I am an advice hound. I love to give advice, get advice, read advice columns. I love telling people what to do ; D
Truly, I have a love for people and an honest desire to see every individual excel and succeed in their personal lives, to shed themselves of as many burdens as possible and enjoy this strange and terrible and wonderful gift that is LIFE
Location: Los Angeles
Occupation: advice guru and life coach
Member Since: June 9, 2009
Answers: 900
Last Update: February 5, 2012
Visitors: 32943
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If he doesn't tell me that she's taking him to work, is that lying? (link)
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Yes. It should make you wonder what else he's lying about.
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I was alone in a restaurant recently where I am a regular customer. A waitress, with whom I have never spoken before, came up to me and asked me if I wanted her to introduce me to some girls (!). I was thoroughly taken aback, as no one has ever walked up to me and asked me anything like that.
I had no idea how to interpret that (if she was flirting with me, why would she talk about other girls? If she wasn't, what brought that up out of nowhere?), and I responded with confusion and suspicion rather than poise, asking her what that was all about. She said it was merely "making conversation", and she said she wouldn't bother me further; this ended the interaction.
How would I have more properly handled this? What does it mean when someone approaches like that?
Thanks to all for your help. (link)
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Gosh, that's weird! The only thing I can think of is that maybe the employees there notice you there alone a lot and they think you seem sweet and it was their way of "helping" you find someone. Maybe they just designated this particular waitress to ask because she is bold enough to do it. without knowing you or them or the "tone" of it all, it sounds to me like their intentions were good. I would take it as a compliment, meaning they think you're swell and want to see such a swell guy with and equally swell girl. However, I think it was a bit too bold to approach you like that, and I would have been taken aback as well! Next time though, accept a bizarre question like that with a grain of salt and a sense of humor and simply say "thank you for the offer but I am not lonely, I just enjoy eating here by myself sometimes"....or whatever the case may be. I think it was cute, albeit inappropriate, and I wouldn't worry too much more about it.
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I left a realationship that was hard on me for a new one. i do nonthing but fight with my new bf & find myself wanting to run back to old one. i feel so confused . i wonder if maybe just being single is better? (link)
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Sounds like you've answered your own question. I'd rather be happy alone than miserable with somebody else. Take some time out to get to know who you are as an individual, without being part of a "team". Then, once you feel confident in who you are and what you have to offer the world, and another person, you'll start attracting people who are also confident, and you'll see what a joy it is to be in a relationship with someone who respects you and loves who you are as an individual. But if you feel confused about yourself, you'll only attract confusion. Its hard when you're the type that needs to be in a relationship in order to feel fulfilled, but be brave, step out on a limb and try loving yourself alone for a while. Remember, the RIGHT choices in life are almost never the EASY choices, or everyone would always do the right thing! Good luck.
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I work at itailian resturant and i get a pay check every couple of weeks but for the most of my shifts I get paid under the table. What i want to know is are the people paying doing tax fruad? (link)
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Yes! My husband was a waiter at the same place for years, and they paid him the same way. years later, when we married, we were suddenly presented with a bill from the IRS for $20,000! It was crushing, and even though it wasn't our fault, we still had to pay. Work on finding another job ASAP. If they ever get caught, it will be you that pays the biggest price.
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So, I am 18f. I have a boyfriend that is the sweetest guy I have ever met. He has a sense of humour, a great personality, and a loving heart. What I am wondering is how can I get him to try new things? I love upbeat music, dancing, sports, and art... where he loves things like hard metal, football, and horses. He hasn't said he loves me yet, but you can just tell how he feels when he is with me. I just have a hard time really connecting to him on a deeper level. Sure he is a sweet, awesome guy, but I still wonder if we are ever going to be able to connect on a different level, you know what I mean? I just think that when you find that one person and you truly love them, you should be able to connect with them, be able to tell them anything, and have that romantic spark in your relationship. I don't feel that I have that level of a relationship with him even though he is a great guy otherwise. I sometimes feel like I should be dating someone I can connect with on a deeper level. I am not going to just give him up though because I feel this way. What do you think I should do? Should I be staying with him and then if I ever find someone I can relate with better... choose that person? Please help me, thanks!
