Ever since I was little, I always loved talking to my family about their problems. I love being able to help people. I maybe young but I am very good at giving advice on Love life. I am very mature for my 14 years of age and I want to help people with their questions and problems. SO if you have a question, don't hesitate to ask because of my age
I am also a huge Band Geek/Color Guard person, and I love music and writing. So if you also have questions on those I could help you out!
Gender: Female
Age: 15
Member Since: June 30, 2013
Answers: 138
Last Update: June 24, 2015
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Dragonflymagic
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21/F
I'm really crushing on this guy I know through uni and want to pursue it, but a) at the moment he's just an acquaintance, and b) he has a girlfriend back home. (I know that some people would disapprove of pursuing him at all since he's in a relationship, but you never know how happy someone is in their relationship, or whether their relationship is even monogamous, so I don't think there's harm in trying, but I do think I need to be more careful and not overstep my bounds.)
Basically, him and I are on the same course, are both involved in a few of the same societies, and he's also good friends with a couple of my close friends. We're a part of the same social circle but not friends ourselves. We've hung out in person amongst groups a fair few times, and briefly chatted one on one online. We're always liking each other's comments on discussion threads on our society pages, and then about a week ago he messaged me privately in relation to one of these discussions, and we've been chatting on IM since. Today the conversation got just a little more personal so I'm hoping we'll be able to branch out in topics and become friends. (Also, it's not flirtatious at all currently.)
Basically my question is, what do I do from here? It's still a month till we'll be back at uni and amid the same social scene, so there's no chance of hanging out in person until then. Ideally I want to become friends and also would like to subtly imply that I'm interested in more without being super obvious about it, so that he'll have an idea and can respond if he wants.
So, what should I do to instigate a friendship and possible romance?
Thanks x (link)
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I'm just going to be straight to the point and honest. It is wrong to think/actively pursue a guy who is already in a relationship. It's not fair to his partner/girlfriend. How would you like it if someone was flirting and pursuing your boyfriend while you couldn't do anything to stop it?
It's rude and shows you don't respect that he is already committed to someone. "He might not even be in a monogamous relationship" that is still not an excuse.
Ok but to your actually question, i would start off with just being friends, but not go further for now. I would wait until he becomes single again, or if he starts showing signs he's interested in you.
BUT if he is still dating her and starts flirting with you, don't date him. That shows he doesn't even respect or truly commit to his relationships. My mom always says "How would you feel if you were in their shoes?" think about it from that perspective.
So just becomes friends. Who knows maybe in the future something else will develop, Great relationships blossom from great friendships.
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hello
I'm a loyal type of guy one women
men and I'm in love with one of
mine senior
friend she know i madly love her
but
i dont know what she feels because
she
did such a things with me which
makes me depressed and always
hurting me not talking properly
always in rude manner but
sometimes she talk in very
soft and in polite manner and
whenever we use
to hangout together she is always
observing my expression what I
feel
when she says that she like
someone else she share all her past
secret but not telling the name of
guy (currently) to whom she like
aur loved(dont know any other guy
is in her life aur I). she is not fully
ignoring nor fully
allowing mee I am quite no totally
confused what she feels ...??
and always saying to me juss move
on and
concentrate on your future..! If i
guess she loves me but not
showing her
feelings because she feels dat I am
diverting from my goal and path
due to her
thats why she do this type of things
to
get me on
track. (only predictions not
confirm) And before she said to
her friend that when nobody
supports me Than he supports me
in my bad days. i don't why she is
behaving like this with even if she
knows that i supported in her bad
days...?? and when I ask her friend
that does she feel something for
me, she replied yes....!! (do she is
selfish type..?) one day I was out of
control of my feelings just want to
talk to her, so i ring but she said
she is buzy than i called to her
friend and i told everythng which
took before after half and hour her
friend called me and said she don't
like u she like someone else and if
this type of madness is continued
than she will break friends with
you...!! this sounds strange....?? for last 2 months we didn't talk properly only 'hi' and 'hello' type..!!
what to do...?? (link)
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Ok, 1 I'm just going to state, You've posted this exact same question, At least 3 time!! Why? Our answers will not change.
I think you should stop pursing her and find someone new, who will love you for who you are, and not send mixed signals.
