icey0990's

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would it be considered slutty to give a guy a handjob if ive only seen him twice at my friends house and we arent going out and all he wants from me is sexual favors..i like him and i sort of want to but i sort of dont and im afraid this will make me a slut and he'll tell all his friends and ill seem like a slut. he also wants to eat me out and finger me but i told him i dont know maybe. because i mean we arent even going out and whenever i bring up the topic of him liking me he just says he doesnt know and that he wants me. but then he says he wants me to do these things, he means. i sort of want to but i feel like thats kind of slutty..i mean its not like im doing it to all of these guys, its just one guy. and i like him. but i dont think he likes me..but still its not slutty because its only one guy right?

well its your body and your choices. dont lower your standards. if you feel comfortable with it, then go for it. if you will feel bad about it and feel like a slut yourself, then dont do it. i would not consider you a slut but thats just me, i mean its one guy ..not 5 at once. but you have to do whats right for you hun always remmember that

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Okay for valentines day i've worked it out and i will probably be on my period..i'm on the pill so i know. My boyfriend and i very rarely get to have sex as our parents like never leave the houses. For valentines day or even the weekend before or after i want to do something a little different like pick some lingerie and do something different with him..Have some loose hot fun if that makes sence..he wouldn't reli expect it from me. But thing is theres no where really to go. Any ideas? Even if its place? or just things we can do to spice things up a bit would be a great help? as i said i don't usually do this but i'm totally up for it =]

Not sure if this is possible, but would you want to rent a hotel room? perfect spot.

other options..if either of you drive go somewhere scenic and have car sexytime.

if you live somewhere warm maybe a privatee park,woods? lol hmm..

the hotel thing would be good though. even if you are not 18 maybe a friend who is can put the hotel in their name?? well good luck i hope it works out!

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So, I ended up losing my virginity to my boyfriend around Thanksgiving. Since then we've been having sex regularly. In early December we were having sex and he didn't pull out in time, and, well, you know the rest. After that I had an irregular and way lighter period that lasted longer than usual. But it was so off and different that it didn't even seem like a period. After I had stopped bleeding, we began having sex again. And, well, he didn't pull out then either...

My period has always been regular, always at the beginning of the month. And now it's Jan 13th and I'm getting worried.

What do I do? Am I pregnant?

not to scare you..but there is always a chance to get pregnant from sex. and since you and your bf havent exactly been safe, it ups the chances.

asap get a pregnancy test, or better yet visit the nearest planned parenthood and take a test there and get answers. the tests are pretty accurate. the only way to tell for sure is to get a test. good luck and be safe from now on

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im totally and completely in love with my boyfriend. and im pretty sure he feels the same way. but im worried about our relationship.

we have sex and do foreplay, and its all nice and such. but we've only been dating a couple of months and already this flame (being our relationship) has gotten so high. im worried that in the longrun, its just going to start feeling like a routine. and then it'll get boring, and we'll both wind up bored and end up splitting.

ive waited so long for him. and i finally got him. how can i keep the flame burning high so we dont get bored??

i know how you feel. ive been with my bf for almost 3 yrs..and at the 2 or 3 month point i was thinking the same as you. the key is this: SEX is not everything. Spending time together, doing other activities, just being happy together is what holds a relationship together. sex alone cannot hold a relationship together. its like crappy glue in a way.
so, to keep things interesting..plan day trips/overnight trips, go different places, try different things, dont let yourselves settle in the same routine where you watch tv all day and have sex in the same position in the same place and not go anywhere. if you two really love each otherr it will not end up like that though