(link)
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You already know the answer to your own question. If you really do believe that he is sweet and loving, don't you want your boyfriend to have the chance to be with a girl who can also appreciate those things AND have a connection with too. You're absolutely right about feeling that connection. If you don't have it, you're just friends, and you might be missing out on "the one" by spending so much energy trying to make this relationship that should really be a friendship work. So while it may hurt the both of you, the fair and mature thing is to both move on. Believe me, when you finally DO find that connection, you'll wonder why you wasted so much time worrying about this. Good luck!
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so 19/f last semester i had a class with this really cute guy and i kind of stalked him. well he gave me his business card and i texted him and it turns out he has a girlfriend. well anyways i didn't really talk to him that much, but on facebook i apologized to him and then i deleted him from my friends because he didn't say anything so i just thought maybe he didn't care. well anyways the other day i was jamming out in my car and well lol i saw him and he saw me and looked away and smiled. and i was like hmm weird. but i didn't understand why though because i thought he hated me? and also how come he didn't say anything back to me when i apologized to him? oh and i told my friend who was also in that class with us what happened and i was like i just want to move away and change my name and he looked at me weird so idk. can someone please help me? (link)
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Yikes! Well, I think you'll just have to suck it up and take this as a lesson learned. Stalking is creepy LOL! But seriously, ok, you made a mistake...it happens. Yes, it can be embarrassing, but try to forgive yourself and stop obsessing over it, we've all been there once or twice. I once did kind of the same thing with a guy in high school. I didn't realize how "stalker-ish" I was being until one day, in front of a bunch of people he yelled "Stop following me around. I don't like you like that!" Yes, it was mortifying and I, like you, wanted to move away forever. But I decided to act like it had never happened (even though I was crying on the inside) and you know what, eventually it was like it didn't ever happen. I treated the guy like I would any other classmate and when I did have to talk to him I would imagine that he was just another friend. And soon it all blew over and we were actually friends by the time we left high school. You'll be ok : ) And maybe the "smiling" thing was a sign that things are blowing over. Maybe he feels bad that you might have been embarrassed. And listen, apologizing over the computer is kind of cowardly. Next time you see him just say something casual like "Hey, just wanted you to know I'm sorry about acting kind of weird. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I just thought I liked you, but I'm cool now." It may be hard to say out loud, but I bet if you put it like that, short and to the point (you don't want to drag it out and give him cause to worry that you're not being sincere), he'll really appreciate it.
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So, I was at my boyfriends place the other day and I decided to look through his computer's history (yes..I realize bad idea, but this is not the issue here). So basically..he just looks through a LOT of other girl's pictures. Like pretty girls..slutty pictures..etc. every single day. and it's not like they are his friends in real life, it's like the people that youre friends with on facebook that you havent talked to in years. So..when I asked him about it, he half apologized and said that he does feel bad when he does it.
So my question is..do I have a right to be upset? jealous?
I admit, he is allowed to look. We all look at a cute guy/girl walking by us. But when you're on facebook, it's like you're actively looking for a cute person to check out. It just hurt my feelings and I don't look at other guys pictures on facebook. and there's nothing I can do about it and i'm sure he'll keep doing it.
does it mean he's getting over me? or that he doesnt find me attractive anymore and is looking for a new girl?
Thanks (link)
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It is a tiny bit shady, and I understand your feelings, but I don't think it really means he is looking for a new girl. He likes pretty girls. FB is an easy way to view pretty girls without someone punching you out for staring at their girlfriend? He did apologize (sort of, I guess). I wouldn't stress TOO too much about it, but maybe just keep your eyes open.. If you notice other things about how he treats YOU personally (not as attentive, avoiding you, staying out and not calling) then yes, maybe his actions are something to consider more, but until then just try to express (calmly) to him how hurt it makes you feel and try to move on.
