I'm a 17 year old girl who has had her share of problems. So I'll do my best to answer questions and you can leave a question anytime in my inbox. :)
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Member Since: October 31, 2010
Answers: 211
Last Update: January 5, 2012
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bewise
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I just started dating this guy like a week and a half ago, and his birthday is right around Christmas. We've been friends since the start of the school year, but I don't know if I'm supposed to get him a present...? We are only 14, and not very serious yet. Any advice? Do I need to get him something, and if so, what are some ideas? Thanks. (link)
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You should get him something. Not too much but something to show you care. I'm sure he'd appreciate it.
Maybe get him a card and something you know he likes. Sports stuff, t shirt, hat, or anything close to that.
If you really can't find anything. A gift card is always nice with some candy.
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Hi, I'm 14 and recently started dating one of my really good male friends. I really like him, and want to stay with him for a while. But I have had a crush on another guy who I've talked to like four times the whole year, and it didn't subside when this guy asked me out...but I had a crush on him too. What I'm saying is, is it ok for me to have a crush on someone else while I'm dating someone I like as well, as long as I don't make a move on this crush? I barely talk to this crush and there is no action between us, but I can't help liking him as well as my boyfriend. Is this okay? (link)
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Ok in my opinion, I think it's fine. Only as long as it doesn't interfere with your relationship with your current boyfriend. Like as long as you don't spend a lot of time with the other guy, or try to get with him or hook up with him or anything it should be ok because maybe those feelings will go away. You also wouldn't want to lose your boyfriend just because you have a petty crush on some other boy you barely talk to right?
If this guy is always on your mind when you're with your boyfriend, then you have a problem but if not, you should be fine.
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Okay well let me start off to say im 16 years old and I haven't had a boyfriend in two years after I broke up with a guy after a year relationship. The guy he was and usually what I go after is I guess like a jock you can say, but they always end up being a asshole. However, that's the kind of guys my dad like to see me with too. One whose out going, athletic, and all of that kind of traits. I been told that I'm really pretty not trying to sound concieted, but this goes on with my story. Anyhow there's this guy I went out with a few times. His totally not what I'm use too what so ever his more like the nerdy side I guess you can say. He met my parents today and of course I can tell my dad didn't like him so much. I have fun when I'm with him though and maybe being different is a good thing, but at the same time I feel like I can do better. I don't want to lead this kid on though thinking he has a chance which I don't even know if he might. It's kind of like the movie she's out of my league and that's what I keep telling myself. Maybe I should give him a chance, or what? (link)
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Well if you think you can do better because he is on the nerdy side and isn't a football player then you shouldn't be leading him on.
I'm just saying, just cause he is a bit of a nerd doesn't mean he's not good enough. He's probably better than a lot of other guys out there.
Anyways, you can do whatever you want but if you're gonna keep thinking that, you shouldn't date him.
If you realize that he might not be too bad, then yeah, give him a chance. You might end up really liking him. If you have fun with him and he's a good guy who will treat you right and has good qualities, why not give him a chance?
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So, i have a friend lets call him Johnny, hes a complete sweetheart, hes such a gentleman, were really good friends, before he didnt seem into me, then randomly out of a sudden he asked for my number,asked me to text him, and always asked to call me, that is when we started becoming really close friends, he says he doesnt want a commited relationship because his previous one he was really commited in , she left him and broke his heart.. but whenever were out hell hold my hand when were sittin down , trying to be sneaky til he grabs my whole palm and puts our fingers between eachother, and honestly.. i know i shouldnt be letting him but like it gets so akward.. i dont know how to move until i fake something like "i need to get something from my bag" or reach over to get water, but whenever i let go he just seems to do it again whatever chance he gets, he sweet talks me alot, buys me credit to call him, opens the door for me when i get out of the car or in the car, carries my bag for me, hes a total sweetheart, now my point of this story is basically, his best friend which is my sisters boyfriend says that he isnt the kind of guy they think i should date, hes a GOOD person.. they say, but he isnt for me.. they think its because he does things with girls and all that.. but to me he seems so respectful, never crosses limits and treats me great. they tell me i should limit myself from him because they know the kind of guy he is and they dont want him to pull anything on me, johnny says im so diffrent than any other girl he knows, and that im so innocent and he loves it, because all the girls he knows do the wrong things.
