Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
Gender: Female
Location: San diego
Member Since: January 18, 2005
Answers: 822
Last Update: June 30, 2016
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Dragonflymagic
adviceman49
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All my life ive always been the ugly friend or ugly girl. It doesnt bother me as much anymore cause ive learned to accept it but its the people around me that keep on reminding me about it. Ever since grade 9 people would ask me if i had a brother, i do have a brother but he is 5 years younger than me so it wouldve been impossible for them to refering to him. So i would ask why and they would say i looked like this guy. Now grade 12 i finally figured out who the guy was and hes not really attractive to me so when a girl finally told me i looked like i could be his twin she said dont be offended because hes "Nice" that made me pissed off even more. I just want to know what its like to be the pretty girl im tired of being the girl where when someone jokes about dating me they say ew. In tired of watching my friends have boyfriends and i just stay at the sidelines im tired of guys treating me like im invisible im tired of girls always calling me ugly not directly but its obvious im tired of my dad telling me im pretty everyday because hes aware of my low-self esteem it just makes me feel worse. Also a couple days ago i went prom dress shopping and my dad said your prom is in 3 months and you still dont have a date what is wrong with you i know if it were your sister or brother they wouldve had one by now. News flash dad you have an ugly daughter. Anyways my question is what is it like to be the pretty girl and how can i fix my self esteem, ive tried wearing makeup because my dad and mom always beg me to wear it but i dont knkw the basics to wearing makeup i know that wearing makeuo wont fix my self-esteem in fact if my self-esteem is already low makeuo will probably make me feel more insecure cause then i wouldnt wanna be seen without it. Please help (link)
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"All my life ive always been the ugly friend or ugly girl. It doesnt bother me as much anymore cause ive learned to accept it but its the people around me that keep on reminding me about it. Ever since grade 9 people would ask me if i had a brother, i do have a brother but he is 5 years younger than me so it wouldve been impossible for them to refering to him. So i would ask why and they would say i looked like this guy. Now grade 12 i finally figured out who the guy was and hes not really attractive to me so when a girl finally told me i looked like i could be his twin she said dont be offended because hes "Nice" that made me pissed off even more."
Do you think it could be possible that the girl that said you could be this guys twin meant that you look like you could be RELATED? and not that you literally look like a guy? Sounds like thats what she meant and that YOUR just taking it the wrong way hunny. Stop taking everything so personally.
"I just want to know what its like to be the pretty girl im tired of being the girl where when someone jokes about dating me they say ew. In tired of watching my friends have boyfriends and i just stay at the sidelines im tired of guys treating me like im invisible im tired of girls always calling me ugly not directly but its obvious im tired of my dad telling me im pretty everyday because hes aware of my low-self esteem it just makes me feel worse."
Then try NOT hanging out with people that say things liek that to you. Try speaking up and saying something to one of the few friends you have to will listen, understand, and tell everyone else not to say things like that when your around.
Dont be mad at your parents because your always going to be their "baby" and all parents think their children are beautiful. They say things like that out of love. If you were a parent you might understand that.
"Also a couple days ago i went prom dress shopping and my dad said your prom is in 3 months and you still dont have a date what is wrong with you i know if it were your sister or brother they wouldve had one by now."
You dont HAVE to have a prom to go to prom. You should probably tell him that. Alot people go with just their girlfriends and its still just as special. It has nothing to do with looks. Voice your discontent with his comments and to stop comparing you to your siblings.
"my question is what is it like to be the pretty girl and how can i fix my self esteem, ive tried wearing makeup because my dad and mom always beg me to wear it but i dont knkw the basics to wearing makeup i know that wearing makeuo wont fix my self-esteem in fact if my self-esteem is already low makeuo will probably make me feel more insecure cause then i wouldnt wanna be seen without it. Please help"
Its not really about your looks, its about how you carry yourself, how out spoken you are, and your vibe. Try walking with some confidence, look straight ahead, ignore anyone that might be looking at you that doesnt know you and pretty soon they will WANT to get to know you because just in the way your walking down the street, you look like you know what your doing and have it together (at least to some degree) If you need help with make up you can walk into a MAC store and tell them that you need to find a shade of foundation that matches your skin well, and they will help you find what looks right. Just tell them you havent been able to find a shade that closely matches. ; )
You can always go on youtube and look up tutorials about make up and watch what their doing and go from there. We all have to start somewhere when it comes to things like this so dont be ashame because you dont know how. Its like anything else in life. ITS LEARNED.
