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January 8, 2009Answers:
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After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and
chaining a soul, And you learn that
love doesnt mean leaning and company
doesnt mean security, And you begin to
learn that kisses arent contracts and
presents arent promises, And you
begin to accept your defeats with your
head up and your eyes open, with the
grace of an adult, not the grief of a
child And you learn to build all your
roads on today because tomorrows ground
is too uncertain for plans. After a while
you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much.
So plant your garden and decorate your
own soul, instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
advice
I have 2 gerbils, and I love them very much. I really want to get more, but my mom and dad won't let me because I sometimes forget to feed them. I notice in a day or 2, and they never eat a lot of food anyway, so there's no harm, but my parents are still set in stone. How can I convince them?
Be more RESPONSIBLE in taking care of your current two gerbils. Prove to your parents that you are MATURE and RELIABLE enough to take care of your pets.
And oh, DON'T FORGET TO FEED those poor things. =)
im totally and completely in love with my boyfriend. and im pretty sure he feels the same way. but im worried about our relationship.
we have sex and do foreplay, and its all nice and such. but we've only been dating a couple of months and already this flame (being our relationship) has gotten so high. im worried that in the longrun, its just going to start feeling like a routine. and then it'll get boring, and we'll both wind up bored and end up splitting.
ive waited so long for him. and i finally got him. how can i keep the flame burning high so we dont get bored??
You know what the problem is? You worry too much about nothing. I was just like you before when I have just started my relationship with this affectionate, generous, crazy, loving and funny guy, who is my current beau by the way. The extraordinary feeling of being inlove and being loved in return is simply indescribable. I also used to think and worry on how I can preserve and prolong the special bond that we share without compromising anything that will eventually lead to breaking up.
The best thing that you should do is to confide every anxiety and worries that you have regarding your relationship to your boyfriend. I did. And I can say its one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. He taught me that there is no use of thinking too much of what might and might not happen in the future. He said that what we should concentrate on is the present, to make the most out each moment that we are together.
Also one good piece of advice is to never close your gate of communication. You should be able to talk things out together. Respect and honesty should always be constant in your relationship. Once in awhile do some crazy stuff together just to put a sparkle of adventure into your lives.
Well I dated this guy for a year & 3 months. Things just did'nt work out , I was heart broken . He broke up with in June . I fount out JUST 2 weeks ago he had been having " flings " with my BESTFRiEND from that January till the break up , he cheated on me & everything . I went through hell for 6 months trying to get over him . I started hanging with this guy Jason , we became BESTFRiENDS August . We did'nt have feelings for each other for a while , we were seriously bestfriends . Well as the months went by , we did start liking each other & started " talking " . Well my ex [ Justin ] - was my first love . Me and Jason date now , since November . It's great ; He treats me WAY better than Justin did . but after I fount out Justin cheated I really didn't want ANYTHiNG to do with him ... ain't talked to him since I fount out . but I feel bad & guilty because I think about him , I would'nt say it's alot , but more than I should . I know he's my first love & all and that's normal . but I just really want this to TRULEY be over , I feel bad because I feel as if i'm not giving my [ ALL ] to Jason . I'm in love with Jason though , I fell really fast because we knew each other so well & automaticly " clicked "... what do I do ... anyways to just NOT think about him ? ugh
I believe most of us girls feel and experience the exact same thing whenever we hook up with someone new and we can't seem to get past our former beau's.
The best thing for you to do so that you can give your entirety to Jason is to EVENTUALLY GET OVER Justin. How? Here are some pointers that might help:
1. Do not mention him to your mutual friends. Be gone from your ex's life. Remember the way he cheated on you! You have such a wonderful guy right now in your life. Would you take a chance and lose him?
2. Get rid of all the evidence of your ex -- put it all under your bed, inside the medicine cabinet, anywhere, but fast! Sometimes we can be such suckers on small things that can remind us of our ex's: smell of his perfume, a strand of hair, places we've been to. Flush him right out of your life immediately, and completely.
