Gender: Male
Member Since: November 18, 2007
Answers: 170
Last Update: February 13, 2014
Visitors: 12351
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i am really confused. i met this guy through my friend when we were at the cinema and he kept talking to me when i was there. he was asking loads of questions about me and stuff and once i got home and i noticed he had added me on msn. for days we were talking and i really got along with him well. and i was under the impression that he liked me. (without him actually saying it) he has said i am good looking, i am funny etc and that he wants a girlfriend. so we were talking every day for about a week and now he just does not message me. its weird. i would message him but i dont want to if he has just decided he doesnt like me? i do like him and would like to keep talking to him. if he has met someone else does that mean he isnt interested in me? (that sounds a really stupid question) but i am just confused. and if he has met someone else should i not speak to him anymore? (link)
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i know it' snot easy for girls to make a move. it sounds like you like this guy some. who knows if he met someone? but why take the chance for him to? jus tmssage him someday. don't make a big deal out of it. maybe you will talk, maybe you won't. you aren't ever going to have the life you want if you let life come to you. you have to take chances. you have to to make an effort to a degree. life will pass you by and you'll spend time wondering why you didn't just do something. i've made these mistakes before. there is nothing worse than than liking someone and not making a move then finding out later that they were interested but gave up on me. saying "hello" is not being overly aggressive. life is easier when someone just boldly chases you. but it just doesn't always happen that way. let's say you waste the next 2 months wondering what he thinks. that's 2 months you could have been meeting someone else. life passes by quickly. you have to take the chances you get. the older you get the less chances you have. if he took the time to to try to chat with you and such he'd probably want to hear from you anyhow.
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A week and a half ago I admitted to my guy friend that I liked him and I pretty much scared the hell out of him. We didn't talk over that weekend or the monday after, and by then I'd already realized that the way I told him (long story) was way too forward, and in addition to the fact that it's not everyday a girl justs blurts that out to him. Then on tuesday, which was last week I apologized for freaking him out and he said it was ok and he pretty much admitted that I freaked him out but that was the last time we discussed it. I'm completely relieved that we're still friends but he never said whether he feels te same way or not, so I'm thinking that either he's been thinking about it and is not sure how to respond or not sure how he feels or he's just trying to forget about it. Last Wednesday though I could clearly tell he was nervous whenever I looked at him or spoke to him, not in the way he spoke but just by his body language and facial expression. and in one of our classes he still seemed nervous but he was still talking to me and we would still laugh about some stuff so I was relieved that he wasn't avoiding me or anything. But during that period, and we weren't doing anything that period we were just hanging out while other people in our class were taking a test, he kept looking over at me, which he never usually does, so i don't know what to think of that. After tat day vacation started and tomorrow it'll be a week since we last talked and he hasn't texted me or anything, which I guess is not too surprising because he never really did that much in the past. I can't help to wonder if he's still thinking about it&is still unsure or if he's been trying to forget about it. But either way I would assume that once we're back in school on Monday no matter what the case is he's still going to have the fact that I like him in mind whenever he talks to me. But I'm scared after this week and a half the thought will have blown over too much. And I've decided that if he decides he likes me back, then the ball is in his court, and I won't push him about it or bring it up unless he does, because if anything I'm really lucky that he's still my friend, that usually wouldn't happen to me (but with guys ive like in the past, they always found out from other people, not me, telling this particular guy directly that I liked him was one of the hardest things I've ever done). Even though I'm completely willing to remain friends if that's what ends up happening, I still want to be kindof flirty with him and sortof make sure he doesn't forget how I feel and still considers ever giving me a chance. How do I act around him without being too pushy and being too obvious? (link)
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you have to be careful when telling someone how much you like them. you may have bene in love for ages but when it comes out it's fresh to them and just a lot to take in. i've scared people in the past by being honest and forward. now you feel like you have to talk about it but at the same time are scared to talk about it and make it worse. in my mind, i can't see you not ever talking about this again. i feel that you have to for yoru own good but it could possibly make it worse. i'd just write an email to him or little letter. to me, that way there is no confrontation. but i'd jsut say "i'm not sorry for what i said to you. but i'm sorry about how it may have come out. the last thing i want are for things to be awkward. i don't expect you to have the same feelings as me. the ball is in your court. if anything happens it will be because you want this too. things will be the same with us unless you walk through this door that i have opened. if and when that happens that will be your choice. i just felt you were worth taking a chance on." i really respect your courage. it is so difficult to tell someone that you like them. it has never been easy for me. on top of it, they always seem surprised which amazes me. i feel like i'm so obvious and then they are surprised i have any feelings at all. just go slow with this guy. take any conversation you can get from him from now.
