Gender: Female
Location: Florida
Occupation: Student
Age: 19
Member Since: September 18, 2004
Answers: 66
Last Update: July 22, 2010
Visitors: 3233
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Over the past six years or so, I've lived as a recluse. I have virtually no human contact other than what is required. In an average day, I probably say about 100 words aloud. I had a small group of 3-6 "friends" in elementary school, but I very rarely did anything outside of school with them.
Unlike most people with this problem, mine is entirely self-inflicted. I was never bullied, and I've had no "bad relationships" of any kind. I simply do not enjoy multi-person activities (including conversation). Since I viewed friendship as useless in the past, I didn't pursue it, and I am now completely incapable of participating in any kind of social interaction due to lack of experience.
Recently, over the past 2-3 years, this state has increasingly been bothering me for the following reasons:
* Having no social network of any kind puts me at an enormous disadvantage in gathering and spreading information.
* I have not a single person I can really trust with anything.
* Not having any human contact makes me depressed/lonely from time to time. Even though I don't consciously *want* human contact, I clearly need it in order to fix this.
So I eventually want to have like five friends (preferably online) who I can trust. It's no good just to have five contacts sitting in my instant messaging program; I need actual friends with whom I have real understanding.
How do I do this? Keep in mind that I have less social understanding than the average 3-year-old, and I am completely useless in a conversation. I also don't particularly enjoy conversation.
Don't tell me to "go out and talk to people". That's what all the websites say, and it does me exactly no good because I don't know the first thing about having a conversation. In all cases that I've tried to randomly participate in a conversation (_many_ times, online and off), I say virtually nothing because everything moves too fast for me and I can't think of anything to say.
I've posted this stuff to one other site, and despite talking to several of the people there, nothing good came of it. I will therefore be reluctant to contact anyone offering to "be my friend" in their response.
(18/m) (link)
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I am similar to you. I lived in Ohio most of my life and I only had a few friends throughout, most of them were kind of one at a time. I met them all through my love of horses so we had something huge in common. Now I live in Florida and honestly I dont really have any friends besides my boyfriend who I met online and I've lived here for 2 years. My boyfriend is extremely outgoing and talks to a lot of people so I get my social interaction with him and his friends who are slowly becoming my friends too. I also just got a job which seems to be pretty slow, business wise, so I've been talking to some of those people.
Basically you just have to put yourself out there. All of my friends are incredibly outgoing and will talk to anyone, including me. lol. It's hard to find those people but they are out there.
Find a hobby, get a job, create a study group for school, try an online dating site - all good ideas to "get out there". The best thing you can do is be brutally honest with people too. Just tell them you're really shy and are desperately trying to break it. People are a lot more understanding than you think. (especially once you're out of high school)
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Ok so me and my boyfriend have been together 8months and im seriously starting to think im disfunctional or something. Lol let me explain.
Okay basicly everytime we fool around I feel nothing. :|
The first few times he fingered me it really hurt (he popped my cherry that way) then after that it didnt really feel like anything.
He obviously sensed that so we talked and I said I prefer being just like rubbed.
A few months ago we decided we were ready to have sex but it just didnt go to plan.
It was awkward on both parts just wasnt the right time.
The second time when it felt better we said wed try again it went in and all but the condom wouldn't stay on properly it kept like coming off? anyway obviously we stopped since that was a problem. But it was just really frustrating we havn't tried since.
He seems to be obsessed with making me cum yet it never happend. I never even seem to cum when im doing it myself I just get this like intense build up and then sensation for a few seconds its really good but i wanna be able to cum?!
Im really worried now that theres definately something wrong with me and that when we go to have sex properly it just won't feel like anything either.
are we just doing thigs wrong?has any girl had any similar expieriences and know what I mean.
Sometimes I just get dry and itchy instead of wet too..
Ugh I don't know this is incrediabely frustrating and embarassing. someone please help :( I was talking to my sister and she was saying perhaps its cos im thinking about it too much and im not totally relaxed enough?
I find it hard opening up to people aswell and my bf knows that so talking about these type of situations is hard for me you know telling him what to do and that I know I have to but if anyone has any ideas on how I go about that (I know I must sound incrediabely dumb!)
any advice at all would help! (oh and about the condom too..why wouldnt it stay on..is it him?or is it the way we are putting it on?) I really feel im ready for this I love my boyfriend and hes the first person ive gone this far with so I want it to be special and good for both of us :(
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19/f
I am assuming when you say you prefer being "rubbed" you mean having him rub your clitoris. Most women can not have an orgasm without clitoral stimulation. So you are totally normal.
