I am on here to help people because that is what I want to do with the rest of my life and I feel like I give good advice. I hope I help everyone I write to.
Gender: Female
Age: 19
Member Since: February 20, 2008
Answers: 204
Last Update: February 22, 2011
Visitors: 14187
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Yes, I know the title may sound pretty odd, but that's exactly what I need. My friend is in desperate need of some common sense, only she thinks she's right at the moment. She's been going to the gym for about 2 months now, at least 3 times a week for at least an hour and a half. She weighed herself 2 days ago and went into complete depression mode. Now her plan is to starve herself, except for the occasional bits of fruit, and if she has to eat something in front of people, she plans to simply throw it up later.
I KNOW this is dangerous and unhealthy, but her goal is blinding her. She knows starving yourself EVENTUALLY works, she just doesn't know the risks she's taking. Please be sure that I WILL go to someone for help, I just need this one last chance to convince her myself. So, my question is, can someone who's familiar or who knows anything about anorexia, bulimia, or starvation make a small calendar for me? For example: week one, she'll loose 3 pounds, but also 10% of her muscle will have gotten eaten away by her own body, or SOMETHING along those lines. Maybe like a chart of what will happen to her body in about a month from now; how much queggy she'll loose, but what that will also cost her, and how long till she collapses. I'm sorry if this isn't clear enough.
I wanna confront her with the facts, cause I'm sick of not even knowing what I'm talking about. She's 16/f if it helps calculate... Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for the concerns and suggestions. (link)
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I don't know anything really about this subject I just wanted to write to you that you are a good friend. She is lucky to have you!
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okay so i just got played. bad! and this guy i fell for is so pathetic that my feelings for him now are bitterness and i kind of want to get even because hes doing this to so many other girls its just annoying and not right. so now the situation is that he thinks were "still friends" but really i dont even want to be his friend. i want to play him back. i want to bother him... and get under his skin cuz hes a liar, who thinks hes all that, and can have as many girls as he wants and treat everyone like shit! so please no lectures, the dick deserves it! soooo any tips???? (link)
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Have you ever seen the movie "John Tucker Must Die" if you haven't watch it...moral of that movie...don't do it!
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Okey, This guy I met 2 weeks back, Mike. His parents divorced when he was 2 so he went off to a boarding school,and since the past 2 years he's been living alone. He hasnt even felt what its like to have a family. He doesnt have any close friends (He calls whoever he knows aquaintances) He is really into books and uses dictionary terms when he's generally talking. But he is really poetic and treats me like a princess and is soooo..H.O.T!! Ok, he is somewhat like Noah, from 'The Notebook' if you've ever read Nicholas Sparks. I see myself falling for him. No,no I'm totally crazy for him. The problem is I'm a social butterfly whereas he doesnt even hang out with anyone. I feel if my friends would ever come to know about him, they would just die laughing at me. But I really like him. Can anyone please help me?
Thank you sooo much!!!
Love y'all... (link)
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you never know what will happen when you two start dating. You could be a catalyst for him to start hanging out with people. Don't force him or anything but I think if you were to show him that side of things he might want to. The thing is...is that he might have an effect on you making you not want you to hang out without him (I have been in this situation it sucks) If he doesn't want to hang out and you do you should because I think that is the only reason your friends would get mad because you would become a hermit and not see them at all.
Really it doesn't matter what your friends think as long as your happy and he treats you right they should be fine. Also if he is like Noah and I was your friend I would be like the most jelous friend in the world...lol!
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Tonight I cheated on my girlfriend, my soul mate, the only thing that is keeping me alive. What makes matters worse is that it was with a guy. She won't ever forgive me. I want to confess to her if I do I know the odd of her accepting me back are farely high. But I can't risk that. If she says that she can't be with me I will kill myself, hands down. I just spent the last 4 hours crying and debating whether or not to tell her, then I remembered that I had an account on here. I need advise. Well, I want advice but I really need to talk to her about this. She'll be coming to see me in a few days, we have a long distance relationship butive been in love with her for over 3 years now. I can't live without her. What should I do? Opinions matter a lot to me right now, thank you. (link)
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If she is your soul mate there is no reason to kill yourself if she does say she doesn't want to be with you. You should know that if you do tell her she will more than likely be very mad and yes probably break up with you but it is because she needs time to process things. If you are soul mates you will just have to wait. Believe me you can live without someone. It is hard for a long time and sucks a lot, but you have to talk to her about this after you look inside yourself and figure out why you did it. Talk to her calmly and tell her you know she probably needs time and you are willing to give it to her but make sure she knows why you did it and what you will do in the future to prevent this from happening again. She needs to know that you are sorry.