But i really dont know, should i limit myself from him. that way i dont fall for someone that is jus gonna break my heart?
Or should i just not listen to his best friend and continue what im doing? and another question is, its not my fault right.. i usually dont let guys hold my hand unless im with them, but i didnt know how to move it, i didnt want it to get akward , i didnt wanna come off as rude, esp that hes my really good friend and hes such a sweetheart.
thank you, please no rude answers, i didnt ask a stupid question, atleast i dont think so. :) (link)
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My advice would be to listen to his best friend. He probably knows him better than you do. Even though you might be really starting to like him, he could be trouble. Plus he's not looking for a relationship anyways, or a committed one at least.
I used to always just date the guy that I liked and didn't get any advice or listen to anything people told me about the person. I should have, it was so stupid of me.
Whenever I think that I want to date someone I ask my parents, friends, and their friends to see what they think of them. If I did it all by myself, I could get myself into trouble and only have the side I see of him.
That's why its better to listen to what some people say.
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Okay so my mom is all old fashion and doesn't let me do anything. But I really want to dye my hair. She says it will damage my hair so I'm like FINE whatever! So then I found out about dying my hair with kool-aid but she still wont give in I'm soooo mad about it. So what should I do I'm 12 I'm not a child anymore! (link)
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You should listen to what your mom says. You are still a child, you're only 12. Dying your hair with kool aid still isn't good for your hair. Just act a little more grown up by listening to her. If you weren't acting like a child you probably wouldn't be acting immature about the whole idea.
So just wait and then when you're older and still want to dye your hair, then you can. But right now, you're under your moms rules so just go with it.
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Me and my boyfriend been together for 7 months now but i just dont know if i want to be with him or not anymore. I mean i do love him dont get me wrong there. What do i do?
I'm 15 and hes 16. (link)
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If you're not happy then you guys shouldn't be together. What are your reasons you don't want to be with him anymore? If they are serious then you definitely should end it but if it's more like you're bored with the relationship, you could save it by finding things to do that you both don't usually do. Like going out different places instead of the usual hanging out you guys might do.
If you completely get tired of it, holding onto the relationship will probably make it worse and it'll be harder for you to let go even though you don't want it anymore.
You're probably just really comfortable and those crazy feelings you had in the beginning of the relationship started fading away. It happens a lot but it's your choice whether to stay in the relationship or not.
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18/f. We ended up dating for several months and I broke it off about 6 months ago but we've been friends for about 1 year and a half. I was the one to end things with him because he was lying to me over and over again (about him and his ex and other important things) we stopped talking for a couple of months until one day he called me out of the blue. we tried talking things out but it didn't work so we agreed to being friends. He ended up transferring to my school and I see him every weekday. From the first day I seen him after the break up to a couple of weeks ago I would get irritated with everything he did, the way he talked, the way he looked at me, the way he talked. he used to tell me i wasn't "allowed to talk to other guys" and I started detaching myself from him. We're friends now and we talk every once in a while but for the past week or so, every time I'm not with him I miss everything about him. I miss just having him around me or simply hearing his voice and I'm not sure why. I know I do not want to go out with him because there's too much baggage but why all of a sudden do i miss him? how can i stop myself from missing him? I've tried distracting myself and keeping busy but no matter what I'm doing his always on the back of my mind and it's really starting to bother me. Have any of you ever felt this way towards an ex? how did you guys deal with it? (link)
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I agree with the person below me. I use to get irritated so much about everything my ex did. I just had to keep getting irritated and angry to get completely over him. It's gonna take a while for you to completely get over all of it but it will happen eventually. Just keep doing what you're doing with trying to stay busy. All you're doing is missing the old him and all the sweet things about your relationship. You don't really miss him. You miss his voice because it was something you had loved and it reminds you of the good times. You already know you don't want him back so just keep telling yourself that.