I dont know what exactly to tell you about self esteem but one thing i DO know is that if you choose to believe that your ugly based on what other people think of you then its going to just get worse later down the road. Theres no use in believing everything you hear, even when its from people that supposedly care for you. You have a brain of your own and if you know you have value then flaunt it. everyone has something special to contribute to this world, you just have to find what yours is.
; )
edited: foundation is meant to EVEN out your skin tone, not disguise or "cover" flaws (just so you know) And if you dont have the money to spend on make up then tell them to start buying if it for you if they want you to wear it THAT badly. THEN see what they do.
Tell your mom what your dad is saying, im sure that on some level she will find it wrong and possibly speak to him about it.
Ignore certain comments, parents can say things sometimes that are sort off the cuff and make mistakes too. When i went to my prom with my guy and another couple we knew, we ended up just sitting at our table the whole time and watching other groups of people who had come WITHOUT dates together dancing and honestly its looked like they were having way more fun.
i got ONE dance out of my guy and it was the last one at the end of the effing night! ((alot of guys dont like to dance)) and girls do, so to ME going with a groups of girls could be alot more fun.
Tell your parent to stop putting the same expectations they have for your other siblings on you (like the make up thing or the dating thing) your each different and that needs to be recognized.
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I've been told by a few men that I've had crushes on and I approached, "You're too good for me and I don't deserve you" Huh? How is someone too good for someone? I have a good head on my shoulders, a good job, and I take care of business like a woman should, I have morals, values and self-respect... how challenging can that be for a man?
I had asked this guy out last year and he said lets just stay friends, I said yeah ok....and then a week ago he came out the sky blue and said you're too good for me and I don't deserve you...WTH? (link)
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Heres the problem ok. (cause ive gotten this so many times i cant even count, luckily i found a guy who was up to the challenge and he says he couldnt be happier)
Guys who have sort of a low expectation of themselves will also have the same of a partner. They can also be intimated because they feel your really going places in life and that they cannot compete with that. They dont want to feel like they cant be "the man" and so WE as successful females end up basically getting punished for having our lives together.
Before my hubby i was a rising model, making good money, working for two major clothing stores, going to school, driving. i mean everything, and the guys around me LIKED ME but were afraid of me because i was an equal. I was just as smart as them and could have intelligent conversations with them and see through any B.S. (not that i would jump to conclusions of was ever mean about it) But i had ALOT of "male admirers" and male friends who (because they saw me as an equal) it somehow made me not girlfriend or wife material?? (thats a head scratcher I KNOW) And those guy friends ALWAYS ended up getting together with dumber, low on the scale of intelligence and job levels, and somehow seemed to like it!
It could just be the guys your going after who knows. But for ME its was intimidating to be smart, well rounded, and have my own life going on. Find a guy who has his life going on and youll find your equal! ; )
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what is the best way to lick a straight mans asshole that he will love and want more and gets him hard and makes him cum so hard
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Okay are you trying to turn a straight guy gay or something?? Im not really sure what the intention behind this is but most straight guys i know dont want anything near their assholes. lol.
you need to explain more because this is very vague and likely to not get answered at all...
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How would you feel or react to seeing your son in the nude? Example being if you come home from work one day and you find him relaxing nude sunbathing in the backyard and you get the full eye view of him and his nude body, how would you feel? (link)
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I would feel like my son is making a stupid fool of himself and i would tell him to put some effing clothes on now because no one wants to see that. lol
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Is my second time going to hurt?
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Theres a good chance that if your not using lube that it could hurt against yes. Usually it gets better with time but you really should use lube.
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I want a deck but I live in a really religious area. I still live with my parents who think you must be Christian to be moral. I dont live in the Bible belt or anything, it's just my town is super Catholic and the church sticks their noses into everything and are preaching pro life, anti lgbt and other conservative nonsense. 99% of ppl Catholic. I honestly am going to move far away from here when I hit 18. The point is: is it possible and if so how do you do it? (link)
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Ive heard that you cant. I used to own a deck that i bought from a mystic shop in my area and was told that you have to just walk up to the decks they have for sale there and pick out the one that sticks out to YOU and that when you pick up you "get a good vibe from" I didnt listen to that when i bought mine and it refused to give me clear enough answers on things. I tossed the deck out later.....