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Im a married women torn between two men and I dont know what to do. Me and my husband been together for 9yrs and married for 3. We had a break up after the first 5 of those years and during that break up I meant someone else and we dated for a year and I gained strong feeling for him. In the mean time I got pregant by my husband and had to stop talking and seeing my friend. I felt I had to do what was right for my baby. I never talked to him again after we talked about my pregancy and I decison to go back to my husband and he totally understood. We never seen each other nor talked for 5yrs. But he some how got my number and contacted me and at the time of contact me and my husband were having problems. So I carried on conversation we meet up and one thing lead to another and I ended up cheating, something I have never done. Now it been 5mths that we have been messing around and feeling are involed and tells me he loves me and anytime I need him he there. I never told him how I felt about him before. But after he opened up with his feeling for me I felt it was only fair to tell him how I felt about him. I love him alot and I also love my husband. But my feeling are stronger towards the other man. And the sad thing about this is I knew I had feeling for him before I got married, I figured out of site out of mind. But thats not so or I wouldnt be were Im at. And we (me and the other guy)have so much fun together its like we picked up rite were we left off. I have told my husband how I feel about the other guy n he still wants to make the marriage work. But I dont know if thats what I want! So what should I do? (link)
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I agree with Raz, you need to seek counseling. The reason why it was so easy to start back up with this other guy is because you never had closure on that relationship. Don't make the same mistake with your husband. Of course it feels like you don't want to work on it. That's natural. Being in a marriage takes work, and your affair is new and exciting and easy (for now). But look into the future...like you did when you were pregnant...and ask yourself what kind of life your family will have if you leave now. Let me tell you a short story. A good (male) friend of mine left his wife and their 2 kids some years ago. He had met a woman and was in love and wanted to be with her. He said she made him feel worthy and exciting...she was a welcome escape from the humdrum of every day life. Fast forward a year...they are living together and he is legally seperated from the wife. He calls my husband up one day and says "Man, my girl is getting on my case, nagging me to clean up more and she's a total B about me staying out and "etc., etc., etc. My husband's response? "Dude, every relationship turns into that after it becomes familiar? So the question is, why would you leave the woman you commited your life too (and your kids) to just be in another relationship that takes MORE work?" My point is, someday, if all the barriers are removed and you can be with your boyfriend, it will be a relationship like any other. All the issues you have with your husband, you'll have with him too. Eventually. So even if you are not sure, give yourself and your child and fighting chance. Go to marriage counseling. Start there - go through your church/house of faith, or go to a professional, but get help! And let me tell you, you'd be surprised just how much counseling can help. It actually IS possible to learn how to feel for your husband the same way you feel for your bf. Really, it is. I've seen it with my own eyes, couples who really had no love left for each other who sought help as a last effort (in order to make the eventual divorce easier) and ended up completely rekindling their passion and romance, and now they are amazing couples! You can have that too. I promise. I also promise it won't be easy, but remember this, few of the RIGHT choices in life are ever the easy choices. Good luck!
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I am a smoker of 40 cigarettes a day. I am addicted and wondered how long it will be before smoking kills me (link)
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Wow! That's a lot. Yeah, it could be tomorrow or never. The point is, you know its not healthy and you WANT to quit. Go see your doctor for help. There are actually many medications that can help you quit. My husband used Chantix, and it totally stopped his cravings after a week.
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I am a 15 yr. old girl. 2 days ago a guy was asking me really awkward questions like: would i date him? when would i have sex? etc...(i ignored these) then he put his arm around me and was grabbing at my side. the next day he asked me to the homecoming dance, but i thought he was joking so i said no immediately and he walked off. Now what should i do?
*please understand that i'm really shy and socially awkward! (link)
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Gather up all your courage. The next time he touches you and asks you about sex tell him you're not a slut and you're not an idiot. You want a guy that can treat you like a lady, not some Jersey Shore skank who drinks too much. Yuck. Honey, you're not socially awkward.. that uncomfortable feeling you have is your BRAIN telling you its not cool for guys to treat girls like that. Just remember this - you teach people how to treat you. Let this guy into your life and you'll be dealing with dopes like this for the rest of your life.
