I'm a 19 years old male from the Netherlands. I'm in my first year of studying psychology at the university of Utrecht, and plan to major in clinical psychology. I'm interested in nearly anything, so I know a little something about a lot of different subjects. My areas of expertise lie in philosophy, religion and spirituality.
Gender: Male
Member Since: March 12, 2005
Answers: 71
Last Update: January 22, 2010
Visitors: 5585
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Im really falling for this guy right now his name is dez. He really listens to me and doesn't ignore me like all the other guys i dated. The only problem is he libes in georgia and i live in washington dc. Im really falling in love with him. What should I do you guys. (link)
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Sometimes, people meet eachother over the internet and fall in love, and sometimes it even turns into a succesful relationship. As they say, true love knows no boundaries. Try to find out if he likes you in this way too, for example, ask him if there's a girl he's into at the moment. If you find out he likes you too, you can take it from there, see if it will last, perhaps arrange that you two can meet during hollidays. If he doesn't, you'll still have a good online friend. If you need to take some distance from him to get over him, by all means do so, and just tell him. He'll understand if you tell him nicely. Good luck.
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well about the young boy earlier we had sex 2 day ago and we didnt use a condom and he bused in me a told me we couldnt have sex anymore he always do this and i dont understand why he does this over and over again he knows how i feel but when i push him away he make a way back in my life to hurt me again it really hurts like someone stabbed me in my chest (link)
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Tell him to fuck off, don't let him get back into your life. If you can't get him to stay away yourself, press charges for harrasment against him, get him a restraining order. You don't have to accept this.
Also, you might want to check if you have any STD's since you didn't use a condom. And a pregnancy test if you're not on the pill.
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Iused to be a very fun guy a few years back
a chatterbox and full of fun talk but since my
olevels exams two years back i cant seem to think of anything to say to anyone. I want to talk to people and stuff but its like my mind is completely empty.
Its not like ive gone slow or something, cause i
can still study good and think on anything on anything i want. But the spontaneous thoughts that came in by themselves all the time they're just gone. Does anybody know if this is a disease or something? (link)
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I don't know. You could have changed, matured perhaps. But maybe you just spend too much time studying and other intellectually straining activities? If you're stressed out, pre-occupied or just using your thinking machine too much, you might be too tired to be spontaneous and funny. I hope this helps.
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Hey well i have been dating my boyfrind for 1 year and 2 mounths now and i have never had a proplme with him hanging out with his friends, but his friends smoke and stuff like that. A cuple of weeks ago me and this girl got into a HUGE argument and she is going around saying she wants to beat my ass and stuff like that and this girl has been calling my boyfriend and telling him stuff like that. This girl unfourtunally is my boyfriends bestfriend's girlfriend so i sorta told my boyfriend its me or his bestfriend only caue of his girlfriend but i really do want to hang out with his friends agin without telling him not to and with out that bitch of a girlfrind marc has... what should i doo
sorry if this doesnt make ne sence im still pissed about the whole thing (link)
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I think you shouldn't have told your boyfriend to choose between you and his best friend. It's not his best friend's fault that you and his girlfriend got into an argument, he is not responsible for his girlfriend's behavior. I think you'd best leave both your boyfriend and his best friend out of this. Choosing between your lover and your best friend is nearly impossible, so don't make your boyfriend do that.
About this girl, you don't have to like her, she doesn't have to like you, to both hang out with the same group. If you two just ignore eachother it doesn't have to bother either of you. Good luck.
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I have been intimate with a guy for 3 years.And we have been in a relationship twice the only thing about it is that it lasted 4months .i really have feeling for him but i think he is scared of commitment,im 19 ill be 20 December and he just turned 19 june
ps i think im in love (link)
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Well, if he's scared, convince him that there's no reason to be scared. Show him your love, show him that you're the perfect girl for him (I'm not sure if you believe that yourself, people rarely have that much confidence, but you don't have to believe it as long as he does ;)). Also show him you're patient and respect his wishes and worries, this is important in gaining his trust.
And most of all talk to him. Find out what he wants in a relationship and of life in general.
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ok
so on the last episode of season 4 of laguna beach
theres this song by a guy
and it sounds acoustic
and its like it was easy when you were younger
just close the door and walk away
if anyone knows the song
tell me!!!
(link)
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EZ by Yorn Pete.