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I got into a big argument with my mom recently, and she hit me. I am 13 and this is the first time shes ever really hit me and I don't know what to do. She struck me with the belt on my hand and leg. Although, I kept screaming and pushind her back saying it was abuse. Later, when we were relaxed, we talked it through and she sologized for hitting me saying she hated doing it. The hits left welts though, am I being abused? Even though it just happened once? She admitted she was wrong for hitting me and everything, but am I being tricked? (link)
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Why do you feel your being tricked?? has she hit you or done something to you before and then said sorry but then turned around and did it again?? did she not seem sincere when she said she was sorry? these are all things you need to ask yourself.
What i would do is try to ask her to talk to you about what it is specifically thats bothering her. Did you do something you KNEW you wernt supposed to be doing and she asked you before to stop and you did it anyway??
If a parent is having a bad day and they are running low on patience then i could see how this could have been a last straw sort of situation happening, because she obviously felt bad about it LATER and even said she was sorry.
Parents have bad days just like younger kids do (not that im defending or trying to justify what she did) but if she comes home or you come home and know someone has had a bad day it might be best to just be kind, and supportive of each other instead of doing what you both would normally do. Family members learning to kind of stay out of each others way sometimes is something that is learned and is important when you all live together.
Try to see if you can open up a dialogue with her and get her to communicate with you more often so that you can judge where she is mentally and that will tell you if shes not having a good day and then you can judge where to go from there.
Sometimes parents need help too and arent as strong as they appear to be. They have flaws, make mistakes, and have bad days just like the rest of us, but if you think shes a good person, she was really sorry, and you want to try to make things easier for her then you should do so.
good luck ; )
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there is this guy im somewhat close to at work...but he isn't a co-worker but we talk all the time....I guess u can say we are just building friends.....well I was eating my lunch (tacos to be exact) and he came in the breakroom teasing me as usual and he says you always eatin I said yup, he was like I see you got tacos, I said "yeah, I deserve this" and he said with seriousness in his tone/face "I think you deserve a little bit more than a taco dinner" and he repeated himself again, smiled at me and walked away...... I didn't say anything, i just kept eating.....can anyone decipher this? Thanks (link)
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Yeah im gonna agree with dangernerd here. He said it a certain way because he was looking for you to say "well what are you gonna take me out and buy me something better?" or something that effect and when you didnt say it, he took it as a rejection on your part.
The only way i can think of salvaging this is by making a joke of it with him the next time you buy tacos and then when he walks into the break room or where ever you are, laugh and say "hey look i bought tacos again!!!" keep it light and then say the thing about him thinking you deserve better.
Then if it ever comes up later, just say when he said it that you didnt immediately pick up on what he was really getting at. ; )
Ask him to come sit down and eat with you so that he knows you still like him on some level and see if he'll do it. Openly inviting him and saying something fun like "hey you gonna come sit with me and eat or what??" with a big smile will make him feel welcome.
good luck!
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I am 20 yo guy... And had been in a relationship with a girl for nearly 14 months. I really loved her a lot and it was a dream, Unfortunately shortlived. Things began souring within the 2nd month itself.Here is how it went
2nd month-She failed in her exams. I called & calmed her down.i happened to say i ll be there for u no matter wat the result. She lost it and did not talk to me fr 2 days.i somehow convinced her i was sorry & i did nt mean it
3rd month-she broke up because i said that if we were ever to break up i ll always keep her in my heart. She broke up saying i din say i ll always love her.again i begged n convinced her.