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Okay so I'm a college student. Never had a legitimate job, never taken a loan, etc. I want to know if there's any way I could build credit without paying interest? I'm not really to familiar with how credit works so I was wondering if I got a credit card and paid everything off without paying any interest on it or anything, does that still build credit? And also, what credit cards can I get without having a job or any credit? I don't want annual fees or starting fees or anything if possible. I have a fair amount of money and I'm not at all worried about going crazy and getting into debt with a credit card because I am very frugal with my spending so save that lecture please. (link)
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A great way to start is to open a store credit card - like Old Navy or JC Penny, wherever you like to shop most. Purchase something. Since you say you are frugal I'm confident you won't buy anything crazy. Keep it around 100 bucks. Now, this is key - DON'T pay it all off right away. Pay down a bit, then make slightly above minimum payments for a while. While you will be dealing with interest (interest on 100 bucks won't be that much), you'll be establishing a credit history. Be sure to always pay on time. In about a year, you'll have a good credit rating. You can even do that with a couple of stores (they're the easiest types of credit cards to get, that's why I suggest opening a store account first, b/f getting locked into a high interest credit card). Also, look into American Express. that sounds like a good credit card for someone like you. Its harder to get but interest rates are low because you have to pay your full balance at the end of every month. A lot of "frugal" people I know carry nothing else but AE. Good luck.
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17/F
my friend and i have been friends sence we were in the third or 4th grade, maybe even younger. wll about a month ago he broke up with his gf and 3 weeks ago i broke up with my bf. we grew up in the same church but lately i haven't been going on sundays. so sunday before last he called me and fussed at me for not being there in a month. we stayed on the phone all day long catching up on the things we've missed. (FYI: i've like had a crush on him fo like forever) well he told me about this football party his family has every time alabama (roll tide) plays and invited me and when this past saturday came i went. some how we kind of like wondered away from every1 else and we started talking, next thing i know we were having sex. well this past sunday we both felt weird at church, HE EVEN TOLD ME IT WAS WEIRD SITTING NEXT TO ME, but i felt the same way to. see after we had sex i guess we were going together, because he said so. (which i'm ok with :) ) problem is we talk daily but i don't feel like we're in a relationship, and i don't wanna tell him that because it may ruin our relationship and our friendship (which i realy like). is it me? is it him? i don't know whats wrong with me? i've liked him for like 4ever and i still do but i feel so weird on the inside when i see him. what do i do???? (link)
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I think you've answered your own question. If you are "afraid" to bring something up to him, you're not in a relationship. A real relationship makes your life easier, not harder.
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Okay to start with, my boyfriend and I broke up over a month ago. We went on vacation and ended up having a horrible time there together, we were arguing about ANYTHING. We both had things going on, I was really stressed with college and he was stressed with his job, which is why we wanted to get away but it ended up being the end of our relationship.
Anyway, we broke up on vacation and we agreed not to be friends (my idea, would hurt too much) and I asked him whether in a couple of weeks time he would want to give the relationship a second chance, and basically see how we feel throughout these next few weeks. He agreed to it, but said he wasn't sure if it would make a difference.
Throughout the first 2 weeks, we did talk to eachother and argued quite frequently. We very rarely argued at all during the time we were together. (7 months) From then onwards we didn't really speak to eachother, to save arguments and see how we really felt. He told my friends he misses me a lot and he's been thinking about me all the time especially after a hard day.
We have spoke on and off face to face, as all of my friends are his friends, so we see eachother at least 3 times a week. He told me to my face he still loves me a lot, but he doesn't know what to do for the best. I didn't respond and I never contacted him since. I received a text from him 2 nights ago saying "I want you to know I still love you" I replied and I said I know that you do. And that's it. A day later he text me again asking how I was, etc etc. I told him I can't wait around forever for him to make a move, I need an answer on whether he would like to re-build a relationship. I said I will stop waiting by the end of this week, do you think that was a good decision to make? It's hurting me so much. (link)
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Yes, I think it was a good decision. Its a mature decision. How can you expect any one else to respect you if you don't respect yourself? And as much as you care for him, you have enough respect for yourself to know you shouldn't have to "wait around" for him. A woman can never go wrong when she expects a man to be a man and step up. I'm sorry its hurting so much. The right decisions are rarely the easy one's to make.. if they were, EVERYBODY would make good decisions all the time. Good luck.
