasket (no joke ~$1000) he said but you drove fast too how do you know i broke it (meanwhile he was the one that floored it with pressure which causes gaskets to blow). I said let me drive your car, and he said "no I feel like something will happen to my car now. I cant let you do that." I said "why..you're the one that broke my car not me, so you don't trust me but I trusted you with my car". I asked what if I did drive your car right now and something happened, he said he would want me to pay half and said I think that's what you want me to do. Later we argued and I said "Maybe I didnt even want to drive your car now, maybe I was just testing you, now I see what i had to." And he got mad he said "oh so you're just playing mind games with me, I hate that sh**, I'm not going to answer and feed your mind games" and for 6 days he still didn't ask or write while I'm living hell. Before I said that he was like "well let me know what the mechanic says", but now nothing!
Who do you think is at fault for killing the car, who should pay how much if it is a 1000 gasket? I really feel that he should pay at least half but have a feeling he really won't and I'm pretty sure we are through. My mechanic will call pretty soon and I dont know what to do or say. I've been sick and nauseous for days over emotional distress. Please help. (link)
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Well heres the thing about cars, him driving the car fast may have been a tipping point for your car having blown a head gasket but YOU still drove it last on the freeway. Theres alot of variables in this whole situation that i would personally need answered before i could say whos fault it REALLY was.
Technically you drove it last right? so even though you wernt straining the car like he was the night before, you still caused it. sorry but thats the truth. Not only that but you didnt say how many miles are on the car, what kind of car it is, how OLD it is, nothing. so theres no way to definitively give you a logical answer for this.
If the car was close to ten years old and you hadnt had a major over haul or major tune up where the mechanic could tell you, "hey this and this should be changed soon just so you know" and you drove around only getting basic preventive maintenance done on the car then theres no way to blame him because maybe he took better care of his car then you do up to this point.
He must have hit the gas pretty hard for this to have happened, and then you stressing the car after that too probably didnt help either just to try to prove something. Not if the car is aging and you normally dont drive like that.
If you dont have a race car engine, dont drive like you do, the engine is weak and not meant for the kind of driving youve described here so basically you asked for this to happen. not to sound cruel or mean but standard 4 door sedans that do only regular city and highway driving arent meant for what could only sound here like drag racing type driving.
BUT since youve provided no details about the type of car it is, this is probably why youve gotten no kind of answers from anyone else but me because theres no way to answer this in a helpful manner.
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How i gonna convince him to have a sex with me even she dont know me (link)
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You should be trying to "convince" anyone to have sex with you, thats not only dishonorable as a person but low.
Try ACTUALLY dating her or getting to know her. At least get into "the friends zone" first before trying something like that.
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17/M
Hey Guys. So I was wondering should I call her or text her at exactly 12 midnight on her birthday?? Or should I do it in the morning? Oh and this is the same girl in my previous question.. (link)
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Theres totally nothing wrong with doing that, i think its a great idea and i actually do it to my friends and family quite often! haha
; )
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My paternal grandfather's great great grandparent (my great x4 grandparent) was a king, and my maternal grandmother's grandfather (my great x2 grandparent) was a king of another place. Is that normal or just a throwaway tidbit? My family is recognized by both ruling families today, but it's not like my siblings and I are any close to being in line for power or anything. I'm not sure how to feel about it. I know when you go back in time a lot of people are probably related to royalty but this wasn't too long ago and I don't get why my parents never told this to me til now. So what would you think if someone told you this about their ancestry? I'm not trying to put royals on a pedestal, but they're more likely to be written about than average people, so it interests me from an anthropological standpoint. But I think all that blue blood stuff is nonsense, we all have the same blood. (link)
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Yes the other poster has a very good point of view here. There are alot of people who are living descendants of important people, or people who managed to single handedly turn the tide of a war that was written about in our history books.
Ill give you some examples here:
Im hawaiian, spainish, and white (the white being germany and canadian)
My hawaiian family lived on a large plantation in oahu where they raised pineapple and sugar cane, and were one of the biggest suppliers of sugar to the united states and helped the supply the 'C&H' sugar company basically become what it is today. As well as the 'dole' fruit company for their canned pinapples. I can almost promise you that if youve ate any canned pineapples before 1994 they most likely came from my families plantation. ; )
my Spainish side: my grandfather was the ill-legit child of a royal family in spain. he was the result of a union a man had with a maid in the household. He was well cared for because this man loved him but he basically NEVER met his father because he was a secret, and was sent to boarding schools far away his whole life until he came to america.