Do not kill yourself over a mistake. learn from it and change it and never do it again. You will gain nothing by doing such an act except hurt the one you love even more. I am sure she feels she cannot live without you either so killing yourself would be making her live without you and you without her.
good luck
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i'm 18/f
my 17 year old guy cousin likes this girl who is 17 also. they use to go out, but then broke up and went back out and broke up and she went out and ended up having sex with this other guy. keep in mind, she didn't have sex with my cousin. she has only had sex with two guys. anyways me and my cousin went out to dinner, and we saw her. we talked to her for awhile and when she left she told my cousin she didn't feel good. she was texting him and said that she has been eating like crazy, hasnt been feeling good, gained about 10 pounds in like a month, she got like a little blood about a week ago and that lasted one day. their condom broke, they found out after they were done, they lasted like an hour and a half i guess and she is not on birth control. i guess they had sex about a month ago too. she hasnt told ANYONE but my cousin, and she would kill him if she knew my cousin told me but he wanted my help, because i know alot about this and he doesnt. i cant tell if she is pregnant, but all her signs sure do seem like it. i know there is no sure way of knowing unless she gets a pregnancy test. my cousin was talking to her and she flipped out on him because she said she didn't want to talk about it but he is worried about her. she said she has no way of going to get a test, she doesnt have her license yet and she doesnt want to tell her friends, and if she said she had to go to the store, and someone brought her she thought it would be suspicious if she peed afterwards i guess. i just wish she knew that i knew about it, because i would be more than happy to bring her to get a test, but my cousin refuses to tell her because she will like never talk to him again and thats not an exaggeration. what am i to do? i feel bad for the poor girl. (link)
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why don't you go buy a test for her give it to your cousin and have him give it to her. She won't have to know and they don't cost that much then she wouldn't have to know that you know and she wouldn't have to get it...or ask you cousin to go buy it. Any way you can you should get her tested even if it means spending a little money.
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I am thinking about having sex for the first time and am extremely nervous. He is away in the military right now but is coming home for Christmas, so I haven't gotten to talk to him about it. I know I should talk to him about it and plan to, but it's still nice to get advice from others. I'm really worried about how akward it is or how it might be. I'm also worried about doing the right things to make it great. I have done stuff with other guys before but a lot. He is also a virgin too, will that make it easier for the both of us? (link)
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You should not plan anything (other than having a condom of course). I think the best thing is to just let it happen. the less you think about it the better. Because you are both virgins you might want to see how much he knows about it...like does he know to go slow (because of the hymen breaking). I just want you to know that the first time is not always pretty and might not be as beautiful or as plesant as the movies say. It does get better so if it isn't so good...just know it isn't because either of you did anything wrong it is just the way it is.
hope I helped
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Very long story, but here's the extremely short version. Well, I was going to break up with my boyfriend last monday. But apparently he was suspended until friday. I didn't have his number, so I couldn't do it over the weekend. Now he's back and completely ignoring me. I think someone told him we were over or that I was planning to end it, but I have no idea. He is completely ignoring me. Should I talk to him about it to make it "official" or just leave it? Thanks! (link)
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definetly ask him about it. you don't know the circumstances and you need to make it official. I am sure you will feel bad if you don't and will question a lot. He also deserves to know why.
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We know we are not right for each other. There is a tremendous amount of tension and resistance to connect on his part because he is afraid of getting hurt.
He is bipolar on meds, 13 years older, jobless, broke and struggling with erectile dysfunction. I am a single mom with a six years old daughter, working professional who makes a good living supporting me and my daughter.
He is only interested in having sex with me when we meet, he seldom calls me and if he does, he hangs up after one ring, expecting me to call him back.
He tells me he's seeing other girls and then I would be hurt and then he says he was only making it up to test me. He's been testing me for over one and a half years now. I don't feel any progress in his trust level. I am tired of proving myself.
I don't think I have ever connected in such a way with someone before. The connection is deep, I can read his mind and his feelings from the first date. I have never feel that way with anyone before in my life. He's the first.