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16/f
all of my friends, or pretty much all of them, have hooked up with a guy/guys. I haven't. and they are all so pretty :[ AND DON'T TELL ME THAT I AM PRETTY BECAUSE YOU DONT KNOW ME. i think im not appealing to guys. i don't have boobs. and actually, some of my friends don't either, but that's not the point ... i guess. I've had like ... 3 boyfriends. 2 were just flukes. one i really liked alot, but we only kissed, never hooked up. i guess i was scared? *because he has hooked up before* and then we broke up. but anyways, just the other day one of my "friends" was like ... well everyone has hooked up by now...duh. and i was like, no they havent, i know people who havent. and she was like, have you? and i lied. i said i did. because i didn't want to feel like a loser. because maybe i should have ALREADY hooked up with a guy. but again, no guys like me. and im only attracted to the ones who are out of my league, not available, or ex's. I DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG OR WHAT I AM DOING WRONG OR ANYTHING. any advice is appreciated. i guess. ugh. will it ever be my turn ?! ugh. and you don't have to tell me what i want to hear, im on this site for the truth. okay? thanks in advance.

i know you want the truth. so here you go. i am pretty damn overweight. i dont wear bakinis, so its not like im calling myself fat and im 130..no no its much more than that.

the truth is this. next month will be my three YEAR anniversary with my bf, im 19 hes 20. my friends are sooo gorgeous like really reaaaally beautiful girls. yeah, they get the guys. but only a couple of them get the love. like my gorgeous friends get played , not taken seriously, etc.

so. dont get discouraged. dont feel pressured. when the right person comes along for you, you will know. just give it time. you are young! hang out with friends, enjoy being young, have fun! there is plenty of time for love.

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This questions for the girls and guys, mainly guys though.

Well, i was having sex with this guy and its not the first time ive been with him, but we didnt have a condom. He said he didnt mind and he would just go in me, and i am not on any birth control or anything and he knows that. He said it was up to me, and he said he really wants to. Other times when we've had sex, he would always hint it, or say something like, "I just want to go in you so bad" or something along those lines.

What does this mean exactly? Is there something he is trying to tell me? Were any of you in this situation before? Or guys, did you do something like this? Why did you?


Thanks everyone :]

it means hes a guy, and cumming inside you would feel good for him. it also means he isnt your bf, and doesnt really care about being safe with sex. its natural for guys to want to do it without a condom. i mean they arent the ones who could get pregnant, we are. girls need to be able to say no, because guys will pressure you to give in.

and to answer you yes i have been in this situation before, but i clearly said no we have to be safe. my bf loves and cares about me, but is still a guy.

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hey thanks for reading :)

ive been meeting up with this lad for over 5mouths now and i realy like him , im actualyy in love with him because we met up like 4 times a week , but the only problem is a part of me thinks hes just using me for sex but if he was using me wouldnt he of moved on by now? we always fall out i dont no why its mosty me because i need him and i cant see why he wont get with me we act like a couple well i think we do, he never tells actually told me if he likes me or not not even to his or my mates he just sayin he hates realatships , like i said its 5mouths and i want to move on coz i dont think he will ever get with me but a apart of me thinks he will he just need time to think i mean we txt eachother everyday , i dont weather to say its over with the meeting because i cant handle it and that because we int getting anywere or leave him for a days, weeks or months , to see if he do care eught to get in touch with me or leave him a message sayin you have a week to make your mind up but thats childish , another thing is he never kissed me lol we have done everything not once has a got a kiss :S i tryed to kiss him but he just says he done like kissing, if anyone understands what im tryin to tell you can u please help me ....

this guy is not interested in settling down. he just wants sex. and he wont even kiss you, thats an even worse sign. its been five months and if he isnt interested in being commited, i dont think its ever going to happen. who knows who else this guy is seeing and fooling around with. guys like sex, and if he can keep having sex with you hes going to, it doesnt mean he likes you..it means he likes sex

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Alright, i had an abortion in February. I was 17 and completely not ready to have a child. Well, i actually never dealt with it and to top it all off, my due date came and gone, and I had a whole night to myself and reminecing about what I would have had, their names, and what colour I would have painted the baby's room. Needless to say it wasn't/isn't easy.
Since I hadn't dealt with it, I was consistently inconsistent with my birth control and spent three or fours months not on it at all, having unprotected sex. Now during all that time, and I mean everyday! I never once got pregnant again, I had scares with late periods, but that's all, they've all come and gone. and because of my deep desperation to have a child, i've really forgotten how to deal with my life and all the bad stuff that has happened and is happening.
Question I have is does anyone have an idea on how to move on, deal with it, and make sure that it doesn't screw up any of my future relationships?

