Ask me anything, but I prefer questions about menstruation, spirituality, feminism, and history.
However, since there are so many confuzzled, "shy," young women out there, I usually end up answering questions about dating.
Website: MySpace E-mail: kleokriesel@hotmail.com Gender: Female Location: I'm from Chicago, but I go to school in Milwuakee Occupation: student Age: 21 AIM: kleokriesel Member Since: March 4, 2005 Answers: 177 Last Update: February 12, 2007 Visitors: 11147
Main Categories: Activism Spirituality School View All
Favorite Columnists spacefem FernGully
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so wen i swallow my right tonsil hurts only & there is a red bump on it. also, i know this is gross but i was having trouble breathing...and like i finally spit up this loogey and it was kinda bloody and brown and little green
i havent had a good appetite lately either?
wats wrong? (link)
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Go ask a doctor
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THe guy I like asked me to my high school's Winter Semi-Formal. I'm very happy about it, we have so much fun together. The only problem is that i don't know how to slow-dance with him? How do i do it without looking like an idiot? I want to be close to him because i don't want to look like I just came from middle school. HELP! (link)
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Just watch what others are doing, it's pretty simple.
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this is weird but i am 14 and the girth of my penis is only 1.5 inches when will it get wider? (link)
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It will gradually get wider until you're about 18 or 19.
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I was taking a shower a few hours ago and when I got out, I went to turn the heater off because it felt like it was getting a little too warm in the bathroom I was in. When I got out of the shower and went to turn it off, I all of a sudden got extremely dizzy, and from the corners of my peripheral vision started seeing fuzzy, green optical illusions until I couldn't see anything, which was terrifying...my head started to hurt really badly, and when I could see again, the bathroom light was off. I was still standing in the same position and everything but I couldn't remember turning the light off. What could have possibly happened? What could have caused this? Please help? (link)
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As your parents if there is a history of blood pressure problems in their families. I have Vagal Response, something very similar to what you describe; when I'm overstimulted (such as in a really warm, steamy bathroom after a shower), my blood pressure drops - because the blood pressure in your head is lower, you get dizzy and lose use of your senses temporarily. Not remembering doing something is pretty common too.
Your should, however, see a doctor about this. Talk to your parents first because he/she will probably ask about family history.
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ihad sex about three weeks ago and he used a condom. But i usualy have my period either the 20th-21st of every month and this month i missed it.
*im pretty sure the condom didnt break but when he pulled out the condom was like half way off.
so my question is should i take a test tomorrow ( which is kinda what i was planning on doing ) or do i just wait?
thanks (link)
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Definitely take a test right away
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I go to a school OBSESSED with sports.
We win everything, every sport..you know. Anyway, people take gym wicked intense. I dont know why? I have never been a gym fanatic, being a girl. This semester, I have to play volleyball and I cant. Literally, I am so bad! I cant even hit it over the net and I duck when the ball comes towards me. Any advice on this and how to make it seem less like I cant play? Laughing with my friends isnt working, its just making me look like a flake. But not being able to play well is embarassing. (link)
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Firstly, don't excuse your lack of athletic interest on being a girl.
Weight training would definitely increase your strength. Do push-ups, lift weights, and stretch your upper body. Three hours a week will help. If your school has a fitness center or weight room, use it.
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14/m
Ok so me and my gf were having sex and i thought that i could hold off from cumming but it was so good that we couldnt stop and i gizzed in her, and i wasnt wearing a condom. Could she be pregnant? (link)
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YES!!! She could be pregnant!!! Even if you hadn't ejaculated inside her, she could be pregnant because sperm come out of the penis before orgasm. She should go to the nearest Planned Parenthood and tell them everything in as much detail and she should go NOW.
From now on, either wear a condom or don't have sex.
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ok so one of my best friends is jamie. jamie and alex(who is a boy) like each other but they're not going out because jamie doesnt like him that much. she still likes him though. well alex and i talk and flirt alot and i think i'm starting to really like him. i can't do anything because of jamie though and i dont know why this is happenign! i feel like such a bad person. what do i do? (link)
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You're not a bad person for being attracted to Alex, but you should ask Jamie how she would feel if you went out with him. If she would be uncomfortable, then find another guy unless you're willing to betray her.
