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New boyfriend , old boyfriend .
Well I dated this guy for a year & 3 months. Things just did'nt work out , I was heart broken . He broke up with in June . I fount out JUST 2 weeks ago he had been having " flings " with my BESTFRiEND from that January till the break up , he cheated on me & everything . I went through hell for 6 months trying to get over him . I started hanging with this guy Jason , we became BESTFRiENDS August . We did'nt have feelings for each other for a while , we were seriously bestfriends . Well as the months went by , we did start liking each other & started " talking " . Well my ex [ Justin ] - was my first love . Me and Jason date now , since November . It's great ; He treats me WAY better than Justin did . but after I fount out Justin cheated I really didn't want ANYTHiNG to do with him ... ain't talked to him since I fount out . but I feel bad & guilty because I think about him , I would'nt say it's alot , but more than I should . I know he's my first love & all and that's normal . but I just really want this to TRULEY be over , I feel bad because I feel as if i'm not giving my [ ALL ] to Jason . I'm in love with Jason though , I fell really fast because we knew each other so well & automaticly " clicked "... what do I do ... anyways to just NOT think about him ? ugh
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
It just takes time. Being betrayed lasts, it is going to hurt for a while.
Work on some mental exercises. When you start thinking about the ex, stop yourself and think about your new boy. When you can't refocus yourself go find something to do.
You also might want to call the ex at some point to tell him that he's a lying cheating scummy bastard. Not having vented those things could be leaving you with some issues.
Hell, talk to your boy. Explain to Jason that you just found out you'd been cheated on, and you're angry and hurt and don't know what to do about it. Don't make it a constant topic of conversation, but it could be a conversation you have where you ask what he thinks. Outside opinions are good and this would be a good showing of trust towards him on your part (bonding closer with a current is a good way to help yourself)
Cheating hurts, its understandable that you think about him. You need to cut him out of your life as completely as you can. That might mean one final conversation.
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I believe most of us girls feel and experience the exact same thing whenever we hook up with someone new and we can't seem to get past our former beau's.
The best thing for you to do so that you can give your entirety to Jason is to EVENTUALLY GET OVER Justin. How? Here are some pointers that might help:
1. Do not mention him to your mutual friends. Be gone from your ex's life. Remember the way he cheated on you! You have such a wonderful guy right now in your life. Would you take a chance and lose him?
2. Get rid of all the evidence of your ex -- put it all under your bed, inside the medicine cabinet, anywhere, but fast! Sometimes we can be such suckers on small things that can remind us of our ex's: smell of his perfume, a strand of hair, places we've been to. Flush him right out of your life immediately, and completely.
3. Never look back. Now this can be hard to accomplish. It's like we know not to look down when someone says don't look down..but we still look down. You can't look back until it's time to look back when you're truly over him.
4. You will get over him, remember that. You already have the advanage of having someone special in your life. Look forward to opening a new chapter of your life and sharing special memories with Jason.
Good luck, =)
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the same thing happened to me and i felt guilty for thinking bout my ex while dating a new great way better guy, but this is just how things are , and what finally let me stop thinking about my ex was thinking that he just didn't care about me enough casue he cheated on me, why should i even risk ruining things with this new guy fro someone who isnt worhty at all, and who..if he would have loved me like he said he did..he woudlnt have done several things like cheating . good luck :D and you'll just froget it as time goes by..also..its not like your thinking about your ex in that way..its just that you're realizing that this new guy does things you'r ex didnt and treats you better,, your mind is starting to really realize he was not the one for you and that this new guy is, by ..kind of .."comparing" them.. : )
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My ex and I dated for five years. Again, He was my first. However, I found out just about 2 weeks ago as well that he cheated on me. It's okay to still think about him but try not to let it get the best of you. It takes time to get over hurt and not to mention your first. You are probably not giving everything to Jason because you are still healing from the hurt from your ex. You are cautious and it's perfectly normal. It will get better it will just take some time. Try to take things slow with Jason, Get to know him really well and your trust will come in time. Any guy that cheats on any woman is just simply not worth there time. Think about what you have now, Think about what you had then. You said in your graph that he treats you so much better. You seem happy, He seems happy let it be happy.
xxx
BahaiMa22
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