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okay me and my boyfriend had sex twice, were both sixteen. everytime i give him head or something he lasts like a minute before he tells me he is about to cum then we wait a second or two till it goes away and make out or something and when we have sex its like 6 thrusts then he is about to cum or he does cum. how can i help him last longer? i want to get off when we have sex. please i need advice! (link)
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I'm going to assume that your boyfriend actually cares if you get off. You two are going to have to do other things to help you get to your tipping point before there is any penetration. He's young and this is somewhat normal. The good news is that you excite the hell out of him. You don't say if you are using condoms or not. They can desensitize him a bit and help him last longer. The one other poster talked about your boyfriend masturbating like 2 hours prior to the sex. I definitely wouldn't have him do it THAT much earlier. Ask your boyfriend how long it takes it to recharge his batteries. Honestly, i'd say the best way to go about things is to for him to masturbate (with or without your help) then start doing things like making out and whatever so you can heat up. by the time you get pretty warmed up, he should be getting close to when he can go again. now that youu're worked up then go for the intercourse. you two would have to work with the timing to get it right.
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so there's this guy that liked me [let's call him bob], then pretty much played me got back with his ex girlfriend. it has been almost 4 months now that he's been with her and we haven't talked at all unless i was the one who tried to text him or something. and over spring break i was babysitting. one of the little kids got into my phone and started calling a bunch of people in my contacts because i accidentlaly left it out and my phone is a peice of crap so it doesn't lock. well. one of the people the kid called was bob. apparently the kid just screamed into the phone and hung up. well. i got a couple texts from bob and he was saying wow cool, i know you hate me you dont have to lie that your babysitting and i was liek im not lying !! then i realized the little kid got into my phone. so then. we started talking. he immediatley told me that him and his gf.. [lets call her beeyotch] had to take a little break but that thye're fine now and stuff. then he was really upset about the past week. and i was trying to make him fele better, get him to be positive, make him laugh yuh know? and he kept saying like, "thats cute" and stuff. and then he said, "sometimes when i see you i think, i wish i was with her." so then we talked for like ever. the next day is easter and we were talking really flirtily [sp?] and i was so so so happy but i had to keep reminding myself that he is with beeyotch. but he kept saying im awesome and flirting and saying that he didnt know how i did it but i made him happy. and i was glowing. so happy. because ive been in love with bob. i have. so then it was all good. we talked all day like 2 days straight. but anyways. im so happy. i see him in school he wasnt with beeyotch in the morning. she kept giving me the death stare in the hallways and intentionally passing the room he is in. i wasn't intimidated. then he saw me and he waved at me i just smiled really big :]]]]] and then. before lunch. i see him with beeyotch and her friend and beeyotch is touching his back and they're all laughing. i got SO upset. so then we have the class that bobs in with me and whenever i see him without her it makes me happy. but she was there. with him. at the door. i was pissed. hes leading me on so all that happened. he kinda talked to me but not really. then i got in his face and told him i was upset. and then we left and i sent him this really long text message almost 8 text messages telling him how i feel and hes like.. im not leading you on, i still like you idk what to do.
and now im just liek wow. reall you so are leading me on. and hes like alright fine. and i was like whatever. and hes like "i dont know what to tell you." and i was like, ok. and then he was like, id liek to tell you what you wanna hear ti make you happy cause i really want you to be happy." and i was like, dont. and he was like, i wont. and i was like, great thanks. and he was like, you dont believe me do you. and i was like, what is there to belive? and he was like, nevermind. and i was like so youre not even gonna explain urself? and he was like, i just want you to know that i do care about you alot. and i said, i wish that was enough. and he was like, i promise one day ill make everything up to you. and i was like, im not gonna hold my breath, nor am i gonna wait for that day. then he never texted me after that.
i dont know what to do. i dont know what to do anout any of this. can someone please help me, m begging you.
btw im 16/f. bob is 16/m (link)
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The guys is leading you on because he can. The bigger the lie the more willing we are to believe it. Deep down you want him back.Youmay only want him back to win. The thing is, He played you before. He's playing you now and also the other girl. You aren't going to find happiness with this guy. Yes you may get him for a short period of time. It will end badly more than likely. As soon as this guy gets a girl he immediately starts working on other girls. You probably aren't the only one that he is leading on. There is probably a girl number 3, 4 and even 5. I think you should really knock off any contact with him and look for another guy. It will do 2 things. One, it will make him jealous if he actually cares. Two, it will get your mind off of stuff while you try to find someone else. I'd chat up his friends and when he comes around ignore him and say you gotta leave. I dont see much reason to be nice and he needs his mind played with.
