DefinedEyes's advice column

You need to have special paper, like transfer paper, you can buy some of that, and stick it in your printer and print what you want, then iron it on your shirt, and it wont burn, because its special paper.

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Back in September, I got my second peircings in my ear. I went the 6 weeks with the starter earrings in, but then I lost them. I bought a pair identicle to them, but now whenever I wear them my ears hurt so badly, and puss comes out when I squeeze them.

I clean them with special earring cleaner, and I clean out my hole everytime I wear them, and I`ve tried different types like, gold, and different karats. But no matter what I do, my ears can`t stand wearing anything in those second holes! What should I do?

Hi,

Well my sister just recently got her second holes in her ears too, and its infected sorta, it pusses, and what not, and it hurts really bad. If it stings when you put alchol on it, that means its not healing yet. Sometimes it takes a while for the hole to heal, and sometimes it wont, try putting neosporin on it, to keep something on it so it wont dry out, and to kill the germs. Take a tylanol or advil or something like that, and keep cleaning and applying neosporin, if it still hurts after a few weeks, go to the doctor. Trust me, I went to the doctor for mine, because they never healed, andit hurt really bad, and now i have bumps on th eback of my ears which I now i have to have a plastic surgen remove them.

no joke, not going ot be fun.
But I hope yours feels bettr soon.

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ummm...ok im 16/f and im a b.36 cup size...my mom is a DD does that mean im going to be large chested aswell?

Not neccasarily, her body type is probably different than you, since your almost done growing, I dont think you will be, but if her mom was, or her sister is, maybe you will.
Its kinda unpredictable with everyone having different bodies you know? :)

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My 17 year old sister is gone to bootcamp. She wont get out till January 17th 2007. I'm only allowed to see her 2 times between now and then. She is also allowed 1 phone call a week for a max of 5 minutes. Oh My God I'm so freakin' sad cuz we were so close and the day she left, when it came time to tell me bye, she went hysterical crying, that didnt make it any easier when I was trying with everything I had to suck it up and not cry. We were told to write her as much as possible but after 3 letters, I'm getting stumped, Ive already went on and on about how proud I was of her and told her things that were going on in my life, but I'm not that interesting lol so there's only so much I can say about that. I need help on topics to talk about in the letters, or what to discuss to keep her in on the latest news and stuff (She lovesssss music) I dunno... Any Ideas are much appreciated and I will certainly rate and give feedback for your time.

Wow,
this is so tough.
I'm sorry she went away, it must be so hard!
Hang in there!
Okay some topics you can write about
are like.. new bands you've found, or
you can design stationary with cool pictures, you can make her cards, oh but topics you can write about, how your day was, the weaather, if something funny happened, or do some research about boot camp, and maybe you'll find something to write about that you can ask her about it. You know?

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Ever since a few days ago, I've been discharging WAY more than I ever have. It feels like I'm peeing, when I'm not...
I'm not sexually active, and I shouldn't have my period for another two weeks.
Why all of a sudden am I discharging so much?
&, i repeat, i have NEVER discharged this much before in my life.
Also, when I go to...well, i'll be blunt, wipe myself after i go to the bathroom, it looks like i sneezed there is so much discharge on the toilet paper.
It's really disgusting, and it's really uncomfortable. Two questions.

1. what might be the cause of this?
2. how can I make it not as thick?

You are most likely ovulating, like the girl on the way bottom said :)
Its nothing to worry about and only lasts for a few days, wear pantyliners, and try to wait it out!

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Hes easily jealous, yet he thinks it okay.
He gets mad at me for talking to people from work and hanging out with them.(whom he doesnt know) But he's in a band, and has girls coming up to him all the time, and people he talks to from schools he used to attend (whom i dont know) I put up with being second to his band, but sometimes its too much. What is a good way to explain that he gets mad at me for the same things that he is doing? Bluntly, whats the nicest way to tell him hes a hypocrit?

Wow that is a tough situation.
If he wont give you enough time to explain this, write a letter to him.

Tell him, can you see, that you tolerate him having girls all over him at shows, and that he cant know everyone you possibly meet, and you cant know everyone he meets, you just need to trust. Explain to him, to trust you, or the relationship isnt going to work, you know?

Dont sugar coat it, bluntly is the best way to tell him.

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My sister is the youngest in our family and suffers from depression and anxiety. Unfortunately, she also suffers from agoraphobia and has been housebound for over six years. She still lives at home with our mom who seems to be enabling her condition. (My mother is separated from my dad and would otherwise be alone in the house.)

Although I live a fair distance away, I try to go over when I can and get my sister out of the house by taking her to the store. But otherwise, she doesn't bother going out. I have a couple of other siblings who are of no help.

Additionally, as my husband and I get closer to retirement age, he is starting to get concerned that once my mom passes away, that my sister will become my responsbility.

My question is how (and if) we should get her to take that first step towards recovery. I know from personal experience that one must actually WANT to get well before actually doing so. However, it's been a LONG TIME now and doesn't seem to be taking an steps toward recovery. (She's refused all offers of counseling.)