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So I had this "best friend" for 11 years. All in all I don't think she's a bad person but over the years it seemed to me like she was just using me, only talking to me when she needed help or advice. I had/have an eating disorder and when she found out, she ignored me because she thought I was being complicated. I then lied to her that I'm good again,basically hiding my problems. The thing is that her boyfriend asked me if she was cheating on him and I told him yes (because she was). It just felt like the right thing to do because she was being horrible to him most of the time, not allowing him to do anything, basically putting him on a leash. When she found out I told him she said that our friendship is over. I don't know how I should feel, I mean she never really felt like a true friend anyways. Otherwise I'm still kind of sad about this because she was the only person I knew for this long and grew up with. I know that telling her boyfriend maybe wasn't quite the right thing but I just felt sorry for him and I didn't want him living a lie. How can I get over this? I'm pretty sure our friendship is over. Should I be sad about it? My boyfriend keeps telling me that I didn't really lose much because she was never acting like a good friend anyways. I'm also really hurt because in the end she made it seem like I'm the horrible person, even though I was always there for her, even though she only talked to me when she needed me. I helped her through so many bad things in her life, I used to talk to her for hours on the phone, just to make her feel better. And now she's the one saying that she can't be friends with someone like me. I'm just so angry right now.. (link)
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What you did was EXACTLY the right thing to do. He had a right to know. I would've done the same thing.
If you have to hide something completely serious from her, she is not a true friend. Saying you're being complicated and ignoring you win you're time of need was a horrible thing to do!
Then you being a supportive friend for her for so long then saying she can't be friends with someone like you....
You need to be happy, and drop her as a friend, or a person in your life. She does not deserve you.
I wouldn't be sad about it. You have a right to be angry about it
You aren't the horrible person dear, she is.You'll be fine :) you are better off without her.
- Hardcore=Band-Geek
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So I joined color guard a while ago and I am finally getting really good at it. I just started high school color guard with 7 other freshmen and I'm the second best freshman on our team. Yeah, SECOND. The first is my friend Jen. She is so perfect. She can spin a quad on a rifle already. She also is all of the upper classmen's favorite. Even my color guard partner likes her more than she likes me. I'm really jealous of this. So when band camp started this week, I always skipped my lunch hour and practiced drill and the work the whole time. I also came 1 1/2 hours early to practice rifle and other work. Plus I've been trying to learn really hard tosses like a 45 and scoop tosses. Plus when I get home, I practice for 2 hours. I just want to be good like Jen soon so when I'm a junior, I get to be co-captain, and my senior year team captain. The thing is, I'm not at all the type of jealous person. I'm the kind of person who worries about other before myself. I also ALWAYS say sorry. So this is kinda a weird feeling of being jealous at my friend. But I mean, she is better at everything than me. Besides guard, I do theater and I have done it for 3 years and this year I was supposed to get a good part. But no. Jen decided to try out for the first time this year and she got the MAIN ROLE. I got a lower role and I hated it. Plus, I have been doing competitive swimming since I was 8, I hold state records in my age group. But this year in summer gym, she beat my best time by 3 seconds and she has never swam competitively before. I get so mad. I work so much harder than her in color guard too. Like 10x harder. She doesn't practice unless she's with her color guard partner. But me, well I already said how much I do. I just want to be as good as her. It's so mean, but what do I do? I can't tell her because she will be mad at me and tell the rest of the team and they will all hate me. I'm so confused that it's hurting me inside. Please help. (link)
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I know what it's like to be competitive in guard. (I'm in color guard too) I'm a sophomore now, going onto my 3rd year of spinning. Last year was my second year as a freshmen. Last year we got a huge group of freshmen come in for their first year ( I did guard as an 8th grader so i was a year ahead of them)and this girl started talking bad about me behind back, saying I didn't deserve to be on saber line because i "Sucked". She was jealous that even though I was her age, I was on the advanced lines, she didn't even care about guard that much. She still dislikes me to today.
The amount you work is impressive, it will show through to your director.
Also who dictates who's best and who's not the best in your guard? You shouldn't let stuff like titles get to you.
AS for this girl. You are just going to have to stop comparing yourself to her. Yes it will be hard. But it's not healthy for you.'
All you can do is try your best. Color guard is a wonderful and very fun thing to do, don't spoil it by being jealous and always comparing yourself to this girl
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I am someone who doesn't have much dating experience because I am a picky person. Physical attraction is a must. But, it is one of many qualities I look for in a guy. So, I met this guy and he's attractive. But, we've been talking for a month and he has only called me once and we have only hang out once. It usually an excuse, but he has only express that he likes me one time. He text me almost everyday but their been two occasions where he didn't text for a few days. But, of course he is apologetic. However, I often question is he really into because I feel like he shows little effort. I feel I deserve more. I think I should tell him how I feel and move on? Or should I express to him that I would really like if you showed me you cared by calling, texting and hanging out more and see his response? I just want to make the best decision. (link)
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We girls can't always wait for the guy to make all of the moves. You should make an effort to ask him if he wants to hangout.