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I am always feeling down and blue but I'm always hyper and naturally funny. I neve stop talking. But inside I hate myself and wish I was either dead or someone else.
I cut myself on average twice a month when things get ontop of me
I feel like I have no identity but whenever I ask for help the people around me are so wrapped up in themselves and say stuff like "that's a shame" and my sis just says "yeah well get over it"
I am so stressed and noone cares life is all crap and I might as well just sleep forever
P.S I'm not gonna kill myself so persuasion is not needed
Any advice ? (link)
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You're better off coming on here for help than with a lot of friends. People are too worried about their own problems usually. I can understand being frustrated and depressed. I'm going to guess you are in high school. You may not think you have an identity or maybe it just isn't wrapped up in some typical package. but that doesn't mean you don't have one. we all do. It sounds as if you partly mean by your identity dilemma that you aren't noticed as much as you'd like. That's the way i take it anyhow. forgive me if i'm wrong. Sometimes it's hard to have something that gets people's attention or be noticed. Let's say you are a world class chef. Nobody is going to know. It's not like you could bring a kitchen to school. All i mean is some things that make a person stand out just aren't as flamboyant. Also, some people are very good at lots but just aren't standouts at one thing. You may have someone that's way too tall for their own good but they are an outstanding basketball player. They may have nothing else to offer but everyone knows they can do that. There is nothing wrong with being well rounded. It makes a person interesting once you know them. I'm going to go out on a limb here. You're naturally funny. You have lots of energy. You already have become good at faking emotions. Why don't you try your luck with stuff like theater? If you are funny then you probably have comedic timing. You may have a natural gift with it. Plus, if you do it well, you'll instantly hear the laughter from the crowd to know you are good. If you are that hyper that could come in handy with any sort of dance or performance. Heck, if you could just try your luck at comedy, or even just do things like make funny videos for youtube. I just think that if someone said "you know, you really made me laugh there". Maybe it would do you some good. We all have worth. We all have talents. But for a moment, let's say i've misunderstood and you really meant that you don't know what group you should hang with. Yes it is nice to be in one of the cliques. It makes life easier. At the same time there are a good number of people that can mix with any group. They are the ones that head out ahead of the game. Not everyone can do that. It's possible that you may be if you are unsure of your identity. I hope i was some help. If not, i'd love another crack and maybe help you.
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how can i stop being depressed.
All i want to do is sit home
and listen to music..and imagine if i was thinner and prettier..
i havent had a boyfriend in 3 years and my mom told me today that she thinks im wasting away the best years of my life
i dont want to do anything..i think my weight is holding me back im 5'3 and i weight 176 pounds..
i have been gaining weight left and right because i dont want to do anything..yeah sometime i go out with friends and with my family..but right now they went to see the miley cyrus movie..and i didnt want to go..my mom said that i need help and i need to snap out of it..but i dont know what to do..HELP what can i do..i dont think i can afford mental help..! (link)
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It seems pretty obvious that your weight and your depression goes hand in hand. First off, some foods that we eat are to cope with depresion. Things like chocolate, or bread or many foods that are higher in fat will have things in them to be an emotional band aid. If weight gain depresses you than you can just end up spiraling. It's not like you're damaged. You can change this. you're young. That hardest step towards changing is that first one. Yes, the other people are right where you should like yourself no matter what. But not all of us are strong enough to have that much confidence at rougher times. You're not that far off from a healthy weight. My best friend had used Nutrisystem and had great results. Also, you seem to not want to go outside. It sounds like you almost want to hide from others because of your weight. It isn't easy. But this can be overcome. Make a little plan. Nothing big. Basically say something like "on such and such date I start" this will give you time to enjoy things you like. then on that day just have stuf mapped a tad bit. just like having your food intake sorta set up and some sort of activity to help burn a few extra calories. The thing is, once you start and start noticing changes it will movitivate you. Your mood will get better. Don't be scared. You can have the life you want. You really can.
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I've been trying to masturbate lately, but not having much success. I was given some good advice to look up techniques online, which I would like to do. However I'm afraid that my parents will look at my internet history and be angry. I've heard had an encounter with them looking at my history before, but something makes me nervous about it. Is it wrong to be researching for that sort of thing? My parents aren't overly religious or extremely strict. But I do know they both expect me to wait to have sex until marriage, but I don't think that ties into masturbating because its not "giving myself" away too soon, or putting me at risk of STDs and pregnancy.
