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My name is Elly and I am 18 years old. I live in Michigan and I graduated High School in '07. I'm currently attending a great college, but I'm home for the summer. It's too nice outside to sit on the computer all day, so I might not be as active on here as I would like.I guess a good way to describe me is experienced. I've discovered a lot about life and I can't wait to discover more... while having fun at the same time of course! ...BUT, like everyone, I have experienced things in life that I rather wish I hadn't. And I also feel that those bad experiences qualify me to help others with this column.
I have been in a serious relationship for over two and a half years now. I personally know that love is a difficult thing to nurture. It takes a lot of work. Life is NOT a fairytale where two people can simply love each other and everything will just fall into place. It doesn't work like that in the real world.
People on Advicenators are starting to disappoint me. Everyone says "ooh I want to help! I've experienced EVERYTHING!" Yet, I can't tell you how many questions I see with answers like "you could have googled that" or "we're not going to do your homework" or "I'm so sick of 'wow does he like me?!' questions." I used to sort of be like that, but now I realize how hypocritical that is. If I know the answer to a question, I will answer to the best of my ability without making you feel stupid for asking it in the first place. Advicenators is going to turn into a pretty nasty place if people just keep brushing off questions like that.
Rate or don't rate. I really don't care. But don't give me a 1 just because I tell you something you don't want to hear. Go to your mom for advice if you want sugarcoated answers.
I can give excellent advice on:
relationships/sex
friendship
family issues
anything about animals (i worked at a vet for several years)
college
advice
I'm a teenage girl who has way more maturity than any other teenager you'll meet. I suffer from depression, and well everyone in my town is a shallow preppy conceited betch who only cares about their nails/hair/clothes/etc.
The problem is i just choose not to obsess over that inane stuff (to a certain extent- It's not like I disregard my appearance completely) and people think that's really weird.
I'm a thespian and musical theater is all I care about.
Why am I the only person in the world who has REAL values, and would rather spend time doing something REAL, like musical theater, instead of just doing something inane like shopping?
I cry about it all the time.
everyone asks me "what are you so sad about?" and i never know what to say. :(
-EDIT-
Sorry for offending you, but that's what I believe. Don't call me bitchy. I didn't say you were bitchy. I'm just trying to be honest. That's what real advice is. Besides, if I was "just like them," why would I care about poverty and world hunger?
You aren't the only person in the world with "real values." What you fail to realize is that those people that value materialistic things do so to shield themselves from the real world. They feel that as long as they have money to buy themselves nice things, the rest of the world must be okay too. They live in a surreal world where everything is seemingly perfect, when it's far from it. Musical theater does the same thing for you. You most likely feel that as long as you have it in your life, everything is better.
Not to be rude, but you aren't any different. You putting theater before everything else is just like them putting clothes before everything else. If you think musical theater is a value, then that's your opinion. Other people are entitled to their opinions. Some people really think looking nice is a value. They're allowed to think that.
I understand that musical culture is really important, but, honestly, it's not going to solve any really big problems like poverty or world hunger. Musical theater is a great thing, yes, but it's not the most important thing in the world. You want to make a difference? Get your theater friends together and start a food drive. During your shows, put out cans for donations to the poor. I don't know what kind of town you live in, but maybe you and your friends can go around and get kids interested in music so they'll stay off the streets and out of trouble.
Start helping people while doing the things you love and I guarantee you'll be 100% happier. Your positive influence will affect everyone around you, including those materialistic people. You can make a difference.
Ok Ive put this under mental health, cos thats what Im supposing it is..
Well where do I start... Since I can remember, Ive noticed Ive been doing some really strange things, mostly which are coming out now..if Im walking along the street, I tend to roleplay something over and over in my head, and sometimes Ill end up speaking it out loud.
If see a car, ill imagine a whole crash, and sometimes if I pass a car park, Ill pick whichever car I would have if I could have any.
Theres lots of strange things like that, sometimes Ill breath ot the beat of a tune, or Ill just imagine some really strange stuff. Its hard to explain.
I told a friend for the first time last night, he suggested it being that Im intelligent and my mind is under worked, so now its over active?
But Im more worried about it being serious. I suffer from panic attacks aswell, just incase that helps.
If you could just give me an idea of what you think, dont diagnose me with everything under the sun, with panic attacks, Ill diagnose myself with whatever you tell me Ive got, I dont want that :)
Thanks!