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i have had sex about three times in the past two weeks is this normal? i am only 13. my bf is coming over tonight only my bff is going to be there too and i dont know what we should do..my bf is 17. i have been goin out with him for 2 months and have sex with him 7 times and 3 times with other guys..whatshould i do tonight? (link)
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Well, I think 3 times in two weeks might be not so much for a healthy longlasting relationship. On the other hand, I think you're VERY young to be sexually active. The question is, do you enjoy having sex? If no, you shouldn't have it yet. If you do, it might be okay, though I'd make sure it was safe if I were you, since you've had multiple sex partners. Next point is, two months is very short. If it were my I'd wait AT LEAST 3 months before even beginning to think about sex.
Ask yourself why you are having sex with him. Do you love him? Do you enjoy having sex with him, or do you do it just to please him? You should only have sex with someone you love and when you enjoy it yourself. Do realise that most guys just want sex and think of nothing else, especially when they're 17. Does he really love you, or just use you for sex? Think about that.
Final point, I don't know what a bff is so I might not completely understand your situation.
I hope this helps a bit.
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i know she knows how i feel about her but maby she dosnt realize exacly how much things dont work out for us for more than 4-5 months because she said i get atached to easy maby and cause maby im to nice or somthing and she hates seeing me sad liek this .. what can i do i need her to fall for me again and find a way to keep it that way please this has been bothering me with the same girl for years now 4 years acually (link)
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Listen to me. NO girl in the world is worth it to change who you are for. If she's uncomfortable with you being very attached, that's her fault, it is who you are. You can try to limit your expressions of attachement, but you shouldn't try to become less attached. Personally I think that's a good trait.
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I have this friend, and shes like a rocker girl who likes ACDC and after knowing her since like first grade, Im okay with that. But shes so unconfident and thinks shes like super ugly and nobody likes her, and i tell her she isnt and like try to help her improve, but it hasnt really been helping. also with her grades, which have been dropping, and she likes some guy and is devoting alot of time to get his attention when he supposedly might like someone else! (she says hes nice to her.. but nothing has happened!) i mean, maybe if she tried a little in school and like not became too nice, but really acted like herself, she could improve. but it hasnt happened, and its getting a little annoying to listen to all of her problems, when all i want to have some fun with her.. but its changed since we entered middle school, last year. maybe im being too strict.. i mean i've coped with her and gave her advice, but what can i do? i dont want to end our friendship, but how can i make her feel better about herself? also.. like sometimes she tries too hard, and she says like completely random stuff.. i mean i think theres a point where you're being yourself and another would be just stretching it.. you know what I mean? aaaaaaaaaaack. i know how it feels to be uncomfortable in social situations, but whenever i'm meeting new people and stuff she always crowds around me and doesnt even talk to the others.. when she wants to be more social! even like a hi or something. i guess shyness is hard to overcome (though im kinda shy too, but only in school).
sorry this was real long, but theres alot to say! thanks for helping too! (link)
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Why don't you tell her what you just told us. It's all you can do. Try to bring it in a friendly and nonjudging way though, there's no use in risking your friendship when you're trying to help her. But really, talking to her is all you can do.
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I'm getting mixed signals from a crush in my school. He's in some of my classes and we're both really shy. He know's somebody likes him, but he doesn't know it's me. Or at least I dont think he knows its me... but anyways
I always think about him, and I sometimes look at him during class... and he sometimes looks at me during classes. When we are walking through the school hallways and we pass each other, we have like a split second moment where we both look at each other. A few days ago, my friend and I were walking towards a class and he was standing right infront of his locker, and so we passed him and my friend goes "hey, he looked at you as we were walking by." He's never talked to me before, and I've never talked to him before, but I find him looking at me alot. I've never heard anybody say anything about if he likes a girl... and I'm just so confused!!!!!
I really like him alot, and I'm a VERY shy person. My mom won't let me date until I'm 16, and I'm 14 right now. so I'm just super scared that one day he'll talk to me and I'll be a total mess! i really want to know if he likes me or not, and i keep asking my friend to ask him if he likes anybody, but she keeps chickening out!
What should I do? How do I found out if he likes me? I dont want him to think i'm a stalker.
signed,
confused! (link)
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Just ask him yourself. Yeah, that's hard, but it's the best way of overcoming your shyness, and the best way of finding out (if he is shy too he might not want to tell your friend). Walk up to him when no one is around and tell him you like him and ask him how he feels about you. It probably will be awkward, but know that he will feel kind of awkward too. Things like these get easier if you do them more often, so you might as well start doing them right now ;) Good luck.