I just dumped him because of his poor treatment towards me. Plus, I really think he's not into reconnecting anymore after our last breakup which was in april. Ok, this is like the 5th or 6th time, but whenever he calls again...I always go running back. Help me. I want to stop. Those are the only times he calls me.
I need a real boyfriend, a normal one who doesn't play with my mind and emotions like him who feels like he has to in order to feel good about himself. Oh yes, he said:" F*ck, I love you ok?" last week, because he asked me to go over to see him and I said I would only do it if he says I love you.
He said I love you once before and that was in 2007 summer. He said that one unexpectedly over the phone on his own.
Any suggestion will be much appreciated. (link)
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I have a friend in your exact position. The reason you keep running back is more than likely because subconsciously you feel like you cannot get anyone better. The best thing you can do if you cannot just ignore his calls is to get a new number. You have to "grow some balls" and say fuck you! Go on some dates and really get over him. Take new hobbies just through yourself into something else so you completely forget about him. The next time he comes it will be a complete surprise because you forgot about him and then you can tell him to f off!
I hope I helped
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17/f
I've had these terrible headaches, sometimes migrains, since I was a little kid. I've grown accustom to them,so even if it hurts, I learned how to manage, but sometimes they're so bad they get in the way of my social life. Ibuprofen doesn't work anymore, and tylenol wont either. I get sinus headaches, too, so I grabbed excedrin sinus headache, and it hasn't helped, either.
But all that aside, I was wondering why I get these. Can headaches be linked to depression? And what other remedies do you suggest I try to make these go away? (link)
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Depression and headaches could co-occur but there are many other reasons you could be getting it. You should go to a doctor and have them look you over. They can prescribe you imitrex or something because I think it is chronic migraines. You only take the pill once a month and my husband tells me it works really well.
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In my moms dream i was beheaded in a car accident.Their was lots of blood.I looked it up and it means death in going to happen
does this mean im going to die
i know it sounds stupid
but the whole thing kinda scared me (link)
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Dreams are not just there to tell the future mostly they are there to tell you what your unconscious is feeling...a way to release those thoughts. A mothers worst fear is to lose a child and that is more than likely the reason she had the dream. Her unconscious was acting out a fear. You should research dreams...it is fascinating to see all those reasons people dream!
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17/f
I don't know where I screwed up. Everyone hates me, I have been assaulted at two school events so far this year. I have two friends, I did have three but one no longer wants to be associated with me (she doesn't want to be hated too). I don't think I will be attending my graduation ceremony, everyone takes limos to, because I don't have enough friends to have a limo and I don't want to go alone.
This is pathetic. The police and school are finally involved because I have been assaulted and harassed on numerous occasions over several years. So now even more people hate me because are possibly facing charges and expulsion.
All I have done is mind my own business. I am an attractive, athletic, straight A student. I have accepted that this is how things are going to be.. but how do I prevent next year (university) from being like this? I am outgoing, friendly, often the 'life of the party' .. I love to dance, I'm not afraid to approach a cute guy ... the only reason I have been given as to why everyone hates me is because '[I] am an easy whore who sleeps around with everyone' .. I'm a virgin. Not because I don't have guys after me, I do, I just haven't gotten very close with any of them.
I apologize, much of the information I have given is entirely irrelevant. Thanks for your insight. (link)
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I am sorry you are going through this but seriously...no one cares about that shit in college believe me. Most of the time no one notices you. Make it through the rest of high school and believe me things will get ten times better. High School is just one stage of your life and outside of it no one cares who you were with in it. Look forward to college it will be better.I am sorry I don't have a lot of encouraging words to help you through the rest of the year because I really don't know what to do...it kinda seems like you did all that you can do. you cannot help what others think of you. you are what you want to be and who cares if they don't like it. Also keep close to the friends you have, they must be good!
hope I helped
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To all you girls out there, I have a question/scenario. Here is your chance to give some good advice to a confused man. I had been dating this girl for about 4 months. Everything thing was going FANTASTIC! I played it cool - didn’t rush anything - Just had the most amazing time together. I came over a couple of days ago and she did a complete 180 on me and said it was not working for her anymore. That’s fine, we all go through it – Here is my question: She also told me that when she realized that she loved me - she realized that she could not be in a committed relationship. How do you take that? What do you do about it? Should you do anything? She said she was in basic panic mode and felt uncomfortable in any relationship. She had been single for 6 yrs before she met me. Any advice here is good and appreciated. Thanks! (link)
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if I were you I would talk to her and see why she is feeling this way. She sounds scared to commit. Tell her you just want to talk and not force anything on her. There might have been something in her past making her this way and she has to know that you can handle whatever she has to say and that you are there to listen.