It sounds to me like you just have an overactive imagination. I do that stuff sometimes too. A big imagination is nothing to worry about. The smartest people have big imaginations. You'll never be bored, that's for sure.
I think the panic attacks are something different. Perhaps you're just easily stressed and get over-worried about things. I don't think it's anything serious, but to be safe, talk to your doctor.
i got my period like just now. so theres no chance of pregnacy right? even tho i had sex like 3 hours before i got my period.
Sorry this took awhile to answer, I was at work.
Since egg fertilization can happen up to 72 hours after sex, there is still a chance you coudl be pregnant, even if you did start your period.
Trust me, sweetie. You need to get a pregnancy test.
do you think that this is anything major? i dont even know if he did cum. there was absolutly NOTHING in the condom. like not even a drop.
Even if he didn't cum, there's no doubt that there was pre-cum, which you can still get pregnant from.
If you aren't on birth control, this is something major.
You said in your question that you guys did it twice. Did he use a condom both times? Did he cum the first time but not the second?
Getting checked won't kill you. It's better to find out now rather than convince yourself that it's not a big deal and then wind up with a baby you can't take care of.
my period is never the same. & yes it hurt, he was big. & i was in ALOT of pain after words.
Just to be on the safe side, I would def. assume that the bleeding is not from your period and it's from a cut. If it doesn't stop bleeding within the next 12 hours, go see a doctor and make sure it's not serious. The pain is normal because, like I said, you're not fully developed. The next time you have sex, make sure to have your partner go slow so your vagina can adjust to the stretching and you hopefully won't bleed next time.
Get a pregnancy test just to be safe. Assume the worst and get checked.
im 14/f. my bf and i have been going out for almost 2 years. he is really cute and funny and everyone likes him... including half the girls at our school. he loves to be the center of attention and flirts with girls all the time. i dont like it but ive gotten used to it and i try not to let it bother me. after all, hes going out with me, not them, right? anyway, the problem is, his flirting makes girls think he likes them and they flirt right back. one time he actually cheated on me, and everyone said i should dump him, but he cried and begged me to forgive him and said he really loved me, so i forgave him. now hes started flirting with that same girl a lot again. im pretty sure they really like each other, even though he denies it. he insists that he loves me more than anything in the world and doesnt want to break up. but i cant stand it when he talks to her or when i hear about him flirting with her. agggghhhh!! what should i do?
It's time to confront your boyfriend once and for all. Tell him straight up that he needs to choose between you and that girl. If he's "SO SORRY" then why is he even still talking to her? If I were you, I wouldn't have even given him a second chance. Once a cheater always a cheater. If he really cared about you, he wouldn't be spending all his time flirting with other girls.
Tell him right away that if he doesn't stop talking to that girl then you're breaking up with him to find a guy that actually respects and appreciates your love.
i was having sex with this guy. he left the condom here & when he left i went to throw it out and there was a hole not at the tip but alittle more on the side. i dont know if he came. there wasnt any in the condom. & i would be able to tell if he did inside me right ? well after the first time we waited like an hour and went again but i started bleeding i dont know if it was my period but it wasnt my cherry cause thats been poped. it wasnt just alittle scratch it was coming from my vagina. its most likly my period. but im worried about pregnancy. im only 15. should i buy a test even if this is my period ?
It's hard to tell whether he came inside you or didn't. Even though your hymen as been torn, there is still the possibility of bleeding after sex because you are still young and your body isn't fully developed.
First things first, call the guy you had sex with and ask him if he came inside you or not. Explain that there was a hole in the condom and you need to know. He may or may not lie to you, but it won't hurt to ask.
While you were having sex, did it hurt at all? If you experienced any discomfort whatsoever, then the bleeding could be from a small tear in your vagina wall. Are you about due for you period anyway? Are your periods usually at the same time each month? If the bleeding doesn't stop within a day or so, see a doctor to confirm if it's a cut or your period. It really depends. You know your body better than anyone else.
In the end, you should get a pregnancy test within the next couple weeks, jsut to be sure. I would recommend going on birth control so you won't have to worry about this in the future.
So basically I had the worst birthday last year and this year I decided to celebrate my birthday alone. I'm not sad anyways, I'm pretty much a hermit.
Anyways I'm just asking what would be some indoor activities to do to celebrate my birthday?
It's in two weeks and I'm turning fifteen.
I already have a DVD marathon planned because I'm getting 2 DVDs of my favourite tv show for my birthday.