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I really like this guy at my school, and I think he likes me too. I think we both know that we like each other too, but that we just both haven't had the courage to ask the other person out. I've never asked a guy out before, so I'm kind of nervous, partly about how to ask without sounding stupid, I guess. But mostly my nerves are based on paranoia that I know probably isn't logical, but still scares me anyway.
I've only been in one relationship before. It ended very badly due to both stupid decisions and lack of knoweledge on my part, and in retrospect, probably never should have happened in the 1st place, for the same reasons. I don't want to go into the details because it's a very long story, but basically I learned the hard way that you shouldn't have a relationship when a) there is a big age difference, at least not in highschool, b)you're not good friends and c)you havn't known him very long.
I know that this experience shouldn't affect a crush on a guy my age who i've been friends with for over a year, but I'm still scared anyway. I'm afraid of doing anything about it at all, i guess, because everything I did before only made everything worse, and I don't want to do something stupid again and cause yet another disaster.
My best friend knows about my experience and understands why I'm scared. A few of my other friends, though, know I like this guy, but don't know about what happened to me before. They can't see why I haven't asked this guy out yet. One friend in particular. She keeps bugging me and bugging me and wont stop. Every time I see her: "Did you ask him yet?", "When are you going to ask him?", "If you don't soon I'm going to ask him for you."
How do I explain to her why I'm afraid with out explaining the whole situation? (which no one but my best friend knows about, it happened at summer camp). Or should I just overcome my irrational fears and ask him and hope for the best?
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, and sorry it's so long! (link)
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The best way to overcome your fears is to do that which you are afraid of. And since you two like each other and know eachother, it's a pretty safe shot. I'd say go for it. And ask your friend who's bugging you to stop and tell her that it's getting kind of irritating. I hope that helps, because friends (females in particular) can be very annoying.
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how can i get dried on/stuck on tape off my walls? i cant buy anything, just something i have around the house. its from a longgg time ago. thanks! (link)
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Well in that case, you could try soaking it with water, maybe with some soap in it. If it's strong tape like duct tape or similar you might have to use very hot water.
Or you could spend your afternoon trying to scratch it off.
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14/f
The other day, I posted something, about my friend hurting my feelings. But, I hardly went into ANY detail. So, now that I feel a little better, I'll go into some serious detail.
-I go to a rich snobby catholic school. Which means, every girl in there, is super mean.
-Even like the loser girls, arn't even nice, no one is.
-We don't do anything in our school, like dances & junk. [ another good reason to leave. i like schools that have activities & stuff, yeah i'm weird..]
-i may hang out with the popular group in school, but i'd rather have no friends at all.
If you were at my school, you'd understand. You can't walk away from your lunch table, without worrying their talking about you.
-Their all SUPER boring. The only way they have fun, is if their picking on someone else.
-None of the guys like us, because they think were all bitches. so, therefore you can't even have crushes on guys & stuff [ they may sound like a retarded reason to switch schools.. but come on, think about it.]
-Theirs only one girl who i actually like. But, sometimes.. she even gets on my nerves, because shes kinda a slut.
So, thats my school. I got in a big fight with my 'best friend' yesterday, I was saying how I was just thinking, only THINKING about switching schools. & shes like why? & i was like.. well its not like you talk to me alot anymore & stuff. [ Yeah, sounds like a stupid reason to leave.. not. Shes one of the few real friends i have.] & she got all defensive saying no im not, oh my god! & stuff.. so then, she got one of the MEANEST girls in the grade involved. & the girl ended up screaming at me & everything. So, i ended up leaving, & i cried myself for sleep, for two hours.