Any ideas you can give me would be much appreciated.

I definitly agree with you that you need to want to get better before you do it. 100% because you are right. I think you need to motivate your sister and slowly try to show her the world, getting her out, tell her how much it would mean to you. Its really hard I guess, if shes refused counseling.. it makes the whole situation even more difficult. Well explain to her that she can get better, paint a picture of how her life could be if she went to counsuling sometimes thats irrisitiable.

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Hello, I'm a 14 yr old female and my boyfriend is a 14 yr old male. I know we've only be together for 5 months, but there's just this "click" and for some reason i KNOW it's going to last a verrrrrry long time[ maybe forever:), I know know you doubt] We both walk in the path of the lord and we're wondering what the limits should be; how often; what should be allowed and what shouldn't[touch wise], ect.

So what do you think?
ps.we see each other practicly everyday, and if we don't, we morn for each other.

THX so much

Okay, well I'm glad things are working out so niceley. Just remember that no matter how perfect things seem, there are always flaws.
Anyways, I think since your 14, I'm guessing you are in 8th or 9th grade, what I think would be appropriate for limits, is kissing, hugging, holdings hands, cuddling, but making out you need to be careful, because that leads to other things, and even if you dont plan on it, you get taken away by the moment. Dont end up doing something you regret. No touching under or over clothes in certain areas (I think you know where).

And also dont become to close, I mean its great to be really close, but as a person, we cant rely on other people, and we cant need them so much that we cant focus on our own, so going away from him a day,, you shoujld be okay, its not healthy to Need him like that.

Hope Ihelped deary,

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What are some good acoustic songs and rock songs besides panic at the disco, smile empty soul, sugarcult, nickelback, yellowcard, new found glory, the spill canvas and the other popular bands? thanks in advance

The Fray - Look after you live
Daphne Loves Derby - Hopeless Love
The starting line (I LOVE THEM) - Bedroom talk
Cartel - honestly
Gatsby's American Dream - theatre
LolaRay - Automatic girls
Taking Back Sunday - Make Damn Sure
American Hi-FI - Another Perfect Day
Unwritten Law - Angel
Jacks Mannequin - The Mixed tape

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hey my name is ashley... and almost everyday afetr school i come home crying because i am always being made fun of because i smell... i have no reason to smell. whats going on, how do i get them to stop, what should i do about the smell?

Aww I'm sorry about this!
Anyways, if they tell you that you smell, maybe you do?I mean I dont mean this in a bad way, but Iknew this girl who was really nice but she had really BAD B.O (body odor) so if you dont wear deoderant maybe you should try. And if thats not that case, then tell an adult whats happening, no one should be taunting you like this for no resaon. But dont let them get ot you, try sticking up for yourself.

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when i log onto myspace, this sign comes up:
http://i2.tinypic.com/2005vs8.jpg

and so then, i type in my password and email, but than this sign comes up:
http://i1.tinypic.com/2005w7n.jpg

PLZZZ HELP!

That means your parents have blocked myspace from your computer. You need their email & password to remove the block.

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After I charge my camera (on a dock that plugs into computer) it only takes a few pictures then goes dead. Could I buy a different dock/ do they even sell different kinds of docks?

It may be the batteries.
Try getting rechargeable batteries.
It works really well for me.

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does anyone know what the average clothing size and inches around your waist or hips is for a 15 year old female??

Yeah I agree with the person below.
There is no average since everybodys bodies are so different.
And usually the more expensive the jeans the bigger the size.

For like example: Certain jeans that cost like 175 dollars, you could be a size 7 in normal jeans, but in this brand your a size 2. You know?

So yeah it varys from brands.

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. The first few months we started dating, he asked me the usual "virginity" questions and things like that.. I told him everything, BUT I added and took away things to make me sound ok. I still wasn't comfortable telling him everything.

After the drama of me being a "liar", I prayed, and realized that if I want this relationship to be the way it needs to, then I need to let him know EVERYTHING about me. Nothing should be hidden. So, at 4am (what a great time) I let him know.

8 months later, he has moved to my city for me, we'll be going to school together.. basically starting a new chapter. Everything is PERFECT.

I live in a VERY small town where everyone knows everyone and everyone likes to have something to say bad about someone. A guy that comes into my boyfriends store often came in to tell my boyfriend a handful of LIES about me. The things he said didn't derive from any truth.. they were literally made up off of the top of his head. My boyfriend knew this guy lies about a lot of things, but then someone I had never met before that was friends with the liar backed him up.

The liar is someone I went to highschool with, but never knew. I knew of him. The other guy I have yet to have ever met him, nor have seen in my entire life. Plus.. both guys kept saying to my boyfriend "don't tell her we said this.." That's pretty obvious to me that those were all lies.

I want to confront the liars without making a scene.

I feel like I'm 15 again.

Why can't people grow up, and why can't my boyfriend believe me??? I have been truthful to him since the one and only incident before.