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My bf is coming over tomarrow and just a while ago he asked me if we could have sex i was gonna hang up but then i startled and said yes! He got happy and said he loves me and wont try to hurt me then he said he was coming over tomarrow! should i trust him ? Should i have sex with him? Im a 13 yr old girl and my bf is 16...and plz no hurtful words i just need advice! :3 thnxs (link)
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You shouldn't do it. You're only 13. You can wait to have sex. Just because you two have sex doesn't mean he really loves you. You could end up getting really hurt by him or end up pregnant if something goes wrong. Plus, you are questioning whether or not you want to do it. You're scared and you're not ready. It can leave a huge emotional impact on you too, and at 13, you can't be ready to handle that alone. Just wait till you're older with someone you truly love and can fully trust. If you do it now, you'll probably end up regretting it.
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15f here. Well let's just start off with this I'm not attractive. I'm a little overweight nag I keep gaining more. I have never had a boyfriend/first kiss. The closest I've got with a guy was 2010 summer but we just randomly stopped talk ing no reason why. I allways blame myself for that I should have took more chances. I miss just talking about random stuff with a boy its nice to know someone cares. I'm not happy and I want to be friends with more guys. I still have feelings for that one guy but I do like other people but not As much as him. I act sorta tough. I allways feel like I'm wasting my life alone.noone understands my life style. I never asked to be like this. I'm not a bad person but I feel like I am bc I'm allways bringing myself down. I just want to be that same old happy girl who is courageous and brave. I try so hard to not care what others think. (link)
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Well what I've learned when I was in that state where I'd get really upset about who I am, I try to change the things that bother me. You said you're a little overweight, then you should work on trying to lose some. Plus working out makes you feel better. Just try to be positive about things, it will get better. And about the whole boys thing, you're only 15 so you have so many years to find a guy. Don't stress out about getting a boyfriend or having your first kiss. Sometimes those kinds of things get in the way and cause problems and stress you don't need. Just enjoy where you are right now and work on yourself first.
If you don't love yourself, then it's going to be hard for a guy to love you too.
So work on yourself and your confidence then worry about the boys.
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I've been dating my boyfriend for a year. Over the course of the relationship we've generally been happy, but have had our ups and downs. Sometimes (i guess due to being in contact 24/7) i feel as if i almost take him for granted in a way and start to get REALLY fed up with him. Lately i just feel like he says something that offends me every day, and he's kind of being insensitive towards me. I feel like I'm partially taking things too personally since I've just been annoyed with him in general. I think it's a little bit of both of us. This has happened before and it always goes away within a few weeks or less, but right now, Im not sure how to handle it. He's driving me up a wall and talking to him the last week has been less than pleasant. I've brought up so many things that have irked me in the last few days that I'm pretty sure he's done taking me seriously. How should i deal with this?
ps. we took a break a few months ago, and everything was AMAZING right after because of the whole "you want what you cant have". now its kind of settled out and i want to feel like he needs me the way i need him (link)
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It's probably because you guys are around each other so much. You were happy during that break and after it but now that you spend so much time together, you've been getting irritated. I'd take some space and do other things that don't involve him all the time.
If it still bothers you so much, you guys probably shouldn't be together. Because if you're getting irritated so much then this relationship probably won't last.
