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was i pressured to have sex
its been four months since I've been with my boyfriend .I lost my virginity to him Im 17 and his 20 years old.we started dating in september 20,2008 and had sex for the first time on november 11,2008.
we were at his house in his room around october of 2008 and we were making out and he tried to take my shirt off and i said no he was upset and kept asking me what am i waiting for this happened twice . the third time i told him i was ready for his own sake and he went to get a condom and we were ready to go and i told him that i wasnt ready so he was like its okay im not going to pressure you a month later which was november 11,2008 we were making out and i felt like i was ready for me this time and we did it.thinking back im wondering did he force me im still with him and i really care about him he treats me right and im happy .
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Honey there was no pressure at all. Because if there was, it should have happened from the very beginning. But the thing was he waited, though he was impatient at some point. Sex is something that is mutual. Maybe what you truly feel right now is guilt or could be you have some misgivings toward losing your virginity. Don't dwell too much about it. It's all in the past. Snap out of it. He treats you right and makes you happy are the eminent points right now.
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Why are you questing for victim status?
From your question, it sounds almost like you want to hear that yes, you were.
You weren't, for the record. You made a decision. Whether it was a good one for you or not you still aren't sure, which is why you're asking this I think.
He sounds like a normal, horny guy. Eager but willing to wait (only as long as he has to).
Why do you feel like you were pressured? Where was the pressure coming from? You?
That is a possibility. How much were you pressuring yourself because you wanted to make him happy?
You need to think it over a bit. Figure out what went wrong there (if something did). Because you did in fact make a decision, and if its a decision you regret you need to figure out why you made it in the first place.
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He didn't force you, but he probably ignored that little voice in the back of his head saying, "I'm not sure she really wants to do this," but who can blame him? You ignored that voice, too. Maybe you really were ready, and right now you are just having some normal regrets about losing your virginity. All of your teenage years you were picturing what it would be like when you lost your virginity, and you were a little dissappointed in the way it turned out. Welcome to the club. All of us girls pictured bells and whistles and fireworks, and then....wa.wa.wa(supposed to sound like dissappointment on Spongebob). There aren't a lot of people out there who can say losing their virginity lived up to their expectations.
To make matters worse, now everything is different. He starts to think of sex as more of an expectation than a priveledge.
But, here's the good news..He treats you right and you're happy.
And the better news...the bells, whistles, and fireworks will come in about 7 years. Until then you'll have lots of learning experiences (some you'd rather forget) and a bell, a whistle, or a firework every now and again.
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he didn't force you at all. only you alone know when you're ready. if you're happy with your decision, it sounds like you're comfortable. however, you are displaying doubts. i think you felt internal pressure, but he didn't pressure you.
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Well, it does sound like in the beginning there was some pressure. And maybe deep down you weren't ready. But in the end when you did have sex with him, it doesn't seem that he forced you, you just were ready to give the part of yourself up.
See its like this: when you first get into some serious relatinoship with someone and esp. if they are your first love, then you do love them with everything in you, and you end up doing things with them that before you hadn't so much planned on being ready for because you DO trust them and you do wnat to give them every part of you.
I think there was some pressure there, but you weren't fully pressured. The intensity of the emotions in the relationship changed your mindset as time went on and finally you were ready.
This is completely normal.
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