I barely get ratings, but I wish I'd get more. Even if it's not a 5, I still like to know whether anyone is finding my advice helpful or not. I'm always really thrilled whenever someone rates my advice, because positive feedback really makes me happy and reminds me why I stay on advicenators.

I mena, we all do this because we like helping people and don't expect anything back from it, but I agree with you it's common courtesy to rate someone when they put in a lot of thought and effort into your answer. I always rate people when I ask questions, even just for trying. I always get annoyed when I see people get a 1 because their answer wasn't what the person wanted. I don't know why people bother asking advice if they only want people to agree with them or tell them what they want to hear. But I guess that's a whole different thing completely. :)

It was wrong of you to add her behind your boyfriend's back, but I honestly think that us girls can get curious and would do the same thing. However, once you found out it was his ex, you probably shouldn't have ventured any further.

The reason he probably didn't tell you the details of the relationship is because he knew it would bother you. And he was right. No girl wants to know what their bf got up to in their past, with another girl. The more you speak to her, the more you're going to find out and the more upset you're going to get. You've already discovered some things you didn't know, and didn't want to know, and now you can't go back.
You say he's lied about a few things. You didn't specify what exactly or how serious it is, but don't forget it's only her word you've got. Who do you trust more, some random girl you don't even know or your boyfriend? Remember, if he broke up with her, she may be bitter about him so she might make up stuff to blacken his name. Consider all possibilities here before thinking he's lying!

You also say she says he isn't over her, but if she was going on about him to a complete stranger over the internet, I'd say it was her who isn't over him!

I don't think you should tell your boyfriend what you did. I'm usually all for fessing up, but this will just cause trouble. What you could do, however, is ask him about his ex and how he feels about her exactly, and what happened with them, etc. Don't hint at anything you have found out. Ask him if he's over his ex, and if she is over him. Maybe he'll tell you, maybe he won't. If he doesn't, I'm sure he has a reason for not telling you. Respect the fact he's entitled to have a past, and try not to keep finding out more about it. You can't change his past, but you can change the way you think about it. No matter what, you need to stop speaking to this girl as this isn't going to do you any favors.

Good luck.

Sounds like this guy is very unsure about what exactly he wants. He's basically making every excuse in the book to not get in a relationship with you, yet he wants to be more than just friends. What's with that?

Friends with benefits is generally a bad idea because almost always, one person ends up falling for the other, like in your case. It's difficult to seperate your feelings like that. Doing things with a friend with "no strings attached" is easier said than done. He says he's not willing to put all the time and effort in, which was a bad thing to say because that doesn't show someone you care about them very much. I'm not saying he doesn't care about you, but that's the message he's putting out.

I think that if you continue the way you're going, you're only going to get hurt. If you keep doing the whole "friends with benefits" your feelings for him will grow even more intense. This guy obviously wants the "benefits" of a relationship but without the committment and effort. Sorta like using someone up. I don't think you should let him do this to you anymore. Tell him that he needs to make a choice between being friends with you or being in a relationship with you.

I'm sorry if that seemed a little harsh. That's just what I think you should do. Good luck.

I don't think he'd ask you if you liked him unless he was interested. I could be wrong, but it definitley seems like something to me. A lot of people never get the right opportunity to tell the person they like how they feel, but you have it. It's cliche, but if you don't do it you might regret it later and might wonder what could have been if you had told him. Tell him the truth about how you feel. Don't delay it any longer. The worst that could happen is that he won't feel the same way, but at least you'll know for sure then. And you'll feel much better once its off your chest.

Good luck with it.

Hey. There's several things I can suggest:

- Make sure you study in a quiet room, without any TV or computer or any distractions. Avoid music if possible. Some people find it helps them, but for the most part I think it's distracting.
- Take a lot of breaks. If you don't have a break once in a while, it's actually counterproductive as you need to give your brain a rest after a while or none of the information will properly register
- As for studying, rather than simple rote repetition, try some mnemonic devices. These are much better than simply reading over the information over and over again. This will ensure it's properly encoded in your memory (We learnt all about this in Psych) http://library.thinkquest.org/C0110291/tricks/mnemonics/index.php
- Do some past papers if you can get a hold of them. They help with the format and structure of the exam, and you'll know what to expect. It'll also help you identify any areas you're having trouble with, so you can focus on them. If you can't get any, write yourself some questions
- Get someone to test you
- Caffeine, caffeine, and more caffeine! Red Bull and other energy drinks really help me stay alert and focused. Some people don't like them, but I recommend them. You won't get so tired.