This is not an easy choice for anybody. But like the others said, things happen for a reason. You need to forgive yourself, and learn from your mistakes. Instead of being sloppy with your contraceptives, be on top of it and be responsible. Dont allow yourself to have this happen again until you are ready to be a parent.

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I really want to take a vacation to mexico, but I'm not sure where I should go.
Money isn't too much of an issue (as long as it isn't like $3000) because I don't plan on going for another year so I have a good amount of time to save up.
So really I'd like to hear from people who have gone somewhere and how they liked it and such.
Thanks.

I went to mexico with four of my friends in may and it was amazing! our trip cost was i think 1200 per person. it included round trip airfare from NYC, 7 night hotel stay, ALL YOU CAN EAT ALL YOU CAN DRINK (alcohol included) it was amazing! it also included transportation to and from the airport!
(we booked through jet blue and the package included everything)

we stayed in the mayan riviera at the barcelo maya palace located about an hour away from cancun.
check out this website.. http://www.unofficial-barcelo-maya.com/site/

if you decide to stay there, definitely stay at the palace, its their newest resort thats not even one year old yet. you will have access to the other hotels right next to it, you will be able to eat at any of the restarants, drink at all the bars.
the hotel is right off the ocean, its very large, very beautiful, has swim up bars in the pool, just gorgeous!

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Ok... so I will start by saying that I thought I had good morals and was a decent person, but that seems to have changed. I fooled around with a co-worker last night, not quite had sex but close enough. Thing is I am in a horrid relationship with a child and he is unhappily married but loves his wife. I was very drunk and him sober...and I believe that alcohol is never an excuse but I also feel like if I was not drinking I would not have made that choice. I feel so incredibly crappy today..really really crappy. I want to do something to make it better which is probably impossible. I cannot tell my boyfriend because he would literally kill me or hurt me very badly. I just really lost all respect for myself and need some advice. please don't be too mean with the remarks because i already know what I did was VERY wrong. thanks

Well you could try to keep this a secret, but wouldnt that hurt too much inside? You were pretty confident that your bf would realy hurt you. Think about your relationship with him..maybe you did this because deep down you are not happy with him..maybe you will realize deep down you want to end things with your bf. You could break up with your bf and not tell him what you did with your coworker..keeping your actions a secret would hurt too much inside, and would make your relationship be based on a lie. In the end the choice is yours, but im thinking maybe you want to end your relationship anyway. Why do you think he would literally hurt you? Has be been abusive in the past? In the end its your choice, my advice is to not keep it inside. It will hurt too much..and i also think you should take a little bit to really reflect on the inside of what you want and what is best..

good luck

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I am 16 and my boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months now. The other day, he invited me over to spend Christmas Eve with him and his family. I've met them before, but never actually sat down and had a meal with them or anything, so I'm pretty nervous.

Any advice/tips on how to make a good impression? =]

well the little things that you can do to make a really good impression is:
-wear a nice outfit like a sweater.obviously nothing really low cut etc.
-bring something over like a cake you baked or brownies
-smile be polite, the obvious things like saying please/thank you
-just be yourself..make conversation like about school, your family, tell funny stories, build off of the questions they ask you. dont be too quiet..
dont worry im sure they will love you! maybe ask your bf about your parents and their interests ..likes/dislikes so you can generate more ideas of what to talk about etc. good luck and remember to be yourself!

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Over the summer, this guy and i were friends with benefits. i know friends with benefits are never a good thing but anyway.. a friend of mine told me he had been dating someone. So i stopped talking to him to get him out of the picture. Well, i haven't talked to him in about 2 months and he texted me tonight saying that he missed me and how he wanted me to come over soon. I don't miss him, just doing things with him. I asked him about his girlfriend and he just said "yeaaah we can keep it between us" so i said umm ill think about it. so should i do it? i don't know the girl at all that hes dating so i wouldnt feel bad at all about that.