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This girl I am sort of dating (we are casually dating but havent given each other the title) has a birthday the day after Christmas. She has never enjoyed her birthday, and it always seems to take second place to the holiday.
She told me over the summer that if someone was to actually give her a good birthday, she would be overwhelemed and remember it forever.
I want to give her a great day to show her how much I care... but also to show her maybe I am the person who is willing to give her the "title" suggestions? (link)
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I can imagine she gets tired of her "special day" getting lost in the holidays. I think, more than a thing or an item, just making the day about her would be so special to her. I don't know your age so I don't know what you can and can't do or afford, but I'll give you my ideas and you can adjust them. Something romantic and cute might be to let her know a couple of weeks in advance that you'd like to spend her birthday together. Then give her a card that has 3 sheets of paper in it. The first paper could say "For your birthday please choose one - I'll take you to a)breakfast, b)lunch or c)dinner"
The second paper could say something like "For your birthday please choose one - a)a movie, b)bowling, c)...whatever it is she likes to do" The third paper is just more of a suggestion, depending on how serious you two are by then. It could say something like "For your birthday, please choose one - a)a kiss, b)a hug, c)an official boyfriend (hint, hint-I like c the best!)"
That's just one idea, but my point is to make it all about her and don't worry too much about money. If she feels special she won't care how much or how little you spend, trust me! Be creative and have fun with it. And don't forget to leave some time open for whatever her family might have planned for her as well. You don't want to be disrespectful. She sounds like a lucky girl to have you! Good luck.
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17/F
I have a friend who i've grew up with in a church we still go to. well my b'day was a few weeks ago and the day b4 i broke up with my boyfriend (bf) and about two weeks b4 my friend (lets call him john) broke up with his girlfriend (gf). well for the past month and a 1/2 i havent been to church(i know shame on me, but it's been alot going on), so one last sunday john calls me & fusses at me because i keep saying i'll go but i don't
so john and i wound up talkin all day. during our conversation he told me about the alabama vs. florida football game and how his family is into college football and they have these party's like every saturday, and he invites me and i agreed to go. he also tells me he likes me. (yes i like him) (fast foward) so its saturday and like around 6:00 he sends his sister to come and get me because he had to run and get the food for the "party".
when she comes and get me my mom is ok with me going because she knows i grew up with him & his family in our church. when i get there his whole family is there and i feel almost out of place because i don't see him. so his sister leads me to him and then asks do i wanna go out side, so we go out side. so we walk aroud and then ended up in his back yard talking for like an hour. then he had to run to the store so i rode with him.
when we got back we sat in his truck (for the record i'm 17 he's 16 but he'll be 17 in feb.)so i grab a CD and just poped it in and the only thing that was playing on the CD was slow music. instead of turning we listened to it and kept talking(you may already know where i'm going with this) so john asks me "have you ever wanted to do something but your not sure wat the reaction or after affect will be" i said "yeah i kind feel like that right now" then i aske wat is it you wanna do?" (long story short) he kissed me, even though i liked & wanted to, i pulled away.
well, i tried not to look at him but whin i did "I" kissed him. next thing i knew we were at his cousin's house around the corner having sex... (fast FWD) when we went back to his house everyting was normal except the fact we were trying to hide what just happened. when i left his house we talked that night and we both made the same coment "wow, i can't believe wat happened, we've known each other for so long and... i would've never guessed" so sunday (this past sunday) i go to church, because i made a promise to go, and i'm sitting in the church alone and he walks in and it felt weird to be THERE, NEXT TO HIM... usuall we are trying to keep eachother up but this past sunday we could bearly keep our eyes open. (and if your wondering yes we are "suppose to be" going our/ talking)
so later last night (sunday night) we are on he phone and he says " it felt weird sitting next to you" and i was speachless because i felt the same way. well the thing is every day he texts me even in school and i realized today his signature says "!(SINGLE)!" but i don't know if its "still ther because of his past relationship, or if he only consider us as friends.
i'm sorry my story is so long, but o need answers because i don't know what to do. i feel like if i ask him then our "relatonship" or "friendship" (which ever one we have) will be completely tarnished. so what do i do? please help me, i ned answers, i'm so lost. (link)
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Looks like the only way to really know is to ask him. Based on your past with him and the fact that he obviously thinks of you as a sex partner, I'm not convinced you'll like the answers, but at least you'll know.