Maybe you can express to him that you like him. You should start showing effort too, maybe he doesn't think you like him.
- Hardcore-Band-Geek
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My girlfriend asking me why I love her.
(link)
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I'm probably around your age. So I'm going to answer to my best ability.
We want to know that you actually have feelings for us, like/love us for who we are. Not just our bodies. We want to make sure our feelings are reciprocated in the same way.
- Hardcore-Band-Geek
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There's this white/clear "gooey" substance in my underwear. I got my first period nearly a year ago. I thought it could be discharge, but don't you only get that before your period? (link)
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It's discharge. Everyone gets it. Your vagina cleans it self. It happens a lot, not just before your period.
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I just purchased a bearded dragon he is about 3-4 months old and about 6 inches long from head to tail. He was rescued from a breeder who underfed the babies and he had part of his tail eaten off and he was skinny. I thought he would have a hard time eating but easily eats about 20 crickets a day and a serving of carrots, apples, and collard greens. I keep his cage 100° on the hot side and about 80° on the cool. I have had him 3 days and he has only pooped once. It was a good size and firm/wet. I have him on aspen snake substrate but I read they can injest this and become impacted. I was thinking of switching him to newspaper. Since he has been home his belly has gotten twice as large as it was when I got him. (I think because he was underfed) I am just worried and wondering if he should be fine. He basks a lot and just eats and eats like no other. Is it a good idea to switch him to a news paper bedding? And should I be worried about his belly. He seems okay and is very alert and already let's me hold and pet him. I made sure to provide him water on both sides of his cage as well as basking spots and hides on both sides and a branch for him to climb and bask on that is stripped and cleaned we got from a local pet store, he has a 20 gallon tank a day and night lamp as well as a regular lighting lamp . He seems healthy. My fiancé has raised a lot of reptiles including several snakes and a monitor as well as an iguana. He says the little guy is okay. But I can't help but worry. Am I properly feeding him and caring for him? (link)
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I had a baby bearded dragon for a long time. Love them. If your fiance has experience and says he's doing fine then trust him on that :) you can always take him to the vet for check ups if you want too.
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There's this kid that almost got with my girlfriend while we were on a break and every time I seem to have a low moment, he seems to be having the highest moments of his life. For example 2 years ago they almost got together but her and I worked things through. That summer I had a really rough time while this other kid lost like 90 pounds and began to look great. Then this year he became a marine and here I am starting college not knowing what I want to do. Everyone praises him and his life seems awesome. I feel so insecure because I fear the fact that she may have second thoughts about us and I always feel like I have to look out for this kid and it is keeping me from living my life. What should I do? (link)
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All I have to say is that you will have to focus on yourself and not this other guy. You are insecure, you point that out. Good for you. You will just have to try and keep this guy out of your head. If anything, talk to your girlfriend.
You will find what you want to do in life. It just takes time :)
You will be okay, just stop obsessing over this guy!! You shouldn't be looking out for him.
- Hardcore-Band-Geek
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hey guys my name is Jenna and i have a relationship crisis there is this guy and we are bestfriends he is the sweetest and he seems intrested in me but my friends are always embarrasing me infront of him we have a good friendship he lives wit his grandparents they will let me and my friends in. i went in to his bedroom and spooned him he was asleep and he woke up and i said that was great last night it was so funny i almost died well tonight he was asleep me him and my two friends went in to his room and my BESTFRIEND (female not male) was flirting with him so we went on a walk we joked around a little then said good night and im gona go to his house tommorow how should HOW SHOULD I PRANK HIM AND SHOULD I TELL HIM I HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM???????????? (link)
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Yes I would tell him. Not because you want to get to him before you friend does, but do it because you want him to know.
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My girlfriend is always texting this guy see says is just a friend that comes into work and he doesn't mean nothing to her. They talk everyday all day while she's at work. Lately I've found her texting him to see what he's doing instead of him looking for her. When I asked her about it she just said I had nothing to worry about and see won't talk to him anymore but now she has him under a females name trying to cover up so I think she's not talking to him anymore. Am I just looking into this the wrong way or should I be worried? Thanks Taz170 (link)
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I agree with LauraGracey. Whenever my boyfriend asks who I'm talking to I'll tell him (guy or girl) If he has a problem with me talking to someone I will ask him why and see if it's reasonable. If it is i respect that, but i don't let him tell me who to not talk to.
Now here's the alarming part of this question.
If he is under a girl's name on your girlfriend's phone that is a REALLY bad sign. It sounds like she might be cheating!
And like LauraGracey said. If you haven't been together long; break up with her. If over a year or close, talk it out.