3. Never look back. Now this can be hard to accomplish. It's like we know not to look down when someone says don't look down..but we still look down. You can't look back until it's time to look back when you're truly over him.
4. You will get over him, remember that. You already have the advanage of having someone special in your life. Look forward to opening a new chapter of your life and sharing special memories with Jason.
Good luck, =)
i have a crush on a mormon guy
i dont know how religious he is and all
but i know that he doesnt do things on sundays
how far would he go in a relationship?
could we even make out?
this is so confusing.
please help ]:
~CoNfUsEd AnD iN lOvE~
I can relate with you on your situation coz I myself is in a relationship wherein me and my partner belongs to different religion sects. I had my own doubts before. But not anymore.
You see, you need to work things out together. The best source to understand his religious ways is to talk to him directly. Because if you will ask other mormon people on your questions, it might be different with this guy you liked. Not everyone shares or views the same norms and beliefs.
My boyfriend thinks I'm dirty and weird, cos I like porn films and magazines. He thinks it's just for men. Am I dirty and weird, or is he being a prude?
To what extent do you like porn films and magazines? Does it rule your life? Like, you cannot concentrate on anything until you satisfy yourself by watching porn? Or you just like it, simple as that?
Because if it governs you then I have to say it does sound weird and a bit erratic. But if you like it like any other normal people, then its ok.
You're not dirty and weird like your boyfriend says you are. Maybe he's just feeling a little insecure that you're paying attention to some hot guys in these adult materials. Take the time to sit with him and have a talk about it. As I have said before, nothing beats honesty in whatever situation you maybe into.
I do not want this earth anymore, i want to go, i do not belong here, I do not like pain, so i have to do it painless.
Honestly there are many ways to die a painless death. But I'm not crazy and stupid to point it out to you one by one.
Life is full of shit, I have to tell you that. We all have our shares of life's cruel jokes and have been victims of its gruelling realities. But it doesn't have to end there! How to survive in this world takes tremendous effort and tedious undertaking. It all depends on how we deal with it.
Obviously you're talking about suicide here. PLEASE, get professional help. Seek a doctor, confide with your family members and unburden your troubles. Remember that there's an answer and a solution for everything. NEVER LOSE HOPE.
My husband and I attended the wedding of two dear friends. The groom's mother, "Millie," made party favors for all the guests -- little gift bags containing sugar-coated almonds and, because the bride and groom are animal lovers, a small glass animal. A few days later, a friend brought her teenage daughter to our home. The daughter admired the two glass animals, so I gave them to her.
I was shocked when, the following weekend, Millie called and asked me to return them. She said she planned to take them back because she would prefer to use the money to buy the couple something they could use. Feeling guilty for "regifting," I responded with the first thing that popped into my head, that I hoped I hadn't "misplaced" them. Millie said she hoped not, too -- they had cost $35 apiece, and she would expect us to reimburse her! Further, we should not mention it to the "happy couple" because of the embarrassment it would cause.
I asked the bride's sister where Millie might have bought the glass figurines under the guise of wanting to get some as gifts for my grad students. I was stunned when she responded that she had purchased an entire case of these inexpensive animals as wedding favors, and that I was welcome to them if I wanted to pick them up from her home.
I'm unclear what motivated Millie to ask for the animals to be returned, or why she would inflate the price and expect to be reimbursed. I understand there was an unpleasant power struggle over the wedding arrangements, but I'm not sure what she hopes to gain from this.
How should this be handled? My husband says I should tell Millie the truth, that we gave them away and we know they cost only 80 cents apiece. What do you say?