4th n 5th month had a break up again over something trivial
6th month she got soo angry insulted and humiliated me.i made her a card she asked me throw it. And that i did not deserve any1.i begged again
7th month. A huge fight coz i din ask how she was cz she had been ill.i sd i m sorry. Cheered her up. Then my agony began in the 10th month
She had her exams and so did i. She sd pls support and understand me. I did bt then during my exams i sd i might gt frustrated.plz bear with me. A huge fight broke coz " now that she was with me i was takin her for granted and behave rudely with her" then it was our month anniversary. I had my exams so i sd can we meet tommrw cz it was my bday as well. She got so angry even when we met she was behaving rudely in public to the point i was going to break down in tears. I prepared hand made gifts for her birthday and saved money. She broke up and asked me to never talk to her. And when i did not she sd i really did nt love her coz i din try to win her back. Ultimately we did meet on her bdae after lot of persuasion. Then i had gone out with my parents for some days. On the day i was returning she called up n sd she scored less in exam.i cheered her and said that i wud meet her a day later. She got angry ,accused me of never supporting her coz i did nt say i would meet her tommrw rather i sd
A day after tommrw. I told that i was really tired and would nt b able to spend time properly. Again a break up. I finally lost it when she flushed my ring down the drains and broke up. What followed was a series of tantrums,blackmail. I somehow lied that my parents forced me out of it coz they are against us. We broke up but now she says she wants to be with me. I really never want to see her again. But her friends sometyms call and make me feel guilty. My friends also support me but i desperately need help.i m worried if she harms herself i might get into trouble. Please help & sincere apology for making it long ! Please help
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WOW, honestly she sounds like a brat. It sounds like from what your saying here that this is a very one sided relationship where your doing all the wrong things and shes just holding shit over your head non-stop.
Look it takes two people to be in a relationship, and if shes going to make you chase her, say that your always saying the wrong thing (even when it sounds like your CLEARLY being nice and you ARE trying) she just never going to stop with this behavior.
She obviously expects you to be a mind readier (which no one is) and always know what to say which is impossible.
She sounds dysfunctional and like you'll never be able to make her happy and your only putting yourself through a bunch of agony for nothing. If she harms herself and blames you then shes even worse off mentally then she was showing and needs help. We're all responsible for our own actions, and as adults especially there is no one she can hide behind or finger point to get out of that. You need to step away from her and move on.
Its ok to worry but if shes saying shes going to harm herself then threaten to have the police come to her house. Its unfair for her to blame you for things shes put YOU through in order to make you feel bad. dont get yourself stuck in a bad situation. shes the one that keeps on breaking up with YOU so follow through on her actions and allow her to break up with you. Its her loss not yours.
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I'm 16 years old 36 weeks pregnant and I can't come up with a good baby girl name! My top 3 were Melody, Bethany, Isabella. My family loved Isabella and my boyfriend did too! Unfortunately I've been on and off with him for 5 years but together without any break ups for 2 years and 3 months. In the past he's cheated on me and just talked to several girls to make me jealous. There was a girl named Isabel that was his best friend and he called her Izzy and it irritated the living hell out of me. They stopped talking when I asked him to about 3 Yeats ago but I still can't get over it. Should I just pick the name Isabella either way? Am I crazy :( (link)
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Well if the name makes you think of someone you dont like then just dont use the name.
Think of people in your life who have always been there for you, ask them their middle name and see if you can put together a combination of a name based on that?
Im actually pregnant now, its still very early so idk what it is yet but i have a few names ive been bouncing around for a few years if it IS a girl heres mine and a few other friends whos babies i helped name:
Scarlett (A type of english rose from england thats now extinct full name is Scarlett carson)
Violett Ava
Cheyenne (sounds like Shy-anne)
Charlotte (from that movie the patriot with mel gibson)
Samantha (from the american girl books)
All good names. think about it ; )
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One of my best friends is turning 18, and I need to come up with an idea for a gift. I am looking to spend about $20 or make something for her. It has to be special, I don't want to just give her money or a gift card.
Here's some info about her:
She loves cooking and baking, but I don't want to get her a cookbook or baking supplies cuz she already has so many.
She loves to read.
She likes sort of vintage classic style things
I can't buy her clothes because she is really picky about her style and I don't want to get something she won't like.
Thanks! (link)
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what about her nails??
you could go to walmart and buy a wide mouthed BALL jar and then some colored ribbon, pick out a color you think she might really like from the nail section, some cotton balls (either from your house or walmart) a nail file, nail clippers, maybe a bottle of clear coat if you have enough left and then BOOM! you have a mani and pedi in a jar with what you think my be a cute color with a awesome ribbon around it.
