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No friends
Over the past six years or so, I've lived as a recluse. I have virtually no human contact other than what is required. In an average day, I probably say about 100 words aloud. I had a small group of 3-6 "friends" in elementary school, but I very rarely did anything outside of school with them.
Unlike most people with this problem, mine is entirely self-inflicted. I was never bullied, and I've had no "bad relationships" of any kind. I simply do not enjoy multi-person activities (including conversation). Since I viewed friendship as useless in the past, I didn't pursue it, and I am now completely incapable of participating in any kind of social interaction due to lack of experience.
Recently, over the past 2-3 years, this state has increasingly been bothering me for the following reasons:
* Having no social network of any kind puts me at an enormous disadvantage in gathering and spreading information.
* I have not a single person I can really trust with anything.
* Not having any human contact makes me depressed/lonely from time to time. Even though I don't consciously *want* human contact, I clearly need it in order to fix this.
So I eventually want to have like five friends (preferably online) who I can trust. It's no good just to have five contacts sitting in my instant messaging program; I need actual friends with whom I have real understanding.
How do I do this? Keep in mind that I have less social understanding than the average 3-year-old, and I am completely useless in a conversation. I also don't particularly enjoy conversation.
Don't tell me to "go out and talk to people". That's what all the websites say, and it does me exactly no good because I don't know the first thing about having a conversation. In all cases that I've tried to randomly participate in a conversation (_many_ times, online and off), I say virtually nothing because everything moves too fast for me and I can't think of anything to say.
I've posted this stuff to one other site, and despite talking to several of the people there, nothing good came of it. I will therefore be reluctant to contact anyone offering to "be my friend" in their response.
(18/m)
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I was EXACTLY like you about six months ago, right down to the near 100 words a day. Back in December, I joined YouTube and started writing fanfiction stories with Disney centered storylines, and putting them into videos for comments. I soon met my best friends through that website, and joined Twitter where I met even more people. I am not necessarily suggesting that you join YouTube and Twitter, that was an example. But, find an online community that interests you, such as a Scrabble or music community, and see if someone else will spark a conversation. Most people would tell you online life is unhealthy, but I am quite content with my online friends, who have helped me through everything in my life.
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Sounds to me that you are just an introvert. It doesnt sound like you have any social anxiety or anything like that it just sounds like you just like to keep to yourself and there is nothing wrong with that but if you are finding yourself getting lonesome than you should try online chat rooms theres no reason to be scared or shy just think of it as these people have no idea who I am you do not have to ever see them or talk to them again so no big deal...if you are really that shy then maybe just think of things to say about your hobbies and what not when in doubt ask questions because asking questions is a good way at allowing the other person to talk while you can think up some more conversation...just my opinion but from reading your post you dont sound dull at all you just need to break out of your shell ...just remember that people are just people who cares what they think believe in yourself...good luck !
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www.conqueronline.com This is a website for an internet game i Play. Its an online RPG and its alot of fun! The style is kind of old school, but you dont talk verbally to anyone. Its all about leveling up, and killing each other (haha). Ive been playing for about...Id say 8 years now, and i've made alot of friends on it. Not to mention that it definitely brought me out of my shell as a shy and quiet person. Though I wasnt to the point you are obviously.
Im not saying you have to play THAT game, but any internet game will do the same thing. Its something that is a common ground that you can relate easily to other people about, and talk about.
Its a bit hard to begin with to make friends, because most people are very strong all ready, but if you work hard you should have friends in no time.
I also play perfect world international. And if your willing to spend the money WoW is always a good choice.
But the first two games i mentioned are free so that's why I play them.
Good luck!!! Hope to see you on the game. If you feel like talking im on the server Celebrities, then Hebby, and my characters name is Lillum.
GOOD LUCK :D
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Hey, I can just imagine what you are going through right now. To be completely honest, I understand your confusion and maybe frustration that you might be feeling due to my personal experience.
Something must have happened to you that made you think of friendship as useless. It is ok if you did not want to pursue any social interactions with people due to your lack of trust in others but as you now are beginning to realize, this has effected you in a negative way.
What I advice you to do is to keep strong, you might be lacking social skills but I know you have the WANT to try and make things better. I know you have the power, the will and the courage to say enough is enough! I want to make things better and I will do whatever it takes to be more sociable with others around me.