If you do talk to her, tell her how you don't like that she talks to him so much. That if she says she will stop talking to him, to go through with it and not hide this from you.
What she is doing is disrespectful. If she is hiding it, that sounds like cheating.
hope this helped
- Hardcore-Band-Geek
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will god forgive me and will I still go to heaven when I follow through with what I'm about to do. I figure if I'm going to loose everything I'm going to loose it on my terms. I am going to jail for driving under suspennsion and I,m on disability and I'll loose everything I'm already living my life in a wheelchair from a motorcycle accident. I already have my mind made up (link)
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Suicide is never the answer. I encourage you not to go through with it. There is not painless way to do it. You will cause the people you love great pain and sorrow by ending your life.
I know it is hard, but please stay. See if one of your close relatives will take you in.
I also encourage you to participate in therapy. Get your emotions out in the open. IF you talk to someone, a counselor that you can trust, they can help you out of this hard time.
Here is the phone number of the
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number
1-800-273-8255.
I hope you get the help you need. I hope I helped in any way.
-Hardcore-Band-Geek
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So I've never had a boyfriend before and I'm 18.. The thought of it is kinda depressing. It is always, either a guy approaches me but I don't like them or either I like them but they don't like me or we both like each other but then the other party doesn't want to commit to me. Although I keep telling myself that I don't need one. That I need to focus on school, and become a better me and the right one will eventually come ..but even through all this chant in my head I can't help but still feel lonely. I mean I'm not ugly, id say I'm pretty decent, but yet whenever my friends breakup with someone they somehow are able to bounce back quickly and find another guy that likes them. And it's weird because whenever people find out that I've never been in a relationship they're all shocked ... But yet it's rare that anyone will approach me. Maybe I should lower my expectations and standards... But then again is it too hard to ask for a guy that's honest, humble, loyal, funny, respectful, caring and handsome in my eyes ??? (link)
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You should never lower your standards. Not because you're lonely. Not for any reason.
Yes it's true, the right one will come eventually. You should try approaching guys. Not just waiting around for them. Just try and make some new friends that are guys. Maybe one of them will eventually become a boyfriend
Good luck :)
- Hardcore-Band-Geek
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period came on having sex its six days early how to get rid of itcame on today (link)
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I'm pretty sure you can't make your period go away. Periods come early, it's a fact of life. You'll just have to wait for it to end like every month. Now I'm not sure what you're asking about when it comes to sex. Having sex on your period? All I know is that like always you can get pregnant so be careful.
So I hope this helped to some degree
- Hardcore-Band-Geek.
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Hey. I have a problem that I really need help with. So I got out of a relationship with a guy a couple months ago and I was really heartbroken about it, then a couple weeks ago a friend of mine said that he liked me and asked me to be his girlfriend. Me being the idiot I am, said yes. I thought I liked him and it would help me get through the breakup with the other guy, but now I realize that I really don't like him. Also, I won't see him at all in person so I need to break up with him over text. Please help me. What do I do. Helpppp (link)
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Dumping someone over phone, Especially texting is cowardly. Don't do that!! They deserve better treatment than that. And just say that you're sorry but you arent interested in them or pursuing the relationship any further. Just be honest and polite.
If it is because you CAN'T see them in person, make something happen. Don't just say "oh well this is my way out" and dump him over text. Find a way to see them in person.
You got in this relationship in the first place so you need to find a way to break up with them without resorig to texting.
DO THIS IN PERSON.
-Hardcore-Band-Geek
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My best friend used to do everything together. I loved hanging out with her. When a girl on her basketball team moved into the neighborhood, whenever I came over, she'd greet me with," don't bother. I'm inviting my NEW bestie over." after a while, i stopped going over. After a while, she apologized. Then she gave me the book we wrote together. She said, "write a new entry, then give it back. Then I'll write one.". But when I tried to give it back, she smirked and told me it was mine now. She had passed off her junk onto me. It has been half a year now, but I can't get over it. I've thought about burning the book. Can someone please give me some advice, because even though she is a jerk, I still cry myself to sleep at night thinking about it. Thanks, ~M&M (link)
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Ok, so I'm going to guess you early teens. Now sweetheart, really all i have to say is that she isn't worth it. I know it's hard but you will have to give her up. She doesn't deserve you. Make new friends, it will make it easier to move on. I speak from personal experience :)
Good luck!