I believe your husband is right. Nothing beats honesty in whatever situation you maybe. Atleast by telling her the truth you would also be able to know what motivated "Millie" to lie. Maybe she had her own reasons for doing so.Give her the benefit of the doubt.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. We were best friends all during high school, and thouht maybe we should give it a shot & got together. well the begining of the relationship was amazing. he made me feel like i was the only girl in the world who could ever feel like this, until one day he got so mad he hit me. not in the face or where it would show. It was on my thiegh. I tried to look past it, but he just kept hitting me. It started out only when he got mad & we were arguing, but then it started to be an everyday thing. if i was "driving wrong" he would hit me, or i "said something stupid" he would hit me. then he stopped cause my family found out. but, he started again a few months later. i always ask him why he feels like he needs to hit me, why cant he jus express his anger to me in a different way. I want to know what to do. Im so lost. I love him so much, & i know that this relationship could work, i jus dont know what to say to him. Please,, i need some help.
He doesn't have any right to hurt you in any way. And being angry with someone would NEVER be reason enough to afflict you with physical pain, or any other form of pain for that matter. Imagine he is just your boyfriend. What more he will do to you if you decide to marry him? RESPECT in a relationship should be constant.
Taken you care deeply for this guy and you believe you can work things out. But does he? I mean, does he care one way or another? Cause if he does, he wouldn't be treating you like this. It's alright to love and care passionately about someone but you should also love yourself. No one can take care of yourself more than you.
If you will continue to bear his abuses there's a big tendency that your self esteem will be worn down, your sense of options will evaporate, self-care is compromised, and the power of choice is eroded. I have read in an article before that partners of abusers experience denial of the abusiveness, both from their partners and internally. Do you know that this can be life-threatening? Abusers are generally very needy and controlling; the abuse escalates when they feel they may lose their partner, or when the relationship ends. REMOVE YOURSELF TOTALLY FROM THE SITUATION. This is painful, but is generally safer and ultimately better for both of you than allowing the cycle of abuse to continue.
I've been infatuated with this guy for quite some time, but I just don't think it's going to happen between us...I think he's figured out that I like him, but he's said or done nothing. Rather than risk making things awkward between us by actually telling him, I'm almost thinking I'd rather just remain friends without him knowing for sure...I've tried so hard to get over him, but it's been next to impossible. Every time I see him, or if I'm around him, I go back to "drooling idiot" mode. Every time I think to myself "just stay away from him for awhile", I end up very badly wanting to just be in the same room with him. Every time I throw myself into a project, there's SOMETHING there that reminds me of him, and I get depressed...same thing with hanging out with friends and family...there's always something there that reminds me of him. I also find myself unconsciously trying to do things that I think would make him like me, and though they aren't necessarily bad or untrue to myself, I still feel like an idiot when I do it.
I'm stuck, I'm depressed, and I hate it.
Remaining friends with this guy is a good idea for now since he's figured out that you like him but he still didn't do anything about it. Most guys that I know will jump on the wagon and take advantage of the fact that a girl likes them. It means an easy "conquer" for them.
Being a pal to him has more advantages than actually telling him straight out that you're infatuated with him. Along the course of your friendship you can show him various ways on how much you care about this person. Who knows? Maybe he will see what a wonderful person you truly are and decides to step things up further in your relationship. Sharing a special bond through frienship is a strong foundation for a firmer and more solid couple-relationship in the future.
You don't necessarily have to forget him. For now enjoy being friends with this guy. Share laughter and tears with him, embrace and live life with him. Act naturally around him
and concentrate on the positive attributes your friendship will bring forth.
Good luck and all the best for you!
its been four months since I've been with my boyfriend .I lost my virginity to him Im 17 and his 20 years old.we started dating in september 20,2008 and had sex for the first time on november 11,2008.
we were at his house in his room around october of 2008 and we were making out and he tried to take my shirt off and i said no he was upset and kept asking me what am i waiting for this happened twice . the third time i told him i was ready for his own sake and he went to get a condom and we were ready to go and i told him that i wasnt ready so he was like its okay im not going to pressure you a month later which was november 11,2008 we were making out and i felt like i was ready for me this time and we did it.thinking back im wondering did he force me im still with him and i really care about him he treats me right and im happy .