Depending on where you live you could buy a box of live butterflies and then take her to a park or outside her house and have her open it and then take pictures of her reaction, and them climbing all over her??
you could have her dress up and then go to a public place and give her a mini photo shoot and you could pay to print the photos out for her?? thats under 20 bucks for sure.
thats all i can think of right now but ive got more up my sleeve that i do regularly for people. = )
good luck! ; )
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I want to find a boyfriend and be in love. Or at least have some kind of trust/commitment with someone. Every guy I ever go out with only wants to fuck me. I am a virgin. No guy ever lasts more than one or two dates because they just want to fuck me and when they realize it's not going to happen they magically lose interest. I've been on dates/hung out with dozens of guys and this is always the situation. I am not sluttty. I am actually quite modest. I'm introverted and awkward and weird. I can't for the life of me understand why I never attract someone who wants something more than sex. Maybe I should just have sex with all of them and allow my life to be a series of one night stands. Maybe that is my destiny? (link)
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I love your sense of humor (if im reading that right) its very funny and means you are intelligent and know whats going on. ; )
Sometimes people dont realize the vibes they give off to others, think they are one way and others seeing something else. How you present yourself to the world and the people you associate with COULD play a vital part in this problem. If your meeting guys through parties or friends hooking you up then there in lies your issue. Stop letting them do that if you know they hang around shady people. I know its tempting and easy but it may not be the best way to go.
I only say that because you didnt mention HOW you met all these guys so i figured it needed to be said.
ANYWAY, It doesnt matter how much of an introvert you are, if you have an inviting presents but let it be known that you will have NO games played around you then theres more of a chance you will attract the right guys and the bad ones will be put off by it because they will think "uh oh this girl can totally see right through me" see?
Having guy friends, that you can talk to and make jokes with a great start so if you work and know some and you think about them as FRIENDS and not just someone that might be into you, then you might actually consider stepping out of your comfort zone as well when it comes to what type of guy your attracted to (because you didnt mention that either here) so im kind of just trying to wing it based on what your saying.
Nice guys can also know OTHER nice guys and if you hang out with him you might just find one you like.
What the world see's is what you want them to see, its what you present to the world when you walk out your front door, its the energy you give off, the looks you give strangers weather you look up and acknowledge people or smile at a passing stranger.....these all come into play when it comes to making more friends and eventually relationships.
Consider that the version of yourself that you may be putting out there may not be the version that would attract the type of guys you want. Thats why the shallow ones only try to sleep with you and then if they cant lose interest. If your a modest person, then put what you think is a modest but nice version of yourself out there.
good luck and you can pm me if you need more help ; ) good luck.
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I am 16 and I'm a female. i moved to a new town about 8 months ago and I've made amazing new friends and I love them. My best friend from my old town gets jealous of my new friends and she was being rude to one of my new friends online so I defended my new friends and not her. I called her immature and she is very upset with me now. How should I tell her it was her fault and she shouldn't have been rude? I don't want to apologize because I feel I did nothing wrong (link)
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Its normal for your friend to feel that way if she feels the bond you too had is being threatened. sorry but thats just teenage girls for you! ; )
What you could do is let her know that your friendship is in no danger and that she doesnt need to be mean to other people youve just met. Its natural when you move to a new place that you will start making new friends, thats life and human nature and its not going to change.
Being nice to her isnt going to make you seem weak or anything, but you dont have to say your sorry either.
You can tell her in an adult manner that you care for her but that the things she said were totally unnecessary and if she is really your friend she will understand that.
Teen girls can be notoriously territorial over best friends and is probably sad and upset that you moved in the first place. What shes doing is showing you that shes upset you left and its really kind of a cry for help and shes probably just needs a good pep talk from you.
be the mature one about this, hear her out and try to be kind instead of responding with an overly emotional reaction that in the end wont fix anything at all.
you can do it ; )
good luck
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I want to get ready for crop top season. And my belly hasn't been as flat as it used to (even thought it wasn't super flat before). But in order to do that I need to excersie and eat healthy. But it is hard to eat healthy when my parents bring unhealthy foods into the ALL THE TIME. And I don't want to tell them because they will think I'm trying to lose weight and stuff. Any advice? (link)
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Im going to back the other poster on this but i also want to add. See if theres anyway you can maybe go to the store WITH them and "HELP" pick some things out you'd like.
Ask them ahead of time if you guys can start eating other things not just "the same old stuff" and encourage them to try new things like salads or maybe baked chicken instead of fried "because its healthier for you" see where im going with this??
If you can get every people to slowly be on board with it, you may just get them to start thinking about their own fitness as well! and thats never a bad thing.
I did it with my family and now we all eat much healthier, and they are happier because of it.