Give me one good reason why I should stay at that horrible school. (link)
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There isn't. Don't let her get to you, just go to another school and make a clean start. Really it sounds like the best thing to do in your situation. Just do it! Good luck :)
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ok. well me and this guy have been "together" for about 6 or 7 months now. and were like on and off "together" i guess you could say.. and like we have both gone off and have seen other people but we always end up coming back to each other because the other people just dont compare...as we say. and he told me he doesnt see himself dating me so i basically have no chance is what is he saying right? but hes always so sweet to me, and we have these nights. on fridays, where we just every friday were together and hang out all day from after school until like curfew and its amazing cause we are like a couple, but then we get to school and hes the total opposite, he'll ignore me and will just sit there and stare at me. but then theres days like today for example, when he saw me in the morning he like picked me up and like almost kissed me ya know. and everything and then looked at his friends and put me down and walked away. its like hes embarassed to talk to me in front of his friens, even though all his friends like me and talk to me and ugh. i know he knows that i like him alot, and i know he knows that i know that he still likes me, even though hes said that hes liked 2 other girls and were seeing where it was going with them, but still came back to me and i was just sitting there waiting for him. how can i say to him, that even though hes been with two other girls, and just because he doesnt see himself dating me, that we can still give it a try? or what do i say to him to make him realize that i am the girl for him? i dont know what to do with this situation. i love the boy to death, and i cant move on no matter how hard i try, yet.. thats all i want to do. but i still want to date him and be with him... im 15/f if that helps.. and the guys is 18.. (link)
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Okay. It sounds a little bit like he is playing with you. Remember that you're not a toy! You're a human being. The best thing you can do is talk to him and ask him to explain his behavior. It can only get better from here, even if you two fall apart it's better than staying his girl-toy. Tell him you love him, if that wont work nothing will. You do desever way better than to be treated like this, even if you feel like you want to put up with it just to be with him. Retain your selfrespect, he should either completely go for you or leave you be.
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here is the deal, i am extremely depressed cause my grandpa had his arm amputated, his legs might be amputated too...my cousin..she takes drugs like exstacy or however you spell it..and pot and she might have not told me what else....she used to cut herself..dont know if she still does...she lost her virginity to some worthless guy...i thought it was supposed to be special..:'( this boy i like ...i told him that i do and i dont know whats goin on with him..mixed signals.....i guess i dont know, he's confusing..this new boy is coming on monday..really cute but my friend's mom will be friends with his mom cause they met today, he will sit next to celeste cause the principal showed where he'll be sitting, so hell share textbooks cause in my country you dont get them at school...and i dont know whats going on with my friend she says she doesnt like him but whatever...my best friend has these problems she says i have small crushes..hers can make her future...that hurt me a lot...her mom is a lunatic....but finally i asked for a goth boy yesterday and you know what happens? a really hot boy from canada dressed in black with dark brown hair and blue eyes... just what i wanted dark hair and bright eyes on a guy... shows up..and everyone is assuming since celeste is a blonde and im a punk/goth brunette well fight and hell get her some say..but she is not a dumb blonde she is a smart blonde..from england..not a brit accent though anyway...my friends have been a little hard on me when they mess with me, its been kinda too much for me right now, i tell them to stop but they say they r just joking, no one understands me..i dont know whats going on, im sooooo confused..my life is a mess i want everything to stop so i can sort it out...i know this seems like a normal teen drama..but its hitting me real real hard..should i let my emotions out or should i keep them in and help everyone else? i want to be like that cause i feel like those things pass by and people have bigger problems...i dont know.. (link)
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Wow. Calm down. First of all, I'm sorry about your grandfather. But some things just can't be helped. It's okay to feel sad about things like that, but there's no use in letting it spoil your life as well as his. Your grandfather probably doesn't want that to happen either, he is the one suffering from it, his handicap shouldn't make it impossible for the both of you to stop enjoying certain things. There is nothing that makes grandparents more happy than seeing happy grandchildren. Also remember that you share this grief with the rest of your family, so don't be afraid to talk about it with them.
Next up, your cousin. That's entirely her problem. I understand you love her and want her to be okay, but you can't help her if she doesn't want to be helped. Be there for her, listen to her, tell her you disagree with her substance abuse, but don't get carried away with it. It's her life, not yours.
About all these boys. Don't focus on three at a time. Focus on one, and if it doesn't work, then you can always move on. Don't listen to your friends if they're hard on you, just shut them out. Don't listen when a girl says her crushes can make her future, you guys sound way too young to worry about stuff like the future.
Remember that you cannot help other people before you help yourself. Let your emotions out. You're responsible for your own life, so try to make it as good as you can. Of course helping others is important, but you should be able to do that without suffering from it yourself.