Honey there was no pressure at all. Because if there was, it should have happened from the very beginning. But the thing was he waited, though he was impatient at some point. Sex is something that is mutual. Maybe what you truly feel right now is guilt or could be you have some misgivings toward losing your virginity. Don't dwell too much about it. It's all in the past. Snap out of it. He treats you right and makes you happy are the eminent points right now.
theres this guy that i like, and he told me he doesnt like me..i accepted it. but he keeps telling people who dont even know me that i like him..why is he doing this?
He's being a total jerk, that's why. Ignore him gurl, completely. An egotistical maniac such as him deserves only your absolute disregard. Pay no heed to his utter thirst for attention. He'll shut up and get tired of it in no time. I have to give you credit though, for accepting well his rebuff. Take it in a positive note, maybe he doesn't like you because deep inside he knows you're too good for him, ;-).
17/f
I've just graduated from high school. There was this guy in one of my classes at school who i thought was pretty cute but he was a bit shy. We dont really know each other very well and have only talked a few times but i can tell he likes me. He talks to me online sometimes aswell. When we talk online its on myspace usually comments so everyone will read them. None of my friends know any of his friends or anything so it is really hard now that im not going to school. How can I get to know him better outside of school keeping in mind that we hardly even know each other so it would be really weird for me to ask him if he wants to hang out. :S
Please help.
How else can you get to know another person to a greater extent except by going out together? I know you hardly know each other but someone has to step up and make the first move! Why not be the brave one since his the coy type? If you feel awkward, try to organize a small party/gathering for your previous classmates to whom you shared a class with this guy. You know, just an excuse to have him over. Or, you know what? Just ask him out point-blank. Invite him to have coffee, dinner, lunch, whatever you feel adequate. "As you grow older, you'll find the only things you regret are the things that you didn't do". GO FOR IT NOW. The future is promised to no one.
is it ok to have sex with more then 3 poeole at the same time?
Our cultural upbringing and religious convictions are strong determinants of where we stand on this issue. Personally, I will not make a habit of doing it because having sex for me is to sleep with someone to whom you share a strong emotional attachment with, someone you cared about deeply. But for argument’s sake, why don’t we take a look at both sides of the coin? For some people it's easy to have sex with someone whom they have just met. People are comfortable doing it, some say for experience, sort of a hand-on job to learn a good deal about it. Well, as long as you will not forget to take necessary precautions to avoid getting any sexually transmitted disease (or getting pregnant for that matter) i guess you got my nod on it.
I am 17, My son's bio father is 18 (John), My fiance is 19 (Nate) and my son is 2.
I am going to first list the reasons why my son's bio father isn't allowed to see him.
*When my son was a baby baby he never woke up with him in the middle of the night he just ignored him.
*I have a police report filled against my sons fathers father for saying he was going to preform a sexual act on my son.
*My sons father made the same comment and called him a BAS****
*We had an agreement of him seeing the baby every other weekend and him helping pay for diapers and milk, etc. and two months came around he never helped at all i was providing food and milk for my son.
*He brought him to my house after the weekend, snot running down his face, his feet were black and he was all sticky. thats when i drew the line. and stopped letting him over there.
*he tried to have his sisters jump me and take the baby the police told me to move so now instead of ohio im in missouri.
Which now he wants something to do with him son and trys to call my phone etc.
I am engaged and when married i want my son to have my fiances middle and last name.
I dont have regrets but is my reasons good enough reasons to why i am doing this to better my son. thank you for your advice!
PS. my fiance raises my son as if he is his own child, plays with him, feeds, changes him, calls him son, etc.
