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16 year old depresssed...how can i stop being depressed
how can i stop being depressed.
All i want to do is sit home
and listen to music..and imagine if i was thinner and prettier..
i havent had a boyfriend in 3 years and my mom told me today that she thinks im wasting away the best years of my life
i dont want to do anything..i think my weight is holding me back im 5'3 and i weight 176 pounds..
i have been gaining weight left and right because i dont want to do anything..yeah sometime i go out with friends and with my family..but right now they went to see the miley cyrus movie..and i didnt want to go..my mom said that i need help and i need to snap out of it..but i dont know what to do..HELP what can i do..i dont think i can afford mental help..!
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
dont compare your self to others be your self be cofedent that the main key go for a walk go to the gym with your mom get a hobbie do somthing this help get a bost in your life eat heathy make some goals hope this helps
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It seems pretty obvious that your weight and your depression goes hand in hand. First off, some foods that we eat are to cope with depresion. Things like chocolate, or bread or many foods that are higher in fat will have things in them to be an emotional band aid. If weight gain depresses you than you can just end up spiraling. It's not like you're damaged. You can change this. you're young. That hardest step towards changing is that first one. Yes, the other people are right where you should like yourself no matter what. But not all of us are strong enough to have that much confidence at rougher times. You're not that far off from a healthy weight. My best friend had used Nutrisystem and had great results. Also, you seem to not want to go outside. It sounds like you almost want to hide from others because of your weight. It isn't easy. But this can be overcome. Make a little plan. Nothing big. Basically say something like "on such and such date I start" this will give you time to enjoy things you like. then on that day just have stuf mapped a tad bit. just like having your food intake sorta set up and some sort of activity to help burn a few extra calories. The thing is, once you start and start noticing changes it will movitivate you. Your mood will get better. Don't be scared. You can have the life you want. You really can.
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I feel for you, really. I am kind of chubby and short myself, shorter and chubbier than you. Looks aren't everything. If they were then there would be no fat people in this country. You say that you haven't had a boyfriend in three years? Well, who needs one? You are only sixteen. You have your entire life ahead of you. Is having a boyfriend really what you want? Or is that just something missing in your life to complain about.
Sometimes life throws you curveballs. I'm not good at baseball so I never hit the ball. Yeah, things can mess up and make us sad. I have been going through a tough time myself lately and for the past year have been feeling depressed. But I found happiness in hanging out with friends and talking to Jesus. There is no problem too great for God.
I don't mean to lag on but it is important for you to understand that being pretty or skinny or having a boyfriend doesn't make you perfect. When I was sixteen I was taken advantage of. I now wish that I would have waited to date. You are living your own life. My answer to your question is through prayer and friendship.
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To be honest, the mental health system really is not the only way to help yourself through down periods or depressions (though it likes to think it is). I am not advocating "snapping out of it", but trying out lifestyle/ thought changes that may help. A lot of depression is caused by stuff you do in your own life that makes you feel worse, and a lot of what the "cure" is is figuring out the things you do that hold you back, and slowly, painstakingly reverse these habits.
For example, in your comment you seem to be judging yourself pretty harshly for not having had a boyfriend. A good way to deal with this would be to accept the thought (ie, yeah, it does suck), but to not judge yourself about it (ie, most people don't have boyfriend's their whole life, It's not like I need a bf to be an awesome person, ect).
As another example: your mom tells you you are wasting the best years of your life. This sounds like something you should probably not internalize as all it does it make you feel bad about feeling bad, which really is not helping anyone. (Besides, there is a body of thought larger than your mom that maintains being a teenager usually kindof sucks).
In my personal struggles with depression, I have found that I tend to place unfair expectations on myself and think thoughts that really don't help (ie I'm sad... omigod I'm sad... omigod I have depression again this is so horrible I am never going to get out of this this I will be an eighty year old woman with depression!, ect), and question the validity of my thoughts. I have found that the best way to get "better" so to speak is to talk back to myself (in my head) when I have a thought that is not helping anything at all, and try to be more accepting of my own feelings. I have been through years of therapy, and these have been the few things that help. Also, the book "Mind Over Mood" is a little awkwardly written, but the concepts I found really helpful, if you want to check it out.
As for the weight: have you tried some kind of gradual exercise regimen? Like joining a sports club at school or something? Exercise creates endorphins, which make you happy.
Remember, though - losing weight will not make everything better, and having a boyfriend is nice but won't make your mood suddenly okay. But self love will, along with some hard work and care. I wish you luck.
[In terms of affording mental health - therapists are sometimes covered by a plan that your parents may have and psychiatrists are usually covered by health insurance. If all else fails there are ways to get that traditional "depression" help from other means - pastors, family doctors, guidance councilors, social workers and the like all have the ability to perform therapy services... there are also some online options, if you look for them.]
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Well first of all, you have to stop wishing that you were thinner and prettier!!
It's not the weight that's holding you back...it's the low self-esteem.
If your weight is bothering you that much, then you can start dieting by eating healthy and exercising. But if you just sit around the house all day, you can be 100% sure that you're gonna gain weight because you're not being active.
Second of all, as for the whole boyfriend thing, my advice to you is to just go out with a group of friends and have a good time. Go places! Meet new people! And you know what guys love more than anything?...confidence!! So when they see you enjoying yourself and having great confidence, they'll be all over you!
You have to force yourself to get out there and have fun! That's how you beat depression...by forcing yourself!
Hope this helps! And good luck! :) <3
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Thats so normal. And 170 pounds really isnt "Fat" Im 270ish and im always happy. Do you know what you need to do?!?!!! you need to go have fun. You wouldnt be depressed if you were having fun. If you want to not be "depressed" then you have to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Go have fun. go out with friends. These are the best years of your life and they wont come back. You cant really "stop" being depressed. you have to do something. You should go hang out with friends. Or take up a new hobby. Im so good at this subject of advice. So if you really need help then email me chicka376@aol.com im pretty much so happy because.. i dont take crap from anyone. i live to have fun. im only 14 and i figured out life already... most ppl dnt figure that out until there 40 and then they see "woh" whered my life go? ha.. im a talker.. email me whenever :)
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