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im depressed
I am always feeling down and blue but I'm always hyper and naturally funny. I neve stop talking. But inside I hate myself and wish I was either dead or someone else.
I cut myself on average twice a month when things get ontop of me
I feel like I have no identity but whenever I ask for help the people around me are so wrapped up in themselves and say stuff like "that's a shame" and my sis just says "yeah well get over it"
I am so stressed and noone cares life is all crap and I might as well just sleep forever
P.S I'm not gonna kill myself so persuasion is not needed
Any advice ?
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
you might need help hit me on my email
khalilhardy56@yahoo.com
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I used to cut for 5 years, so maybe I can help.
You need to see a therapist. If you cannot afford one, talk the counselor at your school. They are there to help with stuff like this, and they can refer you to places that could possibly help for free. That's what the counselor at my high school did for me (though I was stupid & never went).
Could you possibly talk to a parent? I know you probably think your parents don't care & they'll tell you it's not a big deal, but maybe your parents will listen. If you tell them, they can try to help you. You parents love you & want you happy. They'll do what they can to make sure that you are.
If you want to talk with me, you can e-mail me. My e-mail address is on my column. I check it daily, so you can always ask & I am free to help you whether it be here, through e-mail or even through MySpace. :)
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Speaking from experinces, and i also hide my emotions from people and say I'm fine when i'm not.
Here are a few things I do when i'm like this.
1. Meditate (I haven't done it for the past few years, but i only just started picking it up, it helps the negative thoughts go away, and it relaxs you)
2. Go for a 20-30 min walk
3. I listen to songs that you can dance to (DO NOT listen to depressed music just some thing you can dance to around the house)
4 As for the cutting thing, I'm not sure i'm trying my best not to cut. So i can't help you with that part.
5. Meet people that can relate to your situtation (that way they can help you out or whatever)
I hope I helped some. Think good thoughts always.
BrokenAngel
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I have two answers for this--one is from my own experience, and the second one is honestly how I feel after I have read your question. (The second answer might offend you.)
I lead a very different life style from you, but I think I experiencing similar amount of stress, too.
Different because I use optimism to cover my worries, stress, and tiredness. I smile a lot and I keep my emotion at total control with a calm attitude. I hate to show others my weaknesses, and I certainly don't want anyone to know that I am under stress or too tired.
Similar amount of stress? Perhaps. Because I don't often express my true emotion, the tension and stress do build up overtime. But I found ways to deal with them so I am fine, and I think they may work for you, too.
Here're the ways:
1. Do not feel down. If you do not feel happy, then at the very least, get the negative thoughts out of your mind. Start by getting a good night of sleep and one hour of morning exercise (and by morning, I mean EARLY MORNING, like at 4 AM or 5 AM; for me, usually I begin at 4:30 AM).
2. Instead of cutting yourself, put together a thick stack of paper (again, a thick stack of paper) and tape it onto a brick wall or a tree. Punch it! Punch it until your knuckles hurts, bleed, or maybe until you simply feel bored of it.
3. Instead of asking people for help, write diary. Note: WRITE is different from TYPE. Keeping a diary gives you a chance to go over what had happened in the day so that you could reflect on your own action. Not only does it help relief your stress, it helps you realize how minor a problem is.
4. Instead of sleep forever, how about sit forever? Sit down, close your eyes, and stay still, absolutely still, for as long as you can. You won't last any longer than 3 minutes, don't worry =), unless you are really pushing yourself. (I never got any longer than around 20 minutes). This helps provide you a sudden burst of energy. And believe it or not, if you sit absolutely still, not moving a single muscle for around 10 minutes, when you start to walking again, you'll feel like you have too much excess energy and you will feel the urge to go hyper.
What's the whole point? Body training. These are the ways that I use to physically release my mental and emotion stress (and anger, too). Just like what you did, these ways exert your strength and hurt (maybe, depends on how clumsy you are) your body, too. But at the same time, it benefits you by making your body more sturdy and clearing your mind.
****Warning, the next answer, as cautioned at the beginning, might offend you****
Lack of self-confident seems to be the root of your depression. You feel like you have no identity because you have no talent--you do not excel in sport nor have excellent grades. You feel like you need attention, but having a difficult time to admit it, though you vaguely sense it. You are feeling sorry for your very own self.
Best solution is to talk with someone who will just simply talk to you about it instead of tell you what to do about it, someone that is NOT your relative or your friend, preferably a person who is above thirty years old and have an interest in philosophy.
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You're better off coming on here for help than with a lot of friends. People are too worried about their own problems usually. I can understand being frustrated and depressed. I'm going to guess you are in high school. You may not think you have an identity or maybe it just isn't wrapped up in some typical package. but that doesn't mean you don't have one. we all do. It sounds as if you partly mean by your identity dilemma that you aren't noticed as much as you'd like. That's the way i take it anyhow. forgive me if i'm wrong. Sometimes it's hard to have something that gets people's attention or be noticed. Let's say you are a world class chef. Nobody is going to know. It's not like you could bring a kitchen to school. All i mean is some things that make a person stand out just aren't as flamboyant. Also, some people are very good at lots but just aren't standouts at one thing. You may have someone that's way too tall for their own good but they are an outstanding basketball player. They may have nothing else to offer but everyone knows they can do that. There is nothing wrong with being well rounded. It makes a person interesting once you know them. I'm going to go out on a limb here. You're naturally funny. You have lots of energy. You already have become good at faking emotions. Why don't you try your luck with stuff like theater? If you are funny then you probably have comedic timing. You may have a natural gift with it. Plus, if you do it well, you'll instantly hear the laughter from the crowd to know you are good. If you are that hyper that could come in handy with any sort of dance or performance. Heck, if you could just try your luck at comedy, or even just do things like make funny videos for youtube. I just think that if someone said "you know, you really made me laugh there". Maybe it would do you some good. We all have worth. We all have talents. But for a moment, let's say i've misunderstood and you really meant that you don't know what group you should hang with. Yes it is nice to be in one of the cliques. It makes life easier. At the same time there are a good number of people that can mix with any group. They are the ones that head out ahead of the game. Not everyone can do that. It's possible that you may be if you are unsure of your identity. I hope i was some help. If not, i'd love another crack and maybe help you.
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