Also, I was wondering if anyone had some website suggestions for this sort of thing?
Thanks in advance! (link)
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i don't know your parents to know how religious they are. my guess from how you speak is they want a few things. they don't want you pregnant at too early of an age. they also would want you to know that you're special and that you shouldn't throw away your virginity. i don't think that's necessarily a religious belief. they just want the best for you. your first time should be special and you shouldn't regret losing it. i would assume that your parents would assume that you will masturbate. it's very much assumed that boys will. your parents can't be from the stone age. i'm sure they know you will reach a time where you are curious and have desires. it could be awkward for your parents to find out that you were on a site like that. i'd say to just use a proxy site. there are tons of them. most people will use them to go onto myspace and similar sites from school. but what would show up in the history would be the proxy site and not the actual tip site. i think it would save both you and your family some grief. all you'd have to do is go on the proxy site, put in google, then once on google look for what you want. moms are normally better at handling this stuff than fathers so if worse came to worse you could have a talk with her and just let her know you are at this stage.
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Okay, so I've always considered myself to be straight since I have never had a crush on a girl or anything like that. I don't have the same feelings for girls (sexual tension) as I do for boys. My relationships have always been with boys, and I've never thought of a girl as anything more than a friend.
However, sometimes I like to imagine myself having sex with women. Sometimes a threesome or more. Something about the naked female body intrigues me. Female porn turns me on. I've often wondered if I'd ever sexually experiment should the right person come along. But I don't really want to be bisexual, since I'd never have a relationship with a girl. So am I still straight? (link)
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everybody has thoughts now and again about each sex. people just have those thoughts to different degrees. you sound bi curious or bi from the waist up. this is very common. it's nothing to worry about. at some point you'll know if this is just a nice fantasy for you or if it is something you truly want to try. if you have any choice in the matter it is definitely better to try this before you get into a heavy relationship. if you're with a guy things and want to try things you can't really do it on your terms. either the guy will be all into it like a horn dog or they will have some confidence issue. also, it can kill a relationship. if you ever do this, just do so when you're single. you won't have anyone to answer to. in my experience, most girls have done something with another girl. in my experiences i'd say 60-70 percent of women have some sort of same gender experience. they just aren't always open about it. so you are not alone at all. you'll figure this out eventually. it just takes awhile for us to find ourselves.
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Okay me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 9 months. Me and my gay bestfriend hungout the other day and got drunk together alone. Me and my gay bestfriend had sex. For like 1 minute then I stopped and said I cant do this. We were both really drunk and didnt know what we were doing. And I really love my boyfriend and if I tell him he will dump me and beat my bestfriends ass and I dont want that too happen. But I cant have sex with my boyfriend now not thinking about what I did with my gay bestfriend. What should I do? (link)
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i wouldn't tell the bf. maybe if you had a one night stand at a party or something. but i don't see much good out of telling. plus, i think the friend should get a vote in this. if their ass is going to get kicked, i think you need to know if they can deal with that. i'm just guessing that you probably have always been very open with this friend. maybe even undressing around them before and such. it just seems that it was like two friends letting themselves be vulnerable. then once it went past a certain point you two kind of forgot the situation. boyfriends come and go. you stopped this. yes it went further than you'd want it to. but you were also drunk and thinking slower than if sober. three people may get hurt if you say anything. only you hurt if you don't
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17/F
Seattle, Washington
Hello, thanks for reading :) I have really liked this guy for almost a year, and I know at a time he really liked me too. I am going to be seeing him at a dance soon, and I have felt like this would be the perfect oppertunity to clarify a few things between us. Should I ask him how he feels? How should I tell him how I feel? Thanks again for the help! (link)
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Yes you should try to talk to him. Yes,you should make it clear that you have some interest. I'd just keep it really simple and say something like 'i like you and i'm always hoping that we may get to hang out more.' you don't want to say anything too over the top even if you do feel it. you don't want to be like "oh i'm so in love and can't get you out of my mind" all i mean is there is such a thing as coming on too strong. it scares people. even if they like you they don't think they can return the feelings. so be somewhat moderate with any talk of feelings. if the guy doesn't feel the same it's okay. sometimes guys will warm to the idea a bit down the road. you have one life. you're going to feel miserable if you never take a chance. the worst that can happen is you'll be sad for a few days. but there is so much more upside. go for it. each time you take a chance it gets easier.