I'm way past this nonsense drama. I'm ready for a future and I can't have this future here with people like that. I'm tired of people that I don't even KNOW stepping into my relationship and causing problems.

...I'm clueless.. Hopefully this will blow over.

hey, I feel so bad for you, how can people make up lies about that? Thats dumb.
Talk to your boyfriend, and tell him that he can either believe the liar or belive you, and its his choice I guess. He'll eventually find out that they were lies. Because all lies will slowly unfold. And what comes around goes around, tell your boyfriend that if he doesnt belive you - tell him, I already told you the truth that I didnt do any of those things, and if you cant trust me, then I dont see where this relationship is going. Tell him you want to be in a relationship with him so bad, and that you thought everything was going ot be perfect, but if he cant get over lies that someone you didnt even know told him then where are you going to end up?

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ok so my parents got a devoice 7 years ago. and last year my dad got married. my step mom WAS cool but now shes annoying. i get in trouble for the *dumbest* things when she asks me a question and i dont give her every single detail then she yells and cuses. and she spys on me and my step sister to see what where saying. and we cant shut our door they said they where gonna take it down.i dont get any privecy. HELP

Tell your dad how you feel, or tell your real mom. Because your stepmom is totally violating your privacy, and your dad should know about that. You should also remind your step mom that she isnt your real mom. And that she doesnt need to know EVERYTHING, and that you need your privacy, like everyone.

If you need someone to talk to, feel free to on my advice column IM on any one the messengers.

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Okay, well i need something to do around my house so i can get money. I really want a new iPod, because i dont like the one i have now. Any ideas, for around my house work?!

Doing the dishes, Washing the floors, Dusting, Vaccuming,Doing the laundry, making dinner, mowing the lawn,taking out the trash, walking/feeding the pets (if you have pets) .. etc
:]

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My best friend, "Chelsea", and I dated briefly a few months back. It ended after a few weeks because I'm a lesbian and out, and she's not out and was afraid to be. Despite everything, I still think about her constantly, and I really care about her alot. I've told her this which resulted in a response of just silence.

Lately, she's said somethings that make me feel as though she might still like me. For example, saying I love you which is out of character for her. But also, when we get around other people or around each other.. she always makes sure that we aren't alone and that she can avoid me if need be.

I'm not sure what to do. I've tried talking to her about it but she wont respond.

Thanks,
Samantha (17)

Hi

I think Chelsesa isnt sure if she wants to be lesbian anymore, I could be wrong, but thats what it sounds like, if she doesnt want anyone to know shes lesbian yet, thats probably because she doesnt want them to label her that if shes not sure yet. Her saying she loves you is kinda a sign that she might still like you, but give her time and leave her alone fo r awhile, so things can be sorted for her and you.

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so, i recently transfered to an girls school from a coed school. so i'm kinda new to the environment. its been about a month of classes alredy and suddenly, i feel a bit different to this popular lesbian. and it MIGHT because i'm starting to like her!! but this can't be happening! i think a girl having a crush on a girl is gRoSS!!! but then, what can i do about it?? how do i stop myself before i do anything stupid!!?? please help me!!
-Carlotta

Carlotta,

Hi you know, it could be you dont like her, but since there are no boys around your getting so bored. But remind yourself you like guys, and that this whole lesbian thing isnt for you. Be careful with your actions because sometimes the outcome isnt very friendly.

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My name is Justine, I am 14 and in one month 15, and female
I really like my moms ex-best friends son and I have known him all my life but I am not alowed to see him anymore. He likes me and I like him, but he moved to far away. We sneek around just so we can see each other but its not enough. We call ourselves friends with benifets, but the truth is I am in love with him but I dont know if I should tell him. Hes been my friend for so long, and I dont want to ruin our friend ship just because how I feel What do I do? Do I tell him how i feel any possibly dont talk to him for a long time, or do I keep me Fellings locked inside of me?

The only way he would be telling you he loved you is he if said it. :( Thats the only way to know, but him agreeing with the situation shows that he cares a great deal about you :) So thats very cute! IF you love him, tell him. See whats happens.
:}

Well you should really tell him how you feel, communication is the key.
But being friends with benefits could wreck your friendship even more, because your basicly just using each other. Because you may love him so it doesnt feel like it, but he may not love you so hes most likely jsut using you. But talk to him and sstop sneaking around, because if your mom finds out you will hurt her so much.

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I recently went to the coach outlet in Kittery and bought two coach purses -- im not sure what there called, but one is a large tote, is made of straw, and has gold outlining. it also has a larger version, but i didnt get that one. the second one i got was straw too and it has leaves on the front and back with lady bugs and large rhinestones and i just needed to kno how much they really cost because theyre not on the website anymore so i cant check ..
thannks in advance!!

Go to the coach store,
and they usually have abook with all the discontinued coach purses that you can order.

Haha i was just in the store yesterday because my sister was looking for the holidaypatches one.

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