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I'm an 18 year old male who has suffered from a lack of emotions for a long time. I'm curious to know why that is. The only true emotion I know is anger. I don't have any medical history of anger problems or anything. My grandfather was a schizophrenic, my dad has shown no signs of schizophrenia. When I went to therapy they said I would "open up" in a few years. That was when I was 12.
I've always been intelligent, High School drama never effected nor has any family drama, I was the only one not crying at my grandfathers recent funeral.
Just looking for advice. (link)
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I had this exact issue. In my case, it stemmed from never being allowed to tell my family what I was going through. I was abused by my stepfather, but when I tried to tell my Dad he would always cut me off and say" Oh, I suppose you're going to tell me how hard your life is now, huh?" So that had a long term impact with how I expressed myself. I guess my brain just figured out it would be easier not to feel anything than to be rejected for my feelings. When I became a Christian I was able to be healed from a lot of that, and I surrounded myself with good people who I wanted to be like. It helped me alot, but I think I finally learned how to fully deal with it when I went to therapy a few years ago. I feel a lot more these days! So, I don't know if that helps at all or makes any difference to you, but at least you know you're not alone.
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I'm a 19 year old female. I live with my parents still due to medical conditions, and recently started dating this guy. My dad and step mom hate his guts to say the least. My father met him once and told me that night I had to end it right then and there. The only reason my parents will give me for their judgement of him is that he gives off "bad vibes" which is not true. If I didn't trust him I wouldn't be with him. I have been sneaking around seeing him, lying out the wazoo to be with him. I know my parents aren't stupid, I realize that they probably know, but I love my booyfriend, I don't want to split up with him. My mother says that it is their house, their rules so I should obey my dad and stepmom and split up with him. But that's not fair to me. I'm an adult, I should be able to date who I want to date. But at the same time, I still am living with them. (link)
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Unfortunately, they are right - their house, their rules. It sucks and it may not be fair. The best thing to do would be to start making preperations to be out on your own someday. Otherwise, you really have no authority in your own home.
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17/f
I'm a senior in highschool, I believe in enviornmental conservation, recycling, wildlife protection, and stopping global warming. Yes I have varying intrests. What exactly do I do to make a difference in this world. What if I got into politics, and was a politician. Could i make a difference for the enviornment and if so how? I heard when your a politician you have power. I'm sure someone would listen to a politician other then some enviornmental conservationalist. What are the steps that I need to take? Someone, anyone, help. Sincerly, I want to make this world a better place for me, and you. (link)
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start by doing a google search of local groups and politicians that share your passion, then arrange to volunteer. Shop around, try out different organizations until you find something (or someone) that really peaks your interest. Things will unfold from there. Good luck!
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http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=585592
okay so that question gives a background of my situation...we have hung out a few times after this and he texts me every other week...but we havent hung out in about 2 weeks...2 weekends ago he asked me to go to a party that weekend and before that he told me that his roomates werent going to be home that whole weekend..and i knew what that meant and im not like that unless im in a exclusive relationship you know.It was my sisters birthday the night of the party my whole family was over so i stayed and didnt want to be rude to my family but he seemed to really want me to go cause he texted me like 3 times that day if i was going which never happens and he also texted me that night while he was at the party. He kinda said that he wanted to set up my friend with his friend and like we could do it the next day and we will talk more about it the next day but we never did he asked me what i was during that night i said i dont know he said well text me and i did i said what are you doing he said at a bar you? and i never texted him back i was mad. Then during the week he text me once i missed it i fell asleep and he said he would text me later (but its like the 5th time hes forgotten to do that) last weekend was his homecoming at college and i never heard from him and he called out that whole weekend from work and at homecoming peopel party and i eman people hook up..he never asked me to go either..his profile picture is with a girl too from a party i mean its probably a friend but since shes kinda pretty you get jealous you know lol i want to text him or something but i feel like he should since he hasnt seen or talked to me. I dont know what he wants either..i feel like he wants best of both worlds a girlfriend and to get with other girls cause everytime we hang out he treats me like a girlfriend he pays for everything hold my hang and stuff and what he told me in the beginning of us hanging out from the last question and hes different because he dosent talk to me that much either you know guys usually do when they like you but still asks me to hang out Im just so confused should i text him first? sorry this is so long if you could help that would be great thank you! (link)
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He wants sex! Put it together - he hounds you with texts and messages the one weekend he didn't have roommates around, then basically stops.... he figured out you weren't an easy mark and moved on to "greener pastures". Sorry girl. You're WAYYYYY to good for this horndog. I know it hurts but you deserve better, and you'll know it when you see it. The very fact that you even have to ask the question means you are NOT very high on his priority list. And trust me, there are good, HOT, kind men out there who won't mind putting you at the top of their lists! Find those guys, leave this one alone.