Also some women just dont get that wet. I am also one of those people, but dont worry, lube is there for a reason! It's nothing to be embarrassed about. Honestly sex or fingering is way better for me with lube and way easier for him because he can just slide around. lol
The condom could be coming off because he's not hard enough or losing his erection or it is just too big. And that has nothing to do with him not finding you attractive or anything like that dont worry. He's probably incredibly nervous, even more so than what he shows. It happened with my boyfriend the first time. Just don't get upset, be understanding and keep at it!
I also did not have a lot of feeling inside until a few times of having sex later when I was less nervous and could think more about the pleasure than making sure everything is in place, where it needs to be and keeping it that way :P.
As far as you cumming you will have clarify what you mean. Do you mean having an orgasm or do you mean actually having something squirt out of you?
Don't worry, sex is just something that you have to explore together to figure it out. Don't forget it's not a race, there is no rush so take your time and you'll get there.
I hope I answered all of your questions. If you have anymore feel free to ask!
ADD: Yes, very very few women can "squirt", I mean like next to none. You might be able to practice, but I have no idea if it will make you be able to do it. I am pretty sure it is just something natural that a very small amount of women can do.
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Hi i recently shaved my vagina because i saw brown spots on it but then once it was shaved and i started scratching at the brown spots they peeled off i'm wondering if maybe they were just dead skin? or something? and now my vagina is itchy as hell is that normal? and it's all stubbly cause i missed some spots... :( PLEASE HELP i am 13 (link)
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19/f Thats one reason I don't shave mine. It will itch for a few days maybe even a little over a week until it grows out a little. You dont need to shave down there if you dont want to, but some people feel they need to. I just shave the bikini line.
The brown spots probably were just skin and dirt. If you had a lot of hair down there it would be easy for that to build up but if you keep the hairs short either with scissors or just lightly running your razor over the hair in the same direction it grows (not against it) to thin it out it will be easier to keep that from happening.
Just keep an eye on it but you should be fine :)
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Hey. So I'm an 18 year old girl and I have never been in a relationship before. I really don't give care about that, It will happen when it wants to. But I'm worried about what may happen when I do finally get a boyfriend. I hate having people touch me. I can't wait for hugs to be over most of the time and I enjoy my personal space. Im not a bitch if your wondering, Im actually nice and friendly in a very shy way, it's just the space thing. What I'm wondering is, do you think that I will still be like that if I'm with a guy I really like? or do you think my space issues mixed with my horrible shyness can/will effect my relationships? I'm leaning towards I won't give a shit anymore... but still I tend to notice when people sit too close to me or I freak mentally when hugs last way too long. Ughhh :/ Help? (link)
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I am also like that, I love my personal space! I also love when my boyfriend touches me, hugs me, etc. It is totally different with him than it is with anyone else. I still am not a hug person and I can't stand if someone is sitting or standing too close to me, but with him I dont ever think he's standing too close. I dont even think about it.
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Hello Everyone
Basically whenever me and boyfriend tried to have sex, he couldn't get it in. I am a virgin so obviously i'm tight. He was really big and got it in eventually but it hurt too much so we didn't have sex. He fingered me for a while before but it took a while to get it in.
Is there anything I can do to make it "less tight"?
(link)
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This may be TMI but I would also say try a different position. I lost my virginity doggy style because I was so tight he couldn't get it in there missionary. For me it also hurt for the first few times we had sex. I also bled the first 4-5 times. It sounds weird but in a way the pain almost made it more romantic because since he was being so gentle I felt like he was taking care of me. It was also something I really really wanted to do with him. Could it be possible you are not quite ready for a sexual relationship?
The only way to make yourself less tight is to either have sex or use a dildo so it stretches it.
