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teenage rape nightmares
im a 14 yrold girl and have a history of mental health problems like depression paranoia and the occasional acute delusion. my dreams tend to be otherworldly and imaginative. i've had rape dreams before but none as real as last night. normally i cant feel the pain and normally i have nuetral emotions in the dreams i have involving sex. last night i felt extreme emotional and physical pains. while being used about five times by different men in different places. i had nervously scratched my arms in my sleep and woke up red and swollen. even when i woke i was still half asleep and endured more horrible beatings and rapes which in being half conscious i can still remember vividly. all day i thought of the nightmare. i was caught spacing out with an 'in pain' look on my face in the car by my step mom. i couldnt talk with my best friend because i was too upset. i keep scratching at my arms and staring into space. all i can think of is how i felt. when the men hit me and shoved themselves inside me. i can still hear me screaming and crying. i've never been raped i am a complete virgin so i know these arent dreams from memory. how can i make the thoughts go away? how can i sleep tonight? why am i dreaming such horrible things?
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
You may want to get re-evaluated by a psychiatrist, because this sounds an awful lot like a symptom used to diagnose bipolar disorder (which I have). Bipolar disorder is often misdiagnosed as depression (mine was early on) because the highs won't cause you to seek treatment, since you feel great. I'm not saying your diagnosis is wrong, but it is something to keep your mind open about.
I can tell you a bit about what I've dealt with in this area. Most people have nightmares that scare them. For instance, they're in shark-infested waters. They wake up terrified. I've had a dream where I was in shark-infested waters, and I felt them tearing me apart, could feel every bite, could hear myself screaming and crying for help and could taste my blood in the water. Sound anything like what you've experienced?
The grogginess and spacing out can be attributed to another common symptom of mental illness called sleep inertia. It is often hard for me to get out of bed, because I'm so tired. I'll sleep through a half hour of my alarm going off. I'm tired when I get up, and it lasts hours. My fiance basically has to pull me out of bed, put me in the shower and put breakfast in my mouth, or I'd miss school half the time. It often follows really vivid dreams. That's because you're not really resting while you dream like that.
People who don't deal with this sort of thing won't really understand. There's a difference between the nightmares that most people have and the nightmares that people like you and I have. I know there are times that I'm terrified to go to sleep because I can't take the dreaming anymore. So I get where you're coming from.
It's all very well and good for us to suggest therapy, but you've got to sleep at some point in the near future! Until you can see a doctor, your biggest concern right now is to relax. Surround yourself with happy things. Watch a Disney movie, play a board game, go for a walk. Drink some herbal tea :) Avoid anything violent or overtly sexual in nature. Can you sleep in the same room as someone else, or do you have a pet who can share the room with you? It might help you feel safer and more relaxed.
Here are some online resources about bipolar disorder, vivid dreaming and sleep inertia. If you have any questions or want to discuss anything, feel free to inbox me.
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Therapy.
I know you may already see a psychologist but this is really important to tell them. It could stem from purely an absolute fear.
The thing that you must realize is that dreams are different for everyone. Dreams are only dreams. They aren't real. They won't ever be real. They cannot be real.
If it didn't happen then it did not happen. Keep that in mind. If you keep dwelling on it then it's likely that you will dream it again. That's how dreams your subconscious mind works.
Get your mind off of it. Do something that will create joy. Keep active in your mind. Don't think about the dream. At bedtime, remind yourself of all of the positive things in your life. Get relaxed. Make your room your secure haven. Be comfortable.
You can't really choose what you want to dream and what you don't. You can manipulate them and try to force yourself to dream a little of this or that if you want. In a dream like that, remind yourself that you're the one that really has the power. I have a trick where I start to count from the number 1 upward. I've never had to make it to number 10. I always wake up well before then. I have complete control. Sometimes, when I realize it's just a dream, I just alter things. I give the bad guys funny wigs or I disappear and float away so nobody can get me. Just stuff like that. Realizing that you have complete power in the dreams. The dreams aren't real. It's all inside of your head. It's your imagination going wild.
Lots of people "feel" things in their sleep. You can't help it. It happens. Hear those stories about people eating their pillows? They felt the sugary taste of marshmallows when they bit into the cotton pillows ;)
Talk to a counselor to help you sort the feelings out. The truth is, there might not be anything that can be done. Sure, they may offer sleeping pills so that you're knocked out cold but it isn't going to prevent dreams from happening. It's something that we, as humans, have to learn to deal with.
Try to move past it. Realize that it wasn't real. You have the power and control in the dreams. You can make the bad guys turn into pigeons if you want when you realize that it's just a dream. Talk out your feelings with a professional in case it stems from a deep fear of something hidden within the dream.
Beyond that, we can't help. We aren't professionals. We are only humans, just like you. We can only offer the support that we know from our own nightmares. I hope you have a better night tonight.
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