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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
Okay , so i had sex with my boyfriend and we didnt use a condom , they say if you urinate
right after sex you may become pregnant is this true ? If so what do i do
The Answer
You could be pregnant. You had unprotected sex.
Urinating after sex is good advice, because it can minimize your chances for annoying urinary tract infections, but it has no big effect of your chances of becoming pregnant.
Seek out a doctor, or women's health clinic. You need better advice on how to manage your sex life responsibly, and you may need a pregnancy test in a few weeks.
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The Question
i know you can make money blogging but the thing is how exactly? I know you but a domain name, then buy hosting, but how exactly do you get the money from the clicks on your blog? Like to you put your PayPal somewhere or....? I'm totally confused..........
The Answer
Most of the people who 'make money' blogging, are selling advertising space on their blog. The 'clicks' you get money from aren't people visiting your blog, those clicks refer to people clicking on the advertisements on your blog - then those advertisers pay you. There are many companies that will help you sell ads, or you could try to sell them directly.
However, It takes a lot of work, over a long period of time, to get enough people visiting your blog in the first place that there are enough of those people clicking on the adverts to make anything like any real money.
Most bloggers don't make a living blogging. They might make a little bit of side income, or use to to promote themselves professionally.
You'll find a lot of scam artists trying to sell you get-rich-quick blogging tools and systems. Bullshit. All of it. Read this for a more realistic look at blogging and what bloggers make:
http://lifehacker.com/can-i-really-make-a-living-by-blogging-1537783554
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The Question
is there any chance of hiv after getting blowjob by a gay ?
The Answer
You can only get HIV from a person who has HIV.
Anyone can have HIV. Men, women, gay or straight.
It can be transmitted via oral sex, although the person who is performing the oral sex is at greater risk than the person receiving it.
It is possible to get HIV from someone who has HIV if they perform oral sex on you. It is impossible to get HIV from someone who doesn't not have HIV.
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The Question
So long story short today I got into a fight with the guy that we will refer as Ryan to protect his name. I was so mad at him for a personal reason and I got my friends to try to talk to him and he said to one of my friends : “Tell Tyler to stop using his child friends to talk to me. That’s the shit that pisses me off.” I texted him and responded and said ” What the fuck ever dude. I’m tired of this shit. I’ll see you at camp (since he got a job at the camp that I go to), not as a friend, as an instructor.” What he said was what I deserved just to make that clear. I then proceeded to freak out and I grabbed a knife and cut my legs with brutal force and all of my friends in the process were freaking out because of what I was doing. I then told him how I was doing such a thing and he literally flipped out and told me that he did not want me to die and stayed on the phone with me until I regained consciousness and told me that he knew that I could push through the other things that led to me doing so to my legs because some of the other triggers were awful. I then regained consciousness and cleaned up the blood and patched up my legs and then I apologized for being such an asshole to him and we then proceeded to talk and then he went out to do something and he isn’t even in town at the moment. Also while I wasn’t awake he kept texting me to stop and I cant really describe what else he said because it was so thoughtful to say when his friend which is me was slowly dying.
The Answer
You need to seek mental help for your self-harming behaviours.
I'm not even clear, from your question, what it is this guy did that upset you so much in the first place. What I do know, is that NOTHING a guy does should ever lead you to hurt yourself like that!
Talk to a trusted adult about what happened. If not your parents, then a teacher, or a coach, or a neighbour. Someone. Ask for counselling and support. Don't stab yourself just to get a boy to be nice to you! That's not sensible or heathy.
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The Question
My dream has always been to go to the ocean and etcc. My family has never gone for two main reasons my dad hates them, and my mom hates flying.
I told my boyfriend (whom I've been with 3 years) that I have always wanted to go there since I was little. Next month is my 23 birthday, and he surprised me by booking a trip to take me there! I am so excited!
However, I am worried my mom is going to be very angry. I told her how I wanted to visit a friend who moved to Texas for a job and she said "oh no I would be too nervous you flying there" she has always done stuff like this. I didn't go to the college of my choice, because it was 2 hours away and that was too far away from her.
I am worried about her reaction when I tell her. Should I feel bad? What should I say? I'm not wrong, am I?