My German side: My grandfather was (and im hate to admit this) part of the machine that was the nazi rule. He was the result of the teen summer camps of arian children who were personally selected to have "the look" they wanted aka tall white, with blue eyes and blonde hair.
My great grand father owned a tavern where nazi's paid him to hold large scale events there and COULD have made a ton of money but he chose to leave and flee to canada and then to the US to get away from what he had heard at the time was 'ethnic cleansing' and he did where he then served this country and fought against them as a gunner.
Now does all this make me royalty?? hmmm i dont think so because there are no realms to be had and no crown to try to claim.
I was slowly told this stuff about my family tree from about 10 years old and on. I was left to my own devices to find out most of these things and luckily i did. Im now the historian for my family and im proud of THAT. not that i am one of the only living descendants of a royal line of a family in spain, or of the nazi party, or a hawaiian plantation that supplied what is now one of Americas biggest sugar companies.
It is important to be YOU and always remember and preserve the memory of our ancestors but not to use it to bolster yourself, because of the choices those people made and of who they were and what they did with the time they had on this earth. ; )
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I want to know three things:
1. Is she missing me or thinking about me?
2. Is there a chance I can get her back?
3. Why is she acting so mean to me
My girlfriend left me after two years and 3 months out of nowhere and her reason was "she didn't have feelings anymore" Later on her mom told me that she still loved me, she just needed to be free for right now. Yet she is already interested in another guy and is treating me like a complete stranger. She also threw a bunch of my stuff that I ever gave her away and blocked me from communication (text). Now that I realize the only problem in our relationship was that we were never separated, basically around each other for everyday without giving one ounce of space. People say to me, they don't know why she is going to this extreme and many tell me I treated her amazingly. She is in high school and I'm in college. I just want to keep fighting for this girl because she is special to me and people know that. Thank You for your advice. (link)
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Im sure shes thinking about you alot theres no doubt about that, even close friendships that have ended suddenly dont just STOP thinking about each other come on, be realistic here. People who are a big part of you life dont just vanish from your memory just because you stop talking to each other.
I dont know if theres a chance you can get her back because we dont know where she is mentally right now, if your the only guy she shes ever been with and shes feeling like shes free then she may try out a few guys here and there and discover that (if you were in fact really good to her) she should come back to you because there arent many guys like you. So hang in there and see if she'll eventually wake up and if you let her know that your always within reach to just talk then that'll be your chance to work your way back in with her.
I dont know why shes acting mean, if theres a problem she has with you and didnt get talked about because of lack of communication then YEAH shes gonna be mean. but deep down she knows exactly what shes doing and knows its probably not right and will wake up one day and see that it wasnt and regret it if you really were a good guy to her. The thing here is that, that is HER lesson to learn, not YOUR lesson to suffer through. Dont blame yourself because someone else doesnt want to admit something to you or work through things, if you made an honest attempt then you did the best you could and the ball is in her court now.
Its nice that her mother feels so comfortable with you that shes willing to tell you how she thinks her daughter still feels about you but theres a limit to her creditably there because she only knows so much about whats in her childs heart when it comes to you. Maybe you could make sure that she knows that you really appreciate her trying to make you feel better and all and that youll always be here if her daughter tells her she regrets anything that happened between you and here and that she CAN come back and talk to you because your open to talking and working through things.
I live by the phrase "you cant fix it if you dont know whats wrong"
This also applies to relationships, if she doesnt tell you whats wrong then how can you adjust and accommodate yourself to her needs accordingly?? no one is a mind reader.
i dont know how old you two are but it sounds pretty immature and juvenile to brake up with someone so spontaneously for such a reason.
good luck
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Lately, I've looked at other girls and realized I'm not as pretty as they are. I have thick frizzy long hair, it's kinda a dirty blonde, pale skin, and my face seems plain. My dad doesn't let me wear makeup (even though I'm almost 17) so I look ridiculously awful. Can anyone give me any fashion tips on how to look pretty naturally for my face and hair please? And please don't say Im beautiful just the way I am, because I want to change my look more than anything. And any tips for hair straightening? My mom won't let me use a relaxer, and it takes forever to straighten my hair, and I can't ever seem to do it right. I also have to do it myself because my mom claims going to the hair stylist is "a waist of money" (link)
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Ok, well it sounds like your parents are determined not to allow you to altar your image too much so there really isnt much you can do about that. what you could do is if you make an allowance you could go and buy some natural make up thats not too far off your own color and wear that and maybe if you have to keep your make up at school in a locker or at a trusted friends house?