-Hardcore-Band-Geek
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My friend sent me a chain letter that you have to send to 20 people or a ghost will kill you, and my mom said not to send chain letters They are the work of the devil. She made me delete it, and said anything about killing or bad luck crap is the devil. Is this true? (link)
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If they are, I would be dead A LONG TIME AGO. They are harmless. They are fake and nothing to worry about. :)
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Miley Cyrus is naked on a wrecking ball,“OMG she must be a pig!" “what a SLUUUUUT!" Lady gaga and Nicki minaj dress like that,“eww, she must be, like, possessed!" “ugly illuminati ho!" But when Thicke makes a song singing about raping girls it is everywhere and populaur. Everyone loves it. When Taylor Loghtner is naked,“OMG he's so fucking hot!" “such a STUUUUUD" and raping girls is much worse than being naked on a WREEEEEEECCCCCKKKKIIIINNNGGG BAAAAAAAALLLLL. And Blurred Lines is annoying as Fuck. When Brittney Spears does...everything she did, people drove her to attempt suicide. When Justin Beiber cheats, drinks and drag races, eggs someone's house and spit on his neighbor, “he's going through a hard time" and his mom bailes him,“he's just a kid." Frankly I'd whip my brothers ass if he raped girls, and all the stuff JB did. I'd whip my sister's ass if she did the miley, Brittney and lady gaga and nicki minaj stuff. But why when a guy screws with 25 girls he's a stud, but if a girl screws with 1 guy, she's a slut. (link)
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It this concept society has built around gender roles.
Boys: Have to be tough, mean, emotionless. Have a lot of sex and he will be manly and praised.
Girls: Emotional, Feminine ,delicate and suppose to take care of the men. Girls are suppose to not have a lot of sex. It is frowned upon and will be "slut shamed" if they do.
It's a double standard really and it's awful. Guys are "supposed" to be wild and free while girls are "supposed" to be reserved and mature.
It's always been that way.
The bottom line, Gender roles and double standards suck. They are completely unfair and shouldn't exist. But society has adopted them.
WE shouldn't let these concepts keep us from being who we want to be.
Hope this answered your question to some extent.
-Hardcore-Band-Geek
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I'm a 21 year old female and have just recently started to develop some insecurities about my breast size. I'm 5'2" and 95 pounds, and wear a 32A size bra. I am going to be sleeping with a recent love interest for the first time in a few days, and for some reason I am kind of nervous for him to see my boobs because they are so small. I know some people think small boobs are sexy but they're not just small, they're basically nonexistent.
What's weird is that I've never been very insecure about this before. I've been sexually active since I was 16 and have always embraced having small boobs. And this guy is totally cool and never puts me down about my looks or anything so idk why it's all of a sudden an issue for me. How I stop being so insecure about this? (link)
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Confidence. You said you embraced this when you where younger, you can embrace it again :)
I'm the exact opposite. I have had a lot of insecurities about having big breasts especially for my age. Because I have a relatively small waist, they look even bigger! But only till recently I started to feel more comfortable.
You just need to love yourself who who you are and what you look like. You're beautiful :)
Plus you also said he would never put you down for your looks!
Have fun :)
-Hardcore-Band-Geek
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hello
I'm a loyal type of guy one women men and I'm in love with one of mine senior
frnd she know i madly love her but
i dont know what she feels cus she
did such a things with me which
makes mee depressed and always
hurting me not talking properly
always in rude manner but
sometimes she is talking in very
soft n in polite manner and whenever we use
to hangout together she is always
observing my expression what i feel
when she use to say that she like
someone else she share all her past
secret but not telling the name of
guy (currently) to whom she like
aur loved(dont know any other guy is in her life aur I). she is not fully ignoring nor fully
allowing mee im quite no totally
confused what she feels ...??
and always saying to me juss move on and
concentrate on your future..! if i
guess she love but not showing her
feelings cus she feels dat im
diverting from my goal and path due to her
thats y she do this type of things to get me on
track. (only predictions not
confirm)
what to do...?? (link)
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So... i got a little confused by what you are asking.. but here i go.
It sounds like she doesn't like you. I'm sorry but that's what I'm getting. She might like you as a friend but not further. I'm not sure, i don't know exactly what is going on.
On the "talking about a guy who she doesn't say the name" it might be another guy, she just doesn't want to share his name, I know whenever i talk about a crush i typically don't say his name.
Now on how she talks. Just tell her you don't like how she talks when she's rude to you and that hurts you. Clear the air between you two.
It's really hard when someone is graduating but you are not. Make's it really hard on relationships.
You should never allow your feelings for one person affect your life. You may end up losing feelings for her and hate how your life turned out. Stay on the path you want to travel.
All you can really do is just ask her if she likes you. I don't know what else you can do. I'm sorry,
Good luck, I wish you the best
-Hardcore-Band-Geek
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