The Answer
You shouldn't feel bad.
Your mother's fears are her own, and she needs to handle them in a respectful way.
You don't OWE it to her to never fly. You do owe your boyfriend the respect of not cancelling this fantastic trip because you are worried about hurting your mother's crazy feelings!
Lots of people are afraid of flying. Many of those people STILL FLY, because they know despite their fears it's a rather safe thing to do and a necessary way of getting about.
Your mother is allowed to be afraid, but she has no right to be angry, and frankly, if you surrender to your mother's crazy, your boyfriend would have every right to be pissed off with you. I wouldn't want to date a 23 year old who lives their dedicated to making their mom not act like a crazy people, at the expense of their own life.
Tell your mother. It's okay to be nervous of her reaction - it will be bad, but don't back down. She can be as afraid as she wants. She has no right to be angry, and no reason to stop you. Be sympathetic to her - it's sad that she so scarred - but let her know that her fear will not be stopping you. If you are clear and firm, she will have to learn to cope with the fact that you are your own person.
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The Question
Hello everyone, I am having sexual frustration as well is my partner. I am a female and I cannot orgasm. When he plays with my clit it becomes ticklish and feels good but it's almost uncomfortable at the same time. And when I really start going my legs normally spaz and my body jolts and then he tries again and the same thing keeps happening. Can anyone give me ANY advice on how to relax, or to make my legs stop spazzing, literally ANY kind of advice or tips. I want to orgasm so bad and I get in the way of myself from getting there. Also, when a female does orgasm, does she always cum? Thankyou!!
The Answer
Have you ever orgasmed? By yourself, through masturbation?
That's really the place to start. It's difficult to tell your partner what works best for you, if you don't actually know. You might also be struggling because you don't know what sensation to expect and are psyching yourself out. Masturbation is really helpful at figuring your own sexual response out. Many women struggle to reach orgasm - especially with partner. It's not abnormal, but it's is unusual not to masturbate. Most people do, even most women. If you don't, you shouldn't seriously consider giving it a go.
Women can be quite unique, so I'm not going to give you any explicit advice beyond that: Masturbate.
As for your other question, very few women ejaculate when they orgasm. That is an uncommon phenomenon.
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The Question
we started dating 4 months back. he calls me like 4-5 times a day. we go out. we chat whole day. he takes me for drives. we have been physical too. he shares things with me. his life things and does nt hesitate to tl me things. in between we had a fight and he broke up. but after 5-6 days he did even come back. im just confused is he really trustworthy or hes just faking it or he just wants to be physical. after brkup nw he says tht my love ws nevr fake n al. should i trust him?
The Answer
Nearly no one ever 'fakes' being in love hun. Normally, people just change their minds. They feel love, or they think they are in love at one point, and then they change. Most people aren't evil. just confused.
It's up to you who you think you can trust. Everything you've described might be just human confusion, and flaws and mistakes. Or, it might mean you relationship isn't strong enough to survive. We can't see into the future, and neither you can you. So you'll just have to decide if you believe him or not.
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The Question
I'm 24 and recently started dating this guy whose 28. We met playing a sport we both love and there was and instant attraction on both ends. We've gone on about 6 dates now and there is definitely sparks, we get along great, and we can talk for hours. He asked me to make things a little more serious and be his girlfriend and I agreed because I felt like it was really worth a shot. The date after he asked me to be his gf we watched a movie at his place and he asked me if I'd be mad if I knew his ex used to live with him. I lived with my ex so this question didn't even make me flinch. He then quickly told me his ex's mail still gets delivered there and there's a huge stack of her mail that he says he doesnt feel like giving to her. I thought it was just a really bad breakup and neither of them wanted to see each other so I didn't push. The next date we got a little physical and he called me by his exs name. He quickly apologized and said he's just been saying that name for three years and it just slipped out. He sounded guilty and asked if he should leave but I told him mistakes happen and we just ended up going to sleep after that. Just today we had a great date but something was nagging me so I looked up his Facebook and found myself on his ex's page. During their breakup not only was/is he keeping her mail but apparently he gave away her cats. This just made me worry. I know there are two sides to every story, I'm just afraid to ask. I really do like this guy but before I get too serious I would like to know what exactly is going on, and who I'm getting serious with. Should I ask him about his ex? If not what questions should I be asking?