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18f.
i met this new guy, i thought he was amazingly different then any other guy i've ever liked because he has treated me so different. we're not dating yet, but he treats me like a princess everytime we're together. he knows i have a trust problem, especially with guys, and he knows i've been hurt and afraid to fall again and he's promised he would never hurt me or give me a reason to never trust him.
everything was fine, until tonight. i texted him about something, and then he asked what i was doing tonight and i said i was somewhere an hr and a half away and then i didn't know, and he said we should hang out tonight and i said yeah we should :) and he was like ok, text me when you get home. so i text him when i get home, about an hr and a half later, and i say ok i'm home ..and he never texted back..
i'm so confused, i know it sent to him. i don't know if he didn't want to see me (even though he asked ME to hang out first) or what's going on .. i'm just really hurt ..because i never thought this would happen with him.
i'm frustrated, sad, confused all at the same time. if he texts me tomorrow saying something, do i say something about him not texting back? what if he acts like nothing happened? i don't know what to say, if i should say anything at all.. (link)
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I would take a breather, Girls, including me (19/f) freak out too easily about stuff. Sometimes phones services dont work right or maybe he fell asleep, or his phone died, or a million other possibilities.
Just wait to see, talk to him and say that you texted him. He may be like "really? I never got it" it's happened to me and its happened to my boyfriend a bunch of times.
There's a million reasons he could have not texted you back. I wouldn't let such a small thing ruin a possible relationship.
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Isnt Jesus technically a zombie since he rose from the dead???? (link)
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HAHA that is the best most awesome question ever!
I guess yeah, he would be like a zombie. Being dead and coming back alive makes you a zombie I think.
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Hi, I have a lot of trouble with basic algebra, so I'm trying to start from the beginning and try to reteach myself some of the basic concepts.
I have an example problem, and then a question that follows...if someone could please help me out, it'd be greatly appreciated.
I'm supposed to simplify:
3x+2y - 5x+8y
I understand that I have to group the like-terms together, therefore it becomes:
(3x-5x)+(2y+8y)
It's pretty pathetic to say this, but this is where I get stuck... I know how to group the like-terms... but what confuses me is which signs to use at which time. For instance, Why does the positive sign change to a negative sign,meanwhile the sign between the two sets of parentheses changes to a plus sign? How do I know when I'm supposed to change a sign and when I'm supposed to keep one the same?
I understand that the solution comes to
-2x+10y
though the middle part... regrouping all the numbers together because of the sign changes, that part confuses me. Are there any easy tips or me to remember which sign is supposed to come next? (link)
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You actually don't need to group them in parentheses.
So the problem is:
3x+2y-5x+8y
Keep the sign before each number with that number.
So you have a +3x and a -5x what happens when you add those together? -2x (the first part of your answer)
Then the Y's. There is a +2y and an +8y when you add those you get your answer, +10y.
So answer is -2x+10y
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So im 17 and the guy i like is 21. In elementary school my big brother and him were best friends and we hung out all the time, but we never really talked ya know! In middle school and high school they drifted apart. Theyre finally graduated now(of course) and he is still my NEIGHBOR!!! We just recently started talking, and hanging out a few times. I never stop smiling when were together, and he kissed me for the first time the other day. =) My parents know that i like him. They have never seen me so happy with anyone like i am with him. All of the sudden, they told me i couldnt go anywhere with him. I love it that my parents are looking out for me. but they know him, and they tell me all the time that they know he is a good guy. and sexual wise, we are both virgins, and sex is not what we want. i made that clear to mom to. its more dad freaking out then mom. Just because of age. To me age is just a number. and i think that if my parents actually talked to him and let him prove himself that he wants to be there for me, there should not be a problem. What do i need to tell them to make them realize that he wants me for who i am, and that his age shouldnt be a factor in the relationship if they like him? (link)
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I'm 19 my boyfriend is 23. We're great together. My parents were never really weird about our age difference but I always thought that if they did say anything I would bring up the fact that my mom is 5 years younger than my dad. I also agree with the other post, just sit them down and say, "Hey, I feel responsible, it's my life and I need to make my own choices."
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I play volleyball at a small college and we have preseason at the begining of august. this year before the start of practice we have a timed 2 mile run. now i consider my self in pretty good shape but i really just hate running so much. its always been used in sports as a punishment and i just can not run long distances. it hurts my knees and so i have never been able or really tried that hard to be able to run 2 miles. can some one please give me suggestions on where to start so i can run the timed 2 mile before my pre season? I am a member at a small gym also if that helps
thankss! (link)
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I would start by running 1/2 mile and slowly build up from there. When I started running my knees and ankles would hurt and I also thought I was in good shape. After I started running a little bit and got more fit specifically for running they stopped hurting and now they dont hurt at all. I think the key for you would be to start running now because the test is going to creep up on you fast.