Thanks guys =]
Just do nice things for yourself. Go to the mall and buy yourself something you've been wanting to get.
Take a long bubble bath while listening to your favorite music. Read a book that you enjoy.
Lie in the sun, listen to music, and relax.
Just do things that make you happy and relaxed. Turn off your cell phone so you won't be bothered during the day.
I am 16 years old and I just got this new boyfriend. He is super nice and a really talented musician. I dont find him physically attractive at all actually. But his personality, humour, and talent make up for it. I like him, I really do. But I feel really akward being around him when it is just the two of us. I am trying to cope with it but it doesnt seem to be working. I dont want to break up with him because people are telling me that he really likes me. They tell me that me going out with him is the best thing ever for him because he is sobering up. He used to be into drugs and alcohol and smoking but now that he is going out with me...he has stopped doing all of that. I like how much he has changed but I still feel akward being with him. I dont want to break up with him! Is there anything else I can do? If so then please help me. I would really appriciate it. Thx in advance.
Things are awkward because you probably rushed into the relationship and barely know each other. If you aren't happy in this relationship, don't lie to yourself or the guy. It will just make things worse. Break up with him, but insist you remain friends (maybe with benefits if things get better between you two?).
This awkardness can be fixed by being friends first. You need to get to know each other and have fun. Go bowling. To the movies. Putt putt golfing. Go out for ice cream. Go swimming. Just have fun together. After you do that, it will be a lot easier to be alone with him.
Once you have done all that, THEN you can decide if you want a relationship with him. Trust me, you'll feel better by doing so.
i get angry with little things really easily now i didnt used to be like this only been like it for about 3 weeks now. lets just use this as an example i play a game i die once its the first of my deaths in any game i played so far. i get really pissed and slam the keyboard... sad i know but i cant help it i just feel it. i get angry real easy now like the other day i was asked to do sumin by a freind and i got well shitty and was just being an asshole now i dont like her at all fer no reason and i got no idea wtf is up or how i can at least fix it and get back to normall and get some freinds back. i'm not a stubborn person i will admit when i am wrong but at the moment i just feel like hell and angry with anythin that doesnt go right
Hey. I've been there. Hell I still go there sometimes. I know exactly how you feel. Here's a few things that might help:
-Before you get out of bed each day, sit up and cross your legs and just fold your hands in your lap. Make sure you're sitting up straight so you can get proper air flow. Close your eyes and don't think about anything. Take really deep breaths. In for 4 counts and out for 6 counts really slowly. Do this for about ten minutes before you get up and start your day. You'll be a lot calmer. I guarantee it.
-Eat healthier foods. I don't know what your eating habits are, but a lot of junk food won't make you any less angry. By eating some healthy food every now and then, I've found that it makes me feel better about my self, thus boosting my self-confidence, making me happier, and therefore I am less angry over things.
-Whenever you feel yourself getting angry over something silly, like a game or a dispute with a friend, stop and think. Ask yourself, "Is this really going to matter a year from now? Is this important enough to get mad over?" You'll find that the simplest things you get mad over aren't even a big deal and you'll be able to control your anger a lot better.
I really hope this helps. I just know these tips help me when I get anger bursts. Good luck!
15/f
Is it worth it to wait till I'm done high school to start dating again?
I got this idea from my friend, since most guys in high school ( in mine/hers anyway ) are absolute idiots, whether it be logically, academically, or just in general.
Who says you have to date only the guys that go to your school? Instead of looking for guys at school, look for them at the mall, at other schools, at the bowling alley, anywhere.
Yes, a lot of guys your age are immature, but not all of them. Give the good ones a chance.
Go out there and meet new people. Make friends with people in different schools and go to some of their parties. Even if you don't find anyone to date, you'll make lots of great new friends.
You don't HAVE to wait until high school is over to start dating, but don't give up on it just because the guys you know are immature. I promise they're not all like that.
Ok im 14 and a female and i need a dress for my brothers graduations, and i wanna amke sure i get the right one
I have Hazel Eyes and light brown hair with like blonde highlights and its curly, i have chubby legs so i want it like knee lenght and im fat in the stomach so what color should i look for in a dress and and desigh like a stripe right below the breast or i donno anything but im going to the dress barn so and im ganna get something with cleavge cuz thats the best part about me so what should i look for in a dress
Black is the best color if your trying to conceal your "chub." There are lots of simple black dresses that will give you nice cleavage and will make you look much thinner.