You COULD save up the money and go and buy relaxer and have a friend do it when your staying over at a friends house one weekend, but other then that the only thing that will help is a high heat flat iron.
you could also try this product i use by Loreal called 360 go clean. it comes in a smallish bottle you can get it at walmart or target and its clears skin of dirt and black heads and works really good. it even comes with a little rubber reusable facial scrubber that you can use in the future for other facial products.
it doesnt cost too much and has almost instant results (dont over use it or it will dry your skin out) then also buy a facial moisturizer, this will help alot, it has sunscreen in it which is REALLY important these days and its MEANT for delicate skin on your face (something you can argue if your parents give you problems over it)
It sounds like for right now youll have to ease your parents into the ideal of you growing up and trying to find yourself. Not all parents are use to that and they have trouble excepting it at first so a slow change over time from you will probably help them in the long run to realize your getting older now and they need to ease up. A sudden over night change will scare and anger them so take it one step at a time.
work on making your skin look good first before you try make up, and when you do take it slow buy foundations and colors that are close to your natural color so you dont alarm your parents when you walk in to the door from being out. If they say something act like you dont know what their talking about and that "oh my friend did it! dont i look nice?!?" and smile. they may not want to let you dont by not being encouraging and happy for you.
going to a stylist COULD BE a waste of money depending on what your trying to do, and if your mom feels you havent tried other avenues yet to control your hair. She may not have seen or heard more about the way you feel about it so she may be thinking that this is a supr of the moment "teenager" thing and that your following a fad that will die off and then regret what you did with your hair. Maybe you could try asking her for suggestions on what you could do because your really at your wits end with your hair and its just "not you" and you dont feel comfortable in your own skin with hair like that anymore, "its out of control and hard to maintain" ; )
then if she does come up with ideas that you dont like just say you feel like thats not going to work with you. you could also try to appeal to her practical side, if the hair is thick and hard to maintain then it needs to get cut and altered so that you can feel ok with it.
good luck ; )
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If it wasnt for his girlfriend... I wouldnt have known. My bestfriend of three years (we're both boys by the way) told her that he found a new bestfriend and that she could never tell me. She was enraged at him, so she told me about the replacement. I talked to him and he admitted. I cried a river and he told me these exact words "Alam mo na na mangyayari to. Pwede ba, wag mo nang dagdagan problema ko." (You should've expected this. Please, I have too much problems for your drama) What should I do?
M (link)
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This is difficult to answer because we dont know how the friendship between you was, or if your friend was feeling already like he was tired of you but didnt feel like cutting things off yet.
By the way he said "you should have expected this" it sounds like he was already "done" with you and just didnt tell you, which is very unfair to do to someone whos supposed to be a friend but there seems to be a huge difference these days of what is considered to be a "friend" and what is not. Sometimes people who have never really had a good friend before or dont have good people/communication/understanding skills will not be able to REALLY be a friend and try to work through whatever issues it is you might between each other. Alot of times people will just cut off contact totally even after being friends for YEARS, this just depends on the person.
The best thing you can do is move on and make new friends, if your friend really cared about you he wouldnt have just bluntly did what he did. to ME that says "i never really cared about you in the first place".
i hope you can find a new friend who will care about you more.
good luck
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I am seeking to compile a listing for my website http://www.FoolQuest.com , of available resources and support specifically pertinent to the most embryonic "kitchen table" inception stage or phase of entrepreneurial start up in innovative new venture creation, all from scratch. Any suggestions? This seems to be something underserved in the market and in the literature. (link)
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This sounds like spam to me. My husband is a senior computer software engineer/programmer/day stock trader/ as well as en entrepreneur and says this is spam and a scam and doesnt look legit at all.
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It happened for the first time in my life today, and I go to Wal-Mart probably more than any other store. I feel offended. Wal-Mart is not like Costco, where workers always check receipts, so I feel like I was discriminated. I was taken aback, I thought the greeter was just going to say "good-bye" like they normally do, but then he asked me to show my receipt for literally $7 worth of items, in bags. I did self-checkout and then walked to the other side of the store, because it was heavily raining and I wanted to be closer to my car. I've done that a lot, actually, and never envisioned that could potentially come across as suspicious. But then the guy says I could have just somehow snuck in items and eluded all of the other Wal-Mart employees that would have seen me from the self-check out area all the way to the other side of the store. If that ever happens to me again, in any store in where receipt showing is not routine, I'll say to only show my receipt to them at the line for returns, and then vow to never again visit their location. Is this a fair response? I was wearing gym clothes, but I didn't look sloppy. I don't see why I would be singled out without any probable cause, but the assumption by the worker that I inherently would think to steal $7 worth of items, based on thin air. I work and have a clean criminal record. Unless that employee asks every single person who walks out that door to show their receipt, how is it not discrimination? Do I have any grounds to complain to a manager? I'd like to know that specific chain's policy. It's one way or the other. Either it makes sense they should ask all people to show their receipts, or they should ask nobody, unless there is actual probable cause other than some kind of random stereotype pulled out of that greeter's ass. (link)
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I can definitely understand that guy feeling of the person at the door stopping you for what seems like a stupid reason, but it likely was not even about you. They were probably told there has been more theft at our location then usual and to just check people a little more closely.