You CAN buy healthier foods that are still on the cheap side if you shop at discount grocery stores like food 4 less. Trying to ready made salads is great, then going to the grocery section and bagging your own things to add to them like tomatoes, and mushrooms.
If you can get them to buy raw chicken and bake it instead of frying it, you can SAVE the left over chicken from that and make yourself a chicken salad!
(warning though, stay away from dressings like ranch if your trying to lose weight) ONLY oil based dressings are actually helpful.
Try cooking some sausages for breakfast everyday before you go on with your day! your body LOVES protein and it'll aid in your body and brain function.
Make homemade soaps and say that your just playing with a few ideas you had for making some good soup and you wanted to try something new.
most importantly, no matter what your eating ALWAYS listen to your tummy! if your brain is starting to say "im full" then stop eating because once the food your still in the middle of swallowing reaches your stomach youll feel like youve stuffed yourself sick! ; )
Eat slower, and listen to your body.
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I ama girl from Bangladesh. I am 17 yrs old n my bf is 25. We love each other like everything. I was in an abusive relationship the for 1.5 yrs n he helped me get out of it. Now we r together for the last 5 months. We know each other for about 2 yrs now. My present bf is jst perfect. N i love him. He treats me like a princess and plays wid me like a doll. He has a stable job n is too handsome. Bt d prob strts whnevr i get angry wid him he hurts himself. He doesnt tell me anything. Whenever i am angry he says sorry even its my fault. Bt it hurts me if he hurts himself 4 me. How can i tell him not to hurt himself?
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Maybe you could try telling him that when he hurts himself that it makes you angry. ; ) (((a little bit of reverse psychology))) Tell him that if he doesnt agree with something that happening that he needs to say something because your willing to talk things out but trying to pretend nothing is wrong is not a real relationship. Its fake, and if this relationship has even the slightest chance of working then you have to both be able to communicate about things.
Try to pay closer attention to him for a while after that chat with him and see how he acts. Try to ask him what HE wants when your together and/or out and you have to chose something (like to eat) if he suggests something and your not sure then just TRY giving his idea a shot (you never know you might like it) and its a peek into the things HE likes.
thats just one example but i hope it helps.
good luck ; )
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i have a very lot of anxiety and i worry a lot in our relationship. how do i detach from him? like i want to still love him, but i want to detach in the way where the things he does won't upset me and i could care less and still love him as much as i do now. he doesnt do bad things, its just he chooses games over me sometimes and doesnt do stuff the way thatll make me feel like im important to him. i dont want to try to chahge him to make me happy, so how can i detach where those things wont bother me? can you please give me steps and tips pretty pretty please??? (link)
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Well you dont need to detach in order to not allow the things he does to bother you. If you have your own friends and a life outside of your man then it'll matter LESS because you have other people in your life that make you happy and not just him. Hobbies, friends that are in the same stage in life as you are, and doing things that feed your soul FOR YOU are all very important in life. Not just having a man and putting all your eggs in one basket so to speak. This is why they say that having friends still even if you have a man is so important and now your starting to feel it. Alot of people cant admit that, but if you can, its the first step in changing for the better. We're ALL a constant work in progress and thats never going to change.
Next, you need to talk to him about these things in a serious manner and see what kind of reaction you get from him. If he doesnt take it seriously and blows you off and acts like your over reacting or some other kind typical "guy" response then you know what you need to do next. Its time to reevaluate the relationship. This is the time where you need to decide what kind of a partner you really want.
there are people who do something i like to call "standing still" in life. These people are perfectly OKAY with where they are in life and never want better for themselves. Then theres people who DO, they are always on the look out for the better job, the things that will take them further in life for the betterment of their family and or partner and WANT to provide you with a nice comfortable, happy life. These people encourage their partners (you) to chase your dreams, and think of you when you arent with them if they see something they know you'd love and grab what they see might be an oppertunity FOR YOU even if you arent with them JUST to bring it home for you on the off chance that you just might want to take advantage of it! = )
Thats the kind of partner you should have. Its the kind we all want to look for, and its what you deserve. Dont under value yourself, thats the worst form of self sabotage out there.
Decide who you want to run along side in this jog through life because you only get one shot....will it be the guy who would rather play video games? or will it be the guy who comes home and says "while i was out i saw this and i thought you might love it"???