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i had a cold sore when i was in 5th grade. now i am in college and have never had one. i know that cold sores are a class of herpes so my question is do i have it? and if i do is it going to come back? (link)
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some people get cold sores more than others. It doesn't necessarily mean you have the full blown virus but it sometimes does mean that. You should go to the doctor and get checked because if you do you can get medicine and knowledge about how not to spread it. Just so you know you can have mouth herpes without having genital but just to make sure you should go to your doctor.
hope I helped
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What do guys mean when they say don't worry I know when to pull out for using unprotected sex? Can they really know when?
And what do you people mean by saying going in all the wayy????
Im 14 f. And still a virgin, but I have a bf that wants to do things.....
Please help me!
Thanks and I appreicate it
=] (link)
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If you are going to have sex do not have it unprotected! If you cannot afford the birth control you shouldn't be having sex. Some guys can know when to pull out but you never want to trust that because of the pre cum and because a lot of guys get so into it that they forget. Do not risk getting prego at this age. babies cost way more than birth control and you don't know if your guy will stick around. Do not let him stick it in if he doesn't have anything on! he might say it feels better and I don't doubt that but it is not worth the risk believe me!
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well... me and this close freind of mine whenever we hang out we get really close and this one time we were at a party and watching a movie in the dark and he was like trying to lift my shirt and was tracing the line of my shorts ( low rise shorts) and like almost unbuttoning my shorts and i feel really uncomfortble like i really like him but im not sure if i want to go that far and im not sure even if he wants to so im kinda confused and im really shy like about showing my body to any guys but hes the one i would feel most comfortable around if i had to... and another question is it a turn on or a turn off to have hair (down there ) haha please help =/ (link)
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If he is skipping to sex right away he more than likely only wants sex from you or he is confused on what he should do. You sound like a girl who needs a commitment from a guy and that is what you should ask for. I agree that you are not ready if you are asking and believe me have sex with a person you love and loves you back is probably the best thing in the world. If you don't want to regret anything you should wait until you know you are in love. I know that is not right for everyone but I think many people regret having sex with a person they didn't love.
Ask him for a commitment and then work on getting intimate. You will never get those butterflies in the stomach back if you go straight for sex. cherish the romance before you give everything to him. You will be happier in the end.
hope I helped
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ok heres the situation, im in love with my fiance, and my parents hate him, wont let me be with him, talk to him or see him. we've been together for 2 years, i know im going to marry him, i love him. im a 16 years old, and im pregnant. i want to run away and marry him, hes 19 years old in the navy, when youre married you get free housing for your family and everything along with being paid more. I read that in maryland you can get married without parental consent if you are pregnant. i want to run away from home and marry him, how will this work out, can this work out? wut will happen legal wise, i want to leave a note or something and just pack my bags and be very gone before they can do anything about it, i know my parents will call the police, will i get put in juvie as a runaway? will the charges be dropped and me be ok to be with him since we're married if we can in deed get married without parental consent? will anything happen to him for taking me in? please let me know asap. thanks! (link)
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believe me when you are underaged you do not want to get married! I don't know where you heard that you can leagally get married but I think that is wrong unless you are amancipated and obviously you aren't. Do what's best for your baby but wait. You are young and you need as much help as you can and unless you are willing to drop out of school you are going to need your family for help and support. Don't drop out either because it seems like the military people get paid a lot but babys and bills and food and all that costs a lot. Believe me just deal with it for two years till you are legal...you will end up regretting it.
OMG I just looked it up! your right. Honestly I think that rule is the most ridiculous rule ever. You are young and changing I am not saying you and him can't work out because I am young and married but at least wait until you have to take care of all finances anyways when you are an adult.
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Im going to a Halloween event at the local amusement park on friday with two of my friends, Mike and Anna. I have a huge crush on Mike and I want to take advantage of friday and show him that im interested in him. how do i do this without being obvious? i want to show that im interested but at the same time i dont want to come on too strong and be annoying. also im not sure if he likes me back so is there anyway to tell? we get along great and talk a lot. (link)
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you should ask anna to bring a date that way you are kinda stuck with mike. also then you can sit with him on rides and stuff so that you can casually lean into him if you scared or something.