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i hung out with this guy about 3 weeks ago and we havent talked since.. it was my first time hanging out with him and he wanted just to get to know me better and we made out a few times. the thing is, i dont think he would be using me for like sex or anything because i know other people that have used me and he wasnt the type that would do that.. k so he was so cute to me when we were hanging out like we would hold hands when we were at the movies, and he would open the door for me.. he was a gentleman. i like him and he hasnt been online in a while and i cant call him because that would be awkward.. he told my other friend that he doesnt IM people, he waits for them to IM him.. but i dont know. and i acutally like this guy.. i dont know what this means? wat should i do.. should i just forget about him and move on? please helpppp (link)
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IM him, or better, go to him and tell him in person that you really like him. Of course there's the danger of discovering that it's not mutual, but at least you'll know for sure then. Good luck.
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16/f
So I went out with this guy for two weeks last may but he's been in love with me since we were in 8th grade, possibly even 7th.
He makes it clear he likes me and even though we broke up in may he called me baby and told me he loved me every night until October.
Then in october he asked this other girl to homecoming and then he asked her out.
My problem is that I'm still in love with him and it's clear he likes me. He sometimes still tells me he loves me and flirts with me all the time.
I have no idea what to do
I really want to have another chance with him but I also don't want to hurt the girl he's going out with now because she's so adorable and innocent.
Do I stand by and watch him leave me and love her or do I tell him how I feel? (link)
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Why did you guys break up if you're still in love with eachother?
Did you ever let him know that you're in love with him as well? If he really loves you and knows you love him, they'll break up eventually. You might as well speed up the process, because the longer their relationship lasts, the more hurt she will be (if she really loves him that is). I know that sounds like a bad thing to do, it's the rational thing to do. Of course you should do what you're most comfortable with.
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i asked my guy best friend out like, 2 weeks ago. he said no. he said that our friendship is more important than a relationship and that it lasts longer. i agree, but i really think that our friendship could've survived it. but it's all over now. we didn't talk anytime in between me asking him out til the day he said no to me. that afternoon, at skool, [it was a friday], while we were waiting for our ride, he came up to me and started talking to me as if nothing had happened before that. i was happy that we got talking to each other again, but at times i feel like maybe he's just talking to me because he feels sorry that he hasn't been talking to me a while before that. but after that day, everything's been normal between us, even though i still feel the awkward-ness between us. don't get me wrong, i'm happy we're talking and hanging out again, but there's still times when i feel sad that he said no, and i really wanted to see if our relationship would work. i don't wanna feel like this, because i'm afraid i might blurt something out to him and make it more awkward. so i was wondering if yu had any advice on what i should do to just kinda keep all that in the back of my mind. because i don't wanna be talking to him and thinking about how much he broke my heart. please help! (link)
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Tough one, normally it's the other way around. The best thing to do, in my opinion, is talking to him. Tell him that you're convinced the friendship would survive even if you two ever broke up. If it doesn't help changing his mind, you'll just have to accept it. You might want to take some distance for a little while to get over him a bit. If you do, you should tell him though, I'm sure he'll respect that.
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i need help...its my boyfriends birthday and i duno wat to get him or do for him...i wana do somethin special...anyone got any good ideas? (link)
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Sexual favors are the best gift you can give a guy ;)
A good second, if you want it to be special, is to give him some kind of accesory, depending on his style and taste. Something that will remind him of you. You're his girlfriend, so if everything is alright you yourself are the most wonderful gift he's ever got, from life itself. Anything that will remind him of that will make him glow.
Or buy him a ferarri. You can't go wrong with that.
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My boyfriend is really shy, how do I hint to him that I want to make out with him without coming on too strong? please help because I really want to make out with him.. but I dont know how to approach it.. (link)
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Well, the only advice I can give you is: just do it! (Almost) all boys want to make out, but some of us don't dare to take the first step. Try to be alone with him, and don't rush into it. Start out with some cuddling, kissing him on the cheek. Then just a peck on the lips. Next time you kis him on the lips, keep your mouth on his a bit longer, gently open up your lips. By now he should get the idea, but if he doesn't, lick his lips a little bit with your tongue. If he still doesn't open his mouth you might want to tell him to, or asl him if he doesn't want to make out. Don't get mad or act rejected or anything, he might not understand (guys really are stupid, half the time we don't get why girls feel rejected or insulted). Maybe he's not ready for it, so go easy on him if he doesn't want it (yet!).
Also note that I am a guy and not experienced with seducing guys. I just tried to imagine what I'd want a girl to do if I were too shy to make out with her.
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