Partners encourage each other for reach for better even if it means they have to take on longer hours at work so that they can make more money to reach that ultimate dream because NOTHING is permanent in this life, as hard as we might try to keep it that way.
good luck ; )
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So I have this friend let's call her Rebecca whom I was always there for, but she's the type of person to abandon all her friends for her boyfriend. Everytime she and her bf would break up she would call me crying and I would listen. Anyways I have another friend let's call her Carrie, Rebecca and Carroe were really close friends but since Rebecca is glued to her boyfriends hip she told me she hates "Carrie" because she feels like Carrie flirts with her boyfriend. (In Carries defense she's very friendly and anything she does could pass off as flirting) Long story short Carrie and Rebecca stopped talking and Rebecca went on vacation to Colombia. Rebecca recently came back from Colombia now she ignores my texts and Carrie told me Rebecca got her a gift from Colombia. Should I be upset about this? I was always the one there for Rebecca and then she does this. Also btw she never texts me anymore in the first place unless she's on bad terms with her boyfriend when they're on good terms he's the only person she sees. I'm not upset at the fact that she didn't get me a gift, cause I wasn't expecting one but I upset at the fact that she specifically stopped talking to Carrie before her trip, talked behind carries back to everyone, made me make sure Carrie stayed away from her bf, then all of a sudden comes back from her trip with souvenirs for Carrie? That's what upset me the most she was being fake to Carrie but brought her a souvenir and me being always there for her she didn't even bother. What should I do about this situation? I'm always the friend who is always forgotten when it comes to gift giving. Btw we are all 17 & 18 year old high school senior girls (link)
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Ok, ive been through this with several friends and since im an outspoken person and usually know how to talk to many different types of people ive confronted friends on this before and gotten a mix of results so im copying you and breaking this down little by little. i hope this helps.
"So I have this friend let's call her Rebecca whom I was always there for, but she's the type of person to abandon all her friends for her boyfriend. Every time she and her bf would break up she would call me crying and I would listen."
Okay if you feel like she only ever calls you after shes broken up with a guy maybe you should talk to her about this and just ask her out right (not in a mean way) but saying something like "hey i have a question and i dont want you to take it in the wrong way but its something ive noticed and been curious about it for a while..." and then say "how come you never really call me unless your going through something?....like with a guy youve just been with?"
And just see what she says? she might feel like theres something about you that makes her feel like she can trust you or that shes able to come to you with things like that because youll understand. You could tell her that you DO understand and that your more then willing to listen as a friend but that you guys never do anything other then that!"
"Anyways I have another friend let's call her Carrie, Rebecca and Carroe were really close friends but since Rebecca is glued to her boyfriends hip she told me she hates "Carrie" because she feels like Carrie flirts with her boyfriend. (In Carries defense she's very friendly and anything she does could pass off as flirting) Long story short Carrie and Rebecca stopped talking and Rebecca went on vacation to Colombia. Rebecca recently came back from Colombia now she ignores my texts and Carrie told me Rebecca got her a gift from Colombia. Should I be upset about this? I was always the one there for Rebecca and then she does this."
Maybe while she was away she realized she was being too harsh with this mutual friend of yours and wanted to make amens with her and did it out of guilt to make HERSELF feel better......thats just an idea idk.
"Also btw she never texts me anymore in the first place unless she's on bad terms with her boyfriend when they're on good terms he's the only person she sees."
Know this about your friend NOW before she calls you again. She is going to continue to go through this kinda stuff until she learns that she cannot put ALL her happiness into one person. It doesnt matter if your in a relationship or not you will always be let down if you cant make yourself happy ASIDE from a relationship with a guy. She makes him her whole world until they get sick of each other and cant take it anymore and then the flame burns out sooner then it should or could have because they smothered each other. some people just never learn and this may be something she will have to learn the hard way.
"I'm not upset at the fact that she didn't get me a gift, cause I wasn't expecting one but I upset at the fact that she specifically stopped talking to Carrie before her trip, talked behind carries back to everyone, made me make sure Carrie stayed away from her bf, then all of a sudden comes back from her trip with souvenirs for Carrie? That's what upset me the most she was being fake to Carrie but brought her a souvenir and me being always there for her she didn't even bother. What should I do about this situation? I'm always the friend who is always forgotten when it comes to gift giving. Btw we are all 17 & 18 year old high school senior girls"
Ok next time, i think the goal you need to reach for here is NOt to be sucked into doing your friend bidding for them. Its not YOUR job to keep someone away from your friends boyfriend because of THEIR insecurities. If she doesnt like a certain female about her man then thats something SHE needs to deal with. If shes adult enough to be dating then shes adult enough to deal with what also comes with that.