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Sarah, female, 23 yrs old
There is a friend that I have known for two years. We started working together and became fast friends. He is a really silly guy and always cracked jokes to make our time at work fun. The thing is, eventually, he started cracking jokes about us being a real couple one day. I didn't take it seriously and just brushed it off. Surprisingly, these jokes didn't stop. He kept this going on for almost an entire year. After people began to ask questions about the nature of our relationship, I started to wonder if he was really being serious. I wasn't too worried about it and figured even if he did like me, he would never have the guts to actually tell me. To my surprise, almost a year after wondering if he really liked me, he asked me out. We were standing outside after work when he asked me. I so shocked and caught off guard that I just looked at him and said, "Well... you're a really good friend". He seemed sad after I said this and looked down at the floor. It was unexpected and I wasn't sure what to say, I just said whatever came to my mind. It's not that I don't like him but I realized early on that he was not the usual type I go for. Even though I love funny guys, I've never gone out with someone as silly as him. I have flirted with him in the past just for fun and he with me, but I never thought it would turn into something complicated. But after that incident I started thinking about what happened and questioned if I should actually give him a chance. He is a funny, sweet, caring, charismatic person and I enjoy spending time with him. He is NOT the typical guy go I for but dating only my type hasn't exactly been a positive experience for me. I've been wondering lately if I should give him a chance and just throw the type thing out of the window. I do like him and care alot about him and do see many qualities that I want in a boyfriend in him. But I worry about crossing that line and destroying my friendship with him by pursuing a relationship with him that might fail. I don't want to lose a good friend but at the same time, I'm scared that if I don't give him a chance I might miss out on a great guy. What should I do? Should I pursue something with him or not even take a chance? Please help! (link)
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It actually seems like you want to be with him. The one thing you're actually worried about is ruining the friendship but also possibly missing out on something great. If I were you, I'd take the chance. You also said he has qualities you're looking for in a boyfriend so that's a plus. Types don't really matter. You are into him at least a little bit. You even said your type of guy hasn't been a positive experience so taking a chance might just be worth the risk.
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if your x boyfriend kisses you months after we break p and says he wants you back what should i say? (link)
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It depends on how you feel about him and if you want to be with him again. It also depends on the reason why you guys broke up. If he hurt you, then it's possible it could happen again. If you have feelings for him, then think about it for a little bit so that you won't make the same mistake twice. Good luck!
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I have a boyfriend, we've been going out for a year and I've been noticing he's been acting different like lets say one of his friends said something rude shit to me and he was there and he didn't say anything to him, but when someone is talking shit to him, he expects me to defend him. I always do defend him though. There was one time i didn't say anything when this guy said something insulting to him and i expected him to say something back, but no he didn't say anything O.o and he got mad at me I've also notice that he gets angry when i hang out with my brothers whom I'm very close with. I hang with him and his friends and he would pull me aside and tell me that he doesn't like a certain person in our group because he thinks he likes me or some bull shit. Then at the end of the day he is buddy buddy with him. O.o Isn't that what you call a two face? I don't know, like I don't think i should try to make this work. He pretty much went over the line when he gets mad at me for hanging with family? Think i should ditch the guy? (link)
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Well you're not happy. There is a huge chance that he just won't change and he's just gonna try to control everything you do. You can sit down and talk to him about it and see if he decides to change but if he doesn't, this guy is not worth it. He's especially not worth it if he's trying to take you away from your family.
I'd say leave him now or talk to him, but there probably won't be a lot of change in him, just arguing so it's your choice.
Good luck
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Hello,
I'm 19 and i've been with my boyfriend almost 7 months, i'm not considering having sex as of now unless it's over a year. I never wanted to lose it unless I got married because I am religious. I've been in other relationships, however i've never had to think twice about whether I want to do it before or after marriage and this guy i've loved him for a while we knew each for about a year before we dating and i always liked him and when we began dating my feelings grew much stronger. Long story short would you guys have sex before marriage or do you think it's too big of a sin to? also because i'm relgious I was wondering can you still go church after having sex before marriage without it being wrong? sorry if it's complicated i'm so confused apart of me wants to do it but religion is holding me back. (link)
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Well my opinion is that if your religion is holding you back and you hold strong to that, then just wait. If you really want to do it and you have thought about it long and hard and you feel like you're ready, then go ahead.