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i know everyone likes being talked to dirty.
i love sex, im a sex feen. but i cant express (verbally) how i want things. i usually end up getting on top and doing what i want instead of telling my man how to make it just right. sometimes im imbaressed, and i really want to be able to be sexy and have fun but i need help.
basicially, i need someone to help guide me on what to say, when to say it, and what is sexy to a man. (link)
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Every guy is a bit different so I can't speak completely for your guy. But i'll try to help the best i can. first off, you have to understand that what appeals to you won't have the same effect on him. girls usually end up being too lovey dovey or too much into the foreplay/teasing aspects. guys tned to want to feel like "what have i gotten myself into??" that's the message you want to send. I'm sure guys have said crude things to you or your friends. That's the kind of stuff that turns on the male mind. They didn't translate it to be appealing to you and that's why it sucks. but i think you ahve to be that direct. you have to make things all or nothing. passionate statements, big statements, be a bit over the top. don't look to spare his feelings.
but on another note, you said you can't get what you want. why don't you play a game with him. just like softly attack him and say "oh you're going to get some...if you do exactly as i say" then when he goes to respond, say "shhhh, i didn't say you can talk.". you can use this time to have it more like your way. plus if it goes well, you can say "i really liked this and that." guys want to be called good in bed. most of us are willing to listen and try things. don't feel bad for wanting to work with him. you just can't say something is "bad". you have to say that such and such is better.
you could always just play around and do various things. while doing them as it goes on say numbers to him as far as how good things feel. but this would sort of guide him a bit. i don't know if you two are quite that open. but i'd say that you could take turns with each other doing so to just learn about one another.
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Okay...this will be long.
13/f
It first started one day when I went to my friend Matt's picture section on Myspace. Well...I was looking at a photo and I looked down at the comments... I saw my name mentioned it one...so I read it... apparently it was his sister or friend...I don't know. Well...she was saying all types of mean things about me. She said I was a stalker..( because I liked him...I don't really after all this stuff happend.) that I was ugly that I need to stop calling him( I called him once..and that's it)she was gonna get my number from him and cuss me out... she said she was gonna tell him that he died the next time I would call. She said she was going to beat me up. Well...my friend told her off. Well..I was so mad because why didn't he stick up for me?I didn't know why he didn't delete the comment. Now..all his friends think I am a stalker. It really hurt me.. I cried for an hour. :/
Okay...(just to say it Andrea and matt are in 8th grade...Shalia and I are in 7th) now... that was a few weeks ago.
Now..he has a girl friend named Andrea..and she cussed out my friend Shalia and told her to stay away from Matt...for NO reason!! She told everyone untrue things...saying that Shalia called HER all the things that she called Shalia. Matt told Shalia to shut up and leave andrea alone...she told lies to him. Now...he's making fun of shalia...and I think me to...but he hasn't really acted like it, so i don't know!!..and were getting sick of it. I asked Matt in a myspace message whats up with all this. Now I am waiting to see what he has to say. What do you people think of this?? Like.. I like him...still and I can't believe I still do because he's such a jurk!! He told me I only like him for his looks and thats absolutly not true but he won't believe it I tryed to explain but he just doesn't understand. His girl friend made fun of him..before they went out and I don't thinks he knows that but I am not going to tell him that. So.. we had a dance yesterday...he just sat with Andrea most of the time. Like...when she got up and left him to dance and stuff.my friends told me he was watching me ...dance and everything.( we had a real good time even though they were being betchy...there not gonna bring are mood down) He and his friends were playing...and twisting each others legs..lol I don't know...but I like looked at him he catched me looking at blushed and stopped...lol I don't know if he did or not but...can someone please give me some advice with all this...it's really making me upset . Do you think he has any feelings for me? Sorry it's so long!!!
I'll rate fairly!!
THANKS FOR LISTENING!!! (link)
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I'm going to try to help here but more in general that the question you have up. You're young and there is nothing wrong at all with young. You're going to feel things for guys and they are simply going to act silly. They may like you one day. they may hate you the next. They may be nice to you until their friends come around then act differently. Your age is difficult. You feel things strongly and you will want to be around certain guys. Guys will be mean even if they like you sometimes. It hurts. I know it does. Then you have people that say things. One person says soemthing and it ends up all over the school. It's a very tough time to let your guard down. Don't worry about having a boyfriend or anything right now. Just let this time be a time to maybe have a boy come over to have dinner with your family and maybe watch movies. Keep things simpler and more friend like. Relationships come and go very fast at this age. People will date for a week then break up. It's more like a show than a real relationship. If things are meant to be more than friendship itwill happen. But by just being friends it takes the pressure off. It also allows you to say "we're just friends" if someone calls you a stalker. This guy you like does sound immature and if he likes you it seems he's uncomfy saying so. Don't feel the need that you have to be with one guy. Just get to be friends with a number of guys and then if a few of them like you then you have your pick. If you only like one then the whole world rests on whether or not they like you. It's a recipe for heartbreak. No guy is worth your tears.
