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How to approach crush in a relationship?
21/F
I'm really crushing on this guy I know through uni and want to pursue it, but a) at the moment he's just an acquaintance, and b) he has a girlfriend back home. (I know that some people would disapprove of pursuing him at all since he's in a relationship, but you never know how happy someone is in their relationship, or whether their relationship is even monogamous, so I don't think there's harm in trying, but I do think I need to be more careful and not overstep my bounds.)
Basically, him and I are on the same course, are both involved in a few of the same societies, and he's also good friends with a couple of my close friends. We're a part of the same social circle but not friends ourselves. We've hung out in person amongst groups a fair few times, and briefly chatted one on one online. We're always liking each other's comments on discussion threads on our society pages, and then about a week ago he messaged me privately in relation to one of these discussions, and we've been chatting on IM since. Today the conversation got just a little more personal so I'm hoping we'll be able to branch out in topics and become friends. (Also, it's not flirtatious at all currently.)
Basically my question is, what do I do from here? It's still a month till we'll be back at uni and amid the same social scene, so there's no chance of hanging out in person until then. Ideally I want to become friends and also would like to subtly imply that I'm interested in more without being super obvious about it, so that he'll have an idea and can respond if he wants.
So, what should I do to instigate a friendship and possible romance?
Thanks x
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I'm just going to be straight to the point and honest. It is wrong to think/actively pursue a guy who is already in a relationship. It's not fair to his partner/girlfriend. How would you like it if someone was flirting and pursuing your boyfriend while you couldn't do anything to stop it?
It's rude and shows you don't respect that he is already committed to someone. "He might not even be in a monogamous relationship" that is still not an excuse.
Ok but to your actually question, i would start off with just being friends, but not go further for now. I would wait until he becomes single again, or if he starts showing signs he's interested in you.
BUT if he is still dating her and starts flirting with you, don't date him. That shows he doesn't even respect or truly commit to his relationships. My mom always says "How would you feel if you were in their shoes?" think about it from that perspective.
So just becomes friends. Who knows maybe in the future something else will develop, Great relationships blossom from great friendships.
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