All points taken, the biological father of your son is, as for now, totally banned to see your son. I mean, assuming ofcourse that all the things that you have stated are true and correct, John is not fit at all to be with your son. There's the threat, being undependable and everything. But the thing is he's still the father of your son. Maybe someday if he can prove that he is responsible enough, that he has changed, you can (and the court has to agree ofcourse) grant him visitation rights. Do it for your son because he has the right to know.
well my cousin recently seperated from her husband and went to live with her parents for a while. one day i call her up and she tell asks me to call him and tell him to call her since she ran out of credit on her phone. i call him and tell him to call her but it was already and we began to talk about something that happend a week before. i stayed at there house one night and i slept in there bed with them. i didn't have any intentions of anything but he kinda put his hand in a certain place and i didn't stop him, so on the phone we talk about it and he picks me up and i go to there house, but my cousin wasn't there since she stayed at her parents. so we have sex and i stayed the night. in the morning she drops in and he jumps up the bed and lucks the door, so i stayed trapped in there as she knocks and knocks and cries and yells for 3 hours and than he finally takes her to her parents and i sneak out. so everyone in the family knows he cheated, but they don't know its me. but i kinda think she suspects its me. :S i don't what to do? act normal? tell her the truth?
Feeling like a traitor and a whore acknowledges admittance that indeed you did something wrong. In all honesty what you did was really atrocious. I won't get into details the accounts of the things that you did. Because I know deep inside that you recognize it. You cannot act normal when you know there's this ugly secret lurking behind. Guilt is something that can eat you alive. Be responsible enough to accept what you did and admit it to her. You owe your cousin that much. Don't cover the errors that you did by making another mistake. Good luck and I wish you the best.
ok so... i'm not like a perfect kid or anything but I'm not a bad one either. I'm 18 years old and I don't drink, do drugs, have sex, nothing. I never have and I don't plan on it. My 15 year old sister on the other hand has been mixed up in just about everything. She even got a tattoo and tried hiding it forever. My mom used to get on her so hard when she knew she was getting high and stuff. It took a huge turn at some point and I just don't know where. She keeps everything about my sister from my dad and it makes me so frustrated. My sister has this 19 year old boyfriend we'll call Dustin. Dustin in 19 years old and a loser. He doesn't have a job or anything. My sister would say she was staying and then go to his house instead.. at first my mom cared and then she just like stopped. she would tell me and my dad she was at her friends when I knew the truth... and thennnn she had the audacity to let him stay here at our house. Well... about 2 weeks later guess who's pregnant.. yep.. my sister. They think they're ready to "have a family".. how can they have a family when neither one has a job or any source of support besides my parents. Dustin is in and out of jail and it disgusts me. My dad goes to sleep every night at about 8:30 and around 945 or so my mom goes to get her from Dustins and guess who has been coming with her every single night?! I know it shouldn't be my problem but it is. I don't feel comfortable in my own house an I get so stressed from having to keep it from my dad. Whenever I try to tell my mom how I feel it turns into how "I think i'm so perfect and how I build off of her screw ups" My mom always makes it sound like i'm a bad kid and i'm tired of it. I am such a good kid compared to her.. and not because I want to be better than her, it's because I respect myself...... please help me, I would appreicate it so much .
Your sister is in deep and serious situation right now. Why has your mom let things to go this far? She should have set her foot down from the very beginning! Anyway, there's no point of putting the blame on someone right now. The important thing is to set things right. I say, go and tell/explain to your dad on what's happening right from the start. In this situation someone has to be firm and has the capacity on the final say inside the house. Your sister is still a minor so basically she's still under the patronage of your parents. Kudos to you for being a good big sister. Just try to be more patient and understanding to your sister.
Male 26
Lately, it feels like my girlfriend is constantly saying hurtful and/or disrespectful things to/about me. And I can't tell if she's oblivious or not about how it affects me.
How do I make it clear that I still love her, but that what she says affects me a lot.
I believe in being vocal about every issue that comes into my way or any pressing subject for that matter. Open up to her. Let her know about how you feel. You said lately she's been, well, we could say, being a "jerk" coz she's being insensitive of how/what you feel. It means she was not like that before. Maybe there's something that is troubling her. Or perhaps she has so many things happening in her life right now that got out of control. Or could be she's finding a way to break up with you and she wants it to come from you by being extremely upset with her that's why she's saying all those spiteful stuff. Who knows? The point is to discuss it with her. Always keep the gate of communication open. But always remember to do it diplomatically. Only in that way you would be able to truly understand what you both feel inside.