So maybe they told anyone that didnt exit the door closest to where the register was at should probably be checked just to make sure that on their way through the store after having bought something that they didnt slip anything else in their bag then they should have.
Its totally understandable but you have to try to not take it personally, if you didnt do anything wrong then theres nothing to fear, nothing to be ashamed of, or embarrassed by and if anything (if they were trying to catch you stealing and they were wrong) then THEY are the ones that would look stupid infront of everyone for trying to act like you did something you didnt do.
Try not to be too ruled by your emotions when it comes to certain things like this. it was momentary and the poor schmuck working the door was just told to do that, and their just trying to earn a paycheck to keep food on their table. ; )
it was nothing really.
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My boyfriend and I had sex on April 9th but all throughout the weekend I was spotting because he popped my cherry. How long does the bleeding suppose to last? Do I suppose to get my period this month after the spotting stops? And we used perfection and I'm on bc pills but the birth control was used for other reasons for two years. Will that help prevent pregnancy by using both methods? (link)
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with having used both during sex, you should be fine. The issue here is that you didnt use lube and thats why your spotting now. Its a definite possibility that you might have just had rough lubricated sex and you tore a little inside. the lube isnt just for fun its also to protect you from things like this.
dont be ashamed to buy lube either.
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F/17 I have heard that after you loose your Virginity your hips get wider is that true? I also have 2 other questions after you have had intercourse I know you bleed and I want to know for how long and when does it start exactly? (link)
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no your hips do not get wider thats absolutely not true.
You may bleed a LITTLE because your hymen was stretched out or torn and it happens usually during and a little after but normally its not enough to make you have to even wear a pad.
But telling him to go slowly and using a condom and lube will make it a LOT less uncomfortable and it will lower the chance of bleeding. it he just barrels into you without lube and goes really fast then yes this will increase the chance of pain/discomfort and bleeding.
the only thing that CAN be more noticeable with being around someone after theyve experienced sex for the first few times is (with guys they seem way more relaxed,comfortable in their own skin, chill, and possibly want to be involved with more women because the hormones are raging. other then that theres no noticeable change other them MAYBE personality and views on the opposite sex.
with females, the same can be true, more relaxed, and so on.
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ive been pretty depressed for a while... i got my first bf in feb. 2014 and we broke up last week. also my frinds started fighting and hating eachother. i lost my only 5 frinds that i had made since 1rst grade. i started getting bad grades on my report cards and im getting made fun of for it. im just 10 years old but i cut myself and hav suicidal thoughts... please give me advice. (link)
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I realize that your ten years old and this can be a tough time in life right now but hurting yourself or trying to end your life in never the answer.
In your life friends that you could SWEAR youll be BFF's with will come and go through the years, because people change throughout their lives and the only REAL friends that still continue to keep in contact and your on good terms with are the people who are true friends.
For right its more important that you stay focused on school, and get your grades back up. Let those people believe whatever they want to believe and in the mean time try to make new friends, one thats will except you for who you are and not who your trying to be other then yourself.
People can only pretend for so long when it comes to being your friend and eventually you will see their true colors as a person. Be friendly but watchful especially if they have done things to other people in the past, watch out for people who act stupid and petty or jealous, those people are not real friends and who they treat other people is a reflection of how they could easily treat you if it comes down to it and they feel they have to choose.
Your life is not your friends, just be yourself and bond with other people who have the same interests with you dont try to force friendship, it will happen on its own if its meant to be. We all know you cant just walk up to a random stranger and try to be friends with them, because thats not how friendship works. lol.
youll live through this, just stay strong, keep focused on your school work because your grades are very important and ignore the stupid negative people that are hurting you, their not worth it and their probably unhappy with themselves so they wanna spread it around and make everyone else around them unhappy as well.
its unfair i know but thats how damaged or hurting people are ok, so dont let all this get you down, do YOU, and the rest will fall into place.
good luck sweetie ; )
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