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So, I have a friend who has been away in Afghanistan for a few months now, and he recently came home on leave. I've known for a while that he's had a thing for me, but I've made it clear that I don't feel that way about him. He's leaving again in a few days and I probably won't see him again for another six months.
We hung out today and had dinner at my place, catching up and watching a movie. When we were saying goodbye, I thought he was moving in for a simple hug, but instead, without permission or warning, he dipped his head down and motorboated me (see definition below, if you don't know what that means). I shoved his head away, saying "Hey!" loudly, but I wasn't really sure how to react. I told him he shouldn't do that while I'm in a relationship, even though I know he shouldn't have done it either way. I was, and am, very uneasy about the whole thing. He said I could slap him, so I did, but the whole thing just felt so awkward and now I have really mixed feelings about him.
I'm confused and uncomfortable. I know I should tell my boyfriend, but I'm embarrassed. Should I have been firmer? Should I have screamed at him? I like him, and we have a lot of fun together, but I've always gotten the impression that he doesn't respect my relationship, and this proves it, since he would never do something like this to one of his friend's girlfriends.
So... yeah. I'm not really sure what or if I should do anything.
Motorboat:
The act of pushing one's face in between two ample breasts, and rocking one's head side to side very rapidly while making a vigorous, lip-vibrating "brrr" sound. (urbandictionary.com) (link)
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"I like him, and we have a lot of fun together, but I've always gotten the impression that he doesn't respect my relationship, and this proves it, since he would never do something like this to one of his friend's girlfriends."
That is exactly what you should tell him. I would also tell him that your friendship is on the line here and ask him what his deal is. He'll either come out and tell you he likes you as more than a friend or just that he's that comfortable with you. Which if he really is THAT comfortable with you, you just have to come up with boundaries and be firm about them. Like "friends hug, you should never touch my boobs, etc." lol
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A few months ago, I decided to drop a friend of mine who I considered manipulative, condescending, and who plainly didn't deserve the title "friend". I didn't do anything mean or cowardly, I just stopped talking to her, to avoid conflict. Turns out, that's exactly what I caused. While I wasn't home and she'd come to visit my mother, she would sneak through my room to catch something to get me into trouble, or steal my things and hide them from me. Eventually, both my younger and older sister turned against me with her, and I couldn't do anything.
Still, I kept my mouth shut, wouldn't talk unless I had too, but things just became too much. I requested to my mother that she not b allowed over. She ignored me.
A short while later, the former friend, my older sister and I all got into this screaming match. Long story short, I kicked a door, this girl was behind, she threatened to call the cops on me.
Now, my mother knows of all of this, and ended up kicking me out. We have yet to talk about the situation, and the more I hear that this girl STILL comes over, the more I hurt.
I don't know how to get my mom to fully understand why I believe she did the wrong things and why she should ban this girl from her life.
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Have you tried telling her exactly what you just told us?
Tell her that it has been going on for a long time and that you hoped and figured it would kind of go away on it's own. Then tell her the whole story. You could even start by saying calmly and nicely "Mom, I really want to talk to you about "name". Can you please listen to my entire side of the story and then can we talk about it?"
Then if she starts to talk while you are explaining yourself you can Nicely say "Let me finish my story please"
I'd try that and see how it goes! Let me know.
Just remember to stay calm even if she starts yelling because once you raise your voice too it will just spiral out of control. If you keep yourself calm and composed she wont be able to get too excited because she wont have anything to work off of.
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F/17
For years I've been shaving down there, and basically I need a way to stop getting red bumps and cuts.
I use a new razor almost everytime, and I use anti-bump gels. I can't figure out the best way, I think my skin is just too sensitive. Is it better to wax? And what strips are recommended?
Any ideas?
Thanks :) (link)
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I don't shave completely down there because I get bumps. I shave the bikini line by shaving with the hair or perpendicular to the hair. Maybe one of these techniques would work for you?