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I love sex but I over heard my Boyfriend telling his friend about what goes on in our bed.i
m an very open person and people think that something like this shouldn't bother me but it is because. Me and my boyfriend do any and everything in the bed and his friends is kinda flirty.And thats probaly why. MY boyfriend always say his boys wish they had a girl like me and i just take it as a compliment..But now I feel uneasy about it because i think thats why they are always looking at me.We have had 3 somes before but never with any pf his friend...and i really hope he didn't tell them that... (link)
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You know I think I would be really flattered if they were looking at me like that. If you want you could always talk to them about it. You could always ask your bf if that is it. You might just be paranoid about it, but I think you should just stop thinking about it.
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18 years old, female
im sorry this is really long but i would absolutely love it if you could help me im hopeless and heartbroken. i'll give a 5 to someone who answers cuz i appreciate you taking the time!
i have been totally head over heals for my best friend, BUT he has a girlfriend of a very very long time. (2 and a half years) we use to be so close, flirt ALL the time. we never kissed or did anything. i just can't get over him. i feel like when i dont talk to him a part of me is missing. i am never truly happy because i know he is with her, and loves her. i can't take it anymore. i go months without talking to him, and as much as i just want to text him saying, "i miss you.." i would be afraid of the possibilty he wouldn't say anything back. he is always with his girlfriend which is annoying. i feel like he left all his friends for his girlfriend. i even told him this, that things between us and our friendship will never be the same for as long as he goes out with her. he said things would change but they dont. last time i saw him, he said that he missed me, he missed our friendship, he wondered what happened to us and why we're not so close anymore. sometimes i just want to go off on him but it's a kind of thing where as much as i hate him, i LOVE him so much. i love when we spend time together, i love talking to him, heck i feel like i want to become sexual with him (i know sounds silly, but im still a virgin, not a slut) i just have the strongest feelings for him and all the other guys dont compare. i tried, but it's not the same. i feel like i could wait forever because he is the only one im happy with. when i write this, many will think he probably seems like a bad friend to me but he really makes me the happiest girl ever when i hear his voice, when i see him i get butterflies..
i just dont know what to do. im SO lost right now and feel so alone. i cry at night because i miss my best friend and i wish he could be mine. i wish on every 11:11. my family and friends absolutely love him and want me to go out with him, if only it weren't for his girlfriend. trust me i tried telling him how i feel, how i feel like he doesn't care anymore, how we've drifted since he went out with his girlfriend and he ALWAYS says he misses me and when i see him, a few days after he will text me. one night he even texted me and said, goodnight i love you i was like awww [: and i say it back but then a few days after we wont talk and he wont text me and im the kind of girl that if you dont text me first, i wont text your FIRST. i've always been like that, always will be and he knows that.
any suggestions. i dont want him out of my life, we've been friends for about 4 years now and i can't let all the good memories go, he is or WAS my best friend. (link)
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ok this is going to be hard but there is really only one thing you can do. Stay in his life as much as possibly, make sure he knows you will always be there. Never ever tell him anything bad about his gf because it really is none of your business and if you do he will more than likely turn away from you.
Considering your age there is a big possibility that they will break up (if they aren't meant to be with each other)because of changes and college and stuff.
I know how you feel. When this happened to me the guy and girl weren't dating very long but I know how bad it hurts to think about someone so much and not have him. I believe that you having this feeling is the real thing and if you are meant to be together he will sooner or later realize it.
There is another thing you could do. Tell him you like him, tell him you will wait but if its too long you might not be there for him when he realizes it. I did that but like I said my guy didn't have nearly as much invested in his relationship!
I really hope that it works out and have strength...it will work out one way or another!
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Hi please help
My girlfriend and i are about to get married. This week her ex boyfriend contact her. He needs help. He has been lying to everyone. He is at a stage where he want to end his life. My girlfriend decides that she want to help him. She feels sorry for him. In four years he has had no contact with her. Why now. What should i do. (link)
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your soon to be wife cannot help him. Like a person below me said it is hard to know, not knowing him and all. It definelty is a possibility that he wants to split you guys but he has no real right to ask your gf for help. She cannot do anything because once she thinks she has helped him and leaves him alone it will more than likely happen again. She is jumping into a cycle which will more than likely hurt your relationship. If she wants to help him she needs to contact the ones he is close to and get him into treatment. Now I am not saying it is terrible for her to be there for him but this has a huge opportunity to ruin your relationship and you cannot let that happen.
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