The Answer
You should be asking him why - if he is really done with her - he is holding on to her mail as an act of vengeance. It's also a crime. He's obligated by law to give to her, or to mark it as Return to Sender and give it back to the postal worker. Since what he is doing is a crime, she could take him to court for holding on to her mail. He needs to give it back. "I don't feel like it." doesn't cut it.
If he doesn't want to deal with her, then he needs to give it back to the post office. Like, yesterday.
If he is actually ready to date again, then he is ready to stop bullying his ex and stealing her mail. No matter what else went down, he needs to stop the evil little games.
In your shoes, I'd ask about the cats as well. Just straight up ask. Because if there is ANY truth to it, he's a monster. Anyone who doesn't go out of their way to keep pets safe and cared for during a breakup is a monster. If he doesn't know that, you need to get far, far away from him.
If his side of the story is anything but "I did everything I could to keep those cats safe! I only gave them away because she couldn't take them and I was going to get evicted or die from allergies!" then he's a monster. Anyone who would hurt an animal to get back at an ex is someone you need to stay very, very far away from.
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The Question
Hi for whoever answers this! Ok, so I looked all over the Internet and couldn't find an answer so i was hoping maybe one of you would know the answer. Ok, so I heard for women if they eat less than 1200 calories their body could go into starvation mode. I eat about half those calories, but I still eat plenty. I just eat things that are low in calories and don't overeat. If I start taking in more calories or even eat sugar, then I'll feel like I can't stop. Plus for me, these diets are addicting and I'm perfectly fine with that. I also work off about 130 calories at least each day so it's like my net is around 500 calories. If I eat more, I'll stretch my stomach out, and if I eat things in higher calories, then I'll get back to eating fatty foods, and I feel healthy foods will, well, keep me healthier. I have felt so much better since starting this diet, but I heard that these diets can burn out your metabolism. Will this happen if your still eating enough and have high metabolism foods (egg whites, coffee, green tea, grilled chicken, etc)? To be honest, I'm a little too worried to stop this diet because I always go on and off with this diet and every time I "take a break" from it, I can never seem to stop eat fatty foods and I get to where I don't want to exercise as much. So after hearing all of this, is this diet still ok for me since I eat enough and eat high metabolism foods? It's probably not gonna change the way I eat, I just really need to know. Thank you so much for your time!
The Answer
You are starving yourself. What you are describing is not okay.
It's not a diet, it's just starving yourself.
You will NEVER be able to keep the weight off if this is how you do it. Eventually you'll "take a break" because it's really hard to convince yourself to keep on starving yourself indefinitely. And instead of learning how to actually eat healthy, you'll just yo-yo between eating badly one way (too much junk) and eating badly another way (too little to survive on).
You need to see a doctor, and likely a counsellor, to get accurate information about your health, and to deal with your eating disorder.
If you are eating less than 500 calories a day, you either don't know how to count calories, or you have an eating disorder.
I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings, but it's indisputable. If you are actually doing what you say you are doing, you have an eating disorder. That is what you've described here.
You also seem to believe a whole bunch of myths that are common among people with eating disorders. "Starvation Mode" is a myth. "High metabolism" food is a myth. These are utterly non-scientific things people say when they are trying to justify starving themselves. What isn't a myth is that parts of your body will shut down if you don't give it enough fuel. Your periods will stop. Your nails will break. Your teeth and hair get weak.
Eating healthy is great! But eating too little can make you sick. Doing it for long enough will make you sick in ways that your body may never recover from.
Ask for help. Now. What you need to know it's going to be found on Google or from strangers. You need to speak to the experts who can address what you are actually doing to body and how to heal it and keep it healthy.
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The Question
im 13 and I masturbate all the time especially with brushs and I go really fast and deep and I think the cum sorta smelled like blood the other day so I was wondering if that could pop my cherry
The Answer
Yes you can absolutely break your hymen while masturbating. Especially if you masturbate by inserting things other than your fingers.