I would definitely suggest you not do it. First of all for respect for the other girl. Getting cheated on would hurt so bad..dont knowingly fool around with a guy who has a girlfriend.
The next reason is for your own self respect and dignity. This guy views you just for fooling around and its not like he wants you enough to leave his current girl for you. You desserve more than to have to remain a secret.
Next is the whole drama that can come with it. I know people who are married/have kids etc who are fooling around with their coworkers and it really just becomes a mess. Someone develops feelings for the other..the other person finds out they are being cheated on, it just brings a lot of drama and hurt feelings.
You desserve more than this and I hope I helped out a little.

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how long do you usually wait in a relationship to bring them home and meet the parents?

well i think it depends. how old are you? when i was 16 , almost 17 i brought my bf home to my family pretty quickly..because being that i was still young, not driving yet, and living at home i figure my parents should meet the guy i would spend my time with.

as you get older..like if you have your own license, or maybe live alone, in college, etc you can wait it out a little more because you are more independent from your parents.
it is also a preference. you might decide to keep your guys away from your parents until you feel its a little more serious.

i hope i helped a little :)

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18, female
this is probably a stupid question, but im a virgin and not sexually active. when you have sex, you still take your birth control after right? like lets say you have sex on a friday, you would still take it on that saturday right? and also when is the best time to have sex.i'm on birth control and would make him use a condom but i am just SO paranoid about getting pregnant that i want everything to go well. so if you can give me and tips or info that would be great!

alrighty what you are referring to is the Morning After Pill. Its a pill you take (found at the pharmcy and planned parenthood) and you take that the morning after unprotected sex - 72 hours after. so basically 1-3 days after.
it is not 100 percent effective. it is not meant to be taken as a regular form of contraceptives. its used for if the condom breaks or if you mess up and have unprotected sex.

birth control is different. you can take the birth control pills (every day, same time of day), there is the birth control shot, patches, etc. you need to be on it for a couple weeks until having unprotected sex.

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Sorry 'bout the length. Ok, so there is this boy I've known for a long time, but we've barely talked to each other. So, this year, we got assigned seats next to each other in math in the back of the room. And he is HILARIOUS, and he is always talking to me, and I love being around him. But our math teacher DOES NOT like the two of us, and she is always mad at him. So, I've been noticing for the past couple weeks that he's been showing signs of liking me... he's always writing on my binder with hearts and "U Luv Willimo" (His nickname) all over it, and he is always saying we should give each other hugs to make my friends jealous, making me laugh all the time, and, you know, that type of stuff. He is SO cute, too! But, my STUPID, STUPID frigging math teacher MOVED ME TO THE FRONT OF THE ROOM! So now, I always see him looking at me, and I always want to talk to him, but I don't really know how, even though we're pretty good friends. =( I need help, because I think I might like him back...

aww he def likes you! some ideas..maybe get to the class a couple minutes early , catch him in the halls and talk on the way to class. during this time mention the idea of maybe hanging out. exchange sns or phone numbers and take it from there!
if that wont work, maybe after class walk with him and talk. start with some small talk like "man, stupid mathh teacher moved me to the front .. i hate it. " etc. try it out i hope it works..dont worry it sounds like he def likes you! :)

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okay, so....my boyfriend and I have a pretty decent sex life, the only thing is that, well, I don't ever really DO anything....he usually does most of it. My question is...how do I give myself the confidence to be able to actually GIVE instead of just TAKING in our sexual relationship?
ANY advice is welcome!!!
~thanks~

well, i think you need to establish a comfort level with him. a lot of girls feel uncomfortable about receiving because they dont know what the guy would think about their "area" or their chest. so you have this down pat that you feel comfortable with him pleasing you. now, you want to please your guy but you arent confident that you will do a good job, am i right? well you can start off slowly. take the iniciative and start off next time you guys start kissing. slowly move your hand down to his area and begin by exploring, touching, maybe using lips/mouth for a little bit . i know he will like it, and the more often you do it, the better you will get.

communnication can really help also. maybe he c an guide your hand and show you the grip and speed he likes, etc etc.