As for in the exam:
- Before you get into the exam, try and avoid people. Why? Because they'll just make you feel even more nervous. There's always someone who'll go on about how much study they've done, and ask you how much you've done, etc. Not really that important I guess but it's something I've learned!
- Try and relax. If you get yourself too worked up, you won't be able to concentrate. Practice some deep breathing exercises and tell yourself "It's okay. I know all this. I can do this"
- Make sure you get a sufficient amount of sleep the night before. I'm talking 9 or 10 hours. Don't spend the night before cramming!
- When you get in there, make sure you read every question thoroughly. a majority of the time people make mistakes in exams by not reading the question carefully enough. Make sure you identify that the examiners aren't trying to trick you with the question somehow.
- If you're confused with a question, skip it and go back to it. Often by doing other questions, you remember how to do the other ones
- Answer ALL questions. You get zero for not trying, but if you at least try, you may get something
- After the exam, don't talk to people either about what they put as if they have something different to you, you'll worry yourself sick! Accept that you did what you could, and don't worry about what you could've done differently. Be happy it's over!


Don't stress out too much and you'll be fine. A certain amount of stress is healthy for motivation, but if you worry too much you'll only burn out! Give yourself lots of breaks.

Good luck on your exams!

It's nice that you're willing to give him another chance, but he certainly doesn't deserve one. He has messed you over twice already, and as you put it "found another girl to like" even though it had only been a week! He doesn't sound very genuine. By giving him another chance you may just be hurt again. Don't waste your time on a guy like this when there are plenty who will treat you well. If he had only upset you once, then maybe you could give him another chance. But twice is unacceptable.. I think in this case its true that a leopard never changes its spots. Don't let him hurt you again.

Yes. I wouldn't say it's "love" though, but if you really like someone.. there can be times when your feelings aren't as strong. That's mainly when you don't see them for a while. And then you see them again, the feelings come rushing straight back to you. I think everyone feels like that at some stage. Feelings are so weird.. they can come and go so fast. Don't look much into it; when you're young your feelings can be very messed up at times because you're constantly changing.

Actually, I agree with you. I try not to get my personal beliefs get in the way of giving advice. It's bound to get in the way to a certain degree, but if someone needs help people should just give it to them without giving them a lecture. If people are against it, they just don't have to answer the question. It's as simple as that.

As for me... I used to be pretty pro-life, but I'm more pro-choice these days. As for the sudden change, I suddenly became more political and more aware of it. I didn't consider the other side of the story before, which I'm trying to do now. I certainly don't agree with it and I would NEVER encourage anyone to get one. But if they do, I can't stop them. People have a right to make a choice like that without someone telling them what to do. They're not "evil" for having a right to make their own choices about things affecting THEM. Anyway, I usually avoid questions about abortion but if someone asked for me for help I'd give it to them. It's a horrible thing for anyone to have to go through, and a person needs help and support not condemnation if they've made a decision to get one. I definitley think there are FAR too many though, and they shouldn't be allowed after a certain amount of time.

I don't really know what to say with this one, but I did say on my column that I'd answer any question that came to me, so here goes.

He says he has "respect" for you, but why shouldn't he have respect for them too? Just because he's not going out with them doesn't make them any less of a person. What he's doing is using them as a means to his own end.
Anyway, it's normal to only want to be the only girl your boyfriend ever thinks about. Us girls can get pretty jealous, lol. I have no idea how old you are, or how long you guys have been together, but I think that.. yeah.. it should be you he's thinking about.

Maybe you should tell him that it really bothers you. I'm suprised he actually told you anyway, as most guys would be too ashamed to admit that to their girlfriends. Maybe he's feeling guilty about it. Communication is the key to any relationship, so let him know how you're feeling. If he really "respects" you he'll stop looking at porn and focus solely on you. If not, you might have to wonder if he's worth it. Most guys look at porn, but the genuine ones have the decency to put it away when they're with a girl. Consider that.

The fact you've been together 8 months through thick and thin shows you definitley have something special going on there. That's quite a long time to be in a relationship with someone at your age. Often, though.. you meet points in a relationship where you ask "is it all worth it?" Doubt is a part of everyones journey. Now I'm not sure what's been going on with your boyfriend, but you should talk to him and ask him why he's giving it up now. Explain to him you want to work through this like all the other times. Tell him you want to try no matter what because you really care for him. Maybe he's feeling insecure about things? Maybe people have been saying things to him? There's gotta be a reason why he's "sick of trying" now after everything. Whatever problems you have can usually be sorted, and if not it's worth at least trying. Tell him you're willing to try. Is what's going on now really worth breaking up over? Is it worse than any of the other times? Ask him that.
If he still wants to break up after you've tried to sort things out, then I don't know what else you can do. At least though you'll know you tried to set things straight and remedy the situation. It's his problem if he isn't willing to put in the effort to straighten things out with you two. A relationship shouldn't be one-sided. Two people need to put in effort to make it work.

If you'd like to explain the situation to me more in detail, drop one in my inbox. I'd be happy to help a bit more.