There is nothing wrong with masturbating, or breaking your hymen. Many - if not most - women break their hymen in some way long before they ever have sex with someone else. What is important is that you not hurt yourself. So if something in painful, stop.
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The Question
Sigh, one over year ago against the advice from the people here, I married my girlfriend. That was the beginning of hell. I have taken a loan of $40000 from her to sustain my ongoing business since our marriage. But ever since then, she has been hounding me for the money. Also, I notice she start nit picking on me cos I lied to her ob many occasions. Why did I lie? Well, basically my spouse is not exactly a easy person to talk to. When I tell her the truth and it is something she doesn't like to hear or expect to hear, she will physically kuck me, slap me or beat me. I always walk away cos as a guy if I were to retaliate, I WILL HURT HER. So, I chose to lie. But then, she will chack on my phone, on me, call my customers and frds etc. She is distrusting towards me. She keep complaining how she use to lead a good life and ever since she married a good for nothing like me, she suffered a lot as she has never been poor before etc....mind you, I am the sole breadwinner of the family as she refuses to work and expects me to provide with everything and better still, a luxurious life. Last year alone, I spend more than a hundred thousand on her and the family. She just can't live thriftly. Now that I'm down and out, she is pressing me for her loan, threatening to take our son away and chase me and my daughter away. Constantly, I have to bear with her temper and the words that come out of her mouth?? Not for the ears....not to mention the constant physical beatings and kickings I have to take from her weekly. Everyday its the grumbling and stuff. When I ask her to get a job to help the family, I will be berated and insulted for a being a useless man who can't even afford to support his wife with nasty words and phrases coming out of her eg. Its my biggest mistake to marry u....u r the worse man I ever come across....all my previous bfs have never treated me like this and they all treat me better than u..u can die for all I care...take your useless bastard of a daughter away...if your daughter die ask her not to die at home...so on n forth..
Now I really need to know, should I walk away from tis marriage?? What should I do?? I suggested counselling but she refused saying counselling is stupid n she is right n do not need counselling. Pls help....wat should I do?? I'm really tired of her abuse. I love her a lot but she is never happy ir satisfied. She nitpicks on everything from shaving to the clothes I wear. I can't even choose wat shoes I like n if I ever go against her, whoo boy,all hell breaks loose. Tell me, should I leave her? I still owe her $60000 (she charges interest)
The Answer
The question of the loan will need be answered by a lawyer. It's quite possible that the terms of such a loan are not enforceable, but that is something you'll need to explore with expert legal minds, not strangers online.
On a personal level, you also need to get out. You are being abused. You need to get out as soon as you can be sure of your children's safety - it sounds to me that at least your eldest daughter will need to come with you to be certain that she isn't exposed to ongoing abuse herself.
Go to counselling, on your own, because you deserve the support and a safe place to examine your own feelings and choice.
Start documenting the threats and violence. Even if you aren't willing to call the police, start keeping a record of her violent outburst, her threats, and any threats she makes against your relationship with your children.
There is no marriage to save when one partner believes they have the right to abuse the other. You simply have to protect yourself, your children, and your finances to the best of your ability. Get expert advice, and get out.
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The Question
My boyfriend and I have been together for year, he said on out second year he was going to purpose to me. I just want to know if its legal in the state of Georgia to get ENGAGED (not married)?
The Answer
You can be engaged.
An engagement isn't really a legal arrangement in and of itself. You can say you are engaged the same way you can say you'll travel to Europe - when you are legally allowed to do that. It's just a private promise made between two people. But calling yourself engaged wont change any other laws that apply to you and his relationship, including age of consent rules, or your own parents ability - legally - to separate you.
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The Question
What else would raise estrogen and testosterone so much?
The Answer
Masturbation doesn't cause precocious pseudopuberty in girls.
The excess estrogen in their system can just be a natural thing for their body, or it can be caused by tumours on the ovaries. If you think your child is showing signs of pseudopuberty, go to a doctor.
But it is absolutely, 100%, not caused by masturbation. Masturbation primarily effects endorphins. It's effects on the hormones that contribute to sexual development is really minimal. It absolutely wouldn't raise hormones levels enough to change anything about puberty.