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This is the persuassive essay I has to write for language. Please grade this on a scale from 1 to 4. Please base this on a 8th grade level. Please criticise this essay, and help me make it better. Thank you in advanced. Also, just because I wrote about this topic, does not necisarily mean i believe what I wrote. And, please do not tell me my statistics are wrong because my teacher told us to lie about nthem, as long as they sound believeable. yes i know....weird


Television….Helpful or Harmful

Television is not really what you think it is. Television has little educational value. Television promotes violence, certain styles of clothing, and that affects the way you think. It gives you a reason to not exercise or eat right, which ends in health issues. It causes children to rebel, or beg their parents to buy items that the commercials showed.
The shows or commercials you see on television usually affect your actions, and the way you think. Boys who watch their favorite action shows are packed with fighting and violence. They cause them to think and act differently. Dr. Rodman, a licensed child psychologist, took a 12 year old boy named Charles, who had never watched any television in his whole life, and showed him 3 television shows packed with violence. When Charles came home, he took his little sister’s Barbie dolls and ripped off the heads. Girl’s who watch their favorite pop stars or “idols” on TV usually end up speaking and dressing like them. “My child came home and asked me to buy her a new wardrobe so she would be just like the girl on TV”, says Tessa Jones, mother of 2 children. Girls these days are becoming more aggressive, due to the latest news on television about famous stars. Television is affecting the minds and behavior of boys and girls.
In addition to changing your thoughts and behavior, people are getting unhealthy from TV watching and lack of exercise. The commercials on TV 3 out of 5 times talk about food, which causes children and adults to eat while watching television. Television gives people an excuse to not exercise.2 out of 3 people in America are overweight due to television watching and television commercials that promote eating. Dr. Drakeson, author of Kids Usa, states that kids watch more television, thank homework, exercise, and eating all together. Television is causing major health problems.
Not only does Television lead to unhealthiness, but television commercials also put down certain styles of clothing, pressure you to listen to a certain style of music, or pressure you into buying a product. Only 5 out 30 commercials talk about rejecting drugs,



pier pressure, or alcohol, while the others talk about wearing the “right” clothing, listening to the “cool” music. The commercials make children feel like they have to say and have the right things. Television commercials cause parents to feel pressured to buy the items that their children want. There are many commercials on television. Some are helpful, however most of them harmful to you in some type of way.
Some might argue that people who do not have a phone or newspaper, need the television to watch the news, to keep up on what is happening around the world, however, at the moment only 1 out of 5 show on television are actually news channels, in addition to that, the news mostly talks about gossip, or the latest buzz.
Personally, I believe television has little educational value and is harmful to any person who watches it in some way. The things on television affect the behavior of people and the way you think. People are getting more unhealthy from watching television. Television commercials are pressuring people to buy things, or change something about themselves, or the way they live their lives. If you do not want to be unhealthy, or be pressured into changing yourself, or pressured into buying what people may think is the “right” thing to buy, then cut down, or completely cut television out of your lives today.

the others did well with their feedback. my two cents if it counts for something, is that i think you used the word television too much...

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i have two lovers right now, and ive always believed this to be wrong, but i love my girlfriend, karla, and when my best friend james asked me out i couldnt say no b/c ive liked him even longer than ive liked karla.
whats YOUR OPINION on this...is it ok for someone's who's bisexaul to have a bf and a gf at the same time????

well no, my opinion is this is still considered cheating. its kind of like a guy having two girlfriends, its no different, you have to come clean to your partners and chose someone.

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So I spent the better part of my summer searching for a job...ANY kind of job, to no avail. Now that school has started and I'm kinda buggin out about the work load headed my way (I'm a junior in college) of course the jobs come rolling in....