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19/f. Sophomore in college.
I've always been a good student. I'm not saying I get straight A's but I have pretty consistent A's and B's. My freshman year, I took all my core classes. Like I took most of my sciences and my maths and stuff like that. I already took all my English classes, and I did pretty well. Math and Science were a STRUGGLE and English was like an easy A. I wrote most of my papers with my eyes closed. But, I got through them and now most of my classes are electives. This semester I am taking Statistics, Public Speaking, Theatre Appreciation, Intro to Acting, and Into to Sociology. I have dropped 2 courses in my entire college career so far. One because I was on medication at the time that made me extremely antsy, and it was a lab that was 3 hours. I only had to take it for a while but it was like a hormone balancer and while I was taking it, it made me EXTREMELY anxious. It was a miracle I was even able to go to school. The other was statistics. I knew I wasn't doing so well, so I dropped it and I'm taking it now and doing much better. I have a B in Stats, an A- in Public Speaking, an A in Theatre, an A- in Sociology and then comes Acting. The teacher is super mean to me. I don't really understand why. Like there's a lot of football players in that class who are always late, never come to class. There are girls there who are like a year younger than me and skip all the time. I've been there every day. The only day I couldn't go, I e-mailed him. I've been BEYOND responsible in this class and haven't taken it as a joke.We had to do a monologue and he gave us specific directions. I followed them ALL! And I got a C+ because he said I wasn't desperate enough in my monologue. The girl who sits next to me got a B. She didn't follow any of the directions and her monologue had like 2 words. I'm not meaning to compare myself, but I just don't think it's fair, you know? My last day to drop the class is the 15th of October. I don't know what to do! It's not that I can't handle the class, but I just don't think I"m getting anywhere with him. I've tried talking to him. and he doesn't want to change the grade. I really can't let this class ruin my GPA because I'll get kicked out of committees and stuff that I am in. But, I also can't drop a lot of classes because I"m applying to law school, and if they see that you dropped a lot of classes, they most likely won't accept you. What should I do.
Thanks (link)
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But maybe you just aren't GOOD at it yet. I'm astonished that you can't even consider that perhaps your judgement is not fully sound on this issue. Your desperate struggle for grades may color your outlook on what's really happening with this class. First, its none of your business how the teacher grades others. Acting is COMPLETELY subjective and one person sees things another may not. Also, your teacher has years of experience. He understands the process and perhaps you don't, and that's why you're confused. You are looking at acting like a class where you take notes and study and if you do that you'll pass. Its not like that. You sound way too stressed. Maybe the question you need to be asking isn't about dropping a class, but why do you feel driven to the point of insanity over grades? Trust me, your whole world right now is college. You think it is the only thing that matters. But when you graduate and become a lawyer guess how much that C in acting is going to affect your prospects? You guessed it. Zero. Finish the class and instead of continuing to worry your teacher about his qualifications as a professor and his abilities to grade properly, why don't you ask him exactly WHAT you could do to improve. Share your worries about your GPA and ask for help, not a better grade. Put your big girl panties on and join the real world where everything doesn't always go according to plan.
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