Sexual pleasure from masturbation can be derived by children at any age, even infants. There is nothing wrong with it. It's not indicative of any sort of health problem, nor does it lead to any health problems. It's simply a behaviour that needs to be put in a healthy context for a very young child.
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The Question
What does it mean when a guy tells you your nothing but a dime n a dozen?
The Answer
"A dime a dozen" means something is common, cheap or plentiful.
He was probably saying there are a lot of other girls out there like you. That you aren't special. It's not a kind thing to call a person.
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The Question
Hello! For those of you that have answered my other question about me leaving a note on my crush's car with my number on it, I would just like to say that it worked! He went away on a business trip this past week and had returned late last night so he called me today. I was away at a music festival this weekend and I didn't recognize his number when he called so I sent it to voicemail. He left me a cute voicemail apologizing that it took him so long to call because he was away for work and that if I called him back, that would be really cool. He's always so shy around me in person, but tonight it was like he was a new person, he was speaking well and at a tone where I could hear him (maybe because we weren't face to face). But when I found out it was him that had called, I called him back but I think I left him the weirdest voicemail ever. I know I'm reading too much into it but I only left him a less that ten second voicemail and I feel like I sounded all giggly and awkward and shy, even though it was over the phone I was still nervous. I said and I quote "Hey ____, it's _____. *awkward pause* I guess we can just talk tomorrow if you're working. *awkward chuckle* It was really nice to have you call."
He and my brother are pretty good friends and everyone is saying that him being a guy, he probably won't pick up on the giggling or even the awkwardness since he probably felt the same awkwardness. But I'm nervous that he'll think I'm weird now or something. AND, in regards to my title above, I'm kind of mad at myself for saying that I guess we could just talk to work tomorrow. Because now I'm thinking what if he doesn't work or what if I don't see him and we don't talk? How long should I wait (or he) before maybe shooting out a text like "hey haven't seen you around to talk, we should hang out" or whatever?
I am just so afraid that my awkwardness is going to ruin this. I've liked him since high school and now to find out that he's into me to....it sends my heart racing just thinking about it. But with him not being so nervous on his voicemail and me botching mine up, I don't know what to do. I'm still nervous and I feel like he isn't. Just any help is appreciated. If you'd think my voicemail would come off weird, how long I should wait if I don't see him, that kind of thing.
Thanks!
I'm 20/f.
He's 22.
The Answer
If he is into you, it doesn't matter how awkward your voicemail was.
But you are right: You broke the first rule of trying to take it to the next level, you left it vague. Next time you speak to him, either in person, or on the phone, HAVE A PLAN. Have a movie you want to see, or an activity in mind. Don't do the whole wishy-washy "Oh, maybe we'll hang out sometime." That doesn't work and it doesn't let someone know you are actually interested. Instead, say "I will doing X on Thursday night. You should come."
If they can't make it, that's a good lead in to make some other plan instead.
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The Question
I made two shirts today, one with Steven Universe, and the other with the septic eye and tiny box Tim. Is it ok to wear these in public? The Steven Universe one has there logo and the main characters. The other one has a name on the bottom and a copyright sign. I included there name and the copyright sign with the shirt I made. These shirts are only for me, and I am not selling any of them. If there only for me can I wear them in public without getting in trouble? Thanks! :)
The Answer
A copyrighted image belongs to the copyright-holder and no
one else. Pretty much any reproduction and use of the image requires the permission of the copyright-holder.
So what you've done IS copyright infringement. It doesn't matter at al that you left the little copyright sign on it - that doesn't change a thing - you still don't have a licence to use the images.
It also doesn't sound like anything you've done here would fall under fair use. You know the images you took are licensed, and It's not satirical, or educational use.
However, you probably won't get in trouble. People care far more about commercial violations of copyright - people taking their images and trying to make a profit off of them - then a personal, one-time, violation like you are describing. It's also pretty unlikely that the copyright-holders will either become aware of your t-shirts, or bother to pursue a legal case against you.