Good luck

Sorry to have to tell you this, but yes, it appears he's cheating on you. He even had the nerve to lie about it. =/ What an asshole. You deserve someone way better than him. You definitley need to confront him about this. Don't get mad at him at first, just ask him outright. If he denies it, tell him what you've found out. You DEFINITLEY need to do something about it! What he is doing is completely wrong, and he needs to fess up now.

Good luck.

I think he's trying to make you jealous, because he requires some kind of "validation" from you about your feelings for him. He wants you to be bothered by the fact he likes other girls, because that shows you really like him.
I think he does probably like you, but he's definitley going the wrong way about it. You should tell him how you feel, and ask him outright whether he really wants you or not. It's not right for him to mess with your feelings the way he is. I don't think he's trying to be malicious or anything -- a lot of people do this kind of thing because they're "insecure" and its the only way they feel "wanted" However, it's still not a nice thing to do. Ask him what he really wants, or else you'll never get anywhere with him.

By most peoples definitions, no, getting/giving oral sex means you're still a virgin. I personally consider it sex, but unless you have actual intercourse, you're still a virgin.

EVERYONE gets acne. Everyone. Even celebrities get it. Most of the time I actually don't even notice it on people. It doesn't ruin peoples appearance to me at all. Anyone who would be put off someone by the fact they have acne is incredibly shallow. I don't know what kind of person would stop being friends with someone because they got a few pimples, but I hope I never come into contact with someone like that.
Besides, acne isn't permanent. With proper creams and medication, you can get rid of it. And it disappears almost completely in your adult years.

How reliable is his best friend? I'm not sure you should believe everything he says. There's a chance he's telling you BS about your boyfriend to try and put you off him, or to screw things up.

However.. if his friend is telling the truth.. I can understand that you're bothered by the fact he's not a virgin. It's not something anyone likes to know about someone they're with. The fact that he is so young too probably makes it worse. Obviously, there's not a lot you can do. A lot of people lose their virginity at a young age and then regret it later. It probably didn't mean much to him.
As for the cheating thing.. well, don't know what to tell you there. I hate cheating more than anyone, but if you really like him then maybe you can put his past behind. Have you spoken to him about this? Maybe you should ask him all about this yourself, rather than his best friend.
You can't change the past, but you can learn from it. Hopefully he has, and won't repeat his past mistakes.

Good luck.

You say she felt bad and remembered you aftewards. Uh, hello? She shouldn't have done it in the first place!! How could she just forget about you like that?

You say she did it 5 times AND gave him a handjob. If she had only kissed him once, maybe that'd be forgiveable. But 5 times?!
What she did was wrong, plain and simple. Yeah, it's good she told you, but maybe she just told you so you didn't find out from anybody else (which you probably would've) I personally wouldn't stand for this. She KNEW what she was doing and wanted to do it at the time. She should've stopped after the first time.

You're 13, there'll be plenty more girls in your life. She won't be the "love of your life" I can guarantee you that.

Ultimately it's up to you. If it were me, I wouldn't give them another chance. I take cheating very seriously. I reckon that if someone cheats on you, it means they're not dedicated to you at all. If they have the potential to do it once, what's to say they wouldn't do it again?

I did some research for you and it's actually okay to drink while on antibiotics, except if you're taking Metronidazole. Only in very rare cases is there side effects. But since you've finished them anyway, you're totally fine. I'd recommend you'd drink in moderation though just since you've been sick, presumably. But you don't need that lecture from me.. lol.

Have fun tonight!

Actually, that happens with a lot of people. I know I argue with my friends over MSN all the time. I think the reason is because you're not face-to-face, and it's easier to say what you're feeling/thinking. In real life, if something annoys you or whatnot, you're less inclined to say it because you're face-to-face. That's my theory anyway.
Plus, the closer you are with someone, you more you fight anyway. That's inevitable, really. =/ The fact that you guys sincerely care about each other and don't argue when in each others company leads me to believe theres no real problems with you guys. Maybe just try and avoid certain topics on MSN, or think before you say something. It's easy to say something stupid on msn that could potentially upset someone. If you're not feeling too great, just sign off for a while because I know from experience its not good to be online when you're feeling blah..lol.

All the best. ^_^

Depends really. I don't consider it to be vulgar, but if you were talking to someone devoutly religious they might be offended by it. It's not as bad as "fuck" or something though. I don't think you have much to worry about.
Of course, teachers/grownups might feel differently. It's really hard to tell. But like I said these days its not that vulgar.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. You should be flattered she got her haircut like yours.

For the record, decent people care about personality too, not just looks. The only reason you hate her and think she is ugly is because the guy you like wants her instead.

I don't really think that you're serious anyway. If I was like you are, I wouldn't dare ask for advice or show anyone what I'm really like.

Anyway, in the slim chance that you really are serious, and this advice isn't a joke, I'm not going to be a bitch to you. Karma might be a bitch to you though, one day.

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