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ok..... welll i read your column of how to tell my mom i had my period but the problem is that she overreacts
once i waited only 2 days to tell my mom i needed a bra and she flipped out its been about six months now from my first period and i have no clue how to tell her with out being grounded or killed or kicked out she over reachs to everything
-anonomous (link)
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Periods are natural so she shouldn't freak out because it's nothing you can help. Unless you mean she will freak out because you didn't tell her. If you think she'll honestly freak because you didn't tell her, wait until you're on your next period and pretend it's your first. lol
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What does it taste like? salty or sweettt? (link)
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Salty
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i have a question when we do sex does it bleed for women. (link)
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Everyone is different, I bled a lot for the first 4-5 times I had sex but I have heard of a lot of people who never do. It depends on how you and the guy are built.
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my question is if im not already on the pill will it work to stop my period for the night ? Im on my second day of my menstrual cycle... (link)
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No, sorry that wont work. I wish there was a magic pill to do that though...
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i have ben with my boyfriend for nearly three months and i really feel like we need to breakup but i cant bring myself to it. for the past month i have thought we needed to, iv even tried to piss him off and iv brought it up to him but covered it up because he is head over heels in love with me. i feel horrible about it but i cant bring myself to do it at all, how do i go about doing this without hurting him too badly? and dont say just do it. any tips, tricks? 16/f (link)
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There is no way to let someone down easy. Whatever your "reason" you are still telling him that you don't want to be with him so it doesn't matter what you say. I would do it as soon as possible, the longer you wait the harder it will be for both of you.
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20/f, dating a 20/m.
My bf and I have been together for almost three months, and we're getting ready to start having intercourse. Niether of us are virgins, and we've done basically everything else with each other except have sex. In the past month I've begun birth control and he and I have both gotten tested for STDs, and we're planning on using condoms. So safe sex is a sure thing.
But I also believe that having a dialogue about sex before starting it is crucial, involving discussing our sexual history. I've told him about my sexual past, including funny embarassing stories and things that I do and don't like in bed. He didn't seem at all uncomfortable with hearing it and it really got us to a new level of trust. I invited him to share his experiences with me, but all he said he didn't like talking about it.
I'm really curious about his past, but I don't want to pressure him into telling me about anything that makes him uncomfortable. All I know is that he's had "Maybe just the one" previous partner, but I don't know anything else. Should I just get used to not knowing? I really don't want to pry, but if I'm going to be sleeping with him, does that make it at least a little of my business? Or no? I'm confused and I just want to know if I should drop the whole subject, and get used to being curious.
Thanks in advance! (link)
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Before my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time I knew he had had sex once with some girl WITH protection. That was all I knew before we had sex. Mostly I just wanted to make sure he had protection so he didn't have any STD's or such to share. I didn't find out the whole story until recently and we've been together for 1 year 3 months and have been having sex for 1 year 1 month. It was a really embarrassing story and I can totally understand why he didn't want to tell me. Past is the past, all you need to do is protect youself (from STD's) and the story will eventually make it's way out when he's ready. If you pressure him into making him spill it, it could hurt your trust instead of help it.
To sum it up, just find out how many people he's done what with. It doesn't matter who or under what circumstance these acts happened. Now if he wont share this basic information then he's either hiding something or trying to make you think he's had more experience than he really does.
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16 and 17 year old girls, what are your opinions on and experiences of sex?
Being a 16 year old girl turning 17 in two months, and still a virgin, and also the kind of girl people assume have had sex, I'm definitely not comfortable with my lack of experience, and can't come up with any reasons why I havn't had sex except for, well, it just hasn't HAPPENED.
So I'm interested to know what other girls my age think. Have you had sex or are you a virgin? If you're a virgin, what are your reasons and how do you feel about it? If you've had sex, how did you lose your virginity, what is your sex life like now and how do you feel about it?
A lot of detail (though obviously I'm not asking for anything too personal or graphic, just your thoughts on the subject) because I really hate being a virgin at my age, and would like to know what your views are.
I'd really appreciate answers, thankyou! (link)
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I'm 19 and not a virgin. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend at 18. I am so glad I waited for him and didn't just have sex with anyone who so happened to want to have sex with me.
We waited 2 months before we did it. I knew he was special and I trusted him completely. I'm especially glad I waited for someone special because I bled a lot and it hurt somewhat so I was a little freaked out but he was great and supportive and cared about me. It actually turned out to be an amazing experience because we learned so much about each other and it truly brought us much closer together.
We've been together now for 1 year 3 months and we are planning on getting engaged when he gets back from his deployment. (he's in the military)
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