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ugh this sounds so wrong, and im so embarrased to write this. here goes.
i'm 13, and for a long time i've been.. well.. touching myself, and I guess masterbating. ever since I was like 5 or 6. I have no idea how it started.. and I didnt know what I was doing then, but I felt like it was horrendously wrong. Even now I do. I'm pretty ashamed of it, and I wish I hadnt done this so young, and learned some other things from bad places on the internet. I dont do the other things, but I know they're there. I'd rather be blissfully unaware till I was an adult and could handle it. But apparently I already know, and I dont wanna know any more. anyway, with the masterbating thing, i'd get some sort of object.. like cushions (i'd put them in the washer after), once a barbie doll (yes. i know. but im not a lesbo, I was like 8.), and like teddybears and stuff. It feels good, and sometimes I get horny and feel like doing it. All the time say it will be the last time, but its never the last time. I end up doing it again. So far, nobody has caught me or even known about it for all these years... I've been keeping it a secret. It even feels weird to post it here.. I've never told anyone about this, because I've been afraid... I mean.. how would they react? they'll think I'm some dirty little girl.. which is not how I act, though sometimes I may think a perverted thought.. because well.. I've heard it from other people online and IRL so I knew what they meant. I just dont know what to do.. I dont wanna like confess it to the world.. and im not even sure confessing it during church (which I hardly go to, because of my family's busy schedule.. but I wish I did. and im a christian.). its kinda scary.. because i doubt other kids do it, or even know what it is at my age (except for alot of boys) so at times i feel kinda... like.... wacko, and not normal. i know nobody is normal, but.. seriously nobody else really does this.. unless they keep it a secret, but I kinda doubt it. also, i forgot to say, that i got my period like right after my 10th birthday. I had it like a couple months before we had the talk about "periods and puberty" and stuff.. so I had no idea what I'd done, when I went to the bathroom and found blood in my pants. I thought that I either burst my bladdar, or it was because of me like.. humping stuff. then I had a problem with having really long periods lasting like more than week, so I went to the doctor, and the doctor and my mom asked if I'd put anything up "down there" or anything.. and I'm like "no", but I felt kinda pressured, like at any moment my cover would be blown. its so crazy.. i could go on about that.. but this is getting long already. sorry if i like disgusted you or anything, but like thanks alot for your help with your reply.
also, how do you know if your cherry has popped? could it happen from like.. doing what I've been doing? I hope not! I wanna be a virgin till I'm married.. (link)
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This is not unusual at all. I go to gurl.com, a website for teen girls (I'm 21) just to answer questions like this and I've read dozens of stories from them just like this.
Your hymen can break from masterbation, but it doesn't mean you're not a virgin. Hymens break from all sorts of things: tampons, masterbation, horseback riding. You lose your virginity when you have sex and that's it.
When you're in high school, you'll hear people talk about this more and you'll relax about it.
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How do you know if you're a lesbo? (link)
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Firstly, "lesbo" is a very offensive term.
Ok, if you feel like you can emotionally relate to women and not men and if you're attracted to women much more than men, then you are probably a lesbian. There is a great book, "The Girls Next Door" by Pamela Robin Brandt and Linsdey Van Gelder that describes it.
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I've decided that I want to go to a community college before going to a 4 year college, but my mom said no when I suggested it. I know it's my decision, but if I decide to take that route, my mom might make me pay rent, or she may not help out with tuition. What to do? (link)
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You could have people from both several community colleges and some 4 year colleges talk to your mom, reassure her that it's not a bad idea.
About the rent, shop around to see if you can move in with others for a similar price.
And with tuition, scholarships and loans! That's how I'm getting through college!
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There are these really mean girls in my first people. I just started a new school last Wednesday and they were spitting stuff at me and calling me ugly and stuff. [btw i know i'm not ugly]. Anyways, they were being super nasty to me and I just kind of ignored it.
Another girl came in the next day, but she wasn't new, she was just absent the day before. I made friends with her and she told me they were being like that because I was sitting by a girl they hated, Tori. So, the next day I sit away from Tori and they are okay with me.
But now, it seems like they are planning something, or something like that. I was passing notes with the new friend [who's friends with them], and they asked her "is she scared of us?" and stuff and my new friend said "no, she just doesnt want yall treating her badly."
now, they wrote a note to me saying OHH YOU ARE SO AWESOME stuff like that.
so now i'm really scared, because my new "friend" wants me to hang out with her, but i'm afraid they are gonig to do something because they seem SOO fake.
so, two questions.
1. if they keep being mean to me, how do i handle it?
2. does it seem like they are doing something? or are trying to be nice?
please help, cuz i'm kinda scared.
thanks :\ (link)
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Just stay away from them, make friends who aren't involved with any of them, and talk to a trusted teacher or guidance counselor if they spit anymore.
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this did not happen to me but im just curious. if someone like fingers you or something against your will [say if youre drunk or even if youre not] is it still considered rape? (link)
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As a lesbian, I would definitely say yes.
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Say theres this one girl that you like alot [this is a friendship question by the way.. im not gay.. or something] but sometimes she can be really slutty & kinda annoying.. & none of your other friends really like her too much.
but your other friends love you & you like them alot too. you have alot of fun with your group of friends & do alot more with them & are just more like you.
But, the other girl.. doesn't have very many friends, & you feel bad ditching her.. just to stay w/ the other friends.
what would you do? (link)
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You could explain to her that her behavior is making you reconsider your friendship. Keep track of some specific things she has done and tell her how they make you feel. If she says she wants to improve, tell her you'll help her if she really does make an effort.