You can always add a bit of color with accessories. If you want a stripe below the breast, you could tie a thick sash around you. Add some matching earrings and crazy shoes and you're good to go.
alright so my road test is tomorrow and im freaking out im so nervous is there any advice anyone can get me.. so im sure i wont make any mistakes
Just always be looking around. Constantly move your eyes around the road and look for things. Pratice your parking right before the road test and you'll do great.
I don't know if this will work for you, but during my road test, my mom came with me and she was in the backseat talking to the test-giver the entire time. They had a bunch of conversations and the test-giver didn't even have a chance to ask me stuff like "What would you do if a car was heading toward in this lane" It was funny and having my mom there talking with the test-giver made it less nerve-racking.
In the end, you just need to be positive. Tell yourself "I can do this. Piece of cake." It works. Trust me.
why do guys always hit on u by sayin " heyyyy shawty" or sumthin unintelligent like this is there a way to stop this from happenin to me when i go to the local store
If a guy tries to get your attention by saying something like that, he isn't worth a minute of your time. It's totally immature and he probably just thinks your hot.
You can't exactly stop them from saying those things, but you can just ignore them. Or you could think of something to snap back at him like "hey fatty" or something like that. The guy will want to continue to tease you just because you're not interested unfortunately. They're stupid like that I guess.
Next time you go out, bring some friends with you for support and just do your own thing and ignore those guys.
My boyfriend and I had sex. I noticed however, the condom was a tad bit to big. I'm almost positive we'll have sex again, but I want him to have a condom that fits right. How should I tell him he needs a smaller condom without making him feel bad about himself, or his.. um.. size ? Also, how do you buy a box of condoms that are the right size ? It's not like you can try them on.. haha =)
Thanks !!
Everyone else had great answers, but I just wanted to add that all condoms have extra room at the head for the seeman. If the condom was too big on him, it would literally fall off of him. Don't worry if there's a little extra room at the head if that's all it is.
If he gets insecure about his size, all you have to do is remind him it doesn't matter because he makes you feel great. Just compliment him and comfort him and he'll feel better about it.
Yeah, I'm only in 7th grade and my grades are already slipping. Last quarter I got straight A's.. Now that it's the end of the school year I've been slacking on my work and the teachers are piling it on us since they don't have much time to get it done. I'm getting my midterms Friday and I already know I have 2 D's... I've never received any grade lower than a B so I'm really disappointed. There's only 20 days left of school and I need to improve and work my but off. But lately,I've been procrastinating when I never used to.. How can I keep up with all my work and get my D's up to at least B's?
Thank you so much =)
Make sure you're always paying attention in class. Take good notes. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you don't understand.
Ask your teachers for a review, if they haven't given you one, so you can study for your midterms.
Ask your teachers if there's an extra credit project you can do.
From now on, when you have homework, make sure to do it AS SOON as you get home from school, so you'll still be in "school" mode. Just get it done and don't put it off or you won't feel like doing it later.
I need your help deciding what the ideal menu for a public dinner would be.
Not knowing what would be the best dishes to serve is making this an impossible task.
If you will tell me your favorite foods, or point me to your favorite recipes, it would really help a lot.
You can list as many things as you like. They don't have to be fancy things at all. I am all about the comfort food baby! :)
This will be a mixed group of people so I would like to have something for everyone.
Cooking for a banquet is not as hard as trying to figure out WHAT to cook!
Everyone will receive feedback.
Thank you!
P.S. If all that was a lot to digest, pun intended, here is a summary: Please list all your favorite foods.
Chicken, chicken, and chicken. Oh yea and chicken... :) AND SPAGHETTI! LOVE spaghetti!
Other good things are:
+salad of course (esp. chicken salad lol)
+some type of potato whether it be fries, mashed, or a baked potato
+apple sauce!
+CHICKEN pot pie
+peas and corn!
+stuffing
+steak
+seafood salad (noodles, crab, shrimp, etc.)
+garlic bread
+rolls
One yummy food I like to make is a stuffed steak. You roll up a ball of stuffing, maybe the size of your fist, wrap it with thin, juice pieces of steak and then you hold it together by wrapping pieces of bacon around it. I like it!
Cheesy potato casserole with potato chips mixed in is really good too.
