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New interest started acting like a child.
I'm 23/f and I started talking to this new guy (he's 24) and we really connected we joked and there was some major sexual attraction as well. Last weekend we went on our first date and it was awkward of course but he was a perfect gentleman, but at the end of the night there was no kiss. At first I thought, no big deal, maybe he's not as into me as I imagined. Then he later informs me that he wanted to but he was too scared. So then this whole week we were texting back and forth and more and more he'll fall into this kid-like way of talking. Like I'll ask him if he had a good day at work and he'll respond with "Yeah but I'm so seepy now!" Or we'll talk about going out to dinner again and he says "Yeah can't wait to get the food in my tummy I'm hungee!" And if he has talked this way when we first met I wouldn't have tried to start any kind of relationship. I know some girls think thats cute but I'm not one of them. Last night was the nail in the coffin when I said goodnight and he responds with "Yeah I'm going to bed I'm such a sleepy puppy." It seemed like all my attraction just died. He's a sweet guy, but I don't want a puppy, I would like a man. How do I let this guy off easy? I don't want to hurt the puppy.
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I dont totally agree with dragonfly on this one. i feel if your going to cut things off at least TELL the guy what it was you didnt like. I dont think its right to leave him hanging and wondering if he did something wrong only for him to beat himself up about it because he liked you way more than you know.
I have guys friends and ive had to be there for them when a girl did that to them and i dont think its ok. When it comes to relationships, its my belief that you need to be clear and let them know what you like and dont like, just try to be nice about it.
Its better that you be honest, they usually appreciate that further down the road later and thank you for it.
Tell him you dont get the baby voice thing and thats not your thing but you appreciate him trying to be all lovey dovey and what not but he really doesnt have to do that with you.
other then that because we dont know more about him as a person thats really the only thing i can give here advice wise.
good luck.
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Hurt the puppy.
It's admirable to not want to hurt someone - no good person delights in causing pain - but the best people know that being honest is even more important than being kind.
There is no magical way to not hurt his feelings. It ALWAYS hurts a person's feelings when someone decides they just aren't into you like that - even if you weren't into them either, it still hurts!
So, hurt the puppy. Don't go out of your way to make it hurt more, but give yourself permission to do the right thing. Doing the right thing is going hurt him. Be clear, but kind. Be clear first. Then kind.
Tell him you just aren't feeling the romantic connection. Don't ask to be friends unless you truly wish to be friends. If you are just ready for this to be at an end, tell him that.
Dragonfly's suspicion that he's 'hiding something' is simply bizarre to me. This is the beginning! If he thought this behaviour was something to hide, he would have hidden it for far longer than a few days! This is probably who he is, and what he thinks is cute. The idea that it means something is up is just weird. The most likely explanation is simply that this is his communication style. If you want to ask him to stop, then go ahead and ask him to stop, but I'd caution against treating him like he's some sort of liar or sicko because of it. This is not a window into is soul, and you are not in any position to psychoanalyze him. It's more than a bit insulting to go making assumptions about someone sexual preferences, gender identity or mental health, based merely on a communication style and the fact he didn't make a move on the first date!
I wouldn't find this behaviour appealing either - but I'd never go so far as too make those sorts of assumptions about a person. That is unkind.
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My guess is he's hiding something. Either he already has another woman and he was enjoying attention from another female on the side but not so far as cheating on her sex wise, or he may be a virgin, bi sexual, fluid gender, or some other sexual related thing he's afraid of any woman finding out thinking it would be a deal breaker instantly, or who knows what other scenerio.
If he liked baby talk, he'd have probably done it form the beginning if thats who he really is.
So if you dont want to break up without knowing what really is the issue here, then ask him. But you have to ask questions first. Most people don't volunteer info and need to be asked but not many are asking.
For example, have you asked him why he's even doing baby talk now when he didn't in the beginning. Did you ask him to explain further on his fear issues, like has he ever kissed anyone before or had sex? He's acting there like a 12 yr old boy wanting his first kiss but too afraid to make the move. The only thing he is voluntarily offering is baby talk and reminding you every night that he is sleepy. That is not the talk of a man with a normal sex drive. I wouldn't be too surprised if there are some mental issues originally or emotional problems due to physical ones he's embarassed about. For all we know, he could be like another TV show personality "Adrian Monk" the inspector who had many extreme fears. Its possible, a fear of germs from trading saliva. I knew a gal at work for whom just the thought of a fork or spoon having previously been in someone elses mouth, grossed her out, and she had never kissed a guy even though in her twenties. The only way you can know anything is to ask, in case he was bold enough to tell you. Otherwise, all you can say is, "Hey, I'm just not feeling the chemistry I felt at first. It must have been a case of just New relationship energy. Sorry, but I wish you the best and I'm gonna move on."
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