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Alright I'm 16, male, and for the last month or two I've not been able to get sexually excited. It used to happen a lot, at least twice a day. Now I'm lucky if I can get once a week. What's happened to me? How can I get my mojo back? I haven't talked to my parents about it because it's quite embarrassing for me. I don't feel anymore stressed and other than this my life in the past few months has improved by quite a bit. I would appreciate any help offered. (link)
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high blood pressure, high cholesterol or diabetes could be causes. but you are young. are you on any kind of meds?
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my boyfriend always glinse at girls asses and it piss me off i confront him all the time.he doesnt stare or break his neck or anything but i feel like those eyes should be staring at me. (link)
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I understand what you are going through is frustrating to you. I sympathize with that. But know this, guys are by far more visual than girls. It isn't always being up to no good. Sometimes something crosses your field of view and you glance over and you look guilty. Personally, I've been given a hard time because sometimes my eyes will leave a girl's face and move downward. Automatically, people assume I'm checking out their chest and for me that's not the case. I don't know if your guy is checking them out or not. All you can do is tell him that it hurts you when he does it. If he has respect for you he will try to cut down on it. Wandering eyes don't signal a cheating heart.
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[16/f] I can’t seem to get any pleasure out of masturbating. I touch my clit in various ways but it doesn’t really feel like anything special. Is there something wrong with me? (link)
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There probably isn't anything wrong with you. There a lot of variables here that could be affecting things here. First, medications can affect how sensitive someone is. If there is some medication that you take regularly that could possibly be the root of this. You may want to just try something else. Without getting into any kind of details, I'd suggest taking a warm- hot bath prior to any stimulation. The warm water would allow more blood flow to the vital areas. That should help a bit with sensitivity. Plus while in there, you can use a showerhead (movable) to stimulate yourself. Many women do this, especially when younger. To be turned on the brain has to be involved as well. If you have a hard time of thinking up something sexy or appealing to you then consider reading some sexy scene from an erotic novel while in there. It should add to the experience. I'd also say to be patient and not rush things. If you go into it clenching your fists, stressed and expecting instant results, then you may just be putting too much pressure on yourself. This stuff is usually like a slow building fire. At first it doesn't seem like much and after some time it is something. If you are on medication, you may have to consult the doctor and see if there are alternatives to what you are taking. If by some chance you aren't on any medications, there are a number of sites specializing on masturbation techniques that are submitted by users. That may help you with the mechanics. But at the moment, there isn't anything to worry about. There isn't anything to panic about. It would be frustrating for anyone. But letting yorself be too stressed will make it a bit harder for you. Let yorself relax then when the time is right just go with the flow.
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Can practicing a sport for school 6 days a week cause stress? I feel like I want to cry all the time, I get really bad headaches, I'm always tired, I always feel sick, and my body's always sore, and I'm starting to think it's because I have lacrosse practice for my highschool six days a week. (link)
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I won't get into possible physical ailments from this. the previous poster made good comments on that part. usually exercise actually reduces stress. it sounds like the stress you may be having may be coming from the mental issues to a sport. sometimes, coaches can make you touchy. sometimes the worrying about playing time can do this or even the pressure from being an underclassmen and wanting to hold up your end can. when it comes to high school sports, most people aren't going to get a scholarship or go pro at their sport. at your level, it has to be more about making friends, pushing yourself to be your best and feeling that bond that sports make. none of this is really life or death or anything. at the time it is a huge deal and i can relate. you were born with only so much potential as we all are. your 2 responsiblities to yourself are to learn how to not make mistakes on the field and to have yoru body in the best shape you can. there will be faster and stronger players. that can't be changed. it's not wrong to accept that. with any sport, the mental part is where you actually find ways to win. if coaches are pushing too hard or just don't have the right personality type to coach, you can either try to harden yourself to the criticism or maybe learn to diffuse the situation. I've found that when you have a yelling coach that if you say something like "coach, i don't want to make that mistake again, show me what i did wrong and how to not have that happen again." usually if you actively try to fix the problem with them, they will go into teach mode. plus they will see that you care and are inexperienced instead of negligient. older players are sometimes bastards simply because they can be. you have your bullies on any team. the best way to handle them is not let them see it get you down and even better to out do them. let's say you play defense. if you actively keep mental notes of how often someone tries a forehand move compared to a backhand move, you may notice a tendency. then you just alter how you play to take away their move in the future. i sense you are a bit new to organized sports when you say you want to cry. it's fine to cry. don't ever feel bad about that. this stuff is mentally challenging. it gets easier as you put your time in. once you start having more success a lot of the stresses will go away. hang in there. you showed courage by simply going out. if you had the courage to do that then you have the courage to continue and have your career end up as you wish.