What she just did was USE you like a tool or a puppet to make things be the way SHE wanted them to be and even though you may care for her and want to do your friend a simple favor, what shes asking you do to do is not your place or your problem. You need to tell someone when they ask you to do something like that for them that if they have an issue with someone then thats something they need to take up with that person and to not put YOU in the middle of it because as a FRIEND thats not fair. ; )
good luck
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Do you guys think if a 13 year old is talking to or dating a 15 year old is it ok
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Well, to ME that depends on their personalities. Alot of times, girls mature faster than boys so their a bit more adept at things and can often times be good judges of character.
I think so long as their intentions are both good, and no one is trying to pressure anyone into doing anything they dont want to do then i dont see a problem no.
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i am lost as to what to do. I am 18 years old, i live with my parents and two brothers in a small house that we are renting. My parents are over $20,000 in debt and have been for over 20 years. They work good paying jobs but about 3/4 of the money goes to bills and rent. Theyve basically given up paying off the debt and keep making purchases without any care. what can i do to get them to realize that they cant just give up? they are going to be retiring soon but with all this debt i dont know whats going to happen.. (link)
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Have you spoken to them about simply filing for bankruptcy? My husband did it before we got married and after five years its not even on your record anymore, their credit they'll be able to restart if they want or just swear off credit cards all together. For them that might be the best option.
Tell them that all the debt would be erased in five years, and if they have nothing to show for it (like a house they own or a car thats over a certain amount and older then 5 years) then they have nothing to worry about. Nothing can be taken from them and you all will just resume your normal lives like nothing ever happened. The only down size is that you cant buy a new car right now, or do anything that requires you to have credit (which for them is probably a good thing anyway) After which they can take this time to think about how they could have better spent their money. Its a chance to start over.
All my husband did after was call to make sure that the bankruptcy had been removed and would not show up on his credit. He did this online without any help and it was relatively easy to do.
I agree with dragon fly about spending less during this time, saving, and checking out thrift stores more often (maybe not ALL THE TIME) cause i feel that everyone deserves to treat themselves to something nice and new every once in a while. Even if its just a new shirt or a decent pair of shoes, but if you go to thrift stores that are in the better parts of your town then you'll be more likely to find better quality or new to NEW condition stuff!
My hubby makes good money with his job, and we still choose to shop thrift stores as much as we can, only we go to the richer areas of town for this. I have a huge sectional couch i got for 70 bucks thats in brand new condition and WHY do you ask? well i found out through the staff that someone rich had passed away and the persons family decided to donate alot of their things to their store! these kinds of things happen all the time all over the place. So just continue to browse the thrift stores, returning every so often to see what new things they have and eventually youll find some good stuff!
Go with your mom when she food shops. start going to grocery stores that are cheaper, not places like ralphs or vons. Try food 4 less or the canned food store. Buy more things to make at home, make large stews or batches of pasta that you can store and eat later.
Try brewing your own iced tea in large batches so that your only paying for the tea bags themselves and maybe the fresh water (if you buy bottled water that is)
Start recycling your cans. Go through you whole house with a trash bag and start crushing and saving the cans until the bag is full, then take it to be recycled so that you can get some extra money for that.
Sell anything you guys dont want or need thats just kinda around the house and/or taking up space.
and thats just the tip of the iceberg that i can help you with right now. If you need more help feel free to pm me, these are just some of the ways my family lives.
good luck ; )
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For Christmas I received a $60 gift card. I've never shipped at PacSun before because the cost of the clothes are a little too expensive for me. Now that I have the gift card I want to spend it wisely. So do you have any essentials that I can buy from there? Like a pair of jeans or something like that. (link)
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Well the problem here is that it isnt really about what WE all thing you should buy from there, i would think the issue would be what do YOU NEED that you could put the gift card TOWARDS at the store in question.
SO....What do you need? Pants? shirts? take a little extra money with you just incase theres an item you want that cost a little more then whats on the the card.
then just find something you like as your wandering around! take you time and if you DONT find anything you like then leave, or see if you can get the money back for the card.
; )
Good luck
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