Ok so my friend recently started working at Delia's and she told me she could get me a job there. So I was pretty stoked (this happened toward the end of summer). However since then she's only worked there about 2 or 3 days (i don't know if that's just how they schedule people, or if it's a conflict of interest because she has a second job). Anywaysss it took a while before she got to talk to the hiring manager about me. The manager said I could come in at any time and I'd get the job - I went to high school with her as well so she knows me. So fast forward to Sunday - my orientation day. It wasn't too bad, but I just wasn't really feelin it - ya know? I'm worried about my hours, I don't drive so I'd be commuting via public transportation. The job is about 10 minutes from my school and the college loop takes me right there, but if they schedule me a long time after my classes end, I'll either be chillin at school for hours on end or going home just to take the train + bus back up. I'm concerned about it taking time away from school work. I'm also worried about the job itself. I've never worked in retail and I'm not sure how I feel about it. My previous work experience has been clerical and while I'd hate the idea of doing a 9-5 job and I find it pretty boring, I feel more, I don't know, comfortable working on my own behind a desk. On my orientation day a girl who currently works there (she's leaving this week) told me that she'd give anything to go back to clerical work and that she's quitting because she absolutely hates retail and can't tolerate it anymore. I've heard this from a lot of people. Almost everyone else that day seemed to have similar sentiments and either just didn't want to be there or wanted to go home. And it was a busy day too. Soooo...needless to say I didn't get the best vibe. And as someone who believes strongly in "vibes" and such, that's not the best for me. Anyway I did my orientation, filled out my paperwork, filled out my availability, etc. etc. However, I have not yet gotten a schedule. They said they'd call me and let me know.

NOW, the dilemma. Today I noticed that I got a work/study award from my school. Which means, essentially, that they choose students deserving of financial aid to get on-campus jobs to make money and that will be in their area of interest. I REALLY would like to do this. It would be so much more convienent and possibly have me do something I at least marginally enjoy. So tomorrow I'm going to talk to the financial aid office and hopefully get a job on campus. But now I'm a little perplexed: if I do get a job on campus, is it bad to quit my Delia's job before I even start working there? Everyone I've talked to said it's not a big deal or bad to do that, so long as I explain that a better offer of a job that's more accomodating comes along. But I'd still feel bad/awkward. I don't desperately need the money so I'm not really interested in trying to balance two jobs along with school. I'm not really in the mood for added stress. However, I really would like the 40% discount off Delia's merchandise...lol.

So first things first, I'm going to make sure I actually can get an on-campus job. But once (and if) I do, should I just quit Delia's? Or should I wait and see when Delia's call me what kind of hours they give? What would be "proper" protocol?

Thanks in advance...

well first of all there is nothingg wrong with leaving delias to do work study. its so much more conveinient! no transportation costs or worries, plus its what you would rather do. yes, first make sure you will get the work study job, confirm the days and hours you will work, and when you have that confirmed, maybe give delias a 2 week notice if possible. if work study really wants you to start right away, go for it because so many other people would love to have it!

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thanxs for the advice...im just really glad things are working out with us..in our 2 month of dating my previous ex contacted me through myspace after like 5 months since the break up and asked me how i was doing so i told her i was doing fine i have a gf now and that im happy...i asked her how she was and she said the same so i told her thats great im happy for u...so my current gf found out and she didnt trust me from then..we got through it but she just had it in the back of her mind that i was still talking to her...so my gf decided to end things she needed space...so i respected her decision now 3 months later were getting passed it and working on the future...u think all this could work out with no problems and her trust issues?

well i think it still is a sensitive issue, but i think its something you two can work on. i dont think that magically its going to be like it never happened. trust is easy to break, and hard to gain back. so while you work on the future, dont do anything to break the trust. im not saying give her your password or anything, but maybe if your on myspace and your with her just show her everything is appropriate in your convos. and my opinion is i think you guys can work out. just remember not to talk to anyone in a way you wouldnt want her to be talking to other people. good luck with everything!

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