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I'm 17/f and I have a sister who's 14.
My parents were divorced about a year ago and my dad moved to Iraq for a year to get a job as a Desktop Analyst for a company where he makes about $10,000 a month. He's moving back after this summer and stuff but my mom and I do NOT get along. We live with her and her boyfriend but it's his house. She makes about $1920 a month with her job before taxes so after taxes, it'd be about $1700-1800. My dad, however, is LEGALLY supposed to be sending my mom ABOUT $2000 a month for child support but is only sending $900, because they had an agreement that as soon as I get a job, he'll buy me a car. However, when my dad comes back when the summer ends, due to all the drama with my mom's boyfriend not liking me, me and my sister are moving with my dad.
But my real question is:
Would it be illegal if until he comes back, if he put the child support in a savings account only for me and my sister to be able to get a hold of?
Because I don't know what my mom does with the money but I know not all of it goes towards us.
She pays for her car, which I very RARELY drive, with the child support and for other things that I don't know about. And when I try and ask her about it, she says it's none of my business. But I'm 17, responsible with money, and sick of being treated like shit and not being able to do anything about it. I would like to support myself rather than relying on my mom to "support" me, if you can even call it that.
If you would please answer this question honestly, I would appreciate it SO much.
Thank you. :D (link)
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I don't see the money going directly to you. One of the complaints fathers have is that they send a check for so much and the mother will not use it all for the child. This is very common. The courts assume that since your mother is an appropriate guardian that she knows best what to do with the money and will look out for you. Plus, you can't just look at it like $900 this month and she only spent 500 on me. You do use utilities, toothpaste, gas for trips to take you places and so on. Those hidden costs do cut into that monthly check. I would think that if your mom agreed to the car deal that she probably isn't just pocketing everything and being selfish. She could have just said no to that and gotten bigger checks. It does sound as if things will be better if you lived with dad. Stepdads often suck.
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i met this one guy on myspace a while back. he is now my boyfriend. whenever i hang out with him i have to lie to my parents about who he is.
we have hungout alot. but he doesnt drive. and i dont have my lisence yet and he lives about 30 minutes from me so his friend picks me up with him and drives us to his house and then drives me home.
i tell my mom im hanging out with some guys from a different school around here. and yesteday i told her that one of my friends is friends with a guy from about 30 minutes away (which is my boyfriend) and she told me next time i hangout with him she wants to meet him.
im getting my lisence soon and i have a car so i was thinking about going to pick him up and bring him back here.
but shes being lame and wont let me. so i threw a huge fit and i told her i guess she wont ever meet him.
anddd i told her what school he goes to. and according to my parents its a school for 'bad" kids. so that makes things ten times worse. but he doesnt seem bad to me at all. hes so sweeet. and the thing that mkaes it even worse is hes white. and ghetto. and my parents think that i shouldnt put myself down to that level and i can do so much better. but i look beyond those kinds of things. and it hurts me. becuase im happy and they suck at tthis hole thing. oh and they dont know hes my boyfriend. they think hes a friend.
i need advice on what i should do and stufff and how i should talk to my parents about letting me see him. and dont tell me i shouldnt meet anyone on myspace. i dont care what you think about that.
and sorrry if its confusing and long.
ps. i was thinking of seeing him thursday and friday cause i have no school. what should i tell them cause they wont let me drive down there (link)
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You have a few things to take into consideration here. I know parent's think differently and can't see someone as you see them. If this guy is in a school for bad kids, then either he is bad or has some sort of issues because of how he was brought up. Sometimes you have a kid maybe drinking or doing drugs because they can't handle stress at home. Maybe he is past that. Maybe he isn't. You do have to realize one thing, if he truly is a bad guy he is not going to tell you that. He may lie about why he goes to such a school. I think your family should definitely meet him. I don't see why your mom and you can't just go pick him up together. I would be a bit concerned about this guy. You said that he acts ghetto. Outside of seeming cool, what other positive traits does that usually include? how many negative? If he gets his personality from listening to hip hop then he probably has zero respect for women. Just go slow. Include your mom a bit with this. If you try to hide everything she'll never accept him. She'll be suspicious because you hide things. We all deserve to be treated well and I hope you get that no matter who you are with.
