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Help! I am weak...
We know we are not right for each other. There is a tremendous amount of tension and resistance to connect on his part because he is afraid of getting hurt.
He is bipolar on meds, 13 years older, jobless, broke and struggling with erectile dysfunction. I am a single mom with a six years old daughter, working professional who makes a good living supporting me and my daughter.
He is only interested in having sex with me when we meet, he seldom calls me and if he does, he hangs up after one ring, expecting me to call him back.
He tells me he's seeing other girls and then I would be hurt and then he says he was only making it up to test me. He's been testing me for over one and a half years now. I don't feel any progress in his trust level. I am tired of proving myself.
I don't think I have ever connected in such a way with someone before. The connection is deep, I can read his mind and his feelings from the first date. I have never feel that way with anyone before in my life. He's the first.
I just dumped him because of his poor treatment towards me. Plus, I really think he's not into reconnecting anymore after our last breakup which was in april. Ok, this is like the 5th or 6th time, but whenever he calls again...I always go running back. Help me. I want to stop. Those are the only times he calls me.
I need a real boyfriend, a normal one who doesn't play with my mind and emotions like him who feels like he has to in order to feel good about himself. Oh yes, he said:" F*ck, I love you ok?" last week, because he asked me to go over to see him and I said I would only do it if he says I love you.
He said I love you once before and that was in 2007 summer. He said that one unexpectedly over the phone on his own.
Any suggestion will be much appreciated.
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Now i`m not sure if his actions are a result of his Bipolar condition but the way he treats you is not healthy for you or you child. If you wont stay away from him for your own phycological ell being do it for your daughter. I say, do not return his calls. Let him know why you left and why you are not going back. let him know you know someone who will return the feelings you feel for him. Tell him it is a two way street and you deserve to have him treat you the way you treat him. I understand that you love hi and that you connect with him but don`t let him put you down. He is making you feel worthless. You are a wonderful mother who can clearly live happy independently. Go out and meet other people, but don`t fall for the same type of man. After he finishes his degree maybe he will realise what he will realise what he lost.
I would like to tell you a story. My father recently left my mother, she is 51 he is 69. She alwasy said she stayed with him for us, they never showed each other affection and the would constantly put each otehr down. My father didnt like my mother side of the family and so she stopped visiting and felt she was trapped with him. Finally for some reason he left him. She was devastated. After being with the same man and picking him up everytime he fell he up and goes. She is in so much financial trouble but now that she knows really what it is like to be without him she will never go back. and he has come back asking to return. She says she loved him but he is not worth the pain he put her through.
Think about your future, think about all the times he makes you cry or yells or disrespects you, is that the kind of man you want to live the rest of your life with. Is that the kind of father figure you want your daughter to be around. Think about your future and do what is right. he has nothing to offer you from what i have heard so just be strong, and dont go back.
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I have a friend in your exact position. The reason you keep running back is more than likely because subconsciously you feel like you cannot get anyone better. The best thing you can do if you cannot just ignore his calls is to get a new number. You have to "grow some balls" and say fuck you! Go on some dates and really get over him. Take new hobbies just through yourself into something else so you completely forget about him. The next time he comes it will be a complete surprise because you forgot about him and then you can tell him to f off!
I hope I helped
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