But, they could, if they wanted too. They image belongs to them, not you, so you are using it at your own risk. What you are doing is a violation of their right as a copyright holders, even though they will probably never know about it, or a give a damn.
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The Question
I put in a tampon for the first time. at first I thought i did it right, but then realized it was really uncomfortable, and I don't think all the way in. But I went to get it out, and it won't come out, and hurts really bad. it's been in for about 2 hours.
The Answer
If you can't get it out yourself, you need to see a doctor to have it taken out.
I know it's scary, but it can't stay in there. After 8-10 hours you start having a risk of becoming very sick. The sickness caused by tampons left in too long can even kill you if it's not treated very quickly.
It CAN be removed, but if you can't get it out yourself, you need to see medical help, either at a doctor's office, a clinic or then ER. It's very, very important you get it out.
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The Question
Before I met my current boyfriend, I was dating someone much older than me, with a lucrative past (he lied about his past, and even his age at first). My boyfriend knows about this guy, but not the details; certainly not his age.
He's never asked, but should I tell him? What if he doesn't want to be with a girl who has a stain on her past?
Thanks :)
The Answer
Why do you think this a 'stain'?
If you really feel it's a big deal that you choose to date someone older than you, then yes, you should probably mention that to your boyfriend.
However, it's really not a big deal. It's a a choice you made - maybe it wasn't a good one, but it sounds like that had more to do with the guy's lies than his age. It's not a 'stain' it's an error. Stop beating yourself up, and definitely don't let anyone else look down on you because you dated someone older! That's no crime. It doesn't make you any less worthy of love than if you only ever dated people your own age.
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The Question
So, if I had a dream and then woke up not recalling several elements of it, it is possible or even likely that my while awake my imagination will attempt to fill in the gaps, whether or not they are accurate at all?
The Answer
It's not just likely, it's exactly what SHOULD happen in a healthy mind. Even when you are awake, your mind makes assumptions and fills in details that are missing. That is basically the exact thing that going on when you experience deja vu! Your mind is trying to fill in a missing piece of information.
Our minds are excellent at filling in the blanks when our senses don't provide enough information. Although it can be a bit uncomfortable to realize that your mind isn't telling always telling you the complete truth, it's the same for everyone, and it's a really cool thing about human beings.
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The Question
So there is is teller that works at my bank. She's been there for a while and sometimes I do get the feeling that she might be interested because she either is more talkative to me than others or makes an extra effort to be the one who serves me (unless that's just in my head and wishful thinking which it could be).
Sorry to use the rather generic and superficial way to classify this but as far as looks go, I'm probably a "6" or in a good day a "7" and on a VERY RARE occasion some with lower standards might put me at an "8". She, on the other hand, is easily a "9" and in my opinion a "10". So, there's a big gap.
I've never been one to easily approach women anyway. If I do, it often takes me months to work up the courage and I literally lament over the language I will use. In the past, I've actually tried to figure out the fewest number of words to get the point across so that I could try to avoid the nerves in my voice.
And I tend to come up with reason, legitimate or not, to avoid asking. In her case, I think about whether or not it might be inappropriate given I am a client of the bank and that it would be awkward banking there if she said no.
So, what should I do? Should I ask her out, and how? Or should I admire her from afar?
The Answer
You aren't going to like this, but there is no responsible way to convey romantic interest to someone in circumstances where they are professionally obliged to be polite to you.
Thats not an excuse you are coming up, that is a totally legit issue. Asking a woman out where she works, and you are a customer, is just not respectful.
By all means talk to her, but don't put her on the spot with a date request while she is working. Ask her questions about her life and get to know her better. If she is interested in you she might clue you in on to where she might be outside of work, where she goes to lunch, or something she does outside of work. If she doesn't do that, or if she avoids answering questions about her life outside of work. assume she is just a friendly teller.
What 'league' she is in really doesn't matter in this case. Because you met her at her place of work, where she has to be kind to you, you are going to have to get her to invite you into her in life in some non-work way, before you can even ask her out! So really, there is no reason for you to stress over this. Keep on talking to her and being friendly. If she is interested in any more than that, she'll open that door. If she doesn't, ah well, you know a friendly teller at your bank.
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