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Well, you see i was over-weight
i was 30 kilos over my healthy weight, i lost 20 and i'm about to loose the other 10 until summer but the problem is i have extra skin between my thighs, abit in my stomach and my hands.
What should i do to lose them?
Thanks (link)
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i happened to read an article about this a few months back by some fitness specialist. i can't verfiy this person's credentials or anything. but according to him, when a person starts getting loose skin like that it's from losing weight too quickly. what's needed is to gain back a portion. he had said about 15 to 20 pounds. but also said that they need to put on lean body weight. so weight lifting and toning is necessary. just stuff that will add a bit of bulk, then the person will be tighter. now the person can lose the weight slowly and won't have the loose skin. i had also heard from this one diet specialist a few years back that soy protein has a big effect on skin elasticity. she stressed having tofu in various ways. she'd do things like tofu shakes. actually didn't look bad. it was like tofu, yogurt and fruit.
xxxx
i'm adding this bit here. i was telling you about the tofu shakes and stuff. i found a link to the tv station that had her on and some of her recipes.
http://www.thepittsburghchannel.com/food/301761/detail.html
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hey alright. this may be a bit long. im so sorry if this is starting to bother you. but right now im actually really in a bad situation, worse than before. please help me
so pretty much he thinks that we are gonna have anal sex. im really not kidding. about two days ago he brought it up [he hadnt talked to me for a week cause my mom took my computer away so i was kinda happy he was talking to me] and i was so happy and didnt wanna lose him that i pretty much never said no about the sex. but theres no way in hell i am ever doing that with him. but he thinkss we are.
last night i was at my friends house in her kitchen while she was making dinner, i was on her laptop and then i get an IM from him so i start going along with what hes saying because for some reason i like it when he IMs me. but that was a bad idea.
ill show you the conversation but im changing the names
josh: send a pic you naked
me: i cant im at my friends house right noww sorryy.
josh: wow
oh my god were havin sex just send it
me: i cant though im at my friends house
josh: well you wouldnt send it even if you werent ugh your just like that, i want it damnit
me: why do you want me to send it so badly
josh: cause i wanna jerk off to it just send it
me: i dont know josh its kind of a bad idea
josh: fine then im fucking your vag
me: uh do i have to..?
josh: im gonna fuck your vag now
me: i dont know about thatt.
josh: idc im bringing condoms
jk i want to though
me: yeahh
josh: were gonna 69
me: i dont know about that eitherr
josh: um yeah
me: i gotta go people are here now byebyee
josh: bye suck my dick
can you believe he would say that. suck my dick. like what the fuck! who do you think you are? im older than you asshole. you dont talk like that to me. yeah so alright i was really really stupid and i went back on the computer later and IMed him and i told him id send him a picture tomorrow. im so stupid. and he was like alright i lost my phone but im getting a new one tomorrow so alll good and then alright listen to this. this is fucked up.
josh: we should have a threesome that night me you and jess
me: jess? josh were talking about jess here. your best friends sister who is also MY best friend. you really would wanna do that.
josh: yeah
me: she would never do that and she has a boyfriend.
josh: i kno i dont care, she has nice tits god there good
me: this is my best friend..haha
josh: what would you do if alex walked in on us?
me: uhm he wouldnt..
josh: yeah but if he did what would you do
me: id probobly scream and then cry and we would get in a lot of trouble
josh: yeah we would i would tell you to not say anythin and then he would come in and be fine with it
me: i dont want alex to watch us do things he would tell everyone and thats weird
josh: no he wouldnt haha but if he came in and said let me join or i tell everyone, what would you do?
me: he wouldnt do that! because hes nice and not like that
josh: would you have a threesome with him or not?
me: i dont know maybe but he isnt like that and that would be weird for me since me and him are kind of friends
josh: yeah but then i would steal you away from him
me: yeah haha
the rest is just him talking about sex positions that i dont wanna do. and i wont. im seriously kind of getting freaked out by him. hes getting more perverted and creepier. i told him id send him a picture later but hes making me do it of me in my underwear like touching myself and i dont want to. but he got really mad last night when i said i didnt want to and im kind of afraid if i dont do what he wants he will threaten me with telling people about this. im scared of him. sorry this was so long but i dont really know what to do..
and he was just getting really mad and it was scaring me.. (link)
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sorry i haven't been on. guys just pressure girls to do stuff. if you do things for him he's just going to make the next thing he wants bigger. you really should just walk away. there are guys that would desire you but also be fun about it and not such pricks about things. this isn't a guy being a bit silly or being a bit devilish. he doesn't have class or even think much of you. i hope you can see that.
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