|
Baby Daddy Drama
I am 17, My son's bio father is 18 (John), My fiance is 19 (Nate) and my son is 2.
I am going to first list the reasons why my son's bio father isn't allowed to see him.
*When my son was a baby baby he never woke up with him in the middle of the night he just ignored him.
*I have a police report filled against my sons fathers father for saying he was going to preform a sexual act on my son.
*My sons father made the same comment and called him a BAS****
*We had an agreement of him seeing the baby every other weekend and him helping pay for diapers and milk, etc. and two months came around he never helped at all i was providing food and milk for my son.
*He brought him to my house after the weekend, snot running down his face, his feet were black and he was all sticky. thats when i drew the line. and stopped letting him over there.
*he tried to have his sisters jump me and take the baby the police told me to move so now instead of ohio im in missouri.
Which now he wants something to do with him son and trys to call my phone etc.
I am engaged and when married i want my son to have my fiances middle and last name.
I dont have regrets but is my reasons good enough reasons to why i am doing this to better my son. thank you for your advice!
PS. my fiance raises my son as if he is his own child, plays with him, feeds, changes him, calls him son, etc.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
If there is any way your son could be near whoever threatened to perform a sexual act on him i'd leep him as far away as possible!
Sounds like this guy wants to have a child when it suits him. And thats not cool.
Im in a slightly similar situation, in that i have a 3 year old child and a new man... But my daughter loves her daddy to death. So different situation.
Um, i'd say, change your number? But keep his contact information because your son is going to want to know his father one day. But just as long as you make him understand (when he's old enough) the reasons why.
]
All points taken, the biological father of your son is, as for now, totally banned to see your son. I mean, assuming ofcourse that all the things that you have stated are true and correct, John is not fit at all to be with your son. There's the threat, being undependable and everything. But the thing is he's still the father of your son. Maybe someday if he can prove that he is responsible enough, that he has changed, you can (and the court has to agree ofcourse) grant him visitation rights. Do it for your son because he has the right to know.
]
Listen, whether you want it or not, this guy is your kids father, and if you prevent the realtionship your son is going to blame you, instead of his father for it. He is only 2 right now, but he will go looking for his father one day, and if you are out of the loop, you will pay the price. The best thing for you to do is to take the father to court for child support. I have a feeling that he hasn't gone to court for visitation rights because he doesn't want to pay child support, and I know you think you don't need that jerk's money, but you really need to do this. First, a two year old doesn't really cost alot, but a teenager is a very different story. If your ex is a bad father, you will have the court to back you up. They will say that he can only have supervised visitation, or maybe they will say he can't see him until he has completed some parenting course. Either way, the whole time he will be giving you money to help out with the baby. If you and your fiance get married it is possible that he could adopt your son, but not unless the bio father says. If the court sets some visitation dates and the father doesn't keep them it will help you out because then you can show that to the court. You need to get the courts involved because if you just deny him visitation without backup it could make him look better in the eyes of the court. I know that you wish this guy would dissappear out of your life, but that is not an option. You are going to have to deal with it. Throughout your kids life, his father may hurt him by promising to come and not showing up, or all kinds of things. You don't want him to be able to say to your son, "I wanted to be a father to you, but your mother wouldn't let me," and if you keep things this way, your son will blame you for all of it. Get the backing of the court, get some money for child support. The longer you wait the more the court is going to look down o nit. The court feels as though child support is your sons right, and if you don't go for it you are denying your son his right. I know that this isn't what you want to hear, but it is what you have to do.
]
EDIT: You've been misinformed, or at least, your information is outdated. Recent court decisions have given some limited rights to biological fathers REGARDLESS of their name on the birth certificate. You should speak to a lawyer about this to make sure you bases are probably covered in both your home state, and his.
You need to go to courts and to the police and remove the biological father�s parental rights if you are going to deny him visitation.
Whatever your reasons are, and you certainly have some, they aren�t good enough until you get the courts involved, because until you get the courts involved, the biological father still has LEGAL RIGHTS to a relationship with his son.
If you want to lock him out of your son�s life forever, you need to have that done officially. Until you do, his biological father could take it up with the courts and FORCE you to recognize his rights and let him see his child.
It doesn't matter how great a dad your fiance is, your son still has a biological father and unless the biological father has signed away, or had his parental rights taken away, he has a right to see his child. If you want that right taken away you must do it legally, or else your current behavior could get you in serious trouble.
In my opinion, the best thing you can do is allow the biological father, supervised and very controlled visitation with his son. Even if, as you do that, you start presuing legal avenues to have him cut out of yours sons life.
]
So i heard you get around, wanna do it?
]
I personally think that every child should have his/her biological parents in their life, only because of what I went through with mine. Eventually growing up your going to have to face the fact that your fiance isn't his biological father. I completely understand why you want to do what you want to do, a dead beat father is the worst. The only way that your going to be able to do this right now is by changing your number (so baby daddy can't call you) and then legally changing your sons name. Now if your baby daddy isn't on the birth certificate you can have your fiance adopt your son which makes things a little easier, if he is on the birth certificate, your gonna have to get him to sign his rights away. When it comes to kids and their parents its a very sticky situation. I know you want whats best for your son and I can also tell that you have tried with his father and at some point realized that it wasn't best for your son to be in his fathers life. I want you to know that this is a person who your son will eventually want to get to know on his own, and when that happens you have to let him make the decision for himself. For now its wonderful your putting him first. I would also suggest being completely honest with your son about the situation while he is growing up, please please please, don't bad mouth his father just explain to him what happened and why you chose to do what you did. That way your not hiding anything from him, and he wont have a reason to resent you (not saying he will, just talking from personal experience) Good luck, hope everything works out for you and your son.
]
More Questions: |