Listen, I know it is EXTREMELY hard for you I know this very well, but I believe in you and I know you have the will to want to ease your life *(you have proved this by posting your issue on here I think this is an amazing step and shows you have great courage and have the want to make things better) and balance out your life in a positive way.
- Life has difficult obstacles and it is up to us to get rid of them in order to be happy. Sometimes we are the cause of our greatest griefs and that is totally fine! but sometimes well mostly all of the time, it is in our hands to change things for the positive.
-Life can also bring people in to help you through your troubles and encourage someone to be strong and offer them their advice. I believe I am here for that I know you can do this and I know you want to change and I know most importantly that I want to help you be the best you can be.
- I offer you my unconditional friendship despite you saying that you will be reluctant in contacting anyone that offers you their friendship.
- I truly without a doubt believe in you... yes, this might be unrealistic to you but I honestly do and I will wait with open arms for a new friend who I will love to talk to and offer the best of my advice and most of all, TRUST TIME AND CARE.
message me/ contact me when you are ready there is no rush I will not go anywhere I am here.
- atrueadvice3
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Ever looked up Asperger's syndrome?
Or, heck, even a very high functioning autism?
What you describe is almost by the book. It happens. You're not the only one out there. Heck, that's me too.
There are a lot of sites that are dedicated to finding online friends. You probably will have a hard time with them because they will be looking for someone who is highly active in conversation. They're looking for more socialization. You're not really looking for that. You didn't just wake up and say, "The people I interact with each day is not enough. I need more communication with others! Must find!"
Try starting in a community based on socially awkward people or a group with socialization problems (like autism or Asperger's). They will be able to relate better and have better expectations of the conversations you do choose to have with them. They won't be looking for...social entertainment, is what I'm trying to say.
Stick with it and keep trying though. Friendships are hard to create, especially if you don't have experience with creating them. Online friendships can be harder for some people because of the facelessness of it (you will find that many Asperger's and austistics won't have that probably as severely as facial expressions tend to go unnoticed anyway). Keep posting. Try to be somewhat active in the search. Tell people a little about yourself--what you are interested in (sci-fi novels? watching the big bang theory on TV? building wooden models of cars? whatever it is you like to do).
Start online and learn acceptable communication from online conversations. It might take awhile to get use to it. In time you'll find it's easier to talk with somebody. You can begin taking that in your offline world. It takes awhile though, trust me. Heck, you might meet someone online that becomes your friend and can help you to move friendships to your offline world, you know? My husband has been great on teaching me how to have conversations with people. Though, I still have problems coming off as sounding cold online, apparently.
Don't stress over it too much. It will happen when the right friend runs into you. Growing up, I only had 1 friend until my 10th grade year. Even then, the friends I had were not "close" and I didn't tell them much. Friendships don't just magically fall into your lap. It'll be ok. In time you'll see somebody you chat with create a friendship bond with you. Just keep at it and don't worry too much. :)
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First, stop thinking things through to the point that you're back where you started.
Second, realize that you can have hundreds of friends, many of them good friends, and still have no one in this world you can really trust.
Don't be so hard on yourself, maybe you are just the type of person who prefers his own company. You should really only be concerned if it is at the point where you cannot have the basic communication and cooperation with other human beings needed to get through a given situation.
I really wish I could have some great advice to give you, but the truth is, no one in this world can step into your head and feel what it is like to be you, so the only thing you're going to get is generic and hopeful.
your first mistake is thinking you can develope this over the internet. IMing people, chatting, and all that stuff is great, but it will not give you the socialization and skills you are looking for. You must do something besides sit in the house all day; even if it's only to get to the corner store. If I were you, I'd start there.
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I am similar to you. I lived in Ohio most of my life and I only had a few friends throughout, most of them were kind of one at a time. I met them all through my love of horses so we had something huge in common. Now I live in Florida and honestly I dont really have any friends besides my boyfriend who I met online and I've lived here for 2 years. My boyfriend is extremely outgoing and talks to a lot of people so I get my social interaction with him and his friends who are slowly becoming my friends too. I also just got a job which seems to be pretty slow, business wise, so I've been talking to some of those people.
Basically you just have to put yourself out there. All of my friends are incredibly outgoing and will talk to anyone, including me. lol. It's hard to find those people but they are out there.
Find a hobby, get a job, create a study group for school, try an online dating site - all good ideas to "get out there". The best thing you can do is be brutally honest with people too. Just tell them you're really shy and are desperately trying to break it. People are a lot more understanding than you think. (especially once you're out of high school)
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