I feel like you can still go to church after you have had sex before marriage. Nobody is perfect and no one that goes to your church is perfect either.
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Last year, I made a Facebook account and was proud of it, until now. I have about a hundred or so friends online but none offline. I feel kinda ashamed because people might wonder why an outcast like me would make an fb account. So should I delete my account or what? (link)
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You should keep your account. I have about 275 friends on facebook. Half of them I don't really talk to. Most of them are just people I'm acquaintances with but I wouldn't call them my friend. I have about 15 or 20 actual people I would consider friends on my facebook. The rest I'm just friendly with.
You shouldn't care about what other people think anyways. If you like facebook then keep it. Don't let other people control what you want to do.
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People like my eyes, they say I talk, but not a lot, and really nice. My hair just gets in the way of everything though, poofy/wavyish. I just want more friends to hang out and talk with though. (link)
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Looks aren't really even that important when you make friends. Well it helps a little if you look nice and presentable so that the people you're talking to aren't a little thrown off. If you're nice and friendly, you can make friends easily.
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I have a crush on nine boys. They're all the playboy-kind, and really good-looking. So I'm like crazy about them. My parents were kinda cool about it for a while, but now they're acting like, "If you say another word about boys or boyfriends or jealousy or soft lips or whatever, we'll decide to just home-school you!" They say that it's unhealthy for a fourteen-year-old girl. Help, I don't know what to do with them! Shouldn't they be more understanding? (link)
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You probably just talk about boys a lot and you might not even realize it. It is a little bit weird to have a crush on nine boys. I've never liked that many guys at one time but I think they're just being parents. You should probably just watch what you say around them.
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So, I'm an exchange student from Brazil, living with a family in the U.S. in the family there are two kids, a girl my age, and a boy 2 years younger than me... well one of his older friends has come over a few times, and we've hooked up twice... but since the last time we hooked up he hasn't come over... he plays hockey and soccer everyday after school, and we also go to two different schools... the second time we hooked up we went a little bit further than I wanted too... after that we cuddled and he would stoke my cheek and brush my hair off my face, and from time to time he would kiss my forehead, or kiss my cheek, occasionally he would turn my head and kiss me on the lips.
some of my friends say he likes me and some say he doesn't... I don't know what to do, because he acts as if he likes me whenever he's around me... but when we were taking my host brother to school, my host mom said the guy I hooked up with has a crush on a girl, that hugs him all the time, that doesn't go to the same school as him... but then she told us her name, but a couple of weeks ago, my host parents asked me really weird questions involving him, and they're like oh I think he has a crush on you...
I need help! how can I find out if he likes me or not?? (link)
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That's hard to tell. He probably likes you at least a little bit but it also seems like he just wants a girl to mess around with.
He's obviously interested in you because other people are noticing that. We just don't know what his actual intentions are.
Just talk to him and find out what he says.
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hi, me and my boyfriend been dating for fourteen months and we live together. it's just that, sometimes when he sees me texting, he asks me, who's that? you texting your boyfriend? and i told him that's very mean thing to say as u r my boyfriend, and he goes and laugh, says he's only joking. he also says, he doesn't care who i text and he's not bothered but still keeps asking who am i texting. guys, so is he jealous or just winding me up? thank you all. (link)
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He could be just joking around because he's nosy. It seems more like he's trying to get you to pay more attention to him instead of texting during that time or something. My boyfriend talked to me about that because he felt awkward when I'm texting when I'm with him.
If it bothers you just tell him to stop asking or something.
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My boyfriend really thinks im am or going to cheat on him and sometimes it makes me want to give up on us. Some people say it could be him cheating but dont want to be the only one doing wrong. I hope hes not and know i love him so much. What u think? (link)
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He could be cheating or he's just really paranoid.
You need to sit and talk with him and tell him what you feel about this and that he needs to trust you. You guys can't be together if there is no trust. It will just cause problems and you both won't be happy.
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