Thank you so much for your advice [i had the LONG uestion sabout the guy that i like and he likes me back but i feel like he doesnt try for me and i do alotta things first...]
i acutally hung out with him on friday and he, not meanly, said....IM MAD AT YOU! and i said why! and he said....you dont call me anymore! so it hink hes just older and more of not the big "texter or aim person" and to be honest...i think the phone is a better way of talking and communicating too...and when we were walking and talking he said "im an honest person and i wannabe honest with you...i feel like youre not interested in me..."
and i was feeling the same towards him...
i think i just reaLIZED that he did call me in the beginning a good amount of times nad i may have text a lot and that little stuff but calls are more significant and i never really called a lot....and i realized that the more i call adn make him see how i care and like him a lot...the more hell do back because its really a joint effort...
i always wanna call but my problem is......i HATE the phone
im scared of awkward silences and im scared of being boring...i also would hate to catch him at a wrong time like when hes with his friends or doing something...i just dont know what to say or talk about adn i dont wanna be boring...i wanna have him enjoy talking to me and enjoy having a convo with me on the phone...im so freaked about being boring and stuff....id call way more if i was one of those girls who haev that phone confidence....its a big big problem for me.......
ive tried so much to "go with the flow" and stuff like that but i always feel like im so boring....idk what to do!
i want to call him more andshow him that yes i do wanna talk to him adn yes i am VERY interested in him so much but i have my little phone problem.....can you give me any advice/help with that?
When you first call him, ask what he's up to and make sure he's not busy. If he is, say something cute like, "Aww man! I guess I'll call you back at a better time!" It's polite and you won't have to worry about interrupting him.
If he can talk right then, here are some good coversations that can lead to other things to talk about:
-a movie you just saw. ask if he's seen it. if he has, talk about each other's favorite parts. if he hasn't, give him a little review and insist that you two need to go see a movie together soon.
-tell him a funny story that happened in school/work that day.
-say you called to tell him this hilarious joke you read online. laughs are always fun on the phone!
-ask him how school is going for him and if he's excited about it. ask about the classes he'll be taking and if he'll miss you while he's gone.
-swap interests. start the conversation with a "well, you know I'm interested in you. so i think the next step would be learning more about you." and then you guys can talk about each other's lives, things you like to do, and just get to know each other.
-i don't know what your hobbies are, but, for example, say you write poetry. call him and say "i wrote this poem and i wanted to get your opinion on it" or something like that
Try talking about these things. Remember, if you feel the conversation starts to get boring or you run out of things to talk about, realize that phone conversations DON'T last forever. There's nothing wrong with a 10-15 minute conversation.
I don't know what to do. I met a guy awhile back at a camp and i have been chatting with him for about 4 months now. I am in love with this guy and he is in love with me. Actually we're engaged even though that sounds crazy. But anyways yesterday he told me that pretty much everything he told me was a lie except for the fact that he loves me. He said that his feelings and thoughts about me were never lies, he only lied about some poetry he gave me, because he didn't write it. And he lied about being rich and owning these cars and houses he showed me. I dont know what to do because I love him and dont want to give him up but how do i learn to retrust him? What should I do, just let him go and move on? Or give him the second chance hes asking for? Please help its tearing me apart
Some lies can be forgiven. Especially lies that are admitted. The lies he told were nothing serious. He was obviously just trying to impress him.
Most guys lie about having an STD, the number of girlfriends they've had, whether they smoke or drink, etc. Those are lies that cannot be forgiven. That's serious stuff.
What he did wasn't that big of a deal. After all, he admitted he lied. By admitting that it means he obviously wants to get to know you. The next few times you talk with him you might question whether or not it's the truth, but at least give him another chance.
What are some good brands for piccolos besides Gemeinhardts? Is Victory or Blessing good brands? I don't want to spend too much on a piccolo because it's going to be my last year. I have a Venus but one of my pads is leaking and I am not sure if I take it into Music & Arts they will be able to fix it because it's not a major brand. What do you think? Thank you. =]
Since it is your last year of band, I would say don't buy a new piccolo at all unless you're willing to go through the trouble of selling it. If Music and Arts is a good place for instrument tune-ups (I wouldn't know I've never heard of it), there's no reason why they should be able to replace or repair the pads on your piccolo. Are there any other music stores in your area that can fix it for you? I would google "piccolo repairs in 'your state'" and see what comes up.
If all else fails and you have to end up buying an inexpensive piccolo, buy a used one on ebay or look into renting one from a music store.