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i go to an all girls boarding school and there is such a double standard! it is strictly prohibited for any of us to bring our boyfriends to the dorm buildings when they visit, like we'll get in serious trouble, even if we don't do anything like have sex or anything up there. there are some lesbians at my school, and i'm not against them or anything, but it gets really annoying because they are always sleeping with each other and in each other's room!
how is them having sex at school different then us? faculty and teachers know about it but they pretend they don't!
do you guys think this is gross? and what should i do???!
it's not fair! (link)
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It's not gross, but it is unfair. I doubt there is anything that can be done about it, though.
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Are there any ideas in theories concerning relativity and the universe that at the end of eternity, time goes back to the beginning and starts all over again, following the same timeline of events?
I read about something like that a few years ago and was wondering if it had any base at all. (link)
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I know that such theories exist, but I don't know much about them. I pondered about this and discovered that there are several well-known theories related to it:
Matter and energy can be neither created nor destroyed, so all that exists now always has and always will exist. All the mass of the planets has always existed and everything we have created only adds to that mass. The forces that drive gravity, heat, light, etc. always exist in some form. There was no beginning and there will be no end; the universe as we know it is only one universe in a series of universes. Everything expanding and contracting in an infinite series of Big Bangs is like all of space breathing. In and out.
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I am 13/F and not the best christian. I dont go to church but I do pray everynight. Well on Sunday my brother's best friend asked me out and I thought he was joking so I quickly and coldy said No way! Then that night I really liked a guy and foolishly prayed "lord, I know I havent been the best but please you know how much I like him could you please somehow influence him to ask me out? Ill pay the price like......you can make this week torture for me if he just does that one thing" then I went on with the prayer. Now me and the guy WERE really good friends. Then on Monday he got mad at me for no reason and one time when we were shoving eachother in the snow he just yelled "STOP FLIRTING WITH ME!" I was taken back but not too mad. Then everyone starts calling me names and a looser and stuff for no reason. I get really confused cause im actually very popular. Then I find out I failed a Math Test! I have been a straight A student since grade 1 and have NEVER failed a test. Then at lunch since I forgot my lunch the guys start calling me anorexic. I also got tripped in the hall and other stuff. On the busride home the busdriver said she couldnt see me in my seat and gave me a checkmark for it! The next day my best guy friend got mad at me for not telling him who I liked. In the end I gave him a note (a VERY sincere note) saying how I thought that there was no need to ask and he didnt need to know and how it didnt matter who I liked because im ugly and not like girlfriend material like my best girlfriend and how I was happy he was my friend and I considered him my best guy friend. also on that day the rumors kept going on and getting meaner and on the busride home I got another check mark for being a little late even though my teacher kept us in 5 minutes after the last bell. Then today I find out the guyfriend thinks im a freak and I scare him. These guys shove me to the ground and kick tons of snow in my face for a long time (they like held me down) then someone found my agenda and said that on the frontpage it says im in love with this one guy and how I think he really likes me and when I go to prove he's lying its written there in MY handwriting in ink. So now that guy thinks im a freak. My best guyfriend told people what I thought about myself so now everyones bugging me about it. I sat in gum wearing my favourite jeans and I got a third checkmark which means im getting a bus write-up in the morning. What is happening to me? Is he seeing if I can take the week or is he punishing me or what?! (link)
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I don't think that God is punishing you or testing you, I think that maybe God is showing you that there are more important things to be praying about than a date.
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I keep pondering whether God is supporting homosexuality, or opposing it. Many of my Christian friends have told me it's a sin to be homosexual, or bisexual for that matter, and according to the bible marriage is between a man and a woman. However, I always viewed it as God would accept you no matter who you are, or what you believe in. I am wondering which side I should take. I am not against homosexuality/bisexuality at all. I am befriended with many of them, and they don't bother me. It's just I am not sure which side is right, and which side I should go for. I need explainations on which side is better, even if it's based on opinion. Thanks in advance! (link)
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This is a purely subjective decision, you need to decide for yourself.
As a lesbian, I can tell you that anti-gay Christians do more harm than good.
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I posted another question a few days ago about my Dad. But, for I think four or five years, I've been praying that my Dad would stop yelling. My mom has been praying since the day I was born that he would stop. He cusses, screams, you name it at me and my family. I can't take it. I'm crying typing this. I thought God answered all prayers. Why can't he answer this one? (link)
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With abuse, only one person (or deity) can help you - yourself. You need to leave and do all you can to take your mom with you.
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Say your spouse dies and goes to "Heaven". You learn to cope and marry again. Then you and your new spouse somehow die (whomever first, it doesn't matter), but you both go to "Heaven". Now you're there with two martial partners. How is your time divided? Or how does that work? Can you love them both? Can you "be with" them both? Will they know of each other's existence?
There obviously isn't a right or wrong answer, so all opinions welcome and appreciated. (link)
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I don't believe in the Christian idea of Heaven being a place with other individuals, but I think I can answer this question.
Heaven is timeless because it is eternal. Because it is paradise, you would be able to be with all your loved ones and there would be no conflict.
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